


Path to You

by pathstovirtue



Category: Figure Skating RPF, Olympics RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Divorce, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fertility Issues, Happy Ending, It gets better I promise, Kid Fic, Minor Character Death, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2019-05-19 14:58:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 190,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14875943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pathstovirtue/pseuds/pathstovirtue
Summary: She still had the natural raven-colored, wavy curls that he could recognize anywhere. Her hair went just past her shoulders, and he could tell that she hadn't been eating: slumped shoulders, a slight shake to her stance in her heels, and the greyness of her flesh on her arms. Tessa's eyes immediately met Scott's and within seconds of seeing him, tears leaked out of her swollen eyes. That was not his Tessa, the Tessa he loved for twenty years.ORAfter a tragic event occurs, Tessa feels like she is alone until Scott comes back into her life unexpectedly. Both living completely different lives, they must navigate through their friendship and past relationship to see what truly happened back then and what the future holds for them.





	1. The Unexpected

**Some things are so unexpected that no one is prepared for them.**

**–Leo Rosten**

 

* * *

  _Sunlight poured through the large glass windows that overlooked downtown Tokyo. As the warm rays hit Scott's face, his eyes fluttered open to see the messy pile of raven-colored hair spread on the pillow in front of him. Smiling at Tessa, he grabbed her waist and pulled her closer, unable to resist everything that encompassed her. He felt like the luckiest man in the world, to be able to wake up to her every morning, to be able to do life together._

_Tessa stirred slightly to position herself closer to Scott's bare chest. She let out a peaceful sigh, before muttering out the words, "good morning" and refusing to open up her eyes. She never became a morning person, no matter how many years of early morning practices she endured. "Is it time to get up?"_

_He chuckled and kissed her on the cheek. "Go back to sleep, Tess. You still have a couple more hours."_

_"Good," Tessa defiantly said._

_Within a few moments, she was back to her peaceful slumber. Scott laid there with her for another hour, just watching her sleep and feeling the way her body perfectly curved into him. At one point he slipped out of bed to head to get a light run in before the day got started, making sure to tuck Tessa in so she wouldn't get cold. He pressed his lips against her forehead, letting it linger for a few seconds. God, she was perfect._

_He ran into Luca in the gym, who was finishing a light weight workout. "Morning Scott!" He shouted, unnecessarily but he had his headphones blasting. "Ready for the zoo today?"_

_Scott let out a chuckle beginning to stretch his legs. "Where is Anna? Don't you normally do your workouts together?"_

_Luca paused his music, taking out his headphones to drape them across the back of his neck. "She decided to sleep in since she was up late talking to the husband. Time zones suck," He stated, combing his sweaty hair. "Tessa asleep?"_

_"Probably," said Scott. Both him and Tessa had agreed to keep it underwraps that they shared a hotel room, let alone were together in any way outside of their partnership on the ice. He knew the constant speculation by the entire world, but both were adamant about keeping their image about their career._

_He didn't buy what Scott said, but proceeded to tidy up the various weights he scattered across the floor. "Buddy, do you think you can continue denying it? We see you at practice."_

_Scott laughed combing his hair back. "I mean even an idiot can figure it out, apparently social media already has. We just decided to not confirm anything publicly for a while to give us a chance to keep it to ourselves."_

_"When's the proposal?" teased Luca._

_"That requires an engagement ring," Scott said stepping onto the treadmill and punching in settings. "Not that it matters, but I'm in the process of designing the ring."_

_At this point in Scott's life, he was confident that Tessa was the only person meant for him. Every morning when he would watch her peacefully sleep or let out a soft sigh as she stirred, made him want to spend the rest of his life that way. It wasn't just with her; it was continuing doing life with her outside of skating. Surprising her with breakfast in bed, rubbing her feet after long days of work, spending rainy days watching old movies (that he pretended to hate), and eventually starting a family with her. It was all Scott wanted in his life, and he knew that he would never stop choosing her._

_His workout was enough to continue keeping him in shape for his performances. His lips curled into a grin when he got back to the room to see his girl laying there still wrapped in the hotel blankets like a burrito. He lightly padded over to her, crouching in front of her face immediately seeing her nose wrinkle._

_"Time for the big day, kiddo," He whispered, planting a kiss on her nose then her lips._

_Tessa's beautiful jade eyes fluttered open, as a warm smile spread across her lips. "How come you are the only person who can make my mornings more bearable?" She murmured faintly, reaching her neck up to give him another kiss deeper than the last._

_Scott's tongue grazed her lips slightly causing a small moan to escape Tessa's lips. He pulled away, both having the same desire and longing for more. A sly grin spread on Scott's face as he said, "I have to take a shower still." Tessa barely had to nod her head, before he swept her out from underneath the covers and carried her to the bathroom._

_Their life together was beautiful and messy, but in many ways, it felt like them._

 

* * *

He stood outside the building with a lump in his throat, feeling the grief leaking out of the double-doored funeral home. It had been awhile since he stepped foot in a funeral home, let alone see her. Her. That very same person that he last saw at a bar when he was drinking his sorrows away. That happened five years ago when his newly married-self decided to hide from the heartache, the fact that there was going to be a part of his marriage that would never quite work.

 

Now he was thirty-six, going on thirty-seven and about to get divorced. The impending divorce that led him childless and nearly jobless (Marie-France and Patch were not enjoying him bringing his problems to the ice every day). His grandfather used to always tell him that life is filled with unexpected events, but never once did he think it would amount to this. Never once did he imagine he would be standing outside of the funeral home about to see her again.

 

Taking a deep breath, he walked through the doors of the funeral home to hear sad whispers fill the air. He saw Kate first, who was greeting the guests as they arrived at the door. The sad eyes met Scott's, as she walked over and gave him a tight hug. "Oh, Scott. Thank you so much for coming," She whispered, letting a few tears run down her face.

 

"Anything for her," He stated solemnly. Rubbing Kate's back momentarily, he pulled back and gave her a small smile. "How is she?"

 

Kate returned with a weary smile, which had dread written all over it. "Not doing well, I'm afraid. Keeps blaming herself and saying that if it weren't for him, she would be the one lying there. The guilt eats away at her making her shut down."

 

Scott nodded, he knew Kate's reference. It was the moments on and off the ice where Tessa would have a minor flaw and keep blaming herself. She would shut down in a way that no one could get through to her, except for Scott, but that changed when he entered her life. It was the same person that she ended up marrying, that became "the one" to her. That very same person that would cause the intoxicating giggle to fill the air, give her that sense of encouragement to reach for the stars, and stay up nearly all night talking about nonsense in bed. Everyone loved him for making Tessa happy, for giving her that fulfilled life that Scott always wanted for her.

 

"I'm going to go find her," He whispered.

 

Squeezing Kate's hand, he allowed her to return to other guests that were making an appearance. Scott rounded the corner to make it to the open area, where people gathered around the plethora of photographs, newspaper clippings, and other scattered memorabilia on the tables. Slowly, he walked over to one smiling at a few of the pictures. Especially the silly one of the three of them that were sledding down a massive hill in Ilderton from their first Christmas together.

 

His eyes stole a glance at the picture of Tessa and her husband on their wedding day, both beaming at each other as they were walking down the aisle together. Scott remembered that day, especially when his mind had been continuously playing the "what if" game the entire wedding. He gave a sad smile, reaching his hand to graze the picture slightly.

 

Marcus "Mark" Johnston

June 5th1986 – May 10th 2024

Perfect husband, fantastic father.

Always loving, always loved.

 

He attempted to swallow the building lump in the throat, as he pushed away tears from his face. Instinctively, his eyes scanned the crowd for Tessa, needing to see her. As he began walking away from the table to find her, he didn't notice the little girl that was coming from the other direction. The tiny girl smacked into his legs, dropping her stuffed rabbit on the ground. Instinctively his arms reached out to steady her from tumbling forward. "I'm sorry, are you okay?" He said, crouching down to grab her rabbit and give it to her.

 

She shook her head furiously, her dark loose curls bouncing, then started sniveling. "No, my mommy is upset." Her free hand came up to wipe the tears and snot away from her face, still staring at the ground.

 

"Why is she upset?" Scott asked her, rubbing the girl's arm. The little girl started crying causing Scott to pull her into his arms immediately. He rubbed her back and attempted to get her to calm down, already feeling her cries start to subside. Scott pulled back from her first, pulling his handkerchief out of his suit pocket to help wipe away her tears. Once he established a more constant calm, he gave her a toothy grin. "How rude of me to hug you before we even exchanged names. My name is Scott and what are you and your friend's name?"

 

The girl pulled away, her eyes instantly lighting up. "My name is Angela but call me Ella. And this is Sir Bunchkins," She stated, then hugged the rabbit close against her chest. The girl's eyes moved up to meet Scott's, with the same color and in-depth look that he had gotten to know for twenty years straight. Tessa.

 

Staring at Ella, he began to notice the features on her face. For the most part, her face looked like her father's, but the hair and eyes were utterly Tessa. It was to the point that it took over her entire face, which made Ella indistinguishable.

 

"Sir Bunchkins? That is quite a name for a handsome fella," said Scott, pointing at the rabbit. "Who had the honor of naming this special friend?"

 

The girl sighed. "Daddy. Mommy says that Daddy gave it to me when I was a baby, and it always stopped me crying. I tried giving her Sir Bunchkins to feel better today, but she said it wouldn't make her stop crying."

 

Scott's heart ached to look at this young girl that was three or four years old. Her life had barely begun before it changed in the blink of an eye. The memories of her father would become obsolete, with the only tie to her father being the rabbit. He couldn't even imagine going through his life without both parents heavily involved in it. There was no way he wouldn't be the person he was today if it wasn't for the unwavering support of his father.

 

Her eyes met Scott's gaze, as her little hands reached outwards to wrap around his thumbs. "Are you here because of Mommy?" She whispered, her bottom lip starting to quiver again. "I saw you from the pictures Mommy showed me. You were her best friend before she met Daddy."

 

His entire body sunk hearing those words from Ella. Things had indeed changed the last five years, as he recalled the last moment he set eyes on Tessa when they truly lost each other. They occasionally saw each other for specific press events, but never once did they talk about their personal lives. Their conversations and minimum press talks consisted about the current skating, their past partnership, and their current career endeavors. Never once did their own lives seep into the conversation, mostly as a result of them marrying different people. Indeed, the public no longer cared about their personal life which was a relief to many. He didn't even know that she had a child. That never came up in conversation.

 

His eyes gazed down at the girl that lit up the room like Tessa always did, he gave her a bittersweet smile. "Yes, I'm here because of your mother." He stood up, not letting go of Ella's hand. "How about we go find her? I'm sure she is looking for you."

 

"I know where she is, she is with Daddy," Ella said, sadness pooling in her eyes.

 

She led him to the other end of the room, with Scott politely excusing himself as they weaved through the people. They approached the front of the crowd, where Ella ripped her out of his and flung herself towards the back of the woman, who stared into the coffin outstretched on the table. Scott's breath caught, as he saw Ella run to the woman her back turned to him. She still had the natural raven-colored, wavy curls that he could recognize anywhere. Her hair went just past her shoulders, and he could tell that she hadn't been eating: slumped shoulders, a slight shake to her stance in her heels, and the greyness of her flesh on her arms.

 

"Mommy," said Ella, grabbing ahold of her hand.

 

Tessa turned to the side, still not seeing Scott hovering a few feet behind her. She knelt down to pick up her daughter and held her close, stroking the wild head of curls. An uneasy smile spread across Tessa's lips, forcing a brave face for Ella, before giving a kiss on the forehead. "Back so soon? Did you find Grandma Kate?"

 

Ella shook her head. "No, I found your friend. The one you told me about," She shyly responded, before pointing in Scott's direction.

 

Tessa's gaze immediately shot towards Scott. Within moments of seeing him, tears leaked out of her swollen eyes, as her jade eyes met his hazel ones. The usual warmness to Tessa had vanquished, with her expression filled with despair and anger. The natural glow that sported her face replaced with greyness and redness, with dark sunken circles under her eyes. That was not his Tessa, the Tessa he loved for twenty years.

 

Tessa's body began slightly quaking, as she gently placed Ella back on the ground. Neither one of them broke their gaze but stood grounded in their place on the carpeted floor.

 

"Scott," Tessa stuttered after a moment passed.

 

He walked over to her causing her entire face to drop, as he pulled her into that tight familiar hug. Her face buried in the crook of his neck, as her body increased its tremble to the point where she could barely stand. Except, his strong hands and arms would never let her fall, as he instinctively tightened his grip on her.

 

"It's okay, Tess, I won't let you fall." It was that very same line to give her trust and security that he told her years ago at every practice and competition when they practice their lifts.

 

"You're here," She whispered.

 

He sighed and rubbed her back. "Of course, I'm here, Tess. As soon as I heard, I got on the first flight to London."

 

She sniveled into his chest, as he continued holding her. No one else surrounded them, as they began falling back into their little world again where it was just the two of them. "Hey, Tess, Tessa. It's okay. Just take a few deep breaths, it'll be okay."

 

Out of instinct, her sobs began suppressing as her breathing matched up with his. It was the hug that would calm her down before every competition, to make them feel connected, and give them that sense of security.

 

"It won't be okay," She whispered, "Mark. I lost him, Scott. I won't ever see him again." Another sob escaped her.

 

Scott nodded, still cradling Tessa's head. "I know, kiddo. It is going to hurt like hell for a while. Then one day you are going to wake up and learn that you can do life."

 

He looked around to see a few people, including Tessa's daughter, staring at the two of them. Many people knew Tessa and Scott and their funny relationship, just gave them a tiny smile, while others from Mark's side of the family had a stagnant look of confusion. Taking it as a cue, he pulled back from the hug to see the tears streaming down her lightly freckled face. Out of instinct, he began wiping away the tears telling her that it will all be okay.

 

"You didn't need to come."

 

"No, but I wanted to," He whispered. "I'm staying here until you tell me to leave, Tess."

 

Before Tessa could respond, Ella had wandered close to the pair grabbing hold of Tessa's hand. Tessa broke eye contact with Scott to gaze down at her daughter, giving her little hand a tight squeeze. Clutching her rabbit, Ella wrapped her arms around Tessa's leg burying her face into it. "It's okay, Mommy. We have each other."

 

Tessa ran a hand through Ella's hair, smiling down at her. Tears continued sliding down her face, as she looked over at the open casket. She swallowed back a sob and tore her eyes away to meet Scott's. "Yeah, at least we have each other."

 

Scott went to excuse himself, seeing Ella starting to peak around Tessa's legs at the casket. He decided it would be best to give the new family of two space, but as he started backing away to let other visitors greet Tessa, she grabbed ahold of his hand. Her creamy hand still had its characteristic warmth, as it found his. Out of instinct, her pinky found its place in Scott's hand giving her that comfort. Things may have changed between them, but their friendship was still there.

 

Her eyes met his, with an ounce of fear beneath the saddened layer. Their nonverbal language was still intact, as he saw her struggling to keep herself relatively together. Kate and Jordan would be there to give her strength, but she needed someone else. "Stay," She whispered.

 

And he did.


	2. Tell Me It Is Going to Be Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The burial service takes place and Scott does a kind gesture for Tessa and Ella.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Sorry for the delay, but I had a huge research conference for grad school to attend. Thank you for all of the love for this story so far. I love being able to write this and allow my creativity to soar. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy! Once again, thank you to my friends who have continued supporting me and have helped me shape this story.

**Chapter 2**

 

During the rest of the visitation, Ella remained close to her mother, suddenly with a fear of leaving her mother's side. Her arms wrapped around Tessa's legs, with her rabbit dangling by one its ears, as she shyly hid from the guests that were paying their respects. Teary eyes stared over at the casket that contained her father, with a longing to be able to see him again.

 

Scott stood nearby, but with enough distance where the new family of two could have space. His entire body tensed, as he saw Ella rubbing her eyes and burying her face into Tessa's leg after momentarily looking at the casket. Choking back any emotion, he glanced out the window that overlooked the peaceful outdoor sanctuary.

 

"Scott?" said a voice, suddenly alerting him from his thoughts. A warm hand touched his arm, as he turned around to see Mark's younger sister, Liz. She gave him a slightly confused look as to why he would be showing his face after all of these years. "What are you doing here?"

 

He reached up to scratch the back of his head, sheepishly looking around. “As soon as I found out about Mark, I got on the first flight here. I had to see her, I had to know she was okay," Scott wearily said.

 

Liz nodded her head. "Mark would appreciate you looking out for her. How's Kaylie doing? We haven't heard much from you guys the past few years."

 

Scott swallowed, not wanting to bring up the topic of his failed marriage. Not many people knew about it, mostly out of embarrassment that he was approaching his late thirties and every relationship failed him.

 

"Busy with work," Scott replied.

 

Her eyes narrowed, immediately not buying what she said. "How long are you going to stay in town?"

 

"Supposed to go back in a few days."

 

Mark's sister nodded her head. "I'm am flying back to Vancouver in a week, but just scared to leave Tessa, Angela, and my parents . . . I—" She paused, to choke back any emotion that arose in her tone.

 

Scott wrapped an arm around Liz, giving her a rub. "It'll be okay, I promise."

 

The guests began emptying out, soon leaving Tessa, Ella, and both families near the casket. A cry escaped Ella, as Tessa hoisted her up to see her father lying there. Both Liz and Scott froze in their conversation, as Tessa held Ella close and attempted to comfort her. Liz clutched her heart, politely excused herself from Scott, and walked over to her niece.

 

Tears were building in the corner of Scott's eyes, as a somnolent Tessa gave Ella over to Liz and slowly walked away. She looked exhausted as if she could collapse at any point. Tessa made eye contact with Scott and gave him a look to follow her, in which Scott was quick to oblige. He ducked outside of the funeral home shortly after Tessa left, to follow her into the little sanctuary.

 

He found her sitting on the bench that was surrounded by a fountain and flowers that would help temporarily clear anyone's minds. Without hesitation he sat down next to her, her head immediately finding his shoulder. He didn't flinch at all with her touch, but instead wrapped an arm around her shoulders and let her sit there.

 

A few moments passed.

 

"This is the only quiet I have had in days," murmured Tessa into Scott's shoulder. "No one has given me a chance to be alone in days, and I just need—"

 

"Need to breathe," Scott said completing her sentence with no hesitation.

 

Tessa looked over at him, giving her head a slight nod. "Everything these past few days has been devoted to her, to make sure she has a safe place with me. I haven't had the chance to process all of this because right now my focus has to be on Angela. No one else."

 

Scott nodded, then grabbed her hand to give it a light squeeze. "She's beautiful, Tess."

 

She sat up straight, her eyes flickering to meet his own. "Yeah, she really is. She's my perfect little girl, something that I always knew I wanted." Her tone was bittersweet, as she awkwardly broke eye contact with Scott to stare out into the distance at the rows of flowers, still not letting go of his hand. "Thank you for coming again, Scott, it means a lot to me. Especially after all this time."

 

Grabbing her hand, Scott began tracing light circles on the top of her hand. "You know I never stopped caring about you, T."

 

Tessa's eyes glistened with tears causing herself to close her eyes immediately. "I needed this," She sighed, her head finding his shoulder once more.

 

Scott gave Tessa's hand a tight squeeze and continued holding it, gazing back at the funeral home. There were many questions Scott wanted to know from Tessa, mostly the fact that she never told him about her daughter. Then again, she never asked more about Scott's personal life other than how Kaylie was doing. He had been lying to her the past several times he saw her, saying that he and Kaylie were doing great.

 

The truth was his marriage had been falling apart the last couple years, and he felt like he couldn't tell Tessa. He couldn't tell her that another one of his relationships failed, especially when this time hers hadn't. Tessa successfully broke their relationship cycle, that at times felt cursed. The sequence that consisted of both of them getting into a committed relationship, only to have it fall apart because it wasn't each other.

 

~~

 

_Scott knocked on Tessa's door, knowing that it was well after midnight. He knew that Tessa would be curled up in bed reading a book with a cup of tea. No training the next day was a blessing to Tessa, considering the night always called her name. She answered it rather quickly, almost expecting him to be there; hair loosely in a bun, a freshly washed face, and a faded shirt—that he immediately recognized as his. Her jade eyes lit up when she saw him, but a hesitant smile spread across her face._

_"Third date that bad?" Tessa whispered._

_It only took her saying those words to make himself lose every ounce of self-control. Scott grabbed ahold of her waist and pressed his lips firmly against her own, with one hand immediately wrapping in his long hair with the other one slamming her door shut. They told each other that they would try dating other people, to not always rely on each other for everything in life. But a failed relationship or date later, they would end up in each other's bed fucking for weeks on end._

_"Horrible," He murmured, just millimeters away from her lips._

_As Tessa opened up her mouth to respond, he immediately took it as a cue to slip his tongue inside her mouth. She let out an intoxicating moan, as she pulled them even closer together to press them up against her kitchen counter. His fingers danced at the bottom of her shirt, suddenly getting a glimpse of her bare ass._

_"Was someone anticipating this bad date?" He said to gaze into her eyes._

_Her intoxicating smile spread across her face, as a giggle escaped her lips. "I'll never answer that."_

_"Always the stubborn one," Scott slyly said, lifting her shirt off to reveal that she was also braless._

_It didn't come as a surprise to either one of them, when Scott grabbed underneath her ass and lifted her off the ground to place her on top of the kitchen counter, her legs naturally wrapping around his waist. Neither one of them was daring to break the kiss. His fingers daringly trailed down her toned stomach, before pausing near her crotch and teased her._

_She let out a moan, pulling away with eager eyes. "Don't do this to me."_

_“What do you want then?”_

_“For you to have me.”_

_This was their habit, that was a blessing and a curse. Scott didn't even have to think twice about what he had to do to make Tessa come or to even know what position gave her the most pleasure. He knew; it was their routine, and it all felt like second nature to them._

 

~~

". . . ashes to ashes, dust to dust . . "the priest's voice echoed.

 

A cool breeze rippled throughout the still cemetery, as the clouds covered the spring sky. Scott stood near the back of the crowd, as the beloved family and friends gathered around the coffin that was lowering into the plot. Initially, he hadn't intended to attend the funeral service, but he saw the distress in Tessa yesterday. He saw the way her family tried avoiding the subject acting as if she was too delicate to discuss death openly.

 

Tessa asked him to come, to be there, so she had someone that understood her as well as Mark did. Except, she didn't need to ask because as soon as Scott saw her yesterday, he knew he had to come.

 

Scott stared at the back of Tessa's head, who was holding her daughter on her hip in an attempt to protect her. Ella's head buried into Tessa's arms, with her tiny hand holding her rabbit close to her both watching the coffin slowly lower into the grave. A tear dripped down Scott's face causing him to quickly wipe it away in an attempt to hold himself together.

 

This was all too much.

 

Tessa placed Ella gently on the ground, as they slowly walked over to the grave. Both mother and daughter were holdings hands, as Tessa took the initiative to grab the small handful of dirt and hand it to Ella before taking more for herself. They both walked over to the grave, with Tessa staring at it intently. Her face entirely somber, struggling to hold back held back feelings. She once again was putting her daughter first, as a way to tell her that everything will be okay.

 

The line began moving with all of the beloved family and friends of Mark and Tessa's following suit. Ella hovered close to the grave, not tearing her eyes away from the dirt falling into the grave. Slowly Scott got in line in the back, not taking away his eyes from Tessa and Ella who stood a few feet away from the grave. She was hugging every person, thanking them for everything, while Ella hugged her bunny and sat on the grass.

 

Scott broke his gaze to grab a handful of dirt, before being the last one to step up to the edge of the plot. Swallowing her stared down at the plot, which contained the most important person in Tessa's life.

 

"You were good to her, Mark, and I know she found that true happiness she deserved with you," He paused, choking back a mixture of tears and sobs. "I can already tell how beautiful and smart Angela is. She is just as worried about her mother as her mother is about her. It won't be easy for them, and I know you will never be replaced."

 

Scott paused again, continuing to collect his thoughts. There was a cool breeze which sent shivers down his spine. "Mark, wherever you are, I'll look after them and make sure they are safe. Nothing will happen to them." He slowly released the dirt from his hand, watching it hit the coffin.

 

Digging his hands in his pockets, he gazed down at the coffin one last time before walking away from the grave. His shoes kicked at the grass, his heart heavy thinking about what the family continued to go through, before he regained his place back in the crowd. As he walked by Tessa and Ella, their backs were turned and didn’t even see him pass by. He knew Tessa was overwhelmed with emotions and the people here for her.

 

As they finished covering the plot with dirt, cries and sobs were heard throughout the crowd, the majority of them coming from Mark’s family. “May he rest in peace” the Priest said, once the final part of the grave was put together. The crowd echoed out the Priest, with many choking back tears.

 

People were slowly trickling out, with Tessa grabbing ahold of her daughter's hand to begin walking to the car with her sister and Jordan. He knew not to be offended by her lack of seeing him. She had to focus on the gravity of the situation and what was best to make her feel better and protect Ella.

 

Something possessed Scott to look up and see Tessa standing in the grass, watching Ella and Jordan walk away in the distance. Something was still holding her here. She let out a long sigh, running her hand through her curled hair, before turning around to see Scott.

 

Tears were glistening on her face. "Scott?" Her lips whispered, her body starting to tremble. "Tell me it is going to be okay."

 

Tessa was close to him, and before he knew it, he let her collapse into his arms sobbing. His knees felt weak, and soon enough they were sitting on the grass, with Tessa's entire body cradled tightly against Scott's chest. Her head was buried in his chest, as her hands clutched onto his suit jacket. It didn't matter that her makeup was rubbing off onto his white collared shirt, he just held her and rubbed her back.

 

"It's all my fault, Scott, all my fault," wailed Tessa.

 

"I promise you it is not," whispered Scott, still unsure about the incident that ended Mark's life. He knew Tessa would tell him about it on her terms and right now he just needed to be present. "Even if it were your fault he would forgive you because he loved you with all of his heart."

 

The cemetery workers began silently cleaning up from the burial service, while Scott held her close. They sat there, neither one of them saying anything to each other. He let Tessa cry for hours and allowed her to continue being vulnerable before she had to put on a brave face for her daughter and family. It was what he had to do and quite frankly, it was the only thing he could do in this moment.

 

Scott kissed the top of her head. "Let it out, Tess, we aren't leaving until you're ready."

 

~~

 

_They laid in each other's arms afterward, one hand wrapped tightly around her waist. She made small circles on Scott's bare chest, letting out soft sighs every once in a while. His other hand stroked her hair, occasionally pressing her lips to her strawberry scented hair._

_"I don't want this," She muttered._

_He froze, panicked that this would never happen again. "What do you mean?" Scott said, stumbling in his reply._

_Tessa sat up and looked over at him, biting her lip. Running a hand through her hair, she shrugged her shoulders. "I don't want us to date other people, Scott. That is what I mean."_

_"Oh?" Scott's voice faltered, as he swallowed and tried to calm down his pounding heart.  "Is it interfering with our skating, are you saying?" He knew that his history with girlfriends altered their dynamic, but ever since the comeback they swore not to let anyone change how they were—especially since they were stronger than ever._

_Her fingers laced within his own, as she shook her head. "I'm happy with you and no one else, Scott. I'm willing to give this a real chance."_

_Scott's heart fluttered, as his entire body began melting hearing those words come from Tessa's mouth. He always thought it would be him to suggest this first, but for once it was her. Her lips curled upward into a toothy grin, as he stared at her with disbelief. "Tess, you don't know how long I have waited--"_

_He didn't have a chance to say more before she pressed her lips against his. Tessa swung a leg over him, to straddle him, her hands immediately tugging on his hair. "This should stay between us for now, until we know this is it," Tessa murmured, millimeters away from his mouth, their noses rubbing up against each other._

_"I already know this is it," muttered Scott, closing the gap between them._

~~

 

Scott drove up Tessa's driveway, with a bag of ingredients in the back seat. He knew that this was ridiculous to show up, unannounced when she could be with her family. Something inside of him was pushing him towards her house, the very same house that had delicate white sofas and a fantastic kitchen (that she never cooked in). The very same kitchen where all the dance parties they had together when they cooked together.

 

As soon as he turned his car off, his phone began ringing to the tone he knew well. Kaylie. It was the song they danced to for their first dance as husband and wife, and he had forgotten to change it. Everything else had disappeared from his life that connected them together. Sighing, he picked up the phone. "Hey, Kaylie. How’s it going?"

 

_"Good. How are things going with the funeral and, um, Tessa?"_

 

He ran a hand through his hair, sensing the awkwardness. "As great as it can be," He sarcastically droned, tapping his steering wheel. "So, I have somewhere to be right now, what did you need?"

 

_"I scheduled a meeting with our lawyers for Wednesday to start going through the papers. Will that work? Do you know when you are planning on leaving Ilderton?"_

 

"I should be back by then. Marie-France and Patch only gave me a week off," Scott replied.

 

There was a pause on the phone.

 

_"Okay, send my condolences to Tessa and her family. Safe travels back."_

 

The phone disconnected Scott and rubbed his face, then momentarily placed his forehead on the top of the steering wheel. Things were awkward between him and Kaylie, even though the divorce was inevitably mutual. They both still cared about each other and wanted the best, but it still was hard organizing the lawyers and also beginning to understand how they will divide up the stuff.  "That damn dog better be mine since it was my idea," He murmured into the steering wheel.

 

A knock on the window of his car interrupted his thoughts, causing him to jolt upwards and smack his head on the back of the seat. Glancing over at the window, Tessa stood there with a blanket wrapped around her for warmth. A confused and slightly panicked expression was across her face, as Scott opened up the door to the car to give her a crooked smile.

 

"Scott? What are you doing here?" She asked.

 

His hand found the place on the back of his head that smacked the seat. "I thought I would bring over food. I know you have a lot of food, but I know how much you hate casseroles, and I doubt your cooking has improved—" Scott stumbled trying to find the right words, hoping this wasn't weird to be here again.

 

A small smile spread across her face, one that he hadn't seen the past few days.

 

"I'm sorry, it is stupid to show up unannounced. I just figured you needed something different and freshly cooked," stated Scott. "I guess it is an invasion of privacy all things considered, but I was worried and—"

 

Tessa peered into the car, spotting the groceries, causing Scott to pause. "What are you planning on making?"

 

"Chicken fettuccine alfredo," He stated grinning back at her. "Hope that sounds good."

 

Her weary eyes lit up momentarily, that reassured Scott of his impulsive decision. "Perfect actually, it is Ella's favorite." Tessa grabbed several of the grocery bags from Scott, realizing that there were more than just ingredients for a simple pasta dish. Smiling at Scott, they proceeded towards her front door that was slightly ajar.

 

The house was the same as Scott remembered it, except some of the breakable items replaced with toys and the generic photos that lined the walls now had wedding photos and pictures of Ella. Scott swallowed trying not to think about the last time he was here and how Tessa had a completely different life that filled this house.

 

"Mommy?" called Ella from the family room that the kitchen opened up to. The family room that now contained a giant dollhouse with doll clothes scattered across the floor.

 

Scott followed closely behind Tessa, who smiled at her daughter and placed one of the bags on the kitchen counter. "Do you remember Mommy's friend, Ella?" Tessa said, letting the blanket around her drag slightly on the ground.

 

Ella put down her doll, then waddled right past Tessa to stare up at Scott. "Hello! Did you give us food Mommy won't eat?"

 

Tessa shot her daughter a look.

 

Scott laughed, crouching down to be eye level with her daughter. "Hopefully not. How does chicken fettuccine alfredo sound?"

 

A smile spread across Ella's face. "Do we get bread? Daddy used to make bread with our pasta."

 

"Of course. No Italian meal is complete without garlic bread," Scott said, putting on a brave grin. "And ice cream for dessert."

 

He made eye contact with Tessa, who gave him a grateful look. Tessa's entire body looked exhausted as if she hadn't slept or eaten in days. His heart pounded in his chest, hoping not to overstep his boundaries when he said, "How about you be my assistant chef and let your mother rest?"

 

Ella's face lit up, as she grabbed Scott's hand and attempted to drag him over to the kitchen. "You know I'm better than mommy with food?"

 

Scott started laughing, looking over at Tessa. "Anyone is better than your mother when it comes to cooking if I remember correctly."

 

Tessa shook her head. "Make sure you wash your hands, Angela. I'll grab your apron and the stool." She disappeared around the corner, leaving Scott and Ella in the kitchen.

 

He started unloading the ingredients, making sure to put the double chocolate ice cream in the freezer. Ella hovered in the distance giving Scott a curious look, biting her trembling lip and playing with her hands. "Make sure Mommy eats," Ella said quietly.

 

Scott froze and turned around to look at Ella. Before he had a chance to reply, Tessa came back around the corner with a stool in one hand and a tiny apron in the other. Placing the stool next to the island, she proceeded to tie the apron around Ella wordlessly. Tiredly she looked up at Scott, giving him a small smile and mouthing "thank you."

 

"Go rest, T," Scott mouthed back to her.

 

She gave them both a long look, before walking over to the couch and laying down.

 

Dinner was quiet for the most part, with Ella downing her food (especially the dessert) while Tessa picked around at her plate. He could tell that the sadness was taking a toll on her overall health. She was smiling and laughing with Ella, and taking small bites of her food, and trying to be as happy as possible. It was forced, and Scott knew it would continue being forced for quite some time.

 

"Okay, Ella. How about I get you to bed?" Tessa said after they gathered the dishes to the sink where Scott was quietly cleaning up the mess in the kitchen. "What do we say to Scott for cooking us food and helping you cook?"

 

"Thank you!" Ella said, racing over to hug his leg.

 

It startled him, and he nearly dropped one of the plates he was scrubbing but smiled down at Ella. "You're welcome. Have a good sleep," Scott said back to her.

 

Moments later, Tessa took Ella upstairs leaving Scott alone in the kitchen. He began playing music on his phone while whistling as he wiped down the counters to pass the time. As he started putting other various groceries and treats Tessa loved away in the fridge, he frowned at the dozens of casseroles that stuffed in the refrigerator. Why did they always go to that? Sighing, he began rearranging the fridge to make room for his other things, not aware that Tessa had quietly slipped back downstairs and sat in the bar stools.

 

"Still into country music I see," said Tessa, as Scott shut the door to the fridge. He reached for his phone on the newly cleaned counter and turned down the volume slightly.

 

"Some things never change."

 

She gave him a small smile, fiddling with her hands. "Thank you for this Scott. You didn't need to do any of this for us. You have a job and a wife and probably a family. You don't need to worry about us."

 

Scott paused, eying her carefully to avoid the subject. "Did you know that I have a dog? Kaylie and I got him about two years ago, even though she was completely against it. His name is Rufus and is a Wheaton terrier."

 

Tessa nodded, even though she was confused why he was bringing it up.

 

Scott continued. "No kids, if you're wondering. Just didn't work out—" He paused, shaking his head not wanting to continue. The last thing he needed was to bring up that topic in his life when he was trying to make Tessa feel better. Scott finished cleaning up and washed his hands, before turning off his phone.

 

She stared at him hesitantly, as he began grabbing his keys, wallet, and phone.

"I miss our dinners, with the three of us," whispered Tessa. "You and Mark would always cook up a feast in here, while I would sit at the table and drink wine. I always felt bad that you guys did all the work, but at the same time I knew I would be no help."

 

"I was the better cook in the end though," Scott lightly joked. "Remember when Mark nearly caught the kitchen on fire because he added too much cooking oil?"

 

Tessa let out a low giggle nodding her head. "How could you forget that? He claimed he watched the cooking channel all day and could make us a fancy meal. I think he made you be the sous-chef that day, wanting you to take over his job."

 

"And who put out the fire?" Scott said, walking over to sit next to Tessa at the bar.

 

Her eyes glistened with a mixture of fondness and sadness at the memory. "You, of course."

 

The conversation started to die down, both of them staring into each other's eyes. Eventually he whispered to her that he needed to get back to his parents’, feeling his heart slightly sink the words came out of his mouth. Tessa bit her lip and nodded her head, not wanting him to leave.

 

Neither knew what to say to each other, especially when it came to saying goodbye. She unlocked the front door, letting the cool May air fill the entrance way of her house. Tessa propped herself up against the door, tears on the brink of her eyes at the thought of him leaving. "Scott?"

 

"Yeah?"

 

She paused for a moment, deep in thought. "Um, goodnight. Thank you for dinner." That wasn’t what she actually wanted to say to him.

 

He reached over to grab her hand lightly. "Goodnight, Tess. Try to get some sleep tonight."

 

She nodded her head, letting him slip his hand out of hers. Scott began walking away to his car, his heart aching for her. He didn't want this to become her life; a single-parent who was hurting to the extent that no one else could understand. Every part of him wanted to put himself back in her life, but he didn't know if that was possible at this point. Things had changed between their friendship for sure, but the respect and care they had for each other was still very much intact.

 

Scott got into his car and started backing out of the driveway. He saw Tessa's face in the entrance way to her house, peering out at his car. If things were the same as they used to be, he would have stopped the car and ran inside to crash on her sofa or spare room. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to doing that. Driving away from her London home and soon walking into his parents' house, he quickly climbed into bed still deep in thought about Tessa and Ella.

 

His phone buzzed, interrupting his thoughts, and he saw Tessa's name light up the screen, surprised to hear from her. He couldn't remember the last time they texted each other.

 

_Thank you for making Ella smile tonight._

 

Scott quickly typed in a reply, hit send, and then put his phone on his nightstand. He rubbed his eyes, before placing his hands behind his head to stare up at his ceiling fan. Before he knew it, he fell fast asleep, with the last text he sent to Tessa on his mind.

 

 _Glad to see you smile too. Sleep well, Tess._  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always appreciated and make my day. :)


	3. Maybe This Will Be Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott decides to visit Tessa on her birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for silly mistakes. I didn't want to make anyone wait longer!

Scott stood in the back of the skate shop organizing the new arrivals while humming to the music he blasted from his phone. Even though he came home for a funeral, his parents managed to get him to help out at the skate shop with the shipment. So, Scott found himself at eight in the morning, after already being here the past three hours, starting to feel sluggish. By the time he got back from Tessa's and fell asleep, it was well after midnight, which to him was the middle of his usual bedtime.

 

His work at Gadbois with Marie-France and Patrice had continued making him into an old man with an early bedtime of eight thirty and a wakeup call around four thirty.  Although he enjoyed every part of coaching, this was undoubtedly a downfall leaving his nights and time to see Kaylie very limited. Perhaps that is part of why their marriage failed or at least escalated the situation.

 

The discussions about dividing up the assets between him and Kaylie were about to take place, and he hadn't give it much thought. He wanted the dog, television, and the unique Molson beer fridge--that was graciously gifted after the PyeongChang Olympics. The house, furniture, and other trinkets Kaylie could keep. That didn't matter to him.

 

The back door of the shop opening abruptly interrupted his thoughts about his three yearlong marriage.

 

"Looks like someone is having a party in here!" called Alma, emerging into the room. She walked over to place her warm hand on Scott's back, then discarded her jacket and purse on her desk. "Did everything arrive from the shipment?"

 

Scott looked down at the clipboard, nodding. “Yeah looks like it is all here. I updated the system’s inventory list too while I was at it.”

 

Alma nodded her head, thanking Scott. They stared at each other for several moments, before she sighed and looked down at her hands. “Are you going to avoid the subject?” She asked, with her tongue clicking.

 

He clenched his jaw, placed the clipboard down, and started distracting himself by organizing the already organized skates. “It isn’t working out between us, Mom. What more can I say?”

 

"Scott," Alma sternly replied, causing him to stop in his tracks. "Christmas everything seemed great between you two, and then we learn two months ago that you are getting a divorce?"

 

“I fell out of love with her.  I don’t know what else you want me to say?”

 

She eyed him curiously. “Does this have anything to do with Tessa?”

 

Scott threw his hands aggressively in the air, letting out an exasperated grunt. “I’m the only person left living that knows her. That knows that she is hurting inside when the world thinks that she is okay. She is putting on a brave face for her daughter, and I need to put on the brave face for her."

 

Alma nodded her head slowly, trying to understand what her son was getting at.

 

"Today is her birthday, and I know her daughter doesn't know that it is her mother's birthday. That was Mark’s job to surprise her," said Scott, pausing to push back emotion. "I can't bear the thought of Tessa heating up some shitty leftover casserole while moping around the house all damn day. She doesn't deserve that."

 

“Oh Scott,” said Alma, shaking her head furiously. “She never has truly left you, has she?”

 

He snorted. "Of course not. Just because things have changed between us, doesn't mean that Tessa left my mind. You don't spend twenty-one years together on the ice and stop caring.”

 

Alma opened up her mouth to further press her son, but he quickly interjected.

 

“I don’t love her anymore, at least not like that.” Scott tone rose as he said that, with a hint of bitterness and anger in his statement.

 

Meanwhile, his mother didn’t seem to buy his claim but went with it anyways to quickly subside any tension. “Well, what are you planning on doing for her today?”

 

“I don’t know, but I know that she needs to feel special in some way today.” Scott rubbed the back of his neck, looking at the ground deep in thought. There was a momentary pause, as he took a deep breath releasing his pent-up emotions. "I'll never come close to being as great Mark ever was, but I know that I won't leave her today unless she wants me to."

 

Alma pinched the bridge of her nose, attempting to take in everything Scott said. “Don’t ever compare yourself to Mark, Scott. You know her just as well as Mark did, maybe even better.”

 

“Maybe so, but it didn’t work out for us in the end." Scott ran a shaky hand through his hair. His past relationship with Tessa was still a sore spot for him, primarily when he still wasn't sure what happened. He dreamed a future with her, but she saw other things. A future that didn't involve him.

 

“Perhaps, but you never know what the future holds,” Alma replied, a twinkle in her eye.

 

He let out a short laugh. “Yeah, my future certainly didn’t involve being fatherless and headed for a divorce.” Scott shook his head. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m destined for a life of being single.”

 

Alma smacked Scott in the arm, giving him a look. “Don’t be ridiculous, dear. There is someone out there for you.”

 

Scott rolled his eyes.

 

“Scott, don’t act like that.”

 

“At one point I saw my entire future laid out before me with Tessa, then it changed, and I saw it once again with Kaylie. Two women that I fell completely in love for didn’t work out.” His voice dropped on the last sentence, as he tried swallowing away the sadness. “I don’t think I’ll find that great love again.”

 

Alma gave her son a sad smile, rubbing his upper back. “Have faith, Scott. It is never too late.”

 

He nodded his head, then looked down at the clipboard one last time to check it for the fifth time to drop the conversation. The last thing Scott needed was to dwell on this again. The silence was upon the mother-son duo, as they began silently finishing up the order and getting ready to open up the shop. Scott continued blasting his obnoxious music, which his mother hated while singing along off-key to it. It wasn't until it crept to nine, that he decided to send something to Tessa.

 

_Happy birthday, kiddo!_

 

Tessa responded within a minute.

_Thank you! Also thank you again for last night. Completely unnecessary but know that you made me and Ella's night. When do you leave for Montreal?_

He quickly returned a witty response, hoping to make her feel better.

 

_Ouch, someone already wanting me gone I see. I leave tomorrow._

Another reply.

 

_Of course not! Don’t be ridiculous. Safe travels back tomorrow. Thank you for being here for me._

 

Scott looked up from his phone, to meet his mother’s eyes.  “Do you want me to work the morning hours to give you a chance to go through the accounts and make sure it balances?”

 

Alma smiled at him, ushering at Scott to leave. “Get out of here and make Tessa’s day a little brighter.”

 

* * *

 

 

"How _do you want to spend your birthday?" asked Tessa carrying a glass of red wine. She joined Scott at her kitchen table where he was already sipping his beer with a hot plate of chicken, rice, and some green veggies in front of them._

_As soon as Tessa sat down, Scott began cutting up his chicken and shrugging his shoulders. “Just with you, I don’t need anything else,” He said smiling at her, before popping a piece of chicken into his mouth._

_Tessa returned the smile, sipped a glass of wine, and proceeded to eat her meal. After chewing her chicken, she nodded her head eagerly. "Scott, you have outdone yourself again. What would I do without you?"_

_“Starve,” He said with a laugh. “You know I’ll always cook for you, Tess.”_

_Her eyes broke the gaze, as she smiled down at her plate. “Seriously, do you not want to do anything for your birthday? As your girlfriend, I feel obligated to at least do something.”_

_“I can think of lots of things,” He said wiggling his eyes._

_Tessa smirked and took a sip of her wine, her thoughts flying, and choosing to ignore his statement. “How about we go to the cottage for your birthday? The lake is the perfect temperature, and it'll be good to relax before the Thank You tour chaos—"_

_Scott reached over to grab her hand, his warm fingers making tiny circles on the top of her hand causing Tessa to lose her train of thought. “That sounds perfect, kiddo.”_

_She returned the smile. “Really?”_

_“That is all I want, T. Just us.” Scott gave her his warm, dazzling smile._

_“Just Us,” Tessa echoed._

* * *

 

Scott knocked on Tessa’s door within an hour after he left the shop (more like kicking the door since both hands contained almond milk cappuccinos from Starbucks). He didn’t know what her go to coffee order was anymore but figured he couldn't go wrong by just choosing something he knew she liked. For all Scott knew, Tessa could have had her morning cup of coffee by now, but it was worth a chance. Besides from what he could remember, Tessa could drink an entire pot of coffee in the morning.

 

He heard little footsteps patter down the hallway, disrupting his thoughts, before Ella's face was pressed up against the window next to the door. A smile spread across her face, as her jade eyes lit up. She was the spitting image of Tessa. "Scott!" She shouted.

 

She unlocked the door and wobbled opening it up. Ella was in her pajamas, with her curly hair wild and untamed, holding her rabbit by one of her arms in her free hand.

 

“Hello, Ella and Sir Bunchkins, how are you doing today?” said Scott, kneeling down to be level with Ella.

 

Ella giggled. “We are good. Mom said we could have chocolate for breakfast.”

 

“Chocolate, eh? Sounds like something your mother would eat too.”

 

Before Ella could respond, a frantic Tessa was running down the hallway shouting. She dressed in one of her silky bathrobes, bare feet, and her hair thrown up in a towel. "Ella! What did I tell you about opening the door to strangers?" She quickly ran towards Ella, snatching her up into her arms, before freezing when she saw Scott kneeling down with two Starbucks coffee cups in his hands.

 

“Morning, Tessa,” He said with a crooked smile, standing up.

 

Tessa’s face flushed a bright red, as she looked at Ella. Taking a hand to start taming down Ella’s messy curls, she made eye contact with Scott. “Sc—Scott,” Tessa stuttered out, bewildered why he would be visiting again.

 

"I was heading back from helping Mom out at the shop to get Starbucks, and I figured you deserved a little treat for your birthday," He stated, raising one of the coffee cups. "Almond milk cappuccino. Not sure if you drink these anymore, but you know I could never get your coffee order right."

 

Tessa bit her lip and smiled at him. “Do you want to come in?” She continued stroking Ella’s hair, who was curiously watching Scott from Tessa’s arms.

 

“As long as I’m not intruding,” Scott quipped.

 

She opened up the door wider and placed Ella on the ground, letting her happily jump up and down. Scott offered Tessa the coffee, in which she graciously took as Scott came in and took off his shoes. She eyed him carefully, before gently shutting the door.

 

Ella happily ran over to Scott, giving him a dazzling smile as her wide and eager eyes stared up at him. “Do I get anything?”

 

“Angela,” Tessa said sternly.

 

Scott ignored Tessa's comment and grinned, pulling out a small Tim Horton's from his jacket's pocket. He looked over at Tessa momentarily, with her face slightly stunned. "As a matter, in fact, I do. Do you like vanilla doughnuts with sprinkles?"

 

Ella's face lit up entirely, as she grabbed the bag from Scott and enthusiastically nodded. "They are my favorite," She beamed. "Thank you, Scott! You're the best!" She hugged his leg before she quickly ran down the hallway.

 

“Ella, you’re eating that at the table!” hollered Tessa, as Ella ran down the hallway with her rabbit dragging on the floor. She turned to face Scott, shuffling uneasily back and forth on her feet. “How did you know those were her favorite?”

 

Scott gave Tessa a long look. "Uh, last night when she was helping me with dinner she told me about her favorite treats. She mentioned this specific doughnut from Tim's, and I saw it and—" He paused, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't mean to overstep my boundaries, T."

 

She reached out to touch his arm gently. "You aren’t. Thank you for that and the coffee. You don't need to do any of this for us."

 

“You deserve something that will make you happy on your birthday,” said Scott, just loud enough so only Tessa could hear. The glimmer of tension between the two softened, as they both stared at each other. Both of Tessa’s hands wrapped around the coffee cup, as she glanced down at it.

 

“One of my many coffee orders . . . how on Earth did you remember?”

 

“Well when you mess up on Ellen in front of millions of people, you’re bound to remember that,” He grinned.

 

Tessa looked at him with that same twinkle in her eye that she always possessed. Momentarily, it felt like things had never changed between them or that at least Mark hadn't passed away. The flicker of happiness didn't last long, as she continued red and puffy eyes looked down at her bare feet. "I needed something to get me through today, and this will do the trick."

“I’m sorry I intruded on your morning,” He said looking up and down at her outfit.

 

She flushed and instinctively crossed her arms over her robe, making sure nothing was peeking through. “Ella was preoccupied with a movie and the dollhouse, so I decided to take a bath and pamper myself. At least be able to only worry about me for an hour. I was just about to dry my hair when I heard her open up the door."

 

He chuckled. "Adventurous and brave little thing, eh?"

 

Tessa laughed, then turned her sad eyes towards Scott. “She gets that from Mark. He always took her to parks and explored off the trails with her. It was important to him to inspire Ella to explore and use her imagination.”

 

“She’ll live up to that,” Scott reassured her. “I can already see it now.”

 

They proceeded to walk into the formal living room, which still had the same pristine white sofas. Scott couldn’t help but wonder how Tessa managed to toddler proof this room. There literally wasn’t a speck of stains anywhere. They sat on opposite couches, with Tessa drinking her coffee slowly, not seeming to care that she was in just a robe and a hair towel. After all this time, they still had that sense of comfort with each other.

 

* * *

 

_"Honestly Tess, I can drive us to the cottage," said Scott, as he put both of their weekend bags in the trunk of Tessa's car. "My birthday isn't until Sunday anyway."_

_Tessa shut the door leading into the house from the garage, shaking her head. She clutched her car keys in her hands, while she walked over to the driver's side door. "No, this entire weekend is about you so that you can relax. Besides, the last time you drove to the cottage you got yourself a speeding ticket."_

_Scott shook his head, slamming the trunk of the car shut. "I was only going twenty kilometers over, which is nothing compared to the other assholes on the road." He walked over to the passenger's door, immediately climbing in and putting on his seatbelt. "You got pulled over too if I recall."_

_She started the car and quickly glanced down at her phone, before backing out from the garage. “Yeah, but I didn’t get ticketed.” She reached up to close the garage door, before continuing to back up from the driveway._

_“Because you’re attractive and always have a chance to talk. I never even have a small opportunity.”_

_Tessa smiled. “Maybe because I’m very calm when they approach the vehicle. I suppress my temper, unlike you,” Tessa teased. She reached over to grab her phone off her lap and held it out to Scott. “Okay, Moir, pick out the music. Preferably something we both like.”_

_“Tragically Hip it is,” He said, with a big grin across his face._

_Soon enough the duo was singing along (really off-key) to the beloved Canadian band. Tessa giggled and bounced back and forth in her seat, keeping her eyes on the road, as Scott made thrashing movements that would suggest to other cars it was some head banging music. Both were calm and utterly relaxed around each other, not caring that they looked like idiots to other people at the stoplights._

* * *

 

Ella soon joined Tessa and Scott in the living room, eagerly jumping on the couch next to Tessa. Tessa didn’t even flinch at the sudden movement and smiled down at her daughter. Ella immediately curled up next to Tessa, resting her head on Tessa's shoulder. Out of instinct, Tessa began stroking Ella's hair and playing with the untamed curls.

 

“So, work is going well for you, Scott?” Tessa asked.

 

Scott played around with his empty coffee cup, nodding his head. “Yeah, got a few new junior teams both from Montreal. Marie and Patch have been adamant about growing their school even more, maybe bringing some more retired coaches.”

 

“Do you still do the technical work?”

 

“Yeah, sometimes I assist Marie or Sam in choreographing. When I’m not at the rink, I’m watching the practice videos and taking notes. It has essentially become my life.”

 

Tessa nodded, giving him a small smile. “Makes you more grateful for everything our coaches did for us, doesn’t it?”

 

Scott returned the smile. “Yeah, it really does.”

 

“How is Kaylie doing? Has work been busy for her?” asked Tessa.

 

Before he had a chance to answer, let alone come up with a reply, Ella interrupted the conversation. She let out a yawn, snuggling closer to Tessa. "Mommy, can we go to the park now? Please?" She asked, pouting her lower lip and widening her eyes into a puppy dog look.

 

“I can’t go to the park in this,” said Tessa, playfully touching Ella’s nose. “Let me get ready first.”

 

“That takes forever!” Ella wailed, throwing her hands in the air, immediately causing Scott to bust out laughing. Tessa gave Scott a look, while Ella smiled at Scott. “Can Scott come?”

 

Tessa looked over at Scott, who was shrugging his shoulders.

 

“I don’t have anything else to do today, so it sounds like fun,” He stated, momentarily making eye contact with Tessa for approval and causing an excited shriek to leave Ella. She jumped off of the couch and ran over to Scott, placing her hands on his knees. “Someone has energy from that doughnut, eh?”

 

“Uh huh! Thank you again,” said Ella, enthusiasm pouring out of her voice. Her curls bounced around, as she nodded her head eagerly.

 

Tessa watched the two hesitantly, before standing up and crossing her arms over her robe. “Give me twenty minutes, okay?” Her heart began to ache, and she quickly excused herself from the room before either could reply.

 

As she walked up the stairs to her bedroom, she could hear murmurs of Scott’s voice and giggles emerge from Ella. She paused at the top of the staircase, tears welling in her eyes.  “Wish you were here still, Mark,” whispered Tessa.

 

* * *

 

Tessa emerged from the upstairs slowly, to see Ella sitting on the floor while Scott helped her tie her shoes. She paused and smiled at the sight, with a pang of guilt running through her chest. Mark. Would he be angry that Scott was doing the things he usually would do? Would he be happy that someone was there looking out for them? She shook away the nonsense from her thoughts, knowing that this was no big deal. This was a way to keep Ella content and help Tessa out. Scott was being kind and being there for her, while everyone thought she was okay.

 

She stood at the staircase, neither Scott or her daughter looking up. She leaned slightly over the railing, listening in on Scott teaching a four-year-old how to tie her shoes. A daunting task, considering Tessa and Mark had been trying to show her for several weeks, but it was Scott. He had a way to make things appear so effortless, even if they were challenging to learn.

 

"Next step you might like since you and Sir Bunchkins are the best of pals," said Scott, gesturing to the rabbit propped against the front entry table. "So, with each lace make a bunny ear like this." His hands quickly made a loop to demonstrate to Ella.

 

She copied him on the other lace, gazing at him for confidence. 

 

“Perfect! You’re going to be a pro in no time,” said Scott giving her a grin and then a high five with his free hand.

 

Tessa’s lips curved upward, then continued her descent down the stairs. She cleared her throat, then pretended that she didn’t eavesdrop on the conversation. “Alright Ella, I’m ready. Do you have your shoes on?”

 

"I'm learning how to put my shoes on, Mommy. Scott is teaching me," beamed Ella. She started demonstrating what Scott her, only slipping up in the end by the laces not being pulled tight enough together. "See Mommy; I almost did it."

 

"Let me finish that up for you," said Scott, quickly finishing off both of Ella's shoes. He checked to make sure they were double knotted, knowing how kids tended for their shoes to come untied easily. He looked over at Tessa, who stood there silently with a mixture of emotion. "Everything alright, Tess?"

 

She nodded slightly stiffly. “Yeah, just tired that is all. How about we get going?”

 

Soon enough the three of them were walking towards the park. It was a beautiful spring day in London, with not a single cloud in the sky. Ella was holding Tessa’s hand, swinging it back and forth, while talking about the swings and slides she would be going down at the park. Scott strolled silently next to Ella, taking in the neighborhood that he knew well.

 

When things were going great with Tessa, they would often take long evening walks around the neighborhood. It was a way for them to disconnect from their phones, families, and friends, and be with each other. They used to talk about getting a dog one day or redoing the backyard, but Tessa always was adamant about how she wanted natural plants. He would tease her about what she can do around the house, while she would mock his voice when she answered. It was their paradise.

 

His thoughts from the past were quickly interrupted when he felt Ella's small hand find his own. The way her hand found his felt like it was out of instinct as if this was what her, Mark, and Tessa would do when they walked to and from the park. Scott's eyes alarmingly found Tessa's, as he silently asked her if this was okay. Mark had only been dead for a little over a week, and the last thing he wanted was to overstep his boundaries farther than he already had.

 

Tessa silently told him with her eyes that it was okay. They continued to walk in silence, with answering one of Ella's questions or listening to her sing a song from one of her kids' shows. Tessa didn't make much eye contact with Scott, even though he kept looking over at her to make sure she was okay with all of this. He knew she had mixed feelings, just from her expression. Except, she would never admit it to him.

 

The park came into view, and it was empty, which caused Ella to pout. "I wanted my friends here," she said. "We play together."

 

Tessa squeezed Ella’s hands. “We can have fun together, sweetheart. What do you want to do first?”

 

“Can we do swings?” Ella said.

 

Tessa nodded, causing Ella to drop her hand from Scott’s grip and dragged Tessa towards the swings. Scott hovered in the distance, smiling at the giggles emerging from Ella as Tessa helped her up on the swing. As Tessa began pushing Ella on the swing, Ella started squealing with joy while waving at Scott. He waved back at her, his heart suddenly feeling full.

 

This little girl was already starting to fill Scott’s heart. In many ways it felt wrong, Mark _just_ passed away, but something was pushing him towards Ella. She was smart, compassionate, and fun; the perfect combination of Mark and Tessa’s personalities. If only she didn’t have to live a life without a father figure. He swallowed back his emotions, letting the forming tears stop forming in his eyes. He couldn’t be thinking like this. Ella was not his.

 

Ella eventually got off the swings and started wandering on the playset, causing Tessa to walk over to Scott and hover where Scott stood and observed. The pair stood there silently, watching Ella explore on the playset. Tessa glanced over at Scott, adjusting her sunglasses while shifting her weight awkwardly.

 

“This girl needs so much love,” whispered Tessa. “I’m scared to be both parents.”

 

“You can do anything you put your mind to, kiddo,” Scott countered. “Since when do you doubt yourself?”

 

She let out a long sigh, running her shaky hand through her hair. “Since things changed between us.”

 

They momentarily exchanged looks, both of their hearts sinking.

 

Before Scott could find the words to respond, Tessa’s phone started ringing.  Startled, she looked down at the caller ID and glanced at Scott. "It is work. I guess they are wondering when I'll be returning. Can you watch her while I take this?"

 

He nodded, then watched Tessa walk away from the park to take the phone call. Scott’s gaze returned to Ella and saw her little feet dangling from the top of the playset. Smiling, Scott walked over to where she was sitting to gaze up at the innocent face of hers.

 

"May I join you?" Scott said as he hovered on top of her.

 

She didn’t reply but moved over.

 

He crouched down beside her, letting his legs dangle. Instinctively, he wrapped an arm around Ella and pulled her close to his side. They both stared out at Tessa, who was pacing back and forth on her phone. Ella started sniveling all of a sudden, causing Scott to look alarmingly down at her.

 

“Ella, don’t cry. Your mom will be back to play with you soon.” Scott began rubbing small circles on her back and letting her bury her face into his shirt.

 

“It’s not that,” She said, her bottom lip quivering.

 

“Then what is it?”

 

Ella rubbed her teary eyes, causing more tears to fall from them. “Daddy used to chase me. That won’t happen again.”

 

Scott felt like his entire body fell, as the words hit him hard. Choking back his own emotion, he continued soothing Ella. His hand made his way up to her soft curls, as she started sobbing. Her hands wrapped around his waist and her head became buried entirely in his side.

 

“You may not be able to see him, but your daddy is there,” whispered Scott.

 

Ella looked up momentarily at him, blinking her teary eyes to let more tears cascade down her face. With his free hand, Scott began wiping them away while continuing to stroke her hair. “Your Daddy is up there, watching you and missing you.” Scott pointed towards the sky, then glanced down to see Ella’s eyes wandering up there. “Your daddy is always with you Ella. I know he loves you and wishes he was chasing you around.”

 

“Mommy says I won’t see Daddy again for a long time,” sighed Ella dropping her arms away from Scott’s waist and sitting more upright. “I just have Mommy now.”

 

Scott shook his head. “That is not true. You have Grandma Kate and Grandma Carey, as well as all of your aunts and uncles. Remember Aunt Liz and Aunt Jordan? Those are some of Mommy and Daddy’s closest family members.”

 

“And you,” said Ella. Her green eyes made contact with his hazel ones, wanting reassurance from him.

 

Letting go of his breath, he was inadvertently holding; he nodded his head. "I'll always be here for you and your mommy, Ella. I promise." He felt Ella's body relax more into his side and her lips curl upwards. "Now, I know I'm not your daddy, but how about I chase you?"

 

Ella's eyes lit up, eagerly nodded. She scrambled to get up, unable to avoid Scott tickling her sides, before she quickly went down the slide. He gave her time to start running away before he went down the slide and chasing after her with shrieks and giggles escaping her mouth.

 

Tessa jumped hearing the shrieks with her body in a full defensive mode, before calming to see Scott chasing Ella around the playground. She quickly ended her call, before smiling and went over to join them. Soon enough Scott was chasing both Tessa and Ella around the playground, all three of them laughing. At a point, Scott had Ella slung over his shoulders and spinning her around, causing a huge smile to spread across Ella’s face (Tessa even managed to get a few photos).

 

Maybe this would be okay after all.

 

* * *

 

A couple of hours later, Tessa and Scott found themselves walking home from the park with Ella fast asleep in Scott's arms. Her chin was rested on his shoulders, as his arms were tight around her waist and legs making sure not to drop her. He could feel his shirt dampening at the slight bit of drool escaping Ella's mouth, but it didn't bother him one bit.

 

"You didn't have to carry her home," said Tessa breaking the silence and stealing a glance.

 

Scott kept his gaze forward. “I don’t mind, T, really. I would do it for my nieces and nephews, so of course, I would do it for her.”

 

Tessa bit her lip, nodding her head. “Scott—”

 

"Did I do something wrong?" He said nervously. Ella seemed to naturally slip into his arms, as the exhaustion from the chasing game started to kick in. Within seconds of hugging Scott and thanking him for playing, she began to drift off to sleep, and without hesitation he picked her up and held her close, wordlessly leaving the park. He couldn't read Tessa's expression, for once, and continuously worried he overstepped his boundaries.

 

She shook her head. "No, of course, you didn't. I'm just happy that Ella is comfortable around you and had a great day."

 

“But are you having a better day?”

 

“Better than I thought,” smiled Tessa.

 

They made their way up Tessa’s driveway, with Ella still passed out on Scott’s shoulder. He shifted his weight, as Tessa grabbed her keys to unlock the front door but continued holding Ella close to him. They stepped inside the cool house, both equally sweaty and hot from the game of chase.

 

“Do you need to wake her?” asked Scott.

 

Tessa looked at her sleeping daughter, then shook her head. “No, let her sleep. Ella usually naps after lunch, but I think after her excitement she needs this sleep.” She reached her hand over and stroked the back of Ella’s head, with a huge smile spread across her face.

 

Scott strained his neck to look at Ella’s peaceful face. “She’s so innocent and protected from the world, eh?”

 

“She really is,” whispered Tessa. “Do you mind if you lay her down in her room? I can show you where it is.”

 

“Not at all. Lead the way, Tutu.”

 

They walked up the stairs slowly, with Scott making sure not to shift Ella too much to wake her. He walked down the familiar hallway, taking in a breath as he walked past Tessa's bedroom. Scott couldn't even start counting the number of nights he had found himself lying in bed next to her, feeling the warmth of her body pressed up against him. Scott shook those thoughts away when he entered Ella's pink princess room.

 

Tessa pulled down the blankets from Ella's bed, as well as pushed the canopy that engulfed the bed, allowed Scott to bend over and gently place Ella in the bed. Her arm reached up to clutch his shirt, preventing him from standing upright. Scott shook his head and let out a low chuckle, while Tessa stood next to him smiling and watching him gently pry Ella's hands off his shirt.

 

Instead of watching the sweet moment lay out before her, something that caught Tessa's eyes which immediately diverted her attention away from Ella. Tessa Virtue was always an observant person that paid attention to small details everywhere, not to mention that her twenty years with Scott made her notice everything about him. Her mind had been elsewhere for the past week but somehow managed to come back momentarily.

 

Scott Moir did not have his wedding band on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't even begin to describe how much I have fallen in love with Ella as a character. I'll try to get the next chapter up faster! This one took awhile due to life and also carefully mapping out this story. The answers to your questions will be coming, but this story will be a journey. Hope you stick with me on it!
> 
> Thank you to my lovely friends who will listen and provide advice about this story. Thank you for the support with your kudos and comments.
> 
>  
> 
> As always, comments are lovely! They make my day and I love hearing your thoughts. :)


	4. I Just Want You Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott returns to Montreal and deals with the impending divorce.

Chapter 4: I Just Want You Happy

 

Tessa hovered in the distance, her eyes wide, as Scott turned away from Ella’s bed. Why was he not wearing his ring? Thoughts raced through her head, playing out the different scenarios, not noticing the arched eyebrows and pursed lips on Scott when he turned around to face her. A nervous hand went through his hair, with his shirt lifting up slightly to reveal his toned stomach, causing Tessa to become even more flustered.

 

“What is going on in that head of yours?” asked Scott. He tried to play off Tessa’s sudden change in behavior, but there was tightness in his tone.

 

“We shouldn’t wake her,” Tessa countered.

 

Scott agreed and they both quietly left Ella’s room, with Tessa’s gaze fixed on her sleeping daughter. Smiling, she gently shut the door to see Scott leaning against the wall.  “I should get going soon,” said Scott. “I’m sure you have plans with your family later today for your birthday and I—”

 

She wasn’t completely listening to what he had to say, with her thoughts still swirling about Kaylie and his marriage. It could have been that he took off his ring for something and forgot to put it back on. It could be that simple, right? He would tell her if something major happened. At least that is what she thought.

 

 “How is Kaylie?” Tessa blurted out, with her hand immediately reaching to cover her mouth. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to just blurt it out like that. I don’t know what came over me.” Tessa sheepishly placed her hand on the back of her neck, feeling the heat from her embarrassment.

 

His eyes widened initially, but then immediately softened as he calmly replied. “She is doing well, work has kept her busy.”

 

Tessa nodded. “I’m sure you’re ready to get back and see her.”

 

A blank expression went across Scott’s face, as he shrugged and started the descent down the wooden stairs. “I’m used to not being around her much, with work and everything,” He let out a long breathe, filled with tension.

 

She followed him wordlessly down the stairs towards the front door. His hands dug in his jean pockets, while Tessa played with her hair and nibbling on her bottom lip. The two stared at each other for a long time, with neither knowing how to say goodbye to each other. Goodbyes never used to be _this_ painfully awkward. It hadn’t been this way since Tessa left for her first surgery on her legs.

 

“Scott—” started Tessa, immediately pausing. She wanted to ask about the missing wedding band, she wanted to know why he lingered around well after the funeral. She wanted to know why he continued to wear his heart on his sleeve after everything that happened between them. But now wasn’t the time, she couldn’t ask that.

 

“Tess,” He stated back, his hazel eyes finding her green ones.

 

“Call me the next time you are home?” She said, trying to dissipate any hint of desperation. She didn’t fathom why she was suddenly feeling some sort of longing for him to stay, but he had become a security blanket of sorts for her the past few days. He was the only person left on Earth that knew her, that could still read her extremely well.

 

He blinked at her, the slowly nodded his head. “I promise. Are you going to be okay?” Scott’s hand hovered over the front door handle, eying her carefully.

 

She blinked away emotion, in an attempt to mask the pain, she felt from Mark’s passing. Tessa’s head bobbed up and down, her light curls in her dark tresses bouncing. “We’ll be fine,” Tessa reassured him.

 

“I asked if you will be okay?”

 

Tessa shrugged her shoulders. “Eventually.”

 

Scott nodded his head, opening up the door and stepping out on the steps. Before he even had a chance to step down, he felt the familiar warmth of Tessa’s hand find his own. He turned around to see tears welling up in the corner of her eyes.

 

“Scott, thank you for this. I don’t know how I would have gotten through this if it wasn’t for you.” Tessa’s bottom lip trembled, as she gave Scott’s hand a tight squeeze.

 

“Oh Tess,” He sighed, pulling her into his arms and giving her a tight hug, “don’t do this to me. You know I hate it when you cry.”

 

Her face became buried in his neck, as she let a small cry escape her, letting his body melt into her. Scott sighed and buried his own face in her hair, that still smelled like strawberries. Before he could come up with an adequate way to respond, she suppressed her cry, and pulled back to look at the ground. Her delicate hands were wiping away tears, as she regained her composure to look back up at him. Both remained close to each other, feeling each other’s warm breath.

 

“Send Marie-France and Patrice my best regards,” said Tessa. 

 

“I will. Happy birthday again, Virtch” He leaned in and gave her a brief kiss on the cheek then turned his back and started walking away, the feeling of her cheek still lingering on his lips.

 

Scott sensed that Tessa was standing with the door wide open, watching him get into his car. As he swung his door open he paused to turn around and meet Tessa’s gaze. “You know that I’m always a phone call or plane ride away, right?” Scott hollered. “Don’t lose touch again, Tess.”

 

“It works both ways,” She responded coyly, the side of her lip twitching.

 

* * *

_“Another Molson, please,” Scott said, walking up to the bar tender._

_Tessa’s wedding had been beyond beautiful, as one would expect, and took place in a small, private space on the outskirts of London. Now that the wedding traditions were out of the way, with Scott even managing to catch the garter, the wedding was in full party mode. The bride was dancing and laughing with Mark and her friends, while Scott chose to take the time to hover over to the bar._

_One hand was buried in his pocket, as his other arm supported the lean on the bar holding the new bottle of beer. His gaze briefly met Tessa’s, who was attempting to not fall flat on her face in her princess-like gown. Not only did she look physically beautiful, her shy, introvert heart was shining today. She danced with every single one of her guests, took time to talk to every single person that attended the wedding, all while having a great time._

_Except Scott wasn’t on her list to dance or talk with him extensively._

_Scott hadn’t taken offense to it, considering they had discussed this. The last thing they wanted to do was dance in that perfect, natural rhythm, and get into their own world when no one was around because it was Tessa’s wedding where **everyone** would be watching, questioning, and wondering why it wasn’t them getting married. They had buried the romantic aspect of their relationship quite some time ago and it was better now to keep it that way._

_Mark was a good guy, a friend to Scott even, and someone that Scott could see Tessa being with. Scott gave Tessa his blessing and meant everything great thing he said about Mark. She was radiating happiness, which was all he ever wanted for Tessa. And he was okay, with the breakup, her moving on, and her moving potentially starting a family with Mark. It wasn’t the future Scott once saw after they won the Olympics, but things change. He had moved on._

_“Didn’t expect to see one of the groomsmen brooding at a bar alone,” said a girl with long blonde hair. Her words came out slightly slurred, but still regained her overall composure and coherency, as she took her place next to the bar._

_Scott let out a laugh, taking a sip of his beer. “Not brooding, just thinking,” He said giving her a smile and making eye contact with her blue eyes._

_“What can I get you, ma’am?” asked the bar tender to the girl._

_“Just water for me, please,” She said, before turning her attention back to Scott. She gave him a small smile, then shook her head. “It is an open bar, so you should be drinking and not thinking.”_

_Scott laughed, looking down at his beer. “I am drinking, but I don’t really drink like that anymore. Had to learn a lot of self-control after I went through a phase in my twenties.”_

_The girl nodded her head. “I know, I remember hearing about it from my friend Grace.” He gave her a look, causing her to blush. “Sorry, I promise if I was sober that wouldn’t have come out as weird.”_

_He laughed. “Don’t worry about it. So, you know who I am, does that mean I am privileged to know your name and how you know Tess?” Scott quickly broke eye contact to see Tessa and Mark dancing closely to each other, swallowing before glancing over at the girl._

_“Kaylie,” the girl responded, taking a sip of her water. “I’m here with my date who is a friend of Mark’s, but somehow I lost him on the dance floor.” A small, intoxicated giggle escaped her lips._

_Scott smiled, then extended his right hand out to her. She shyly reached out to grab his, giving him a firm shake. “It is nice to meet you, Kaylie.”_

_“Nice to meet you too.”_

_Little did he know, this was only the beginning._

* * *

 

As soon as Scott claimed his luggage at the Montreal airport, he proceeded to grab his car, not bothering to even look at his phone. His plane from Toronto had been delayed to Montreal, making it tight to get to the office to meet with the lawyers. A part of him was irritated that Kaylie would schedule this meeting the morning he returned from London, but he knew not to even bring it up to her.

 

He was about halfway to the meeting place, Scott hit the morning rush hour traffic. Swearing at the top of his lungs he flung his head to the back of the seat, after his car came to a complete stop.

 

“Great, fucking great,” He muttered, his hand grazing the bottom of his chin.

 

Scott reached out his arm to flick over the radio station for the traffic, nervously glancing at the clock. He had fifteen minutes and who knew how soon the traffic would clear up.

 

_“. . . expected delays are up to thirty minutes due to an accident . . . “_

 

He ran a hand through his hair, tapping the steering wheel aimlessly and trying to breathe. Usually the irritation he felt when dealing with traffic was only temporary, but today he felt more on edge than usual. Perhaps it was pushing the divorce a step further, figuring out who gets what and how their small fortune would be divided up. In all honesty, he didn’t really care how the money and other items were divided. He just wanted it over with.

 

Scott continued to be stopped at a standstill when his phone vibrated. Picking it up from the cup holder he quickly glanced at the preview, seeing it was a picture message from Tessa. Ella’s smile and joy covered his screen, with herself surrounded by several small boxes of dolls. The joy seemed to radiate out of the screen, causing him to smile and forget about the traffic.

 

The brokenness he saw in that family, especially Tessa, made him realize this little girl needed to keep smiling in order to help Tessa heal. So, he ordered a few toys for Ella on a whim the other day, after learning about her favorite dolls and what was on her wish list. Scott fully intended for it to be an anonymous gift, but Tessa must have connected the dots. She was still brilliant; that would never change.

 

_Your kindness is impeccable even after everything that has happened between us, Scott. I don’t even know how to begin to thank you for keeping me and Ella sane through this challenging time. Hope your travels back to Montreal went smoothly. Send my best to Kaylie. –T_

Scott grinned down at the photo, zooming in on Ella’s gleeful expression. His mind became so immersed in the photo, that he hadn’t noticed that the traffic started picking up again. Cars were honking at him causing his phone to fall into his lap and his foot to gently hit the gas. A deep red hue creeped up his neck, as he shyly looked away from the cars giving him a hard time. The picture and message from Tessa consumed the thoughts, during the angsty ones about the divorce meeting, into happy ones. At least there was someone out there smiling.

 

When he had a chance, he quickly typed in a response to Tessa.

 

_The past doesn’t change the amount of care and love I have for you, Tessa. You and Ella deserve everything you want in life. What I did was nothing._

Within thirty seconds of Scott’s reply to Tessa, another text message came in. Looking down at his phone and smiling, wondering how they were still each other’s biggest supporters after everything that happened in the past. He truly did have the greatest twenty years skating with his best friend, the person that knew him as well as she knew herself.

 

_You deserve everything you want too., Scott_

 

~~

 

_The next time he saw Kaylie, she was single, having fun, and not looking for anyone. Several months passed since Tessa’s wedding and he was in Toronto for the night after doing a puck drop at the Leaf’s game. After a celebratory win at the Air Canada Centre, him and some friends navigated towards one of the local hotspot bars downtown._

_Kaylie spotted him first, coming up behind him at the crowded bar. Her blonde hair had been cut to her shoulders and was lightly curled, while she wore a little black dress. She looked absolutely stunning and subtly sexy, especially when her bright white smile spread across her face when they made eye contact._

_“Funny seeing you here,” Kaylie beamed. “By the looks of it you just got done at the hockey game.” She looked up and down at his oversized Leaf’s jersey, that obnoxiously stood out in the crowd considering most guys were dressed in a button-down shirt._

_Scott laughed, putting one arm around her to pull her into a hug. “Puck drop. Apparently, the general public is still interested in me even though I don’t skate anymore.” He looked at her as they pulled away from the hug. “Let me buy you a drink.”_

_Kaylie gave him a nod. “I’d love that.”_

_The rest of the night they spent sitting at a table talking about everything from television shows to what makes them happy every day. They stopped ordering drinks at some point, both enjoying each other’s company and sober thoughts. The strange thing was, they were connecting so easily. Both understood the importance of work and struggling to find that balance between work, family, and personal life. She loved sports, especially hockey and baseball, and was always eager to explore the natural wonders of the world. He knew he wanted to see more of her._

_Scott walked her back to her hotel room that night, seeing that she was in town for a few days. His hands were dug in his pockets, as they walked down the hallway towards her room, but still maintaining close proximity. He didn’t want to rush this, especially when he saw potential._

_They were laughing and having a great conversation, with Kaylie pausing at her hotel door and awkwardly found his eyes. “I’m not the type of girl who will sleep with a guy after barely getting to know him,” said Kaylie, fidgeting with her hands._

_Scott let out a laugh, slightly stunned at the bold comment from Kaylie. “I honestly wasn’t even thinking that. I’m not that type of guy either, but I will say I would like to see you again.”_

_“I would like that too,” She replied._

_That very same night he kissed her, sweetly and softly, before walking away from the hotel room. When their lips met he felt something, a feeling that she was going to be the one he married. The mental connection was undeniable, and the physical connection had come up unexpectedly. Her lips left a sensation, that gave him butterflies, a feeling he hadn’t felt since he last kissed Tessa. He always imagined his future with Tessa, even after they broke up, but now he just saw Kaylie._

* * *

 

“You’re late,” Sara sharply said under her breath, yanking Scott’s arm down the hallway towards the room where Kaylie and her lawyer, Steve, sat.

 

There was a hint of red spread across his cheeks, accompanied with messy hair, and a wrinkled dress shirt that was becoming untucked. He attempted to smooth down and re-tuck his dress shirt, before Sara opened up the door, but inevitably gave up when he realized that this was going to do no good. Flustered, he walked in the door in which Kaylie and Steve shook, to shake hands with both Scott and Sara.

 

“Scott,” said Kaylie politely, smoothing her skirt before she sat down. “Happy you made it back in time for this meeting.” Her voice was stoic, and Scott couldn’t tell if she was being sarcastic or not.

 

Instead he chose to ignore the comment and took his seat across from Kaylie. “Flight was delayed, so glad that I wasn’t too late.” He nervously tapped the desk in front of him, glancing at the clock hanging on the wall. He was only fifteen minutes late. Not _too_ bad.  “Tess sends her best.”

 

Kaylie nodded her head, not responding to Scott, and refusing to make eye contact with him. “Of course, she does.”

 

Tension suddenly rose.

 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Scott said, his eyes narrowing.

 

She rolled her eyes, then proceeded to make eye contact with him. “How much does she even know what is going on between us? Does she know what we have been through and are currently going through?” Her blues eyes blinked rapidly, with Scott seeing tears form at the edge of them.

 

Scott sat back in his chair, furiously shaking his head. “No, she doesn’t know anything.”

 

“Of course, she doesn’t,” replied Kaylie sarcastically, unable to believe a word Scott said.

 

“Why are you acting like this?” Scott remarked, his jaw dropping open in disbelief. “Tessa’s husband died leaving her alone with Angela. Do you really think I went there to talk about our problems? I was trying to make her happy, not cause more distress or worry.”

 

Scott’s former wife cleared her throat, while looking down at the hands in her lap. “She really hasn’t left you after all this time, has she?” sighed Kaylie.

 

The entire room was silent, as Kaylie’s feelings began pouring out. She let out a hefty sigh, her hands covering her face, as the former happy couple were processing what was just said. Steve cleared his throat first, interrupting the awkwardness between Scott and Kaylie. “Let’s get into the discussion about the division of the assets in question?” Steve glanced down at his papers, then over at Sara, before looking back at Scott and Kaylie.

 

“Why are you suddenly jealous?” hissed Scott deliberately ignoring Steve. “You know that Tessa will always have a place in my heart, we went through hell and back skating together. I don’t have feelings for her like that, I haven’t for a long time.”

 

Kaylie shook her head, breaking the glare to look down at her lap. “She has a child now.”

 

Scott threw his hands up in the air, interrupting her train of thought. “This is unbelievable. Why are you suddenly acting like this? I’m around children all the time and because it is Tessa’s child and me and her have a past you assume—”  

 

“Because I can’t give you what you want,” Kaylie shouted over his voice, reaching her own breaking point. Tears began leaking down her face, as she took a few deep breaths to collect herself. She wiped away the tears and looked back up at him, blinking rapidly. “We are here as a result of an irrevocable differences due to me not being able to give you what you want.”

 

Scott adjusted his position in the seat, looking down at his hands, shoulders slumped. He took a few moments to calm himself, then sat back up to meet Kaylie’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Kaylie, I truly am. Tessa has nothing to deal with what happened between us and she still doesn’t hold anything over this decision. We both tried to move past what happened, to pretend that everything was okay, but it just damaged us in the long run.”

 

A moment passed between them, both staring at each other.

 

“I want you happy,” whispered Scott staring down at the wooden table.

 

“I know, Scott, I am not saying that this a poor decision,” whispered Kaylie. Her hand reached halfway across the table, attempting to extend to his own. He looked up and grabbed her hand too, holding it as they gave each other a tight squeeze. “It’s the right decision for us and I think we will be both happier in the long run.”

 

“Doesn’t mean it is easy,” Scott returned.

 

Kaylie wiped a tear with her free hand. “Never said it was.”

 

* * *

 

_Scott met up with Tessa every Friday morning to grab coffee at a local coffee place in London. He walked into the coffee shop, already spotting her dark hair and diamond ring sparkling in the sunlight at their usual booth. It was their new routine that they settled into ever since Tessa came back from her honeymoon; a way to remain connected and up to date in each other’s lives, since they were on their own paths. They always valued their friendship and were each other’s biggest supporters and no one would change that between them._

_“Virtch, punctual as always,” grinned Scott. He squeezed her shoulder and then proceeded to sit down across from her to notice the two coffees that were already ordered._

_Scott knew it was the same thing they ordered every week: an almond milk cappuccino. It became a running joke between the two of them ever since he messed up the coffee order in front of Ellen, even though that very same morning they had gone to Starbucks to order coffee before getting prepped for Ellen._

_“And struggling to get out of bed, as always,” Tessa said, with a giggle._

_He took a sip of his coffee, nodding his head, as the caffeine starting trickling into his bloodstream. “You would think I would be tired of these cappuccinos by now, but I’m not.”_

_Tessa raised an eyebrow at him. “At least it is drilled in your mind what you can always order me.”_

_Scott shook his head. “Maybe I should tweet how I finally have mastered your coffee order. I think the fans would enjoy that, if there are even fans out there.”_

_She nodded her head. “Oh, yes there are still fans out there. Even people still wanting us to be together even though we are with other people. I don’t think it will end ever.”_

_There was an awkward pause._

_“How is Mark doing?” asked Scott, changing the topic._

_“Good, he is out traveling this week for work. I have been working with a few designers from Hillberg and Berk to release another line. Still stunned they want to work with me more frequently, even though everything has died down with publicity.”_

_“Because you are great at everything you do,” Scott said, sipping his coffee._

_Tessa blushed, taking a tiny drink. “How are things going with Kaylie? I know you were talking about moving into that house in Ilderton and she would have to commute to Toronto each day for work.”_

_“I’m going to propose to her,” Scott blurted out, suddenly incapable of casually bringing it up._

_His former partner’s mouth dropped open. “Sc—Scott that is wonderful.” The words stumbled out of Tessa’s mouth, as she looked down at her hands momentarily to collect herself. “She’s the one for you?”_

_Scott paused looking at his partner and once the girl he imagined waking up every morning with, having lazy days around the house in their pajamas, and holding her as they fell asleep. Now, he stared at her with complete affirmation in his face, as the truth started pouring out of his mouth. “Yeah, Kaylie truly is. I love her, and I can’t imagine a day without her.”_

_Tessa nodded her head, giving him her a forced, toothy grin. “I’m happy for you, Scott, I truly am.”_

_Both pretended it didn’t hurt when they realized that their future was set in stone without each other in it._

 

* * *

 

Scott knocked on the familiar door to the house, knowing that he could simply just use the key he still had and walk right through it. Now that things had reached an agreement, after an excruciating emotional meeting with the lawyers, it had suddenly dawned on him how real this entire process was. Even though it was the right the decision for both him and Kaylie, it still hurt to lose someone that meant the world to him the past few years. The problem was they fell out of love with each other.

 

His knock triggered an excited bark from Rufus, as well as Kaylie calling out that she was coming. As soon as the door flung open Rufus let out a long cry and went up on Scott’s legs, wagging his tail. “Hey boy, it is good to see you. Did you miss me?” Scott said, scratching his dog’s ears.

 

Kaylie leaned in the doorway, giving him a soft smile. “He was constantly looking for you. Kept laying on your spot on the couch.” A hint of sadness was evident in her voice, as she swallowed and opened up the door wider, both awkwardly staying at her. “You can come in, don’t be a stranger here.”

 

Scott nodded, giving Rufus another scratch, before he walked into his former house, following Kaylie into the kitchen. Rufus’s bag of stuff was packed neatly in a box, as well as a few other odds and ends of Scott’s scattered throughout the kitchen. Yet, the thing that made him taken aback was the samples of paint colors, granite countertops, and tile that were laying on top of the island counter.

 

“Redoing the kitchen, I see,” said Scott. “I thought what you have right now is your dream kitchen?”

 

He thought back to the fixer upper house that they originally bought together, that led to a solid year of consistent work in every room of the house. Kaylie was insistent to gut the entire kitchen and redo the layout, promising that this would be her one and only kitchen.

 

Kaylie bit her lip, gazing over at the samples. “I just needed a change, that is all.”

 

“Understandable.” He awkwardly shuffled back and forth on his feet, while Kaylie got Rufus’s water and food bowl and placed it in the box. She gazed down sadly at Rufus, who was sitting between them wagging his tail happily. He had no clue what was truly going on. “You know that if you ever want to see him, you can.”

 

They settled to give Rufus to Scott, which wasn’t as heavy as a debate as Scott thought it would be. Scott was the one who pushed for a dog about a year into their marriage, saying they can treat him like he was a son, in addition to picking out the breed and name. He was most definitely Scott’s dog, and Kaylie was quick to agree that Scott could have the dog even though she loved Rufus just as much.

 

She nodded slowly. “Thank you. He will be happy with you.” Kaylie paused taking in the moment with a deep breathe. “I unplugged and cleaned out that Molson fridge of yours, as well as put the TV back in the box it came in. Everything should be there.”

 

Soon enough, the last bit of his belongings was loaded into his car, with Rufus sitting in the front seat wagging his tail anxiously to go on an adventure. The two soon exes stood on the front porch staring at each other, realizing that this may in fact be the last time they would be in their house together. Scott pressed his key into the palm of Kaylie’s hand, swallowing every bit of emotion he had.

 

“Not everything was bad between us from the start, right?” asked Kaylie, her lips quivering.

 

“Of course not. In many ways it was perfect, but it wasn’t meant to last forever.”

 

“I’ll miss you.”

 

Scott nodded his head in agreement, pulling her into a tight hug. His lips found the top of her hair, as her arms wrapped tightly around the waist. Both had tears in their eyes, knowing that this was it. Sometimes they both wondered how their lives would be different if they had children or if they could sort through their differences at marriage counseling . . . but maybe everything happened for a reason.

 

“I’m always here if you need anything, Kaylie. I’m just a phone call away.”

 

“Same goes to you, Scott. Good luck in the future, I know it’ll be bright and happy.” She ran a hand through his hair, giving it a light tug and sighing into his chest.

 

Scott pulled away first and pressed a light kiss to her lips, feeling no connection like he had been feeling for the past year and a half, then walked away from his ex-wife holding back his tears.

 

* * *

 

Scott returned home from Court in late July, a sense of bittersweet emotion coursing through his veins. It was official; he was divorced. The plans of having a family seemed to run thin, considering he didn’t even know how soon it would be until he could move on and start dating other people.

 

Dating other people.

 

He swallowed at the thought, still trying to wrap his head around that thought. After he knew Kaylie was the one for him (she truly was at some point) he never looked back to the dating scene. The dating scene had proven to be a constant challenge combined with jealously of Tessa and finding a balance between his training and personal life.

 

When Kaylie came around life got simpler, she understood the bond was special between him and Tessa. She understood that he was busy because she was just as busy with work. Yet things fell apart slowly, both loving and caring for each other too much to see each other unhappy when their future took a turn. It wasn’t like they didn’t try to make the marriage work, they tried for the past year and a half, but some things remained broken and irreparable.

 

He gave Rufus a rawhide treats, while he grabbed himself a beer and settled down on the couch to try to lose his train of thought in the afternoon Blue Jays game. Scott knew he should be reviewing the training videos for his junior’s teams and making notes on techniques, before the high-performance camp, but he couldn’t bring himself to do that. His mind was elsewhere, and he needed a distraction.

 

Scott’s phone began ringing on the coffee table, with a part of him not even wanting to look up and see who it was. Sighing, he placed his beer on a coaster and answered the phone, assuming it was most likely his mother or father wanting to know how it went today in court, not even looking at the caller ID.

 

“What do you need? I told you everything went fine today in a text message,” droned Scott, rolling his eyes and sitting back on the sectional sofa. The very same sofa that Kaylie had vetoed when they first were furniture shopping, in which Scott immediately bought when they separated.

 

“Scott?” said the voice back, causing him to immediately freeze. “Is everything okay?”

 

“Tess,” He breathed into the phone. “I thought you were my parents and I—” A shaky hand combed through his hair, shaking his head at how rude he was when he picked up the phone.

 

A small, subtle laugh echoed through the line of the phone. “It’s okay, Scott, honestly. Why would you be yelling at your parents anyway? Or do I not want to know?”

 

He let out a short laugh. “You probably don’t want to know, Virtch. How is everything?”

 

There was a pause on the line.

 

“I donated some of Mark’s books to the local library, so I’m making progress. Still can’t manage to touch his closet, I—” Her breathe caught on the line and he sensed her restraining her emotions from letting out and trying to collect herself. “I’m doing better, some days are harder than others.”

 

“Are you eating three meals a day?” He asked. It sounded like a ridiculous question, but Scott knew Tessa’s appetite hadn’t been the same since Mark’s passing. The few times he talked to Tessa’s family back home to check up on her, they said that she was still frail and picky with her food and the life seemed to have left her.

 

“Sometimes, if it is a good day.”

 

Scott nodded. “Okay, that is better. How is Ella?”  


“Great, still loving the new toys you gave her. Speaking of her, I have a proposition for you.”

 

He raised one eyebrow, his elbows resting on his knees when he sat up from the sectional. “Sounds fancy. What is it?” He let out a chuckle on the phone, hearing her laugh in return.

 

“I need to clear my head and get out of London for a bit, just me and Ella. So, I think we might come to Montreal and if you are around it would be great to meet up if you want to at least.”

 

Scott’s heart started beating faster, butterflies racing in his stomach. “You can stay with me, I have an extra room for you and Ella.”

 

“Would Kaylie be okay with that?” Tessa replied, hesitation in her voice.

 

Shit. Tessa still had no clue that Scott had finalized his divorce (or even got a divorce) since the last time he saw Tessa. Scott meant to tell her the few times he talked on the phone but was more concerned about how Tessa was doing moving forward. The last thing he wanted to do was upset her or make her feel bad for consuming Scott with her problems when he was going through his own. He knew he needed to tell her.

 

“It doesn’t matter to her,” Scott said, after coming up with the right wording. “When are you going to come? The high-performance camp is coming up soon and I want to make sure I’m around. Also, I’m sure the team at Gadbois would love to see you and Ella.”

 

“I miss them,” said Tessa. “This may be last minute, but I was thinking about coming Monday. We will probably only stay for three days, if that isn’t a problem—”

 

He was quick to cut her off. “Just come, Tessa. Don’t think too much about it.”

 

“Okay,” She whispered back into the phone. “I’ll see you soon.”

 

“See you soon,” He said disconnecting the phone.

 

~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments have been blowing me away and mean the world to me. Thanks for the lovely support, I think I will say that in every author's note. I love comments, I love responding to you guys. It is so motivational to me.
> 
> This chapter was difficult for me to write, I got frustrated easily, and couldn't motivate myself to write a few particular flashbacks scenes. Yet, it had to be done to pick up this story and give you more insight into Kaylie. I think it turned out okay and I promise the next chapter will be even more exciting. Answers surrounding Mark's death will be revealed very soon. 
> 
> Hope you all have a great week!


	5. Back to the Place Where It All Began

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa departs for Montreal with Ella, not knowing what to expect. A confrontation finally occurs, while flashbacks depict the happiness Scott and Tessa once had in Montreal.

Chapter 5

 

“Are you sure I don’t need a hotel? I feel awful intruding, especially with a little girl who is insisting we bring a suitcase filled with toys,” Tessa said on the phone. She pattered across her bedroom, sliding a few casual shirts off the hanger and carefully rolling them into her suitcase.

 

Tessa and Ella were leaving mid-morning for the airport, with Ella a bundle of joy for her first airplane ride. Tessa hadn’t mentioned to Ella that they would be seeing Scott, let alone his gracious hospitality for them. The way he so easily assured her that they can stay at her place, with Kaylie not even beginning to question, made her think back to his lack of ring of his finger. There was definitely something going on and it was a matter of time before Tessa figured it out.

 

“Tess, you’re being ridiculous. I told you that it was no big deal. Besides, I have plenty of room for Ella’s toys. Let’s just hope that Rufus doesn’t think it is one of his new toys,” laughed Scott on the other end.

 

She held her breathe, nodding her head. “Rufus is nice, right? I’m just worried because Ella has never been around a dog and—”

 

“He is as gentle as a fly, loves the nieces and nephews. Do you really think I would own an aggressive dog who hates children?” His tone was light over the phone, causing herself to blush and let out a sigh of relief.

 

She sat down on the edge of her bed, her eyes looking at the inside of her suitcase figuring out what else she needed. The amount of travel she had done during her career had made her an efficient, quick packer. There were many years where she was prone to overpacking and subsequent teasing from Scott, but by the comeback season she had become even better. Although, there was a lot of sarcastic remarks on social media when someone captured her two enormous suitcases and carry-on luggage in the Tokyo airport (in her defense, she had been away from home for a ridiculous amount of time).

 

“I wouldn’t let Rufus near Ella if he was a threat. Watch, they will become the best of friends,” continued Scott.

 

“I’ll take your word, Moir,” laughed Tessa. “Anyways, our flight should be landing around noon in Montreal. Can you send me your address? We can just take a cab from the airport or rent a car.”

 

Scott scoffed, and Tessa knew what look he had across his face. “I’m picking you up, unless you are opposed.”

 

“Don’t you have to be at the rink?” She exasperated. “The high-performance camp will be here before you know it and I don’t think Marie and Patrice will—” Her voice paused at his laughter radiating through the phone. “Scott, seriously?”

He stopped his laughter, but she sensed he still had that goofy grin across his face. “Why do you think that I’m going to let you fend for yourself? What part of staying with me are you having trouble understanding, kiddo?”

 

“Because you know I’m grown up and have a child,” She droned back. Tessa realized she needed to grab her black high-waisted skinny jeans out of the wash and proceeded to leave her room and walk downstairs, hearing Ella talked to herself as she played with her dolls. “Scott, you don’t need to go out of the way for us like you already have.”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous, T. You’re going to have a great time, so stop asking questions and feeling sorry. This is supposed to be a short, fun getaway,” He said.

 

Tessa smiled, folding some of the laundry she had air dry overnight, making sure to set aside the jeans she wanted. “Thank you, Scott, again. I know I keep saying it and it must be growing old by now.”

 

“You’re welcome. Tell Ella she can bring as many toys that can fit into a suitcase and carry-on.”

 

“You might regret saying that,” She giggled, pushing her loose hair behind her ears. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Scott.”

 

“Bye, Virtch, be prepared for the mini vacation of your life.”

 

Tessa hung up the phone and continued folding the laundry that just finished up in the dryer. As she was changing over the clothes from the washing machine to the dryer, she heard the pitter patter of Ella’s feet coming down the hallway and the press of the small girl’s body against her leg. Tessa smiled down at her daughter, taking a free hand to stroke her hair.

 

“Can you do a favor for Mommy, Ella?” asked Tessa, eying her daughter carefully. Her daughter’s eager eyes shot up, excited for the task. “Can you make our friend Scott a drawing?”

 

“Yes!” said Ella excitedly, “for the mail? Can I lick the stamp?”

 

Tessa smiled at Ella, shaking her head, immediately causing Ella to frown. Tessa tossed in a dryer sheet then started the dryer, before turning around to face Ella who was not amused. Tentatively touching Ella’s shoulder, Tessa crouched down to meet Ella’s gaze. “It is even better, sweetheart. You get to give it to him yourself.”

 

Her eyes lit up. “Really? We get to see him?”

 

“We do,” nodded Tessa, her entire body melting at the little girl’s excitement. “Draw him a picture to thank him for the toys he gave you. Can you do that? I will help you write your name and leave a note.”

 

“Yes, Mommy!” Ella sung out. She gave Tessa a quick hug, before skipping down the hallway to grab some paper and crayons. Tessa watched Ella disappear around the corner, letting out a long sigh and smile. This was the least Tessa could give Scott, after everything he had continued to do for her.

 

Scott continued to wear his heart on his sleeve, always adamant about doing things for others. Since Mark’s passing, he had become one of the top people that had been looking after her. When he showed up at the visitation service, when her entire world was shattered, he was there to hold her, support her, and let her continue stay in that dark place, reassuring Tessa that Scott would be here to talk whenever she was ready. Scott had been the one that knew what to do to make her little girl smile, not even showing anger that she kept her pregnancy and Ella from him. After all of this time apart, in their strange new dynamic, the only thing Tessa saw when Scott looked at her was the immense amount of care he had for her, that was being passed to her daughter.

 

He really had not changed.

 

* * *

 

_Neither understood what they had become, especially after Tessa told Scott she didn’t want him to be with anyone else. After that night Tessa admitted she didn’t want to be with anyone else but him, Scott woke up every morning for the next eight months with a smile across his face and Tessa’s warm body wrapped in his arms. He always woke up hours before her, but never bothered to get out of bed or even move her. Laying there with her peacefully in his arms, was his idea of perfection. This was going to be the rest of his life, with one day a child laying between them._

_Several hours later, Scott walked into Tessa’s kitchen to prepare a late breakfast for them. He reluctantly left Tessa, curled up with a smile on her face, after she said they needed to get ready for their errands today as soon as they ate breakfast. That was the plan, it still continued to be the plan after he pulled her on top of him and kissed her deeply, repeating last night’s activities. Yet, he knew Tessa was lying to herself when she said she would get out of bed and get herself ready, after he got out of the shower fully dressed and ready for the day._

_Here he stood in the kitchen, flipping pancakes and whistling to the Tragically Hip album that was blasting from Tessa’s Bluetooth speaker (blasting to keep Tessa awake, that is), when he heard the light patter of her feed on the hardwood floor. Her arms found his waist, as she pressed her body against his back as he hovered over the stovetop._

_“It smells delicious,” Tessa murmured, pressing her lips into his back, then resting her head against it. The scent of his laundry detergent combined with his cologne made her melt into him, wanting more than anything to go back to bed and just lay in his arms. He was her home, he was her happy place._

_“Someone is finally up and moving, I see,” Scott lightly said, “I made some fresh coffee for you too.”_

_Tessa moved away from Scott, walking over towards the mug that was sitting next to the fresh pot of coffee and her creamer already on the counter. He really knew her well, to the point where she never needed to request anything from him. Adding her creamer, Tessa leaned against the counter to continue smiling at Scott and memorizing this moment. A moment that she hoped would never end._

_Scott looked over at her, smirking at Tessa’s version of getting ready in the morning; his collared shirt, now wrinkled, a pair of underwear that was peeking out from underneath the shirt, and an obnoxiously huge pair of Marvin the Martian slippers. Her hair was down in loose waves while wearing minimal makeup, while radiating happiness. The happiness that Tessa constantly felt being with Scott._

_“Is that the latest trend? A man’s wrinkled shirt with huge cartoon slippers?” He paned, not being able to wipe the grin off his face. His hazel eyes met her jade ones and he wiggled his eyebrows._

_“Shut up,” giggled Tessa, taking a small sip of her hot coffee._

_He moved the pancakes off the skillet to one of the plates, making sure to sprinkle some extra chocolate chips on top. “If I wasn’t in the middle of making breakfast, you know what I would do to you,” said Scott giving her the look._

_Tessa smirked, scooting closer to Scott. “And what is that?”_

_“It involves taking my shirt back.”_

_“You’re going to have to fight me for that,” Tessa winked._

_Scott laughed, while finishing up the final set of pancakes and getting the eggs on the skillet. Tessa began helping him make toast, both of them singing and dancing along to the music playing from the speaker. As Scott divided up the eggs onto his and Tessa’s plate, he grabbed her and spun her into him as “Long Time Running” came onto the speaker._

_They swayed back and forth, as Scott sung to her, never breaking eye contact._

_“Sometimes, I still wonder if this is all a dream,” admitted Scott._

_“Same,” whispered Tessa, “even if it is, I don’t want this dream to end. Not for a long time.” She pressed her lips up against Scott’s briefly before pulling back, gazing into his eyes. “Move in with me, Scott.”_

_Scott paused the dancing, shocked at the words that came out of his skating partner’s mouth. “Don’t I already live here?” He said, amusement written on his face. “I mean you gave me a key.”_

_Tessa shook her head, placing both of her arms on his shoulders, with her sweet smile. “No, I mean actually live here to the point where you don’t need to go to your place to get more clothes or do laundry. Put them all here, with my things. You can keep your place if you want, just in case, but—”_

_Scott cut her off, giving her light kisses all over her face and neck. “I couldn’t think of a better idea.” He said each word between kisses, causing Tessa to do her crying laugh. Scott grinned even harder, if that was possible, and the two quickly forgot about the breakfast he just made._

 

* * *

 

“Good afternoon everyone, this is your pilot speaking. We are beginning our descent here in Montreal. It appears to be a beautiful, hot summer day, a temperature of thirty-three degrees. Just wanted to say it has been a pleasure flying with you and we hope to see you again with Air Canada soon.”

 

Tessa moved her reclined airplane seat up, looking over at Ella who was playing some games on Tessa’s iPad. This was Ella’s first time flying, which made Tessa nervous about a multitude of things, including Ella crying about her ears hurting. Yet, she handled it like a champ, barely showing signs of discomfort during the ascension and now the descent.

 

“Are we finally here, Mommy?” asked Ella, looking up from her dress-up game on the iPad. A sweet smile spread across Ella’s face, as she reached over and grabbed Tessa’s hand.

 

“Yes, now the airplane has to land,” smiled Tessa. “How about we finish up the game, so I can put it in my purse? We don’t want to drop it when we land.”

 

Ella nodded, quickly handing over Tessa the iPad, while squirming in her seat. The plane was quick to land and pull up to the gate, with many people jumping at the opportunity to get out of their seats. Tessa was slower at even standing up, knowing from years of experience, that sometimes it was faster to just remain seated and not be pressed up against everyone else. Ella didn’t seem to care, but instead was staring out the window with wide, curious eyes seeing planes take off and land.

 

After nearly twenty minutes waiting to exit the plane, Ella began skipping down the ramp to lead to the inside of the airport. Sir Bunchkins ears were flapping up and down, as she jumped in the air and landed. Tessa held one of Ella’s hands, while balancing her enormous carry-on purse, Ella’s small backpack, and a suitcase. Yet, the juggling of everything wasn’t on her mind, as she continued walking. Was this going to be awkward seeing Kaylie after so long? Or was Kaylie even around? The anxiety stirred in her, causing Tessa to focus on her breathing and Ella.

 

“Don’t overthink this,” She mumbled to herself.

 

The walk to the baggage claim felt like an eternity, especially navigating through a crowd with a toddler. Tessa gripped Ella’s hand tightly, a part of her anxious that Ella would get lost in the sea of people. It was a mother’s worst nightmare to lose track of their child, especially in an area filled with strangers. Ella stayed as close to Tessa as possible, basically pressed up against her leg, wide-eyed at the amount of people passing in the airport. Ella had never directly experienced a crowd like that, especially since she began walking.

 

Tessa continued pushing through the crowd, finally seeing the turn to get to their carousel at the baggage claim. The crowd lightened up immensely, giving Tessa plenty of room to choose her location: close to the back wall with a bench nearby. They walked up to the area, with Tessa feeling immediate relief placing her bag and suitcase next to her and helping Ella up on the bench.

 

“What are we doing, Mommy?” asked Ella, her rabbit sitting on her lap.

 

“Waiting for the bags, sweetheart. I’m going to send something to Grandma Kate that we arrived safely. It won’t be much longer.” Tessa dug out her phone from her enormous bag, taking her eyes off of Ella to send and reply to a few messages. The anxiety still stirred in her, wondering what would happen this trip.

 

“Excuse me. I’m sorry to bother you but are you Tessa Virtue?” a voice said behind her.

 

Startled, Tessa turned around to see a girl in her mid-twenties with long dark hair. It was seldom that Tessa was recognized now, especially since their retirement and slow disappearance from the public eye. The dedicated fans new that her and Scott married different people and rarely did things together, but no one knew about Ella apart from the London and Ilderton locals. Tessa wanted to maintain some privacy.

 

“Yes,” said Tessa, quickly looking at Ella, who was immersed in going through her backpack of toys. “What’s your name?”

 

“Sarine,” She replied.

 

“What a beautiful name,” said Tessa smiling.

 

They managed to take a picture indiscreetly, neither wanting to draw attention to the fact. It was obvious that the fan made the connection between Tessa and Ella, especially when Ella smiled and met eyes with Sarine.

 

“Your daughter is beautiful,” said Sarine, blinking at Ella, who went back to playing with her stuffed rabbit. Alarm spread over Sarine’s face, as she covered her mouth and looked up at Tessa. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to assume—”

 

“She’s me and Mark’s,” replied Tessa, knowing that fans already knew about her husband and what happened to him. “If I could just ask that you don’t say—”

 

“I won’t,” Sarine interjected. “I know you finally got the privacy in your life again and I would never say anything.”

 

Tessa gave Sarine a quick hug, signed something of hers, then she parted ways. The smile faded from her face, as she sat down next to Ella who managed to find her coloring book and crayons. It always felt nice meeting fans years later, especially when there were new ice dance teams rising to power. Her and Scott’s fans still existed, but it definitely had died down especially once their relationship ended (which devastated many fans). Wrapping an arm around her daughter, she smiled and started helping her color.

 

Minutes passed, and the luggage soon started falling onto the carousel. As the mother-daughter duo stood up to get the luggage, Tessa froze seeing a familiar face walking through the crowd. Holding onto Ella’s hand, she gave it a tight squeeze and looked down at her. “Ella? Do you want to say hi to someone?”

 

“Who?” Ella stood in her place gazing down at her feet, mesmerized by her sparkly pair of sneakers.

 

Tessa let out a soft laugh. “Why don’t you look up and see?”

 

* * *

 

Scott strolled through the airport, attempting to find the correct baggage claim. He hadn’t originally planned to greet them at the baggage claim, especially since his usual coaching time would have originally caused him to arrive at the airport just on time. Yet that entire practice his mind had been racing about Tessa coming to Montreal with Ella. Charming, beautiful, and funny Ella who deserved to be protected at all costs. He couldn’t focus on analyzing the technique from some junior teams, especially when it was much needed.

 

Patch noticed Scott’s distance from the practice immediately, especially when Scott didn’t point out an error on Andrew’s lift that could throw out his knee or back. This ultimately led to Patch dismissing Scott for the day, letting him have the rest of the day be a personal day, and telling him to spend it with Tessa. The original plan had been Scott picking up Tessa and Ella at the pick-up area and bringing him to his apartment, over his lunch break. The plan wasn’t ideal, but it was what he needed to do to balance out work.

 

Although, Patch saw through Scott’s plan seeing that it wasn’t something Scott really wanted to do. Sighing, he placed a hand on Scott’s shoulder during one of the mini breaks during practice. “Go get your girls, Scott.” Scott was slightly taken aback by Patch’s words but knew not to question it and immediately left practice. Before he knew it, he was pulling up to the airport.

As he approached the correct baggage claim, his eyes wandered around the area, trying to see if he could find Tessa or Ella. Scott didn’t know if they were at the baggage claim yet, but figured it was worth a try to attempt to find him. Glancing around the crowd of people, he suddenly saw a little girl charging towards him with a goofy grin spread across her face. “Scott! It’s me, Ella!” She squealed.

 

With no hesitation, Scott squatted on the ground letting her immediately run into his arms. Her arms squeezed tightly around him, as he hugged her back. It had only been two months since he last laid eyes on Ella, but it felt like an eternity. “It’s good to see you,” said Scott happily, pulling away from the hug.

 

“You didn’t say goodbye,” pouted Ella.

 

“Because I knew it wasn’t actually goodbye,” replied Scott, giving her a light tap to her nose. A giggle radiated throughout Ella, causing him to grin even harder (if that was even possible). “Now, where is your mother?”

 

“Right here,” said the voice Scott could pick out of any crowd.

 

Scott stood up and immediately found his arms wrapping around Tessa and pulling her close, their breaths naturally syncing. She felt and looked more like his Tessa than she did two months ago. The warmth was beginning to return to her face, her body less delicate, and a new-found confidence inside of her. Tessa was definitely still hurting, but at the same time she was slowly trying to heal. The healing process that only comes as one’s mind begins to process and accept recent events.

 

“It’s good to see you, Tess,” Scott murmured into her hair.

 

Tessa let out a long sigh into his chest, nodding her head. “It’s good to see you too.”

 

* * *

 

_Scott grabbed his last box of stuff from his apartment, taking one long look at it, seeing his “man” couch (as Tessa lovingly referred to it as) and obvious lack of décor. He never fully settled in this apartment, seeing that he usually was over at Tessa’s if they were over in the building, and primarily used it for sleeping, showering, and doing laundry. It never really felt like home to him, but he decided to keep his apartment to prevent a surcharge for breaking the lease early. Excitement flooded throughout him, with a feeling that this was how the rest of his life was going to be. Him, Tessa, and possibly a daughter running around the apartment floor._

_He gently opened up Tessa’s door to see her moving several boxes of old clothes out of their bedroom, singing to Hall and Oates. Her hair piled up on her head, with a pair of white socks, an old shirt of Scott’s, and tight shorts, giving him a huge smile. “Your home,” said Tessa, watching Scott place his final box of stuff on the ground._

_Scott smiled at her, walking towards her. Wordlessly he swept her off of her feet, holding her close to him. Tessa wrapped her legs around him, her hands running through his hair and her face buried in his neck. “I’m home, Tess, I’m finally home,” He murmured into her._

_Tessa raised her head from his chest, gazing into his hazel eyes.  “I love you,” She whispered, her breathing tingling his lips._

_“I love you too,” He said, closing the gap between them momentarily._

_She smiled at him, her green eyes meeting his hazel ones, a small giggling escaping her. “Want to know how much I love you?”_

_Scott nodded, raising an eyebrow at her._

_“I cleared out a third of my closet for you,” said Tessa, giving him a kiss between every word. A giggle erupted her, as she finished her sentence, with Scott giving her a light kiss on her cheek. “Now how about we move you officially in?”_

_Scott grabbed her tighter, both laughing in unison, as he led her to their bedroom. He sat Tessa down on the bed, turning around to stare into the walk-in closet, smiling at the spot reserved for his clothes. Tessa went up on her knees from the bed, wrapping her arms around his neck and perching her head on his neck. His hands instinctively went up to touch her hands, gazing into the closet then at her._

_She planted a kiss on the side of his neck, then nuzzled her face into his neck. “Is that enough room for your stuff?” Tessa murmured into his neck._

_“More than enough, T. I could have even used the second bedroom closet, you didn’t need to do this,” Scott whispered back to her. He turned his neck to draw his face closer to hers._

_Tessa shook her head at him running a hand through his long hair. “Of course, I did. You aren’t just a roommate Scott, you are my future.”_

_Neither knew who kissed each other first in that moment or who started shedding tears first. They felt like they had a future together because both knew their love was strong and undeniable.  It was the type of love that had been building for nearly two decades and would only continue to grow stronger with every passing day. In many ways this felt like a young love, both feeling that life suddenly had meaning and that they were free to just be with each other. They were each other’s future, without a single doubt. A future that would involve settling down, raising kids, and growing old together._

_They were each other’s home._

* * *

 

The drive to Scott’s place wasn’t as awkward as Tessa thought it would be. He let Tessa select the radio station, while making sure to include an energetic Ella into every conversation. Ella was overjoyed when she realized they would be staying at Scott’s, which made Tessa feel slightly alarmed. It wasn’t about Ella finding comfort and safety in Scott, it was about getting too attached. There was a chance Scott would only be in Tessa’s life again temporarily, until he knew that she was perfectly okay.

 

It was what was expected.

 

They pulled into the apartment complex’s underground parking with Ella squealing that it was a ride when they went underground. Scott chuckled, while Tessa turned around to watch Ella’s shrieks of joy. The sound radiating from Ella’s mouth was intoxicating, causing both Scott and Tessa to look at each other smiling. Ella bounced her feet up and down excitedly, when Scott parked the car in the spot that was conveniently located near the elevator.

 

Tessa helped Ella out of the car and put on her backpack, while Scott unloaded the suitcases from the trunk of his car. A mixture of happiness and nerves raced throughout him, as Tessa helped with one of the suitcases while balancing Ella on her hip as they walked towards the elevator. Neither exchanged many words to each other, not knowing what to say, while Ella asked Scott a lot of questions letting the curiosity soar throughout her.

 

They got off at the top floor, with Scott leading the way towards his apartment that was situated at the end of the hallway. Tessa gazed around the floor taking in the mesmerizing view of Montreal from the hallway’s window, while waiting for Scott to unlock the door. Ella’s head rested on Tessa’s shoulder, her rabbit dangling from its ears, as she sleepily blinked her eyes. It was close to her usual nap time.

 

Scott swung the door open, diverting Tessa’s attention to the inside of the apartment. When she stepped into the apartment she froze, taken aback from the barely lived in appearance. The apartment was the definition of modern meets homey, with an open-concept space. The decorations were kept at a bare minimum, with the main focus of the place the enormous, gray “man” couch that took up the living room. There were a few knick-knacks around the apartment, no photographs, causing Tessa to make the conclusion. Kaylie, Scott’s interior decorator wife, did not live here.

 

Before Tessa could continue collecting her thoughts, a dog raced towards the door letting out a whimper as he ran into Scott. A small bark emerged from the dog, as he went up on Scott’s leg giving him a few licks on the face. “I told you I wouldn’t be gone for too long today,” cooed Scott, rubbing the dogs head. “Rufus, I have some new friends for you.”

 

The dog’s attention moved towards Ella and Tessa who were standing in the doorway. Ella’s eyes were halfway open, as she waved down at Rufus. “Hi Rufus,” She sleepily said, causing a small giggle to escape Tessa’s lips. “I’ll play with you later with Mommy and Scott.”

 

Tessa gave her daughter a squeeze, before pressing her lips to Ella’s cheek. Rufus stood in front of Tessa, his tail wagging at her. “Hi there, Rufus. I heard a lot about you,” said Tessa. She maneuvered one of her arms to still support Ella, while giving him a scratch on his head. The dog wagged his tail and began licking Tessa’s hand, while letting out an excited bark.

 

Ella let out a yawn and her eyes were drifting shut, suddenly feeling very heavy in Tessa’s arms. Scott walked behind Tessa to shut the door to his apartment, taking a look at the toddler in her arms. Ella’s eyes were completely shut, and her mouth was slightly ajar, with her rabbit slipping from her grips. Scott was quick to catch Sir Bunchkin’s, then ushered Tessa over to the massive couch with Rufus following closely.

 

“Want to lay her down here?” He asked Tessa.

 

Tessa nodded her head, gently grabbing a pillow on the couch and oriented it, before laying down her sleeping daughter. Sighing, she began removed Ella’s shoes, while Scott disappeared with Rufus. She sat on the edge of the couch, gazing down at her sleeping daughter’s innocent face. Lightly caressing Ella’s face, she stared at the face that looked exactly like Mark as a child. “I love you, beautiful girl,” Tessa whispered, tears encompassing her eyes. “Daddy loves you too, I know he is watching you.”   

 

 “I got you a blanket for her, T. Will this work?” Scott’s voice echoed from the hallway, interrupting Tessa’s thoughts immediately. Wiping at her eyes and pushing back her hair, she sat up straight and turned her attention towards Scott. He was staring down at the blanket, with a goofy grin spread across his face, as he continued to say, “She better be a Maple Leafs fan.”

 

An amused grin spread on Tessa’s face, the light coming back to her eyes.

 

“I take that as a yes?” He pressed.

 

“You still haven’t gotten rid of this blanket, huh?” She said, grabbing it from him and draping it over Ella. “When did I give that to you? Your sixteenth birthday?”

 

Scott shrugged. “I won’t ever get rid of anything that involves the Leafs. You know that. Wasn’t that the last gift exchange before we stopped doing presents all together?”

 

Tessa rolled her eyes, before pressing her lips to Ella’s forehead. She placed Ella’s shoes on the ground near the door, turning to see an entertained Scott. “If I recall the no presents thing was an excuse for you to not plan ahead for my birthday.”

 

He let out a silent laugh. “Perhaps, but you know I will never admit it.”

 

In the meantime, Rufus had wandered out of Scott’s room and headed towards the couch. His furry face was rested on the cushion where Ella peacefully slept, with his tail thumping at the ground. “Looks like they became friends quickly,” noted Tessa, her arms against her chest. She stared at the dog curiously, then looked at Scott who was smiling at the scene unfolding.

 

“You want to stay there boy?” asked Scott. The dog gave a knowing look to Scott, before jumping up to the couch, a cushion down from Ella and curling up into a ball. Tessa let out a small laugh, seeing the look on the dog. Rufus was not going to budge anytime soon. “I hope that is okay with you, T. I know you were a bit nervous—”

 

“I trust your judgement, Scott.” She nervously bit her bottom lip.

 

An awkward pause came between the two, as they stared at Ella and Rufus sleeping together on the couch. Scott’s hands were buried deep inside of his pockets, taking a few calming breaths. Clearing his throat, he said, “Want to see where you will be staying?”

 

“Sure,” Tessa softly responded.

 

Scott soon led the way towards the guest room, both of them wheeling the suitcases towards the room. “I hope this is enough space for the two of you. I didn’t know how Ella would sleep in a bed without a gate on the side of it,” stuttered out Scott, opening up the door.

 

Tessa followed him into the room, gazing at the queen-sized bed with a white fluffy comforter. There was a small dresser in the corner of the room, as well as a decent size closet. The room itself wasn’t anything spectacular, but the view was what captivated her. A small double door was against the west wall in the room, with Tessa walked over to it and placing her hand on the door. Turning around, she raised an eyebrow at Scott, who was leaning against the door frame. “Is this what I think it is?” She said, slightly shocked.

 

“You tell me,” He grinned, beckoning her to open the door.

 

As the door swung open, sunlight began flooding through the room. As her green eyes saw the view before her, her mouth gaped, as she stepped onto balcony. It wrapped around the corner of the building, extended to a view of not only downtown Montreal, but also the view of the outskirts of the city. There were two other sets of doors down from this one, most likely leading to the master bedroom and the living room. A set of patio furniture and a nice grill sat at the end Tessa could see.

 

“Scott, this is beautiful,” stated Tessa, still taken aback, diverting her attention to the view.

 

“If you look in that direction you can see Gadbois,” He said awkwardly, joining her next to the railing. He pointed out in the distance, describing the structure of the building. “At first, I thought it was a curse to see the view of work on my days off, but I have grown to enjoy the view.”

 

Tessa bit her lip, seeing the site of Gadbois. The years training there had made that rink a home away from home, considering they spent the majority of their time in Montreal at the arena. It was the very same place that made them realize they could achieve their dreams of the Olympics together, if they dedicated every part of themselves to ice dance. The same place they created memorable routines such as Moulin Rouge and the Prince Medley. But also, the same place where it felt like their entire world ended, where Tessa left him on the ice and moved back to London.

 

The place where they ended.

 

Swallowing back the memories that flooded her mind, she turned to face Scott looking at the sadness in his face. “Scott, where is Kaylie?” Tessa’s hand found Scott’s arm, giving it a squeeze.

 

Scott let out a long sigh, rubbing his face and shaking his head. “Tess—”

 

Frustration quickly built in Tessa, as she tried her best not to have a loud outburst. “You invite me to stay at your place and not tell me that Kaylie doesn’t live here?” Her tone was short, still holding back that bit of anger.

 

He shook his head. “It’s complicated. I didn’t—”

 

Tessa stomped her foot, causing Scott to jump. “What the hell happened Scott? We have been talking nearly every day the past two months and you failed to mention this to me? I thought we were becoming friends again I thought—”

 

“We are friends, Tess. I just didn’t want to—”

 

“I’m not fragile!” She shouted. Once she collected her thoughts, she began speaking again through her teeth. “I’m tired of people acting like I can’t handle anything else sad, that I’m not able to take anything since Mark is gone.”

 

Alarm shot through Scott, as the two friends made eye contact with each other. Swallowing, he clenched his fists and let out a long breathe. “You should probably sit down for this. It is kind of a long story.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger, but I promise it'll be worth it! So, let's see what really happened with Kaylie and Scott shall we? I don't have much to say other than chapter 6, 7, and 8 will be pretty intense, so I added a lighter chapter before it gets...well, you will see. A lot will be revealed regarding Kaylie and Mark's background. 
> 
> Your comments are so lovely and I'm continuously blown away from them. Thank you everyone for your support! Hope to hear what you think.


	6. Sometimes Life Throws a Hurdle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott finally opens up to Tessa about what really happened between him and Kaylie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to give a heads up about a potential trigger regarding fertility issue that will be brought up in this chapter. 
> 
> First, I would like to mention that I am not graphic at all in this. Instead, I have chosen to focus on the emotions felt rather than the physical aspect regarding it. I understand this is a very sensitive topic that should not be taken lightly. 
> 
> Second, I have put a lot of thought into how I want to explain this aspect of the story, trying my upmost to be respectful and thoughtful towards women and men who deal with fertility problems in real life. In order to do this, I talked to several family members and friends who have experienced this sort of situation. Collectively I took their thoughts and feelings on the situation to develop how my fictional portrayal of characters would respond to the situation. I understand that each experience is different, each person reacts differently to the news, and I completely respect it. I couldn’t imagine going through a situation like this.
> 
> Third, I hope you enjoy the chapter. I tried my best to carefully craft this chapter, while trying to be respectful. 
> 
> I sincerely apologize if any of aspects of this chapter takes offense. If a part does, I will happily talk to you about it and reconsider putting this chapter through another edit.
> 
> Thank you for your continued support. 
> 
> All the best,
> 
> —C

"You should probably sit down for this. It is kind of a long story," stated Scott, his eyes immediately finding the flat concrete ground on the balcony. Nerves were flying throughout him, his fingers combing through his hair as his nervous tick, wondering how even to begin this conversation.

Tessa's lips remain tightly together, barely even registering what Scott said, her anger slowly beginning to subside. She wordlessly followed him over to the patio chairs, her gaze barely looking at him. Her hands were crossed in her lap, as Tessa took her seat farthest away from Scott, suddenly feeling uneasy at forcing a topic Scott wasn't comfortable talking about. She felt guilty about pushing this, yet the curiosity got the best of her. She needed to know.

Scott let out a long breathe, filled with tension and anger. He barely glanced at Tessa too, instead of letting his eyes gaze out at the city that was hustling and bustling from the afternoon. "You kept Angela from me," stated Scott, gritting his teeth together. "So why do you think you have the right to know about Kaylie?"

His eyes flickered up to find her own, her eyes immediately tearing away from his to look down at her fidgeting hands. "Scott—" Tessa started to say, but then paused not even knowing where to begin. He was right, she never brought up her daughter to him. Never even thought to show her face or baby bump, even managed to hide her early stage pregnancy when they had an event to attend for ice dance. "I'm sorry, we just weren't in a good place when I became pregnant, and I thought—"

Scott's long sigh interrupted Tessa. He shook his head, letting out a laugh at her hypocrisy. "My problems with Kaylie started when we weren't in a good place." Scott held up his hand, stopping Tessa from replying to his statement. "To get to the bottom line of the story, we are legally divorced as of last week; actually the day you called me."

Tessa's eyes widened, her hand finding its place over her open mouth. "I didn't know, I wouldn't have called if I knew," She softly said, her body beginning to shake inadvertently. "Oh god, then I kept asking about her, and I'm sure she is the last thing you wanted to talk about."

He shrugged. "I already had everything processed, to the point where the legal work didn't even phase me," Scott said, his voice barely wavering. "It didn't end on bad terms, in fact, it was quite mutual."

"You loved her though. You were so completely in love with her the day you told me you were going to marry her," said Tessa.

Scott let out a long sigh. "Tess, I loved her with all of my heart. I put every ounce of effort into the marriage trying to find a way to make it work, but at one point I realized that there was nothing that I could do to prevent the inevitable. So, we both gave up saving ourselves from more years of grief and regret." He choked back the emotion.

Tessa nodded calmly, her heart clenching in pain for Scott. "Then what happened? Where did it all go wrong?"

Scott let out the breath he was holding, looking down at his hands. "It all started before we were even engaged . . . "

 

* * *

 

_Scott could never pinpoint the exact moment he knew Kaylie would be the girl he would marry. Sometimes he wondered if it was the first time he kissed her goodnight, slow and steady, or when he saw the way she fit into his family like a missing puzzle piece that finally found its home. It came as no surprise to Kaylie's family or Scott's family when he told them confidently that he was going to marry Kaylie._

_They did talk about getting married and what their future would look like together. Scott chattered about his continued dream of coaching an incoming team of juniors to the Olympics, while Kaylie wanted to open up her own interior design company. They aspired to settle in the suburbs or stay in Ilderton, renovating a house to become their dream home. Scott wanted kids, at least two, and dreamed of having a little girl that would take up figure skating, with the topic of their future together always immediately ending there. Kaylie still became silent at the mention of kids, making Scott grow uneasy. He usually dropped the subject quickly, not wanting to push the matter any further noticing Kaylie's distress._

_It wasn't until their third talk of marriage, few days before him picking up the ring, that he finally dared to bring up the topic of kids with her. They sat around Scott's dining room table, both devouring his parmesan chicken and talking aimlessly about the latest news and gossip like a stereotypical domestic couple._

_"I have a question for you," said Scott, redirecting the current topic of conversation. He took a drip of his beer while looking at Kaylie cautiously. She picked around at the piece of chicken on the plate, giving him a questioning glance. Taking that as a cue to proceed, he swallowed a piece of his food. "Do you want to have kids one day?"_

_Kaylie gently placed the fork down on the place, wiping her mouth with her napkin. A long sigh escaped her lips, as she blinked away the hot tears in the corner of her eyes. "There's something you need to know, Scott," She choked, unable to suppress the tears escaping her red-rimmed eyes. Her hand clutched her shirt right above her heart, shaking her head furiously while denying Scott's outreached hand and concerned expression._

_"You're scaring me, babe. You can tell me anything, you know that." His smooth voice was reassuring, as Kaylie allowed him to wipe the tears slowly trickling down her suddenly pallid face._

_"I want kids, Scott, I do, but—" She paused, her bottom lip trembling so much it rendered her speechless. A muffled sob escaped her, her head dropping into her hands on the table._

_Scott immediately stood up and crouched in front of her, rubbing her thighs with his hand. "Take a few deeps breaths, Kaylie, it'll be okay. Tell me when you're ready."_

_She gulped, her salty tears creeping through the cracks in her lips. Her eyes tore away from Scott's hazel eyes that were filled with concern, unable to see the change in his expression. "There is a chance I can't have kids, Scott. I—" Kaylie's entire body began trembling, as she paused and attempted to recollect her thoughts._

_"What do you mean?" whispered Scott._

_"Fertility issues, they run in the family." She whispered, wiping away her tears and sniveling. "I'm essentially the miracle baby when my mom was told she had a reduced amount of viable eggs." A sob escaped her mouth, suddenly feeling Scott's arms wrap around her delicate figure. Her head found security in his neck, attempting to calm down the emotion built inside of her. The sobs began picking up at a rapid rate, her breathing becoming uneven to the point where Kaylie was within the bounds of hyperventilating._

_Scott held her tighter against his chest, having much experience in handling this sort of distress in a stressful situation. "Just breathe, Kaylie. Focus on your breathing." He pressed his lips up against her temple, running a hand through her soft blonde hair._

_"I might not be able to give you what you want, and that kills me," She cried into him. "I love you, I want to be with you, but I don't know if I can when—" Kaylie continued choking on her tears once again._

_He pulled away from her abruptly, desperately trying to find her eyes that were glued to the floor. Reaching up with his hand, Scott tilted Kaylie's chin upwards meeting her teary blue eyes. "This doesn't change the way I feel about you, darling. In fact, it makes me realize how much I love you and want a future with you."_

_"Even a future with potentially no kids?" She whispered. "Because I want you, Scott, I have never wanted anyone more in my entire life."_

_Scott swallowed nodding his head. "We don't know for sure if you can't have kids, so the only thing we can do is move forward and have hope. Watch, one day we are going to create a wonderful family together. A family that will fill every corner of our house, bringing us even more joy in our lives together even if it is through fostering or adopting. I love you, Kaylie and you are my future no matter what."_

_"I love you too, Scott," She whispered, closing the gap between them._

 

* * *

 

"I meant what I said at that moment, every word of it," continued Scott, emotion heavy in his voice. He rubbed his eyes, then proceeded to rest his arms on his knees to look over to Tessa. "I felt like I broke that promise to her, that I abandoned her when life became challenging."

Tessa sat there wordlessly, taking in the first part of the story and figuring out the right way to respond. For sharing such a sensitive story, Scott remained relatively mellow, which would deceive many people into thinking he didn't care. Tessa knew him better than most. Their years together had formulated a collective guide to interpret each tick of one another's body and facial expression, no words needed. Scott's natural, confident demeanor was slightly astray: shoulders slumped, and his brows furrowed together while he chewed on his lip. Scott felt guilt, an unease at what happened between him and Kaylie that his subconscious buried deep within him to try to prevent the painful reality.

Tessa understood the way a person would internalize everything because that was what she always did during their amateur figure skating career. The drive for perfection still topped her emotions, her mind letting her body go numb and take any conflict. Meanwhile, Scott was the one that let out the emotion for her, the perfect opposite of their strong partnership. The whole rink would know when he was upset, he used to never afraid to let it be known. For years, Scott was an open book. Unless it came to feelings for Tessa.

It could have been the obliviousness to boys being interested in her over the years or Scott continually saying that they were like "brother and sister" or a "platonic duo." Tessa's feelings were different but always agreed with what he said. So, she suppressed any ounce of romantic feelings for him, knowing that he had a girlfriend, and the infidelity to Cassandra was out of loneliness, not actual feelings. Except, Scott hid something deep inside of him to the point where she never caught on and remained in a state of shock when he told her how he really felt right before their comeback to competition. The moments of weakness that caused them to overstep boundaries was not just physical, it was out of love. They were each other's kryptonite at some point, but also each other's strength and motivation to push themselves to their limits. He too could internalize everything and live in a state of denial before his mind couldn't take it anymore. It was the final addition to her little book of understanding Scott.

As the former skating partners sat there in silence, Tessa felt her entire body drop understanding the emotions Scott was going through. Her whole heart reached out to him at this moment; he needed comfort because he never sought it before when it came to his problems with Kaylie. His hazel eyes said it all when they made eye contact, and Tessa let out the breath she was unconsciously holding.

Scooting closer to him, she outreached her hands, desperate to give him some sort of comfort. "You didn't give up on her," Tessa said softly. "Sometimes life throws hurdles at you and it doesn't end up the way you want it to. I'm sure the marriage wasn't always a hurdle."

Scott observed Tessa's outreached hands, stretching out one of his to find hers. Her tiny hands wrapped around his large one, giving him a smidge of reassurance that he didn't know he needed from her until now. "The first three months of our marriage were great. I felt at ease with the situation, not even thinking about starting a family with her. I was just thinking about her and how lucky I became to wake up to her every morning."

He quickly dropped what he was saying, sensing the slight hint of discomfort coming from Tessa. Their friendship hadn't been entirely the same since they ended things, both of them agreeing not to disclose too many details about their relationships. It made it easier and more bearable to accept that their romance had a way of not working out.

"What happened after three months?" asked Tessa, carefully eying him.

He shook his head, running his free hand through his soft hair. Pushing back the tears that were beginning to form in his eyes, Scott looked at Tessa calmly. "That is when she brought up kids, and we went to see a doctor finally," Scott paused, swallowing. "That is when my whole life fell apart."

 

* * *

 

_The drive home from the doctor's office was the worst drive of their lives. Every ounce of positivity they clung onto suddenly vanquished in a blank abyss when the doctor entered the room. Scott knew that the news wasn't right, as soon as his eyes found the doctor. In that single glance, the trajectory of their marriage took a turn towards a slippery slope. A slope that neither could turn back from._

_Scott's hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, the whites of his knuckles showing, taking in the quiet hum of the engine. Meanwhile, Kaylie sat in the passenger seat, her blonde head of hair resting against the window, while fat tears leaked out of the corners of her closed eyes. Neither knew what to say to each other to the point where silence felt like the only reasonable option._

_Every time Scott blinked, he heard the doctor's words echoing through his mind. "Unfortunately, the fertile egg count is unideal making the likelihood of conceiving incredibly low." He swallowed the enormous lump that formed in his throat, pushing back every ounce of emotion and trying to divert his attention to the drive home._

_The silence continued when they got home, barely exchanging a glance towards one another. Scott's entire body felt heavy as he followed Kaylie into the cold house, eying the backside of her carefully. Kaylie's whole body shook, to the point where her legs became wobbly with each step that she took. Out of pure instinct, Scott grabbed ahold of Kaylie's arm to steady her. Instead of her melting to his touched, she tensed and swung her arm away silently begging for space._

_"Kay—" He began, but she raised her hand up. Scott's feet suddenly felt glued to the floor, as he inquisitively watched her kick off her shoes and dump her purse on the bench. "Is there anything I can do?"_

_Kaylie's back faced him, but she shook her head furiously. "No, not right now. I need space, I need—" She paused, running a hand through her hair. "I'll be okay." After she finished her sentence, Kaylie turned around to face Scott._

_He choked back his own tears that were beginning to pool, burrowing his hands into his jean pockets. "This doesn't change the way I feel about you, Kay. I love you just as much as I did before we knew. We'll be okay."_

_"I love you too," whispered Kaylie._

_Scott did what Kaylie requested, he gave her the space she needed the rest of the night. She resorted to their bedroom, crying and processing the information, while he laid on the couch trying to distract his mind with stupid, plotless television shows. It didn't help numb the pain, the new reality that he may not get the opportunity to be a father. Sure, there were alternative means to becoming a father such as adoption or fostering, but right now that seemed far out of grasp._

_He needed someone to talk to about this; he needed Tessa. The only person, other than Kaylie that would listen to him and not judge. To try to understand the position he was coming from because she knew him. As well as she did when they were still together._

_Scott typed out a message to Tessa several times, following a pattern of typing, rephrasing, and deleting it. Should he do this? Things slowly changed between him and Tessa ever since they both settled down with other people. They still possessed that deep, eternal care for one another and the constant support for their future endeavors, but something unexplainable changed in their dynamic. They weren't Tessa and Scott, best friends for life, they were merely just Tessa and Scott two former skating partners that still were partially in each other's lives._

_The last time Scott laid eyes on her, she radiated new-found happiness. She and Mark just celebrated their first year of marriage, her job working with fashion designers in Toronto started taking off while continuing to create a perfect life with Mark. Tessa's life was so far fulfilled and everything she dreamed of doing. And up to this day, Scott's life had been that way too._

_He stared at the text message, nibbling on his lip and fiddling with his chain necklace wondering if he should send it. "What the fuck am I doing?" Scott muttered, deleting the text message and storing his phone back in his pocket. His head found his hands as he closed his watery eyes, letting the tears that stung his eyes begin to drop. The sobs seeping out of his lips started to become uncontrollable, as Scott allowed his entire body to succumb to the emotional pain it felt. That was the only thing he could do at this moment, just let it all out, before he would internalize it all._

_Hours later Scott crept up to their shared bedroom, opening up the door softly to find Kaylie fast asleep, physical and emotional exhaustion written on her face. Mascara marks were stained on her face, her hair tangled in knots, while used tissues and its empty tissue box were scattered across their bed. Scott took in the site from the doorway, his body starting to numb from the pain he recently let out, but still felt the cloud of emotion over their place._

_Slowly walking over to her, he started picking up the tissues and discarding them in their garbage can. A warm damp washcloth soon found her face, as he gently washed off the remainder of her makeup, while pressing kisses into her hairline. He effortlessly cradled her sleeping figure, barely causing her to stir, while he pulled back the comforter and tucked her in. Scott sat on the edge of their bed, stroking Kaylie's hair. "You would have been a great mom, Kay," He whispered, jaw ever-so-slightly clenched. "I'll be back before you wake up but know that I'm not angry at you. This was never your fault."_

_Scott's lips found her cheek before he stood up and changed into a fresh pair of clothes. Rubbing a hand over his face, he looked at Kaylie's sleeping figure one last time before grabbing his car keys. The only thing he wanted to do at this moment was run. Run from the emotional turmoil that plagued the house, moved from the pain his body felt._

_So, he ran. Ran to the bar and kept drinking until the whiskey didn't burn anymore, ignoring the weary bartender's remarks about giving him more to drink if Scott expected to drive home. He didn't care, nothing mattered more than to mask the pain and deny that today ever happened. This couldn't be his life._

 

* * *

 

Scott tore his eyes away from Tessa, as soon as he felt the stinging sensation of tears. Using his free hand, he wiped at his eyes and muttered something about a bug getting into his eyes. His entire body trembled, causing Tessa only to tighten her grip on his hands. Not only was Scott holding back emotions, but Tessa also subdued her own tears. Every part of her body ached wanting more than ever to hold Scott, her mind seeing him as the little kid she spent her entire life growing up with.

Tessa hated herself for letting the friendship continue to become strained. In many ways, it all felt like her fault for not reaching out and reconnecting. For allowing the divide grow so unbearable neither felt the need to mention their life changes.

"Scott—" Tessa started, her voice quickly fading.

Scott was quick to continue to the conversation. "I still can never forgive myself for that day, for returning to alcohol to drown out my sorrows instead of facing my problems like a man." He couldn't hold back his emotion any further, letting a tear slowly trip down his face.

Tessa closed her eyes letting out a long sigh. "Oh, Scott. Don't be that hard on yourself."

"I feel like I need to because I screwed up again. That night I wasn't the man that you always believed I could be or the man that Kaylie fell in love with. I was acting like a teenager trapped in a thirty-year old's body due to my own selfish denial that the world was against me becoming a father." A few more tears began trickling down his face, causing Tessa to start wiping them away gently.

"You're still the man I always thought you would become, father or not," She whispered.

He shook his head leaning back in his chair, causing Tessa's hands to fall out of reach. "That night didn't just start the beginning of the end of my marriage, it also made me lose my best friend."

Scott's red-rimmed eyes immediately met Tessa's, whose eyes began leaking their own tears. "I lost you, Tess. I threw away our two decades worth of friendship due to my own selfishness. I'm sorry for that night, you don't know how sorry I am." His words were nearly inaudible, as the sobs and the tears picked up.

Tessa's petite figure immediately stood up, hovering over him. She perched herself on the edge of his chair, wrapping her arms around his body and pulling him close to his chest. "We don't need to discuss what happened with us, at least not right now," She whispered, feeling his own hands wrap around her waist and his head become buried around her stomach. Each one of his sobs echoed throughout her body, as Tessa's own tears began soaking her face.

Tessa's hands began stroking his hair, out of pure instinct, trying to comfort and soothe him. He didn't deserve this, not what after happened that night between them. "I'm sorry, I thought I could tell the full story without crying," Scott wearily said, once some of his sobs died down.

"I'm happy you're telling me," said Tessa, pulling away from him.

Her teary eyes met Scott's teary ones, both letting out the breath they were unintentionally holding. Scott unwrapped one of his arms from Tessa's waist, reaching over to help wipe her own tears. His hand rested on the crook of her jaw, using his thumb to delicately wipe away her tears while not doing much to stop his own. "Don't cry, Tess, you know how much I hate it," He whispered, continuing to rest his hand on Tessa's face.

Tessa's heart fluttered slightly, using both of her hands to wipe away Scott's tears. "I could say the same myself."

A half-hearted smile swept across her face, both of them remaining still and holding onto each other. Their proximity with each other was the closest it had been in years, both feeling content and ignoring any hint of awkwardness. Scott's other free hand migrated towards the back of Tessa's neck, his thumb gliding over her smooth skin to send chills done Tessa's spine.

"Sometimes I feel like this is all my fault," Scott admitted.

She continued looking at him carefully, slowly finding herself drifting from the arm of the chair into his lap. "The only person you need to forgive is yourself. Some things are out of your control, and the only thing you can do is continue this new way of life. Kaylie's inability to have children was not your fault, the divorce was not your fault."

"I could have done more for her." Scott's eyes continued to water as he began to blink away the tears rapidly. "And I wasn't just referring to Kaylie, I was referring to us too."

Tessa's breathe caught, her hand running through his soft hair. "Scott Patrick Moir, I promise you that wasn't your fault. If anything, it was mine and every time I look back at what happened, I—" She paused biting her lip.

"Tess--" He breathed to her, their noses just centimeters apart from touching. "You found Mark, and he made you feel like the luckiest girl in the world."

There were many things Tessa wanted to tell him at this moment. She tried to tell him what caused her to leave him when things got hard, her secret that kept him in the dark all of these years, and the reason why she came to talk to him at the bar. Scott convinced himself that it was all his fault that their relationship and friendship fell apart the past few years, but in reality, it was all her fault.

"Scott, Mark wasn't the only person who made me—" She stopped, after hearing a voice calling through the apartment.

"Mommy? Where are you?" She called.

Scott smiled at her, pulling away from their dangerously close proximity. Tessa sighed and stood up, adjusting her shirt and giving him a smile. "Mom duty calls. I'll be right back." Tessa squeezed Scott's shoulder, giving him a small grin over her shoulder before disappearing through the open balcony door.

Ella sat on the ground in Scott's living room already managing to dig out her array of toys that she managed to put inside of her backpack. Her little hands held onto the iPad already playing a dress-up game, while Rufus sat next to her hip chewing on one of his toys. Tessa smiled at the sight, already seeing her little girl bonded with Scott's dog.

"How was your nap sweetheart?" asked Tessa, kneeling down in front of Ella.

"Good, Rufus was with me," grinned Ella. Her bright and alert eyes quickly darkened, when she noticed Tessa's puffy red eyes. Pouting, she placed her iPad on the ground and put both hands on either side of Tessa's face. "Mommy, why are you crying?"

Tessa let out a short laugh, shaking her head. "Scott is feeling very sad right now, Ella, which made me sad. This wasn't about Daddy, so don't worry about that." Tessa's stomach clench at the mention of Mark to Ella, which she had always worded carefully. She didn't want to shield the truth behind Mark's death from Ella but knew there was a proper way to talk about death and how to handle it with her daughter.

Ella bounced her head up and down, but her eyes narrowed. "Is Scott sad because we are here?" Tessa's daughter questioned. Her head tilted to the sides, an expression filled with curiosity and slight panic. "Because I really like him."

A giggle escaped Tessa, her eyes forming wrinkles, as a huge grin spread across her face. It was the innocent and cute questions from Ella that would always cheer her up no matter what. "Of course not, he is happy to have us here. Do you know what will make him feel better?"

Ella shook her head, with a big frown spread on her face.

Tessa stood up and reached out her hand for Ella's. "How about you go give him a big hug and give him the drawing you made for him? I think that will make Scott very happy."

Ella was quick to oblige, and as soon as she stood up, Rufus stopped chewing his toy giving them both a curious glance. Hand in hand, Tessa grabbed the drawing from her purse and placed it in Ella's open hand before leading them into their guest room. The balcony door remained opened, both feeling the cool summer breeze drifting through the spacious apartment. Peeking around the corner of the door, Tessa saw that Scott was still sitting in the same spot looking emotionally drained.

"Go get him, Ella. Don't be shy," instructed Tessa. She released the grip from her daughter's hand and ushered her out the door, feeling Rufus brush up against her leg to sit and watch the scene unfold.

She sighed and sat down on the bed, observing Ella's hesitant walk turn into an eager one. The connection between Ella and Scott was natural and undeniable, causing Tessa's heart to ache even more. The natural tendency Scott had towards children was palpable, with Tessa seeing the desire pooling in his eyes throughout the years.

She recalled the time she drove him to the hospital when his niece had been born. He was drinking with some friends when he got the call that his sister-in-law was in the hospital. Excitement radiated through Scott when he got to hold his niece, the longing evident to hold his own child in his arms in the hospital one day. He never got that wish, at least not now. "Maybe one day you will have a daughter," whispered Tessa, even though he was nowhere in sight.

 

* * *

 

_The move to Montreal was more hectic than either initially expected. Shortly after the news of the small chance of conceiving, both Kaylie and Scott decided to relocate to Montreal after a job offer from Marie-France and Patrice came up. It was what both needed to get a fresh start and continue navigating through the tension the fertility issue created. They were still trying, clinging onto hope that a miracle would happen, while subtly talking about adopting a baby._

_They were in Montreal for less than two weeks, already in full renovation mode to their fixer-upper house they purchased. Kaylie was preoccupied with settling into the new interior design company during the day while figuring out the renovations in the evening with Scott. They both lost track of the days during the stress of the move and settling into the city and new jobs, that the thought of Kaylie having her period was far from both of their minds._

_It wasn't until Scott came home from work that day, that this matter was brought to his attention. Kaylie sat at the kitchen table, her hands folded in front of her and a massive grin on her face. Scott jumped at the sight, not expecting her to be home so early from work. His eyes widened at her, placing his work bag carefully on the ground._

_"Kay, what are you doing home from work?" He questioned._

_"I'm late," Kaylie replied._

_Scott raised one eyebrow in confusion while walking over towards the kitchen to get a glass of water. "Well if you're referring to being late for work, then yeah you are. Six hours late to be exact." The sarcasm was evident in his voice, as he put some ice in his glass. "You want some water?"_

_Kaylie shook her head, biting her lip. "I'm two weeks late to be exact." Her glance moved over to meet his eyes, as he froze in place._

_His glass remained placed in front of the fridge filling up with water, not noticing that the water reached the edge of the glass. The cold sensation of the water seeping through his socks caused him to jump back swearing under his breathe. When he finally contained himself to look towards Kaylie, his eyes began watering up. "Wh-what? Is that normal?" Scott stuttered out. "No, of course, it isn't normal. I—"_

_"I got a test, just to see," She whispered, holding up the unopened pregnancy test that was hidden on her lap. "I don't want to get your hopes up, but I thought you should be here when I do this and—"_

_Scott leaped towards her, grabbing her out of the kitchen seat. He hugged her tightly, pressing multiple kisses on her lips. "I love you, Kaylie, and I know we will be ready. This will be our miracle."_

_Except it wasn't their miracle._

_Scott nervously paced in front of the closed bathroom door, his hand running through his hair, and sweat droplets beginning to build on his forehead. His heart felt like it could explode in his chest, as he anxiously waited for Kaylie to emerge from the bathroom. At one point, Scott was determined to follow Kaylie directly to the toilet, but she shoved him out of the bathroom and gently closed the door. So, for now, he paced, continually asking Kaylie for an update._

_"You are going to give me a heart attack, Kay. Please let me in." His leaned against the door, trying to hear what was going on._

_Moving away from the door when he heard footsteps, his heart raced in anticipation. As the door of the bathroom crept open, Kaylie's face was red and streaming with tears slowly, her body collapsing to the ground. It was not tears of joy, but tears of grief knowing that it wasn't a miracle. "I'm so sorry, Scott. I really thought," She sobbed hysterically into the carpet, curled up in a ball. "I can't do this, I can't continue trying."_

_"Kay," His voice shattering into pieces. He knelt on the ground, his hands rubbing her back listening to her cry. "Don't say that we still have other options to go through."_

_"No, Scott. I don't want to have kids, I don't want to explore other options," whispered Kaylie._   
_Scott thought that it was the vulnerability echoing from Kaylie, that she would change her mind the next day. Yet, with every passing week, she became more adamant that she didn't want children. And in those moments between him and Kaylie, Scott realized that they had changed and not for the better._

 

* * *

 

Scott sat on the balcony in silence, taking in the emotions he finally let out. The sobs suppressed, but the tears continued silently falling down his cheek as he stared out into the city. Scott didn't intend to delve that far into what happened between him and Kaylie, hell his parents barely knew the surface of the story, but there was something about being around Tessa again. The comfort and trust he spent over twenty years building with her, was suddenly instilled again. Scott knew she would listen, he knew she wouldn't judge, and he knew that she would open up her arms to him when he needed it. She was the same Tessa he knew, despite the life changes she had been through in a short amount of time.

His thoughts were quickly interrupted when he heard the pitter-patter of footsteps walking through the guest bedroom and out onto the balcony. He turned his head to see Ella shyly rounding the corner, staring at him with her intense jade colored eyes clutching onto a piece of paper.

"Scott? Why are you sad?" asked Ella innocently, her sweet voice ringing in his ears.

Scott wiped away the tears from his eyes, still feeling the water brimming in the corners. "I thought about a sad story today, that is all. Did you have a good nap, kiddo?" The term of endearment slipping from his tongue flawlessly, his mind not giving it a second thought.

Ella nodded her head. "Rufus was with me."

"He loves napping, especially on the couch," replied Scott, trying to find a lightness to his voice. Yet the tone came across more as heavy with emotion.

Her expression remained curious, as she intently stared at Scott's face with the same look Tessa gave him for all of those years. She slowly walked over to him, her body slightly trembling. "Do you want a hug? Mommy says hugs make everything better."

"I would love a hug."

Scott stared at the girl, his heart feeling bittersweet as he extended his arms open to Tessa's daughter. She fit perfectly inside of his chest, pressing her cheek up against his. The sadness he felt talking about the divorce and fertility issues suddenly began to fade, as his last tears fell from the corners of his eyes. Ella pulled back from the hug slightly, after feeling the water touch her cheek. Her tiny fingers started wiping away the tears from his face causing him to smile and continue having watery eyes.

"Stop crying, Scott," instructed Ella.

He let out a laugh, nodding his head and pulling her into a hug again. Scott didn't notice Tessa peeking out from around the corner with a warm smile plastered on her face. Instead, he stared at the little girl that continued immersing herself into his life with each passing day. Eventually, he saw the piece of paper that was still in her tiny grip. "What is this that you are holding?"

Ella's ivory cheeks started during a shade of pink, as she looked down at it. "I drew it for you. I hope you like it." Her cheeks continued flushing as she revealed the drawing to Scott, with proudness radiating from her. "It is me and you cooking pasta, so you remember."

Scott stared at Ella, letting her readjust so she was sitting on his lap. Both of his arms were wrapped around her, encompassing her small frame. "Oh yeah? I think we have an artist in the making. This is by far the best drawing I have ever seen."

"Really?" said Ella, her face lighting up completely.

Scott nodded his head, beaming at her. "Definitely."

A few moments passed, both enjoyed each other's company. Ella managed to press herself firmly against Scott's chest while gazing out at the city. He pointed out different buildings, including Gadbois, and kept telling her about how many lights are in the city once the sun sets. He talked about the things he enjoys doing in Montreal when he isn't working, even mentioning a park that they could walk to tomorrow. She stared in amazement, while Scott grinned at her, neither noticing that Tessa slowly crept onto the balcony.

"Are you happy now?" asked Ella.

"Thanks to you," He replied giving her a kiss on the head.

As he pulled away from Ella's head, he saw Tess leaning up against the doorframe with a small smile on her face. His eyes shot panic, wondering if he overstepped his boundaries with Ella, but a slight nod from Tessa gave him all the reassurance he needed. Clearing his throat, he adjusted Ella in his lap. "How about I make you and your mom pizza, and we watch a movie? You get to pick."

 

* * *

 

Within two hours, the three of them sat on Scott's couch watching Toy Story. Ella sat between Tessa and Scott, while Rufus laid happily on the floor enjoying the quiet night in. The entire rest of the night quickly faded into bliss from the high amount of vulnerability and emotion before, with Scott taking in every moment of this new sense of peace. Tessa, also, seemed at ease and happy, giggling along with Ella and Scott.

As the movie progressed Ella's eyelids slowly got heavier barely being able to keep them open. Her body began slouching, pressing up against Scott who wordlessly wrapped an arm around her. She didn't even last through the entire movie. Neither Tessa or Scott said a word at Ella's drowsiness, both continuing to watch a cherished Disney movie, laughing at exchanges between Buzz and Woody and shaking their head at Sid. In some ways, it felt like old times.

"Tess?" He asked once the end credits rolled up.

"Yeah?" She breathed, looking over at Ella cuddled up next to Scott.

"Thank you for today, for listening to it all," He said.

She nodded. "Of course, Scott. You were there for me when I needed you the most so this was just the minimum of what I can do for you." Tessa's gaze continued being fixed on her sleeping daughter, whose head had fallen into Scott's lap. "She really likes you. I have never seen her warm up to someone so quickly. Usually, she is shy around strangers, I guess she gets that from me."

He looked down at Ella, stroking her soft curls. "She's incredible, Tess. You and Mark created someone so beautiful inside and out. I know she will do great things, just like her mother." Out of the corner of his eye, he made eye contact with Tessa. "You don't know how much this meant to me today, after telling you about what happened between Kaylie and me."

"I think I almost know how much it meant," Tessa beamed.

They let several moments pass in silence, taking in the calm they both felt.

Tessa was the first one to break the silence. "Do you want to help me get her to sleep?"

"Of course, T."

Soon enough Scott picked up Ella, careful to not wake her, and carried her into the guest room. The two simultaneously got Ella into her pajamas, with Scott laying Ella down on the bed and Tessa tucking her in and pressing a kiss to her cheek. They both smiled at each other before tiptoeing away from the bed. They stared at the sleeping girl's innocent face, both feeling at ease.

In many ways it was perfect. And to both of them, it felt like this was a glimpse into the future they once dreamed of having together.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed and survived this chapter! This was an emotionally draining chapter to write, but I don't regret it at all. Thank you to my beta reader, who I tortured reading this chapter repeatedly. 
> 
> Comments are always appreciated. I try to respond to every one of them! Thanks for the kudos too. :)


	7. I Knew You'd Skate Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott takes Tessa and Ella to Gadbois and teaches Ella how to skate.

_Scott sat near one of the back tables at the soon to be engagement party. His index finger aimlessly circled the rim of his glass of red wine, his anxiety stirring deep within him. He was okay with Tessa marrying Mark. In fact, Mark even expressed to Scott one night about his desire to marry her (Tessa had been off dancing drunkenly with Jordan and Danny in the distance of her cottage). He remembered that conversation, he recalled being slightly taken aback, but at the same time feeling okay._

_So now he sat in this winery, waiting for Tessa and Mark to show up to celebrate their future together. Their families were up further near the doors talking, laughing, and enjoy their drinks. He knew at least half of the room, the extroverted part of him wanted to speak, but something was holding him back. Deep inside his subconscious, he wondered why this wasn't him and Tessa. He knew her reasons for her leaving, and he came to accept they were better off as friends, but that didn't cause him to return the ring that he got for her. To not think about this very same day, two years that he originally planned to propose to her._

_Sighing, he took a long sip of wine feeling the burning and tingly sensation flow down his throat. Not noticing Patrick Chan breaking away from his wife after seeing Scott's pouted face. Chiddy nudged Scott's arm, disrupting him from the thoughts, before taking the seat opposite of him._

_"For a self-claimed extrovert, you are being quite the life of the party," sarcastically said Chiddy. He took a sip of his wine, before trying to find Scott's eyes which remained glued to the wine glass. "Do I need to call you Scotty to get your attention?"_

_Scott scoffed and shook his head, moving his eyes up to Chiddy. "Only my mother can get away with calling me that, and you know it." He gave his friend a half-hearted smile, taking another sip of his wine._

_Chiddy laughed shaking his head. The two friends gazed out at the crowd, watching Meghan and Kaetlyn chatting happily and laughing. It felt nice to see their friends made from skating all reunited to celebrate Tessa, but at the same time something felt off in the air. Chiddy knew, so did every other skater there, that this was supposed to be for Scott and Tessa. Not just Tessa. In fact, no one really knew what indeed happened. Other than it just didn't work out._

_"Are you okay?" whispered Chiddy, just loud enough so Scott could hear over the voices and laughter. "Okay about all of this?" He gestured around the room._

_"Yeah, I think I am," said Scott. "Just reflecting on what could have been, that's all."_

_Sadness fell on Chiddy's face, as he frowned and took a sip. "Everything happens for a reason, even if you don't understand. I know it's a shitty answer, but remember everything that happened before and after Sochi? If that silver medal didn't happen, you wouldn't have had the success you did at PyeongChang."_

_Scott chuckled. "Who knew that Chiddy would have the words of wisdom years later."_

_"You always do not know what the future holds. What if—"_

_"No, you can't go there," swallowed Scott. "Tess and I... .we are past that romance. We know that the only thing we can do for each other is remain friends. That path won't be traveled down again. She has moved on and is happy, and I have moved on."_

_Chiddy stared at Scott for a long time, shaking his head, and angrily placing the wine glass on the table. "You are full of shit, Scott Moir."_

_"Excuse me?" Scott said utterly taken aback._

_"You heard me. You, my friend, are full of shit. If you have moved on, then why the fuck do you still cling onto that engagement ring with her grandmother's refurbished one-carat diamond?" Chiddy hissed, making sure no one else nearby could hear._

_Scott's face turned red, his lips pursing with receded initial anger. He thought about the ring, the diamond which he obtained from Kate when Tessa took off to Mexico for a girls' trip. It was the final piece to the puzzle to complete the ring he carefully crafted for Tessa, the ring he couldn't wait to give her. Scott knew that him and Tessa over, but something could never get him to part from the ring he continued to hide in his home carefully._

_Blinking away any ounce of emotional grief, he stared into Chiddy's dark eyes. "That ring is meant for her regardless of if we are together or not." He choked back the words, taking another sip of his liquid courage._

_"You are never going to be able to move on from her if that ring sits in your house," stated Chiddy. He arched his back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. "That will hold you back from moving on, which you need to do. You cannot live the rest of your life hung up over Tessa Virtue when you didn't continue fighting for her."_

_Scott bobbed his head up and down, knowing that Chiddy was right. That ring was tying him away from finding a new type of happiness, a soulmate, and someone that understood him as well as Tessa did. If she could find someone, that she perhaps connected within the same capacity as Scott, then there was someone for him. "Then take it from me," said Scott through his teeth. "I don't care what you do with it, Chiddy, but you have to be the one to take it from me."_

_As soon as Scott stopped saying those words, the door opened to the crowd cheering for Tessa and Mark. His head turned, immediately meeting eyes with Tessa. She radiated happiness and love, her hair in curls and shiny, while she wore a short white dress to flaunt her lean physique. Mark stood next to her, their hands interweaved like a puzzle piece. He saw the two-carat oval shaped Tiffany ring glimmering in the light, swallowing at the thought of Mark proposing. Later that night, Chiddy came by his place and took the ring Scott buried in the depths of his drawer. The ring that he surely would never see again, the ring Tessa would never know about._

_"Maybe in another lifetime," murmured Scott, watching his friend and the ring drive off._

 

* * *

 

Scott woke up the next morning, eyes swollen and aching from the events yesterday. Letting out a low groan, he reached out his arm to find the phone on his nightstand barely shifting his body. Silencing his alarm, he rolled over onto his back staring at the ceiling wondering if it had all been a dream. It hadn't. The realization caused him to take a sharp breath in and run both hands down his face, muttering incoherent sentences underneath his hands.

He didn't know how long he laid in bed when he heard soft footsteps echoing through the hallway. Arching an eyebrow, he gazed through the slightly cracked door to his bedroom wondering why Tessa would be up at this hour. He sat out in bed, letting out a long stretch before looking at Rufus who was in a deep sleep on the edge of his king-sized bed.

"You don't know how lucky you are," muttered Scott. He proceeded to grab the phone off his charger, then looked at the several emails regarding the high-intensity training camp that was set to happen in a few weeks. It went over the rules and schedule, as well as what the coaches needed to provide before the performances. The usual stuff that always was slightly disorganized.

His thoughts were in a different place that he didn't even hear the door creak open to his bedroom. It wasn't until the same light footsteps reached the edge of his bed, that he looked over and saw the wonder and mesmerized gaze in Ella's jade eyes. Sir Bunchkin's was tightly bound against her chest, her face starting to turn a light hue of red when she made eye contact with Scott.

"Hi," shyly said Ella, her voice nearly inaudible from murmuring into her stuffed animal. Rufus woke up, alert at hearing Ella's voice, already wagging his tail and scooting towards the edge of the bed to greet her. A tiny laugh escaped Ella, as she reached out to give him a large pet.

"What are you doing up so early, kiddo?" asked Scott, stunned that Ella managed to wake up at this ungodly hour. She definitely did not get that from her mother.

Ella shrugged. "I always wake up before Mommy. Then I watch TV or play with toys until she wakes up."

Scott nodded letting out a grin. "Well, you are more than welcome to do that here. Do you want me to put on the kids' channel for you or a movie?" He shifted his body to prop it against the headboard a little more firmly, knowing that he needed to go through some emails before he got ready for practice.

"Not really," said Ella shuffling back and forth on her feet. "What are you doing?"

"Taking care of some important things on my phone before I get ready to go to the rink," replied Scott. He looked at Ella carefully, who seemed to be slightly lost. The well-mannered nature in Ella was slowly creeping out, even at a young age, not wanting to overstep in his apartment. "Want to join me??" Scott patted the place next to him, with Rufus wagging his tail excessively.   
Ella nodded, gliding over to the side of the bed Scott was on maneuvering her body to climb on top of the elevated bed. Without anything thought, Ella pressed her body against Scott's arm leaning on his shoulder let out a content sigh. She gazed over at Scott's phone and continued looking up at his face, while his free arm worked its way around Ella's body giving one of her shoulders a slight rub.   
  
"I think Mommy came here just to see you. You make her smile the way Daddy did," stated Ella.

Scott glanced up from his phone to look at Tessa's daughter. She stared at Scott, the determination for reassurance at her inquisition mirroring the look he knew so well from Tessa. Scott let out a sigh, giving Ella a rub on the back, shrugging his shoulders. "Oh yeah? I'm sure I don't make her smile the same way your daddy did."

Ella nodded her head. "You're right. You make her smile more."

Scott froze, unsure how to respond. It felt like an eternity with Ella sitting there in his arms, her entire body beckoning for a response. He knew it felt wrong to feel overjoyed, mainly since he wasn't close to being Ella's father or anything more than friends with Tessa. Scott ran a hand through his medium length hair letting out a long sigh.

"Right now, it is my job is to make sure that your mommy smiles all the time, so she isn't sad thinking about your daddy." Scott swallowed, stroking Ella's hair that had the same softness to it like Tessa's.

"But you made her cry," Ella said, curiosity sparking her eyes. "Why?"

He nodded, jaw slightly clenched. "We were both sad about something in the past, but it is okay now. I promise your mommy won't cry again with me."

"I believe you, Scott. But you need to make Mommy happy," Ella said, her voice cracking.

Tears started forming in her eyes, quickly burying them in her little hands. Scott tensed immediately, placing his phone down and wrapping both arms around her delicate frame. He rested his head on top of her head, rocking her back and forth slowly. "Remember what I said at the park, Ella?"

She sniveled, wiping her nose. "That you will always be here."

"Exactly. That hasn't changed. I will always be here for you two. I won't let anything happen to you or your mommy." Scott's own tone began to get shaky. He pressed his lips to Ella's forehead, hearing her sigh at the feeling. They sat there like that for a long time, the depths of their subconscious wondering if they will ever be a family.   
  
"Maybe one day," Ella sighed, letting her subconscious thoughts drift out of her mouth.

"What was that, kiddo?" murmured Scott. His lips remained pressed to her hair, as he held her tightly against his chest. The time and how soon he had to be at work were far from his mind, wanting more than anything to freeze time and hold Ella. Something was soothing about her presence that caused all his worries and doubts to go away. She was the type of daughter he always dreamed of raising, innocent, kind, funny, and virtually perfect. God, he still wanted fatherhood.

"Nothing, my secret," Ella said.

Scott let out a faint chuckle, giving Ella a kiss on her forehead. "I have to go to work soon, kiddo. Do you think you should wake up your mother?"

Ella scrunched up her nose. "No, she had trouble sleeping."

He raised a brow, a slow smiling forming on the corners of his lips. If someone were to tell him years ago, when Tessa and Mark got engaged, that he would be in this very moment he would have laughed. Never did he think he would be cuddled with Tessa and Mark's daughter in his bed, while Tessa slept in the other room alone. Life was unexpected, continually causing forks in the road or diversions in the path and some new paths came unexpectedly. His stare at Ella and her innocence, while her little hand clutched his white nightshirt made him wonder that maybe, in some twisted, fucked-up way this was the path his life had always been destined to take.

Maybe, perhaps, Mark knew that this was Scott's destiny.

 

* * *

 

_Scott remembered the day Mark approached him. Mark and Tessa's wedding was quickly approaching, and the wedding party was having a fun weekend at the Virtue cottage. As Jordan and Tessa drunkenly danced near the firepit with the other bridesmaids and groomsmen, Scott hovered in the distance enjoying a beer by the fire. He was slightly taken aback when he was asked to be a part of this wedding, especially considering his past with Tessa, but Tessa and Mar were adamant that he needed to be in the wedding party._

_"Mind if I take a seat?" asked Mark, approaching with a fresh bottle of beer. He pointed towards the other Muskoka chair, then took his seat next to Scott once he nodded his head. "Everyone certainly loves to party." Mark opened up his beer, then took a swig of it, looking over at Scott._

_"Tessa was never one to deny a dance party," Scott joked. "Are you prepared for the decades of dance parties in the kitchen?"_

_Mark chuckled, shaking his head. "Always. She can always get me to dance, no matter how tired I am after work."_

_Scott nodded, letting the silence fall between them. Mark and Scott immediately hit off their friendship, the first time Tessa brought Mark to the weekly coffee outings. He was charming, enthusiastic, and had good energy coming from him. A power that intermingled perfectly with Tessa's, that Scott noticed from the start. He was kind to her, treated her the way that any man should handle her. And she was happy, especially when Mark and Scott became fast friends. Although, the hint of awkwardness still floated in the air between them knowing Scott's past with Tessa._

_"Can you promise me something, Scott?" asked Mark, breaking the silence._

_Scott took a long drink of beer, resting it on the chair's arm looking over at Mark curiously. "Yeah, of course. What is it?"_

_Mark gazed at him intently, a bit of sadness in his eyes. "Hopefully this will never happen, but promise me, that if anything ever happens to me that you will protect Tessa and be there for her. And if we have a family at this point, be there for my children."_

_"Of course, Mark, I promise," replied Scott immediately. "Why me?"_

_Tessa's fiancé gave him a small smile. "We are the only two people on earth that know her inside and out. If I can't do it, then you need to and if the capacity of being there for her causes other things to happen, know that I will be okay with it."_

_"Mark—"_

_He held up his hand, cutting off Scott. "I'm praying to God this never happens to me, but I'm looking out for my girl. She deserves to be happy at all times, and I hope that you could fill that void for me if I'm gone too soon."_

_Scott stared intently at Mark, nodding his head slowly. "I promise, Mark. I won't let your girl ever live a day without smiling and laughing."_

 

* * *

 

Scott stood in the doorway of Tessa's temporary bedroom, after opening it slowly for Ella. After looking at the time and realizing that he needed to head to the rink soon, he convinced Ella to wake up her mother. It was a daunting task, for anyone, with Scott still inadvertently knowing that no one would want to wake up Tessa this early when she didn't necessarily need to wake up.

He gazed in at Tessa's sleeping body. She was laying on her side partially curled up in a ball with the comforter pulled up underneath her chin. Despite her clear restless night, a look of peace was clearly evident on her face, and in a way, it almost appeared as if she was smiling. Ella quietly climbed on the better, moving under Tessa's arm that was splayed over the mattress causing her to shift slightly in her sleep but never full wake.

"Mommy," whispered Ella, her hands finding either side of Tessa's face. "It is time to wake up."

"According to who?" murmured Tessa, immediately causing Scott to let out a silent chuckle and shake his head. Typical Tessa behavior in the morning that hadn't changed since he first met her.

"Scott has to work, and I don't want to be alone."

Tessa's eyes slowly fluttered open to gaze at her daughter, not noticing Scott hovering nearby. A smile crept up on her face after seeing her daughter. "How long have you been awake for love?" She asked her daughter, leaning in to give Ella a kiss on the nose. "Did you play with your toys?"

Ella shook her head. "No, I sat with Scott and saw him work on his phone. Are we going with him?"

"Ella, we can't invite ourselves to where he works even though I know the people there. How about we walk to the nearby park today or go shopping while he works?" Tessa replied, still barely stirring from her position.

Her daughter let out a loud huff, sitting up to cross her arms against her chest. She looked over at Scott, who was about to leave and give them some privacy. "That sounds boring. Scott, can I come to work with you?"

"If your mother is okay with it," said Scott.

Tessa moved her head to peer over at Scott hovering in the doorway. He changed into a pair of sweatpants and a "Team Canada" jacket, looking even more like the Scott she knew, her Scott in a sense. She thought about the months of him giving her as much time as possible to sleep in the mornings before Scott would wake her up to get ready. He was always ready to go in a "Team Canada" shirt and his black pants, holding her skate bag and morning smoothie when she emerged from the room.

She blushed realizing how long her stare at his appearance escalated to, before sitting up in bed and smoothing down her untamed hair. "Ella, it will be a lot of watching on the bench. Besides you don't know how to skate."

Scott's mouth dropped open hearing those words. He knew Ella was only three going on four, but he remembered learning how to skate as soon as he was able to walk. "Tess, you haven't taken her out on the ice once?" He sputtered out, interrupting the conversation before Tessa could respond.

Tessa met his hazel eyes, with grimacing at his astonishment. "In all honesty, I haven't been out on the ice since we wrapped out last Stars on Ice tour." He gave her a look and ran a hand through his hair, turning around slightly to walk down the hallway. "Scott, you know I could never skate on the ice without you there." Her tone turned soft, with a hint of longing in her tone, as if she had not exaggerated. It really had been that long.

"Please Mommy, please," pleaded Ella. "I want to learn how to skate."

He turned around at the sound of Ella's voice, staring right at Tessa. "Tess, I know this last minute but think of how happy Marie-France and Patch will be. Also, Sam will be joining practice about one point to go over new choreography—" He paused, seeing Tessa twitch slightly.

She looked back and forth between Ella and Scott several times, before letting out a long sigh. A slightly nervous hand ran through her hair, trying to get out tangles trying to process her thoughts. In all honesty, Tessa never even considered teaching Ella how to skate at a young age. She figured that she would sign Ella up for figure skating lessons when she began kindergarten, as an after-school activity but never thought anything more than that. So, she sat in Scott's guest bed staring at her former skating partner and her pleading daughter, knowing that her decision was automatically made.

"Give me fifteen minutes. Will that work?" Tessa said replying to Scott before he could even finish what he was going to ask.

A smile lit up his face, as he expressed his enjoyment as well as saying that some pairs of skates would be perfect for Ella and Tessa to wear. "How about I make a quick breakfast while you girls get ready? How do eggs and toast sound, Ella?"

"Hey, don't I get a say?" giggled Tessa pulling back to the covers to climb out of bed. Ella followed along too, immediately helping gather up the décor pillows that were splattered on the hardwood floor. Out of instinct, Tessa began making the bed rather quickly while glancing over at Scott who had a sly grin.

"Because I know you Tessa and I know that you will always eat that meal no matter what," He pointed out.

Tessa stuck her tongue out at him, then listened to his echoed laughter down the hall. She heard the pitter-patter of Rufus following Scott, the clinking of the dog bowl while he fed his dog, and the Tragically Hip blasting through his kitchen. Something stirred inside of Tessa at this moment, as she picked out an appropriate outfit for Ella and herself while listening to Scott's quick movements in the kitchen. The stir was a feeling of ease and calm, and she suddenly realized this was the first morning where she didn't wake up thinking about Mark.

 

* * *

 

_"Do you not skate anymore then? Not even just for fun?" asked Mark._

_It was their sixth date, and things were progressing well, in some ways it felt as if their connection occurred almost too well. Most of Tessa's dates in the past ended up as failures, usually with her dragging her flushed red self to Scott's apartment and ultimately sleeping with him. Few men would even get a chance to kiss her especially since she knew right away that if they worth getting to know. Mark was different. He knew how to make her laugh to the point where tears were in his eyes, he genuinely cared to get to know her and not in her pants, and always acted like the perfect gentlemen. Mark was worth getting to know, he was someone that she visualized a future with._

_Tessa put her fork down gently on the plate, swallowing her food, and taking a sip of her chardonnay. "No, after the last Stars on Ice tour to officially finish out our retirement and end or skating partnership it just—" She paused trying to find the right words to explain to someone who didn't know what it was like to always share the ice with someone. It wasn't someone random, it was Scott._

_Every aspect of the rink and skating she associated with Scott. The cut of the blade on the ice, the sound of the Zamboni smoothing it down, and the sudden rush of cold air when walking through the doors that led to the rink. Scott was there right from the start, skating in circles with other kids when her blades hit the ice for her very first lesson. She never wanted to be without him on the ice. It was a complicated thing to explain, especially considering their breakup that happened months ago. It may have changed their off-ice relationship, but it would never change how she felt when she saw the ice._

_"It's complicated," sighed Tessa. She scrunched up her nose and furrowed her brows, letting out a long, relaxed breath. "I will forever love the ice, but now I have decided to move on from it. Focus on other areas of my life that I have been passionate about."_

_Mark nodded, not pressing for more information. "I respect that. Sometimes things change in your life, and you have to give something up to adapt and grow. It is the willingness to accept the change that is key, which many people fail to realize." His blue eyes moved to meet Tessa's, who was chewing on her lip. "Sorry, I hope I didn't insult you."_

_She let out a low giggle, shaking her head. "No, you didn't." Tessa gave him a toothy grin, picking up her fork and resuming her meal. "I hope I'm not ruining any plans for you to take me ice skating because—"_

_Mark held up his hand while shaking his head. "I know the relationship you had with Scott on the ice was special and I would never try to take that from you. In fact, I would rather make our own memories or find our own things to do that is unique to us. To me, that sounds like a better plan." He gave her a warm smile and reached out the table, with her immediately grabbing hold of his large and warm hand._

_"I'd like that, I'd really like that," replied Tessa, her green eyes sparkling into his blue ones._

 

* * *

 

"I'm nervous," stated Tessa.

Scott pulled into the Gadbois, immediately heading towards the back of the parking lot where the back door was conveniently located. Ella sat quietly in the back seat playing with her rabbit, while soft music filled the car. Tessa broke the silence on the ride over, eying Scott from the side while she fiddled with her fingers and chewed on her bottom lip.

He let out a chuckle, as he backed his car into the parking spot and turned off the engine. A crooked grin spread across his face, running a hand through his hair. "Virtch, you act as you have never been inside a rink let alone touch the ice."

"It's been over four years Scott and—" Her eyes flickered to the back seat, at Ella who was stretching out her arms and taking off her seat belt. A mix of tiredness and excitement appeared on Ella's face, as she stared outside of the car window at the vast complex.

"Muscle memory. You'll be great," He reached across and squeezed her shoulder. "It will be good to see everyone again, I know they miss you."

Tessa gave him a hesitant look and unbuckled her seatbelt to climb out of the car slowly. "How come you can still convince me all of these years later?" Tessa muttered, but Scott overheard.

A grin spread on his face, as he followed suit and unbuckled his seatbelt. "Somethings I will never forget, T; you can count on that for the rest of your life."

Scott went around to the trunk, opening it up to grab out several things he needed for coaching, while Tessa opened up the side door to help Ella out of the car. "Mommy, can you carry me please?" pouted Ella. She rubbed her eyes and let out a yawn, tired from the activities that hadn't even begun. It was early, and Ella was used to a routine that didn't consist of leaving the house in the morning hours.

"Of course, sweetheart," coaxed Tessa. She effortlessly picked Ella up from the car seat and held her tightly against the side. Tessa turned around was about to maneuver herself in an attempt to close the car door, when Tessa felt a hand at the small of her back. Peaking over her shoulder, she saw Scott shutting the car door, gazing at her intently. "Lead the way, Coach Moir?"

He smiled and soon led the way towards the familiar back door of the arena. Ella's head rested on Tessa's shoulder eyes wide open at the new place, while Scott remained nearly pressed up against Tessa, his hand still continuing on the small of her back giving her the comfort and support Tessa didn't know she needed. Scott opened up the door for them, letting them walk through the slightly dark area first before continuing to lead the way.

That was when Tessa's eyes met the Gadbois ice. The sound of the blades of various skaters cutting through the ice, cheesy pop tunes blasting over the speakers, and laughter echoing. It smelled the same that it always did, a mixture of cold, sweat, and must. She had returned home, in a way. To the place where she dedicated two years to straight. The place she never truly said goodbye to.

"Mommy, this is where you skated?" asked Ella. Her eyes were widened with shock, seeing the skaters whip around the ice. Her finger pointed outwards letting out small shrieks of joy seeing the site.

"Yeah, I did," whispered Tessa. "This was the place where I achieved my dreams with Scott." Tessa moved her head to look at Scott who stood next to her gazing at the rink. Their eyes met, and she felt a sudden wave of bittersweet emotions, realizing that this was the place where it indeed all began for them when speaking regarding their relationship. He confessed his love to her on the ice, one night after they decided to get some extra practice time in after hours. This was the place her lips met his for the first time after he admitted he was utterly in love with her.

Scott's arm wrapped around Tessa's waist pulling her free side gently into his own. "Welcome back, Virtch. This place is never the same without you." He squeezed the side of her waist gently, causing her eyelids to flutter closed and her head to find his shoulder. "And for what it is worth, not sharing the ice with you is not the same either."

 

* * *

 

"And he finally shows," sarcastically said Patch, digging his hands in the pockets of his brown coat. He hovered near the boards of the rink, staring at the mixture of ice dance teams warming up on the ice. Patch swayed slightly back and forth trying to keep the circulation going through his body, while Marie-France hovered close by talking to one of the senior teams.

Scott sheepishly placed his bag on the ground, rolling his eyes at Patch, while finishing zipping up one of the various coats he stored at the rink in the summer months. He took Tessa and Ella immediately back to his office, managing to dig out a pair of skates that both fit them while allowing them to store some of their belongings there. Ella was giggling putting on a coat while it was hot outside, while Tessa snorted when she slipped on her Adidas jacket saying that she never thought this would happen again.

Scott began slipping on his gloves, a smile creeping on his face while he stared at Patch. "I brought a surprise for you, so I promise it'll make up for being thirty minutes late."

Tessa and Ella emerged into the rink, Ella on Tessa's hip while she gazed at the arena before seeing Scott with the other various coaches. A warm smile lit up Tessa's face, as she hurriedly walked over to the boards where Patch stood, tugging on Marie-France's sleeve.

"I hope it is okay that I'm intruding!" giggled Tessa, grabbing Scott's hand to help her into the rink. Tessa tightened her grip on Ella's body, as they stepped down to the boards.

His hand found the small of her back, leaning in close to her ear. "I got her, Tess, go greet them."

She quickly obliged and handed off the slightly sleepy Ella to Scott. Ella effortlessly changed people and rested her head on Scott's shoulder, with both arms wrapped around his neck. He began somewhat bouncing and swaying her up and down while gazing at his teams warming up. Scott didn't see the glances and melting that happened momentarily when Marie-France and Patch saw the way he handled Ella.

"Oh, my darling," shouted Marie-France pulling her attention away from Scott. She extended open her arms to Tessa, immediately pulling her into a tight hug. "I'm so sorry we couldn't be there when you needed us the most, but I hope you are well. You don't deserve to be going through this."

Tessa slightly bobbed her head. "Thank you, Marie-France, that means a lot to me. Thank you for your gift too, the flowers were beautiful." She pulled away from her former coach giving her a dazzling smile while turning around to Patch. "It's great to see you too, Patrice!"

He pulled her into a hug too. "I always knew you would step foot here again, maybe on different terms." Patch let out a low laugh, staring at Tessa's face. "You look great, all things considered."

"Scott is helping us a lot," Tessa said, loud enough so only her former coaches to here.

That prompted the three of them to look over at Scott, who had Ella up on his shoulders and was pointing out things that the teams were doing on the ice. Ella's arms were gently wrapped around his head fully immersed in what he was saying, with her eyes lighting up every time a person passed by.

"She's even more beautiful in person," said Marie, gazing intently at Tessa's daughter. "And to lose her father at such a young age . . . I couldn't imagine her going through life without a father or with no memory of Mark."

Tessa sighed. "I know, but I will make sure Mark's memory lives on her entire life."

"You are strong, and I know you will be able to move on and find that happiness again." Marie noticed the tears welling up in Tessa's eyes, shaking her head as she extended her arm. "Come here, my girl." Marie pulled Tessa closely to her side once more. "Now how about we show you what we have been working on?"

Both Tessa and Ella were enthralled watching the practices continue. The routines were new and slowly developing and evolving, but that was part of the excitement of the competition season. No one ended the season with the same routine they started with, and it was always such a thrill to look back on it. Both Ella and Tessa stared at Scott nearly the entire time, watching his calm yet serious coaching demeanor. His partners seemed to listen to him, taking in every comment he said while he remained on the ice watching intently. Every once in a while, he would skate over to the boards, asking how Tessa and Ella were doing, but for the most part, he was focused on his job.

By the time practice ended and the rink was slowly clearing out, Patch nudged Tessa caused her to turn around. Ella remained on her lap, sucking on one of her fingers while watching Scott skating around deep in thought. Making eye contact with Patch, then down at what he was holding, Tessa widened her eyes. It was a pair of her skates. In fact, her last pair of skates that she left at Gadbois and never looked back.

"You still have them?" gasped Tessa. With her free hand, she grabbed ahold of her old skates out of her hand, taking in the slight scuff marks on the white skates. "I thought you would have—"

Patch chuckled, taking the seat next to her. "Of course not. For the record, they are sharpened and ready to go. Marie and I always held onto the notion that you would find your way back to this ice."

"As for little Ella here, I have some of Billie Jean's old skates with me. I think they would fit her feet enough before she gets a real pair. If that is going to happen, of course." He cleared his throat, then glanced at Ella.

"I left it all behind, Patch," whispered Tessa.

"You did what was best for you at the time. You pushed that part of your life and heart away to focus on what else made you happy. Now, it is up to you to open up your heart again to the ice and what comes with it," Patch's eyes moved towards Scott, who was doing random twizzles throughout the eyes.

Tessa sighed, stroking Ella's hair. "Well, it is worth the try. What do you think Ella? Are you ready to see what it is like on the ice?" She coaxed her daughter out of her lure of the ice.

Ella nodded her head enthusiastically. "Yes! Can Uncle Patch help me?" The introductions to both Patch and Marie-France went smoothly, with Ella barely blinking at them when Tessa introduced them as her aunt and uncle. She went with it and immediately melted in them when she wrapped her arms around them for a hug.

Soon enough Tessa was placing her foot inside her old skates, a sense of familiarity rising within her. They were perfectly broken in from the last year of rehearsals for the tour, but not to the point where they were nearly falling apart (she remembered the constant teasing about her two-year-old skates that she wore at the last Olympics). Her gaze met Scott's, once she stood up and walked over to the door, glancing back at Ella who was kicking her feet excitedly making it hard for Patch to finish tying up the laces.

Scott paused on the ice, several feet away from the door that led out watching her intently take off the skate guards. Breathing in and out deeply, Tessa lowered herself on the ice, never breaking eye contact with Scott. Before she knew it, she effortlessly glided over to him only slightly wobbly. He outreached his hands towards her, her hands innately falling into his own never breaking the gaze.

"Hi," whispered Tessa.

"Hi yourself." Scott gave her hands a tight squeeze, then a small smile seeing her on the ice again. "Want to do a lap before we get your little one on the ice?"

"Okay."

That was enough for her, as they held hands and started doing their lap around the ice. Despite her slight wobble, Tessa's body remembered every motion on the ice even next to Scott. It felt like old times, the many years of circling around this ice coming back them. She remembered every fear and worry they would express to each other when they would stay late after practice. Her body remembered the touches and shoulder rubs he would give her, calming down her anxiety about the potential for not achieving their goal.

Their skate around the rink was quiet, both taking in the moment they thought would never happen again. Both remembering their last skate, when neither knew it would actually be their last together.

"Tess?" said Scott, as they approached Ella standing and talking to Patch energetically. "It's good to have you back here, good to have you back on the ice."

"It feels good to be back," She replied, delicately intertwining her fingers in his. The handhold was coined by the fandom as a romantic gesture, but in reality, it was a source of comfort and a way to become grounded. "Now how about we get that overly excited little girl on the ice?"

Scott laughed, as they both released each other's hands and skated over towards the board. Patch held onto Ella's hand, answering her silly questions and have a full conversation with her. As soon as Ella's eyes met Scott and Tessa's she immediately let go of Patch's and wobbled over towards the open door nearly tumbling over.

Scott outreached his hands immediately catching Ella from her tumble, lifting her effortlessly on the ice. She stood there with wide eyes, a shriek of happiness escaping her. He held onto her hands, watching her move her feet back and forth in place overjoyed at the feeling of gliding. "Okay, kiddo. Are you ready?"

Ella indeed was ready and started picking up simple movements quickly. Scott was the one who did the majority of the work, the coach and caring friend radiating out from him. Tessa skated nearby, her muscle memory kicking rapidly, smiling at Ella's joy on her face. At one point the three of them were holding hands and doing slow half laps across the rink.

This was bliss.

Twenty minutes later, Tessa skated to the boards to get a drink of water, gazing out at the ice to see Scott swinging Ella around and being goofy with her. Both of their laughs echoed from the rink, only to be interrupted by Scott's phone ringing on the bench. Being nosy, Tessa strained her neck to look over at the caller ID to see a ridiculous picture of Chiddy requesting to facetime. Rolling her eyes, she reached over and grabbed his phone sliding it to connect to the video call.

"TESSA!" screeched Chiddy, his eyes widening.

Tessa waved at him, letting out a small laugh. "I guess Scott didn't tell you that I was visiting Montreal?"

"No, no he did not," He laughed. "How have you been all things considering? Sorry that I had to cut my visit short in London a few weeks ago, things have been busy but well."

She nodded thinking about Patrick's dream figure skating school that he opened up in Vancouver. It warmed her heart that so many of her close figure skating friends decided to move onto coaching to give back to the figure skating community that was so near and dear to their hearts.

"I'm flying!" screamed Ella passing nearby.

Tessa turned her head around, a dazzling smile on her face. She gazed intently at Scott lifting Ella up and swinging her around in circles, knowing that he would never let go of her daughter. Most mothers would be hesitant to allow their daughter to be swung like that on the ice when they just learned how to skate but Tessa trusted Scott. He never once let her fall, so he would never let Ella fall. She saw the care and compassion in Scott's eyes every moment he spent with Ella, she saw how she reciprocated it to them and melted into the two's undeniable connection.

"Earth to Tessa?" said Chiddy, interrupting her train of thought. She jumped and turned to face him, apologizing repeatedly. "How long are you going to be in Montreal? I'm visiting Friday and was going to ask Scott if he wanted to go out and get drinks with Liz and me."

"We were leaving Thursday, but—" Her eyes trailed off to see Scott holding Ella and skating towards her.

"Mommy!" shouted Ella. "Scott flew me around like an airplane. He said that I'm just as easy to lift on the ice as you were." Ella pressed herself up against Tessa's leg, nuzzling her face into the Adidas leggings.

"Chiddy, my man," screeched Scott as he skated up towards them. "What brings you to the video chat?" His shoulder fit behind Tessa's perfectly, wrapping both of his hands on his hips adjusting his position, so his face appeared behind Tessa's in the video chat.

Patrick smiled and let out a laugh. "About Friday. I was thinking that we could have a night out with Liz? My event isn't until Saturday afternoon so we can go as crazy as we want to. I asked Tessa here, but apparently—"

"Apparently I'm going," cut off Tessa.

Scott gave her a curious look, knowing very well that she would be leaving Thursday morning.

"Is it okay if we stay a few extra nights, Scott? If that is an inconvenience and ruining any plans, then we can find a hotel or something nearby."

"Of course, it isn't," said Scott, giving her a pat on the shoulder. "Stay as long as you would like."

Tessa handed the phone over to Scott, asking Ella if she wanted to keep skating. After saying goodbye to Chiddy, they parted ways and began doing small circles around the ice. Like her mother, Ella was a natural, which amazed Scott. He saw potential in Ella as if there was a fire that could be brought to the ice. Yet, it wasn't his decision what activities Ella would end up doing. It wasn't his decision if Tessa would ever get on the ice again after today. Gulping he turned his attention towards Chiddy, seeing him roll his eyes. "What?"

Patrick scoffed. "God, you are screwed."

Scott blinked at his friend.

A roaring laugh followed, lightly hitting the kitchen table from Patrick's home. "You really don't know that you are slowly starting to fall for them, aren't you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was such a relief to write a lighter chapter and I had fun with it to the point where I had push one scene back to the following chapter. Originally this chapter wasn't going to be this long, but words started happening and I couldn't prevent it. Also, you may noticed that I have put how many chapters this story will turn out to be. When I told you it was a journey, I whole-heartedly meant it! 
> 
> Your continued response is tremendous and occasionally daunting. It warms my heart to hear from you and I can't articulate that enough! The comments and kudos give me the determination to continue driving this story forward and carefully write each chapter. So thank you!
> 
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> Hope to be hearing and interacting from you. Also, thank you for your patience on my updates. xx


	8. Take Your Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A night out with Chiddy and his wife leads to a heated moment between Tessa and Scott, while more about Mark's past and his death are revealed.

The rest of the weekend continued to be blissful, with Tessa, Scott, and Ella settling into a routine. Ella continued waking up long before Tessa, innately knowing when Scott’s alarm would go off, and silently join him and Rufus. Sometimes she would bring her tablet in the room with Sir Bunchkins, never having the desire to do anything else. He would let her choose which shirt he would wear to practice, with her wrinkling her nose at each shirt that didn’t have “Canada” written along it. She would wander around with him in the morning, holding his hand when they took Rufus outside, before settling on the couch while Scott left.

Scott never wanted it to end.

He didn’t entirely know what to make out of this abrupt morning routine with Ella, wondering at what point he would overstep his boundaries. Tessa never said anything, continued to smile and nod her head when Ella enthusiastically talked about it when they were surrounded around Scott’s kitchen table eating the dinner he cooked. Was Tessa genuinely comfortable with this? A part of him had held back, not wanting to fall for Tessa’s perfect daughter entirely, but a selfish part of him wanted to be Ella’s father. Yet, Ella’s father was Mark.

Although the promise to Mark continued to circle around his mine every morning, Ella curled up next to him. It was the promise to protect and keep Tessa and Ella happy. A promise Scott knew he had to live up to because they deserved to smile and laugh each day. But would there be a point where Scott didn’t need to be there for them to get back to that place?

His thoughts were deep within him, as Ella sat on Scott’s bathroom counter swinging her legs back and forth on Friday morning. Scott was weaving his fingers in and out of his hair, to try to make it look somewhat presentable, noticing Ella’s attentive gaze from the reflection in the mirror.

“Can I go to work too?” asked Ella.

Scott washed his hands, discarding the remaining gel from his fingers, his eyes flickering towards Ella. “You enjoyed that earlier?” asked Scott, drying his hands off. He leaned against the counter, shoulder-to-shoulder with Ella smiling at her.

Ella moved her head eagerly. “I know why Mommy loves it now.”

Scott chuckled. “How about we ask your mommy if you can join me? We can practice after, yeah?” He scooped her off the counter, letting Tessa’s daughter nuzzle into his neck and holding herself close to him. They proceeded out of his room, quietly walking down the hallway to the guest room.

He cracked open the door to see Tessa stirring slightly in her sleep. Her daughter and Scott exchanged glances before he placed her gently on the ground and walked into the room. As quietly as possible Scott walked over to the edge of the bed, Tessa laid on, lightly resting his hand on her exposed shoulder. Ella hovered in the doorway curiously watching the former best friends interact, while Rufus hovered close to Ella’s leg.

“Tess?” whispered Scott, suddenly having flashbacks to the many times he would wake her up. The twenty-one years of skating together led to him mastering the skill of waking her up in the morning leaving her only mildly cranky. It was a lot of trial and error, sometimes causing him to get a look of annoyance the rest of the morning.

Her peaceful deep breathes quickly came to an end, as she stirred and fluttered her eyes open. They stared at each other for a while, both taking in the memories associated with this old morning wake up call. This time it was different, mostly from the lack of light kisses pressed all over Tessa’s face. Scott’s hands drifted to Tessa’s cheek, giving her a light strike coaxing her out of her sleepy trance.

“Morning sleepy head.”

“Morn—” Tessa paused, her eyes widening, as she abruptly sat up in bed. “Is something wrong? Is Ella okay?” Her gaze quickly found Ella’s, who was waving sheepishly in the doorway. “Oh, hi sweetheart. Did you help Scott this morning?”

Ella nodded. “Of course, Mommy. He has a lot of Canada shirts.”

Tessa let out a muddled laugh, her throat still croaky from the morning. “Do you need something before you leave for work?”

Scott remained crouched down next to the bed, his eyes level with Tessa’s. “Do you mind if she comes to work with me? She wanted to come, and since this is the last chance before you head back, I thought—” He paused, slightly alarmed at the enormous smile on Tessa’s face. “I mean you are always welcome at the rink too and I figured you would want to sleep in because of tonight with Chiddy.”

“I trust you with her, Scott. If she wants to go, of course, she can.” Tessa rested her head back against the pillow, giving a content sigh. “Looks like someone converted her to loving the ice.”

He stood up shrugging, burying his hands in his pockets. “I think Ella didn’t need much convincing. It is in her blood after all.” Scott paused to study Tessa’s expression, that was an even blend of happy and sleepy. “Are you sure this is okay?”

“As long as you don’t let her fall.” She let out a yawn and blinked her heavy eyes.

“Never,” whispered Scott. His attention focused on Ella in the doorway, smiling and excitedly jumping up and down. “No Virtue will ever fall on my watch.”

 

* * *

 

  
_Tessa groggily walked from the master bedroom in her quaint London home, deep bags under her eyes. She underestimated what it felt like adjusting to motherhood. Her transition to motherhood classes talked about the adaption to restless nights and less sleep than recommended, in which Tessa snorted and held her head high up in the air. How the instructor described being a mother to the newborn was what Tessa dealt with her entire athletic career. She lost track of the many nights she thrashed around in her bed, anxious about the programs, arriving to practice with four hours of sleep and using every ounce of caffeine possible to keep her awake. If she could handle that, she could handle a newborn._

_Tessa Virtue, for once, was wrong._

_Her feet barely lifted off the floor, causing her to lose her balance walking down the wooden stairs nearly. A baby monitor was clutched in one hand, while her other hand held tightly onto the railing proceeding down the stairs. The only thing that awakened her slightly was the smell of breakfast food and the sound of Mark whistling over the stove. It was two a.m._

_“Finally got her down?” said Mark, placing a fluffy pancake on a plate covered with bacon and eggs. He turned around from the stovetop to slide the plate on the island stool._  
  
_Tessa barely had the energy to yawn, as she slumped at the bar stool chair. Her head immediately found a place to rest on the side of the island. If it were up to her, she would be sleeping right now, but she needed to eat. She needed to give her body the fuel to replenish everything that was lost during breastfeeding. Breastfeeding, that was another unexpected nightmare. Her breasts hurt all the time, she experienced all sorts of duct blockages, and she even got the cliché movie moment where lactation would occur at the sound of a baby in distress. It absolutely sucked outside of the actual act._

_“Honey, you need to eat up. Then you can sleep, yeah?” Mark walked over and gave Tessa a loving rub on her back, causing her to let out a long sigh. “Maybe you will be lucky and won’t have to feed for another five hours.”_

_Tessa sat up and rubbed her eyes, shaking her head. “She loves to eat whenever she feels like it. I’m convinced she actually can’t be that hungry all the time.” The sarcasm seeped out of her voice, causing Mark to give her a grin._

_He sat on the stool next to her rubbing her back, watching her start scarfing the food down her throat. Tessa’s old, ratty housecoat draped was wrapped tightly around her chest, her nursing bra peeking out slightly from underneath. Mark wished he could help more throughout the night, but knew he was useless. So, Mark did what he could, he made her whatever food she wanted in the middle of the night. Gave her massages, cleaned the house, did the laundry, and helped out with Ella whenever he could, but in many ways, it didn’t feel like enough._

_In many ways, Mark felt useless._

_“Thanks for this,” said Tessa, once she finished eating. “I don’t know what I would without you.” She reached out and squeezed his arm, with the little bit of energy left in her. Her eyes began growing heavier with every blink, causing Mark to stand up and help her off the stool. “I don’t need help, I’ll be fine.”_   
_Mark rolled his eyes at her. “Come on, Tess, I’ll get you settled.”_

_In one sweeping motion, he lifted her off her feet, carrying her bridal style up the stairs. Her head rested on his shoulder, eyes closed and already asleep by the time he approached the side of their bed. Gently lowering her, he tucked her into the warm sheets giving her a kiss on the forehead. Despite the lack of sleep, Tessa still looked just as gorgeous as the day he first met her. A freckled face with creamy skin, accompanied by her raven-colored hair, and her vibrant green eyes were enough to draw in the interest, but it was the personality that genuinely made her beautiful. Tessa was everything that he wanted for his daughter._

_Sighing and getting tired himself, he gazed over at the bassinet close to Tessa. She indeed was beautiful and definitely had her mother’s hair and eyes, with the distinctive personality of being a restless sleeper. Other than that small issue, Ella was the perfect baby. Even at one month of age, Mark knew that his daughter was going to be destined for great things. Smiling at Ella, he leaned down and gave her a light kiss on the forehead making sure not to wake her._

_Nearly an hour later Mark laid in bed, his arm tightly wrapped around Tessa. He was tired in his own ways too but knew that nothing could compare to how Tessa was feeling. She usually stirred when he climbed into or out of bed, but this time she remained as still as a rock. Completely passed out from the weeks of little to no sleep, her body fighting the urge to break down. Her body hadn’t caved yet, continuing to be alert if there was one coo in the night from Ella._

_Yet, this time Mark caught the first cry of the night from Ella. He bolted upright from the bed, nearly tripping over a pile of dirty clothes, before grabbing Ella. She softly cried, squirming in his arms, as he bounced her up and down while shushing her. The room was illuminated by the moonlight in the dead of night, providing a beautiful silhouette._

_Mark remembered the months Tessa would spend, while pregnant with Ella, sitting in her reading nook that overlooked the street. She was captivated by the way the stars and moon during a clear sky would cast glittery silhouettes on the road, giving it the peaceful and perfect setting for any great book. Tessa loved the night, claiming it spoke to her even after their baby was born. Tonight, was a different story._

_He rocked Ella back and forth, her entire body trying to wiggle from his grasp, but his arms remained tightly around her. After minutes passed, the cries began fading, and happy gurgles came from Ella’s mouth. He sat on the chair in the reading nook, staring down at Ella and smiling intently at her._

_“There you go, Angela, Daddy, is here. He will protect you,” whispered Mark._

_Ella’s small hand wrapped around his finger, gazing up at her father and eyes already filled with wonder._

_“Sometimes we need to give your mommy a break because she does so much for you,” He sighed, taking a second to glance out at the quiet neighborhood streets. “She can be awfully stubborn, always wanting to do everything herself even though people want to help, but we love her regardless. Tonight, I knew she needed the time off unless it was essential. You seem fine though, no need for some milk.”_

_She blinked up at him, continuing to be captivated by his voice._

_Mark smiled down at her, kissing her head. A few silent moments passed, father and daughter staring at each other. Ella went to move her body slightly, then suddenly felt Mark’s jolt to keep Ella steady. It was almost as if she knew that if she moved too much there was a chance Ella could fall, yet her eyes displayed that she felt safe._

_“Don’t worry, Ella, you aren’t going to fall. Daddy is right here and will make sure you never fall.”_

 

* * *

 

 

“Are you and Mommy going on a date?” asked Ella. She sat crossed legged on Scott’s bed, watching him picking out a collared shirt from his walk-in closet, while Tessa was drying her hair in the guest bathroom. “Is that why I’m sleeping at Aunt Marie and Uncle Path’s?”

It was after seven p.m. on a Friday night, both getting ready to meet up with Chiddy and his wife for a late dinner and some cocktails. Neither knew how late the outing would be, so Tessa asked if Marie-France and Patrice could watch Ella for the night since she didn’t know any other people in Montreal she trusted with Ella. With little to no hesitation, they agreed, excited at the opportunity for Billie-Rose and Ella to play with their toys together.

Scott emerged from the closet, buttoning up the sleeves of his shirt and rolling his eyes at Ella. “Of course not. Your mommy and I are seeing an old skating friend and his wife, not going on a date.” He sat at the edge of the bed ruffling Ella’s hair.

She gave him a pointed look, giving Rufus a pet. “But you are eating and dressing nice. Mommy and Daddy did that for their dates.” Ella frowned, slumping her shoulders, struggling to understand.

“Sometimes that happens, but for your mommy and me we are friends seeing other friends. No date,” replied Scott, finding Ella’s eyes. He knew he could brush this off to Ella for being ridiculous at her assumptions, but he could see how the little girl would grow confused. They were two adults going out late, dressing up, and making her spend the night at a sitter’s. Anyone would think that it was a standard date night. Except it was ironic. It wasn’t a date night, not close to being a date night.

“Last time Mommy and Daddy left me, Daddy didn’t come back.” Ella sadly looked down at her lap, seeing Rufus’s head rest there. “Is Mommy going to come back?”

“I won’t let anything happen to her, I promise.” Scott gave Tessa's daughter a reassuring rub on the back.

Ella nodded, finding Scott’s hazel eyes. “Will you come back too?”

“Of course. We always take care of each other because that is what friends do. Before you know it, we will be picking you up at Uncle Patch and Aunt Marie’s house so we can have a fun last day in Montreal before you two leave.” Scott swallowed at the thought of the limited number of days he had left with Tessa and Ella here. It hadn’t been a week, and he knew that he wanted them to stay, that they filled the empty void in his apartment. They were the missing piece of his life puzzle, the part that could never be lost.

Before either could reply, he heard Tessa’s footsteps echoing down the hallway towards the room. A small knock on the door caused all three of them to perk up, as Tessa cracked open the door smiling. “Mind if I come in?” She proceeded to come in anyways, predicting Scott’s answer, her face appearing more at ease than usual. Her hair hung in loose waves, her face sported an edgier makeup look while wearing a form-fitting shirt, tight black pants, and a short pair of heels.

She looked absolutely stunning, which caught Scott entirely off guard. His eyes widened at her appearance, before breaking contact to look down at his shirt and trying his best to avoid the red creeping up his neck to his face.

“You’re so pretty,” said Ella. She climbed off of the bed, wandering over to Tessa to hug her leg.

“So are you, sweetheart.” Tessa smoothed down Ella’s hair, beaming down at her. “Are you excited for your sleepover tonight?”

Ella nodded her head, looking over at Scott who continued to fumble around with his shirt. “You will come back, right?” She stared intently into her mother’s eyes, adrenaline racing through her body at the thought of her other parent disappearing from her life. That is what she associated sleepovers with, mainly when it involved her mom going out with friends.

Tears formed on the edge of Tessa’s eyes, attempting to hold back them falling. “I promise. Nothing will happen to me. You will see me tomorrow, I promise you.” Tessa kept passing those reassuring words to Ella, feeling Ella calm down.

“I don’t want Scott to die either,” whispered Ella.

Tessa looked up to see Scott, whistling and in his own little world while he tied on his shoes. It was hard to tell if he heard what Ella said, but even if he did, he showed no signs of it. Her heartstrings tugged in her chest, praying that Ella would be calm and distracted the entire night. A pit formed in Tessa’s stomach as she wondered if Ella would live with this fear the rest of her life. She hated for her daughter to feel this way, she hated that her daughter had to go through this traumatic stress at such a young age. Yet, Ella handled all of this like a champion.

Meanwhile, the darkness about that night continued to stir in the depths of Tessa’s minds.

“Ready to go girls?” asked Scott, grabbing his keys and wallet off of his dresser. He pocketed them both while checking the time on his cell phone. They were due to meet Chiddy in half an hour which was plenty of time to drop off Ella and head to some hotspot bar in Montreal. He walked over to the ground where Ella packed her overnight backpack and hoisted it over his shoulder, not caring that it was a Barbie pink backpack.

Ella bit her lip, detaching from Tessa’s leg and wandering over to Scott. “Can I have a hug? So, I remember you.”

Scott gave an alarmed look to Tessa, who turned around to push back the tears forming in her eyes. “Remember me? Where am I going?”

The little three, almost four-year-old shrugged her delicate shoulders and let out a long sigh. “I don’t remember my last hug from daddy, and I’m sad.” Her lip pouted, causing Scott to drop to his knees to be at eye level with her. “I need to remember saying goodbye.”

“Oh, kiddo, come here. I’ll give you one hug to remember me until tomorrow,” said Scott, engulfing her into his arms. “And I’ll keep giving you hugs to remember until you are tired of them.”

Ella giggled. “Good, I want that.”

 

* * *

 

_“Did you remember to pack Ella’s ear drops? I put them on the counter to go in her overnight bag and—” Tessa scrambled through the small duffle bag she packed for Ella, as Mark drove the car on the windy road that led to Kate Virtue’s house. The sunlight poured in from the sunroof, illuminating the light freckles on Tessa’s face and causing her green eyes to glisten._

_Mark glanced over at Tessa, reaching over to give her a reassuring touch on her arm. “They are in there, Tess.” Right when he finished saying that, Tessa saw the baggy filled with the medication to take care of Ella’s ear infection. She breathed out a sigh of relief, her eyes finding Mark’s blue ones. “All in there, just like I said.”_

_“This is the first time we have both traveled at the same time this far from her—” Tessa bit her lip, stopping herself. She was being ridiculous about something happening. It would all be okay._

_“Honey why are you on edge?” questioned Mark. His hand moved back to the steering wheel, as he came to a gentle stop. “It is going to be a great weekend and Ella will have fun at your mom’s like she always does.”_

_Mark and Tessa were headed to a weekend getaway with friends at a cottage the group rented up north in the Muskoka area. It was only two nights, but enough to cause Tessa to have a bundle of nerves. She knew that Ella would be okay at her Mom’s, Kate watched her all the time, but there was something deep within her that troubled her. As if something terrible were to occur. She brushed off the feeling once more, orienting herself around in the passenger seat to see Ella nodding off._

_“A mother always worries,” Tessa lightly said. She turned back to stare out the front windshield, chewing on her lip and picking at her nails. “I keep getting this bad feeling about the weekend, and I can’t shake it.”_

_“You’re worrying too much, Tess. I promise it will be a great weekend and soon enough we will be having our Sunday family movie night with my homemade pizza.” Mark soon pulled up to Kate’s house, slowly pulling into the driveway. Out of the corner of his eye, he cautiously watched Tessa, whose eyes became close and began doing the breathing exercises she learned to do through her athletic career to calm her anxiety. “Is there anything I can do to help?”_

_Mark parked the car and took off his seatbelt, both hands reaching over to find Tessa’s. She squeezed his hands back, weaving her fingers within his and stared into his eyes. “No, but I will let you know.”_

_His hand brushed a few stray strands away from her face, admiring the minimum makeup and natural hair Tessa always had. “You look beautiful today, as always,” said Mark causing smiles to spread on both of their faces. “I love you.”_

_“Love you too,” Tessa replied. She gave him a quick peck on his lips before they both climbed out of the car._

_They began their usual routine when it involved the family of three going somewhere together, a method that had been in place since Ella was nearly a month old. Tessa would walk over and wrangle Ella from the car seat, while Mark would grab any bags that were needed while quickly going over to close the car door for Tessa. She felt his hand press against her back, as she lifted Ella from the car seat and held her close to her body, taking in every bit of this moment. Ella had never been without both parents._

_“Mommy, you’re squishing me,” muffled Ella._

_Tessa’s arms remained firmly around her daughter, not noticing the front door of the house swinging open. She felt Mark’s firm hand on her back leave, as he enthusiastically greeted Kate and gave her a tight hug._

_“Mommy, please,” whined Ella._

_Tessa sighed and gently released her grip, slowly lowering Ella to the ground. She bit her lip, as she watched Ella rush into Kate’s arms giggling and saying “grandma” repeatedly. Touching her heart, she walked forward to join the animated conversation occurring, giving her own mother a hug._

_“Have fun, darling,” whispered Kate into Tessa’s ears. She gave her daughter a tight squeeze, pulling back and pushing some of Tessa’s loose curls out of her face. “Ella and I will have a great time together. I think we will go and pick strawberries, does that sound good?”_

_Ella nodded eagerly._   
_The family talked for several minutes, with Ella excitedly talking about everything she wanted to do at Grandma Kate’s house, slowly losing track of time. It wasn’t until Mark’s phone rang, that he noticed the time and gave Tessa “the look” that they needed to wrap things up and get on the road. Tessa began saying goodbye to her mother, telling her repeatedly that they should have cell service up North and to give her updates, while Mark held Ella’s hand and watched her stop and jump around on her feet._

_“Be good for Grandma Kate, okay Ella?” said Mark, crouching down. He poked Ella’s nose playfully taking in his daughter’s innocent giggle. “Remember your manners and--?”_

_“Remember to be kind,” finished Ella with a grin._

_“That’s my girl. Come here,” Mark outstretched his arms towards Ella. She fell into them right away, her arms wrapped around Mark’s neck. He pressed his lips against her cheek, running a hand through her hair, before using his other to give her tummy a slight tickle. “Daddy loves you and know you will be a good girl.”_

_Ella sighed giving Mark a kiss on the cheek. “Come back soon, Daddy. I want to play in the park.”_

_“Promise, Ella. I will be home before you know it.”_

 

* * *

 

  
Scott didn’t think he would be showing up with Tessa to a club filled with young adults in downtown Montreal to meet Chiddy and Liza. When Chiddy sent him the location of the place, he didn’t even think to look it up, but instead gave the address to the Uber driver and quietly sat in the backseat the entire ride there. The quietness was weird with both staring out different windows of one another, neither knowing what to say to each other. It wasn’t until the driver began slowing down, accounting for drunk young girls wearing tight fitting clothes crossing the road and screaming, until he realized where Chiddy led him.

“Chiddy said this was a local hotspot?” questioned Tessa, peering out the window.

Panicked eyes eventually reached Scott’s, as he swallowed and yanked out his phone to check Chiddy’s message to make sure he didn’t get it messed up. Muffled curse words flew out of Scott’s mouth when he realized that Chiddy, despite his age, still wanted to party as if they were in their twenties again.

“I’m going to kill him,” stated Scott.

The driver pulled up to the curb, parking it gently. He cocked his head, halfway turning around the seat, peering back at Tessa and Scott. “Here you are. I applaud you for having that young energy left in you because I certainly couldn’t do it being forty and all.” He let out a hardy laugh, shaking his head. “Relationship is getting boring, and you want to live your young days, eh?”

Both former skating partner’s faces flushed a bright red, with Tessa looking down at her purse and pocketing her phone trying to forget the comment. Even after all of these years apart and changes, their lives went through, people still mistook them for a couple. Scott struggled to fathom that before he said a hasty “thank you,” leading the way out of the car. He held open the car door for Tessa, as she scooted out and stared at the club door.

This was going to be interesting.

She stood there staring at the girls walking by, trying not to gape at their appearance, but at the same time feeling very out of place. The car door slammed, diverting her attention from the crowd of people entering, to find Scott’s hazels eyes. He gave her a grimaced smile, knowing very well that Tessa would be on edge and comfortable the entire time.

“If it is shit, we are going and getting your girl,” said Scott.

Tessa laughed. “We should have expected Chiddy to select a place that contorted our expectations. Remember that one seafood place in Vancouver after Stars on Ice?” She wrinkled her nose at Scott, hearing him scoff at the memory.

“It was one of those trendy hole-in-the-wall places that ended up with half of us getting food poisoning. You, my friend, got lucky.” He nudged her arm getting Tessa’s lips to curl upwards. “And you were kind enough to have a sleepless night to make sure I didn’t get too dehydrated.”

“Well, you know from experience how I am restless,” Tessa lightly joked, her laugh stopping short at her response. She flushed again, her hand rising to her neck, quickly diverting her attention from Scott.

Scott cleared his throat and moved his arm away from her back. He shuffled back and forth on his feet, quickly reading a reply from Chiddy, before looking back over at Tessa. “He is already inside, with drinks for us. Ready to go, T?”

Tessa swallowed the lump in her throat nodding at him, after looking down at her outfit and her body suddenly feeling self-conscious. She let out a prolonged sigh, wishing that she was about six years younger. Tessa spent the majority of her life continually having lean muscle and chiseled abs. Back in the old days of going out, she would wear a cropped shirt, maybe even a skin-tight dress, but now not so much.

Ever since she stopped figure skating entirely, her body seemed to go through a second puberty. Her breasts were slightly more prominent and were beginning to droop, while her stomach still had stretch marks scattered throughout from Ella. Despite losing all of the baby weight, her body would never be as toned as it once was. She knew it was silly to be self-conscious, knowing that she was lucky to have the genetics to give her that naturally thin physique, but right now she lacked confidence.

“You look perfect, Tess,” said Scott. He made conclusions from the look she was giving herself as she looked down. “Come on, let’s go see all of the jealous girls and guys that see you look this way after having a beautiful child.”

Tessa gave him a side eye, reaching out for his hand. She gave it a tight squeeze, naturally intertwining his fingers. “Lead the way, Moir.”

 

* * *

 

  
_The party started at the Muskoka cottage rental within an hour after they arrived. The sun began to set, painting a colorful array of colors in the sky. Tessa stood on the dock, her arms crossed on her chest, staring at the peaceful view. Lake Muskoka was wonderful, immediately taking anyone’s breath away when stepping onto the dock. A fresh breeze cast across the lake, causing Tessa to wrap her arms tighter across the chest to take in the entire scene in front of her._

_Tessa heard footsteps on the dock, causing her to turn around and meet Mark’s deep blue eyes. He held a glass of champagne in his hand, outreaching it towards Tessa giving her one of his soft smiles. “I have been instructed to give you this glass and to make sure you drink every drop,” said Mark._

_“Ella would love it up here,” said Tessa, gently grabbing the glass from Mark’s hand. She took a sip, turning her attention back to the lake. “She would love collecting rocks on the beach or splashing around in the water.” She felt Mark’s hand on her shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze and pulling her close to his side; she nuzzled into his neck, breathing in the scent of his cologne._

_“Maybe we can take her up here for the long weekend in August. I know we usually do something with your family at their cottage on Bayfield, but—”_

_She quickly cut him off. “But it would be something different, an adventure. Our adventure.”_

_They smiled at each other before she placed her head on his shoulder. Their hands found each other, perfectly interwoven like a missing puzzle piece. Both gazed out at the lake imagining what the rest of summer would bring for them, thinking about creating everlasting memories with Ella; memories that would continue to be in their minds forever. Minutes passed in silence, both sipping their drinks with echoes of their friends in the background enjoying the weekend celebrations._

_“Can you believe our little girl is going to be four in a few months?” asked Mark._

_Tessa shook her head. “Feels like yesterday we found out her gender at the party. I remember I begged Jordan to have a look at the cake ahead of time because I was too excited.” Tessa giggled and shook her head, taking a generous sip of her drink. “Jordan is the worse secret keeper, especially from me. I’m surprised I didn’t manage to get it out of her before the reveal.”_

_They pulled away from their embrace, Mark let out a long and low laugh recalling that day._

_“How did Ella get so lucky to have you as a mother?” He softly whispered, loud enough so only Tessa could hear. “You never cease to amaze me your patience you have with her, as well as having this instinct to know what she is looking for before she asks.”_

_Tessa gives shrugs. “Benefits of working primarily from home?”_

_“Benefits of being you,” He whispered._

_She went on her tiptoes, bringing their lips nearly centimeters apart. “She looks up to you too, you know.” Tessa’s words coming from her lips sent a tingle onto Mark’s, sending chills down his spine. “You are a great father, Mark, and I know you will continue to be.”_

_“I want her happy, Tess. Just like how I want you happy,” He responded._

_Tessa pressed her lips against his softly, sending shockwaves of pleasure throughout both of their bodies. Mark deepened the kiss, running his free hand through his hair while being careful not to spill his glass of champagne. They stood on the dock for a while enthralled with each other, while the sun continued to set, the air filled with love._

_Neither knew that their forever would soon be cut short, resulting in leaving Tessa widowed. What a foolish mistake, in a moment of fun, would cost Mark his life. That Tessa would continue to blame herself every time Mark would cross her mind. That each morning would be filled with sorrow when she realized Mark wouldn’t be lying next to her. That Tessa would continue a downward spiral until someone unexpectedly came back in her life and gave her that piece she was missing from Mark._

_Neither knew at this moment how different Tessa’s life would be in merely a year._

 

* * *

 

  
“Where do we even begin to find them?” shouted Tessa, as soon as they entered the club. The music was blasting, nearly blowing out their eardrums, and there were flashing lights everywhere. Ten years ago, they would have loved to be in this sort of atmosphere, now not so much. Both had grown out of this and would much rather sit at a restaurant drinking wine and beer than go to a young adult club, that already appeared to be a place for meeting people for one-night stands.

Scott’s eyes darted around the crowd, trying to find Chiddy and Liz, near the bar but there was no such luck. The dance floor was already pretty crowded, with some girls in a joint bachelor/ bachelorette party taking up a hearty portion of the dance floor. He let out a short breath, running a hand aimlessly through his hair, before glancing over at Tessa who was scanning the crowd too. Neither noticed that their fingers were laced entirely in a firm hold, giving them the sense of comfort and support.

“Let me text him,” scowled Scott, pulling Tessa towards an empty wall in the place. He let go of her hand and yanked his phone out of his pocket, quickly sending something to Chiddy to ask where in the club they were and asked if this was the right location. After he sent the message, he leaned his head back against the wall letting out a long sigh. “Why did we choose this over watching a movie with Ella?”

Tessa shrugged and leaned her head and shoulder against the wall, hovering close to Scott. Her hands dangerously found him, her head migrating to rest on his shoulder. Scott sensed the tension in Tessa, resting his head on top of hers while giving her hand a squeeze.

“If you want to leave at any point, tell me,” murmured Scott, loud enough so only Tessa could hear. He knew a situation like this would give her anxiety, due to her introverted nature and tendency to like a more intimate gathering at a house or cottage. Not a crowded club that displayed girls throwing themselves all over guys. “I don’t want you uncomfortable.”

“Been a while since I have been in a scene like this,” stated Tessa, letting out a half-laugh.

Scott glanced down at her using his arm to pull her close to his side, his phone vibrating at an incoming text. He typed in his password to unlock his phone, noticing Tessa glancing down at the phone to see Chiddy’s response. “I’m upstairs in the V.I.P. section, bro. Hurry up.” Scott scoffed, reading the text message out loud. “He acts like it is obvious where he is in this zoo.”

A laugh escaped Tessa’s lips, as she lifted herself up and stared into Scott’s hazel eyes. “Lucky for you, I noticed the stairs when we first came into this zoo.”

“Still the brilliant Tess, I see. Your turn to lead the way.”

She rolled her eyes and led him through the incoming crowd of people towards the staircase that led upstairs. They took each step slowly, him hovering close behind her, as they continued to hold hands until they almost reached the top level. He was the first to let go, clearing his throat awkwardly, as they made their way to the top. What Chiddy told him a couple days ago still resonated in his mind, as well as Ella’s question about it being a date tonight (which it still wasn’t), but he wondered if people were seeing something he wasn’t.

It happened in the past, actually for years, when people would consistently bring up the relationship question with Tessa. He never understood until Scotland, until the turning point. When a moment of singing and dancing changed everything for him to the end where he no longer saw a future with Kaitlyn, he saw every moment with Tessa.

Through countless therapy sessions individual and with Tessa he finally grasped the truth of what everyone saw for years (by everyone, he meant all of his friends and family). But this time it felt different when he was around her. The type of different that still held onto the raw past, scared to let it surface while having that deep care and respect for one another. Was there something more? Could there be something more?

Scott’s thoughts were abruptly interrupted when hearing the small shriek and frantic waving from Tessa, as they emerged on the second floor. His eyes found Chiddy and Liz, as Tessa darted in their attention, finally feeling more at ease with a less crowded floor. Scott followed along, walking at a slower pace, letting Tessa have her moment.   
“Looks like you found us,” grinned Chiddy tightly hugging Tessa. “You look beautiful, by the way.”

Chiddy’s eyes found Scott’s as he hugged Tessa, giving Scott a wink. What was that for? He felt the heat rising on the back of his neck but quickly pushed it away to give Chiddy’s wife, Liz, a hug.

“You look fantastic too, Liz,” said Scott, pulling away from the hug. “How are things? I’m glad you could make it this time round to Montreal.”

“Great. Things are great with you, no?” She sweetly smiled at him, looking over at Tessa and Patrick who were rocking back and forth in their hug. “I heard about Kaylee, and I’m so sorry that it didn’t work out.”

Scott shrugged, digging his hands in his pockets. “Thank you, Liz. It’s okay though, I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.”

Chiddy’s wife eyed him carefully, before looking over at Tessa who pulled away from the hug. It didn’t take her long to make the connection, but before she could even drop a coy hint, Chiddy clapped an arm on the back of Scott’s shoulders causing him to jump. They gave each other a brief hug, both smacking each other’s backs lightly.

“Isn’t this place great? Liz’s niece told us about how it is a hot spot for nightlife in Montreal.” He gestured to the bottom floor excitedly, before making eye contact with a disapproving Scott. “Oh no, you two hate it. I should have read more about it before I requested a table up here.” His eyes widened in fear.

“Usually hotspots aren’t for old people,” laughed Scott, pinching the bridge between his nose. Scott let out a groan, already picturing Patrick taking advice from a nineteen-year-old who took a vacation with friends to Montreal. Of course, he wouldn’t have thought it would be a place for the younger crowd. “I mean I’m flattered you think we are still young, Chiddy, but last time I checked—”

“Scott don’t chastise him for this,” interrupted Liz, giving Scott a nudge. “Let’s make the best out of this night, which hopefully doesn’t result in food or alcohol poisoning.”

Scott glanced at Tessa, reading her expression knowing that she was somewhat at ease now that they found Patrick and Liz. The hollowed-out appearance beneath her eyes was beckoning to be lost momentarily in this night out. She would never admit it, but he knew that her mind needed a way to forget about the pain she had been through the past two months. Tessa needed this night out with friends, a way to let loose and have fun instead of putting others before her. Ella was safe and happy right now, the only person she needed to focus on was herself. She deserved this, without a doubt, and he would make sure it was the best night possible.

“Alright, where are those drinks you promised us?” asked Scott. “I think it is time that we all sit down for a drink.”  
Many drinks and laughs later, Tessa and Scott, found themselves leaning over the railing gazing down at the dance floor watching Chiddy and Liz dancing. The married couple was a little too intoxicated for a little night out causing small laughs to slowly creep out of Scott and Tessa’s mouths when watching them dance look fools.

Scott hovered close to Tessa, feeling the lull of drinks throughout himself. He definitely drank a little more than planned, but still appeared to be in that awkward middle ground between tipsy and drunk. His arm found its way around Tessa’s waist, pulling her tightly to his side, hearing her let out a giggle and rest her head on Scott’s shoulder.

“Are you happy you stayed?” He asked her, finding his hand going through her hair.

“I’m happy I came to Montreal,” She countered, “Although, I never thought I’d end up in the nightclub out of all places.”

Scott nodded his hand moving to lightly trace her arm, barely noticing the goosebumps and chills going through Tessa at his touch. “I don’t want you to leave if I’m being honest. My filled apartment is going to go back to Rufus and me watching sports while I drink beer. Not much of an adventure.”

“It’s your sense of normal though,” whispered Tessa. She bit her lip and rotated her body to face him. Her hands found his hip bones, intoxicated thoughts racing through her mind about what would have happened years ago when it was just them. Before Ella, before Mark, and before Kaylee. When it was just them. “I needed this more than you could ever know.”

“I think I have a good idea,” He replied.

Both of his hands found the back of her neck, reaching under her hair. His thumb began caressing the nape of her neck, gazing into her gorgeous jade eyes. The same eyes that were slowly becoming restored from the sadness and pain that they had been through the past couple of months. The eyes that were barely recognizable when he saw her at the visitation. But now, the eyes were the eyes he fell in love with when they first met when they were seven and nine. It was his Tessa’s eyes, the version he always knew.

“Scott,” She breathed unsure what to say.

“I missed this.” The words effortlessly came out of Scott’s mouth, thanks to the help of alcohol, causing the remaining sober part of his brain wanting to smack himself. He noticed Tessa tense up with hesitation in her voice, as her hands slowly moved away from their resting place on his hipbones. He let out a soft groan, scrunching up his face at his stupidity. “Shit, can you just please forget about what I said? It came out wrong I--”

Tessa shook her head, pressing a finger against his lips. “I missed you too.”

He sighed glancing out at the dance floor, suddenly having a longing to join the crowd. It was the right type of upbeat techno mix, with the crowd screaming and jumping. Scott’s eager gaze found Tessa’s, a mischievous grin taking residence on his face. “You want to see if we still got it out there, Tess?”

She looked unsure.

“When was the last time we danced together? It’ll be fun, let loose and have a good time.”

“Well, I do like a good song to dance to, and this happens to be great,” said Tessa coyly.

“To some, it may even be fantastic.”

Her fingers found, and soon enough they were walking down the stairs hand-in-hand, Scott leading her to the dance floor. Tessa and Scott weren’t sure if they would even consider doing this if they were sober, but it didn’t matter at least not at this point in time. Right now, this was for them, for fun, and for having a good time. Neither felt any sort of remorse or hesitation when they took the floor, ignoring Chiddy’s gaping mouth. Immediately bouncing up and down to each beat and enjoying the crowd, remaining close to each other letting the rhythm of the music take over.

Scott grabbed ahold of Tessa’s body suddenly, one hand finding her waist and the other encompassing the fingers on her free hand. They swayed back and forth to the rhythm of the music, before giving her a look to spin her around. She effortlessly spun outwards only to be twisted inwards, her back suddenly becoming firmly pressed against Scott’s muscular chest.

She breathed in his familiar scent, her hand finding its way to comb through his hair. It was still soft, the exact way she remembered it all those years ago. It was the same hair she tugged on during their most intimate moments or lightly played with during their saddest moments together. The hair that their fandom used to discuss extensively on ends, making both of them giggle while they lurked. And god, it felt so good to touch it again. To feel his breath catch slightly when she tugged on the area that would make him go wild.

His hands were placed firmly around her waist, pulling him against her, but still maintaining a bit of distance. Tessa’s skin tingled, as his face found its place dangerously close to her neck, as he let out a long breathe into it.

“You’re so beautiful still, did you know that?” whispered Scott, his words starting to become slightly slurred.

Tessa’s heart fluttered at his words, feeling the alcohol course through her own veins. Her thoughts swirled in her head about how wrong this is, but at the same time, her body wanted it. She wanted to feel that sensation of being close to him, to know if anything between them had actually changed.

Although Tessa’s thoughts ended quickly before Scott spun her back around as the song began to stop. Her hands found their way onto his chest, feeling the muscles that still existed all these years later. His hands were still placed around her waist, both of their eyes closing as the music faded into the distance. Others cheered around them demanding the next song from the DJ, but Tessa and Scott didn’t hear that. They tuned out the crowd like they always did on the ice, remaining grounded to each other and no one else. Tessa felt her forehead press into his breathing out a steady sigh, suddenly feeling the rush of emotions associated with Scott flooding back into her.

“Scott, I wanted you to know—” She choked on her words, as she felt he breathe tingle against her lips. She wanted to tell him how she didn’t give up on them as quickly as he may have thought. That every part of her ached when she left him that day when she packed up her things and left him in the house he was building for her in Ilderton. That it was the hardest decision of her life.

“What is it, Tutu?” He murmured.

Tessa didn’t have a chance to blurt anything out before being interrupted by Chiddy. “Wow, you showed all of us,” droned Chiddy. “I swear you two still possess that insane amount of chemistry when you dance it is alarming.”

She felt Scott pull away quickly, feeling a pang of loneliness at his hands leaving her waist. Tessa opened up her eyes to see Scott’s nervous tick of his hands both going through his hair to fix it after dancing and Tessa, gulping and struggling to find the words at this awkward and heated moment.

Luckily, Liz broke up the conversation.

“How about we get another round of drinks before we think about heading out?” asked Liz.

“Sounds good to me, this round is on me. How about we do some shots to spice things up a bit. Does that sound good Tess?”

Suddenly it all came crashing back to her. Mark. What happened to him and what she vowed never to witness again. The alcohol immediately left her system, as she shook her head furiously and excused herself. She ran through the club trying desperately to find the front doors that would lead her outside. Tessa couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t process what happened back there with Scott, and it felt like her lungs began to get more restricted to the point where she would pass out.

The cold air hit her face and the only thing her body could do at this moment was panic.

 

* * *

 

 

“Tess?” shouted Scott, running out of the club. He frantically looked around, trying to get a glimpse of Tessa’s petite frame and natural hair. Finally spotting her pacing back and forth near a less crowded area, he slowly made his way over to her knowing that she was indeed going through a panic attack triggered by something deep within her.

The pacing led to erratic breathing, both of her hands resting on either side of her temple, as she walked at a rhythm that would damage the bottom of her shoes. The random words she said under her breathe made no sense, as tears flooded her creamy white skin.

Scott knew to hover in the distance, giving her space but remain close to keep her safe and be there if she needed anything. He made a mistake to smother her years ago at a skating camp when her first panic attack happened. It only made her thrash out more and prolong the strike. After countless therapy sessions together during the comeback era, they both worked through a list of dos and don’ts when their anxiety stirred. Luckily, it was still relevant to this day.

Tessa paused when her gaze rose to meet Scott’s. He swallowed and stood in his place, slightly dizzy from the alcohol, but also lost at what caused this attack to occur. They danced, closer than expected, and she appeared to be content afterward. It was something that happened right after when he offered to pay for the next round of drinks and asked her if she wanted to do shots with him, Chiddy, and Liz. That was when she made a beeline for the exit of the club, forgetting her jacket and clutch that was safe upstairs at their booth.

“I’m here if you need anything.” Scott swallowed the huge lump that developed in his throat, shifting the weight back and forth on his feet. “I don’t know if what we decided on therapy is still a thing but—”

He stopped in the middle of his sentence when she flung herself at him. Scott’s arms immediately opened, barely flinching at her body pressing tightly against his chest, not even noticing his shirt beginning to get damp from her tears. She let out a crippling sob, before yanking her body abruptly back to stare at him. Scott was already confused at the indecisiveness going through Tessa’s mind but began to get even more confused as she lightly started smacking him in the chest and arms wherever she could reach.

“Don’t do that to me,” cried out Tessa.

She continued hitting him, him taking ever tap until it started to increase in intensity. As gently as possible, Scott snatched both of Tessa’s hands startling her and causing silence between them. Her breathing continued being burdensome and inconsistent, as the tears still stained her face, while she struggled to get her hands out of his grasp.

“Don’t do what? Tessa, what is going on? What happened back there?”

Tessa blinked rapidly, tasting the salty tears on her lips. “You can’t drink anymore, Scott, please. I can’t . . . I can’t lose you too.” A sob escaped her lips, as she slowly began sinking into his body, not caring that she was making a scene.

“Can’t lose me? T, I offered to get another drink, and I’m not even drunk. I’m just confused,” exasperated Scott.

Tessa shook her head slowly at first, before becoming more furious. “Do you not know how he died?”

“No, you never told me, and I never asked. I didn’t want to pressure you into talking about something you weren’t ready to talk about.” He let go of her hands, feeling slightly bad at her red skin, but knowing it was for the best at that moment. “Tess, what happened?”

“Take me home, and I’ll tell you,” She whispered.

 

* * *

 

  
_Mark sat down next to Tessa, leaning up against one of the wooden logs in front of the fire. Everyone was drunk and having a great time, with some friends even spending a chunk of their evening in the bathrooms of the cottage rental puking up their mistakes. There was alcohol, there was no one around, and for once they could just focus on having fun. Not on their jobs or Ella back at home, but instead bring out that young side to them again._

_Tessa placed her head on Mark’s shoulder, smelling the beer and vodka mixed with his cologne. Tonight, was wild and in some ways, it had only started._

_“You look beautiful tonight. Happy and relaxed,” murmured Mark, pressing his lips into her hair. “I like seeing this side of Tessa every once in a while. Shows that we can have fun and still be reliable parents.”_

_She giggled looking at him, before picking up a bottle of tequila and giving him a daring look. “And you aren’t drunk enough. I can’t be the only drunk one in this marriage,” slurred Tessa. She leaned closer to him and gave him a kiss, their tongues momentarily meeting to taste the alcohol on him._

_Mark let out a groan. “Tess don’t make me do this. You know tequila fucks me up.”_

_Tessa gave him a devilish smile, clumsily moving to straddle his lap. She dangled the bottle in front of him, before taking a sip from it. “Mark, baby, come on, please. It is our only chance to go crazy, and we got to this point, so why don’t we—” She stopped talking when Mark snatched the bottle of her hands then pointed towards the shot glasses that were splattered around the fire._

_“Hit me,” He whispered back to her._

_Her smile widened, as she climbed off his lap to grab two shot glasses that miraculously remained clean from dirt and grass. Tessa held them out steadily in front of Mark, not taking her eyes off of him as he poured the shot glasses to the point where they were overfilling._

_“Cheers,” whispered Mark, as they clinked their shot glasses together and quickly downed the liquor._

_The burning sensation barely lasted, due to the drunken state of both Tessa and Mark increasing. Soon enough other friends joined the fun, and they began doing the game truth, where if a person refused to answer they would have to do a shot. Of course, people would ask questions that no one would want to admittedly answer, especially towards Mark, which increased his drunken state to the point where he could barely stand up. Both knew how awful they would feel the next morning, but at the same time knew they needed to live a little._

_Instead, living a little was stupid._

_Tessa couldn’t remember where she lost track of Mark since her attention was quickly diverted to her friend Catherine. They gushed about current television shows they were streaming on Netflix while having drunk conversations about books they were reading. The conversation wasn’t close to being coherent, but neither cared and instead started taking pictures sitting by the fire._

_She heard the boys’ roughhousing in the distance, their voices coming from around the drop off view by the cottage. Squinting through the smoke of the fire, she turned towards Amber and rolled her eyes at the ridiculous of the boys._

_“Time to go fix the problem,” giggled Tessa. She wobbled when she stood up but continued her shaky walk over towards the drop off area._

_“Shit be careful guys,” warned Thomas._

_“Mark! Stop playing with the boys and let’s go to bed!” shouted Tessa._

_In the distance, she couldn’t make out which boy was who from the dizzy state and the darkness surrounding the area. Her eyes widened, and her entire body dropped when she saw one of the boys tripping. The tripping didn’t result in them maintaining their balance, but instead resulting in the body disappearing over the drop-off. Screams echoed out from over the cliff and in the boys’, group causing Tessa to run towards the crowd._

_“MARK! MARK ARE YOU THERE?” She cried, hoping to God that he was still on land and it wasn’t him. Except as she made her way closer, she realized with horror that he wasn’t there. The harsh reality flooded her as she sent her body forward to the edge, Thomas grabbing her and holding her firmly back telling her not to look and they would call someone right away._

_Her entire body sunk, and she barely could recall that moment. But she knew that Mark one of her great loves in her life was gone. And he would never be coming back._

 

* * *

 

  
Scott and Tessa left the club shortly after her breakdown, quickly saying goodbye to Chiddy and Liz while they waited for their Uber back to Scott’s place. The ride back was filled with silence, Tessa curled up in a ball and leaning her head against the car window with her eyes tightly shut the entire trip. Scott helped her into the apartment, settled her on the couch, and grabbed the two large glasses of water, before settling close to her letting her take the first move.

It didn’t take as long as he thought before she burst into tears and explained everything that happened that night. He listened intently, his heart shattering into pieces, as she described the paramedics and firefighters showing up later and grabbing the body up from the rocks and washing the blood stains away. Her friends tried to hold her back from seeing the body, but as soon as she did, she threw up her mistakes that inevitably caused her husband’s downfall. It was a night that would continue haunting her, a night that she wanted more than anything to forget.

“And I blame myself for his death. I pressured him, I—” Tessa choked back tears, before burying her face into her own hands.

Scott moved closer on the couch, effortlessly pulling her into his lap and holding her close. With a free hand, he grabbed the soft blanket off the floor, trying not to disturb Rufus’s sleeping figure, and wrapped them both in it. His hands combed through her hair, pushing it out of her face, as well as wiping away her large tears.

“Shhh, it’s okay. Let it out, T, just let it out,” He murmured. Scott moved his lips to press them against her temple, letting them linger there momentarily. He heard a snivel escaping Tessa, causing him to pull her closer towards him as the last of the alcohol wore off for the night.

“He wouldn’t be dead if I didn’t pressure him to drink,” sobbed Tessa.

“Mark made his own decisions to continue doing shots and to rough house with his friends. You may have encouraged, but you did nothing wrong. You did not force him. You did not cause him to pass away.”

Tessa finally started nodding her head slowly, taking in the words Scott said to her after minutes passed. “I’m just so tired of thinking about this, Scott. Replaying this moment in my head, in therapy, and—” She let out a long sigh, her eyelids starting to flutter shut.

Scott frowned wiping away the last few tears from her face. “What do you need?”

“Can you hold me, please? Just for a bit,” She whispered, her hand clutching his shirt.

He gazed down at her, adjusting her position slightly before resting his head against hers. Every part of Scott ached for Tessa, nearly feeling nauseous himself thinking about how Mark died and Tessa witnessing all of this. His lips found her cheek, before half-consciously scooting them down the couch, so she was pressed up against him. Tessa didn’t say anything but instead muttered something jumbled under her breathe.

“You don’t know how much I want you happy, Tess,” whispered Scott.

Neither remembered falling asleep, but both remembered feeling at ease being so close together again. Scott gave Tessa the comfort that everyone else lacked when discussing Mark and what happened that night. He listened to her without judgment and knew not to say too much and let her get it out of the system. He knew what to say and do at that moment, even though it was so little, but it was enough to set her thoughts at ease that night.

She deserved the entire world and Scott would do anything in his power to make it happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew you made it through this chapter! It honestly was a roller coaster to write and edit, but I enjoyed every minute of it. I originally intended this chapter to only be around 5k words, but well, 10k happened. The words flowed out of me to the point where I couldn't bear to cut anything out. Haha. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed. 
> 
> I have left some parallels in this story between present day (Scott) and past (Mark) and I'm curious if you caught any of them. Comment below and let me know what you found. :) 
> 
> Thanks for your continued support. Your comments have made my day!


	9. There's No Place I'd Rather Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanksgiving at the Virtues stirs up some tension when Ella reveals what she is truly thankful for.

 Scott stirred his stiff body in the morning, feeling a deep ache on his lower back. His eyes slowly drifted open, seeing his living room. It took him a while to put together what happened several hours ago, his head aching from the drinks and his memories slightly foggy. When he went to move his right arm to rub his eyes, he noticed it couldn’t move which sent a momentary wave of panic through his system.

 

His eyes darted to where his arm was, his senses finally kicking to see Tessa’s petite figure lying next to him. The bundle of her dark hair was splattered across his chest, head peacefully resting on his shoulder, with his hand around securing her waist and drawing her closer to his side. Tessa’s mouth was slightly open, letting out deep and steady breaths, her fingers wrapped around his shirt.  She appeared to be in a deep sleep and somewhat serene, despite the puffy eyes and slightly red blotchiness to her skin when she relived the worst day of her life to Scott.

 

Scott smiled down at her, using his free arm to brush her splattered hair away from her face and his shirt back trying his best not to disturb her. Years ago, this would be a common thing to wake up to, especially since they spent countless nights watching movies and falling asleep to them. In many ways, it felt the same as if nothing ever changed between them, but in others way, it felt alarming to be this close to her again, after only two and a half months of reconnecting.

 

That was the thing about his relationship with Tessa: no matter how many years of a strain between them, they always found their way back to each other. This past time he thought it was for good, but here they were cuddling on the sofa Kaylee hated, after having a drunken night of dancing.

 

That dance.

 

He swallowed at the thought of it, remembering her fingers combing through his hair. Her hips swaying in perfect synchronicity with his own, becoming dangerously close to him. The way her hands found his chest, letting out deep breaths in his face as they continued capturing the moment in their own little world made his own feelings for her return at the moment. The sense of wanting to kiss her in a way that would catch her off guard and make her melt. The kiss that would only continue deepening the rest of the night until they would both reach euphoria. But that couldn’t happen; Tessa was recently widowed and still grieving.

 

Scott continued stroking her hair, feeling her body become even more relaxed as they laid there together. He didn’t know how much time passed until she moved slightly and let out a stifled groan and flickered her eyes open to immediately meet Scott’s. Her lips turned upwards, while her fingers slowly released the grip that delicately held onto Scott’s shirt.

 

“Morning, sleepy head,” softly said Scott. His fingers traced a light pattern around her exposed shoulder, from the jacket she hastily discarded when they returned last night. “Do you need anything?”

 

“Is there water nearby?” Tessa croaked, taking a moment to clear her throat. Her gazed remained fix on Scott, barely moving away from his arm still securely wrapped around him, tensing at the feeling of him moving his arm away which ended up remaining on her waist.

 

Scott sighed, looking at the empty glasses on the coffee table. “Unfortunately, not,” He frowned momentarily, “Here I’ll go get some. Do you need medicine too?”

 

With a slight hint of hesitation on her face, Tessa reluctantly moved her body so Scott could slide out from underneath the blanket. As he slid out, he pressed his lips to her forehead, saying he will be right back with the hangover cocktail cure. She laid there, listening to Scott lightly opening cabinets and the refrigerator in the kitchen, as well as softly walk over to the bathroom to access his medicine cabinet.

 

Tessa felt numb from the painful talk from last night with Scott, feeling as if she could no longer shed tears about the subject. Scott was the only person that she felt comfortable sharing the complete story with, not feeling ashamed of what occurred. Her talks with her closest family members and her therapists led to her feeling more anxious and uneasy about the topic rather than helping her push through it. In the end, it was Scott who got through to her; what he said last night was right. It wasn’t entirely her fault, yet the hint of guilt was still there. A pang of guilt that would hopefully slowly dissipate from her life.

 

“One large glass of water and some painkillers,” said Scott coming back in the living room. His footsteps caused Rufus to lift his head from the dog bed, giving him a curious look, before laying his head back down. He handed the glass of water and ibuprofen to Tessa, watching her take it and continuing to eye her. Eventually, Scott cleared his throat and ran his fingers through his hair to get it out of her bed head state. “I’m going to take Rufus out for a short walk. Did you want to take a shower before Marie and Patch bring back Ella?”

 

“Sure, that sounds good,” nodded Tessa, slowly sipping on her water. She sat up a bit further on the couch, resting her eyes and continuing her gaze up at Scott. “Scott, about everything last night with the dancing and the story—”

 

“It was the alcohol, I know,” said Scott. “Tess, it is fine we don’t need to discuss it further. I know what you are going to say, and I know it was a mistake.” Every part of his body hurt telling her the lie straight to her face, knowing it was safer to not bring up how it felt to be that close to her at the moment. It was more comfortable this way to deny, especially with Mark still on Tessa’s mind.

 

Except, little did Scott know that Tessa’s entire body fell at this moment hearing the words coming from his mouth. She wanted to tell him how he made her feel the most alive, a feeling that hid deep within her ever since she had Ella. Mark and Tessa attempted to let out that side of them again but went too far where it cost them his life which ended up in a foolish accident.

 

 “I enjoyed it,” She whispered. “I felt the freest I have felt in years.”

 

Scott let out the breath he was inadvertently holding, suddenly frozen in front of the couch. He broke eye contact with Tessa, unsure how to even respond. How Scott wanted more than just the dance last night, that he wanted all of her again. Chiddy was right, he was falling for her all over again. The type of fall that starts off slow but accelerates to the point where he can no longer control it. The harsh reality continued to plague him that Tessa wasn’t close to being his, that Tessa was mourning over a loss of a man, a great man in fact. He couldn’t overstep the boundary in place, even though every inch of his body needed to.

 

In some ways this week was a mistake.

 

He swallowed the lump in his throat, tearing his eyes away from Tessa. “I’m happy you had a great time, Tess. I’ll be right back, you know where the towels are?”

 

She looked slightly taken aback, but proceeded to give him a confirming nod, and began climbing out of the cocoon of the blankets. It nearly killed him walking away from the couch, calling Rufus to go outside, and grabbing his leash. Every part of him had to hold back from running towards her and sweeping her in his arms, pressing his lips against hers to see if they still had that passion they once had together. Stuff may have changed, but in some ways, stuff barely changed between them.

 

* * *

 

 

Scott finally witnessed a tantrum from the usual calm and collected Ella Sunday morning. He stood in the kitchen cleaning up from the considerable brunch he made for Tessa and Ella before they left for the airport. They went to their bedroom to pack the last few things and get changed into their travel clothes when the first scream escaped from Ella nearly causing him to drop the glasses on the floor. He tried not to eavesdrop on the ongoing argument between mother and daughter, but the screams and sobs echoed through the closed door into his kitchen.

 

Rufus remained alert, laying in the hallway and facing the door where the tantrum stemmed from, wanting to keep a close eye on Ella. He didn’t seem overly phased by the outburst, almost as if the dog went into an immediate protective mode with Ella when he heard the first sound of distress (long before Scott ever did). Scott stared out at his dog, shaking his head while placing the damp towel on the counter wondering what possessed Ella the past day.

 

_The previous night, Tessa instructed Ella to clean up her toys, so they wouldn’t forget anything in the morning. Instead of obeying sweetly, like she always does, she refused and ended up running around the living room with Rufus._

 

_“I got it,” Scott said to Tessa picking up on her frustration._

 

_He grabbed hold of Ella, fluently raising her in the air, causing laughter and screams of delight to emit from her. Tickling her stomach, he cradled her against his chest, before giving her a look. Worry flashed in Ella’s eyes, blushing, and looking down at the ground while playing with her hands._

_“Ella, you need to pack up your toys because you wouldn’t want to forget them and not be able to play with them until Christmas,” said Scott. He crouched down and placed around her back pulling her close._

_“I know,” Ella pouted._

 

_“That wasn’t nice what you did to your mommy, I think you hurt her feelings. What do you say when you do that?” He eyed her carefully, briefly moving his gaze between Tessa and Ella. Tessa stared at the two of them carefully, amazed at the sudden calmness and in some ways obedience she saw in Ella._

 

_Ella huffed out loud, turning her attention towards Tessa. “I’m sorry Mommy. I’ll pack my toys now.”_

_“It’s okay, sweetheart. How about we all work together? Teamwork after all.”_

_The three of them began gathering up her toys, laughing and having fun. Yet, as the toys were picked up from the ground, Scott suddenly felt like he was losing the little family that quickly came into his life. A family that was only supposed to stay with him for a few days, but it turned into nearly a week. A week that passed in the blink of an eye, the quick routine that was developed disappearing._

 

Scott sat down on the couch, trying to tune out the screaming knowing that it would be best not to interrupt whatever was going on. He tried distracting himself with videos from his teams’ last practice and taking notes but couldn’t hear past the shouting from both Ella and Tessa. He never heard Tessa yell like this before and so consistently which was enough to startle him.

 

“Ella, you need to put on your shoes and finish getting dressed. The airplane will not wait for us,” Tessa sternly said through the doors.

 

“NO! The stupid airplane can leave without me,” defiantly screeched Ella.

 

Scott heard the thump of shoes being thrown across the room, as well as another tearful sob.

 

There was a moment of silence.

 

“Ella, if you don’t have your shoes or shirt on by the time I get back you will be in big trouble. No iPad, no movies, and no treats.”

 

Another scream of pent-up frustration escaped from the almost four-year-old, causing the door to open and shut quickly. Tessa leaned her head against the door, her eyes tightly closed committing to her deep breathing exercises momentarily. More thumping and kicking of the door were heard from inside the room, causing Tessa to shake her head and mutter something that Scott would not make out knowing it was best to sit here on his computer and pretend that he was getting work done while he waited.

 

Tessa soon found him, plopping down next to him on the couch letting out an angry breath of air. “I am trying to recall why I fooled myself into thinking parenting was easy? Being around nieces and nephews at family gatherings is deceiving, not to mention babysitting them.”

 

Scott chuckled pausing the video, he actually wasn’t paying attention to. “What happened this time?”

 

“I think she is tired from this week of exploring. I’m not sure if she got her normal amount of sleep seeing that she was with you as soon as she heard her alarm go off.” Tessa eyed Scott carefully, then proceeded to divert her attention towards the off television. “It’ll be good to get back home and develop a new, normal routine.”

 

He gulped and nodded, trying not to let the words bother him about a routine that didn’t consist of his moments with Ella in the morning. He couldn’t make it bother him; Ella wasn’t his and would never be his. “How often does she do this?”

 

“Rarely. I lucked out with Ella being so calm and eager to follow the rules, while hardly ever acting out. I don’t know what came over here right now, I’m exhausted.” Tessa’s complete expression appeared weary, as she rubbed her eyes and let out a long sigh as another kick came to the door. “I’m sorry if there is any damage. I promise I’ll pay for the havoc she causes in that room.”

 

“Don’t worry about it. I’m happy that you came and had a good time,” shrugged Scott.

 

Tessa raised an eyebrow twisting her body to face him more directly. “I don’t understand why you are so good to us, all things considered about our past. I know you say it is because you care about me . . . I can’t figure you completely out right now, Moir.”

 

“And it obviously irks you,” He teased, giving her a nudge.

 

She rolled her eyes in response.

 

“Having you guys here made it a good week, a great week even. Ever since Kaylee and I became separated and went through the divorce, my usual friend group here fell apart. Sure, I have Patch, Marie, Sam, and others, but they are people I work with. I can’t spend every amount of free time with them. That would be too much.”

 

“Are you implying you don’t have a life? The energizer bunny who had a group of friends to hang out with on speed dial? Am I talking to the same Scott I grew up with?” She asked slightly stunned.

 

Scott laughed and shook his head, exiting out of the video viewer and closing his laptop. “That Scott is still there, just not as prominent as he used to be. Guess I grew up even more after PyeongChang, who knew it was possible.”

 

“I did, I always did,” replied Tessa.

 

They suddenly realized that the shrieks of outrage and frustration died down on the other side of the guest room door, Tessa breathing out a sigh of relief and relaxing her body into the couch. Scott reached over and touched her hand tentatively, before placing his laptop securely on the coffee table. He glanced at the white door, then back over at Tessa, and then at Rufus whose tail was wagging as usual.

 

“Do you want to go check on her?” asked Tessa hopefully.

 

Scott glanced over at her. “I can.”

 

She nodded, giving him the green light to walk over to the door. As he strolled down the hallway away from the living room, Rufus stood up and following him innately knowing where Scott was going to go. Scott stood outside the white wooden door, raising his hand and gently knocking on the door to wait for a response.

 

“No, Mommy. Don’t come in,” trembled Ella on the other side.

 

“It’s Scott and Rufus,” He replied back to her. “Are we allowed in?”

 

He saw the door handle move open, to reveal a teary-eyed Ella and a somewhat mess of the room. The bed was left a complete disaster, exposing just the fitted sheet, with pillows scattered around the room. As he peered around the room, he also noticed that the neatly packed suitcases were now discarded with belongings, trying not to blush at the site of Tessa’s bras and underwear scattered out in the open. Accompanying the clothes, hangers that were in the guest closet were spread across the floor with Ella’s clothes halfway hung on several of them, with her sitting down next to them.

 

Ella did not want to leave.

 

Scott closed the door behind him, letting Rufus wander in to start licking Ella’s face causing a smile to temporarily cloud the sadness seeping through her body. Tears slowly dripped from her jade eyes, sniveling every once in a while, with her focus on hanging up her clothes on the hangers. Scott sat down on the floor next to her, his back leaning up against the bed observing her and trying to find the right thing to say.

 

“Do you need help with that?” He finally asked.

 

Ella looked up from what she was doing to meet him and nodded his head, handing him the shirt she struggled to put onto the hanger that kept falling off.

 

“Sometimes certain shirts make it difficult to stay on the hanger. Especially the spaghetti strap tank tops. Here you go.” Scott managed to get the tank top on the hanger, before passing it to Ella who put it in the stack of hung clothes next to her continuing her system she had going—something that reminded him of Tessa. “So, what is your plan kiddo?”

 

“What do you mean?” Her eyes remained focused on hanging the next shirt. “I’m staying here.”

 

He nodded his head slowly, grabbing a shirt off the ground and handing it to her. “What about your mommy? Won’t you miss her a lot? Who will read you stories before you go to sleep and give you a bath?”

 

“You.”

 

Scott’s heart fluttered momentarily, nearly distracted from the daunting task on hand. “Well, I can’t do that because I would be taking you away from your mommy.”

 

Ella bit her lip, wiping away a few tears as well as her hair that remained a mess from her outburst earlier. “I don’t want to leave. Mommy is happy, and I’m happy, and I learned how to skate. Mommy won’t take me skating at home.”

 

“I’m sure she will if you ask. Did you know that my family owns a skate shop? You can get yourself a new pair of skates.”

 

“I guess,” She sighed placing the unhung shirt to the side suddenly giving up on hanging up her things in an attempt to stay. “I don’t want to say goodbye to you or Rufus.”

 

“The goodbye isn’t forever, kiddo,” said Scott, gently pulling her close to his side. “I will be home around Christmas, and maybe we can see each other.”

 

Ella wiped at her nose, sniveling once more and tears accompanying it. “That’s too far away. You’re going to forget about Mommy and me.”

 

“Never, Ella. You and your mother are very important to me, and I’m sure Rufus will agree.” Scott looked over at Rufus, who managed to make his way up to rest his head on Ella’s lap. She softly pet the dog, her breathing slightly irregular trying not to get herself worked up. “Can I see your iPad?”

 

She gave him a curious look but managed to find it buried under the pile of her pants and socks on the ground. Scott examined the iPad quickly, letting out a silent moment of glee that the screen was not cracked during this meltdown. He opened it up and began adding his contact information, as well as his email, into the iPad seeing Ella stare at it intently.

 

“You see this name in here?” He pointed at it on the screen, watching Ella stare at the letters on the screen then looked back up at him. “If you ever want to talk to me or see Rufus, you can press this video call button. I can’t promise I will pick up all the time because of work, but I promise I will most of the time.”

 

Tears welled up in Ella’s eyes, as she wrapped her arms around Scott’s shoulders. “I’m going to call you every day after I eat dinner to tell you what I did. I’m doing dance, so I can even show you what I learn.” She began babbling about everything she would show him, causing his entire body to feel warm at the thought of talking to her every day. He was going to miss being around this little girl so much, he didn’t know how he would be apart from her for five months.

 

“I’ll miss you, Ella. This apartment is going to be empty without you and your toys,” He said after the conversation died down. “But, every great vacation needs to come to an end. Now, how about we clean up this mess before your mommy sees?”

 

“Okay,” She nodded. “Oh, and Scott?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

She pressed her lips up against his cheek. “Thanks for making my mommy happy.”

* * *

Tessa drove up the windy road to the family cottage, sunroof open to let the fresh October breeze drift in the car. Ella sat in the backseat staring out the window, mesmerized by the red, yellow, and orange splattered amongst the trees on the country road. It was one of Tessa’s favorite times of the year, due to the strong memories associated with the autumn days that involved Thanksgiving at the family cottage and the start of competition season. It was the same season that Mark proposed, and the same season Ella came to be.

 

The past few months were busy, with both Virtue girls settling back into the London life. Tessa immersed herself back into work, assisting and designing costumes for figure skating or dance competitions, and working with Hillberg and Berk to continue her solid jewelry line. She eased back into work life effortlessly while being able to arrange her trips into Toronto to being only three times a week.

 

Ella turned four late August, with her only birthday wish being a pair of her own skates and to practice skating every Saturday morning during open skate. So, on the day of Ella’s birthday, Tessa surprised Ella by taking her to Moir’s Skate Shop to meet a teary-eyed Alma Moir. They laughed, they cried, and Alma took Tessa and Ella in the back to give a more personal fitting for skates with Alma (even giving Ella a tour of the shop). During the entire time in the shop, Tessa couldn’t help but keep glancing over at the images on the wall that never moved: her and Scott at the Vancouver and PyeongChang Olympics’. An image that would forever continue to pull at her hearts, when everything was great.

 

Then there was Scott in the present day, continuing to slip his way effortlessly into their lives. Their evening routine consisted of Tessa cooking a simple dinner, while Ella sat on the couch with her iPad waiting for the clock to turn seven, so she could call Scott. Unintentionally the two established a time where they would video chat after her dance class three times a week, where Ella would tell Scott nearly every detail about her day.

 

Scott would even sometimes still be on video chat when Tess and Ella ate dinner, telling them funny stories or talking about his day about work. Even though the three of them video chatted several nights a week for a couple of hours, Tessa would always find herself curling into bed and giving Scott a call to talk to him further. He was a comfort to her, slowly slipping into her system and never fading. Tessa didn’t realize this, but he was becoming a part of her again. A part of her that would stay.

 

Although, Tessa did know she missed him more than she would even openly admit. Missed the routine they established in a short time in Montreal and missed the way he captured Ella’s focus. During some of her restless nights, her mind would drift to hard conversations they had about Mark and Kaylee and how they handled it with candor and acceptance. They were there for each other, the same way they were there for each other all of those years on the ice again.

 

Then there were her nights where she drifted back to those intimate and heated moments that happened that week. The moments where she wanted to tell Scott the truth about what happened between them, the moments that were always interrupted. There was the moment on the balcony where he told her about Kaylee and their marriage falling apart, where their lips were only a mere few inches apart. Or every part of being on the ice with him again, watching him teach her little girl how to skate. Then the dancing, the touch of his hair in her hands . . . his body pressed up against hers, both transported back in time when they were young. And the way he held her that entire night, close to his side and never letting her go.

 

Tessa’s thoughts began drifting to Scott, as she turned on the last road that led to the cottage. She was disappointed to hear that he was unable to make it back to Ilderton for the Thanksgiving holidays due to the demanding work schedule. And even if he had, she doubted she would also get to see him. He would be there for the time with his family, not her and Ella. “He isn’t your first priority, at least not anymore,” Tessa would tell herself repeatedly. Yet, her mind wandered to his connection with Ella, their re-blooming friendship, and the pull she constantly felt towards him.

 

Yet, she didn’t know if Montreal was a fluke and her mind was playing tricks on her.

 

Christmas couldn’t come sooner.

* * *

“It is time to go around the table and say what we are thankful for,” announced Kate, halfway through the Thanksgiving meal. She dabbed at her lips with the orange cloth napkin, then took a sip of her red wine before staring at her family surrounding the cottage dining room table.

 

Kevin and Casey immediately rolled their eyes, both getting a pointed glare from their wives, while Jordan let out a long moan and Tessa sat in silence. The Virtues were always a family for tradition, making sure to still decorate sugar cookies on Christmas Eve or eat Chinese food on New Year’s Eve, but never once did they enjoy partaking on this stereotypical family tradition. Casey would always comment with his usual “isn’t this an American thing?” and Kevin would say the food upset his stomach, while Jordan would defiantly shovel food in her mouth to prevent herself from answering. Only Tessa was the child that cooperated and the only one smart enough to continue getting offered the first piece of the pie.

 

Right when Kevin stood up to excuse himself, Kate grabbed ahold of his sleeve and yanked him down into his seat to give him a pointed glare. He rolled his eyes in response, pouting like a little boy, and slumped down in his chair. “Not this shit again, Ma,” He muttered, not control his volume loud enough, so the entire Virtue clan heard it.

 

“Kevin, there are children at this table,” sternly said Kate. She glanced at Ella and Poppy who were sitting the closest to Kevin.

 

Poppy shrugged her shoulders, nibbling on her bread roll. “It’s okay. Daddy swears too, and Mommy taught me not to repeat those words. I know those are words adults say when they are frustrated.”

 

“Or horny,” muttered Casey, who sat next to Tessa. She shot him a look then looked over at Ella who didn’t appear to hear what Casey said. Ella remained focused on the conversation between Kate and Kevin, with Kevin rolling his eyes and leaning his head back in the chair. 

 

“What word did Uncle Kevin say?” asked Ella.

 

“Nothing,” Tessa jumped in quickly, seeing Kevin’s mouth open to respond to his niece. “Ignore what Uncle Kevin said, sweetheart. How are your turkey and mashed potatoes?” She gave Kevin a pointed glare, and he shrugged it off glancing over at a very pregnant Michele.

 

Casey shifted in his chair, grabbing the bottle of wine and dumping a heaping amount into his glass, before relaxing back into the wicker kitchen chair. “Alright, this isn’t enough alcohol to get me through this ungodly cringy tradition, but it’ll have to do. Can we get this show on the road?”

 

Kate cleared her throat, rolling back her tense shoulders while taking a bite of her mixed veggies on her plate. She nodded her head slowly, before glancing over at Jordan who began her routine of shoveling food in her mouth, so she didn’t have to speak, then back over at Kevin who was quietly being told off by Michele. The others remained relaxed, enjoying the food and company and not batting an eye at this tradition.

 

“I am thankful for my family, our health, and everyone’s continued success. It makes me proud as a mother to see my children living their best life despite any hurdles around the way and to have met amazing partners.” Kate beamed at her response causing nearly the entire table to melt, including Tessa despite being slightly lonely without Mark here. It still wasn’t the same.

 

Her mother looked towards Kevin to continue the tradition, who grumpily sat up straight. “I’m thankful for Michele, our beautiful son coming any day now, and everyone’s health. I’m thankful Tessa that you are doing well despite what happened several months ago. I wish for all of us to be happy.” He rocked back in his chair, giving his mother a look to see if she was impressed. “Satisfied, Ma?”

 

Kate reached across and pat Kevin’s knee, nodding her head.

 

The rest of the table went around saying what they are thankful for, telling all of the cliché things. Casey rolled his eyes, continued muttering about why the family has to be so usual with traditions, ignoring the consistent smack he kept getting from his wife. Tessa continued chewing her food, laughing at Jordan managing to escape answer right now, smiled at Poppy’s cute response but suddenly worried when it came back around the table to Ella.

 

“Okay, Ella your turn. What are you thankful for?” asked Kate.

 

Ella swallowed her food and looked over at Tessa for encouragement, who smiled and gave her daughter a reassuring pat on the leg.  “I’m thankful for Mommy, my family, and . . .” She squirmed around in her seat. “I forget something.”

 

“It’s okay, you can tell us later,” smiled Kate.

 

“Oh! I know!” Ella exclaimed, the thought flooding back into her. “Scott Moir, I’m thankful for him.”

 

The entire table went silent, Jordan’s fork falling from her hands and clinking on the plate, her mouth slightly open matching the rest of the family members. Tessa’s face flushed, her eyes immediately focusing back on her food. Well shit, that wasn’t the time and place Tessa wanted to let her family know—especially her mom and Jordan.

 

“That’s . . . That’s wonderful,” sputtered out Kate unsure to respond.

 

“Why are you thankful for Scott?” asked Jordan, not caring that her mouth was filled with food. Jordan’s eyes beckoned to find Tessa whose gaze remained focused on the food in front of her. She wanted to cut Ella off, to move the topic to something else, but she knew it was going to be wrong either way. Tessa had no choice but to ride out the tide.

 

“He makes Mommy laugh, a lot, in person or on FaceTime,” continued Ella. “And I like it when Mommy laughs and smiles. It was what Daddy used to make Mommy do a lot.”

 

Tessa squeezed her eyes shut, praying that this was all a dream. She didn’t blame Ella for bringing this up, in fact, she blamed herself for failing to mention the extent that Scott entered back into her life or even the innate connection Scott and Ella possessed.

 

“Have you been watching old videos of them in interviews? Because it is quite hysterical,” said Casey. He sat back in his seat to make eye contact with his little niece, who continued playing with her food on her plate. “I mean Tessa and Scott aren’t really friends anymore from my understanding.” Casey’s eyes moved from Ella to Tessa’s slumped body.

 

“Casey,” started Tessa, her voice barely above a whisper. “I can explain, it isn’t what you think.”

 

Ella shook her head, nibbling on her mashed potatoes. “No, when we visited him in Montreal. He taught me how to skate, I went to work with him, while Mommy slept at his apartment.”

 

Tessa felt her face growing pale, making sure to keep her head glued downwards. She quietly excused herself, pushing out the chair and scattering out of the dining room while tuning out Ella’s babbles about Scott and Rufus. She knew it was wrong to keep something like this from her family, especially with how close her and Ella got to Scott, but she didn’t know how to quite bring it up. Scott was always a sensitive subject to the family, especially since their relationship and friendship ended on an incredibly bitter note.

 

She leaned against the countertop in the kitchen, her hands resting on either side of her head, trying to coax herself to calm down. Anxiety stirred deep within her, restricting her breathing as if she could pass out at any moment. Wiping away the tears glistening at the corners of her eyes, Tessa adjusted her wool sweater and continued trying to steady her breathe and prevent the ensuing panic attack from occurring.

 

Tessa remained lost in her own little world, startled from it all when she felt Jordan’s warm hand touch her own. She made eye contact with her sister, who gave Tessa a tense smile before leaning up against her on the counter.

 

“I think we need to talk,” said Jordan drawing out every word. 

 

Tessa wiped at her tears a little longer, crossing her arms firmly against herself trying to provide herself comfort. “Jord, what Ella said out there . . . it isn’t what you think.”

 

“What I think is that you have relied on Scott Moir to comfort you more than us. Which is fine and all but considering what he did to you at the bar I—” Jordan bit her lip shaking her head, flickering her hand in the air. “Why? That is the only thing I want to know.”

 

“He was there for me on the funeral and continued being there as a friend.” She chewed at her bottom lip, refusing to make eye contact with her sister. Her green eyes stared into the floor as her entire body attempted to relax.

 

Jordan let out a frustrated sigh, pinching the bridge between her nose. “And we weren’t? Tess, you don’t know how many times I tried reaching out to you or distracting you. Fuck, I was the first one to see you the night the accident happened. I took off work for weeks, and you know how uptight my boss is about time off.” Her hands lifted off the bridge of her nose, struggling to find Tessa’s eyes.

 

“Jord,” Tessa stated, clenching her jaw.

 

“What did we do to become the last resort? What did I do?” The hurt Jordan was feeling was evident. The pent-up emotions from the past few months, the lack of talking, or having weekend get together, and the frustration it caused Jordan was finally seeping out of her.

 

“You weren’t there in the way I needed you to be. I can’t explain it, but Scott knows me. He knows what I need, he knows how to make me happy even if I’m at my lowest point. I—” Tessa moved her hands trying to find the right words to explain how the situation truly was, but she couldn’t even explain it at all. “Can’t you just be happy that I’m finally getting back on track?”

 

“I am happy for you, Tess, of course, I’m happy. I just feel like I was left in the dark while you get close with your ex-skating partner, ex-boyfriend, and ex-best friend,” She exasperated, then laughed somewhat manically at all the ways she described the long past between Scott and Tessa. “It is as if you forgot how he just took off and left you to go to Montreal.”

 

“Things were different and weird then,” Tessa breathed.

 

“And they aren’t now?” exclaimed Jordan, startling Tessa. “You are widowed in your thirties, you have a daughter who is growing up without a father figure while falling in love with the ex-love-of-your life. Tess, do you not understand how messed up it is?”

 

Tessa’s calmness slowly started to fade, and anger built up in her rapidly. “I agree it is messed up and strange, but what was I supposed to do? Tear Ella away from the person that makes her happy? She loves Scott, I know she does, and they have a special connection. I won’t take that away from her, it’ll break her heart. And for the record, I’m not sleeping with him.”

 

Jordan clenched her fists, trying to calm herself down. “I know, and I get how you see that as precious and important. I’m worried that he will just get up and walk away from you two again. He will find someone and move on, and that’ll be it. Ella might even be close to him and then what?”

 

Tessa shut her eyes and shook her head. “He wouldn’t do that, Jordan, I know he won’t.”

 

“That’s what you have said your entire life. Scott screws up, abandons you, and comes back into your life. You fall for him, and then he leaves. I don’t want to see you hurt after Mark.”

 

Jordan’s fears were rational, and Tessa knew it but didn’t want to admit to herself. Scott and Tessa had gone on a few cycles similar to this in the past, but that was before everything happened. Their breakup from their relationship was on Tessa, and their friendship drifting apart was on Scott. Yet, their reconnection this time was different, and, in many ways, it felt more genuine than ever before. They opened up to each other more, they continued caring about each other, and somehow strengthened their connection more.

 

Before Tessa could even respond, Casey poked his head into the kitchen with a look of worry on his face. Neither one of the sisters knew how much their conversation echoed into the dining room, but that wasn’t their primary concern at this moment. He cleared his throat, causing both Jordan and Tessa to meet his eyes. “Uh, Ma is about to serve the pie. Are you guys coming soon?”

 

“Yes,” said Jordan walking away from the tense air in the kitchen first. “Tessa and I were just having a little chat, but we can continue another time. It is the holidays after all.”

 

And with that, it left Tessa alone in the kitchen feeling more confused than ever.

* * *

Tessa couldn’t fall asleep that night and found herself tossing and turning, to the point where she was astounded Ella didn’t wake up next to her. She laid on her side facing away from Ella, staring out the French doors that led down to the water to see the moonlight casting a beautiful pattern on the dark, calm waters.  She gazed at her sleeping daughter, thoughts drifting in her mind about the conversation she had with Jordan several hours ago.

 

It was likely that Jordan’s concerns would become a reality. Scott would meet someone else that would give him the future he always dreamed, then she and Ella would slowly slip out of his life naturally or at least drift apart from where they were now. Tessa lost Scott in her life several times before, and she knew she could get it through again, but could Ella? Ella was slowly becoming attached to Scott, despite not seeing him in person for several months. She talked about him all the time, called him several times a week, and even brought him up at dinner . . .

 

Tessa swallowed, starting to begin her breathing exercises and attempted to calm her thoughts, but knew she needed fresh air. Ella remained to be peacefully asleep, as Tessa crawled out of bed and draped a heavy, fleece blanket around her body, before creaking open the door and walking down towards the lake. She gripped her phone in her hand, letting the moonlight guide her down the steps that led to the dock feeling more at ease as the cold air flooded her lungs.

 

She sat down on one of the Muskoka chairs on the dock, taking in the serenity around her. There were many people up at the cottages on Bayfield enjoying their last weekend for their season cottages. Tessa glanced at her phone seeing that it was nearly two a.m., her eyes rolling back as her body relaxed in the chair drifting in and out of her racing thoughts.

* * *

  _“Sometimes I can’t fall asleep at night. My thoughts keep me up,” admitted Tessa. She squirmed slightly on the blanket that laid on the grass, trying to get comfier never moving her eyes from the stars in the sky._

 

“What do you think about?” asked Scott, his hands behind his neck.

 

_She let out a long breath, her eyes moving to meet his. “The routines, my grades, home . . . my weight.” Tessa whispered the last word, hoping Scott didn’t hear because she didn’t want to necessarily talk about it. They had been struggling with incorporating some new lifts to their programs this year, with Marina blaming it due to Tessa. Tessa wasn’t as thin as Meryl, Tessa needed to lose at least fifteen pounds._

 

_Scott’s breathe caught, as he turned to face Tessa grabbing her hand. “You’re perfect to me.”_

_“But you can’t lift me,” whispered Tessa._

_“Because I’m weak,” He laughed, and Tessa gave him a tiny smile._

_After a few minutes of silence, Scott’s goofy grin turned into a stoic face, pulling Tessa close to him. “Regardless of Marina being ignorant, you know that you can always call me if your thoughts keep you up at night.”_

_Tessa let out a forced laugh. “Even if it is two a.m.? You won’t answer your phone, even if you knew where it is.”_

_Scott shook his head, pressing his lips into her hair taking in her strawberry scented shampoo. “I’ll always have my phone on and next to me before I go to sleep. I promise you that.”_  

* * *

 

 Tessa thought back to the memory, her hand hovering over the call button with Scott’s contact information pulled up on her phone. She knew it was two a.m., she knew he was busy with work, but something deep inside told her to phone him. The anxious thoughts raced through her mind, her heart pounding in her chest, as she took the plunge and hit call on her phone immediately hearing the ring.

 

Scott answered on the third ring, slightly dazed and alarm as he said her name into the phone. Then as she breathed, speechless on the other side of the phone, Scott relaxed after making the connection. “Anxious about something, T?”

 

She heard the rustling of the sheets, picturing him sitting up and turning on his light to listen to her.

 

“I didn’t know if what you promised me all those years ago still applied, but I thought it was worth a try,” replied Tessa as she stuttered out.

 

“You know that would never change,” tentatively said Scott.

 

Tessa closed her eyes, focusing on his voice to calm her thoughts. “Today was my first holiday without Mark, and I thought it was going to be horrible, but it wasn’t.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yeah,” She breathed, “because I know I’m not alone. I know I have my family to support me from here on out and that despite the emotional turmoil Ella has been through she is happy and thankful.” Tessa passed, biting her lip already feeling her eyes sting with the upcoming tears.

“She is thankful for you, Scott.”

 

There was silence on the other line, apart from the faint breathing. Tessa could visualize Scott running his hands through his hair, trying to comprehend everything that she just said. It was somewhat of a risky decision, especially if Scott didn’t realize the extent of what he had done for Ella. How Ella looked up to him, saw him as a role model, and someone that she could talk to every day with no judgment. Scott captivated Ella’s heart, and while Tessa knew that Ella never openly said that she loved Scott, Tessa knew it was a matter of time before it would come out.

 

“And I’m thankful for you too, Scott, so thankful,” choked out Tessa letting the tears she was battling back win.

 

“Tess,” He sighed into the phone, “There is so much I want to say . . . Damn it, I wish I were there. You don’t know how tempted I was to take off and go home for this weekend.”

 

“Why is that?” She bravely questioned.

 

“Because I can’t get you and Ella out of my mind,” Scott exclaimed, “Not since the minute you stepped on the plane in Montreal.” Little did Tessa know that Scott himself had gone on a date the previous night, due to a friend hooking him up, and it had gone horribly, to the point where they didn’t even make it past appetizers in the meal.

 

The braveness continued to fill Tessa, her blinking her eyes slowly getting the final bit of tears away. Her heart still wasn’t entirely over Mark, but her heart was also slowly opening up to possibilities. “Stay with us at Christmas, Scott,” whispered Tessa, soft at first but her tone rising as she continued. “Use my house as your home base or something, but I want you there more than anything.” She knew it was forward, being too caught up in the moment feeling the love and care radiating from Scott towards her over the phone.

 

He took no time in his response. “There’s no place I’d rather be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! I don't have much to say other than get ready because another time jump will be happening next chapter. It will be December and Scott is coming to London. Let's see what transpires, okay?
> 
> Thanks for the continued support! Your comments blow me away each time and I try to respond to all of them.


	10. Good to Be Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott arrives in town for the holidays not sure what to expect.

“Scott, you there?” shouted Sam, knocking on the door to Scott’s office at Gadbois.

 

Scott paused the video he was watching the past hour intently, taking meticulous notes about adjustments that needed to be made to one of the senior teams him and Patch were co-coaching. He leaned back in his chair, taking off his baseball cap to smooth back his hair, before resting his hands behind his neck. “Hey, I didn’t know you were stopping in today,” grinned Scott.

 

“I wasn’t until Sabrina called,” replied Sam. He raised his eyebrows at Scott, whose attention quickly became diverted back to his computer. Sam shook his head, pulling up the other share in Scott’s office close to the desk. “Pas bon?”

 

“Oui,” murmured Scott, in the most monotone voice.

 

“I thought she was nice, your type and all,” stated Sam. He leaned back in his head, moving his head back and forth to pop his neck. His hand found his chin, lightly combing through his facial hair. “I can’t figure you out, you said you were moved on from Kaylee. I can always try another friend.”

 

Scott clenched his jaw. “I am, Sam, but Sabrina wasn’t it. She was too nice and—” He paused trying to find the right words to describe the date. “I don’t need you to set me up with anyone, I already know who I want from here on out.”

 

Sam gave him a curious look leaning forward. “C’est Tessa?”

 

He continued clenching his jaw, nearly grinding his teeth together. Scott continued playing the video from practice again, to ignore Sam’s inklings about his feelings.

 

“I knew it,” grinned Sam. He resumed to his relaxed position in the chair, shaking his head, and letting out a chuckle. “Tu aimes Tessa encore?”

 

“You know my French fucking sucks, Sam. Why do you even bother?”

 

“Don’t change the topic,” pressed Sam, a devilish grin spreading on his face. “So, what are you doing about it?”

 

Scott exasperated, tearing his eyes away from the computer to glare at Sam. “Nothing except be there for her in whatever capacity she wants, and right now, she needs a friend. She needs someone to talk to about what she is going through and also help her look out for her daughter.”

 

“And you’re doing that remotely?”

 

“Yes, no, I don’t know.” Scott slammed his computer screen closed, figuring it was time to go home and start packing for his a few weeks back at home in Ilderton and London. He hadn’t given much detail about what he would be doing at home to Marie-France or Patrice but knew that they suspected something was going on and he wouldn’t be exclusively at home. “Listen, I need to go and drop Rufus off at Kaylee’s since she is watching him for a few days, before giving him to Billie-Rose to watch. Can we talk about this in the New Year?”

 

“I have one more thing to say if that is okay,” stated Sam, finally getting eye contact back with Scott. “What are you going to do if she never feels the same way?”

 

Scott sighed and adjusted the baseball cap on his head, before resuming to pack up his stuff. “That part doesn’t matter to me Sam, I just know that she and her little girl are the only things I want in life and I will continue to be a part of it no matter what.”

 

“And what if she pushes you away?”

 

Scott swallowed, ignoring Sam’s question. He slipped on his oversized parka and gloves, his eyes never leaving Sam’s. “After all of the shit, we have been through we keep finding the path back to each other in some capacity. That can’t be a coincidence, right?”

 

Sam smiled sappily. “Non, Scott. You are each other’s soulmates since fate continues to bring you together.”

 

* * *

 

Scott stood in line waiting to get off the plane, trying to remain pleasant and calm while the people in front of him collected their overhead suitcases. He tapped his foot out of anticipation for getting off the plane, his arms against his chest, wanting more than anything to get off the plane. After the clarity he gained since the summer, he knew that the insanely gorgeous woman and her daughter were the only two girls he wanted in his life from here on out.

 

He meant what he said, every word of it when he told Sam that Tessa remained the only girl in the world left for him. It sounded ridiculous as if he lived in a Nicholas Spark’s novel, but it was a feeling that he couldn’t shake. The two dates he went on since his divorce was made official, ended up disastrous. The only thing Scott saw a future with was Tessa, which in many ways was insane. She was widowed, who knew how soon her heart would move on, and who knew if she even remained interested in him.

 

But Scott was nearly positive she felt something.

 

“Eager to see someone?” asked the man in front of him, who waited for an inexperienced traveler to fumble the suitcases for his family up above. “You look like you are about to run people over.”

 

Scott let out a short laugh, slightly embarrassed that he hadn’t learned to have a poker face yet when it came to his emotions. “Excited to be home for the holidays,” He shrugged, adjusting the backpack draped against one shoulder.

 

The man shook his head. “Finally seeing your girl again, eh?”

 

“Girls actually,” said Scott, feeling the ripple of heat on his neck.

 

“Do you travel a lot? Is that why you are away from your wife and kids?” The man pressed, almost getting glee out of seeing the embarrassment written all over his face.

 

The line began moving, a sense of relief flowing through Scott’s veins, silencing the man that stood in front of him. Scott thanked the pilots and flight attendants for the flight, wishing them “Happy Holidays” before climbing off the plane to get into the tunnel that led to the gates. The man was well ahead of him now, seemed to be in a rush to get to his family, while Scott tried to retain a reasonable pace to not look like he was too eager and that his heart wasn’t pounding, and butterflies weren’t racing around his stomach. Yet, it was, and he kept swallowing as he walked through the gate and further file out of the security area.

 

He heard their voices before he saw them.

 

“Ella, look there he is!” gleefully said Tessa pointing in Scott’s direction.

 

Scott’s head turned immediately to see Tessa holding Ella on her hip and quickly walking over to him. Tessa’s characteristic wide smile was evident on her face, with joy lit up when she approached Scott. He dropped the backpack slung over his shoulder, not caring that his laptop was inside of it, to open up his arms and wrap around Tessa and Ella, nearly smothering Ella in his embrace with Tessa. God, it felt great to have them there in person, to feel Tessa’s warmth radiate into him.

 

“We’re all together again!” squealed Ella.

 

Scott pulled away from the hug, his gaze falling down to Ella. Ella looked sleepy, especially knowing she was awake well before they left for the airport to meet his early morning arrival, but the excitement remained in her eyes. He outreached his arms to Ella, immediately taking her into his arms. “You’re so much bigger, kiddo. Soon you will outgrow my arms,” He laughed, swinging her back and forth.

 

“No, I don’t want to never get a hug from you again,” pouted Ella.

 

Scott chuckled, pressing a kiss into her hair. “I’m teasing, Ella. I’ll lift you up for as long as I can.”

 

“Trust me, you will never outgrow his arms,” silently said Tessa, meeting Scott’s eyes.

 

He gently placed Ella to the ground, giving Tessa another one of his hugs. Scott’s lips pressed against her cheek, before nuzzling his face into her neck taking in every last bit of her scent. The scent that hadn’t changed since the moment he first met her, the smell that was discernibly Tessa. It was Tessa, and in many ways, it felt like he genuinely came home. “You look happy,” Scott murmured.

 

“Now that you arrived,” She admitted back to him, looking down to see Ella wrapping her arms around Scott. Tessa was the first to pull back from the hug, finding his hands and letting out her intoxicating laugh. “So, don’t hate me on this, but you may or may not be sleeping in that antique bed you always hated.”

 

Scott gave Tessa a long look. “Are you serious, T? I thought you were planning on moving the bed to the cottage once you renovated . . . wait, I thought that bed broke?” He let out a small groan, inadvertently recalling the time he lived at the house with her. The time where they decided to christen every room. A time that he told himself he couldn’t think about when he stepped foot in Tessa’s house but was suddenly flooding back to him.

 

“Sorry that was stupid to bring up, I, uh—" He ran a hand through his hair, unsure why he was nervous to talk to her right now. The nerves that caused his thoughts to become muddled and him being incapable of distinguishing between right and wrong. Perhaps it was the fact that he knew how much he was falling for Tessa and falling for the idea of becoming part of her family.

 

She shook her head smiling, her cheeks slightly reddening remembering what he was referring to. Yet, she brushed off the awkward moment with ease. “It was an easy fix, just had to strengthen the box spring, but you know I couldn’t get rid of it because of it being a family piece,” droned Tessa, as the three of them began moving towards the baggage claim. “It has a new mattress and freshly washed sheets, so you should be comfortable.”

 

“I gave you my unicorn pillow for decoration,” beamed Ella, oblivious to the previous conversation. “The one I got for my birthday from Uncle Casey. Remember that one?” She grabbed ahold of Scott’s hands, as the bags began unloading onto the platform.

 

Scott squeezed Ella’s hands, nodding his head. “Of course, kiddo. You showed me all of your presents. How could I forget anything you tell me?”

 

She giggled, “I’m happy you are staying with us.”

 

“I’m happy too,” replied Scott. He let go of Ella’s hands, spotting his black, tattered suitcase to be one of the first to arrive on the conveyer belt. Scott hoisted it off the belt with little to no effort, before wheeling it over to Tessa and Ella. Looking back and forth at his girls, he ushered towards the door. “Well, Virtue women. Lead the way?”

 

“Can I, Mommy, please?” Ella pleaded. “There aren’t many people here.”

 

The airport was pretty empty, due to the lack of people arriving this early in the morning. It gave Tessa a sense of ease knowing that Ella wouldn’t get lost in the crowd, in which she quickly agreed to let her. Many people would criticize this parenting, saying Tessa wasn’t protective and failed to keep her daughter safe, but Tessa didn’t see it that way. The shrieks of happiness and following close to Tessa were enough to give her the satisfaction, that her daughter felt happy, and her eyes would never be off Ella long enough to let her escape.

 

Soon enough, Ella happily led the way for Scott and Tessa. Her rabbit remained close to her side, its ears bouncing up and down, as she skipped through the airport. The sleepiness seemed to suddenly wear off, replaced with eagerness, that became more apparent in every step. Tessa and Scott walked behind Ella, side-by-side, their hands dangling centimeters apart from each other causing butterflies to continue flutter in Scott’s stomach. Every ounce of him wanted to wrap his arm around her waist and pull her close to his side not wanting to have another moment without her right there.

 

He wanted to more than ever.

 

Scott let his heart take over for him at the moment, his fingers outreaching to delicately send sensations on Tessa’s hand and test the waters. They made eye contact out of the corner of their eyes, Tessa’s fingers extending outwards to beckon his hands in hers. He responded slowly by weaving his fingers through hers, their palms meeting, as they continued their walk towards the parking lot. Neither exchanging a word to each other but focusing on the four-year-old courageously leading the way towards the parked car, and the feeling of each other’s hands wrapped firmly together.

 

The group of three stepped outside the London airport doors, immediately being greeted by the fresh, cold breeze, and small snowflakes floating down the sky. Ella skipped in every step singing a song, pointing down at the prints she left in the snow and lost in her own little world, much like Tessa and Scott behind her. Their grip didn’t change when they stepped outside, with Tessa giving his hand a squeeze while they got closer to her white Acura SUV.

 

While they approached the car, Ella stopped and turned around to give them a bold smile. Tessa dug the key out of her coat pocket, to unlock the car and open the trunk, reluctantly removing her hand from Scott’s grip.

 

“I did it!” Ella shouted.

 

“Yes, you did, kiddo. You were great,” replied Scott. He wheeled his suitcase over to the trunk, picking it up to carefully place it in the trunk. Meanwhile, Tessa helped Ella into her booster seat doting on the excellent navigation towards the car.

 

Snowflakes were beginning to stick to Tessa’s hair, making her dark hair speckled. Scott stood behind her, nearly catching her off guard, as she shut the door to Ella’s door and turned around to face him. A snowflake stuck to Tessa’s eyelash, causing him to grin and reach his hand towards her face. “Hold still, Virtch, snowflakes are sticking to you everywhere.” Delicately, he brushed away the snowflakes from her eyelashes, his hand tracing her cheek. “There, you don’t want to be driving with snowflakes blocking your view.”

 

She rolled her eyes, yet still, let out her laugh. “How can I still laugh at your jokes twenty-five years later?”

 

Scott shrugged his shoulders.

 

“Ready to go see my home?” She stated. “I did some cleaning and shifted furniture around, maybe even updated a bit.”

 

Tessa bit her lip swaying back and forth, excited for a guest to stay in her home with the new updates. The white sofas were replaced with burgundy coverslips, the entire place began transformed into a Christmas wonderland, and she once again rearranged her own bedroom and closet. Not to mention, traces of Mark had extensively disappeared in her house since Scott last step foot in it. It was time to move on, time to stop staring at the things that would make Tessa feel pain when she woke up in the morning and when she went to sleep.

 

“Take me to Chateau Virtue,” Scott said extending his arms. He playfully jumped in the air, his heels clicking together, nearly slipping on the landing. He began walking towards the passenger side door, getting into the car rather quickly to escape the cold breeze.

 

Tessa stood outside a few more seconds, taking long breathes. “Take you home,” whispered Tessa, before she climbed in the car.

 

* * *

 

_“Scott, where do you want your hockey bag to go? The laundry room?” called Tessa, she eyed the enormous bag at her feet, poking it with her feet. She didn’t even want to know the last time everything was washed in there or how the abundance of dirty socks that were stuffed in the depths. That was the one thing she refused to deal with out of all of Scott’s stuff that he moved into the house and in many ways sent chills down her spine to even imagine the smell that would escape upon open._

_Tessa turned around to see Scott rounding the corner that led into the kitchen. He placed a box on the island countertop, giving him a toothy grin. He saw the discontent on her face, as he looked at the hockey bag at her feet then Tessa’s nose scrunching at the site of it._

_“Wherever you want it, Tess,” reassured Scott. He walked towards the hockey bag and picked it up effortlessly, before seeing Tessa point her finger in the direction of the laundry room. Taking the cue, he quickly moved it into the spacious laundry room, already seeing a spot reserved for it in the back corner._

_When he left the laundry room, he saw Tessa opening up the box he brought in on the kitchen sorting through his various beer glasses and giggling to herself. Scott leaned against the doorframe, smiling at his girl, his perfect girl that he now housed every single one of his items from his childhood to present day. They took that step together, finally making the transition from kinda living there to establishing a permanent place in Tessa’s home, correction their home._

_“I remember how excited you were to get this beer glass for your nineteenth birthday. You said it marked the age of maturity and becoming an adult,” She held up the beer glass with a worn Maple Leaf logo on it. “Charlie or Danny?”_

_“Mom,” He grinned, taking a step towards the countertop. “She had a speech planned about how I need to have fun but remember about the consequences for my actions. I fooled myself into thinking that nineteen meant I became a true man . . . clearly, I was stupid.”_

_Tessa met his eyes with humor on her face. “Took at least another ten years, maybe it’s still ongoing,” She teased._

_Twisting her body around, she reached up on her tiptoes to store the beer glass in one of her cabinets. It didn’t take Scott long until she felt his arms wrap around her waist, pulling Tessa close to his chest. He kissed the top of her shoulder, then trailed feathery kisses up her neck before reaching her cheek. Tessa let out a sigh, feeling Scott nuzzle his face into the crook of her neck._

_A laugh escaped Tessa’s lips, running her hands through his soft hair. “Don’t be getting any ideas, we have a lot to do before that happens.” A soft moan came from her lips, as Scott moved his lips to kiss the spot on her collarbone, managing to pull away part of her shirt. “Scott, babe, not right now.”_

_“I’m giving you a preview for later,” defended Scott._

_He placed his head back where it previously was, their heartbeats syncing up naturally._

_“Welcome home, Scott,” She whispered._

_“It’s good to be home.”_

 

* * *

 

Scott stood in the guest room that barely changed since the last time he set foot in it. The set of hand-crafted antique furniture, the refurbished chair, and the ruffled duvet remained the same. The only addition was the unicorn pillow that sat on the center of the bed, and a drawing Ella made for him to welcome him for Christmas. His hands were buried in his pockets, as he let out a long breathe trying not to remember the last time he was in this room.

 

He heard footsteps go down the hallway, stopping in front of the door to the room. Scott didn’t bother to turn around, already knowing which Virtue girl decided to come and see how he was doing. With a hand running through his hair, he walked over to the nightstand and started emptying his pockets with his wallet and phone on the nightstand. He gazed out the window that overlooked the crowded, London street, and saw that snow continued to dust the road.

 

“Is it weird being back here?” asked Tessa.

 

Scott turned around to face her, seeing her lean against the door frame with her arms snuggly against her chest. She chewed on her bottom lip, a characteristic quality of nervousness, while her gaze flickered between him and the bed. It became evident to Scott that she recalled that very same moment he thought about when he saw the bed. A lump formed in his throat, wondering if agreeing to stay with her for the two and a half weeks he had off was a good idea.

“No, yes . . . Kinda sorta,” responded Scott. He sat down on the reupholstered chair and continued holding Tessa’s eye contact. “But do I regret agreeing to this?” He gestured around the room, shrugging his shoulders. “No.”

 

Tessa gave him a small smile, wandering into the room. She sat down on the edge of the bed, her fingers lightly feeling the soft duvet cover, before grabbing the unicorn pillow Ella insisted Scott needed in his room. “There are extra hangers in the closet, and the dresser drawers are completely empty. I have extra blankets if you get could this room can be--”

 

“Drafty, I remember,” lightly said, Scott.

 

Her face flushed a light pink, standing up from the bed and adjusting her sweater. She walked over to the closet door and swung it open to reveal a considerable stock of hangers that covered the entire clothing rack.

 

“Woah, Virtch, did you think I would bring that many clothes?” He chuckled. Scott stood up from the chair and went over to his suitcase, unzipping it. His clothes were neatly folded in it, not close to being overstuffed by things. Buried underneath were some of the Christmas presents he bought in Montreal for various family members, including Tessa and Ella. “See the bare minimum, as I have learned over the years of travel.”

 

“And something I never did,” giggled Tessa, “I mean I overpacked for three days in Montreal.” She grabbed a handful of hangers to bring over to the bed, to help hang up the various shirts and pants Scott brought with him.

 

He grabbed a few shirts out of the stack and placed them on the edge of the bed, where Tessa began unfolding them and hanging them up. “I expected that, honestly. I went out and bought an extra pack of hangers the night before you arrived because I knew you would bring more than necessary.”

 

Tessa paused, holding an empty hanger and shirt in her hands. Her thumbs moved over the “Canada” letters on a PyeongChang Olympics shirt, remembering everything that happened around the time. The happiness she felt each day since they won the goal, the gratefulness she had Scott to be her rock, and the love she felt during their private moment backstage. A moment where he kissed her with such force and passion while murmuring “we did it” between the kisses . . . A moment that topped everything else in the Olympics.

 

The two former skating partners stood in the bedroom that had another memory for them and their twenty plus year relationship with one another. A memory that they thought would never be awkward and they would continue laughing about. It all felt so different, yet fantastic he was there. There in her house again to keep placing a mark on her and Ella’s life. To fill the house with laughter and smiles, with excellent homemade food, and yelling at the television about hockey. He integrated himself perfectly into their lives, to the point where Tessa felt like she could finally pack up Mark’s clothing and other various belongings and donate it to charity. She felt like she was beginning to move on, seven months later.

 

“Or you could have brought your unnecessary number of hangers to my place,” Scott joked, not noticing Tessa pausing. He placed some socks in the top drawer of the dresser, only pausing to find her weary eyes staring down at his favorite shirt from the Olympics. “T? Is everything okay?”

 

She nodded her head, resuming hanging his shirt. “These hangers were left over from Mark’s clothes. I, uh, recently found the courage to sort through his things and donate or give away. I kept one shirt, my favorite shirt of his, but the rest is gone.” She placed the shirt on the bed while sitting on the edge of it.

 

Scott’s grin fell from his face before he walked over to Tessa and leaned against the bed, placing an arm around her. “No one forced you to do that, right?”

 

“No, it was all me. My therapist told me that I’ll wake up and have the courage to truly move on and accept that Mark has passed.”

 

“Oh, Tess,” He sighed beginning to rub her arm. “Are you okay?”

 

She hesitated, before fully nodding her head. “Yeah, I am. Strangely I feel relieved that I don’t have to see his clothes every time I step into my closet, but at the same time, it makes it more real. More real that he is actually gone.”

 

“You’re the bravest person I know, you know that?” asked Scott, pulling her close to his side, “and I know you will continue to have this strength and courage to move on, but never forget how great he was.”

 

Tessa laughed dryly. “I wouldn’t go that far, but Scott I don’t think I would be this strong if it weren’t for you being there for me. I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you.”

 

“You don’t ever need to.” He placed a kiss on Tessa’s temple before they sat on the edge of the bed in silence.

 

* * *

 

_“Scott!” squealed Tessa, after he picked her up from her calves lifting her high in the air. Giggles escaped her mouth, as she felt his lips press against the fabric that covered her belly button. “We are supposed to be getting ready to go for a run.” He managed to maneuver his face underneath Tessa’s loose shirt, pressing wet kisses all over her stomach, slightly humming against her skin. His tongue graved over the sensitive skin near her belly button ring, causing her to tighten her hold on his hair._

 

_“Okay, then I’ll help you get changed,” Scott slyly said, raising his eyebrows. Scott yanked his head out from underneath her shirt, then carefully used one hand to move up Tessa’s shirt to reveal her black, lacy bra, while still maintaining holding onto Tessa to not let her slip. His lips found the freckles that fell between her breasts, planting soft kisses before lightly tracing his tongue on the slight cleavage exposed. Her breath caught, and her body tensed, at the new-found hunger._

 

_Tessa sighed and moved her hands to take off the rest of her shirt, hastily discarding it on the entrance floor. She pulled Scott’s heads away from her cleavage, a gleam in her eye. “I think my gym clothes are upstairs,” Tessa said winking at him._

 

_“I believe they are. Well let’s go find them,” He responded, a brow arched._

_Giving her no time to respond, Scott hoisted Tessa’s slim figure up further. He gently threw her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, his hands securely around her legs, as he began walking up the stairs. Laughter erupted from both of them, Tessa playfully smacking his butt and lower back, as he carefully went up each stair making sure she always remained secure. The blood was rushing to Tessa’s head, making the world slightly dizzy, but it didn’t’ matter to Tessa. It was sporadic Scott, sweeping her off her feet, literally, and making her days with him even better._

_As he approached the top step, he adjusted his grip on her, before rounding the corner. Except Scott didn’t take the familiar route to their bedroom, making Tessa curious as to where they would venture this time. They began falling into this unintentional habit to christen every room in Tessa’s house. It felt ridiculous, childish of some sort, but at the same time kept them on edge. Kept them exploring and creating everlasting memories, they would recreate periodically._

_“Oh, the antique room?” said Tessa, seeing them pass by the first guestroom door. “I thought we would start with the pink guestroom?” She giggled, after hearing a small growl emerge from Scott’s lips._

 

_“The pink room makes me think of a room a child would sleep in one day. This bed, on the other hand—” He stopped, flopping Tessa on the white, frilly sheets, “needs to be broken in and isn’t covered in an obnoxious assortment of pillows.”_

 

_Scott wasted no time on the floor before he hovered over her pressing his lips firmly against hers. They moved together in perfect synchronicity, their tongues intertwined, with Tessa’s hands yanking on his hair beckoning for more. Tessa’s legs slowly slipped open, letting his hip grind against hers to feel the hardness beneath his shorts. Another moan escaped Tessa’s lips, her hands anxiously moving to lift Scott’s shirt over his head to reveal his toned chest._

_His hand grazed her crotch causing her legs to clench around his hand. A smirk forming on Scott’s face, as he pulled back to look into her eyes. “Are you sure you still want to go on a run?” A devilish look danced in his eyes, rubbing her through the fabric of her underwear. Tessa’s hips bucked up in response causing a chuckle to come from Scott. “What do you want, Tess?”_

_“You,” said Tessa seductively, “all of you.”_

 

_Her neck moved upward to kiss him with such passion it made him come nearly undone there. The last remaining bit of clothing soon found its way in various directions in the room, his hardened length lining up with her core. A gasp echoed the room, as Tessa finally felt all of him which sent a wave of pleasure through her entire body. They paused for a moment, taking in the feeling, both looking at each other with complete love and adoration._

_Scott’s lips pressed a kiss into Tessa’s lips, brushing the hair out of her face before he began slowly moving his hips. Moans filled with pleasure echoed in the room from both Tessa and Scott, but it quickly stopped when they felt the shift and creak from the antique bed. He stopped in his place letting out a sigh, glancing around at the bed, to frown down at Tessa._

_“You know, I think this bed was designed for a teenage girl who needs to remain abstinent,” groaned Scott._

 

_“You act like we share a wall with neighbors like in Montreal,” Tessa giggled, shaking her head at the thought. “Are you really going to let an antique bed stop . . . oh.” A gasp escaped her mouth, as he began moving in and out of her quickly and hard. They tuned out the creaking noises of the bed both becoming close to reaching their climax. The moans grew louder, the thrusts became harder, and the bed began rocking back and forth at an alarming rate._

 

_A rate that soon caused the old wooden bed frame to crack, the nails and screws becoming undone, and the entire bed collapsing on the floor bringing Scott and Tessa alongside with it. Both began laughing hysterically, looking around to see the splintered wood on the ground, a snort escaping Tessa. The mattress laid at a tilted and crooked angle, the duvet covered starting to slowly fall from the side. Scott pulled out of Tessa, surveying the damage, but grinned like a fool when he rolled over._

 

_“I told you we’d break in the bed,” He chuckled. Scott propped his head with one arm, the other tracing across Tessa’s bare stomach. “The bed did its one and only task.”_

_Tessa laughed. “Come here, Moir, you’re not done with me yet.”_

 

* * *

 

“Scott, wake up,” whispered Ella. She managed to sneak into his room without making the door or floorboards creak causing Scott to not stir from his peaceful slumber. It was Tuesday morning, the last week leading up to Christmas break from Ella’s pre-Kindergarten classes and also the week before her Christmas dance recital. She was a ball full of energy since Scott arrived on Saturday, excited for Christmas and the three of them spending time together, with Scott rarely leaving her sight.

 

Scott stirred when he felt Ella’s finger tapping lightly on his face, causing it to twitch. His hazel eyes slowly fluttered open, giving Ella a small smile when his gaze met her green ones. Sir Bunchkins remained securely underneath one of her arms, a smile lighting up her face when she saw Scott wake up.

 

“What time is it kiddo?” He groaned, rolling over to his back and pinching the bridge between his nose. Usually, Scott was more of a morning person, but the past few days he had been enjoying sleeping in and not waking up at an ungodly hour to stand by a cold rink.

 

“Six o’clock. I couldn’t fall asleep again,” Ella admitted.

 

Scott knew that she didn’t need to get up for another hour and a half to get ready for pre-Kindergarten. A routine that he picked up on instantly, considering Tessa would get out of bed at the last minute and scramble around the house to get Ella ready for school. He woke up to Tessa banging around in the kitchen yesterday, trying to find something quick for Ella to eat with a toothbrush dangling from her mouth and Ella’s hairbrush in her hand. Meanwhile, Ella sat on the bar stool attempting to put on her winter boots over her thick socks while whining about her shoes not fitting, and her hair still a mess. Was every morning like this? He didn’t want to draw conclusions from one school morning he witnessed, but it was pretty obvious Ella’s standard breakfast consisted of a half-eaten Poptart, and she would arrive at school minutes before the bell rang.

 

“Come here, kiddo, lay with me,” replied Scott. He shifted in the bed to create an opening for her, lifting the sheets for Ella to join him.

 

Ella wasted no time joining him in the bed, climbing on top of the elevated bed and resting her head on the pillow. She stared at Scott intently filled with curiosity and questions that she wanted to know. But Ella became scared to ask him the questions, scared that if she asked him he would leave and never come back. Ella didn’t quite understand how Scott fit into her mother’s life because he didn’t feel like just a friend to her mother. He felt like more, but Ella couldn’t understand.

 

Scott’s arm found his way around Ella’s body snuggling up against her.  His eyes fluttered shut, and soon enough he found himself drifting back to sleep, with Ella’s steady breathing next to him. She curled up in a ball next to him, clutching onto Sir Bunchkin’s, and fell asleep next to him. Neither aware of how much time passed or how Ella soon found herself nuzzling into Scott’s neck, his chin resting on the top of her head. In many ways, this felt right, and it felt as if Ella finally found her missing piece.

 

Tessa stood in the doorway, staring at Scott and Ella cuddled in the bed. Her entire body melted at the sight she saw, wanting more than anything to climb into bed next to them and forget about school and work today. Tessa clutched at her heart, wrapping her robe closer to her, and smiled to give them a few more minutes. This was a moment that she didn’t want to interrupt, a moment that made her realize how deeply Scott cared for her little girl.

 

As she turned to move away from the doorway, she saw Scott’s head rise from the bed to look down at Ella wrapped in his arms. He blinked slowly at Tessa, a smile across her face still slightly sleepy. “Morning,” mouthed Scott to Tessa, rolling slightly to get a better glimpse of Tessa.

 

“How long has she been here?” Tessa asked softly. She tiptoed into the room, her hands deep in the pockets of the white robe to gaze at her sleeping daughter in a cocoon around Scott’s arms. Ella appeared to be in a deep sleep, tuning out the surrounding atmosphere.

 

“An hour or so,” replied Scott. His hand stroked the hair out of Ella’s face, before glancing back up at Tessa. “I can’t believe how big she has gotten since I last saw her in person.”

 

“I know. You should have seen her when she was a baby, constantly growing out of her clothes. I think she only lasted in her newborn clothes for less than two weeks. Mark always said she would outgrow us by the time she was six at the rate she was growing,” Tessa said, happiness continued to be in her eyes.

 

“I wish I could have met her when she was a baby,” said Scott, “I held every one of my nieces and nephews within a week that they were born. Seeing them new to the world, filled with innocence, and ignorance of the real world. Holding them makes you realize how pure the world can be and it gives you hope.” His gaze fell back to Ella, suddenly blushing at the words that were stumbling out of his mouth.

 

Tessa swallowed. “You were on my list to call about her, but with where we stood . . . I didn’t know how to make that phone call.”

 

Scott’s eyes darted back up to Tessa. “I wish you trusted me enough to tell me, despite the place our relationship was at the time.”

 

“I regret it every day since the moment I saw you two at the funeral,” whispered Tessa, blinking away the emotions that were pooling in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Scott, but I’m happy you have her in your life now.”

 

“I’m happy to have her too,” replied Scott. He sensed the awkwardness in the conversation and glanced at the clock on his nightstand letting out a long sigh. It was time to get Ella ready for school. “Well, T how do you wake up a charming sleeping girl?”

 

Tessa giggled. “You may find this shocking, but it is a pain in the ass.”

 

“Ah, like another Virtue girl I know,” He grinned.

 

Soon enough Scott and Tessa woke up Ella, trying to make it as painless as possible before he carried Ella down the stairs. He whistled when he made eggs and toast, while Tessa braided Ella’s hair and helped her put on their shoes. Scott finished packing Ella’s lunch for Tessa, watching Tessa pack Ella’s various things in her school backpack, including the teacher’s Christmas gift. At one-point Scott leaned back against the counter watching Tessa and Ella chatting, his continuing to be full, and realized how right this felt. It was domestic, and something he never wanted to leave.

 

To Scott, they were family.

 

* * *

 

Scott sat at the dining room table, a mixture of papers, notebooks, and pens scattered around with his laptop in the center. He held onto his coffee mug, hunched over as he kept watching one section of this team’s routine repeatedly. Something was off, to the point where each time they came out of the lift it was shaky. He couldn’t quite figure it out, and he left them for the holidays to promise he would figure it out while he was gone. So far Scott made no progress.

 

“Damn it,” Scott groaned.

 

He paused the video and leaned back in the chair, his head falling back. His fingers tapped on the coffee mug trying to understand what it was in the lift. This was so much easier when he was the one competing with Tessa. Tessa and Scott always knew when something wasn’t working, when the lifting position needed to be altered or when they are necessary to shift their weight. Most of the time they caught it before Marie-France or Patch would comment, but the difference was they were so connected on and off the ice. They were with each other for years and could read each other immediately. It wasn’t something this duo could do, a pair that hadn’t been together for a significant time.

 

Scott heard the front door open, his head adjusting back to normal position and his body twisting to see Tessa stomping the snow off her boots, flurries sticking to her toque and hair. A smile came across her face, as she met Scott’s eyes and his work splattered on his dining room table. “Ah, so you found the best spot to get work done,” She commented, removing her mittens and hat, to reveal her lightly curled hair.

 

“Well, all those years watching you do your schoolwork, and those sponsorship deals must have rubbed off on me.” Scott opened up his arms wide to stretch, letting out a grunt. 

 

Tessa giggled, putting on her slippers and walking over to the dining room table. She leaned over and stared at the computer screen biting her lip when she stared at the skaters. “This is Kristy and David, right? The junior team?”

 

“Yep,” sighed Scott, “there is something off in their rotational lift here. I can’t figure it out. Guess I will sleep on it again and come back to it. I have senior teams I am assisting for Marie and Patch where I need to provide input and—” He was quickly cut off by Tessa dragging one of the dining room chairs to sit firmly next to him, their shoulders grazing.

 

“Play it,” said Tessa determination in her voice. He gave her a look, curiosity evident in his expression, while a small amount of aggravation became evident in her voice. “I said play it, Scott. I want to help you.”

 

He chuckled before rewinding it to the spot needed in the video. “Alright, Virtch. It is a rotational lift, with a slight modification for the one we did in Sympathy for the Devil. Not sure if you remember it, but here it is.”

 

Tessa nudged him in the arm. “You really think I would forget it? Of course not, I still remember parts of each routine we did. Some things you can’t forget, no matter what. Did you know I still can’t listen to Moulin Rouge without thinking about that routine? Of all the times we practiced and performed it. It kind of leaves an everlasting mark, you know?”

 

“Yeah it truly does,” Scott admitted, taking a sip of his coffee. His hand hovered over the computer to press start, gazing at Tessa. “I mean, I still show up at Gadbois and do the warmup we always did. I’m alone, of course, but it is this habit . . . “

 

“This habit you can’t shake, I know,” finished Tessa. She cleared her throat, straightening up her posture slightly. “When I take Ella to one of the rinks in town for her to practice, I begin doing my normal stretches and warmup routine. Mom always complains about how I’m leaving Ella behind in the dust, but I can’t help it. I spent over twenty years doing a routine, a routine that came back to me as soon as I touched the ice again.”

 

Scott smiled at her. “Reestablishing a routine is hard, to be honest. You don’t know how long it took me to get into a routine once I started permanently coaching at Gadbois, especially since I went from being part of a team to a coach.”

 

Tessa placed her hand on his leg. “You were born to coach, Scott. You have this way to interact with people that gives them the comfort and drive to try harder. Something I could never do.”

 

He rolled his eyes. “You’re utterly ridiculous. You act like I’m the God of coaching or something.”

 

“Hey, I’m serious Scott. How many workshops did we do together, and you took the lead? I was there for moral support . . . Stop making that face at me.” She smacked him in the arm, causing him to exaggerate the force of the punch. “You know that you are the better coach.”

 

“Then how come I can’t figure out this lift?” He said, gesturing towards the paused. “You’re the brilliant one and I’m sure you can figure it out after watching it several times. I have spent weeks trying to figure it out and honestly I feel like an idiot.”

 

Tessa giggled, a mischievous grin coming across her face. “Well, you’re only sometimes an idiot.”

 

“Ha, very funny,” droned Scott.

 

He played the video several times, slowing down parts of it for Tessa to examine. She leaned forward, her eyes narrowed at the screen tapping her fingers on the table. Scott stared at her watching the video, smirking at her annoyance of not seeing the problem right away. Tessa appeared to be as stumped as him.

 

After nearly fifteen minutes passed at staring at that one lift, she leaned back in her chair letting out a frustrated sigh. “Have you done a side by side comparison with us doing that lift? Maybe we can compare and see what is going on.”

 

“Tried it and failed,” stated Scott, “besides their heights are different from us. Kristy is only five feet and David is five foot eight, making the entrance and exit of the lift slightly different. I think the problem is something from the entrance.”

 

Tessa combed both hands through her hair, sorting out looser tangles. They both sat in silence puzzled at the video, both feeling ridiculous and partially stupid that they couldn’t figure out what went wrong. It was obvious that they were struggling getting up and having a smooth transition in the lift and it must be a minor issue, but it was hard to track it down to what it exactly was.

 

At one point, Tessa started laughing shaking her head, before leaving the room to change into a pair of athletic clothes. When she came back a new set of determination was set in her eyes, as she bit her lip and looked at him carefully. Frustration became evident in Scott’s face, as he continued writing things down on the notepad and scratching it out for a different team he coached. One pen was tucked behind his left ear, while the other began clicking in and out of place, while his leg bounced up and down on the floor.

 

“Coaching isn’t exactly glorious, T. Just saying,” He said when he noticed her reemerge into the room.

 

She didn’t reply to his comment, her mind becoming cloudy at various thoughts going through her head. “Ella is at school for several more hours, I finished what I needed to do for work before the holidays, so I was thinking we could do something together.”

 

Scott’s hazel eyes met her green ones. “Skate with me,” He said abruptly, the words coming out of his mouth before he could fully process his desire. “Unless that isn’t what you had in mind, maybe you were just thinking Starbucks or Tim’s and uh—” His already cloudy mind continued to become fuzzier.

 

“Exactly what I had in mind.”

 

* * *

 

Tessa stood in the parking lot outside of the Ilderton skating rink, staring at the sign that they proudly hung when they won their first Olympics. She hadn’t stepped foot in this rink for ages, always opting to take Ella to a closer rink in London. It was the middle of the afternoon and the rink wouldn’t be open for several more hours, with Scott insisting that it would be okay to go skate when it was empty because he had a key.

 

“Oh, Ma won’t care. I think she would be happy for us to use it anyways,” He had told her, when he drove her car through the familiar roads to Ilderton.

 

Ilderton. A place she hadn’t been for so long.

 

 Tessa’s heart pounded in anticipation, as Scott whistled and unlocked the side door to the rink. A few stray flurries in the cloudy, winter afternoon coated the top of her wool mittens, as she clutched onto her skating bag. The very same skating bag she dug out of the depths of her storage closet in the basement. A bag that contained everything in it from their last performance together, that lasted through years of back and forth between Gadbois. A bag that she hesitated to use for months of skating with Ella. A bag reserved for Scott.

 

The sound of the door creaking open echoed through the deserted parking lot creating a slightly shifty atmosphere. Scott grinned and pointed at the open-door beckoning for Tessa to follow him into the darkened building. Taking a deep breath, her boots began crunching in the snow, and soon enough she grabbed ahold of Scott’s hand and was led into the skating rink. The skating rink where it all began.

 

They sat on the bench both lacing up their skates, wordlessly staring out at the ice. It felt strange being back, mainly since the last time they touched this ice together everything was different between them. They were happy, both felt like they would get married and have children together. It was the day that filled both of them with desires about being together, the place Scott planned the perfect proposal to Tessa, and one of the last places they were happy together.

 

Scott finished tying up his skates first, his hand finding the small of Tessa’s back, as she finished up her right skate. “You think we still got it?”

 

Tessa smirked straightening up making the first move to stand up. “The question is, do you still got it?” She extended her hands to him, helping him up, before quickly letting go and heading towards the boards. Tessa wasted no time in taking off her skate guards to glide onto the ice, stretching out with every stride she took.

 

Scott remained speechless at her determination to get on the ice but smiled at seeing this old Tessa come out. It had been too long since he saw the confident and determined Tessa who wanted to prove herself to everyone and everything. She still possessed that fiery personality, making Scott’s heart clench even tighter with happiness.

 

“Are you going to leave me alone on the ice?” She joked.

 

He took off his skate guards, quickly speeding towards her on the ice. She giggled at his speed, her hands possessively coming up in front of her to shield herself from his attack. Scott’s arms wrapped around her waist pulling her up and spinning her around in a few circles, before gently placing her back on the ice smoothly. “Finally, my skating partner is back,” whispered Scott in Tessa’s ear.

 

They were in their own world again, and it felt perfect.

 

Scott and Tessa started out doing simple movements on the ice, following their old warmup routine together. It was a bit out of sync at first but soon found themselves rediscovering their old rhythm. At one point they became more daring with their lines during simple crossover moves, with Tessa nearly tumbling over at one point. Yet Scott’s grip remained tight on her giving her that familiar sense of security, and she knew she would never fall.

 

“So that rotational lift, I have been thinking about it,” stated Tessa when they paused in the center of the ice to catch their breaths. “I think there is something off about the hand placement that is causing the transitions in the lift to not run as smoothly.”

 

Scott stared at her processing what she was staying, but slightly distracted from the pink flush of her cheeks and the way her eyes seemed to be even greener under the bright rink lights. Yet, his mind finally was able to focus on what she was saying as he visualized the problem he saw with the ice dancers. “Hand placement . . . shit, I think you’re right.”

 

Tessa nodded excitedly. “See his hands are positioned slightly too high on her waist, making it hard for them to get into the first position in the air. If he lowered his hands,” She demonstrated the position on her own waist with her hands, “then it would allow for a better flow of the movement.”

 

“Want to test your theory?”

 

She froze in her place, the pink on her cheeks growing darker. “I, uh, Scott it has been how long? Could you even lift me? My body is different than it was years ago, I mean I have had a child and don’t have the same muscles and I weigh more.” The uncertainty was high in her voice, as she swallowed the doubt she had about pulling this off. Yet, it didn’t appear to phase Scott.

 

He shrugged, digging his hands in his skate pockets. “Do you think I would ever suggest something I knew we couldn’t do?” Scott moved closer to Tessa, their faces nearly inches apart.

 

“Scott, I don’t know,” admitted Tessa.

 

Scott’s hand moved to lightly comb through her soft curls hanging from her ponytail. “If you feel like you can’t do it, then use the safe word. Remember what it is?”

 

“Of course, I do,” replied Tessa.

 

“The decision is up to you and I’m fine with either. If you’re uncomfortable—”

 

Tessa cut him off quickly her mind making the decisioin, “Let’s try it, Scott, I trust you.”

 

They began skating away from center ice picking up the momentum they needed for the rotational lift, the same lift they did at the end of Sympathy for the Devil all those years ago. Tessa tightened her core muscles anticipating the strength needed to get up in the air and hoping that a disastrous accident wouldn’t happen. Her fears were illogical, and she recognized it while knowing that Scott would never push something on her that he knew she wasn’t capable of. She trusted him, she knew him.

 

He held onto her hand tightly as they rounded the corner giving her a look. “I got you,” said Scott, his hands finding her waist.

 

“Ready,” breathed Tessa.

 

Scott tightened his grip around her waist effortlessly picking her up in the air, spinning her once to hoist her up further. She tightened her core and leg muscles feeling the power behind each moment of the lift. That’s when Tessa felt the spinning and felt her body fall back into the same routine as she felt her leg wrap around his shoulder region. And during this moment, she felt transported back in time. At the time where they were two kids dreaming of being in the Olympics, to the feeling, they felt after they finished their best performance of their short dance.

 

As he effortlessly moved her back to the ground, she glided backward, holding onto his hand. Their gaze staring into each other intently, both out of breath from the lift. The feeling of being together in the way where everything began between them. As they slowed down their skate to find center ice again, both were smiling and laughing. Tears brimmed Tessa’s eyes, remembering the joy she felt after a successful lift.

 

“Did we just do that?” said Scott, his bolstering laugh echoing through the arena. “God, Tess that was incredible. You’re incredible. We figured out the ” He ran up to her and hugged her tightly, feeling her laughing cry echo through him the sound that made him smile even harder.

 

It suddenly came back to her how closely their faces were to each other, as they pulled away from the hug. They intently stared at each other, tension coating every corner of the rink. Neither made a move to close the gap or open the gap between them, their warm breaths tingling each other’s faces. That was when guilt rose in her and when Tessa panicked, to pull back before her innate desire to close the gap between them took over.

 

Mark.

 

Tears welled in her eyes, suddenly feeling guilty about escaping her reality momentarily. The guilt about Mark and not knowing if she could genuinely devote herself to someone else. Yet, Tessa wanted to kiss Scott, and, in many ways, she wanted Scott all over again. To never leave her life again but didn’t know how he felt and if she had the ability to move on from Mark. Seven months wasn’t long enough.

 

She skated away from Scott telling him they should probably get ready to pick up Ella from school, trying to push behind the moment that happened to her again. The same sensation she felt when she danced with Scott. The sensation of them being lost in their own little world and that they were back to being young and in love. That wasn’t reality.

 

That is the sad thing about waking up from a dream and returning to reality. You suddenly realize that timing doesn’t work when people want it to. That people need to adapt to their feelings and inner desires before it is right to act on it. That unnecessary guilt could triumph over yearning, and that feelings were hard to discuss. Feelings from the past or the present, especially with unresolved closure between them.

 

Patience is a virtue.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! 
> 
> So I'm sure many of you were confused when either 1) you read the chapter and then suddenly it vanished or 2) you went to read it and you couldn't access it. Well let me explain or try my best to explain.
> 
> First of all, as a writer I take constructive criticism wholeheartedly and tend to reevaluate. Sometimes I write things and they aren't perceived in the best light to readers, while me and my beta interpret it otherwise, or aren't written the greatest (hey, we all aren't perfect!). After posting the chapter and learning about something in the end that can be seen as a negative I decided to pull it and ultimately revamp it after some deep reevaluation (while still remaining true to the chapter's intent). The original ending could also be perceived as cliché which never has been my intent as a writer.
> 
> On a happier note! Holy smokes, I reached my secret goal of 300 kudos and we are only 1/3 of the way through. Thank you for the continued support and lovely comments that always brighten my day and give me inspiration to continue pushing myself and this story along. This really is a wonderful outlet for me, but to give myself an ease of mind with how much words I have been punching out lately, I am taking a 1-2 week break from writing this story. Although I may be working on another special oneshot, so stay tuned.
> 
>  
> 
> That being said, if anyone is curious as to what I changed I am giving you the option of emailing me for the original version that I will gladly send (scottland.havemyheart@gmail.com).
> 
> Comment, kudos, or email away! 
> 
> P.S. I enjoy lurking on public comments made on Twitter. That being said, I wish to remain anonymous on there.


	11. The Same Pattern

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tension from their recent skate carries over the next day, making Tessa realize some things.

 “Have you thought about taking Ella to skate in Ilderton?” asked Scott the next morning. “There are a lot of family nights with half-priced tickets and people come from all over the surrounding area, with several kids Ella’s age. It could be fun for her.”

 

They were both sitting next to each other at the counter having a late breakfast after Tessa dropped Ella off at school. The tension that had been on the ice seemed to continue, with neither knowing what to say to each other unless Ella was involved. Yet something continued to cloud his thoughts; a moment that occurred a mere twelve hours ago. A moment Scott remembered every detail about. The way Tessa looked at him, her eyes filled with an internal war on what to do in that moment of unexpected closeness, and the way her body contradicted what she was feeling inside. Scott knew something was troubling her, but it was hard for him to understand what demon she attempted to fight off leaving him even more confused. What exactly had happened between them on the ice?

 

He swallowed at the memory of last night, the feeling of being left at center ice as she panicked and skated away. Every inch of him wanting to hold her, tell her it would be alright, but he knew the panic may be due to him. Maybe Scott inadvertently placed her in a somewhat compromising position, as he pulled her close on the ice after a successful lift. Possibly his stowed feelings in his deep subconscious were slowly causing actions on his part. Or maybe, in a twisted way, this moment was meant to happen. A moment to signify how different their thoughts indeed were at this time and that Tessa may never feel the same way.

 

It was a risk; a risk Scott was willing to take.

 

“I haven’t,” replied Tessa, a sense of discomfort in her tone. She slowly balanced the milk and cereal on her spoon, slurping it into her mouth. Gently dabbing at her upper lip with the napkin, Tessa cleared her throat and glanced over at Scott. “I—I don’t know if I want to go back again. Too much has changed the past five years, I feel off, it didn’t feel right.”

 

He stood up with his empty bowl of cereal to bring it over to the farmhouse style sink and to rinse out his dishes. “It didn’t appear that way to me yesterday,” shrugged Scott. A part of him regretted the words coming out of his mouth, but he knew he needed to test the waters in an attempt to see what was going through Tessa’s mind. To see if it had anything to do with him and his foolish subconscious thoughts slowly being acted on.

 

She halted her train of thought, letting the spoon clink against the bowl, as her arms folded in front of her. Tessa chewed her lip blinking away any tears that were forming, the guilt sitting within her still. The guilt of wanting more with Scott despite Mark’s departure from their lives seven months ago. “Scott,” cautioned Tessa, her tone on the brink of tears.

 

“I’m sorry I brought it up,” Scott stated, hiding the hurt from his voice. He looked down at the sink cleaning up various other items and loading them in the dishwasher.

 

Tessa sighed, wrinkling her nose. “It isn’t your fault.”

 

“Then why does it feel that way?” demanded Scott trying to be as soft as possible. He shut off the sink and met her eyes once more, his hands resting on the edge of the countertop.

 

The air became tense again causing both to freeze and stare at each other intently. Neither knew what to say to each other again, their sudden ease of conversation the past several months becoming an abrupt halt. There were the topics both needed to discuss in a fuller extent, choosing to avoid talking about the elephant in the room: the loss of their friendship and relationship. A topic that would soon become inevitable to discuss, but certainly could be delayed.

 

Tessa’s change in body language, her tense jaw suddenly loosening, and her shoulders began to slump at the idea of him being gone. “Last night, Tess . . . if I made you feel uncomfortable in any way or pushed something—"

 

Tessa straightened up her slouch, shaking her head. “No, you didn’t. Don’t worry about it or me, Scott.”

 

Scott sighed, his hand running through his brown locks. “T, you know I will always worry about you--” He started and quickly stopped. He knew it wouldn’t be right to push the situation farther than necessary.

 

Tessa nodded her head, standing up from her place at the counter, placing the bowl in the sink. “Scott, just drop it. You don’t have to worry about me. Have fun with your family today. Be quiet when you get back, I don’t want Ella to wake up.” She was out of the room and headed up the stairs to get ready for her commute into Toronto before he had a chance to respond.

 

Letting out a sigh and cleaning Tessa’s dish, he hung up the dish rag and leaned against the counter. Collecting his thoughts, Scott knew that he needed to give himself and Tessa some space. The years of therapy taught him the signs of when both needed to take a step back from one another before one would implode. He grabbed the rental car keys, his computer bag, wallet, and phone and soon found himself silently leaving Tessa’s home. The cold December wind barely phased him, as he left hardly bundled up and sat in his cold car. His breath began fogging up the inside of the vehicle, as he waited for it to warm up.

 

Damn this current life of his.

 

He wished things were entirely different for him sometimes; that the ring he customized for Tessa would be on her finger, that this was still the house he lived in, that he got to be there for every step of her pregnancy, or that he never ran to Montréal when Tessa wanted him in her life. In many ways, he was a coward that night at the bar. Scott took out his own misery on the girl who supported him unconditionally for over twenty years. He remembered the gutted expression on Tessa’s face, his lack of saying goodbye before he quickly moved away, and both of them giving up repairing their friendship.

 

Both of them actively choosing to move on from each other.

Scott pressed his face against the base of the steering wheel, that was beginning to warm up. “Why did I leave her without saying goodbye?” He whispered, letting a tear trickle down his face. “Fucking Montréal.”

 

* * *

 

_Tessa sat on the couch, with the blank television in front of her, a book in her lap and her hand clutching at her phone. She couldn’t focus on anything, she couldn’t understand what happened several nights ago with Scott at the bar. Having a fight was normal but going days with little to no resolution was unusual. Neither bothered to contact each other, with Tessa under the ill illusion that her phone would be ringing any minute with Scott calling to come over._

_It never did._

_Sighing she picked up her pregnancy book, trying to learn as much as possible. She wanted this pregnancy to be as smooth as possible, knowing that she needed to take good care of her baby and herself. Adequate nutrition and a consistent workout regime were comfortable enough, but it was the mental aspect that Tessa knew she needed to learn. It wasn’t like preparing for a competition or hurdles during practice, it was preparing for a lifelong commitment to your own creation. A creation that would put you through constant tests of times, but you would continue to love unconditionally._

_Although as soon as her thoughts about Scott left her mind, Tessa found herself interrupted by Mark’s characteristic whistle as he came home from work. Mark was a lawyer that worked out of Woodstock, committed to the commute to and from London, but never complained about the unruly commute during rush hour. It continued to amaze Tessa at his eased nature and lack of frustration when he walked through the doors. She always questioned how he did it, in which he would always respond, “I leave all of my frustrations behind in the car and continue my day.”_

_“Oh, there you are all bundled up. How was your day?” called Mark, dropping his keys in the drop-all basket and placing his jacket on the back of the bar stool. He kicked off his shoes and walked over to Tessa on the couch, her fingers dancing around on the unread page of her book. As soon as Mark wrapped an arm around her, his face fell seeing the obvious discomfort. “Tess, what’s wrong?”_

_Tessa blinked and wiped at her eyes, trying to prevent tears from falling. “Nothing, pregnancy hormones I suppose.”_

_Her hand touched the small bump forming on her stomach, gazing over at Mark and smiling at him. His hand soon founds its place on her stomach, giving it a gentle rub. “Four months already, time truly does pass quickly,” grinned Mark. He leaned down and placed a light kiss over Tessa’s belly before gazing over at her. “Are you sure you are alright? How about I make you some hot chocolate? I’m sure that is what you and the baby both want.”_

_Tessa let out a small laugh, wiping at her eyes. “What if our baby doesn’t like chocolate, Mark? Or is allergic?”_

_Mark laughed, shaking his head and standing up. “Considering you have craved chocolate since your first trimester, I doubt that is the case.” He walked towards the kitchen to immediately begin warming the milk and grabbing the hot chocolate mix out of the cupboard. “That child is going to be a chocolate monster like you.”_

_Tessa stood up, folding up the blanket that had been wrapped around her lower half and strolled into the kitchen. Her bump appeared to start popping overnight, with Tessa relieved that she was past the bloated appearance stage. It was beautiful growing a life inside of her, enjoying every minute of pregnancy—even not minding the horrible morning sickness. It wasn’t until the hot chocolate was ready and both husband and wife were sitting in the kitchen sipping slowly, that the sad reality hit her again. Scott._

_“Did you want to talk about it?” asked Mark._

_Tessa nodded her head slowly, taking another sip of the warm liquid. “Scott’s gone, Mark. He moved to Montréal within days. He didn’t even say goodbye. I thought he would be around for this pregnancy, be a part of our lives like he was adamant about being.”_

_Mark’s face fell, inching his stool closer to Tessa’s. “Oh, Tess, I know how much he means to you.” His arm wrapped around her shoulders, giving her as much comfort as possible. “He might need some space, with whatever he is going through. He will reach out soon, I promise.”_

_“It’s been days, Mark,” Tessa stated gravely. “The way he looked at the bar . . . It was the Scott I hadn’t seen since Sochi. The Scott that would mask the pain with alcohol, that dismissed concerns about his overall health from the people he loved.” A few tears fell from her face, landing in her hot chocolate._

_“Come here, honey, come here.” He coaxed Tessa off the stool into his lap, letting her wrap her arms around his neck and nuzzle her face into his shirt. “This is only temporary, soon enough he will be back in your life. Think how excited he will be when we ask him to be the godfather of our child.”_

_Tessa sniveled and nodded her head. “I certainly hope so.”_

 

* * *

 

Before Scott arrived for the holidays, Tessa and Ella established a new night routine for school. Usually, it would involve a bath, a bedtime snack, and watching an episode of Arthur before Tessa would help Ella brush her teeth and read her a story. It was a simple routine, but one that felt effortless and seamless, one that would hopefully last for a few more years. Yet, ever since Scott arrived, Ella began incorporating him into the night routine. Craving the cuddles next to him on the couch and wanting to hear his compelling voice read her a bedtime story, with Tessa agreeing on every step of the way. She didn’t see the harm in it at the time, but as she struggled to put Ella down for the night, she saw the flaw.

 

“Ella, come on we need to pick out a new pair of pajamas. Do you want the ones covered with sheep or bunnies?” said Tessa, both laid on the bed. She tried to keep her voice steady, showing no signs of annoyance, at Ella’s constant misbehavior since the minute she walked in the door after to school and the constant complaints about the boring food.

 

Ella stood across the room, her arms against her chest glaring at Tessa. Her little bathrobe wrapped around her chest, with her wet hair slowly dripping on the floor. “No, I don’t want to go to bed.” The defiance was evident in her movements, as she stomped on the ground.

 

Tessa sighed and scrunched her nose, trying to remain calm. “You need to go to sleep. You have a few more days left of school before break, and they will be fun ones. You don’t want to be tired now, do you?” Tessa attempted to reason, but already knew she was failing miserably.

 

“I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to go to bed,” argued Ella. She ran over to her bed and threw the pajamas on the ground then started jumping on top of them, much to Tessa’s dismay. “Stupid, stupid, stupid!” Tessa’s daughter huffed every time her feet landed on her pajamas.

 

Frowning, Tessa moved over to Ella and swept her off the ground and trying to control the squirming. “Angela, you will get into your pajamas now and go to sleep,” firmly said Tessa, the anger seeping into her tone.

 

That’s when the tantrum started, the screams mixed with sobs echoing throughout the entire house. The flailing arm and leg movements, as Ella tried to escape Tessa’s grasp around her. “No! I don’t want to!” Ella shouted, the redness becoming increasingly prominent on her face. “You can’t make me do anything!”

 

As Ella wailed out the last part, Tessa heard the front door open and close indicating that Scott returned home from his day with his family. Oh great, what a perfect opportunity for him to come back. The wails continued to escape Ella’s mouth, as Tessa placed Ella on the ground and grabbed one of the two pajama options knowing that this would be a constant struggle. Except, Ella continued to back away from the pajamas and sat on the rug next to her dresser sobbing hysterically. Tessa’s eyes fluttered shut, as she sat on the edge of Ella’s bed rubbing both sides of her temple.

 

“Tess? Do you need anything?” called Scott, his footsteps already making his way up the stairs and appearing before Tessa knew the words to respond. He frowned at the scene, seeing that Ella was picking up her toys around her and throwing them across the room, with Scott dodging one of the Barbie dolls. He frowned, glancing at Tessa who was trying her best to subside her anger, then turned his attention towards Ella. “Kiddo, what happened?”

 

Ella’s eyes lit up when she saw Scott, scrambling to her feet and running towards his legs. Her arms wrapped around his, as she let tears and snivels escape her mouth. “I don’t want to go to bed.”

 

“If you go to sleep then the sooner you get to see your friends,” calmly suggested Scott. “Come on, let’s get you into the pajamas your mommy picked out for you. Do the bunny ones sound good? It will match Sir Bunchkins.” He calmly looked over at Tessa, who outreached her arm and sighed heavily.

 

Scott helped Ella into her pajamas, then momentarily disappeared to grabbed Ella’s brush from the bathroom. He looked at Ella who stood in her place, pouting and kicking her feet, before sighing and handing the brush towards Tessa who remained on the bed looking slightly defeated. “I’ll be in my room if you need me,” whispered Scott, so only Tessa could hear. She gave him a nod, her eyes thanking him before he slipped out of the room much to Ella’s disappointment.

 

The four-year-old huffed in place, stomping her feet lightly, wiping at her runny nose and muttering incoherent words under her breathe.

 

“Ella, come here let me brush your hair,” instructed Tessa, attempting to find a new sense of calm. Luckily Ella wandered over to the edge of the bed, her arms remaining in front of her chest, as she stood still and let Tessa brush through her knotted head. “You do not behave like that before bedtime, do you understand? That is not nice behavior to Mommy.”

 

“Yes, Mommy,” said Ella bitterly, rolling her eyes and letting out an exasperated huff.

 

Tessa bit her lip to maintain her sense of calm. “Would Daddy want you to behave this way? What do you think he would say about this?” It was the line Tessa used through each tantrum over the years, primarily when Mark was away on business trips. The question that would always put Ella back in place, due to Ella’s fear of making Mark unhappy. She finished brushing through Ella’s hair, tucking the hair dangling in her daughter’s face behind her ears.

 

Ella turned around the continued pout still evident on her face. “Daddy isn’t here anymore, and he won’t be coming back. So why don’t you ask Scott what he thinks?” stated Ella, her eyes glaring at Tessa. “I wanted him to put me to bed, not you.”

 

That was when every unconscious thought about Scott and Ella’s connection hit Tessa all at once. It was wrong that she let this escalate so far, to the point where Ella preferred Scott over her. That Ella brushed off Mark’s absence to favor Scott, that she called Scott all the time to talk to him. The connection was growing alarmingly quickly to the point where Tessa felt like she lost control of her daughter and that her daughter was inadvertently replacing Mark with Scott.

 

And Tessa knew it was all her fault. She let it go on, she didn’t set any boundaries between the two of them. Was it her desire to see Ella happy at all times? Was it her denial of losing the father figure? No matter how Tessa looked at the situation, she knew that it needed to be addressed; sooner rather than later.

 

* * *

 

_“It’s going to be weird,” stated Tessa, pacing around the hotel room in Montréal. Her fingers rested on her temple, her other hand on her hip. Montréal was hosting a skating competition, in which Tessa and Scott had been asked to do commentary for the CBC. Initially, she was hesitant to do this, considering she hadn’t talked or seen Scott since the night at the bar. Since then she had Ella, she would need to manage finding time to breastfeed her during the competition day and was slightly discouraged by her post-baby appearance._

_Mark sat on the bed cradling Ella in his arms, slowly rocking her back and forth. “Tess, honey, you will be okay. Act like nothing happened between you two, and I’m sure no one will notice.”_

_“He doesn’t even know about Ella, Mark. We never told him, we kept this private. How am I going to escape during breaks to feed her? What if he follows me?”_

_“What is the big deal about him knowing, Tess? He was in your life more than he hasn’t been. I don’t think he will be anything but happy for you.” Mark adjusted Ella in his arms to lightly pat her back to help her burp._

_Tessa chewed on her bottom lip, shaking her head and walking towards the bathroom to look at her hair and makeup one last time. Tugging on her jacket and turning to face sideways, she sighed at the lack of toned stomach. She knew it wasn’t that bad, she didn’t regret having stretch marks leftover from having Ella, but she was worried. Worried for ridiculous reasons, worried about what was being said online that set off her anxiety._

_“Why don’t I used the milk stores and stay in the hotel and feed her here?” suggested Mark. He stood in the doorway of the bathroom bouncing Ella up and down, her giggles filling the small room. “Then you don’t need to worry about it.”_

_“Mark, it doesn’t work that way. My boobs can only hold so much until they explode. Not to mention the sound of any crying baby there—” Tessa paused laughing and shaking her head. Never in her dreams did she imagine this scenario happening. Her face suddenly became serious. “Scott doesn’t deserve to know, Mark. Not after what he said to me, not after ignoring my calls and texts for months after. She’s precious to me, Mark, precious, and I don’t think he needs to know about my personal life from here on out.”_

_Mark silently disagreed with her, rubbing Ella’s back. “You know him better than me, Tess, but I hope you know what you are doing,” cautioned Mark._

_“I do,” whispered Tessa, “now can I get some snuggle time with Ella before I have to leave?”_

_“Of course,” He said, carefully securing Ella in Tessa’s arms. “You look beautiful by the way, just as beautiful as the day that I met you. Don’t be ashamed of your appearance.” He kissed her on the cheek, before giving her some alone time with Ella._

* * *

 

 Tessa gently closed the door to Ella’s room, finally getting her settled and into bed. She tossed her hair up into a top knot, as she walked down the steps sighing a breath of relief that the exhaustion from Ella’s tantrum caused her to sleep right away. The only thing Tessa wanted to do was pour herself a glass of red wine, draw a bath, immerse herself into relaxation, and let her anxious thoughts drift away. Except she knew it wouldn’t happen.

 

Tessa knew that what was going on between Scott and Ella had to stop. Ella’s defiance towards Tessa and her preference for Scott made it clear to Tessa. She couldn’t do this anymore, she couldn’t let Scott continue seeping into their life. “Scott, we need to talk,” She announced, as soon as her foot hit the last step on the stairs. “I can’t do this, not anymore.”

 

She found Scott in the kitchen talking on the phone, smiling and laughing, while he poured himself a glass of water. He had changed into a pair of sweats and an old shirt from the “Thank You Canada Tour” while combing through his hair freely with his hand. He looked at peace, at ease, but as soon as his eyes met Tessa’s face as the words came from her mouth, he froze.

 

“Patch, can I call you back tomorrow? Yeah, tell Billie-Rose that she can give Rufus as many treats as he wants for Christmas. Send everyone my love, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” He hung up his phone and gently placed it on the counter, getting a better look at Tessa and recognizing the mix of anger and tension in her. “What’s wrong Tess? Did you finally get Ella settled down?”

 

The one innocent question that came from Scott’s mouth that immediately set Tessa off. The rage, the sadness, and the hurt about to be brought up made Tessa’s heart race. Yet, she knew it was time to do this, that she couldn’t hide this issue before it got worse. “I said I can’t do this anymore. You, me, and Ella.”

 

He blinked. “Do what?”

 

“She puts you before me, she talks to you about things that she doesn’t ever mention to me. I’m her mother, Scott, I’m the one that should be doing these things. Not you, at least not to the point where she prefers you over me.” The emotions were creeping out of the hidden crevices in Tessa’s mind, her true feelings finally being expressed.

 

“Tess, she thinks the world of you. I can talk to her tomorrow, maybe—” Scott paused when he saw Tessa’s hand raising at him to stop talking.

 

Her entire body shook, as she walked further into the kitchen and stared at him. “We need boundaries, Scott. Boundaries that should have been established a long time ago about how close you can get with my daughter.”

 

Scott’s entire heart sunk. “I don’t mean to overstep boundaries. You said it was okay every time I asked, you can’t take it back,” His words trembled out of his mouth suddenly getting nervous at the anticipated response.

 

“But you aren’t Mark, Scott! You aren’t Ella’s father, and you will never be what Mark was to her,” shouted Tessa, not caring for a split second if Ella were to wake up. The sudden yell seemed to light a fuse that was unstoppable, her fists and jaw both clenching as she looked at Scott’s stone face. 

 

He stood there silently, his eyes drifting towards the floor. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He tried to remain calm, knowing it would do no good if both began yelling.

 

“Well, I don’t know what is going through your head!” admitted Tessa, her arms flailing in the air. “I know you have wanted to be a father for years, I know you have this natural way of connecting with kids, but not Ella. Don’t do that to her, Scott.”

 

“Don’t you dare fucking bring up me not being a father,” snapped Scott.

 

“I think you’re using Ella, trying to father her. Dropping everything you’re doing to answer a Facetime call the past few months, making her think that you’re somehow going to be around forever. She doesn’t understand that one day you’re going to walk out of our lives again to start a new one. She doesn’t understand that you won’t be in her life permanently.”

 

He snatched his phone and stowed it in his pocket, walking around from the counter to stare at Tessa. “You’re jumping to conclusions, Tess. Conclusions that make no fucking sense. Who says I’m going to leave your lives again?”

 

“Because it is the same fucking pattern!” yelled Tessa.

 

“What pattern? I won’t leave Ella, Tess. I care about her and would never do anything to hurt her just as much as how I care about you.”

 

“Then why the fuck did you leave me at the bar and abandoned me for Montréal when I was pregnant? Pregnant Scott, with Ella. Then what did you do? You left me, Scott. You ignored me when I was going through one of the happiest moments of my life. A moment Mark and I wanted to share with you.” Tessa screamed back at him, finally able to get what she held back after all of these years.

 

Tessa didn’t dare look at Scott, knowing the fallen and confused expression on his face when she yelled at him. She turned her back and placed her hands on her hips, letting out a long sigh. The years of therapy taught them to never jump to conclusions about each other without explanations, to never blame each other without evidence, and to never keep feelings hidden from each other. Emotions that could damage the partnership more than actually build one because they could fall in the same pattern of lack of communication. Lessons from therapy that apparently did not hold true.

 

After minutes passed in silence, Tessa turned around, clearing her throat and calmly finding Scott’s hazel eyes. “Tess, I didn’t—” His discontent was extremely evident, his body shaking at what she admitted moments ago.

 

She was quick to cut him off. “Ella deserves someone in her life that will always be there, and I don’t believe it is you. So, I can’t do this anymore, Scott. I thought I could, but I can’t.” Tessa’s hands ran through her slicked back hair, pushing up fly-aways that would only fall back down. She paced in front of the island, while Scott remained grounded in his place.

 

 “So, you’re saying you doing need me anymore?”

 

“Scott—” said Tessa avoiding the question.

 

It was Scott’s turn to raise his voice. “I said, do you still need me?”

 

She bit her lip and shook her head. “No, we don’t need you anymore.”

 

“Then I’ll leave,” replied Scott.

 

Tessa didn’t have a chance to respond before he brushed past her and walked upstairs. Yet, she didn't dare to go after him. Tessa remained in the kitchen, staring at the unused water glass of his, her mind jumbled with thoughts and tuning out the surrounding noises. It was hard to wrap her head around what just happened and even harder, when she heard Scott come back downstairs with his suitcase and duffle bag, his eyes apologetically looking at her through the entrance way.

 

“There are presents for you and Ella on the bed, it’s up to you if you tell her who it is from,” stated Scott. The way he swallowed after he stated that, his jaw clenching, and his eyes blinking rapidly to suppress the inevitable emotion about the entire situation. “Before you say anything, I won’t talk to her.”

 

“I didn’t mean for it to—” Tessa paused, biting her lip.

 

“Yes, you did,” replied Scott, “I shouldn’t have agreed to stay here.”

 

With one sweeping motion, he put on his coat and boots, before leaving Tessa’s home. He closed the door gently, leaving the house filled with emotion and confusion. Scott attempted to keep himself together, as he quickly placed his suitcase in the trunk and slide into the driver’s seat to head straight to his childhood home. Yet, he couldn’t help, but pull over to the side of the road halfway between Tessa’s house and Ilderton to cry feeling the déjà vu from this morning.

 

Life indeed was an unexpected journey.

 

* * *

 

_Tessa walked through the back entrance to the skating rink, nerves racing through her stomach, not caring that she arrived an hour earlier than called. Mark followed along in the back door, both deciding that Mark can be close for Tessa to feed Ella but would keep his distance from Scott. If there were a possibility Scott would see Ella, then Tessa would tell him then. Although she felt the likelihood ran low, due to Scott also having to help Marie-France and Patch out with coaching duties. There was no way to tell._

_“Where do you have to go? It looks like a mess back here,” noted Mark. He looked down at Ella, who was strapped firmly against his chest peacefully snoozing. “Is it usually like this?”_

_Tessa sighed, trying to find Alexis who was in charge of the commentating. “Yes, you should see the chaos back in the warm-up room,” laughed Tessa. Her eyes scanned the people scurrying around and double checking the camera equipment. Around the corner, she saw the familiar blonde hair duck behind one of the barriers, her voice traveling across the room towards them. “Hold that thought, I found her.”_

_They began walking around the corner to see Alexis talking to one of the cameramen about how they will film the entrance and exit onto the ice lost in her own production world. She saw the flicker of Tessa’s dark hair and immediately finished up her sentence to turn around, letting out a squeal. “Why if it isn’t Ms. Tessa Virtue or should I say, Tessa Johnson? How are you?”_

_The two exchanged a brief hug before Alexis greeted Mark and smiled down at Ella. Alexis had worked with Tessa and Scott multiple times since the Sochi Olympics whether it was recruiting them for commentary or an interview post-skate. Although it had been a while since her and Scott’s last commentary, both turning down offers about a year and a half ago, when everything fell apart, with Alexis resorting to Kaitlyn Weaver and Andrew Poje. “They did well,” Alexis had told Tessa afterward, “but they were nothing like you and Scott.”_

_“Still Tessa Virtue, never got around to filing that paperwork,” laughed Tessa. “Mark said it was no big deal considering everyone associates me professionally with Virtue.”_

_“No hyphenation even?” said Alexis._

_She giggled and shook her head. “Nope, I’m afraid not. Hey, before you show me where I’ll be stationed is there a quiet place for Mark and Ella to sit? I am on standby feeding duty.” Tessa reached over and gently stroked the top of Ella’s head poking out._

_“Oh, of course. Let me show you, Mark,” said Alexis, ushering Mark to follow her. “I’ll be right back, Tess. Maybe take a look at the warm-up to get some ideas, yeah?”_

_Tessa nodded and gave Ella and Mark both a kiss, before watching them disappear around one of the back doors. She sighed and tentatively walked over to the edge of the boards, hearing the crisp and familiar sound of blades cutting across the ice. She stared out at the various ice dance teams, all ranging in age and skill, remembering what it felt to be out there. Competition days always made her a bundle of nerves, never sleeping well the night before, and having to continually force herself to choke down breakfast while Scott had to be forced to stop eating. Although he was always the one there to calm her down._

_She clutched her blazer closer to her body, sauntering around the rink, observing the skaters stopping at the boards to talk to their coaches after they practiced a lift in their routine. Her eyes scanned around the coaches, immediately recognizing Patrice’s short curled hair and his typical suit, wanting to go over and talk to him, but she suddenly froze in place when her eyes rest on the person next to Patrice . . . Scott._

_He looked the same as she remembered him, except less drunk and disheveled. His smooth complexion and long brown hair stood out to her like a sore thumb, as he leaned over the boards and whispered silently. Tessa stood in her place watching him coach, seeing the passion in his movements and facial expressions. Tessa’s heart began racing in her chest rapidly, wanting to turn around and walk away and see him when they were supposed to start commentating. Except her body refused to move from its place, her eyes locked continuously on him, wanting to remain in this frozen state._

_That was when it happened when his eyes looked up and met with her own. Scott whispered something to Patch, receiving a pat on his back, before exiting the area by the boards and began moving towards her. Tessa’s heart pounded in her chest, turning abruptly on her heel and hurriedly walking away, knowing well that she couldn’t escape him. A hand was placed on her back causing her to turn around and see Scott standing in front of her again. From a distance, it looked like he was the same, but the closer she saw the lack of sleep and sadness beneath his eyes._

_“Tess,” muttered Scott. His hand slowly moving away from her to position itself by his side._

_“Scott,” She swallowed._

_His hand began nervously combing through his locks. “It’s great to see you. How have you been? What’s new?”_

_Tessa let out the breath she inadvertently held. “Nothing new at all, the same,” She lied, a sense of guilt rising within her. “How about you? Is Kaylie doing well?”_

_“Yeah, great actually. You look different, a, uh, good kind of different. Like something has changed but in the best way possible.” Scott’s eyes moved up and down her body, trying to figure out what. Tessa consciously positioned her arms to cover the bit of baby fat she still had left to lose in her stomach. Luckily, the blazer was enough to cover her enlarged breasts, which would be an immediate giveaway._

_She shrugged, knowing more than ever a part of her wanted to tell him. Except now wasn’t the right moment, not when things were still murky from the past year. It pained every part of her when she laughed at him shaking her head, acting as if he was ridiculous. “Nope, nothing different. I’m still me.”_

 

* * *

 

The day after Scott left was brutal for both Tessa and Ella. Tessa woke up the next morning, her eyes crusted over from tried tears wondering if last night was a nightmare. Sighing, she climbed out of bed rubbing her eyes as she put on her slippers and robe to patter down the hallway. Passing directly by Ella’s room, Tessa went to knock on Scott’s door to see if he wanted to have breakfast with them but immediately sunk when Tessa saw the open door and empty room. Last night was certainly not a dream, and she didn’t know where to begin handling Ella.

 

As she turned to walk away, the presents laying neatly on the bed captured her attention. She walked towards them and sighed, seeing the familiar sense of wrapping. Scott never was one that was good with wrapping presents, although he always tried. She remembered years ago trying to teach them in her place at Canton when he decided to go above and beyond for his family that year. That was the year that they were actually able to go home for Christmas, giving him the constant burst of joy. He ended up barely being able to wrap the presents, with Tessa carefully and artistically doing the rest of his gifts. They were up well past midnight.

 

Now as she held onto the presents he got her and Ella, she began tearing up seeing that he never learned how to wrap but still put in the effort for them. Her concerns last night were valid, she had every reason to be upset, but the way she spoke to him . . . It wasn’t right. Yet, she knew Scott took every single one of those words to heart, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to reach him at least not for the next few days. Sighing, she placed the presents in one of the empty dresser drawers knowing that Ella shouldn’t see the gifts until Christmas.

 

Gently closing the door to the room, Tessa went to wake up Ella. Ella who woke up with an immediate grin on her face, then apologizing to Tessa for what she said last night. Tears filled the corners of Tessa’s eyes, as she pulled Ella into her arms hugging her tightly and saying that it was okay. If only the little girl knew what sort of morning she would have and how would Ella handle the idea that Scott would not be staying with them anymore?

 

Of course, it didn’t go well, as one would expect. It started out with disbelief and shock, Ella determined to prove that her mother was wrong. Then after seeing all of his clothes and various belongings were gone from his room and the living room she began panicking and crying, racing for her iPad to call him, followed by Tessa taking the iPad from Ella and telling her not to call him.

 

“He wouldn’t leave us, Mommy, he wouldn’t,” cried Ella trembling in Tessa’s arms.

 

“Sweetheart, he isn’t going to be in our lives forever. It is just the two of us, something that we need to learn,” soothed Tessa. She rocked Ella back and forth rubbing her back while planting kisses on her daughter’s head. Guilt swelled up in Tessa, knowing very well what she did to Ella, but also knew it needed to be done.

 

Later that day, while Tessa was making a quick dinner before Ella’s last full dance practice before the recital, she found Ella beside herself on the couch. Crying into one of her soft blankets, while continually hitting the facetime button on the iPad to only be ignored. “Pick up, Scott, please,” said Ella, wiping at her nose. “Mommy he won’t answer me! What did you do?”

 

The accusations flew the rest of the night, the sadness pouring out of Ella every time she looked at her iPad, with Tessa ultimately taking it away. Dance practice remained the usual, other than the teacher expressing concern about Ella’s lack of expression as she performed her dance. Tessa shrugged it off saying that Ella was having a rough day and she should be ready to perform on Friday and couldn’t wait, which was true.

 

 Their bedtime routine was normal, Ella cooperating each step of the way sadness heavy in the girl. The sadness that Tessa hadn’t witnessed from Ella since Mark’s death, but Tessa made sure to remain strong through all of it. As she was tucking a sleepy Ella into bed, crouching beside it and giving her a kiss on the forehead she heard Ella mutter. “I really thought Scott cared.”

 

That was day one; Tessa felt like a monster.

 

* * *

 

 Scott sat at the bar, the very same bar that started this disaster. He wondered how different it would have been that day if he hadn’t taken out his grief towards Tessa. Apparently, a pregnant Tessa that Scott remained utterly unaware about that left him more confused. Why hadn’t he known before the bar that she was pregnant? Why didn’t she tell him? He sighed, taking a sip of his beer and tried to focus his attention back on the Leaf’s game as he sat there alone. The loser of the entire bar tonight.

 

It had only been one day since he saw Tessa and Ella, making it feel like an eternity. His entire body sunk, he couldn’t even muster out a smile at home to the point where his dad told Scott he needed to get out and get some fresh air. So there went, to the bar where it all started. What a fucking mess. Except for this time, it was beer and not whiskey because he learned from his ways, he learned what not to do in a moment of distress.

 

The phone lit up and began vibrating on the bar countertop loudly causing glares from a couple a few seats away. Apologetically he looked at them, before picking up his phone and seeing the facetime call request from Ella . . . The tenth one from tonight. He hated every minute of this, he hated ignoring the little girl he fell for, but he knew he shouldn’t answer. Scott knew that Tessa and Ella needed space. His heart sunk even more, as he declined the phone number and stared back up at the screen. The Leafs were died with the Penguins causing for the game to go into overtime, which usually would call for an adrenaline rush but this time it did nothing for him. Nothing at all.

 

“Another beer, sir?” asked the bartender seeing the almost empty glass.

 

“Nah, I’ll close my tab. Thank you though,” replied Scott. He had several beers now and knew that he needed to drive home in one piece or else he would never hear the end of it from his parents. Ever since his tumble from Sochi into heavy drinking and driving when intoxicated, his parents constantly worried when he went out to a bar and if he stayed out too late. They were even more alarmed when he arrived home with a suitcase last night at eleven p.m., especially his mother.

 

_“Scott? Is that you?” Alma had said, racing down the stairs. She made eye contact with Scott, who was a disheveled mess after crying at the side of the robe. His entire body slumped as he kicked off his shoes and shrugged off his jacket, only to shakenly sit down in the recliner chair rubbing at his eyes. Alma stared at him for a long time, finally making the connection. “What happened?”_

_“I’m going to stay with you the rest of my time home, is that okay?” He choked out the words, shamefully looking down at the ground to hide more inevitable tears._

_“Of course, it is. You know that.” She walked down the rest of the stairs to go over and sit on the coffee table in front of him trying to find her son’s eyes. “What happened? Is everything okay?”_

_“She doesn’t need me anymore, Ma,” whispered Scott._

_Alma sighed, stretching out her hands to grab ahold of Scott’s. She gave them a light squeeze, managing to meet his watery eyes. “Isn’t that a good sign that she has moved on from Mark?” That only made Scott cry even harder, alarming his mother even more._

_“I love Ella, Ma, and I feel like I just lost her forever.”_

 

The bartender returned, suddenly interrupting Scott’s thoughts, placing the bill and pen on the mahogany bar top. Scott sighed and glanced at the bill, giving the bartender a generous tip, before collecting the customer copy of the receipt and stowing it away in his wallet. He glanced at the Leafs game, finally becoming aware of the shouting surrounding him at the bar. Knowing he needed to get away from this environment, he quickly finished the rest of his beer, put on his winter coat, and slipped out of the bar unnoticed.

 

Maybe, just maybe, this was all his fault.

 

* * *

 

“Grandma, do you like my costume?” Ella asked as she walked out of her closet to twirl around in her dance recital costume. It was the typical costume that any four-year-old would have, a sweet combination of sassy meets cute. The red sparkly tutu skirt combined with the enormous bow that was placed on top of her head made her even more adorable. A sparkle glistened in her eyes, as she wandered over to the mirror to get a better look at herself.

 

Kate Virtue sat on Ella’s bed, a smile affixed to her granddaughter. She looked radiant twirling in the skirt, singing to herself and practicing her dance routine while Tessa finished getting ready for the Christmas dance recital in her own room. Kate knew something was off with both Ella and Tessa. She sensed that Scott deciding to spend the next with his family wasn’t the complete truth. She knew her daughter well, she knew when a problem was more profound, but Kate also could read Ella. She saw the slight discontent the past two days when Ella looked at her iPad or gazed into the empty guest room. It wasn’t this simple.

 

“Come here, Ella. Let me take a better look at you,” grinned Kate, outreaching her arms for Ella to run into. The way Ella behaved before a dance recital reflected how Tessa used to be when she was that little and starting dance. Always a bundle of energy when putting the costume on, mesmerized at the final look before she performed. Then again, Tessa was always the leader on stage taking the lead when other kids stood in place not knowing the routine.  “Now what do you do when you’re on stage, pumpkin?”

 

Ella giggled, nuzzling further into her grandmother’s chest. “Smile with my teeth and try not to look at my feet, but definitely don’t look off stage,” repeated Ella.

 

Kate nodded her head, seeing the love for performance already in Ella. “You forgot one thing. Have a great time with your friends,” whispered Kate, “and remember all of your family will be watching you have fun.”

 

Her face suddenly fell, pulling away from Kate and looking down at her hands. “Grandma Kate, not everyone is going to be there. Not Daddy, I know he is watching me in heaven.” Ella’s head and finger pointed towards the ceiling. “But others.”

 

“Oh?” asked Kate, already anticipating the answer. She knew the love and close relationship Ella developed for Scott; anyone could see it when Ella spoke about Scott. According to Tessa, the past few days with Ella started off rough but slowly continued to get better. Tessa claimed that it was Ella's excitement for dance and Christmas that caused her lack of sleep and that it wasn't related to Scott, but Kate didn't believe that overused lie after hearing it for years.

 

“Scott, but Mommy asked him to leave,” sighed Ella.

 

Kate’s heart sunk, seeing the distress in Ella, then looked up to see Tessa leaning against the doorway.

 

Tessa half-heartedly smiled at her mom pretending she didn’t hear what Ella said, before glancing at her pouting daughter. After the disastrous first day with Scott leaving Ella, her upset and tantrums about his disappearance slowly started fading. Although, Tessa knew her daughter was still upset and trying to understand what happened when everything felt so perfect to her. Ella, the determined, innocent little girl still firmly believed Scott wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye and didn't know how angry she should be with Tessa.

 

Soon enough Kate was driving both Ella and Tessa down the curvy road towards the auditorium in which Ella’s recital would take place. The car ride was quiet for the most part, Tessa deep in thought and tuning out the Hall and Oates that softly played from the car. This wasn’t the night Tessa envisioned.

 

The night became a blur when she dropped Ella off backstage, kissing and hugging her wanting her to have fun. Ella soon found herself immersed with her friends from dance, comparing outfits, despite them being the same, causing a sudden emotional Tessa to leave the backstage area. She felt ridiculous to be emotional about this, but she remembered dreaming about seeing Ella dance for the first time with Mark sitting next to her. Then Tessa started this new, ridiculous dream about Scott being there with her. Both dreams were dead now; she still blamed herself for Mark, and for Scott.

 

Splashing water on her face in the bathroom, not caring about her makeup, she began to practice her breathing exercises to calm her anxiety. She needed to focus on herself, focus on her family, and Ella’s favorite time of the year. Work was minimal the next couple weeks, Ella was out of school, and Jordan would be in town. This was what Tess wanted, this is what she needed.

 

Tessa hurriedly walked past the crowd as the auditorium started dimming for the beginning of the recital. She was in a trance of some sorts, coming back from the bathroom feeling stronger than before. Except, as she ran down the aisle to find the row her entire family reserved, she didn’t feel the slip of the bracelet from her wrist. The bracelet fell next to the chair that was occupied by, no other than, Scott Moir.

 

* * *

 

The dance recital was beautiful, with Ella dancing her heart out. Tears of pride glistened over Tessa’s face as she watched Ella having the time of her life, occasionally bossing girls around her if they were doing something wrong. Her mom’s hand reached over and squeezed Tessa’s at one point, while Jordan handed Tessa a tissue whispering that Ella was the best one up there in her age group saying she wasn't biased. For once, Tessa didn’t think about Mark during the show, instead captivated by her daughter’s glow. She thought about the present, thought about her beautiful daughter and how she would give her the world. A vow she made Ella the day she was born.

 

Tessa, Jordan, and Kate slowly began exiting the auditorium after the show, smiling and talking about how they couldn’t wait to see Ella perform again in the spring. They were chit-chatting about random topics, as Poppy stood close to her dad waiting to give Ella some chocolate that she brought as a post-performance gift. Tessa told her family she would go behind the stage and check Ella out, not paying close enough attention as she moved forward with her back twisted to gesture to her family she would be right back. The clumsy nature took control of her, as she smacked into someone head on feeling the firm chest against her nose.

 

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry!” said Tessa, words flying out of her mouth, before she had a chance to think. She clasped her hand over her mouth, embarrassed to use such profanity around young families, before moving her eyes up to stare at Scott completely taken aback. “Wh-what are you doing here?”

 

“I, uh, I had to come to see her dance after hearing about it for months,” stated Scott anxiously burying his hands into his winter coat. “Don’t worry, I’m not planning on seeing her. I was planning on slipping out before you or Ella saw me but had to return this bracelet to lost and found.” He pulled out one of his hands to reveal the bracelet that looked oddly identical to the Hillberg and Berk one Tessa was wearing.

 

She immediately felt for the bracelet on her left wrist, noticing its missing presence before moving her eyes back up to Scott. “I think that’s mine, actually,” Tessa sheepishly replied. She stuck out her left wrist pointing at its absence. “It must have fallen when I rushed to my seat, the clasp must have not been put on enough.”

 

“Well guess that saves me a trip,” laughed Scott, the lack of emotion evident in his voice. He saw Tessa’s extended arm still to show the lack of bracelet and with no hesitation began clasping the bracelet around her delicate wrist his fingers lingering there momentarily. Scott made eye contact with Tessa, both of their breaths catching before he removed his hands and immediately buried them back in his coat pockets. “Can you tell Ella she was the best one on stage for me? Unless that is going too far . . .”

 

She bit her lip and sighed, knowing well the pain he was feeling. It wasn’t just unfair what she did to Ella, it was unfair what she did to Scott. Neither one did anything wrong, instead connect quickly to some sort of in-between of father and daughter and friend and friend. Did she overreact to the point where she unintentionally kicked Scott, her guest, out of her own house? Tessa knew boundaries needed to be in place, but she did not think the boundaries should be that Scott and Ella could never talk again.

“Merry Christmas, T,” replied Scott.

 

He went to move past her finding the opening in the crowd towards the door, quietly leaving the venue. Tessa turned around to stare at his figure beginning to walk down the snowy pathway, seeing his breath in the air from the well below freezing temperatures. Her heart raced, butterflies started swarming through her stomach as she moved her legs through the crowd to chase after him. This wasn’t right.

 

“Scott!” She shouted, her face hitting the cool breeze. She didn’t care that she lacked gloves or scarf or that her coat remained unzipped. The cold didn’t bother her, the only thing bothering her was Scott. Her former best friend, her sudden person that listened to everything she needed to let out for Mark’s stuff. And the only person who helped her see that life could move on slowly. “Scott Patrick Moir!”

 

He stopped and turned around in the path, seeing Tessa walking down it at an uneven pace. She was wearing heeled boots, which wasn’t the wisest choice, and the new dusting of snow left little room for traction. Scott anticipated Tessa’s fall before it happened, immediately reaching out to catch her when she finally caught up to him. His strong arms wrapped around her waist, his back hunched over, in a pose that nearly resembled the end of Moulin Rouge. Her gorgeous green eyes met his hazel ones, her lips quivering and trying to find words to say, to only be interrupted by him returning her to her correct position.

 

“Tess are you on a suicide mission?” He lightly joked.

 

She ignored his comment. “Come back with us.”

 

Scott blinked, before frowning and shaking his head. “I don’t think that is the best idea, Tessa. You made yourself clear the other night, and I don’t want to hurt Ella any more than I probably already have with all of the declined calls.”

 

“Please,” Tessa pleaded, “we may not need you anymore Scott, but I know Ella wants you there.”

 

“And you?” He stated.

 

She smiled up at him, emotion clinging to every syllable she said. “I want you there, Scott. Whether it is hearing you grumble every time you climb into that bed you hate or greeting us with breakfast, so we get to sleep in a bit, or watching some dumb game show on TV after Ella goes to bed. I want that, I want my friend.”

 

He stared at her seeing the tears beginning to glisten on the corners of her eyes. There were many words Scott wanted to say, as he contemplated both sides of the decision he was presented with. However, the only word came out of his mouth as he replied to Tessa’s comment, his tone firm in his response. “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello there, long time no see. This chapter was a beast to tackle to the point where I was halfway through writing it and decided to scrap essentially all of it and rewrite it to fit something I liked better. In the end, I'm quite satisfied with it and I hope you are too. 
> 
> The kudos and kind comments blow me away, to the point where I formed tears in my eyes. The support continues to amaze me. Hope to be talking to you in the comments. :)
> 
> P.S. Full bar scene/explanation next chapter so get ready. I gave some little hints as to what happened in this chapter so curious if you found the clues.


	12. Our Lives Are Far From Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa and Scott finally sit down and reminisce about what happened at the bar all those years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> First of all, sorry for the delay. As you can tell by the word count, this was a beast of the chapter that I took my time with writing. Also, life took a higher importance than writing, as well as me needing a mental break after writing and reading the feedback from the previous chapter. 
> 
> I know there was quite a mixed reaction, with a lot of people not so fond of how Tessa was portrayed the previous chapter. I took these comments (and constructive criticism) into consideration whole heartedly. Nonetheless, I still continue to stand by what I wrote. I’m truly sorry if this has caused you to lose interest in my story or has caused you anger or furthered harsh judgment. I think that is something wonderful about writing and interacting with people and that constructive criticism is a positive thing because it makes you grow as a person.
> 
> While, I will defend my writing to no end I do understand concerns and frustrations. 
> 
> There is a lot of backstory to fill in the gaps in an attempt to explain why Tessa reacted the way she did that will be elucidated this chapter.
> 
> To some it may seem completely out of character, to others it may be understandable, and I understand the different views. Could I have done things differently? Yes. Could I have avoided certain sentences? Yes. Can I please everyone? No. I’m not perfect, I’m not a professional writer by any means, this is for pure joy. For now the only thing I can do is stand by what I wrote and hopefully I don’t lose you as a reader.
> 
> I do hope after you read this chapter you understand Tessa’s reaction better and will continue with me on this journey. I love this story, I love the platform, and support I have received from the start. This story has grown and has changed me, given me a way to relax after life stresses. 
> 
> Anyways, enough of my ramblings and hope you enjoy.

 “Okay,” said Scott, his eyes shifting towards the snow-covered cement, barely moving as families began excitedly walking by the two of them, no one noticing the discontent between Tessa and Scott. His heart was racing, his palms felt sweaty, and his body began feeling weak. Weak from the torment of emotions the past few days, with the realization that he maybe he did overstep the boundaries and encouraged Ella. He could see what Tessa meant, but it still hurt like hell. Her words continued to echo through Scott’s mind as he laid in his childhood bed, buried under the Toronto Maple Leaf bedding.

 

Tessa’s face filled with desperation suddenly relaxed, the tension leaving her shoulders as her green eyes attempting to find his hazel ones, that remained on the snow-covered ground. “I’m sorry, Scott, I’m—” She paused, biting her lip knowing that this wasn’t the time and place to elaborate.

 

Scott’s eyes drifted upwards to meet Tessa’s, swallowing and shaking his head. “This isn’t an easy fix, Tess. Me coming back doesn’t change what happened a few days ago, what happened all those years ago. I’ve been thinking . . . A lot about everything. I even called up my old therapist in London, and I don’t think me constantly being in and out of Ella’s life, especially under these circumstances, will do anything but harm her.”

 

Tessa reached out to touch him, the coldness evident in her fingertips, but quickly moved her hand away after a light brushing of his coat. “Can we at least talk soon?” pleaded Tessa, her voice beginning to croak. “About us, about Ella, and where we go from here. If there is even a place to go from here with our friendship.”

 

He stared at her, slowly bobbing his head. “There is only a place to go, Tess. Twenty-something years of partnership and friendship can never permanently end.” Scott sighed and gave Tessa a long look, glancing down at the time on his phone. “But I don’t think I should come back, it wouldn’t be fair. I can’t do that to her, Tess. Not when I don’t know if you want me to be a part of her life.”

 

Tessa nodded her head, the lump increases in size in her throat. “I . . . I get that completely, Scott, I do.” She started backing away from him slowly, watching him continue to shuffle in his place. Her eyes blinked slowly at him, gulping, and clenching her fists lightly. “For what it’s worth, she knows that it wasn’t your fault that you left. That it was mine.”

 

He let out the breath he held. As his chest relaxed, he began pushing back the emotion, knowing that now wasn’t the place for this conversation. The conversation that was five years overdue between the two of them. “We should talk after Christmas, figure this out before I head back to Montréal.”

 

“I don’t want you out of my life,” stated Tessa, “for what it’s worth.”

 

Scott nodded, his eyes flickering back towards hers. “You should get back inside, your family is probably wondering where you are.” He took a few steps towards Tessa, leaning in to press his lips against her cold cheek, feeling her body relax at his touch. “Merry Christmas, Tess. I hope Ella gets the best Christmas she deserves.”

 

Tessa’s eyes fluttered shut at the feeling of his warm lips pressed against her cheek, a single tear leaking out of her right eye. “I’m sorry, Scott. God, I’m so sorry. I hate myself every time I think about it.”

 

Scott sighed, his thumb brushing away the single tear, causing her green eyes to flutter back open. “I—I’ll call you soon, okay, T?” He whispered to her, sincerity strong in his eyes.

 

“Okay,” was all Tessa could say. This time he pulled away from her and turned around to walk away, never looking back. She stood there, as snowflakes began drifting down from the sky, trying to hold back every ounce of pain when she saw him climb into his black rental car. Sighing and biting her lip, she turned around and began slowly walking back to the lobby area to greet her family.

 

Tessa knew how deeply she messed up, how she let emotions cloud her judgment and rational thought. Her behavior towards Scott was something that hadn’t happened in years, the earlier years in their competitive career when their communication on and off the ice wasn’t the greatest. A habit of anger and dirty things towards each other that was quickly fixed with therapy and its lessons on effective communication. All the hard years spent dedicated to a productive partnership promptly vanished at that moment. She hated herself for it, she hated what she did.

 

And she didn’t know if it could be fixed.

 

* * *

 

“Mommy, can’t I stay up a bit longer?” asked Ella, rubbing her eyes, “we can watch a Christmas movie like Frosty.”

 

Tessa stood behind Ella in the bathroom, lightly brushing through Ella’s freshly washed hair. After returning home from the dance recital, Tessa quickly drew a bubble bath for Ella and started their nightly routine. It was well past Ella’s bedtime, and Tessa knew that it would be best if Ella stayed on a consistent sleep schedule, despite it being Christmas break.

 

“How about we do that tomorrow morning, sweetheart?”

 

Her daughter sighed in response, shrugging her delicate shoulders. “Can you tell me a story before bed at least?”

 

Tessa smiled, as she placed the brush down on the counter before reaching for Ella’s toothbrush and toothpaste. “Of course. What story do you think you want to hear tonight?” She turned on the tap momentarily to wet down the toothbrush, before handing it to Ella who climbed up on her stool.

 

“The Princess Tutu one,” said Ella, placing her toothbrush in her mouth and began brushing her teeth. Tessa leaned against the counter, smooth back several stray strands of Ella’s damp hair from her face before rubbing her daughter’s back. Ella finished up brushing her teeth, spitting out her toothpaste in the sink, and rinsing her mouth.

 

“Show me your teeth,” instructed Tessa, “let’s see if they sparkle.”

Ella giggled and curved her mouth upwards in a wide, toothy grin. “Are they sparkly, Mommy? I brushed every part of them.”

 

Tessa laughed, “yes, they look beautiful. Ready for the story time about the princess?”

 

Her daughter nodded eagerly and soon hand-in-hand began walking towards Ella’s room. Tessa pulled back the made bed sheets, helping Ella climb in before tucking the covers firmly around her. She sat down on the edge of the bed, her legs curled up underneath her, and stared down at her daughter who was eagerly looking at her to begin the continuation of the story Mark started a couple years ago. The one that was based on Tessa’s life.

 

Ella stared up at her mom, the question that remained in the back of her mind finally coming out. “Did you ask Scott to leave because he isn’t Daddy?”

 

Tessa sighed, inching herself closer towards Ella. Her hands found her daughter’s, gently holding them and giving them a light squeeze. “No one will ever replace, Daddy,” swallowed Tessa, “but Scott is pretty great, right?”

 

Ella nodded, “I really like Scott.”

 

“I know you do, sweetheart, he is a great friend to you, but he isn’t your Daddy. We have to remember that, okay? It is really just the two of us now, he won’t be here forever.”

 

“I’m sorry, Mommy,” whispered Ella, her voice becoming smaller and filled with emotion, “for not listening to you and only listening to Scott.”

 

Tessa shook her head, wiping at her own eyes. “Ella, you have nothing to be sorry for. I’m sorry for taking him away without letting you see him again. I know you’re upset with me.”

 

“I know you miss Daddy a lot and you’re sad without Daddy.” Ella continued picking at her comforter. “I wish Scott came to my dance recital like he promised me.”

 

“He actually did, but had to leave early,” said Tessa, a single tear falling from her eye, “he wanted me to tell you that you were the most beautiful dancer up there. Scott was very proud of you, and hopefully, he will be visiting us soon.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes, really,” smiled Tessa, “it is getting late how about we start the story now? Where did I last leave off?”

 

Ella told her, and Tessa wiped away her tears and laid next to Ella explaining the next part of her life story, the part where she fell hopelessly in love with Scott. The way he knew her and always caused her to smile, no matter what she was going through. The story felt like a walk through the happier times of her life with Scott, before Ella, before Mark, and before their relationship took an abrupt turn. She missed it, every part of it, and she missed present-day Scott even more.

 

* * *

 

Scott came home from the dance recital, wordlessly hanging up his coat and kicking off his shoes, refusing to make eye contact with Danny, his nephew Mason, and his dad, who were watching highlights from the Leaf’s game earlier. Usually, this would entice Scott to grab a beer and join his family, but today he barely even looked at the television before climbed the stairs up to his childhood room.

 

“What is his deal?” He heard Danny asked his dad, seconds before Scott shut the door to his room.

 

He let out a long sigh, seeing his hastily discarded suitcase in the corner of his room that he hadn’t bothered to unpack. His mom repeatedly told him that his clothes would get wrinkled, and she would not be the one to iron them out, but it didn’t faze him. Instead, he remained on his bed rolling his eyes and shrugging his shoulders, until Scott grabbed the collared shirt he decided to wear to Ella’s dance recital. Sighing he began unbuttoning his shirt, grabbing a hanger in his closet deciding that he might as well hang up his nicer clothes.

 

Scott wasn’t sure how much time passed, as he sorted through his clothes after slipping into a pair of sweatpants and a white shirt when he heard a knock on the door. Running a hand through his hair he stood up, turning off the music that blasted from his phone. “Yeah?” Scott shouted.

 

“What are you doing up here? Dad and I were waiting for you to join us for a beer,” said Danny, as the door opened. His arms immediately crossed over his chest, as his head rested against the doorframe. “It was quite the game, a nail-biter really. There was this unbelievable shot that—”

 

“I’m not in the mood, Danny, at least not right now,” said Scott. He sat down on the edge of the bed, hunched over with his elbows resting on his thighs. “Tell Dad to not wait up for me, I’ll watch the highlight reel tomorrow morning.”

 

Danny frowned, walking further into the room. “What’s going on with you?”

 

“What do you mean? Nothing is going on with me,” lied Scott.

 

His brother immediately saw through the lie. “Mason was excited to be able to stay in Uncle Scott’s room instead of in the basement with Charlotte since Ma said you would be staying at Tessa’s for the holidays. What happened to that plan?”

 

Scott sighed, “It wasn’t good for me to be there, that’s all. I really don’t want to get into more details.”

 

“Details about the little girl you have obviously fallen in love with?”

 

He gritted his teeth, refusing to look at Danny. “Yeah, I guess you can say that.”

 

Danny strolled towards Scott’s bed, taking a seat next to him. Both brothers were staring at the wall in front of them. Minutes of silence passed between the two of them, the silence that used to be alarming for their parents since they were always up to no good. The three Moir boys had always been a lot to deal with, especially with Scott still managing to become pinned under Danny and Charlie’s grasp during their wrestling tournaments. It never ended well for Scott, mostly arriving at skating practice the next day with a carpet burn on his cheeks causing Tessa to be alarmed. Yet despite the teasing and pestering, Danny and Charlie were always there for him and in many ways were his “rock” and the ones who support him no matter what. They weren’t your standard set of brothers.

 

“I don’t know what to do, about any of this,” admitted Scott breaking the silence. He started toying with his hands, as thoughts raced through his mind. Every part of him wanted to go home with Tessa, to see Ella again, and figure out the past. He knew there were many things to be talked about, including the five years of tension, but Scott was scared. Scared what would happen when they ran through every emotion about what happened at the bar that night. What happened when it was his turn to give up on Tessa and their friendship.

 

“What happened tonight, Scott?”

 

“I went to Ella’s dance recital, don’t worry I made sure I didn’t see her, and in all honesty, I didn’t even want Tessa to see me,” Scott sighed, “she wanted to talk about what happened. All of it, not just the fight we had a few days ago . . . the past.”

 

“And you don’t think that is a good idea? You two never talked about what happened five years ago?” Scott shook his head, as Danny’s eyes widened in response. “Well, hate to break it to you, but if you really want to be a part of their lives again, the conversation needs to happen. You can’t be stubborn and never talk about it, Scottie.”

 

He cringed at the name Danny called him, wondering why his family insisted that he had a nickname. What was wrong with just Scott? Pushing away that thought he focused his attention back to the conversation, hating to admit that Danny was right. “I know, but I just couldn’t do it tonight. I miss her, I miss them already, and it’s only been a few days,” admitted Scott.

 

“Can you answer something for me honestly?”

 

Scott agreed silently.

 

“Are you falling for Tessa again?” asked Danny. His eyes met Scott’s immediately knowing the answer, without Scott needing to reply. It was written deep within Scott’s eyes as if a flame was burning and would not extinguish. A flame filled with the feelings of love and happiness when he was around Tessa, with a bit of anguish knowing that needed to hold back. “And I’m assuming you haven’t said anything because the realization of your feelings is new, and Tessa is still grieving over the loss of Mark?”

 

“Are you a mind reader or something?” half-heartedly joked Scott.

 

Danny shrugged his broad shoulders. “I wish, but lucky for me, you are easy to read.”

 

“The thing is, Danny this time to fall for Tessa is different,” confessed Scott, the tone in his voice immediately shifting to become more emotionally candid.  “It’s more intense . . . The type of intensity that hurts. It hurts because I know that the greatest thing is right in front of me and there is a chance I can’t ever have it. That a part of her is grieving, that a part of her is struggling to accept Mark won’t see Ella grow up to be the wonderful girl she is destined to become, and I think that scares her. And what scares me is that no matter how much I am there for them, making sure they are happy, I have this fear that I may only be viewed as a friend.”

 

Scott paused to wipe at his eyes, to prevent any tears from forming, still embarrassed at the thought of crying in front of his brother.

 

He cleared his throat to continue, “I try to accept that Tess and I might only remain friends the rest of our lives, but every time I look at her my heart flutters and my entire body tingles. It doesn’t even matter how upset or how much we broke each other . . . The feeling is there even tonight after the awful words she said. Our dynamic may have changed the past five years, but I know one thing for sure; I will always fall for Tessa repeatedly, no matter what happens between us, because I think that my heart was always and continues always to be meant to love hers.”

 

Danny patted Scott’s back briefly, before standing up from the edge of the bed to clear his throat. He took his tall stance, smiling down at Scott. “If it were my Tessa and me, I would not waste time to see her. I think you’re ready to talk to her, Scott, but you are scared of the future. It won’t get better for either of you if you mope around and once again hold off talking about something that upset both of you tremendously. We don’t need another five-year separation, right?” cautioned Danny.

 

“I know, Dan I know,” stated Scott.

 

“Second, well, uh, I appreciate you letting every ounce of feelings out for me. But I’m your bro, not Ma. I think I prefer masculine, less-detailed conversations than this from here on out, okay?” lightly responded the brother.

 

Scott shot out of bed, rolling his eyes, and letting out a boisterous laugh. “Shut the fuck up, Danny.” His lightly punched Danny’s arm, to be followed by Danny putting Scott in a headlock positioned and knuckled his head giving Scott flashbacks of how they used to be when they were younger. “Wow look at that, my old man brother still has it!”

 

Danny let out a low laugh, deep within his belly, before letting Scott go. He gave him a crooked smile, watching Scott fix his shirt and hair, as he turned around to walk towards the door. “In all honesty, Scott, I don’t think you should wait days to fix it. Because knowing you two and your wonderful friendship waiting never helps anything.”

 

The two brothers exchanged a long look before Danny exited the room and gently shut the door. Scott closed his eyes, taking several relaxing breathes, knowing that Danny was right. This would turn into the same pattern that happened years ago at the bar that later transformed into months of not talking to each other. Only to reunite and pretend that nothing ever happened between them, to let the fight never entirely leave their system and delay any regaining of trust.

 

Scott knew what he had to do; things needed to be different this time. He grabbed his phone off his bed and immediately scrolled down the list of contacts, his thumb hovering over the button to compose a new message. Taking in the breath of courage, he immediately began typing out a message to Tessa knowing very well that she could be in bed or getting Ella settled for bed.

 

Are you awake?

 

In less than a minute he got his response from her.

 

Yes, why?

 

He didn’t even bother to respond, as he quickly fumbled around for a fresh pair of socks and a baseball cap to cover his disheveled head of hair. Scott grabbed his backpack, quickly stuffing in a change of clothes, his computer, wallet, and car keys not knowing what the rest of the night would bring.

 

“Just in case, Scott. Just in case,” He reassured himself, as he slung over the slightly filled backpack and treaded down the stairs to quietly slip out of the house not realizing how late it actually was.

 

Was he crazy for doing this? Was this the right idea? He didn’t know for sure, but it was worth the try.

 

* * *

 

Tessa stared at her phone, that was laying on one of her pages in her book. Her feet were curled underneath her, and a fleece blanket draped across her body. She sat in her reading nook, watching the beginning of the winter storm started rolling in and trying to cleanse her thoughts about everything that happened in the past few days. The blame, the guilt that overtook her body to the point where she couldn’t sleep. Where she began doubting every decision she made in the past seven years. A shudder ran down her spine at the thoughts, the corners of her lips turning downwards at the lack of response from Scott.

 

What did the text mean?

 

She turned down the corner of her book, letting out a long sigh her thoughts still stuck on Scott. Shuffling her slippers on and grabbing her empty cup of night-time tea, she slowly walked down the stairs, avoiding the creaky spots to prevent Ella from waking up. As she stood by the sink rinsing her cup and tidying up the dishes, she became lost in her own little world to the point where she didn’t see the lights of the car pulling back into her long driveway or the slamming of the car door.

 

A light knock on the door interrupted her thoughts, her jump causing one of the plates to drop into the soapy sink. Tessa hurriedly dried her hands, walking briskly to the back door to open it and meet the Moir hazel eyes that she could spot in any crowd. Her entire stomach clenched, as they stared at each other, with snowflakes drifting into the house. Time became frozen at that moment, as she memorized every detail of his eyes that she lacked to noticed earlier. Deep bags were underneath his eyes, his hair slightly askew, and he clutched onto a backpack that was lightly slung on his shoulder.

 

“Scott,” Tessa choked out, not knowing what else to say.

 

“May I come in? Or is your plan to freeze me here?” joked Scott causing time to restart.

 

“Oh, yeah, sorry,” said a flustered Tessa, opening up the door wider and creating room for him to move in. He stomped his snowy shoes on the back mat, before cautiously moving inside hovering dangerously close to a silent Tessa. Tears began welling in her eyes seeing him inside again, as he lightly placed his backpack to the ground to remove his coat. “I didn’t think you would come at least not tonight.”

 

“As of thirty minutes ago, I didn’t think I would either,” admitted Scott. “I’m sorry to show up, unannounced, I wasn’t thinking I just—” He paused his eyes scanning through the interior and avoiding Tessa’s completely. “I just stuffed a bag and got in the car, if you want me to leave—"

 

“What changed?” Tessa tilted her head, eyes wandering curiously.

 

“The fact that I don’t want you out of my life, ever again.” He stared into her green eyes, filled with wonder and hope for their future together whether it was romantic or not. Scott gently raised his hand to cup either side of Tessa’s jaw. “I want to talk, Tess, really talk.”

 

She nodded her head slightly, as Scott’s hands rested on her jaw. “I know, but I don’t even know where to begin other than I’m sorry.” She confessed, with some of the awkward tension easing, “But I know that isn’t enough to fix this.”

 

Scott shook his head, removing his hands from her face. “That’s why I’m not leaving, I’m not going to run this time because we know running doesn’t fix anything. It just prolongs confronting it,” He sighed, burying his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants.

 

“What if this is unfixable?”

 

“It won’t be.”

 

“How do you know that?” cautioned Tessa, her heart beginning to race inside her chest. “You seem so confident that once everything that happened is out in the open, we will be okay. I’m scared, Scott, scared that once you know everything . . . “

 

He was quick to cut her off, immediately grabbing both of Tessa’s hands that were animatedly flying around as she spoke. Their eyes met, and Scott gave her the smallest smile trying to give her encouragement. “Because it’s us.”

 

Tessa silently agreed, her eyes beckoning him to follow her through the house. They approached the family room, that was scattered with Ella’s toys from the week, with Tessa blushing and lightly placing some of them back in the toy bin to clear off a space on the couch for Scott. Soon enough they found themselves sitting on opposite ends of the sofa, with Tessa buried under a warm blanket, picking at areas that collected lint.

 

“Where do we even begin?” dryly laughed Tessa.

 

“Good question,” Scott replied.

 

“I think it is easiest to tell you about Ella, and how I found out about her,” said Tessa, chewing on the bottom of her lip. “In fact, I found out about Ella the day you were getting married. And I wanted to tell you more than anything.”

 

* * *

 

_“Tessa, we need to go if we want to get there on time!” called Mark from their bedroom. He grabbed his cufflinks off the top of the dresser and began securing them around the cuffs of his suit. He glanced over at the closed bathroom door, letting out a sigh when he saw that Tessa’s dress for Scott’s wedding still hung from the outside of the door. “I don’t think being late to your best friend’s wedding out of all things is acceptable.”_

_Today hadn’t been the most excellent start to their day, considering Tessa woke up with an upset stomach to the point where she spent the morning curled up next to the toilet and not being able to down food until about two hours ago. She claimed that it must have been something they ate when they went out for dinner the previous night, brushing it off as no big concern. Yet, the entire day slowed her down to the point where they were scrambling to get ready to the last minute._

_“I’m a bit concerned. Is your stomach acting up again?” He knocked at the door lightly, to only have it swing open right away to a wide-eyed Tessa. Something was written on her face, a look that he had never seen before. It was hard to interpret what it meant, except for the subtle glow on her face._

_“I’m pregnant,” stated Tessa, before holding up the test in front of Mark’s face. She smiled, as she showed the two bold lines down the center of the test, tears beginning to pool in the corner of her eyes. The test was clear as day, her symptoms, and lack of period adding up perfectly. “You’re going to be a father.”_

_Mark let out a happy shout, immediately lifting Tessa up by the waist and twirling her around. Giggles and tears started slipping out of Tessa, as she clutched her arms around Mark’s neck as his lips planted kisses all over her cheeks. A couple of months ago they decided to start trying for a family, with Tessa feeling more than ready to take on motherhood. This was a dream, the perfect little dream that became their reality. They couldn’t wait._

_He set her down on the ground, before looking at the test again and giving her another hug. “You don’t know how happy I feel. We are going to start a family, Tess.” His hand immediately gravitated towards her stomach, with her hand finding its place over his. “You’re going to be the perfect mother, Tess. I already know.”_

_“You’re going to be just as wonderful, if not more when you become a father,” giggled Tessa. She pressed her lips up against his, feeling the vibration against her lips from his content sigh. She pulled back and bit her lip, smoothing out the collar of his suit jacket. “We can’t tell anyone, at least not today. It is still early on and—”_

_“It’ll be our secret,” said Mark, giving her another quick kiss, “for now let’s just enjoy it ourselves. You don’t know how excited I am.”_

_Tessa’s hand clutched her stomach, gazing down at it, trying to come to terms with the child that she was carrying. The next months would be a rollercoaster of emotion, but for right now she was ecstatic, and couldn’t wait to one day hold her child in her arms. To see the child, grow every step of the way with Mark by her side. This was her life, her incredible life that she created with Mark._

_Some things were meant to be._

 

* * *

 

“There was that moment in your wedding, when it was just the two of us, that I wanted to tell you I was pregnant. It was hard keeping that from you since we told each other everything at that point. I was ecstatic, I could barely contain my excitement, but also knew that this was your day. That I didn’t want any of the attention because all of the attention needed to be on you and Kaylie,” continued Tessa.

 

“Then things got messy before you told me,” stated Scott, shaking his head while he cracked his knuckles. He leaned back into the comfy couch before grabbing one of the throw pillows to clutch onto his chest and propped his feet up on the coffee table.

 

Tessa bit her lip and nodded. “Yeah, then things got messy. I wanted to tell you so many times, but I was also scared to say anything until I went to the doctor, until I went through my first trimester. Besides, I knew you would be busy with your honeymoon and settling into your new, married life with Kaylie. It was about finding the right time to tell you, but obviously, my timing wasn’t great.”

 

Scott let out a humorless laugh, scratching his head and rubbing the back of his neck. The timing indeed wasn’t on their side those following months after his wedding. He respected Tessa’s decision not to tell him that day, or several days after because he did need to focus on Kaylie and their new marriage. Yet, he wondered how different everything would be if he knew before what happened before he left for Montréal. Would his life be better? Or worse? He brushed away those thoughts and fixed his gaze on Tessa’s eyes.

 

“You know there was this one point at the wedding, where I looked around to find you. I found you standing over in the corner with Mark, both of you glowing with excitement. I knew that look, I knew that something major happened,” He paused and swallowed, his eyes drifting away from hers. “Initially, I didn’t think too much about it, but then when I saw him place his hands over your stomach and rub it, I wondered if you were pregnant.”

 

Tessa blinked at him, astonished that he caught that stolen moment her and Mark had together. “Then why didn’t you . . .” She was at a loss of words, as she began connecting the dots of what he said to her at their fight at the bar.

 

“Say anything?” stated Scott. “I don’t know the exact answer, but I think I didn’t want to assume anything without you telling me. I figured you would, and with the years that passed without me hearing that you had a child made me think that I jumped to a ridiculous belief. Then when I met Ella at the visitation, I knew she was yours. Those green eyes could only come from one person.”

 

“I know I kept her from you, and I know in many ways it wasn’t right. But—”

 

“You had every right to keep your personal life private after how I treated you at the bar that night,” stated Scott, “I was a horrible person, and it was like I backtracked years of maturity within seconds to act only like a complete ass to you.”

 

Tessa began picking at her nails, a habit that she developed when she was anxious. “That night at the bar I was going to tell you I was pregnant with Ella. I was almost four months and knew this pregnancy was truly real. I remember everything that happened that night before I even arrived at the bar.”

 

* * *

 

_“How late will you be back tonight?” asked Mark, cleaning up the kitchen after their dinner._

_Tessa sat on the couch stretched out with a blanket draped over her, her hands rubbing the small bump that was beginning to become more prominent. She was a week away from being four months pregnant, with time flying faster each day. The first trimester wasn’t the greatest, many rounds of morning sickness causing her to be bed-ridden for the day, but she knew it would be all worth it in the end.  She couldn’t even wait to be a mother, couldn’t wait to find out the gender, watch her bump grow, and feel her baby move inside of her. This was what she wanted for quite some time._

_“Not sure, haven’t seen Scott for a while since our schedules haven’t lined up due to holidays and other events,” said Tessa, glancing down at her phone and realizing she needed to get her coat and shoes on. They agreed to meet at Scott’s house so he could show her the house upgrades him and Kaylie did over the holidays before the two of them would go out to eat somewhere in London. In which she planned on telling him about her pregnancy. “Don’t wait up late for me, if that is the case. We have a lot to catch up on, considering I haven’t seen him since his wedding.”_

_Mark chuckled, “well, texting and brief phone calls don’t really seem to cut it for catching up for you two. You think he will pick up that you’re pregnant or will be shocked when you tell him?”_

_Tessa stood up and began folding up the blanket, giggling and shaking her head. “Honestly, I could see it both ways. I’m assuming if he is paying any attention to my appearance he will figure it out. I mean, this bump is starting to look more like a bump and not me bloating.” She pointed down at the small rise in her looser fitting sweater._

_“It’s an adorable bump,” pointed out Mark. He walked over to her and pressed a kiss to her lips, before kneeling down and muttering something inaudible to Tessa’s stomach, placing a kiss overtop of her sweater. “I want my two girls to come back in one piece, okay? Be careful of the roads, I know they say that they are well treated, but you never know with black ice.”_

_“Promise,” whispered Tessa, leaning in to give him a gentle kiss on his lips, “and girls?” She enunciated the “s” sound, eyeing him carefully. They wouldn’t be finding out the gender of their baby for another few weeks, with Tessa not really thinking about what gender their baby would be. As long as he or she was healthy, that was the only thing that mattered._

_“I have a feeling, a feeling of a beautiful little girl with your eyes.”_

_Tessa smiled, “you can be such a sap sometimes, Mark, but I love you.”_

_“I love you too. Now get out of here and have fun, send my best wishes to Scott and Kaylie, yeah?”_

 

* * *

 

“I remember texting you that I was on my way to your house, not thinking about anything other than how I would break the news to you,” said Tessa fiddling with the rings on her fingers. “That was my biggest concern to you that night, how I would tell you, and how you would react. I never thought anything, but happiness would occur.”

 

She pushed away the fly-aways from her top knot and shifted the position in the couch, feeling more uncomfortable about the impending topic. Tessa didn’t want to admit that she knew something was off as soon as she pulled into Scott’s driveway. As soon as she saw that there was no response from him when she parked in his driveway. He always responded to her texts when she was on her way, always telling her to drive safely, or cracking a joke. The radio silence felt off, but a part of her at the time thought it was just pregnancy hormones messing with her.

 

Tessa swallowed, meeting the hazel Moir eyes.  “I should have realized that when Kaylie opened up the door and said she didn’t know where you were that something was happening between you two. Yet, I don’t remember her looking like she was crying . . . she looked almost as if she was sleepy and numbed with emotion.”

 

“That’s how she reacts,” replied Scott, shrugging his shoulders. “Usually tears at first cries herself to sleep, and becomes numb.”

 

Tessa nodded.

 

“I completely forgot about you that night, after learning that my chances of becoming a father were slim. I—” He paused trying to find the right words, his hands moving around, “I should have texted you to reschedule, but as fucked up as it sounds maybe—”

 

“Maybe everything happens for a reason,” whispered Tessa.

 

Scott swallowed the lump that formed in his throat. “I wish it didn’t, Tess. I wish everything were completely different. That night changed everything, it changed us, and not a day goes by where I don’t think about it.”

 

“That was when we truly lost each other,” replied Tessa tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes, “I wish everything were different too.”

 

* * *

 

_“I don’t know where he is, I didn’t even know that he left,” stated Kaylie, who lacked any sense of worry on her face. She wrapped her arms closely against her chest, shuffling her feet back and forth, as she stood in the dark doorway. “Maybe he went to the skate shop? I know he mentioned there was inventory to do.”_

_“Oh, we made plans that we would meet up tonight. I confirmed it last night,” said Tessa softly, fumbling around in her coat pocket to find her phone. “He wanted to show me the house renovations you two did before we went and got dinner.” The corners of Tessa’s lips turned downwards, as she pulled up the text and double checked the date._

_“I wouldn’t know, he never mentioned anything to me,” sighed Kaylie. She rubbed her eyes, looking exhausted and drained from the events today. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I need to get back to working on kitchen design for a client that they want by tomorrow. Busy day at work and all.”_

_Tessa nodded, adjusting her grip on the purse strap and twisted her body away from Kaylie. “Thank you for letting me know. I’ll check the skate shop and try calling him, I just assumed he lost his phone when I told him I was on my way.” Tessa half laughed, trying to ease the notable tension in the air. “I hope your work is going well. We should meet up and talk sometime soon.”_

_Kaylie nodded her head, her eyes swiftly widening when she saw Tessa place a hand over her stomach as she walked down the front steps. “Tessa?” called Kaylie, watching Tessa turned around her hand still over her stomach, “Congratulations to you and Mark on the baby.”_

_Tessa glanced down at her stomach quickly, shocked that Kaylie caught on so quickly. She smiled and continued giving her emerging bump a rub. “Thank you, but can you not mention this to Scott? I kind of wanted to tell him tonight but considering I don’t know where he is who knows if I will be able to.” Tessa’s heart began raising in her chest when she looked over at Kaylie who was nodding slowly and turned around to walk back inside._

_“I won’t tell anyone,” She said, before closing the door._

_The ambiguity of the situation immediately prompted Tessa to quickly start off her car and back out from the driveway. Although she wanted to believe Kaylie’s suspicion that Scott was at the skate shop, she had a gut feeling that wasn’t the case. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she began driving towards the spot Scott spent a lot of his time post-Sochi. A place that she hoped she would never find him at in the middle of the week._

_She wished she was wrong the entire drive over to the bar, hoping that he wasn’t traveling in a downward spiral once again. Yet, as she turned into the bar’s parking lot, her body immediately tensed seeing his black Acura parked near the entrance. The air escaped her lungs, worry written across her recently paled face, as she parked her car near his recalling the many times she pulled up here the year following the Sochi Olympics. The place Scott vowed never to step foot in again to find solace._

_Tessa gulped at the thought of Scott traveling down that road again, her whole body shaking as she slowly climbed out of the car. Hoisting her purse over her shoulder, she locked her car and began slowly trudging through the slushy parking lot, unsure what she would walk into._

_The bell rang on the door, upon opening it up, with her eyes immediately connecting to the back of Scott’s head. His fingers strumming on the side of his glass of whiskey, his head bobbing to the sound of the country music blaring in the mostly empty bar. She frowned upon seeing the view, a sense of déjà vu creeping up on her. The slumped shoulders, combined with the whiskey, and messy hair could only mean one thing. He was running from something, running from pain._

_She felt her bump one more time for reassurance, before removing her hand from her stomach to walk over towards the bar trying her best to hide her discontent. Upon getting closer to Scott, her entire heart sunk when she saw the agony written on his face. “Scott?” She softly said, her hand finding its place on his shoulder blade, as she slid into the empty seat next to him. “What’s going on?”_

_Scott’s eyes refused to look upwards; instead he stared down at his almost empty glass of whiskey turning the cup around on the mahogany bar top. He continued humming to the music, ignoring Tessa and the back rub she began instinctively giving him, but instead downed the whiskey and ushered to the bartender for another drink._

_“What are you doing here?” He eventually said, once a new glass of whiskey was set in front of him. His eyes finally met her piercing green ones, a burning sensation of hurt searing out of his eyes. “I don’t remember telling you where I was.” His words were slightly slurred, his malodorous breath of whiskey evident._

_“We had plans tonight, remember?” said Tessa. She removed her arm from his back, crossing them in front of her at the bar. “Catch up and everything since your wedding, which was beautiful by the way.”_

_He scoffed, taking a sip._

_Tessa frowned, twisting her engagement ring around her finger nervously. This wasn’t what she expected to happen this entire night, this wasn’t even close to what she expected. As she stared into his complexion, filled with bitterness and sadness, Tessa knew she had to be there for him again. “Do you want to talk about it?”_

_“Not really.”_

_She nodded, flicking the loose hairs over her shoulder and leaning down on the bar to attempt to find his eyes again. Clearing her throat, Tessa turned the bar chair, so it faced more directly to Scott. “I have some news that might cheer you up. Something that I haven’t had the chance to tell you since we haven’t seen each other,” She started cautiously, testing Scott’s mood._

_He took another drink barely even acknowledging her._

_Tessa took it as a cue to continue, “well, I have another life change coming, and it is pretty exciting.”_

_“I don’t care,” Scott hissed, immediately cutting her off. The mannerisms in his body were quickly shifting from impassiveness to aggravation._

_He took a bigger sip and clanked down the glass on the bar, his eyes becoming fixed on the sports channel that showed old replays of the Leafs games. His fists began clenching, the whites of his knuckles showing, as he tried to prevent the fuse from lighting. The dynamite that contained every ounce of sadness, devastation, and upset that circulated around the chances of him becoming a father next to nothing. That this next dream in his life would become obsolete._

_“I came here not to be bothered,” Scott added, his tone void of emotion._

_Tessa let out the breath she was inadvertently holding in, reaching out to touch his tightened fist. The sensation of her touch immediately caused his own breath to catch, jumping and yanking his hands away from her contact. His eyebrows furrowed, as he crossed his arms and rested them on the bar._

_“Scott, I think this will make you feel better. Make you forget about whatever is troubling you,” said Tessa._

_She remembered the lessons over the years from various therapists about the importance of communication, about helping ease each other’s minds from whatever was troubling them. For Scott, it was best to distract him from the darkened thoughts to give him a bit of light, before he would tackle the problem head-on. Perhaps telling him about her pregnancy, asking him to be the godfather of her and Mark’s child, would be that temporary moment of happiness._

_“Tess, stop,” He demanded, “I don’t care.”_

_“What do you mean?” An unsteady voice emerged from her, the noise barely above a whisper._

_“Are you deaf? I don’t care about what you have to tell me about how great your perfect little life is,” said Scott, spitting out the words. He ran a hand through his hair, the veins in his hands bulging from the sudden onset of anger. The words coming out of his mouth far from the man she always knew him to be. He was angry, he was hurt, something more personal than ever before was bothering him. A side of Scott coming out that she had never seen before._

_Tessa sat back in her chair, her eyes widened and her mouth slightly agape. “You don’t mean that.” It took every ounce of her to hold back the shock and hurt that tingled in her body. He couldn’t mean what he said, not after everything they been through together. Although Tessa’s entire body sunk hearing those words come from his mouth, the words that they promised they would never say to each other during their twenty-year partnership. “You aren’t thinking straight right now.”_

_Scott seemed offended by that and downed the rest of his drink, to turn towards Tessa. “You think it is easy being friends with you? Everything always goes your way, you’re always out working on one collaboration after the next or continuing to get accomplishments outside of skating. It’s fucking annoying, while I sit around here doing nothing. My future is already fucked up anyways.”_

_“Don’t say that, you know my life is far from perfect,” defend Tessa._

_He rolled his eyes._

_“You were the one that backed away from multiple deals and sponsorships after PyeongChang, Scott. People wanted you just as much as me, but that wasn’t what you were interested in. You wanted to coach, you wanted to give back to the community you love and start a family.” She swallowed the saliva that pooled into her mouth, blinking back tears and hurt. “Don’t put this on me about your future, when I have done nothing but support it.”_

_Scott shook his head angrily, squeezing his eyes shut with both hands running through the sides of his hair causing it to stick up in multiple directions. “You were supposed to be my fucking future, Tess. Not Mark, not Kaylie. Us, just the two of us. You don’t go twenty years loving a girl only to get screwed over by her in the end.”_

_“Our decision to end our relationship was mutual,” gravely said Tessa, “you can’t put all of the blame on me. Scott, you know that I love, care, respect, and support you day in and day out now.”_

_“I don’t feel the same way about you, not anymore. I don’t care about your life Tessa, I don’t care about you. I want you gone.” Despite the slightly slurred words, his tone remained severe, his eyes locked on Tessa’s._

_Her eyes became red, the tears beginning to pool in the corners of her eyes as she stared at Scott. “You don’t mean that. You’re drunk, you’re not in a good place—” She stopped to wipe at her eyes, not even getting an ounce of sympathy from Scott making her feel as though she was stabbed in the gut._

_“Aren’t drunk actions sober thoughts?”_

_That was when she couldn’t hold back the tears, as they began trickling down her face. She reached out towards Scott, trying to touch him, trying to connect with him again; to use the same techniques of non-verbal communication, they established years ago. Yet, he didn’t even flinch as she placed both hands on his shoulder, a sense of plea in her eyes. “Oh, Scott don’t go down this path again. Not after how hard you worked to get over this years ago.”_

_“Just stop, Tess. You aren’t my fucking mom, you aren’t my girlfriend or wife for that matter. You aren’t anything to me other than an ex-skating partner and ex-girlfriend.  Just go away, I don’t want you here.”_

_“Can I take you home?” She said biting her trembling lip, “I just want to know that you will get home safe I couldn’t stand the thought of something horrible happening to you, especially when you’re like this.”_

_His darkened hazel eyes continued to glare at her, barely batting an eye at the concern evident in Tessa’s face. “No, just fuck off and leave me alone. Don’t call me, don’t text me, and sure as hell don’t show up at my house.” He waved over the bartender, who was eying the fighting pair to make sure the situation to escalate towards violence. “One more and close my tab.”_

_Tessa stared at him for a long time, the tears continuing to leak from her jade eyes. He didn’t dare look over at her which only caused her heart to shatter further, as she snatched her purse and abruptly left her seat at the bar, refusing to look around to look at him. She wiped her mascara-stained tears away, as she climbed into the car. It wasn’t until the doors were locked and the music was blasting in her car, that she let the sobs escape her._

_Her forehead rested against the cold steering wheel, as her arms wrapped around her stomach. Her entire body shook uncontrollably with every sob that escaped her mouth, her mind attempting to tune out the thoughts with the cheesy pop tunes coming from the radio. There were too many thoughts to begin to describe the feelings she experienced at this moment. She felt hurt, betrayed, and angered by the words that came from his mouth, but at the same time felt concern and care for Scott hoping that he was okay._

_She leaned her head back in resting position after minutes passed of hysterical crying. “He didn’t come after me like I thought he would. That’s the Scott I knew, at least that is what I thought,” Tessa exasperated, pushing her messy curls out of her face and wiping away the tears that began to stop._

_A tense sensation in her stomach abruptly started out of nowhere, her hand immediately finding its place over her stomach. It was a feeling of fists drumming on the inside of her stomach, a motion that passed as quickly as it started. Tessa’s eyes widened, as she rubbed her stomach, a smile spreading across her face. “_

_Are you there, baby?” She whispered, continuing to rub her stomach with tears of happiness brimming in her swollen eyes once again. “Did I just feel you for the first time?”_

_Another slight flutter was felt in her stomach, as she smiled down at her bump. A feeling of magic spreading through her veins, already longing to feel it again. This pregnancy was becoming real, she was going to be a mother. Mark was going to be a father. The sadness still was heavy in her heart, but there was a glimpse at happiness to know that she had something to look forward to soon._

_“I’m sorry, I had to meet you in this circumstance when I’m an emotional mess,” She croaked out, shaking her head and using her free hand to wipe at her tears. “But I’ll be okay, eventually, just worried you will never meet your godfather which I know is ridiculous. We’re best friends, for over twenty years believe it or not. Your daddy and I want him in your life. Hopefully, he will become a big part of your life because I know he will treat you like you’re the luckiest girl in the world.”_

_If only she knew the future._

 

* * *

 

Tessa and Scott stared at each other, their lungs tight as Tessa finished retelling her perspective from the story. She felt the corners of her eyes begin to burn with the sensation of tears forming, but she quickly pushed them back, shaking her head and picking at her nails some more. Neither knew what to say, as the strain on the situation from the past continued to circulate in the air. Tessa adjusted the blanket, pulled it further up to her chin, removing her eyes from Scott.

 

“Tess, I—” He abruptly cut off, playing with his hands and remained hunched over. His eyes drifted towards the rug trying to find the right words to say to her. The task was daunting, even impossible, as every last bit of pride and confidence went down as he swallowed. Tears began welling up in his eyes, the back of his hand swatting at his eyes. “I don’t even know what to say. Sorry doesn’t even begin to cover it.”

 

“I never understood why you reacted the way you did, what was troubling you,” started Tessa, her tone becoming uneven, “I blamed myself and thought it was something I did, perhaps it still was in some ways. I gave you the final push in reacting in such a way I—” She shook her head again, her eyes meeting his still rendering her speechless.

 

“No, it wasn’t your fault.” Scott’s tone was adamant, as he shifted closer to Tessa on the couch. He outreached his hand towards her, begging to touch her to give her that reassurance. The reassurance she needed after years of torment from what happened at the bar. “I was not in a good place with Kaylie’s likelihood of being completely infertile and instead of talking about it, I resorted to my old habits . . . the old habits I thought were gone.”

 

He paused to clear his throat, tensing at the thought of everything he said to Tessa that night. It wasn’t him, it wasn’t the man that Tessa loved and cared for. “I took out every ounce of anger, sadness, and grief towards you when the only thing you were doing was trying to help. I—I can’t forgive myself.” He choked out the last words to Tessa

 

Tears began rolling down Scott’s face causing Tessa to shift closer to towards him, lightly touching his fingers. “I understand where it all came from now, Scott,” replied Tessa earnestly looking into his eyes. Her delicate fingers lightly traced circles on the back of his hand, attempting to give him some reassurance. “I just wish I knew sooner, so I wouldn’t have spent the past five years hurting.”

 

“I know, I’m sorry,” whispered Scott, “you don’t know how many times I went to call you following that night, but I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t know how even to begin to explain myself, to tell you that I was wrong.”

 

Tessa nodded, remembering the weeks following not talking to Scott. She called him several times, sent him several texts, with neither being returned.  The emotional pain following each day was excruciating, worse than what she felt when he never checked up on her after her first surgery. He gutted her, pushed their friendship to the limit, and in many ways, he gave up on them completely after that night. When she finally dared to go to his house and confront him face to face, she saw that his home was for sale and discovered from Charlie that Scott and Kaylie moved to Montreal for a fresh start.

 

“Something must have brought on the things you said to me,” stated Tessa, “I understand that your emotions you felt towards Kaylie triggered your old habit to drink your problems away, but there must have been something I did . . . something that I can’t figure out.”

 

Scott let out a long sigh. “I think it was a result of our dynamic that changed after we broke up. Yeah, we were still friends, but it felt different. Our friendship never went fully back to where it was before we broke up and with how quickly we forced our friendship back afterward. . . I don’t think I had the time to grieve over us, to express how it hurt that things didn’t work out.”

 

“But I was still there for you, Scott, you know I would have listened to you. That you didn’t need to hide what you were battling,” sadly said Tessa.

 

“It sounds ridiculous to say, but I felt like you couldn’t be there for me the way I needed you anymore. When Kaylie and I got back from that doctor’s appointment, I felt like I didn’t have anyone else to talk to even though I knew I had my family nearby, but it was you I needed.”

 

“I was there, Scott, I never left,” choked out Tessa, with her tears joining his, “despite our change in our dynamic you knew that I would be your biggest supporter and always there for you no matter what.”

 

Scott wiped at his tears and sniffed, shrugging his shoulders. “I know, I understand that now, but at that moment I felt like I didn’t have you. Your life was perfect, everything going uphill. I suspected you may be pregnant, you were happy as ever with Mark, and your name was getting out there even more for designing skating costumes. As for me? My life was going nowhere, at least that is what I felt.”

 

“Scott—” Tessa started.

 

He was quick to cut her off to continue, “Everything attacked me at once at that moment, with something I held back for several years seeping into my mind. The fact that I never quite got over you, over our breakup. We were both married, we both loved and respected each other’s new partners, but for me, I couldn’t shake you. You don’t go twenty years being in love somehow and then handle the breakup so easily.”

 

Tessa nodded, moving closer to Scott sliding her fingers into his hand. “Do you ever regret us being a couple? Do you ever wonder if that was a mistake? That this entire mess wouldn’t have happened if our romantic past didn’t interfere?” The questions were repeated in her mind ever since the night at the bar happened because their dynamic wouldn’t have changed in the way it did after their breakup. Would it have been different?

 

Scott stared at her for a long time, using his free hand to wipe away his tears, only to cause more to leak out. “No, Tess. I don’t regret being with you at all because when we were great, it was the best thing in my life. And I should have dealt with those emotions of our breakup better, not let part of that upset carry over towards you that night.”

 

Her tears flowed more rapidly out of her eyes.

 

“But I care about you, Tess. I never stopped caring about you, no matter what I told you at the bar. I know I was a coward for running off to Montreal, never returning your calls or texts for a year. At the time I thought it was easiest just to leave her altogether, that it was the best option for us both. I realize I was an idiot to think that, and it was selfish to you to leave with little to no explanation. You don’t know how sorry I am, and I promise I’ll make it up to you every day from here on out.”

 

As the words flowed out of Scott’s mouth, Tessa sat there listening wholeheartedly and a sense of calm coming over her. The past five years of tension between her and Scott quickly faded, the more she looked to his genuine words. This was a conversation that should have happened a long time ago, a discussion that could have prevented their lack of friendship over the years. She felt content with him, a feeling that hadn’t been quite there since they reconnected back in May.

 

Tessa cleared her throat to speak. “I forgive you, Scott.” She saw his eyes light up at the words coming from her mouth, surprised that it would be that easy for her to accept his apology. “You have become a part of my life again, a part that was I hesitant to accept at first since stuff never was the same between us, and I was scared to see that drunk side of you,” stated Tessa, her hand reaching up to wipe away his tears which only caused her to flow faster. “But I look at you now, and I recognize that you still continue to be that great man I always knew you would become.”

 

Scott smiled, both of his hands finding her wrists, as she lightly brushed the tears away from his face. They stared at each other for minutes, both trying to calm down their emotions that were finally released. It felt as if a weight had been lifted off their shoulders as they addressed one of the elephants in the room, that had its presence the past five years.

 

Tessa slowly removed her hands from Scott’s face, as soon as his tears stopped shyly looking down at her hands that rested in her lap. “Listen, what I said the other day . . . That was too far and out of line for me. You don’t know how sorry I am for what I said.”

 

“Do you really believe that I’m using Ella to fill the void of me not being a father?” He asked, hurt evident in his voice, “because I never meant for it to seem that way. I never meant to overstep my boundaries.”

 

“No, of course not,” immediately replied Tessa. She combed back her hair, letting out a long sigh and shaking her head. “I saw the way Ella responded to you, how she did anything that you asked of her and wouldn’t listen to me. I got jealous, insanely jealous, and panicked that I wasn’t doing my job as a single parent. That I wasn’t being a mother.”

 

“T, that is ridiculous.”

 

She shook her head continuing on, “That sudden pang of jealousy, the irrational thought that I was losing my own daughter, and the unresolved past between us hit me all at once. The emotions clouded my better judgment, and I wasn’t thinking as the words flew out of my mouth. It was horrible and wrong, and you deserve better than that.”

 

“I care about you and your daughter so much, T, that I would do anything to make you happy. So, it hurt when you said that you didn’t need me anymore, it made me feel obsolete and that I did everything wrong. I love Ella, Tess. She is the most beautiful girl in the entire world and now learning that I was supposed to be in her life as her godfather—” He abruptly stopped, pushing back tears at the thought of what could have been. “I realize how much I messed up.”

 

“We both messed up, we both weren’t ourselves. We forgot what we learned about proper communication, about what to say and what not to say to each other. Some may say it was out of character for us,” She half-heartedly laughed, then becoming serious again. “I know you love Ella, Scott, and even though she hasn’t told me I know, she loves you too. That she sees you as a role model, as someone that will give her joy in her life. I don’t think she understands that you might not be forever.”

 

“Why do you keep saying that? I know I messed up by running away to Montréal and refusing to repair things, but why do you think it’ll happen again? This time I know, I’m not leaving yours and Ella’s life, and I’ll be there in whatever capacity you want me to.” Every ounce of honesty poured out of him towards Tessa, in which she perceived correctly.

 

Tessa’s eyes began to get watery at the thought of having Scott back in her life forever. She started imagining what their life would be like, the two of them raising Ella together. Scott would attend every single one of Ella’s dance recitals, making sure to get there early and have the best seats in the house, and he would take her to and from school every day. She saw him making dinner for the two of them, blasting country music every evening, and then curling up with Tessa on the couch with a glass of wine. For the first time since Mark’s passing, she began imagining her and Ella’s future with someone else. Instead this someone else was who she originally envisioned her future with . .  . Scott.

 

But was she ready to move on? Was she willing to honestly let herself go from Mark and move onto someone else? Onto someone from her past?

 

“We may not need you in our life,” started Tessa continuing to make eye contact with Scott, “but we want you in it. We don’t want you ever to leave it.” She found his hand again, weaving her fingers through his own. “I do think that some boundaries need to be established.”

 

“I get that,” nodded Scott.

 

“I’m also sorry for not letting you say goodbye to Ella before I forced you to leave. I was a bad mother right there, letting her believe that you didn’t care about her. That you didn’t love her enough to say goodbye before you left. I was also a bad friend to you for not letting you say goodbye, for kicking you out of my home when I offered it to you for the holidays. I’m sorry, Scott, for how I reacted. I promise that will never happen again.”

 

“I know,” whispered Scott, “come here, T. Come here.” He outreached his arms, immediately letting her fall into his grasp as he hugged her tightly. She nuzzled into the crook of his neck finding her spot from all those years together. Scott rested his cheek on top of her head, rubbing her back as she began quietly crying into him. “This night has been a lot, T, but I know we will continue working through our problems. Because it is us, eh?”

 

“Yeah, it is us. Our beautiful, yet fucked up relationship,” sputtered out Tessa, the perfect mixture of a laugh and a cry. “I’m sorry I kept Ella from you the first three years of her life and the past few days. I didn’t realize how selfish it was until the other day. I feel stupid for this, all of this.”

 

Scott continued rubbing Tessa’s back, feeling her body start trembling as a silent sob escaped her. “Everything is in the past now, Tess. The only thing we can do is move forward and continue fixing this, fixing us. I think you should get some rest.” He pulled away from her, pushing her hair out of her face, then gently wiping the tears from Tessa’s eyes. “Call me tomorrow? We can meet up and maybe continuing working through the boundaries and—”

 

Suddenly he stopped when he heard the howl of the wind begin to rattle the house. Tessa’s eyes widened in a panic, her eyes shooting towards the stairs and listened for Ella. After a moment of silence from the upstairs, Tessa untangled herself from the blanket and Scott on the couch to stand up and peer out the back door. A mixture of snow and ice was pelleting against the windows, coating the ground with a slick sheet of ice. Tessa could barely see towards Scott’s car, frowning as she turned to face him.

 

“I, uh, don’t think you can leave,” she said.

 

“Tess, I’m Canadian. I have driven in plenty of snowstorms before. Remember that drive from Canton to London for the holidays? I handled it like a professional.” He stood up from the couch and wandered over to where Tessa was standing, before immediately freezing when he saw the conditions outside. “Okay, last time I checked they weren’t calling for freak ice.”

 

Tessa giggled.

 

“Alright Mother Nature, I’m up for the challenge,” He stated.

 

Her eyes widened immediately, snatching onto the sleeve of his sweatshirt, halting him in place. “Scott, you are sure as hell not going to drive home in those conditions. You have a room upstairs, with freshly washed sheets, and last time I checked, you brought a backpack filled with clothes.” She eyed the backpack that remained by his boots and discarded jacket, before looking back up at him.

 

“Tess, are you sure? What about Ella? We haven’t—”

 

Tessa clamped her hand over his mouth, cutting him off completely. “Scott, just stay. Don’t worry about Ella. You’re not going to risk your life driving home.”

 

“Okay,” He stated, “I’ll stay.”

 

* * *

 

Scott tossed and turned in the antique bed, rolling his eyes at the faint creak from the old wooden frame as he turned on his side. He was emotionally drained, his thoughts becoming incoherent and jumbled together. He rubbed his face, taking slow and relaxing breaths, happy that Danny gave him the last bit of courage to show up on Tessa’s doorstep unannounced. The entire drive over, regret slowly trickled in, wondering if this would only backfire; he was glad it didn’t. Happy that he got some resolution with Tessa.

 

Sighing he tapped on the home button on his phone, seeing that it was pushing two a.m. How long had he been lying in bed for?  Before yanking back the crisp, freshly washed sheets, he texted his mom to let her know that he wouldn’t be returning home tonight due to the storm. He knew she would make assumptions, but that didn’t bother Scott. Once upon a time it did, but now not so much. His mom knew how he felt towards Tessa and Ella.

 

There was a light knock on his door quickly interrupting his thoughts, as he sat up in bed and turned on the bedside lamp. “Tess?” He said, loud enough so she would hear through the door.

 

The doorknob moved in response, as Tessa peeked her head through the door her cheeks flushed with embarrassment for interrupting him at this hour. Written underneath her disconcerted expression, he knew very well that she couldn’t sleep. The hollow dark circles underneath her eyes, her slightly disheveled hair was an indication that she too had been tossing and turning.

 

“Thoughts keeping you awake even though you’re exhausted?” Scott questioned, already knowing her answer.

 

She nodded, nibbling on the bottom of her lip. Tessa’s hand rested on the doorknob, as her other tentatively wrapped around her waist with her gaze affixed to the floor. Redness seeped from her cheeks onto her neck, as a chill shuttled down her spin. Finally, she looked up to meet Scott’s eyes again, giving him a sheepish grin. “I don’t know why I came here or even assumed you were awake.” Tessa shook her head, continued to be embarrassed. “The thing is I have missed you, missed how things used to be at the point where it was simple.”

 

He blinked at her, then stared at her for quite some time. “Has it ever been simple?”

 

“Those months following PyeongChang were simple. When we were alone, it was just the two of us, and no one else mattered. I was happy, we were happy.” She said, continuing to stand in the doorway. “I know stuff happened for a reason, I don’t regret what happened because I wouldn’t have had Ella—” She paused trying to find the right words to continue.

 

“Tess?” softly spoke Scott, her attention remaining on him. “Do you want to lay down?”

 

She hesitated only momentarily, before leaving the door cracked open and climbing on top of the bed. Tessa settled on top of the covers, lying flat on her back while staring up at the ceiling making sure to maintain some distance from Scott. She didn’t know the last time they lied on the same bed together, let alone sat on the same bed late at night. They both let out a sigh in unison causing Tessa to crack a smile and let out a giggle, running a hand down her face.

 

“How are we still in sync after all of these years?” She rolled her eyes at the thought, before turning her head to look towards Scott.

 

A goofy grin was evident on his face, as he chuckled and shrugged. “I think once you connect with someone that well you can never lose that synchronicity.”

 

Tessa smiled back at him, letting a few minutes pass with silence between the two of them. Both remained deep in their thoughts about the different what-if scenarios, unaware of the heated tension that surrounded both of them in this room. It was already strange enough that they were lying on a bed together, but this bed out of everything. The last time they were on this bed together... both immediately shook those thoughts from their minds knowing that it was best not to travel down that path once more. It would only hurt them.

 

Scott was the first to break the silence, scooting further under the covers to prop himself up on his elbow to gaze at Tessa intently. “I missed you too. I hope we can work all of this out because it kills me to not talk to you like—”

 

“Like how we used to,” whispered Tessa simultaneously completely her sentence. Another chill ran through her body causing her to wrap her arms closer around her body. “I guess I should really fix the draftiness in this room, eh?”

 

Scott laughed, looking over at the bay window and hearing the slight whistle of the wind that rang through the window. “Remember when I pointed that out when we toured this house? I was driving you back from one of your physio lessons, and it was an open house in which you begged me to stop. As soon as you entered this house, you fell in love with it. It needed work, lots of work, but you were so caught up in the charm you didn’t notice the innate draftiness.”

 

Tessa giggled, “this house does continue to have that historical charm does it not?”

 

“It does, I have always loved it here,” said Scott, picking up the comforter. He saw the goosebumps rising on Tessa’s arm letting out a long sigh and shuffling around underneath the sheets. “T, do you want to get under the covers? I can’t stand to see you cold.”

 

She gave him a careful look immediately looking down at her nails. A sweep of nausea plagued her at the thought of it, realizing she hadn’t shared a bed with someone other than Mark and Ella in years. The idea felt surreal to her, mainly because it was with Scott. Yet, at the same time, it didn’t feel strange at all, that her heart told her it would be okay.

 

“Tessa, don’t make it into something it’s not, but in the end, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable,” Scott candidly said. He eyed her carefully, scooting closer to the edge to give her more space.

 

Tessa let out a slow breath, nodding her head and listening to her instinct. This was okay, this was Scott out of all people. She was comfortable around him, and no matter how problematic their past was or how many things they still needed to resolve, she knew that she would feel comfortable and safe. Tessa nodded and climbed off of the bed to yank back the tucked in covers, only to have Scott immediately pulled on them from the opposite side of the bed to create a tent for her to curl up under.

 

She crawled into the bed, making sure to maintain her distance from Scott laying on her side to face him. He let the covers fall down and drape over, as she immediately felt the warmth envelope her and her body to relax. They both stared at each other, taking in this moment, both of their breaths in sync as the covers slowly raised and fell down in each breathe they took. Tessa reached out for Scott’s hand, meeting it halfway never breaking eye contact.

 

He looked towards her hand, staring at her dainty and well-manicured hand. Before outstretching his own to meet hers. Their hands fit together like a missing puzzle piece, their fingers enveloping each other. This handhold felt different than the previous ones the past several months. More intimate, more vulnerable, as if they were slowly regaining that stable trust, care, and love for one another again.

 

“Did you know that I still haven’t watched our final Olympic skate?” admitted Tessa. “Mark watched it, Ella has watched it countless times since she met you, but I can’t look at it. I can’t taint the memory that still runs through my head.”

 

Scott smiled at her giving her a hand a squeeze. “If it makes you feel better, I haven’t either. One of my greatest memories that I can relive, but actively choose not to.” He let out a laugh causing her to giggle in return. “Although, I do wonder. What does Ella think of it?”

 

Tessa widened her eyes and shook her head. “Well, she did wonder why your face was between my legs in that one lift.”

 

That caused Scott to laugh even harder and shake his head. “God, we really were ridiculous when we stated that it was a family-friendly program. Who were we trying to fool?”

 

“The entire world basically,” returned Tessa.

 

The two began recounting memories from their final year skating together, making sure to skip the parts that were filled with unpleasant memories. They repeatedly laughed at memories, happily smiled at the best memories, and even started talking about memories off the ice that was precious to them. Both making sure to stay away from the romantic aspect of things. They lost track of time how long they talked to one another, both starting to get sleepy.

 

Tessa’s eyes drooped closed, as she let out a yawn and snuggled her face closer into the pillow.

 

“You should try to get some sleep, Tess,” said Scott, giving her hand a light squeeze.

 

“That requires moving,” She murmured into the pillow.

 

“You don’t have to move, unless this will be uncomfortable for you,” He whispered.

 

She opened up her eyes slightly and nodded her head while saying, “It’s not, I want to stay.”

 

“I was hoping you would say that,” Scott grinned.

 

“Can you make sure I wake up at a normal time tomorrow? I’m trying to stick to a somewhat normal schedule.” Her words became more slurred as the sleepiness started to come into her system.

 

“Of course I will. Have a good sleep,” Scott whispered to Tessa.

 

He sat up in bed to turn off the light, but as he turned the light switch off, he felt Tessa’s hand touch his arm. The little bit of light creeping through the window was enough to see Tessa’s eyes staring at him, beckoning for him to be closer to her. Scott stared at Tessa intently, before slowly laying back down closer to Tessa than before. He reached out his arm, touching her waist and testing out the waters to see if this was what she really wanted.

 

The touch sent tingles down each of their spines, as the world rested quietly around them. It suddenly became just the two of them again, trapped in their own little world. Their triumphs throughout the years faded and instead the only thing they felt was the sincere care and love they always had for each other.

 

Tessa’s figure shone in the little light in the room and with the touch of Scott’s arm around her, she immediately moved closer to him. The sudden movement caused Scott to run both of his arms around her pulling him closer to her body as her head rested on his chest. Both let out a long sigh, Tessa’s hand lightly resting on his hip.

 

“Goodnight Scott,” She whispered into his sleep shirt.

 

“Goodnight Tutu,” He mumbled, pulling her even closer. Both wrapped in the sensation of finally finding their way to some sort of home again. Before he knew it, his eyelids became fluttering closed, and his thoughts soon began to drift off to sleep. The only thing on his mind being Tess.

 

* * *

 

The sudden howl of the wind shook the entire house, as a sudden drizzle of freezing rain hit the window panes. Scott blinked his eyes slowly open, taking a few seconds to orient himself to his surroundings. The room was mostly dark, apart from the illumination of the streetlights sending glimmers of light from the bay window. He groggily went to change positions, only to suddenly smell the family strawberry scent and perfect curl of a body against his chest, that was breathing steadily with the occasional soft “sigh.” Tessa.

 

His free arm found her hair, stroking away the few strands that clung to her pale, creamy complexion. Scott took in every sight of her, his heart fluttering with her right there with him. He didn’t know what came over both of them several hours ago, after letting out raw emotions from the fight that destroyed them years ago to the fight that found them astray again. But he prevented himself from questioning it, to just enjoy this moment.

 

Scott knew every part of this moment was dangerous, he knew that this moment could result of them backtracking. Yet, he felt the draw Tessa had towards him, the earnest sense of longing for him, as she extended her hand towards him at that moment. She was battling some sort of feeling, a yearning perhaps but holding that part to let herself go entirely. There was Mark, there was her coming to terms with moving on, to start thinking of having another man in her life, and most of all there was that fear of them not working out again. It didn’t work when they were at their best? How could it work after they just came back from their worst?

 

“Mommy?” called a voice down the hallway, the pitter-patter of the feet walking towards the master bedroom. “Mommy the storm woke me up, I’m scared.”

 

Scott’s entire body tensed, as he felt Tessa shift underneath him. Tessa’s mouth was slightly ajar, her breathing deeper, as she continued to sleep through the snowstorm and Ella’s calls. “Oh, Tess. You really are exhausted,” murmured Scott into her hair. He pressed a kiss to Tessa’s temple, before carefully sliding out from under her, deciding to through on a pair of sweatpants over his boxers.

 

He carefully walked out of the room, careful to avoid the creaky floorboards, and saw Ella’s figure walking towards Tessa’s room and calling out for her. His heartbeat quickened, unsure what Ella would think of his sudden reappearance, but the paternal instinct took over. Scott swallowed and walked down the hallway, “Ella, honey, are you okay?”

 

Ella turned around, her eyes widened from the luminescence of the hallway nightlights that Tessa scattered down the hallway, Sir Bunchkins lightly dragged across the floor. “Scott? What are you doing here?” She ran towards him, her arms outreached, to quickly meet Scott crouching on the ground. Her face buried into his chest immediately, her small arms wrapping around his neck tightly, as she smiled into him. “I knew you would come back.”

 

“Of course, kiddo. Sorry for leaving without saying goodbye, but I can promise you that will never happen again.”

 

Ella pulled away and smiled, before rubbing her eyes and pulling Sir Bunchkins close to her chest. “Where’s Mommy? I need her, it is scary outside.”

 

“Come with me, your Mommy and I were up late talking and fell asleep.” He scooped up a willing Ella in his arms and began walking down the hallway once more.

 

“Did you two say sorry to each other? So, no more fight?” whispered Ella.

 

“No more fights,” replied Scott softly, “we will talk more about this in the morning, okay?”

 

He walked Ella towards the bed and gently placed her between him and Tessa, with Ella shifting under the covers to scoot closer to Tessa. Out of instinct, in her sleep, Tessa wrapped an arm around Ella with Ella sighing into her mother’s arms. Scott laid on his side smiling at the scene unfold, a longing for this to be his new forever. If the conversation and bed sharing were any indication about the future, then it would be nothing but positive. He loved Tessa, he loved Ella, and he loved the thought of being with them forever.

 

“Scott?” whispered Ella, her eyes blinking slowly as she clutched Sir Bunchkins to her chest. “I have a question for you.”

 

“What is it?” He whispered back to her, meeting Tessa’s daughter's bright green eyes.

 

“Will you be my new daddy?”

 

His heart fluttered, as he heard the words come from Ella’s mouth. Scott felt selfish for wanting to listen to those words, for wanting Ella to see him as a father figure, but also a sense of guilt. Mark. The one-person Tessa dated that he genuinely liked, that accepted the weird dynamic between Scott and Tessa, who was a great man to Tessa and an even greater dad to Ella. It hurt that Mark wouldn’t see Ella grow up to become the phenomenal person that she was destined to become. He didn’t want to replace Mark, he couldn’t replace Mark.

 

As he stared at the little girl filled with questions and wonder, he knew that he needed to speak from the heart. “Not right now,” whispered Scott, “but I hope that maybe one day I can.”

 

“Are you going ever to leave us?”

 

“Remember what I promised you at the park that one day?” asked Scott.

 

Ella nodded.

 

“What did I tell you?”

 

“That you will always be here for me and Mommy,” replied Ella.

 

Scott nodded and gave Ella a small grin, reaching out to encompass her little hands. “Right and I can still promise you, that I’m not going anywhere. That your mommy doesn’t want me to go anywhere either.”

 

“Good because I like how you make her smile. That you make her forget about Daddy dying.”

 

Scott’s heart clenched hearing those words from Ella causing him to move closer to her, which caused both Tessa and Scott to engulf Ella closely by them. “I love making her laugh. I promise I will do my best to fill her life with more laughs than tears. Now, let’s try to get back to bed, eh? Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.”

 

Ella nodded her head and adjusted her position in the bed, one of her hands intertwining with Scott’s fingers. Scott’s free arm reached out to wrap around Tessa’s hips, as the three slept curled up together on the bed. He felt guilty, but at the same time, he never felt so free in his life.

 

As Ella and Scott soon drifted off to sleep, Tessa fluttered her eyes open and smiled at the scene in front of her. She heard that entire conversation, every part of it. She smirked at the lack of boundaries that were established today, a part of her suddenly not caring about the boundaries after hearing where Scott stood and what he wanted. It gave her that sense of confidence and trust back in him, that he wanted more than anything to be a part of their lives. And oh, how that part of her wanted more than anything for Scott to be Ella’s father one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this gives a better insight into why Tessa reacted the way she did near the end of their fight. The end of this chapter and the next chapter will continue to be the repairing phase for the relationships between all three main characters. This will be the next stage in the story, as they continue repairing themselves. 
> 
> Anyways, that is all I have to say before you leave a comment about any of the character’s and how they responded, I would encourage you to think about the emotions and the sides of these characters that we haven’t seen before. I'm truly sorry if once again this chapter caused upset.
> 
> Thank you to my two beta readers for this chapter, I couldn't have mentally done this without you. Thank you to everyone who took their time to leave a comment the previous chapter. I read them all, but didn't have the time to respond to them. Your feedback means a lot. And thank you for the support and hopefully patience with me.


	13. Not Ready to Leave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa and Scott's relationship continues to grow, amidst Ella getting excited about Christmas. An unexpected surprise in Montreal changes Scott's life

Sunlight began slowly lighting up the drafty room in the Virtue household causing the three people in the bed to all stir slightly, with Scott's eyes being the only set to open. His eyes wearily blinked at Ella, who managed to make her way on top of his chest in the night. Her mouth was slightly ajar, her cheeks firmly pressed against his sleep shirt, as her chest let out slow, deep breathes. Scott smiled at Ella, gently lifting one of his arms to lightly run it down her back, before smoothing down her messy curls.

 

He looked over to the side of him after feeling another light stir, to find Tessa pressed firmly up against his side. Her fingers laced through his, while her other hand rested on Ella's arm. Scott took in the entirety of this moment, memorizing every nuance, so he would never forget how it felt to be here. Love, care, trust, and respect radiated from the Virtue girls into him, making himself feel as though he finally found that missing puzzle piece to his life. Scott wanted this forever, but the only thing he could do from here on out was hope. Hope that one day they could truly be together.

 

Scott didn't know how long he laid there in bed staring dozing in and out of a light sleep until Tessa's eyes fluttered open, immediately meeting his own. A smile spread across her face, moving closer to him, kissing his shoulder, and then finding herself lightly tracing her fingertips across Ella's face, to get the last bit of hair away.

 

"Morning," whispered Tessa, the smile never fading from her face, when her gaze moved back up to Scott's.

 

He gave her a crooked smile, before leaning down far enough to place a kiss on top of Tessa's head. "Morning, Tess," He murmured into her hair that still possessed the faintest smell of strawberries.

 

They stared at each other for a while, before Tessa unlocked their fingers and diverted her attention towards Ella who remained peacefully sleeping on Scott's chest. It reminded Tessa about the fussy stage Ella went through several years ago, that resulted in a sleep-deprived and frustrated Tessa during late hours at night. It wasn't until Mark grabbed Ella and cradled her in his protective hold against his chest did Ella settle. He became her protector; the person and place Ella would always migrate when she was scared or sad.

 

Seeing Ella instinctively crawling up to Scott in the night, laying how she did with Mark, made filled Tessa's heart with mixed emotions. The thought of moving on from Mark, from letting herself love someone and accept him into her family used to be daunting, but observing this moment unfold in her eyes she realized it could be possible. And even more, oddly enough, Tessa was okay with it. Ella deserved to have another protector, and from the loving look, Scott gave Ella she knew that he would fill that void.

 

"I see Ella managed to sneak her way up on you in the night," said Tessa, snuggling herself into Scott's shoulder.

 

An alarmed look immediately spread on Scott's face.

 

Tessa continued, "She does that to people that she knows she is safe with, to people that she trusts." Tessa began running her hand through Ella's hair, staring at her daughter.

 

"So much for being more cautious about boundaries," stifled Scott, securing his arms tighter around Ella, as if he was afraid that the moment would end. He swallowed, the sense of needing to explain himself increasing. "When she woke up last night, you were sound asleep and so peaceful. I didn't want to disturb you and thought that—"

 

"Don't worry about it," whispered Tessa, "I trust you. I know that you aren't going to leave us, Scott."

 

"Even after everything in the past? Even after what happened at the bar?" His eyes glistened at her.

 

Tessa continued giving him a soft smile, "Yeah I do. The bar was an anomaly for us and how we communicate. An anomaly that we should have not run from for years . . . I wonder how different our lives would be if we didn't give up."

 

Scott bobbed his head slowly. "My grandpa always told me, everything happens for a reason, even if the reason is never brought to light."

 

His eyes flickered into Tessa's, her breathe finally catching as she propped herself up on her elbow. The uncertainty of how to reply to Scott's statement clouded her face, a part of her wanting more than ever to agree to it. Although, how could she justify that Mark's death was always supposed to happen? That it was destiny and not a fluke? It was the part that held her back, that held her back from accepting that this was fate. Perhaps, Scott was always meant to be her fate.

 

She swallowed back at the thought, shaking the thoughts away and shifting her attention towards Ella. Ella moved slightly on Scott's chest, only for her hand to clutch onto his sleep shirt causing Scott to hold her closer.

 

"When do you think we should wake her up?" questioned Scott, his gaze fixed on the little girl.

 

Tessa smiled lovingly at Ella. "We should soon," She responded, her hands lightly running lines down Ella's back. "She just looks so peaceful . . . sometimes I feel like a monster waking her up in the morning."

 

Scott softly let out a chuckle. "What is with the Virtue girls and their lack of waking up in the morning?"

 

"I have gotten better," chided Tessa, nudging Scott in his arms and shifting to hover over him. "If I recall correctly, there were several occasions where I was up before you this past week preparing Ella for school."

 

He rolled his eyes. "Well, there is a first for everything. How many times did I have to drag you out of bed for practice in Montreal? I swear you got stronger holding the sheets over your head, to block out the light and the reality of getting up for practice." Scott moved one of his hands off of Ella to teasingly poke her.

 

"Oh, be quiet Scott. You know you enjoyed the game of who would give in first in the morning. Some mornings I was close to keeping the sheets over my head—" giggled Tessa.

 

"But I always won," replied Scott, mischievousness lurking in the depths of his face. "In all honesty, I did let you sleep in till the last minute, and you did master the getting ready in five minutes routine."

 

Tessa giggled recalling her and Scott's master plan they developed for morning practices.

 

* * *

 

_Scott walked into their newly shared apartment in Montreal, with a pen, notepad, and look of determination on his face. It was a Sunday night, and Tessa watched the evening news while folding up their pile of laundry, that only consisted of gym clothes and skating clothes. Her gaze was affixed to the TV and in a robot-like manner was onto sorting and folding their array of socks._

_"Someone successfully got out of laundry night," called Tessa, amusement dancing on her tongue, "although you are just in time to help me make up the bed with the freshly washed sheets. You know I struggle to get the fitted sheet on the king-sized bed."_

_He didn't reply, but instead kicked off his shoes and hung up his coat on the hook, before making his way towards the living room space. The purpose of the inevitable conversation on his mind, knowing that it was something that needed to be addressed sooner rather than later._

_They locked eyes, as he sat on the coffee table, blocking her view. Her eyes widened slightly when she finished folding a pair of his socks, her lips pressed together tightly, and her expression became increasingly perplexed._

_"We need to talk," said Scott._

_Tessa's heart immediately began racing, as she moved the pile of socks to the empty hamper and sat back in the couch. She felt the tension in every muscle of her body, her lungs constricting the air flow, and her skin becoming paler than usual. "Scott, I don't understand. I thought we were happy, that this is what we wanted. Are you not happy with me?"_

_He blinked at her, suddenly becoming confused himself. "Wait, what?"_

_"You said that we needed to talk."_

_"Yeah, we do. This is a serious problem that needs to be worked out and addressed. Communication is key, remember everything JF has taught us?" He gestured to the notepad, meeting her eyes that were beginning to water up. He frowned, becoming more concerned at the tears pooling in the corners of Tessa's eyes. "Tess, what's wrong?"_

_She opted not to respond._

_"Tess, I'm just trying to figure out a way for you to have the easiest time getting up in the morning for practice. I know you hate discussing your lack of mornings, but we should have a plan. A plan that will make you in the best frame of mind when—" He stopped when he saw her suddenly clutching her mouth and giggling. The giggle that started out faint and continued to grow, before she was buckled over clutching her stomach._

_"You almost gave me a heart attack," Tessa said between laughs._

_He stared lost at her actions._

_"You idiot, I thought you were going to break up with me."_

_"What? Fuck no," He said, "I just came here to make a list with you of things that will make it easier. Why did you—" Suddenly it made sense to him, only causing him to flush and place his hand on the nape of his neck out of embarrassment. "Oh shit, I wasn't thinking."_

_Tessa's giggles continued, "yeah, you kind of weren't."_

_He let out of a groan. "Okay remind me to never start off a list-making conversation with that ever again. Got it?"_

_"Got it," She smiled, her finger gesturing for him to come closer to her._

_As soon as he was nearby, she gave him a sweet kiss, her hands on either side of his cheeks. She pulled back and stared at him, her jade eyes glistening while she shook her head. He smiled back at her, his own hands lightly finding her wrists as he stared at her before giving her a light kiss on the nose._

_"I love you," She whispered to him._

_"I love you too, T. Always."_

 

* * *

 

"Do you remember the list still?" asked Tessa amusingly.

 

"The ‘How to Wake Tessa Virtue for Practice?' list? Of course, I do, I had to commit that thing to memory. I could still do the routine today if I had to. Number one was that you needed to pack your skate bag and set out your clothes the night before."

 

"And you were in charge of preparing the B2Ten practice smoothies the night before and putting the coffee in our traveling mugs that morning," continued Tessa, "and somehow I got the lucky benefit of sleeping in an extra fifteen minutes."

 

 "It was never a big deal for me. In all honesty, I loved waking you up and wrestling the covers out from your grip. Although, there were many mornings where I just wanted to go back to bed and sleep next to you." Scott's face immediately reddened at the statement, before clearing his throat and awkwardly stirring his body from underneath Ella.

 

The slight movement from Scott caused Ella to stir. She yawned and began rubbing her eyes, before sleepily opening them to immediately meet Tessa's. "Hi Mommy," She hummed, nuzzling her head into Scott's chest some more. "Do I have to wake up?"

 

Tessa giggled, stroking Ella's hair. "If you don't wake up then we can't do our Christmas Eve traditions, can we? I don't think Santa will come if you sleep all day and don't put his milk and cookies out."

 

Ella immediately sat up on Scott's chest, a broad smile spreading on her face at the excitement about Christmas coming. It took Ella awhile to comprehend who was underneath her until she broke her gaze from her mother's and met Scott's. The smile amplified on Ella's face, as her legs dangled from either side of Scott. Her hands began drumming on Scott's chest excitedly. "Scott! Did you hear? Santa is coming tonight."

 

Scott chuckled and nodded his head. "Of course, I heard! I'm just as excited for Santa to come. You, munchkin, were too busy crushing me in your sleep while we waited for the excitement to begin for the day."

 

Ella giggled, "I wasn't crushing you. Are you celebrating with us?" She glanced over at Tessa, whose eyes immediately clouded over as she began fidgeting with the bed sheet and was nibbling on her lower lip. "Oh, are you leaving us? How is Rufus? I miss him. Can we skate before you go home?" She continued asking questions, her thought of celebrating Christmas with the three of them quickly leaving her mind causing both Tessa and Scott to breathe a sigh of relief.

 

Neither quite knew what to make of this situation right now, especially what it would mean. To Scott's knowledge, he would leave after breakfast, returning home to his family and celebrating with them. That was the plan, the plan before their fight several days ago. Except, there was a pull in him, a pull that wanted to stay with them. To have Christmas with them, but he knew it shouldn't happen. It was that adjustment period, for Tessa and Ella to have another holiday without Mark.

 

"Woah, slow down, sweetheart. Those are a lot of questions Scott can't answer all at once," giggled Tessa, she reached over and began tickling Ella's sides causing her to stop babbling about questions and let out squeals of delight.

 

"No tickle monster, Mommy. No!" She giggled through each tickle.

 

Tessa looked at Scott, her eyebrow slightly rising and suggesting joining the fun. Scott grinned and began tickling Ella's bare feet causing the room to be filled with laughs from all three people.  She squirmed and wiggled off Scott's chest to land in the middle of the bed, perfectly between Tessa and Scott. They continued tickling her, all of them laughing before Scott felt the familiar feeling in the bed. As if it was a slight form of déjà vu, with the way the bed began sinking in the middle with Ella wrestling away from the tickling.

 

"Uh, Tess," was all Scott could muster out before the "new" wooden support of the bed frame gave out causing Tessa and Ella to let out a scream as the mattress hit the ground.

 

Tessa and Ella looked alarmingly around, as Scott let out a groan as he slid out of the slightly tilted mattress. He ran a hand through his somewhat unruly hair, before pacing back and forth and trying to calm his temper. He met Tessa's eyes, then glanced at Ella who was giggling and saying how they needed to do it again.

 

"Tess, I really hate this bed," His tongue clicked at the words.

 

Amusement spread across Tessa's face, causing both Tessa and Scott to join in with Ella's laughter. Tessa nodded her head repeatedly understanding the point Scott was trying to get across. She gave Ella one more tickle before the two Virtue girls climbed out of bed with Ella looked at the bed laughing.

 

"Mommy is this why you tell me we shouldn't jump on beds?"

 

"I guess you can say that," said Tessa amusement dancing in her face, "how about you go pick out your clothes for today? Remember that Christmas sweater you have?"

 

Ella nodded and skipped out of the room, making up a ridiculous song about the bed breaking to leave Scott and Tessa staring at each other. Once he knew Ella was out of sight, he let out a prolonged sigh and stared at the bed.

 

"Do you understand why I really fucking hate this bed? The concept is there, but clearly, the engineering is absent." He pointed towards the split wood that was peering out from underneath the mattress.

 

Tessa continued laughing, her intoxicating giggle filling Scott's head only causing him to smile at her in return. "Fine, the bed is going back to be—"

 

Scott groaned, "Tessa Jane if you say repair, me and you will have some serious problems. This bed is unsafe, no matter how you try to play it."

 

She stuck out her tongue childishly at him. "Fine, the bed is gone for good."

 

"I'll personally take it apart and bring it to the dumpster."

 

Tessa just laughed and walked out of the room leaving Scott alone with the mess. He shook his head and began moving the mattress off the split wood in the frame, muttering curse words about the entire bed. He wondered why he never put up a better fight about the broken bed after the first time, but also remembered that he never had to sleep there. That his room was down the hallway, that his place was curled up in Tessa's king-sized bed in a hotel-like atmosphere. This was what their lives together amounted to.

 

He poked the smooth part of the bed frame, grinning foolishly. "You're lucky I love you so much, T."

 

* * *

 

"What are you doing?" exclaimed Tessa, emerging from her bedroom finally deciding it was time to change out of pajamas and into leggings and an oversized sweatshirt. Her face was freshly washed, with no trace of makeup, while her hair remained pulled up in a messy top-knot making Scott's heart flutter at sight. This was his favorite look on Tessa, her carefree appearance, that made her even more stunningly beautiful.

 

Scott stood quietly in front of the door to Tessa's room, sheepishly holding a toolbox in one hand and a saw in another. Scott meant what he said when he told Tessa he would disassemble that disastrous bed, especially considering there was split wood scattered throughout the room. Which Scott kept saying, when making breakfast, it was just beckoning for splinters to happen, and that he would not help Tessa yank the splinter out of Ella's foot (okay, that was a lie, of course, he would help if needed).

 

"You really loathe that bed. I thought you were joking about disassembling it. I was going to call Kevin or Casey to help me with it, but you didn't—" She beckoned towards the tools in Scott's hands, before giggling and covering her face with her sweater. "Oh, Scott, do you need help? I feel awful having you do that alone, considering I made you sleep on that thing."

 

Scott flushed and shook his head. "No, I'm fine on my own, don't worry about it. I mean, it is something to do while I wait for the roads to clear and before we go outside with Ella."

 

The winter storm last night left a mixture of snow and ice on that heavily coated the streets, sidewalks, and driveways, continuing to make the driving conditions poor. The inches of snow on Tessa's driveway and covering Scott's car was another thing that needed to be rectified. Snow tires weren't enough, especially with the sheet of ice underneath the snow that the sun slowly melted.

 

"Well, may I watch?" Tessa casually strolled from the room to stand closer to Scott, her warm hand touching his forearm. "Maybe talk a little more, about . . . well, last night and everything."

 

Scott's flush grew more profound, as he gulped and nodded his head affirmatively.

 

The two walked into the room, seeing the mess on the ground. He gently placed the toolbox and saw on the ground wandering over to the mattress he moved aside and began pushing it further away from the dismantled bedframe. Gesturing for Tessa to sit on the mattress, before running a hand through his lengthened locks and began to unscrew part of the bed frame.

 

They sat in silence for a while but comforted by each other's presence despite the silence. Ella was downstairs playing with her dollhouse and watching Christmas movies, happy in her own little world. Although it surprised both Tessa and Scott that Ella lacked commenting about the three of them sharing a bed, mainly because she was four and was one to never hold back her comments. Then again, she was only four, and her attention span did bounce around quite significantly.

 

"Last night meant a lot to me just so you know," started out Tessa slowly.

 

Scott dropped one of the tools carefully to the ground and turned around to find her eyes. Before moving his focus back on the bed, trying not to remain calm.

 

"You have no obligation to us, Scott, I realize that. Yet, you have shown your dedication to Ella, and I can't thank you enough," continued Tessa. "I just want you to know that if you ever want out, ever find someone else in your life that you want to start a family with that, it is okay. That me and Ella will okay, even though I don't want that to happen." The last part she muttered under her breathe, picking at her nails.

 

Scott soon found himself sitting on the edge of the mattress, his arms draped over his knees. "Tess, I know you are scared I'm going to leave, I know this thought is on your mind, but—"

 

"No, it isn't a fear of you leaving. I know you won't leave, but more or less me wondering why you are choosing us over finding a family of your own. We aren't anything more than friends, Scott. You really want to—"She stopped swallowing and shaking her head.

 

"Did I ever tell you I went on a date back in Montreal? It was this past fall, Sam set me up with her. To say that the date was disastrous is an understatement. It was horrible from the second I step foot into the restaurant."

 

Tessa raised an eyebrow at him curiously.

 

He continued, "I'm not looking to date anyone, Tess. I spent how many years trying to find someone that would get me, get us, and it didn't work out. It is exhausting to find someone that gets me, that accepts me for who I am. So, me finding someone before you find someone is unlikely."

 

"What makes you think I'll want to go on the dating scene? That is even more daunting for me," stated Tessa. "Widowed so young and I have a kid, which makes matters even more complicated. I would have to find somehow that not only accepts me, accepts our friendship, but also accepts Ella and can love Ella completely."

 

They stared at each other, letting the moments of silence overtake their emotions. Both knew that they wanted each other, but it was only a matter of time to make that more well known. Although, both lived in fear of being together again and ruin their new friendship, their new understanding of each other. What if it would all go to waste? What would happen to Ella if it didn't end up working out? Then there was the breakup, the breakup that neither wanted to talk about.

 

"Right now, I only need you and Ella to make myself feel complete," stated Tessa, "and I'm sorry it took me months to say that. Months to let you know that I value you, that I want you here. I took you for granted the other day, and I'm sorry."

 

Scott wrapped an arm around Tessa, pulling her close to his side. She immediately eased her tension that pooled in her shoulders and rested her head on his shoulder. They stared at the bed frame that now became large pieces, both recalling every memory that occurred in this room. Tessa let out a sigh, burying her face further into his shoulder, shuddering at the touch of his fingers trickling down her arm.

 

"I forgive you, Tess. I think the only thing we can do is accept the past and move forward. I'll be there for you in whatever capacity you need me to be and with whatever boundaries you want with Ella."

 

"Boundaries were nonexistent last night," half-laughed Tessa, her eyes gleaming up at him.

 

"I'm sorry about last night. I should have woken you up and let you take care of it, but you were so peaceful I couldn't bother you. Right after our fight and I do that." Scott nervously weaved his fingers through his hair.

 

Tessa lifted her head off his shoulder and smiled at him. She intertwined her hand with his.  "Don't be, I would have done the same thing. Last night was the best sleep I have had since Mark passed away, and I never want you to be sorry."

 

He pressed a kiss to her temple, before staring back at the mess. The silence in the overall street was quickly interrupted when he heard the distinctive sound of the snowplows on the roads, with the salt truck following closely behind. He glanced at the time on his phone, frowning upon knowing that he should get going in the next two hours before the Moir traditions kicked off.

 

"Tess?"

 

"Mhmm?" She murmured into his shoulder after her head found its spot again.

 

"How about we wrap this up and surprise your little girl with playing in the snow before I have to leave?"

 

She grinned. "I think that is a great idea."

 

* * *

 

Christmas morning came faster than expected, with Tessa being woken up by Ella flinging herself on the bed screaming that there were presents found underneath the tree. Tessa smiled at her daughter, immediately responding by tapping Ella's nose and climbing out of bed to go to the bathroom and put on her fuzzy, white robe. "Just a minute, sweetheart, then we can go down and see what Santa brought you."

 

As Tessa was washing her hands, she stared in the mirror, her heart feeling suddenly empty at the thought of Mark not being here. Scott leaving after lunch yesterday was hard enough, on top of Mark not being around to help her after Ella went to sleep. Mark and Tessa devised a solid plan of who would place the presents under the tree, who would respond to Ella's picture, and who would eat the cookies and milk. Mark was always in charge of eating the cookies and returning the note, while Tessa stuffed the stockings and organized the presents under the tree. Yet, this year it hurt to be the only Santa.

 

She had called Scott later that night, long after she curled up into bed after making Christmas magic happen downstairs. Cried over the phone about how she thought it would be okay without Mark, but it sucked. Followed by a whirlwind explanation of her and Mark's tradition with Ella since she was a newborn. Scott listened intently on the other side of the phone, changing rooms away from his family upon hearing her cracked voice over the phone. His entire body wanting to be with her more than ever.

 

"Can I come over tomorrow?" Scott had suggested to her over the phone. "Tomorrow morning before we get busy with our families. I—I want to see you and Ella, T."

 

Tessa barely had to think before she agreed to it, and now as she looked at her reflection in the mirror, she thought about her vulnerable moment. The sudden desire to be wrapped in Scott's arms again, to hear his velvety voice, to feel his soothing touch against her skin. She was falling for him again with each passing day. Slowly coming to terms with the idea of moving on, to creating a life with someone that wasn't Mark. To Scott, the boy that took over her heart at a young age. The man who continued to be great despite his flawed moments. The man who loved Ella the way she did.

 

She swallowed and quickly wrapped her bathrobe tightly around herself, before stepping into her slippers and out of her bathroom to find Ella eagerly playing with her stuffed rabbit. Happiness and eagerness danced in Ella's movements, especially when Ella found Tessa's hand adamantly dragged her across the room to go downstairs for the presents to the point where Tessa barely had time to stow away her phone in her robe.

 

"Mommy, Santa left presents for us. See?" said Ella, upon entering the living room off of the front door. Ella ran over to where the stockings hung on the chimney and then over to the tree that was stuffed with presents underneath, several gifts that Scott helped Tessa do last minute wrapping on yesterday. Tessa smiled and walked over to the fireplace, before flipping the switch to turn it on while seeing Ella sink to her knees and stare at all of the presents.

 

"Well, stockings or tree first?" asked Tessa sitting next to Ella.

 

"Hmm tree," said Ella.

 

Tessa smiled and found a present for Ella under the tree, handing it towards her to open up. Without any caution, Ella began ripping the paper off the gift and gasping at seeing some pretend food for her kitchen playset. She hugged the box and then turned to hug Tessa tightly, saying that she loved it repeatedly.

 

This continued to be the same pattern, and soon enough the presents were shrinking in number underneath the tree. At one point, Tessa managed to sneak away to the kitchen to brew herself a cup of coffee only to return with a puzzled look on Ella's face as she held an unopened present. Tessa curled up on the couch and gave Ella a curious look, beckoning for her to come over.

 

"Mommy, I think Santa messed up. Look!" Her little finger traced over the written label that had Scott's name written on the top. The letter "S" distinguishable enough where Ella knew it wasn't meant for her or Tessa. "Whose is this?"

 

Tessa bit her lip and took the present from Ella's hands. "Oh, this is for Scott. I guess Santa thought he might be around."

 

"Oh, is he coming?" questioned Ella.

 

Right on cue, there was a knock at the front door which caused Ella's eyes to immediately widen. The pitter-patter of her feet echoed as she ran towards the front door, peering out the window and then yanking it open. Tessa stood in the distance, grinning at Ella's widened eyes as Scott stood in the doorway with a grin on his face.

 

"Merry Christmas, kiddo!" He boomed, causing a shriek to echo from Ella's mouth. He crouched down immediately, wrapping her in his arms, before standing up and smiling at Tessa in the doorway. "Merry Christmas, T."

 

"Merry Christmas, Scott," replied Tessa, her eyes dazzling at him.

 

Ella took ahold of Scott's hand, jumping up and down as he took off his winter boots, hat, and coat. "Scott, come see what Santa brought me!" She announced dutifully dragging him towards the living room whose floor was scattered with wrapping paper. "Cooking stuff for my kitchen!" Ella eagerly snatched up some of the cooking toys, proudly showing it off to Scott.

 

He grinned widely before he turned towards Tessa and wrapped an arm around her to press a kiss into her hairline. "How late were you up getting this all ready?"

 

"Nothing too peculiar," She smiled back at him. "You're here earlier than I expected. The nieces and nephews had a new record for their wake up?"

 

"Of course. They are a ball full of energy, I'm not sure how Charlie and Danny can handle them all the time," laughed Scott.

 

He sat down next to Tessa on the couch, his arm naturally wrapping around her shoulders, as Ella made her way over to Scott with the present underneath the tree. Wordlessly, Ella climbed onto Tessa's lap and faced Scott handing him the present. Scott looked down at it, before glancing over at Tessa who was smiling. "Did Santa bring this for me?"

 

Ella nodded enthusiastically. "Open it, Scott. Santa knew you would come."

 

He looked at Tessa surprised, knowing that she was the one who placed the present under the tree. Neither one of them ever did presents for holidays or birthdays, at least not in the past. There were the occasional gifts scattered throughout the year, but never anything over the top. In the past it was for them to be together, to create memories again. That was the only gift they ever needed.

 

Tessa wrapped her arms tightly around Ella, beckoning Scott to unwrap.

 

"Do you want to help me get the paper off, Ella?" He asked her.

 

Ella nodded enthusiastically reaching over to help Scott begin ripping off the bow and paper. The three of them sat closely together, Tessa's heart filled with joy. The fire was on, there was hot chocolate on the coffee table, and Ella was happy with every gift she received. She missed Mark, she wished he was here, but having Scott year was enough too. It was more than enough, especially when he took his time away from his own family to be with them.

 

Underneath the wrapping paper was a box, that Scott carefully lifted the lid up to. To only be blown away by the photograph inside. Surrounded by a dark, mahogany frame was a picture of the three of them at the rink in Gadbois. It was the day Ella first learned how to skate, with Scott holding Ella in his arms, a massive grin on his face, as Ella pointed towards something off the photo. Tessa stood next to Scott, her arm looped through one of his and was smiling towards Marie-France who randomly took the picture. They looked happy, incredibly happy, and it appeared that they were a family.

 

"That's us!" squealed Ella.

 

Scott gazed down at it, his thumb tracing the picture before looking towards Tessa. He swallowed back his emotions, his eyes telling her how touched he was from the gift. He stared back down at the picture recalling the day that changed everything for him. To have Tessa on the ice again with him, to teach this little girl he adored how to skate, and to realize that his connection with Tessa never truly faded.

 

"Yeah, that is us. Santa must have a way of getting those pictures, eh?" He said to Ella. He reached over and ran his hand through her hair messily. "I got you something too, kiddo. You ready to open it?"

 

Ella clapped her hands together. "Yes, please!"

 

He placed the frame on the coffee table, before grabbing the gifts near the front door. Scott returned shortly, holding out the larger present to Ella who enthusiastically bounced on Tessa's lap. She began ripping open the paper immediately, hastily discarding it on the ground and couch causing Tessa to laugh.

 

Underneath the wrapping paper was another set of pretend food, but this time it was for outdoor grilling. In addition to the hamburgers and hot dogs, there were also steaks, potatoes, and asparagus food and some grilling tools. A smile lit up Ella's face, as she looked at Tessa first and then back at Scott.

 

"How did you know that I wanted this?" asked Ella.

 

"I may have had a secret helper," Scott said, winking at Tessa which caused her face to redden.

 

"What do you say to Scott, sweetheart?" asked Tessa, lightly pinching Ella's arms.

 

"I love it, Scott! Thank you!" She said, immediately putting the box next to Tessa on the couch and launching herself towards Scott. Her small arms wrapped around his neck, as she placed a kiss on his cheek. "Now I just need to ask for a pretend grill for my birthday."

 

Scott chuckled and hugged Ella back, peering over his shoulder at Tessa. She smiled and began crumbling up some of the wrapping paper, before adjusting her warm bathrobe and standing up knowing what was coming next. When Ella was distracted playing outside in the snow, Scott had snuck downstairs to the basement to assemble the pretend grill in her play area in the basement. The grill that Scott insisted that Tessa would get to go along with Ella's playset when they were shopping in the mall a couple days ago.

 

"Well, how about we take your food downstairs to your kitchen set? Maybe you can make us something before Scott leaves?" suggested Tessa.

 

Ella slid off Scott's lap, enthusiastically grabbing some of the food boxes. Scott stood up and helped Tessa grab some of the remaining items, as the three of them began heading towards the basement. Ella led the way, making sure to take her time and not slip down the wooden stairs. As she rounded the corner towards her kitchen set, she immediately dropped her items and let out a squeal.

 

"A grill?" She raced over towards the grill, where Scott put an obnoxiously large bow on and began jumping up and down. Her hands grabbed onto the fake knobs, and she opened and closed the lid. "It can go with my kitchen! Mommy and Daddy look!"

 

Daddy.

 

Tessa didn't dare look over at Scott, suddenly feeling her face pale from hearing the word. The word that could change everything, that made Tessa's lung constrict at the sound of hearing that name again. It was something significant that set the groundwork for yet another conversation between the three of them. A something that made Tessa's mind immediately begin to spin, her heart began to lightly flutter at the sentiment, but also ached knowing that Mark was no longer on Earth to be Ella's "Daddy."

 

Standing closely next to Tessa was Scott, who had conflicted thoughts swirling in his mind. Did Ella really call him that? It was the word that Scott dreamed of being referred to as for years. The word that echoed from the lips of Tessa's daughter, the daughter his heart completely fell for. The daughter that saw him more as a friend, that wanted him to be with them more than he was. He didn't know if he should laugh or cry in this situation, or correct Ella for the matter. So, he did the only thing he could of doing and moved forward not daring to meet eyes with Tessa.

 

He walked over to Ella, immediately crouching down and started talking to her about the grill set. His hand found the small of Ella's back, as she continued gleaming at her new toy. "Want to know who gave you that, kiddo?" Scott whispered to Ella, knowing that Tessa still stood several feet away observing this.

 

"Who?"

 

"Your Mommy. Why don't you go thank her while I help get your new food items out of their packaging?" Scott pointed towards Tessa, who still continued to be frozen and processing the words Ella just spoke to him.

 

Ella nodded eagerly, before scurrying away towards Tessa and thanking her repeatedly. Scott immediately got to work, emptying out the packages of miscellaneous content, and organizing it in Ella's play pantry. Ella and Tessa were nearby playing with the grill set, with Ella already pretending to cook something. Scott soon joined them, telling Ella to cook steak and potatoes for them to have together.

 

Both Tessa and Scott lost track of time as they played together in Ella's designated kitchen set in the basement. Exhausted and worn out, they found themselves sitting against one of the walls, watching her play in the distance. Surrounding the small kitchen table were various dolls and stuffed animals, that she kept making meals for or pretending that they were employees in her kitchen. Not to mention the multitude of times she kept rearranging the food in her kitchen set to make sure it was perfect.

 

"If she feeds those stuffed animals one more meal I think they will explode," laughed Scott.

 

"Oh, Sir Bunchkins is used to it by now. She was stuffing him since the minute I gave her that kitchen set for her birthday," replied Tessa, shaking her head at the memory. "Thank you, for all of this today. I think you made this little girl's Christmas even brighter."

 

He smiled staring at Ella boss around her stuffed animals. "She's a remarkable kid, Tess. I can only imagine the great things she will be doing in the future because of your influence." Scott's hand daringly reached over to touch the top of Tessa's, his fingers rubbing the top of her hand for only a few seconds before Tessa laced her fingers through his.

 

"Thank you for helping me set up the grill and getting her that present. You didn't need to do that for her," whispered Tessa.

 

He grinned crookedly at her. "Well, if she is going to play then she should be making my favorite meal. Steak and potatoes are a staple, especially in the Moir household."

 

Tessa giggled.

 

"Thank you for the gift, T. I didn't even know a picture like that existed, it's beautiful."

 

Tessa suddenly felt shy in her response, "you're welcome." She used her free hand to touch her flushed cheek, before clearing her throat and swallowing to look over at Ella. "It is one of my favorite photos ever, to be honest. The three of us look happy . . . We look as if nothing bad has ever happened to us. That we are a family."

 

Scott squeezed her delicate hand unsure how to respond. Instead, he took this as a cue to reach into his pocket and pull out the small box that was wrapped perfectly for Tessa. He handed it to her wordlessly, finding her gaze and widened eyes. "I saw this when I was doing my Christmas shopping for my family and immediately thought of you. I know we don't do gifts, but I couldn't resist. I hope you like it."

 

"Scott," She breathed, seeing the Tiffany blue box with a white, silky bow perfectly fastened around it. The display was beautiful, with a part of Tessa not wanting to open it up and ruin the perfect packaging. Water began pooling in the corners of her eyes, her gaze becoming affixed on Scott. "You didn't have to do this."

 

"I wanted to," He said, "now open it up."

 

She carefully undid the ribbon, her hands shakily opening up the box. Carefully placed inside, with its diamonds sparkling, was a silver necklace with a pendant of the letter "E." The "E" was covered in diamonds, sparkling as the ceiling lights hit it only causing Tessa's breath to completely catch, as a tear leaked from the corner of her eyes. It was absolutely beautiful.

 

"It's stunning," Tessa managed to get out, her finger gently caressing one of the diamonds in the pendant. "Scott, this must have been so expensive. I only got you a picture frame, I—" She stopped as soon as his finger found its place over her lips.

 

"The price doesn't matter. It is you who does," He replied, "do you want me to help you put it on?"

 

She replied with a simple nod, lifting her hair up from the nape of her neck. Scott took out the necklace from the box and carefully undid the clasp. His fingers were warm to the touch, as they lightly grazed Tessa's neck. The sensation sent tingles throughout Tessa, as she closed her eyes and felt her entire body relax. His fingertips remained at the base of her neck, as his face leaned towards her ear.

 

"You still are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen," whispered Scott.

 

Chills ran down Tessa's spine as she felt his breath in her ear. She smiled wryly, leaning back into his chest. "Even when I'm in my pajamas and my hair is a mess?"

 

"Even more so."

 

She smiled and felt him press a kiss into her temple, then run his hands through her hair. His arms wrapped around her waist steadily, pulling her even closer to him. They watched Ella play some more, neither one wanting this moment to ever end.

 

Tessa felt no grief, no sadness on this Christmas day. Instead, she felt loved and happy being surrounded by her perfect daughter and Scott. Scott who seemed in no rush to get back to his own family in Ilderton, but instead wanted to be right here with her. And no necklace was worth the price of feeling him wrapped around her and seeing him play with her daughter.

 

Maybe, just maybe she was finally ready to move on from Mark and begin a life with Scott.

 

* * *

 

The drive to the airport was quiet. Tessa sat behind the driver's seat, both fingers curled around the steering wheel, listening to the soft hum on the music player from the radio. The next few days following Christmas felt surreal to her, with Scott continuing to integrate himself flawlessly into her life. Ella hadn't called Scott "Daddy" again, and neither Tessa nor Scott brought up that slip-up to one another. Instead, they focused on the present and enjoying the time the three of them had together.

 

Tessa thought back to last night when she stood in the doorway of the guest room, watching Scott reluctantly pack his suitcase. Country music droned from his phone, not noticing Tessa, as he zipped up his bag and stared at it. He choked back his emotion, blinking around the room before his eyes landed on Tessa's in the doorway. They stared at each other wordlessly, unsure what to say to each other. It had been a hell of a visit, a visit neither wanted to let go or end. The feelings neither wanted to admit to each other.

 

Scott sat next to her in the passenger seat, quietly singing along to the radio and staring ahead at the familiar roads that led to the London airport. His fingers drummed on his legs, as he sunk further back in the seat, neither knowing what to say to each other. Both not wanting this to be the last bit of their time together for a while.

 

As they pulled up to the outskirts of the London airport, Tessa felt a wave of nausea rush over her as she tried gulping it away. She didn't want Scott to leave, and she knew Ella didn't want to as well. The goodbye between the two of them this morning, when Tessa and Scott dropped Ella off at school, was too much to bear. Tessa watched from the car window, seeing Scott whisper things in Ella's ear as tears slowly fell down Ella's fair complexion. Tessa couldn't hear any of the conversation, opting to give them privacy, but could only assume what he said to her daughter.

 

"Tess, I thought you were just going to drop me off outside?" blurted Scott, as Tessa made the turn to go to the airport parking. Alarm spread across his face, as her car continued down the path with her hands fully gripped behind the wheel.

 

"I changed my mind," she said.

 

He remained silent, as she pulled into the first available spot in the lot. Tessa turned off the car and looked over at Scott, confused on his face. He didn't protest, but instead undid his seatbelt and started climbing out of the car door mirroring Tessa's motions. She held her crossbody tightly to her side, as she watched Scott grab his suitcase and backpack out of the trunk, his eyes flickering to meet hers once he slammed the trunk shut.

 

They wordlessly stared at each other in the parking lot, barely flinching at the sound of voices filling the parking lot. There were so many things both wanted to say to each other, to tell the truth about how they were feeling, but neither possessed the strength to admit their fears with leaving one another. Neither having the desire to go back to their normal life and out of this state of elation.

 

Scott suddenly reached for Tessa's gloved hand, his fingers weaving their way through her own. He didn't break their gaze, as they began walking towards the entrance of the London airport with his suitcase wheeling behind them.

 

Their handhold felt like they were holding onto each other for dear life, neither wanting to let go of each other. It only grew worse when Scott checked his luggage and printed off his ticket. They stood outside security, both staring at the guard, with neither one wanting to be the first to make the first move and let go of their handhold.

 

"Scott," Tessa whispered, finally breaking the silence.

 

He turned to stare at her seeing her red-rimmed eyes that were filled with sadness. "Oh Tess, don't cry. You know I hate it when you do that."

 

"I'm not ready for you to leave."

 

"I'm not ready to leave either," He replied sounding out of breath, "but I have to, and I know it'll feel good for you to get back to your routine."

 

"What if I don't want to get back to it?"

 

Scott frowned and turned to face her directly, his hand pushing the hair away from her face delicately. He sighed, twirling a strand of her hair around his fingers and moving closer to her so he could smell her distinctive scent. "I'll miss you, Tess. You know that I'm only ever a phone call away."

 

"And know that I'm only a plane ride away," replied Tessa.

 

They were becoming dangerously close to each other. Their noses just millimeters apart, both staring at each other's lips before moving their eyes back up to one another. Every part of Tessa wanted to close the gap between them, to show to Scott how much he mattered to her, that she wanted him here with her and her family. So she tested the waters and drew herself closer, feeling the light brush of his lips against her own.

 

Until it was over.

 

Someone smacked into the side of them causing them to quickly fall out of the trance and look towards the direction someone was moving. "Sorry, I'm so sorry!" The man called, wheeling his carry-on suitcase rapidly towards the security line. "I am about to miss my flight and didn't see you there. Happy holidays! God bless!" He quickly handed his ticket to the guard and quickly disappeared around the barrier.

 

Tessa looked awkwardly at the ground, feeling the heat on her neck. "Well, I guess you should get going. We don't need you to be like that person." She half-heartedly laughed and finally met his stare again. "Text me when you land, okay?"

 

He nodded stiffly. "I will. Call you in a few days?"

 

Tessa melted in his arms when he pulled her into a tight embrace, breathing deeply. She felt his lips press against her forehead, with his hand running through her hair as they stood in the airport. Time went still again, a common entity when they were together. She was nervous to have him leave, worried he would find someone else worth his time. That any chance of truly being with him would vanish. Although she trusted him, her heart telling her that he wasn't looking for anyone else. It would be okay. Everything would remain the same.

 

* * *

 

Scott stood in line waiting for his coffee at the small Tim Horton's that was around the corner from his apartment. It was approaching the end of February, and amidst all of the chaos at Gadbois, he was quite content on life. Ever since he returned back to Montréal, friendship continued to flourish between him and Tessa. Their agreement to call each other every few days quickly turned into daily phone calls, talking to each other about their days after both climbed into their beds for the night. It felt good, it felt normal.

 

His Facetime calls with Ella were reduced to once or twice a week, with many of his phone calls with Tessa occurring when Ella wasn't around. It was part of establishing boundaries, to make sure that Ella wouldn't grow even more attached, and give room for Tessa to be a single parent.

 

Scott felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, immediately taking it out and smiling when he saw Tessa's name appear on his phone. It was a picture of Tessa and Ella at the school art exhibit, with Tessa proudly pointing at Ella's junior kindergarten painting.

_Meant to send this to you the other night. She was so proud of it._

 

Scott smiled and quickly sent a reply, before saving the photo to his camera roll.

 

He heard his coffee order and name be called out, thanking the worker as he grabbed his cup. He ducked his head down in the crowd as he weaved through it to hurriedly go home. It was a long day of practice, with every single team at Gadbois starting to feel the nerves and stress with the upcoming competitions, that only transferred to the coaches. Marie-France and Patrice were even more on edge, as they saw half of their teams mismanaging their lifts and having no synchronicity of their twizzles. Today was a disaster.

 

Although the disaster didn't indeed happen until he exited the store. In front of him, walking toward one of the small stores, was the back of the head he could pick out from every crowd. The blonde hair cascading down her shoulders, the cute laugh, and the Burberry scarf Scott bought her several years ago.

 

Kaylie.

 

He hadn't expected to see her in this side of town, considering she was always quite content living in the suburban outskirts of the city. Not to mention that her work seldom led her to this part of Montréal, let alone cause her to walk along these particular streets. He contemplated watching her walk away, not saying anything, but the care he still had for her grew in his throat. To the point where he found himself shouting towards her small frame.

 

"Kaylie!" called Scott, walking quickly towards her, "Hey, I didn't expect you to see you in this part of the city."

 

She seemed to freeze in her place, before turning around with her piercing blue eyes alarmingly looking at Scott. Although, it was Scott's mouth that quickly fell open when he looked down at the large bump that was protruding her dark wool coat. Kaylie's hands instinctively fell on top of her bump, her body beginning to quake.

 

"Scott," She choked out.

 

"You're pregnant? But how is this possible?" He said in disbelief stuttering out every word. "Why didn't you tell me? Why are you keeping this from me?" He ran a hand through his hair shaking away the tears forming.

 

Kaylie choked back her emotions, quickly shaking her head. "Scott, no. It isn't what you think it is. He isn't yours."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't pass Christmas without a little bit of Christmas magic for Ella, right? The fluffy parts were nice to write, a change from my usual angstiness and I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I had fun writing this. Oh, and yeah then there is Kaylie. I will say with 100% honesty, there is no way that child is Scott's. Him and Kaylie were very much broken up prior to her pregnancy. So no worries!
> 
> The response on Twitter and here for the previous chapter was overwhelming. I read every single one of your comments, with many bringing me to tears. I'm beyond grateful for the support and all of the kind words I have received. I promise I will continue working on replying to comments if I haven't done so already. Do know that I read them and appreciate them so dearly. It truly is motivational. 
> 
> Oh, I also have a Twitter: virtue_moir_415 if you ever wish to chat there. :)


	14. I'll Be There For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Scott's world begins to crash around him, Tessa's feelings become more profound.

“Are you just going to smile ridiculously at your phone or talk to me?” asked Jordan, poking at her salad in front of her.

 

The two sisters sat in a restaurant in downtown Toronto, meeting up to have lunch. Ever since their outburst back in October, the dynamic between the two of them become different. During Christmas, things were still tense, not wholly smoothed over, and Jordan remained slightly hostile when Tessa mentioned Scott. Tessa understood the protective instinct, knowing that Jordan witnessed some of the darkest times of Tessa’s life. That Jordan was the person that Tessa cried too when Scott broke up with her when they were little or the one that held Tessa after their breakup and then what happened at the bar. Jordan didn’t want Tessa falling down the same path, only to get hurt again.

 

Sure, the fear was logical especially considering Tessa and Scott’s track record over the years. Their relationship was filled with hurdles, hurdles that they continually overcame no matter how much time passed. It was that cycle Jordan kept pointing out to Tessa over the years, the cycle Tessa never listened to. This time was different for Scott and Tessa. Every crevice of her body felt it.

 

“Sorry, had to text someone back,” replied Tessa, quickly locking her screen after sending the art show picture to Scott. Her heart fluttered slightly as she saw her phone light up again with Scott’s name, saying that he would call her later that night after much needed Tim Horton’s and skating video analysis.

 

“Scott texting you?” poked Jordan, her eyes glancing across the table at Tessa’s phone. She stuffed a heaping forkful of salad into her mouth, continuing to stare at Tessa with her eyes silently judging her little sister’s actions.

 

Tessa immediately turned the phone over on the table, her screen facing downwards. She took a sip of her lemon water, swallowing it hesitantly before resuming her own food. “He was giving me an update on his team and wanted me to call him later to give him some advice about managing anxiety,” Tessa fumbled for an explanation, with Jordan clearly not falling for it.

 

“His advice and experience about managing his own anxiety not cutting it?”

 

Tessa blushed, “Yeah, well, uh we managed our anxiety differently I guess. With World’s coming up and all it is important for his teams to know how to cope with any pressure or stimulating factors.”

 

“Interesting,” replied Jordan.

 

Silence fell between the two sisters, an unusual asset for them. Tension continued to fill the air around them, as the topic that desperately needed to be discussed kept being pushed off until later.

 

“Jo, can you just say it?” blurted out Tessa.

 

“Say what?”

 

“What you have been holding off saying since Christmas about Scott, Ella, and I.”

 

Tessa’s sister placed her fork down gently on her plate, taking her napkin to dab around her mouth. She began twirling one of her dark brown strands of hair around her finger, her eyes flickering towards the busy streets of Toronto. Jordan’s thoughts were firing rapidly, as she struggled to come up with the best way to phrase the sentence to Tessa. The last thing either wanted was an emotional outburst in the restaurant, their favorite go-to restaurant during their frequent lunch dates.

 

Jordan’s eyes finally found Tessa’s, as she took a sip of her own drink before speaking. “I’m scared for you, Tess. Scared that you are lusting after him, letting him incorporate himself into your family, while you are at your most vulnerable. That you never had a chance of adjusting to a single way of life with just you and Ella before you think about moving on. What if you’re just acting on emotion? Acting on the need to have someone else there?”

 

Tessa blinked.

 

Her sister shook her head and rolled her eyes, resting her elbows on the table. “I don’t want to see anyone get hurt. Not you, not Ella, and not even Scott, but I’m scared you are subconsciously using him to replace that empty void you feel without Mark.”

 

“Do you really think I’m a vindictive person and would do that?”

 

Jordan shook her head. “God, no, Tess. Of course not.”

 

“Then why—” Tessa stopped short, shaking her head and taking another sip of her water unsure how to process what Jordan was saying.

 

She saw how one could easily see that, especially as an observer, but she also knew Jordan was completely wrong. Initially, it was about filling the void, yet that never was the exact reason why she continued to draw herself closer to Scott. For such a complicated matter, the explanation was simple. Tessa was still entirely in love with Scott, a love that remained buried deep within her ever since they broke up. Now being surrounded by him again, talking to him daily, that portion of her heart that she fought to keep back was exploding. She wanted him, all of him, but why did she feel so guilty?

 

“Jo, things are different this time between Scott and me. I feel it . . . I don’t think it is going to end in heartbreak. I know your concerns, but—” She blinked and ran a hand through her hair, letting out a slow and steady breath. “It’s complicated and hard to explain.”

 

“The definition of your relationship,” Jordan’s tongue clicked. She sat up in her chair and leaned across the table, her hand resting on top of Tessa’s. She gave it a light squeeze, before a serious expression spread on her face. “I know you want to find someone else in your life one day, and that Mark would never want you to live the rest of your life widowed and single. So, I need to ask you this; at the end of the day, can you honestly say that you can see him being Ella’s father? See him being your husband?”

 

Tessa stared at Jordan, hardly having to think about how to answer her question. “Yes, I do. He loves Ella like his own, and she loves him too. And the crazy thing is, I’m falling in love with him again even more so than before. Yet, I feel guilty, so guilty that a part of me is holding back letting myself completely into him.”

 

“Does he love you too?”

 

Tessa bit her lip, letting out a long sigh. She began picking at her nails and wiggling around in her seat, unsure how to respond. The truth is Tessa didn’t know for sure how deeply Scott’s feelings ran. She knew he cared about her deeply, that he loved Ella, and wanted to remain in their lives, but she didn’t know if it would amount to anything. She didn’t realize that despite everything if he still loved her like that.

 

Then her thoughts drifted to all of the tense moments between her and Scott, where both were under the temptation but stopped before it escalated. The dancing in Montréal, the way they skated together privately, the time she cried in his arms and fell asleep on his couch, Christmas morning, and the airport. What did all those moments mean? What would it eventually amount to?

 

“I don’t know,” Tessa said uneasily finally finding the words to reply to Jordan, “but I really hope he does.”

 

* * *

 

“Scott, no. It isn’t what you think it is. He isn’t yours,” said Kaylie.

 

The words stung and continued echoing through Scott’s head, as he stared at his pregnant former wife. The laughter and talking around him seemed to fade, and the only person on his mind was Kaylie. A pregnant Kaylie, the Kaylie that he spent the past few years of his life dreaming of raising a child with. The Kaylie that couldn’t get pregnant after years of trying, and the Kaylie who didn’t want to look for alternate options of having a child.

 

It felt as if Scott was in a trance. Every part of his body was slowly drifting down a dark abyss that he was unable to escape. The pain wasn’t even enough to describe the way his heart ached or how every crevice of his body stung. He wanted to run, to forget about this meeting, and continue the understanding that Kaylie couldn’t get pregnant. That it was impossible.

 

Yet, the universe showcased the impossible.

 

“How far along are you?” stuttered Scott.

 

Kaylie looked down at her stomach, then back up at him with her eyes watering. “Thirty-seven weeks,” She whispered. “I didn’t find out until the end of July because I didn’t think it was possible.”

 

“No, this can’t be happening,” Scott shook his head, swallowing back every last bit of pride. His full coffee cup was beginning to grow cold, as the winter wind gently blew on the busy streets of Montréal. His brain quickly did the math, realizing that she was pregnant back in May.

 

May.

 

Two months before their divorce was officially finalized. The month that marked over a year since they were last intimate. The month they decided they didn’t love each other the way they used to, that a life without heartbreak from a lack of a child was easier.

 

His hand shakily found his forehead, feeling beads of sweat beginning to form. Scott swallowed multiple times, attempting to keep his emotions in line. “You moved on already?” He shook his head. “Who is the father? Who is—” He stopped short unsure of how to continue.

 

Kaylie gave him a long look, before breaking eye contact and staring at the ground. “I didn’t plan on moving on so quickly, but it just happened. His name is Peter.”

 

“Peter? You mean that asshole architect that you collaborate with?” spat Scott.

 

Kaylie’s eyes immediately narrowed, her head abruptly snapping up to look at Scott. It was as if a snarl came across her face as the defensiveness began kicking in. “What about Tessa then?”

 

“That is none of your business,” shot back Scott.

 

“Then Peter isn’t any of yours,” stated Kaylie her voice rising with every word. The sudden shift in her tone caused Scott to freeze in his place, his mind suddenly breaking from the trance. Kaylie cleared her throat and wiped at her tears that were forming in the corners of her eyes. “This wasn’t supposed to happen. The divorce, this fluke of pregnancy, none of it. We need to sit down and talk, I don’t want to argue.”

 

Scott stared at her for a long time unsure how to respond. Instead, he finally found the courage to do what he wanted to do since the minute he discovered Kaylie was pregnant: he ran. Tossing his fresh coffee cup in the garbage, he swiftly turned on his heel and walked away from Kaylie ignoring her pleads to come back and talk to him.

 

Instead of walking back towards his apartment, he walked past it and to the nearest liquor store. He didn’t think twice when his hand found the bottle of Crown Royal whiskey, barely thought of the repercussions when he swiped his card to pay. The cashier barely said anything to Scott, knowing that he needed space. That he was utterly unapproachable. Scott was on the outskirts of returning to his old habits of running when life got hard. He hated himself for it but thought it was the only way.

 

He entered his apartment, hardly acknowledging Rufus who happily greeted him at the door. Instead of his usually rough-housing with his dog, Scott went straight to the kitchen cabinet. Opening up his cabinet filled with his beer glasses and digging for his rocks glass, gently placing it on the island counter.

 

Scott breathed slowly, his nostrils flaring as he continued processing his encounter. Tessa and Ella were far from his mind, his teams preparing for World’s buried at the back of his mind. He couldn’t think of anything but this. He cracked open the bottle of whiskey, poured a small amount in the glass, and he quickly downed it. The burn of the alcohol in his throat helped suppress some of the pain he felt, but not enough to numb the pain.

 

He knew it would be a long night.

 

Sighing, he snatched the glass and whiskey bottle before wandering over to the couch. Rufus tagged along closely, before laying at Scott’s feet at the bottom of the sofa unsure what to do. Scott poured another glass of whiskey and placed both the bottle and glass on the table, his hands finding either side of his head as he let out a shaky deep breathe.

 

What did his life suddenly turn into?

 

Scott’s eyes began burning as tears started pooling in the corners. A sob escaped his mouth, letting his emotion overtake him, which only caused his body to shake. He couldn’t do this, he couldn’t handle the pain. His eyes darted up, and his hand reached for the glass only pausing when he saw the picture frame Tessa gave him, sitting on one of the side tables in his living room. He stared at the faces of the three of them, the look of Ella’s innocence and curiosity, and the joy radiating from Tessa’s.

 

He couldn’t do this to them. He couldn’t do this to himself.

 

Scott abruptly stood up, snatching the glass and whiskey bottle from the table and hurriedly walking over to the kitchen sink. With no hesitation, he dumped out the glass, then proceeded to dump out the entire bottle in the kitchen sink watching his mistakes flush down the drain. When it was all over, he sunk down to the ground, his head leaning against the lower cabinets. Rufus quickly joined him, resting his head on Scott’s knee and looking up at him lovingly.

 

“What a fucking mess,” Scott said, immediately feeling his body increase the shaking as the sobs echoed throughout his apartment.

 

* * *

 

Tessa sat on the ground in the basement sorting through the last remaining box of Mark’s things. The box that was filled with a random assortment of things that Jordan carefully placed in it. The therapist told her repeatedly that Tessa would know when she was ready to go through the last items, that going through it was one of the final steps needed to accept that Mark was indeed gone. Her hands were on either side of the unopened box, seeing Jordan’s scrawled handwriting across the top of it that read, “Open when you’re ready.”

 

What an odd thing it was to scrutinize over when opening a simple box.

 

She sighed, taking a deep breath. Her hands found the box opener on the ground, slowly sliding the blade through the packing tape. Once the flaps of the box were slightly open, she put the safety lock on the module, before glancing over at Ella who was over in her kitchen playset while keeping an eye on her iPad that was propped against the wall anxiously waiting for Scott’s call. Tessa bit her lip and looked down at the box, before looking back at Ella who was beginning to sing a song as she stirred her pretend food. She thought about her talk with Jordan earlier that day; was she fully adjusted to this single parent way of life? Or did she still rely on Scott in her everyday life? That Ella relied on the weekly calls to feel peace?

 

“Here goes nothing, Tess,” She muttered to herself, breaking open the box the rest of the way.

 

The box contained things that Tessa forgot about. A collection of memorabilia of her and Mark, going back to ticket stubs to a musical in Toronto from their first date together. She sighed and picked up a picture frame on top, a selfie of the two of them down by the Toronto Beaches. It was their first picture together, and she remembered the day clearly. It was late spring, and both of them were on an extended lunch in Toronto, both deciding to enjoy the cloudless sky and warm weather instead of their mediocre obligations at work. They were happy, truly happy.

 

Tessa’s finger lightly dragged over the frame around Mark’s face, letting out a sigh. She missed him, and she knew she would miss him every day for the rest of her life, but the central part of moving on was learning how to find happiness elsewhere. To see that person that would fill up her heart with love and joy morning and night. The mornings her thoughts would only drift to mark for a minute, and the nights without Mark next to her were normal now. She was ready to move on, prepared to let Scott in fully. Now it was just a matter of time, a matter of seeing him and letting him know how she honestly felt.

 

Sighing she continued to go through the box, setting stuffed animals aside to be donated to charity or adding to Ella’s collection, and throwing away old ticket stubs. She took her time to recall a memory associated with everything, but only kept the most meaningful things in there. The one thing she didn’t touch, didn’t dare look through was the wedding album of her and Mark. It would be too painful, but she knew it was something to keep. Finally, when she approached the end of the box and the stuff she was keeping was put back in did she grab the box out of her sweatshirt pocket.

 

The velvet box was gripped firmly in her hands, as she opened up the box. The diamond engagement ring and wedding band hit the lights from the ceiling sparkled intensely. Her heart sank at the sight of them, remembering the day she never put back on her rings. It was the day before Ella and her left for Montréal to visit Scott. Never once did she go back to them but would often grab the box off her dresser to stare at them several times a week. And now, now that things felt so great, so uplifting in her life with Scott and Ella did she find the courage to put the rings away.

 

“I’ll never forget us,” whispered Tessa, placing a kiss on the rings.

 

Pushing away other thoughts, she gently placed them in the bigger box. Grabbing the new roll of tape beside her, she began taping the box back up to stow away for safe keeping. Tessa didn’t know how soon she would visit the box again. Was unsure if she would ever revisit it but knew that it was right and it was time.

 

“Mommy, Scott isn’t calling me,” shouted Ella, “he always calls by now.”

 

Tessa shut the closet doors after placing the box on top. She pulled out her own phone and frowned, seeing how late it was getting. That was weird; usually, he would be back at his place and waiting to call Ella by now. “I’m sure he didn’t forget sweetheart, he texted me earlier.” She unlocked her phone and quickly pulled up the last text message from Scott, reading his reply to her the picture she sent earlier that day.

 

She looks so proud of her work, and she should be. Give her a hug for me and tell her I will call her at 8 pm sharp before her bedtime.

 

She frowned at the message, before locking her phone and walking over to Ella. It was pushing nine o’clock, and Tessa needed to get Ella into bed. Maybe something came up, but usually, that would elicit another text message. Surely, he wouldn’t forget? Unless he did? The insecurity caused a lump in her throat to form, that Tessa quickly swallowed.

 

“Should I call him?” asked Ella.

 

“Give him another ten minutes, and then we can try calling him. Perhaps he got busy with coaching since those competitions are coming up?” suggested Tessa, crouching on the ground in front of Ella. “How about you cook me something?”

 

Ella shook her head and pouted, “No, Mommy. I don’t want to do that.”

 

“Hmm, how about you watch a video on YouTube. What do you want to watch?” Tessa reached over and grabbed Ella’s iPad that remained against the wall. She quickly swiped open the screen and pulled up the app, knowing that it was something that would always cheer Ella up.

 

“That silly routine you and Scott did,” said Ella.

 

Tessa raised an eyebrow.

 

“The one where you are a dancer, and he is a hockey player. Please, Mommy, that is my favorite.” Ella batted her eyelashes and stared at Tessa with puppy dog eyes, who responded in pinching Ella’s cheeks lightly. “Ouch! Mommy you know I hate that.”

 

They both giggled before Tessa walked Ella over to the old sofa near their movie projector. She settled Ella on the couch, as she typed in the “Everybody Dance Now” routine that she and Scott performed during their first Olympic season for the gala.

 

The familiar music came on, as Ella began watching it mesmerized. Tessa smiled and ruffled her daughter’s hair, that was still damp from her bath earlier, before walking over to the play area. She began organizing the various pretend food, sorting it away in the multiple bins that she got for Ella. The laughs coming from Ella filling up her heart, happy that something so simple could bring that much joy to her.

 

It wasn’t until the performance stopped.

 

It wasn’t until Tessa heard the familiar music of the next video Ella selected.

 

Carmen.

 

“Shit, no, no, no,” murmured Tessa scrambling to her feet. She raced across the room to snatch the iPad from Ella’s grasp, not wanting her to see that performance just yet. Sure, Ella watched Moulin Rouge, but that wasn’t as provocative as Carmen. Although, she didn’t reach Ella in time before Scott’s roar came out of his mouth, nearly causing Tessa to choke on her own saliva.

 

“Dinosaur?” exclaimed Ella.

 

Tessa was right behind her and quickly snatched the iPad out of Ella’s grasp. Ella let out a scream immediately turning around to pout at Tessa, who immediately was exiting out of the video. That didn’t stop Tessa from looking down at the screen and gazing at the intense sexual energy that entire routine.

 

“How about we try calling Scott, sweetheart?”

 

“Why did Scott make dinosaur noises?” questioned Ella innocently, causing Tessa’s mouth to gape at her. “You know this noise.” She proceeded to mimic Scott’s roar causing Tessa to suppress any ounce of horror on her face, but internally she felt her lungs constrict and her stomach clench.

 

“Oh, sweetheart he was just angry that is all,” swallowed Tessa.

 

“At you?”

 

Tessa stared at her daughter unsure how to respond. The Carmen era was an exciting time, considering Scott was in a long-distance relationship with Cassandra. That didn’t stop the sexual tension, the way he grabbed her on and off the ice, or the many times they came so close to caving into their inner desires only for one of them to pull away. The World’s competition they were at the brink of their sexual frustration, just to have Scott let it out during the performance. The sound that made the fans buzz, the time period where fans questioned if they were doing each other or not.

 

Her eyebrows scrunched up, as she gazed at her daughter’s curious expression. “He was just fake angry. It was part of the routine,” Tessa lied.

 

Ella nodded her head slowly, playing with her fingers. “So, like pretend?”

 

“Yes, like pretend.”

 

“Maybe me and Scott can play pretend. He can be the dinosaur, and I can be escaping him,” said Ella enthusiastically. She bounced slightly on the couch, grabbing ahold of Tessa’s arm. “Like that movie!”

 

“Jurassic Park?”

 

“Yeah. He can roar, and I can run and hide,” Ella beamed.

 

Tessa sucked in her breathe, breaking eye contact with her daughter. She pulled up the contacts and quickly found Scott’s name before she handed over the iPad as the Facetime began calling. “You can’t talk too long since it is past your bedtime, but maybe ask him if he can talk to you tomorrow.” Tessa was quick to change the topic, while silently hoping that Ella wouldn’t bring it up to Scott and make him speechless.

 

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Tessa walked away to continuing tidying up the mess, relieved to hear Scott’s voice and Ella’s happiness seep out with no mention of dinosaur noises. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Scott’s familiar face and Ella’s excited body language, before delving back into cleaning.

 

“Mommy said we can’t talk for long since you forgot,” said Ella pouting her lip suddenly. She held the iPad out and stared at Scott, who had swollen red eyes from the amount of crying that happened earlier.

 

The truth was that Scott spent the entire hour, delaying the Facetime call, due to trying to pull himself together before the video chat with Ella. He didn’t feel like talking to her tonight, he didn’t feel like talking to anyone for that matter, but knew he needed to call Ella. If he didn’t, Tessa would worry, and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

 

“I’m sorry, kiddo. I got busy with work with the upcoming competition. Your mommy sent me the picture of you next to your artwork. It looked amazing, way better than your classmates,” said Scott attempting to be enthusiastic. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there.”

 

Ella shrugged, “it’s okay, you can be at the next one. How is Rufus?”

 

Scott looked over at his shoulder to see Rufus curled up on his cushion sound asleep. The dog had stuck to his side ever since his incident coming home, even keeping close during their mile walk they took earlier. “He is good, sound asleep. I’m sure he misses you though.”

 

“I miss him too,” sighed Ella, “why are your eyes all red?”

 

He swallowed at the response, rubbing his eyes slightly. “Oh, I was cutting some onions earlier, and my eyes are still red from that. Nothing to worry about, kiddo.” He turned to look at the time, slightly relieved that it was pushing her bedtime and Tessa would be making her hang up soon. “What pajamas did you select tonight?”

 

“The bunny ones of course,” beamed Ella, “Mommy says I’m getting too big for them, but they fit me just right.”

 

Tessa suddenly appeared in the background, her hands coming down and brushing Ella’s hair out of her face. She smiled down at Scott and gave him a wave, immediately sensing the sadness in his face. As if he was holding back something that needed to be let out and discussed. She looked away sadly, refocusing her attention on Ella. “Ella, we should probably get you ready for bed. Maybe Scott can call you tomorrow?”

 

“Can you?” demanded Ella, “please, Scott, please.”

 

“I’ll try kiddo, I may have some stuff going on,” He began scratching the back of his head nervously.

 

Tessa narrowed her eyes slightly, “Ella how about you head upstairs and let me talk to Scott quickly?”

 

Ella frowned but nonetheless agreed to hand the iPad over to Tessa. She turned around in the couch, where Tessa stood behind. She bounced on the couch slightly, waving, and blowing Scott kisses. “Goodnight Scott! I hope you have a good sleep!” She blew him another kiss and giggled when he pretended to catch it and place it on his cheek.

 

“Night, kiddo. Sweet dreams!” He called.

 

The call went silent, as Ella began walking up the stairs slowly. Tessa tucked some hair behind her ears, before staring at Scott through the screen. He immediately ducked his head and started acting as if his shirt was of higher interest than the call. There was a twist in her stomach, as she made her way around the couch and sat down.

 

“Scott, what’s going on?” She calmly said, with slight demand in her tone.

 

“Nothing, Tess. Just had a long day preparing for competitions and stuff.”

 

“Well, want to hear a funny story? Ella accidentally started watching Carmen and thought your roar sounded like a dinosaur from Jurassic Park.” Tessa began giggling and shaking her head, recalling the not-so-distant memory. “She asked why you were so angry, and to say that I feel guilty for lying may make me a horrible parent.”

 

Normally Scott would laugh at that. Normally he would have a reply about protecting the child’s innocence. Normally he would say something along the lines of what they were thinking about doing a program that sexual. They usually would start bursting into a fit of giggles before she would hang up and attend to Ella.

 

Instead, this didn’t happen.

 

He let out a fake laugh, before looking up at Tessa. “I’m going to head to bed now. Busy day and all tomorrow, you know how it can be. Not sure the next time we can talk, but, uh, I’ll catch up with you soon, eh?”

 

Tessa's heart fell upon hearing those words. She bit her lip and blinked away her own emotions. “Yeah, I understand completely. If you, uh, need anything or if something is going on you would tell me about it, right?”

 

“I’m fine,” He paned.

 

“Night Scott,” She whispered.

 

“Night, Virtch. Give Ella a hug for me, okay?”

 

She agreed and hung up the Facetime call, immediately tossing the iPad next to her. Before Christmas, Tessa wouldn’t overthink this type of conversation. The kind where something was bothering him, or things were weird between the two of them, but this time she felt her entire body sink. What wasn’t he telling her? Panic shot through her when she remembered the conversation her and Jordan had earlier that day. What if he didn’t love her? What if he was distancing himself from her because he found someone else?

 

But that can’t be it.

 

* * *

 

Tessa turned on the water to draw herself a bath, dropping a bath bomb in it, before pacing around the bathroom. It was unusual for her to have a bath in the middle of the week, she usually saved that for the weekend or a day off in the weekdays when Ella was at school. Not tonight, tonight was different. She rubbed her face before adjusting the tie to her white bathrobe, trying to suppress her unsettled feeling about her conversation with Scott earlier.

 

“Candles, soft music, just relax, Tess,” She muttered to herself, before walking over to her bathroom drawer to grab the lighter.

 

Her hand was shaking as she lit the lavender scented aromatherapy candles, her thoughts unable to focus on a single task. She hated herself for jumping to ridiculous conclusions, she hated for feeling this way when she figured it was only inevitable. Maybe Scott moved on from her, perhaps this was his way of distancing himself. Wait that couldn’t be right.

 

Tessa pinched the bridge of her nose, letting out slow breathes. She knew her train of thought was irrational and scolded herself for letting those thoughts creep into her brain. Letting out a long sigh, she turned off the faucet and soon found herself immersed into the warm bath water. She fluttered her eyes shut and leaned against the edge of the tub, trying to take in the soft music and the calming scents around her.

 

The thing was she knew Scott better than anyone else she ever knew, even after their time apart. She held herself back regularly from completing his sentences or replying to his quiet thought out loud. A part of her hated to admit how she still knew Scott better than Mark. The guilt used always to feel strong when she would connect with Scott’s thoughts, but now, now it felt good. It was everything she wanted and needed . . . The delicately crafted deep connection. It was all still there, she craved the feeling of it.

 

So now, as she sat back recalling her recent conversation with Scott, she knew something deep was going on with him. That it was something that he was stubbornly trying to deal with himself, and that he didn’t want to drag anyone else into. She saw this same behavior during the first year of their comeback when he lost a close friend and his grandfather. He contained his emotions, let it take a toll on his cheerful personality, but refused to talk to anyone about it. It was a battle he wanted to face on his own, to remain strong and focused during their important practices and competitions.

 

Tessa remembered Scott’s distance during Four Continents when he found out his grandfather wasn’t doing well. He stayed in the hotel room as much as possible, barely even saying goodbye after the practice sessions. It was when Tessa knew that he needed her when her shaky hand went up to his hotel door unsure if he would answer. But when he did, staring at her with his puffy eyes did he finally cave collapsing on the ground with his arms wrapped around her. Burying his face into her stomach and letting out uncontrollable sobs, with her running a hand through his long soft locks. She comforted him the rest of the night and any future nights, promising herself she would always be there for him no matter where they were.

 

Tessa opened up her eyes staring at her phone that was on the edge of the bathtub. She knew what she needed to do. Biting her lip and unlocked her phone, did she then proceed to pull up the Air Canada application and looking up flights to Montréal for tomorrow. It was a rushed decision, but it was what needed to be done. He was there for her when her world fell apart, and she needed to be there for him with what he was going through.

 

It was Scott. Her Scott.

 

She held her breathe and selected the last ticket for the eight thirty flight tomorrow morning, picking her return refundable ticket for three nights later. Tessa stared at the confirmation email, before immediately calling her mom asking for her to watch Ella at the last minute. She wished she could bring Ella, knowing that Ella could uplift Scott’s spirits, but something told her not to. It just needed to be Tessa.

 

“Tess? Why are you calling so late?” asked a concerned Kate, picking up on the second ring.

 

Tessa scrunched up her nose, tears forming on the brink of her eyes. “Can you watch Ella for me the next two days? Something came up, and I have to go to Montreal, I—” She paused, biting her lip.

 

Kate sighed, “Do you think that is a good idea, honey? I know things are getting better with Scott, but—”

Tessa abruptly sat up in the bathtub, not caring that the water was spilling over the edge. She climbed out of it slowly, wrapping a fuzzy towel around her. “It’s Scott, Mom. He needs me.”

 

The other side of the line remained quiet.

 

“Hello?” said Tessa, her voice unintentionally getting louder, “Mom, I know you are there.”

 

“Tess, I’m worried for you. I know Jordan expressed our concerns to you about Scott. I’m not a fan of it, even though I still love him and see him as family. I just don’t want you to get hurt again.”

 

“I know,” blinked Tessa, “but I can’t explain it to you. I just know he needs someone, that he needs me. I have this awful feeling in my heart after he talked to Ella today. Something happened, something he is running away from.”

 

“But—” started Kate, with Tessa quickly cutting her off.

 

“I’ll be gone three nights, Mom. I will tell Ella it is an emergency work meeting, I just need you to watch her. I need to see him, make sure he is okay. Please, Mom, please.”

 

There were a few seconds of soundless conversation. Tessa stood in the bathroom with some water dripping on the ground from beneath her towel. She felt like she couldn’t breathe, that her head continued to become lighter with every second that passed. The wobbliness of her legs grew more apparent, as she managed to walk over and sit at the edge of the bathtub waiting desperately for her mom’s response.

 

Finally, Kate broke the silence. “I will watch her, Tessa, but please tell me you will look out for yourself and your heart? I can’t bear to see you hurt again.”

 

“I promise, Mom,” whispered Tessa letting the tears leak from her eyes, “thank you.”

 

* * *

 

Tessa stood outside of Scott door to the apartment, with deep bags underneath her eyes. Her plane was supposed to arrive mid-afternoon, but due to severe weather delays, it caused her to arrive at nine o’clock at night. Tessa held up her balled-up fist to knock on the door, trying to take calming breaths before she knocked. Anxiety coursed through her veins, a part of her wondering if this would all backfire.

 

She hadn’t told Scott she was coming.

 

It felt ridiculous not to send him a text or call him, especially since with how their video call ended last night. She wanted to let him know, she had started to compose a text several times, but words seemed to be out of reach from her frazzled mind. Her thoughts kept drifting back to: would it only make things more awkward if she were to show up now? She scolded herself for thinking such thoughts, a wave of nausea rushed over her as she continued staring intently at the door.

 

“Don’t be a coward, Tess,” She murmured.

 

Tessa took the leap of faith and knocked on his door several times, before biting her lip and tapping her foot on the ground. As she waited for a response, she cleared her throat several times, repositioned her hair, and kept hugging her Canada Goose parka closer to her side. She gulped, nervously rubbing either side of her arms, not sure what to say or do when Scott appeared. She hadn’t thought about that, hadn’t thought about the possibility of her misreading the situation entirely. What if this just made her look like a fool?

 

She didn’t know how long she waited at the door before frustration clouded her. She heard Rufus barking, she heard Scott yelling at Rufus to be quiet from across the apartment. Tessa closed her eyes, her hand falling in her pocket to feel the key to the apartment. It was the key he had given her in July, for when she stayed several days. It was the “just in case you need to leave or come back” key, that was temporary. A key she forgot to give back to him.

 

“Oh, fuck it,” whispered Tessa abruptly. She took the key out of her pocket, turning it slowly in the lock hoping that this would be the right decision. It felt insane to do this as if she was invading his privacy, but something told her this is what she needed to do.

 

It was the same thing she used to do all those years ago in hotel rooms for competitions. They would exchange keys, promising each other they would be there if something was wrong. Anxiety always plagued them before their competitions, sometimes altering between the two of them, and in later years, when Marina held her focus somewhere else, depression flooded them. Tessa and Scott felt like they only had each other. That was when they learned to read each other the best, know what the other was thinking by just an expression. It was those expressions that dictated when one would go to the other’s hotel room in the middle of the night, immediately slipping themselves under the sheets only to wordlessly hold each other.

 

Rufus came bolting towards Tessa, letting out a whimper and wagging his tail rapidly at her. She rolled her carry-on quietly on the hardwood floors, carefully shutting and locking the door, before bending down to give Rufus a scratch. Scott was nowhere in sight in the main living area.

 

“Hey, remember me?” whispered Tessa.

 

Rufus gave her a lick on the cheek, continuing to wag his tail.

 

“Where is Scott? Is he here?”

 

The dog looked back towards the bedroom, before gazing into Tessa’s jade eyes. A small smile crept across her face, as she undid her winter boots and hung her winter coat on the hooks. Her feet softly padded across the ground, as she walked down the hallway towards his darkened room. As she peered into the room, she saw his figure curled up in bed facing away from the door. An array of clothes scattered amongst the floor, his dresser drawers partially open, with clothes draping over it looking as if he was losing every care, he had left in the world causing Tessa’s stomach to drop.

 

“Scott?” She softly said from the doorway, tentatively making her way around the dirtied clothes.

 

“Tess?” whispered Scott, his head raising and body twisting towards the direction she was moving. “Please don’t tell me I’m imagining things.”

 

Tessa’s eyes rose to meet his hazel ones, filled with shock and amazement of her appearance. The curiosity of the situation quickly fell from his expression, as he swallowed the lump and immediately broke their eye-contact. Worry and upset clouded his face, when the adjustment of seeing Tessa finally set in.

 

“Hi,” was all she could muster out when she reached the empty side of his bed.

 

“What are you doing here?” He replied, his eyes beginning to glass over slightly.

 

“Something told me you were upset. I can’t explain it, but after our call last night—” She paused, her hand immediately flying to her hair to sheepishly run through it. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have shown up unannounced, I just had this feeling that you needed someone, and I want to be that someone just like before at competitions. So, I booked a flight, called Mom to watch Ella, and took a leap of faith.” She began nervously babbling on, not seeing the twitch of Scott’s lips.

 

“How did you know?” He asked, cutting off her babbling. She stared at him with her mouth slightly agape, unsure how to respond. “That something was wrong?”

 

“I don’t know,” Tessa shrugged, “something in my heart just told me. . . Was I right?”

 

Scott stared at her hesitantly, his expression somewhat sharp. It was then that they stared at each other in silence for a few seconds before his face softened as he came to terms with Tessa was there. He softly said, “yeah, you were.”

 

Tessa let out the breath she was holding, pushing back her messy hair, and wiping underneath her eyes. The tone in his voice said it all, he was grieving about something. That Scott went back to his personal bubble like he did when his grandfather died, where he felt like he would be a burden on anyone he wanted to talk to her. Her heart sank, as her eyes continued staring into his own.

 

“Is there anything I can do?” Tessa walked over to sit on the edge of the bed.

 

Scott stared at her, seeing the tiredness and worry on her pale complexion. He knew what he needed, he knew it was something that only she could provide. It was the years together that cumulated, that gave him that grounding of comfort no matter where he was in the world. “Just lay here,” Scott softly responded. His fingertips curled around the comforter, lifting it up to invite her to join him.

 

Tessa only had a moment of hesitation, before she moved over on the bed and slipped under the warm comforter. They didn’t touch initially, both watching at each other inquisitively, taking in every sense of the moment. Tessa studied Scott’s boyish features, in the bit of moonlight shining through the slit in the curtains. Deep bags were underneath his swollen eyes, his usual grin replaced with a frown, and his body was trembling slightly.

 

A hand shakily went up to the side of his face, lightly caressing his soft skin. She felt him relax under her touch as if the tension and upset were temporarily leaving him. “Scott,” She whispered, “you don’t need to tell me, but I’m here to listen if you need that.”

 

Scott nodded slowly and stretched out his arm to wrap around Tessa’s shoulders. She immediately caved to his touch, scooting closer to him. Her head found its place on his chest, her arm wrapped around his waist and their legs became intertwined just like old times. His head found his place against hers, as he tightened his arms around her, holding her as if she was the most precious thing he had in life. Neither falling asleep, both just lying there and enjoying every sensation they felt.

 

Neither knew how much time passed before Scott cleared his voice and pulled Tessa closer to him. He let out a sigh, wiping at the corners of his eyes in an attempt to hold back his emotion. “Kaylie is pregnant,” He mustered out, his voice borderline with feelings.

 

“Oh,” replied Tessa her entire body sinking.

 

“But the baby isn’t mine. There is no way it could even be mine considering the last time we—” He stopped short his voice faltering letting the tears he delicately hung onto finally leaked from his eyes.

 

“Scott, I’m so sorry,” Tessa croaked out the words suddenly coming to her. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”  Tears formed in her own eyes as she said that, her own voice becoming shaky.

 

She attempted processing this information, stunned at the discovery as much as Scott was and unsure how to respond. She felt the hurt radiating from Scott into her soul, knowing that he blamed himself for not being able to have a child. He wore his heart on his sleeve, and out of everyone in the world, he deserved to be a father.

 

Scott nodded his head, lifting his hand up from around her waist to dab at the corners of his eyes. His body felt numb from the emotions of the past twenty-four hours; he wasn’t sure how it was possible for him to cry still. But now as he stared at Tessa, seeing the concern and tears of her own, his heart fluttered slightly. “I just . . . just am trying to process it all.” His voice sounded dull and didn’t match the emotion on his face, “I don’t understand how the world can be so cruel.”

 

“The world is a cruel place, but at least there is love.”

 

“If you’re lucky enough to find it,” responded Scott.

 

They went back to lying in silence, Scott tracing small circles in Tessa’s back. Occasionally he would bury his face in her strawberry-scented hair, pressing his lips into her hair or on her forehead. He was grateful for her, thankful that he had her in his life. That even after all of these years, they had this unexplainable connection with each other and knew when one was emotionally hurting. A secure connection neither found with anyone else—something that both struggled to admit.

 

“Do you want to sleep?” Tessa whispered noticing the deep bags present underneath Scott’s eyes. “How about I let Rufus outside one last time and get you some water?”

 

He stared up at her, one of his hands playing with a strand of her hair. A fear beneath his neutral expression. “You’ll come back, right?” Suddenly it felt as though he was a little boy again, living with a fear of someone leaving.

 

“I didn’t book a hotel room,” She admitted shyly, “I mean you do have that second bedroom...I assumed it would be okay.” She felt her cheeks grow deep red, suddenly grateful for the dark room.

 

“Of course, it is,” He eyed her carefully, “but you don’t have to sleep in that second bedroom.”

 

Tessa stared at him.

 

“You can stay here, with me,” whispered Scott, “but if that isn’t what you want—"

 

“I was hoping you would say that,” Tessa admitted cutting him off. She sat up and looked down at him, continuing to flush. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

 

“Okay,” He returned, loosening his grip around her.

 

She slipped out of bed, immediately finding Rufus whining by the front door to be let out. As she threw on her boots and winter coat and put on Rufus’s leash, she took the time to pause and turn back towards Scott’s bedroom with a smile on her face. Every part of her mind knew she was nothing but happy to be there with him. That her feelings for him continued to become more profound, despite the upset Scott was going through. They would come up stronger, solidifying their growing relationship. It was what she wanted, what she was ready for, but was he?

 

“You’re worth the wait,” She murmured, as her thoughts halted after coming back inside.

 

She found herself quickly getting ready for the night, filling up Rufus’s water dish, and pouring Scott a glass of water. Her mostly empty suitcase remained in the hallway, in which she quickly navigated towards the guest bedroom to store. Tessa’s heart sung and smiled, as she slid into her pajama bottoms and a tank top and washed her face. After sending a quick text to her Mom telling her to kiss Ella goodnight, she found herself staring at her reflection pondering if anything more would come out of this visit. 

 

Rufus laid at the end of the recently vacated bed, fast asleep and exhausted from the day. Tessa’s attention quickly diverged to Scott. He stood in front of his bedroom window, staring out at the Montreal streets. The moonlight shone on his bare back, as he stood in just his boxers, his thoughts in another place.

 

She walked up behind him, her arms maneuvering her way around him. Her head rested on his back, as she clutched her hands against his chest, taking in every part of him. Warmth emitted from him, continuing to send tingles down her spine, as his hands found her own. They wordlessly stood in this position for a while, feeling their tense muscles relax at each other’s touch. This was what they both wanted, what they both needed.

 

Tessa placed a kiss on along his shoulder blade, letting her lips linger there. “Scott, are you going to be okay?”

 

The softness of her tone was tantalizing, causing Scott’s breath to hitch at the sound. His hands squeezed hers, before turning around to face her. “I will,” He honestly said, “now that you’re here.”

 

A small smile spread across Tessa’s lips. “Even though I’m here unannounced?”

 

“That made it even better,” He chuckled.

 

With no question, Scott scooped her up into his arms cradling her against his chest. A squeal emerged from her delicate lips, as he walked across the room and carried her to his bed. He didn’t even need to ask when he walked over to the right side of the bed, remembering that it was always her preferred side of the bed. The luxurious sheets surrounding her, as he pulled them on top of her, giggles continuing to emerge from her. It felt domestic, it felt as if the past six years never happened.  And, oh, how they both craved it.

 

He climbed into his side of the bed, propping himself up on one elbow and gazing at her.

 

“You didn’t have to do that,” whispered Tessa.

 

“I don’t have to do a lot of things, but I choose to do them,” Scott nonchalantly replied.

 

Tessa pulled the comforter closer, tightening it over her body. “You remembered which side of the bed I like. I kind of thought you forgot.” Her cheeks reddened, immediately regretting the words that came out of her mouth.

 

“I could never forget, Tess, you know that.” He pulled the comforter up more on his own side laying his head back down as they faced each other. “I can’t believe you left your life to see me, I’m just—” He shook his head, words unable to escape him.

 

“I’m only a plane ride away, right?” She said, with a short laugh, before her tone shifted to something more serious. “I meant what I said to you before you left, that I would come in a heartbeat if you needed me. You came for me during the most challenging part of my life, and this can only begin to repay what you did for Ella and me. I did this because you are part of my life now, in whatever way it is.”

 

He was at a loss for words, as he stared down at her. Instead, he gave her a kiss on her forehead, both of their eyes fluttering shut as his lips lingered there. Eventually, Scott pulled away and pushed away some of her hair out of her face, giving him a small smile. “Thank you,” was all he could manage, before he laid down close enough to Tessa.

 

Tessa’s only response was to move closer to Scott, her hand daringly reaching out to find his own. Their fingers interlocked, both of their breaths catching, before Scott caved and grabbed ahold of her waist. He pulled her tightly, her thin tank top pressed firmly against his chest. Their noses grazed each other, their breaths tingling one another’s lips. The silent exchanges between them were reassuring that this was okay, that this was what they both wanted.

 

“Goodnight Scott,” She breathed, a part of her wanting to close the gap.

 

“Goodnight, Tess.”

 

It took every ounce of strength for Tessa to pull her face away from his, immediately turning her body over to press her back against his chest. Both arms wrapped around her waist, his lips pressing a soft kiss on her shoulder causing her body to melt into him more. She wanted him, there was no doubt about that, but she knew the timing wasn’t right. He was hurt about Kaylie, she still kept something buried deep within her from their past, and they never discussed their breakup. Tessa knew this would all happen eventually, but right now it was a matter of time.

 

* * *

 

Tessa emerged from Scott’s bathroom the next morning, letting out a long yawn and stretching her arms over her head. Scott grinned crookedly from his bed, as he looked over at her. Rufus was lying next to him, enjoying the morning scratches, his tail wagging at the site of Tessa. She stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame and smiling back at him.

 

“You look happier,” She noted.

 

Scott nodded his head slowly, scratching Rufus behind his ears. “I wouldn’t be feeling this great if you weren’t here.”

 

She walked back over to him, climbing into his bed and sitting crossed-legged. Tessa reached over and began scratching Rufus as well sitting there in silence.

 

“I have been thinking of what to say to you all morning about Kaylie, but I’m at a loss of words,” said Tessa. She pushed her hair behind both ears, biting her lip, and gazing over towards him. “I’m sorry, Scott, you deserve the world. You deserve to be a father.”

He sighed and shook his head, resting his back against the bed frame.

 

“We don’t have to talk—”

 

“I just don’t understand. I keep thinking it is a nightmare that I will wake up from, but I never wake up. I was the one who wanted kids more than her, the one that pushed for a family. Sure, Kaylie wanted to be a mother, but not the way I wanted to be a father. You know, Tess, know how much I love children.” He was on the verge of tears, his emotions immediately dropping.

 

“I know, trust me I know that,” blinked Tessa immediately thinking of the years she saw Scott interacting with children. She remembered the first time he held his nieces and nephews, how excited he was to meet Poppy, and how his face lit up when meeting fans’ children. Then there was Ella, oh sweet Ella, the way he treated her like his own. That gave her that comfort and love she needed and was slowly filling the role of being Ella’s father.

 

 “What if it was me? What if I am the one that has fertility issues?” abruptly stated Scott, tears glistening in the corners of his eyes when he met her gaze. The tears that he quickly pushed away as he lowered his head and placed his hands on the back of his neck.

 

“Did you get tested, Scott?” asked Tessa tentatively.

 

“Yes.”

 

“And?”

 

“The lab results came back normal. The doctor said the sperm count and mobility were where they should be,” stated Scott, rubbing his nose that was becoming stuffy. “But what if the results were a fluke or at the low end of what they refer to as normal? What if I have bad genetics? Maybe I’m the Moir who can’t have kids.” His hands shakily ran through his hair, causing it to stick up in multiple directions.

 

 “Scott,” firmly said Tessa, one hand resting on his bare back and the other on his arm. “Sometimes life is a mystery. Sometimes things happen that make no sense.”

 

“But she’s fucking pregnant. Pregnant after sleeping with a guy for several months.” His head abruptly shot up, startling Tessa’s whose hands immediately withdrew from him. Her eyes widened at him cautiously.

 

Scott didn’t glance over at Tessa but instead did a calming breath before resuming, “Kaylie and I tried for years, repeatedly. Even the nights where we both were not in the mood, we tried. Every month that passed where she got her period was another stab in the heart, but I didn’t give up hope until one day where we just couldn’t do it anymore. It ruined us, it made an irreversible change to our dynamic. It became as if trying to start a family became more of duty rather than something enjoyable, that the thought became a drag and not excitement. And now, now seeing her pregnant, seeing one of my dreams from a couple years ago true, is like a knife to my heart.”

 

Tessa sighed, her heart sinking and aching for Scott. “I know it hurts and you have every right to be angry at the world, but remember what you told me back on Christmas Eve?”

 

He paused thinking. “That maybe everything happens for a reason.”

 

“Right, which sounds messed up in many ways because I wouldn’t like to think Mark was meant to die ...” Tessa paused, quickly wiping away that thought. “But then I come back to, if Mark didn’t die, we wouldn’t be in each other’s lives. If Kaylie got pregnant with your child—“

 

“I wouldn’t have you and Ella,” stated Scott.

 

Tessa nodded shyly. “Have you talked to her since you ran into her?”

 

Scott shook his head.

 

“Have you considered it though?” She raised an eyebrow at her.

 

“No, yes, I don’t know,” He sighed, rubbing his face. “I called my doctor yesterday and left a message, requesting a copy of the fertility results. I’m paranoid, Tess, paranoid that I’m the Moir child who can’t have a fucking child. What if the results are wrong? What if it was an anomaly? I can’t stop thinking about that.”

 

Tessa closed her eyes, swallowing when she thought about their past. The past that involved a driving force for her to initiate the end of their relationship; the secret that she kept to protect Scott’s heart, to allow him to thrive while she momentarily suffered. Her hand touched her stomach tentatively, feeling the phantom pain returning to her again. She knew this wasn’t the right moment, but was there any right moment for this?

 

“Scott,” She calmly said, meeting his hazel eyes, “the test results were accurate. I know they were.”

 

“Tess, what are you talking about?” He said confusion over his face.

 

“I know you’re not sterile,” She whispered, tears brimming, “I know this isn’t the best moment, that you are hurt, and I—” She began shaking uncontrollably, her arms clutching either side of her stomach. “I’m so sorry, Scott. There were so many times I wanted to tell you.  I never wanted to hurt you, but I think it is time you know. I know timing sucks . . . it seems that timing is never in our favor.”

 

He stared at her, his face falling flat as he connected the pieces. “Tess, you’re scaring me. What’s going on?”

 

She shook her head unsure how to respond. “It’s about us, about what happened. What truly happened.”

 

“Tess,” He whispered softly, “what happened all those years ago?”

 

Tessa blinked tears down her face, swallowing the saliva that built up in her mouth. This wasn’t how she wanted to tell him, this wasn’t how she wanted her morning to go. As Tessa stared at Scott, her heart pounding in her chest, anxiety causing nausea to take control of her. She knew she couldn’t lie, that the only way to move forward with him was to tell him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how are we doing? 
> 
> I don't have much from my end other than get ready for chapter 15. It is going to be quite the ride of emotions, and the halfway point of this story. 
> 
> It is hard to believe that I started this little story back in June, never thinking more of it than writing for me (which I still do). Seeing the kudos, the comments, and love over Twitter has put a constant smile on my face. I'm forever grateful for the support, even though we did have a bit of a rocky chapter 11.
> 
> The comments the past two chapters have been amazing, and so inspirational. I can't stop thanking you for the support! Many thanks for Tutu and Angela on their willingness to Beta read, as well as help me work out small details.
> 
> Twitter: virtue_moir_415
> 
> OH! One more thing...I have some scenes that I partially wrote from previous chapters, that I inevitably cut. I'm considering posting them in a separate "story". Would you be interested? These scenes include the fertility doctor visit, Scott's disastrous date Sam set him up on, Scott and Mark's first time meeting, Ella playing in the snow, etc. Let me know!


	15. One Step Backward and One Leap Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa finally opens up about what really happened for their relationship to fall apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a potential trigger warning for those who have experienced any fertility problems. I have talked to several brave, open women have experienced a miscarriage to collect their emotions at the time and their thoughts in the present day. It is a situation that is heartbreaking and one that I do not take lightly. 
> 
> I understand that everyone's reaction can be different, but I did my best to collect viewpoints and determine how my portrayal of the characters would react. If there is anything about the miscarriage that is disrespectful, please feel free to comment below or send me something on twitter (@virtue_moir_415). 
> 
> Without further ado, I hope you enjoy!

_Scott slid the key slowly into the backdoor that led to the mudroom of Tessa’s London house. Dark bags were underneath his eyes, his hair disheveled, as he placed his keys in the drop bowl while letting out a big yawn. He kicked off his shoes and shoved his small carry-on suitcase to the side figuring it would be easier to have his dirty clothes close to the laundry room. The house was still, with the only sound being the soft ticking of the clock on the wall in the informal living room. It was approaching ten o’clock on a Saturday morning, and knowing that he was free of work for the next two days lightened his mood, especially after the week he had coached at Gadbois._  
  
_The week coaching was long, to say the least, which always resulted in a minuscule amount of dread when he would pack up his belongings after just getting settled. He seemed to perpetually stay at an Air BNB in Montreal, located within walking distance to Gadbois. His current living arrangement in Montreal wasn’t close to being ideal but continued to be the wisest option. He didn’t know how well this coaching job would work out, and the last thing he wanted to do was dissipate all of his money staying in hotels or sign a lease when he didn’t know if it would become permanent. Yet, he was exhausted and craved the ability to make his workplace his home once again._  
  
_Except his home was here: on a quiet street in London, that was walking distance from downtown. Scott remembered when he first laid eyes on the house, after driving back Tessa from a physical therapy appointment. The house needed updates, but he saw the same potential Tessa did and fell in love with it. Never once did he imagine a dream of living there with Tessa would become a reality. A reality that grew better with each passing day._  
  
_Scott looked around the house, as he made his way further inside, smiling at the small details Tessa continued to add. The house was filled with memories; the memories that went back to the time he helped Tessa assemble and arrange her furniture, and when he held her on the couch when her parents were going through a divorce. Then there were the memories that continued to repeat and grow in the house. The ones that consisted of laughter filling each crevice of home, the teasing while he cooked in the kitchen, or the multitude of times he would kiss her hard and make her knees go weak._  
  
_Scott grabbed a glass of water from the kitchen, before quietly moving up the wooden stairs, being careful to avoid the creakiest portion of the steps. The house smelled like Tessa no matter where he went, a mixture of vanilla and strawberries, a scent that he could pick out anywhere. A way to ground him back home. As he approached the top of the steps, his eyes drifted to Tessa’s favorite place: her reading nook. A smirk spread on his face when he saw the scattered blanket and an open psychology book laying on the footstool, knowing very well that she spent her night doing late night reading and assignments for class (one of the few classes she had left to take to get her degree in psychology)._  
  
_He turned his attention towards the bedroom, immediately smiling at the peacefulness on Tessa’s face. She was curled up in a ball, buried under several blankets, with the pillows hastily thrown in various places in the room. Scott took in the sight of her, wanting more than ever to take a photograph with his mind. He wanted to treasure the moment forever. She was beautiful, so beautiful, no matter what she was doing._  
  
_His heart pounded in his chest, his body yearning to quickly join her. He silently stripped down to his boxers, before settling underneath the comforter drawing himself closer to Tessa’s body. Scott’s arm wrapped around her small waist, pulling her tightly against himself. “Tess,” He whispered softly, before planting a kiss in the crevice of her neck, “I’m finally home.” He proceeded to place light kisses across the exposed area of her face, before working his way back to her neck. He saw the smile emerge on Tessa’s face, as one of her hands found its place on top of his arm._  
  
_“Mmmm,” She moaned, her eyes fluttering open to see Scott’s disheveled hair as he continued to kiss her neck. She turned her body over slightly to get a better look at him, sucking in her breath as she felt his tongue graze her neck. Her fingers immediately weaved through his hair, giving his strands a sharp tug, which caused Scott’s teeth to nip at her neck and Tessa to gasp._  
  
_Scott lightly pressed his lips over the small mark he left. His gaze affixed to hers, a warm grin on his face when he moved his face upwards and was unable to resist pressing his lips against hers. “Good morning beautiful,” murmured Scott into her lips, “I missed you this week.”_  
  
_Tessa smiled at the sight of him, relaxing at the sense of his touch and the look of his hazel eyes._  
  
_A small pang of sadness immediately flooded her, upon the realization that she rarely got these meaningful moments now. The distance was far from easy, especially with both of them dividing their time between Montreal and London. Tessa was adamant about continuing her education at Western University, while Scott dedicated his time between coaching at Gadbois and traveling to London. They hated the distance, they disliked the inevitable strain that slowly began to form when they were apart._  
  
_Except when they did get those moments around each other, it felt like no time had passed._  
  
_“I missed you too,” whispered Tessa, continuing to run her fingers through his soft locks. “How was your flight?”_  
  
_“Exhausting,” admitted Scott. He took the first early morning flight from Montreal to London, after the stressful week of practice. His teams were not where he wanted them to be causing unnecessary stress during and after practice. There were parts of him that wanted to spend the rest of the weekend in Montreal, just to relax, and not have to deal with travel, but he knew it would be worth it when he saw Tessa._  
  
_“I was going to get up and wait for you to get back, but—” paused Tessa, letting out a yawn and rubbing her eyes, her sentence falling short._  
  
_“Not surprised you’re still sound asleep since it’s Saturday.” He poked her teasingly, before propping himself up on his elbow._  
  
_“I have just been so tired lately, I can’t explain it,” sighed Tessa snuggling closer to his side. She breathed in his scent and relaxed at the feeling is his warm hand that encompassed her waist. “Nothing has changed in my routine as far as I’m aware.”_  
  
_Scott nodded nuzzling his forehead against hers. “Have you been having food other than eggs?”_  
  
_“Hey, I can make spaghetti too,” She lightly tapped his arm, letting giggles escape her mouth. “Maybe I never recovered from that food poisoning last week when I went out with Jordan. The seafood must have thrown my body completely off. Been feeling weird ever since.”_  
  
_He frowned, his finger rubbing her hip. “You know I hate it when you’re sick and you act like everything is fine.”_  
  
_“I am fine,” She insisted._  
  
_Scott gave her a tense look._  
  
_“Scott,” said Tessa, giving him a light peck on his lips. “I don’t want you to worry, I know how you get.”_  
  
_His eyebrows scrunched up, as he let out a sigh. The fingertips caressing her face, before he cupped her cheek to stare into her green eyes. “Tess, I just don’t want anything to happen. I’ll never forgive myself if something happens and I’m not here.”_  
  
_“You’re being a bit dramatic. It isn’t like I’m dying.”_  
  
_His lungs constricted and tensed up, a frown clouding his usually happy grin._  
  
_Tessa inched her body closer to him, her fingers splayed on his warm chest. “Hey, don’t worry about it. If it makes you feel better, I have my annual appointment with my doctor Monday. I’ll tell her about it, okay? I don’t want you to worry, I’m sure it is nothing.”_  
  
_“Tess, you know I hate it when you don’t tell me what is going on.”_  
  
_She kissed him on the cheek. “Scott, if something were bad, I would tell you. I don’t tell you the little things because you can’t be rushing home from Montreal all the time.”_  
  
_That seemed to trigger something in Scott, as he immediately tensed up at the thought of the distance relationship. “I hate it, the distance, all of it. Every night I go to bed in Montréal, and I just want to be here,” swallowed Scott. “Why did we decide to do this?”_  
  
_“We want to do different things right now,” She sadly said, “but also because we love each other and want to make it work.”_  
  
_He gazed at her not sure how to respond. It was moments like this that continued to test their relationship. When they both desperately wanted to be with each other but were too stubborn to give up on their post-skating dreams. Their years of skating partnership had taught them how to accept each other’s opinions and desires, but no one said it wouldn’t cause this constant hurdle being thrown at them._  
  
_Just because they loved each other, it didn’t make it easier._

* * *

Tears glistened around her reddened eyes, her body beginning to tremble. She played with her fingers, trying to find the strength to look Scott in the eyes and tell him the secret. The secret that slowly ate away at her for all those years. She swallowed back any pride she had, letting the vulnerability that she carefully tucked away out in the open. “You were going to be a father,” She stated staring into his eyes.

  
His eyes flickered with confusion, his underlying happy demeanor on his face abruptly falling. “What?” Scott gasped, the only words he managed to get out of his mouth. He sat up in bed, unintentionally jolting Rufus, trying to process what Tessa said. His hands resting on either side of his head, as he suddenly started to feel lightheaded.  
  
Waterworks began pouring from Tessa’s eyes, as she buried her face into her palms. “Scott,” She croaked, “I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault. I can’t ever forgive myself for what happened. I—I wanted to tell you so many times.”  
  
“Tess,” He said, his voice stern out of frustration and confusion, “I can’t play this game right now, I can’t dance around the words. Tell me.”  
  
She sniveled and wiped away at her tears, reaching desperately for his hand. “I was pregnant, Scott, with your child.”  
  
The truth finally escaped out from her, the burden that she held for years lessening as she said it. Sadness immediately clouded Scott’s eyes, his silent tears joining Tessa’s, as he swallowed in an attempt to process it all. From the outside, he appeared calm and collected, but internally he was screaming and trying to understand how he didn’t know, why she would keep this from him all of these years? But he knew Tessa, he knew that she was one to internalize everything and carry the burden herself.  
  
He thought about Tessa’s shins years ago in Canton, and the how much time passed with her pain until she was candid. Scott had noticed minor setbacks in her movements on and off the ice, always questioning how she was doing, with her simple reply being “I’m fine.” He never thought more of it at the time, never pushed her for honesty, but instead partied and hung out with Jessica Dubé while Tessa sat at home unable to move. When she finally admitted the extent of her pain, he was angry. Angry for denying him the privilege to know her struggles, and guilty for his own competitive edge arising during practice. He questioned her extensively, repeatedly, about why she kept it from him. Her only response: “I didn’t want you to carry the burden.”  
  
Scott’s thoughts began drifting back to reality, as he stared at Tessa. Her head was bowed down in her hands, as sobs escaped her mouth, with Rufus inched closer to rest his head in her lap. Scott began shaking too, as they both sat there and took in the gravity of the situation. Tentatively, he reached out his hand to touch the top of her bare knee, his thumb lightly grazing it. Innately, Tessa moved one hand to wrap around her stomach, while the other began wiping at her tears.  
  
“Fuck,” was the only word that escaped his mouth.  
  
The silence was around them, the only sound being Rufus’s dog tags jangling as he adjusted positions. The dog looked back and forth between his owner and Tessa, trying to assess the tension in the air. Tessa continued wiping at her steady stream of tears, while Scott sat there in a state of shock his hand gripping onto her knee attempting to ground himself.  
  
“Scott,” blinked Tessa breaking the minutes of silence, “say something, please.”  
  
“I just don’t understand,” He slowly said, nearly choking on every word with emotions. Scott began dabbing at his own eyes, then combing his hands through his hair. “What do you mean you were pregnant? I—I don’t get it.”  
  
“We were going to be parents, Scott . . . all those years ago.” Tessa’s voice began faltering, as she started taking deep breaths.  
  
His eyes widened, as his shaky hand withdrew from her knee. “You didn’t terminate it, did you?”  
  
“No, God no, of course not,” Tessa immediately replied. She repositioned herself slightly on the bed, scooting closer to him. “I wanted a family with you, Scott, more than anything in the world. When I learned I was pregnant, I was overcome with joy and filled with a sense of purpose. I told myself that this was it, that this was what we always envisioned together . . . but it was taken from us, for reasons I don’t understand.” Her voice increased in weariness with each word, rendering her barely audible at the end.  
  
“You miscarried,” whispered Scott.  
  
Tessa stared into Scott’s eyes, biting her lip and giving him a firm head nod. His head immediately found his hands as he let the suppressed sob escape him. Tessa sat there next to him, nodding her head, and joining him in crying. Neither knew how to respond or how to handle the situation, with the phantom feeling in her abdomen suddenly returning. Despite having Ella since her miscarriage, no matter how much time passed, the child that she lost never left her mind.  
  
“Tess,” whispered Scott, temporarily collecting himself. He cleared his throat and managed to meet her gaze, once again reached over to grab her paled hand. “When did you find out? When did it happen?”

* * *

_“Why do you keep glancing at your phone? Something wrong?” asked Jordan, as they browsed the women’s section in The Bay at the White Oaks Mall._

  
_Jordan had a rare break from work at the law firm, in which she immediately opted to put the busy Toronto life aside and spend time at home. It felt good to have someone to keep Tessa company, during the week when Scott was away. It was what she needed to distract herself from the difficult long distance relationship, and for Jordan to not think about the pile of pending cases. Their minds craved for a temporary distraction, in which they soon found themselves hitting nearly every store in the mall and swiping their credit cards far too much._

_Jordan’s hands touched one the pleated blouses that were a vibrant deep green, her eyes glancing at the price tag. She raised an eyebrow at Tessa, wanting an opinion, but immediately frowned when Tessa’s mind was elsewhere. “Earth to Tessa,” said Jordan, playfully snapping her fingers in front of Tessa’s eyes, in an attempt to get Tessa out of the trance, “You were adamant about coming to The Bay if I remember correctly.”_  
  
_Suddenly startled, Tessa shook her head and sheepishly placed her phone in her coat pocket. She put on a fake smile to Jordan, adjusting the shoulder strap of Chanel bag that rested on top of her. “Yeah, sorry, just surprised I haven’t heard back from my doctor’s office. Usually, they call by now with my lab results to tell me everything is normal.”_  
  
_Jordan nodded and began looking for her shirt size. “I’m sure it is nothing to worry about, they could be backed up with labs. I mean you have been feeling fine, right?”_  
  
_Tessa shrugged, studying the blouse Jordan had pointed out. “Scott just got concerned when I told him that I was feeling more tired than usual and hadn’t recovered from the seafood spell earlier that week. Just made me paranoid that I’m terminally ill or something, which I know is ridiculous.”_  
  
_Jordan laughed, moving towards another clothing rack with Tessa following closely behind her. “That man will put you on a pedestal no matter what you do or how you feel. Someone is a lucky girl.” She nudged Tessa in the ribs lightly, before continuing to browse the clothes._  
  
_Tessa rolled her eyes, before immediately grabbing a shirt off a rack that caught her attention._  
  
_“Are you feeling better now at least?”_  
  
_She stared at Jordan hesitant before shaking her head. “Honestly? No, I’m not. I have been sore everywhere, incredibly tired, and my appetite is slightly off. Wondering if I’m coming down with a cold or end-of-season flu.”_  
  
_“You aren’t pregnant, right?” questioned Jordan._  
  
_Tessa’s face immediately flushed in response, then firmly shook her head.“No, of course not. You know I switched birth controls recently, Jordan. We had an entire conversation about switching back from an IUD to the pills,” She replied softly, casually looking over her shoulder to see if others noticed._  
  
_“You got your period last month, right?”_  
  
_“Jordan, this really isn’t the proper place,” hissed Tessa._  
  
_“Tess, it is a simple yes or no.”_  
  
_Tessa continued to roll her eyes, “yes, I had a light period. I was stressed with exams, so it was slightly abnormal, but that has happened several times in the past. Now, can we get back to shopping? Mom told me you have that important meeting with the CEO’s and you should update your wardrobe. Besides I need something for that event in Montréal this weekend with Scott.”_  
  
_“Ah, got to look sexy and tease your man. Got it,” winked Jordan causing Tessa to snort. “Oh come on, you know you purposefully pick something that nearly causes him to topple over. Remember that lingerie dress several years ago?”_

_Tessa raised a brow._

_“Don’t pretend that you don’t remember what I’m referring to. I think Twitter dubbed the name for that dress . . . wait, it wasn’t lingerie, right?”_

_A mischievous grin arose on Tessa’s face before she found Jordan’s size for a blouse. “I think you should try this. Classic with a modest reform to it,” She held it up to Jordan trying to avoid the answer to the question._

_“Yeah, that’s cute, but you’re avoiding the answer,” poked Jordan._

_Tessa winked, before walking away giggling._

_“Oh god, I knew it,” murmured Jordan, joining her sister, “and that was before they actually got their shit together.”_  
  
_The two soon found themselves immersed in the sales section, as well as checking out the new arrivals. Piles of clothing to try on were slung over their arms, causing the sales clerk to widen her eyes as they approached the change room. If there was one thing that the Virtue women loved, it was shopping and experimenting with new pieces. They giggled at the hideous pieces, complimented each other on the keepers, and quietly played music in the empty dressing rooms. This was all that Tessa needed for her worries to disappear._

* * *

“I honestly had no clue, no inkling at all.” She played with her fingers, biting her lip and thinking back to that moment. “When Jordan brought up being pregnant I thought it was the most ridiculous thing. We were safe, always using some form of contraception, but I guess something went wrong and we should have been more careful.”

Scott’s gaze remained averted from Tessa trying to take in the details. When sex with Tessa first started happening, when they were still in the progress of defining their relationship, they always used as many levels of protection as possible. Except, as time went on it escalated to a constant sense of urgency and soon dismissal of condoms. They never had issues, they never thought anything about when Tessa altered her birth control.

“It briefly crossed my mind, you know,” whispered Scott, before Tessa could continue, “That you could be pregnant.”

Tessa’s eyes widened slightly feeling the heaviness of the entire situation push down on her. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Scott shrugged, nervously fidgeting with his hands. “Because I thought I was irrational, and I didn’t want to worry you. I got myself worked up about it that Monday night, when I was out eating dinner with Marie, Patch, and Billie-Rose. Somehow Marie’s pregnancy got brought up and--” He paused to run his hand through his hair. “I don’t know, I convinced myself I was crazy and thought it wasn’t worth it to bring it up to you.”

“I would have brushed it off the way I did with Jordan,” replied Tessa. “I don’t know why I ruled it out so quickly. I guess since I got some sort of a period and was on contraception I thought it was impossible, or perhaps I didn’t want to admit it. We weren’t in a good place, with the distance . . . “ Her thoughts drifted off, as she blinked her swollen eyes rapidly before her head drooped downwards.

Scott cleared his throat. “I would have left Montreal, my entire desire to coach, if I knew about the baby, Tess. You should have known that.”

“I know, I know that now. But at the time, that was this irrational fear I had, and it was easier to doubt being pregnant. If only I knew the shock, I would be in later that day.”

* * *

_Tessa stood in her walk-in closet, her hands on her hips as she stared at the clothes in front of her trying to figure out what pieces to give away, so she could make room for her new arrivals. She may have gone a tad overboard, with various clothes hanging in her doorway begging for a place in her closet. It would be simple for any girl to find a place in their closet, especially if one had a comparable size, but to Tessa this task was daunting. Sometimes she disliked her obsession with fashion and her attachment to sentimental items._  
  
_Temporarily taking a break, after discarding a few old blouses, she began walking back to her bedroom only to pause at the rod in the entryway. Her fingers immediately touched several of Scott’s clothes, that was nicely organized. Several shirts were missing, from his week at work, which only caused a pang of sadness to shoot through her. She hated him being away, she missed standing in the closet fretting over what to wear every morning when he would lazily walk in and grab the first shirt he saw. He would have chuckled at her, before giving her a kiss and preparing breakfast downstairs. Now that didn’t happen._  
  
_They both expressed their distaste in the distance, but both were too stubborn to make it easier for them. Tessa played around with the idea of pursuing her MBA at McGill in Montreal, while Scott questioned coaching at the Ilderton Skate Club. Yet, neither gave each other the satisfaction and fulfillment they deserved. So, for now, it was distance, only about two years. They had twenty-one years of partnership, they could get through this._  
  
_Tessa’s thoughts were quickly interrupted when the familiar tone of her phone ringing echoed through her bedroom. Her hands released the soft flannel shirt she was clutching, hurrying to her phone that rested on her bed._  
  
_“Hello?” Tessa said, immediately picking up after recognizing the caller ID and hoping to put any fears to rest._  
  
_“Hello, Ms. Virtue. I hope your day is going well. I am calling on in regards to your blood test results. Is this a good time to talk?” crooned Dr. Ryan’s voice._  
  
_“Yes, of course. I’m assuming the results were normal?” She asked, her voice slightly uneasy. The phone was clutched tightly in her hand, as she sat down on the edge of the bed trying to calm herself. Her doctor never called with blood results, it was always one of the nurse’s that verified her results were normal._  
  
_There was a pause on the phone, followed by an immediate shuffling of papers. The voice came back on the phone, a new tone suddenly heard. “Well, that is actually why I made a personal phone call. It is about the results of the test, I was relatively surprised considering the daily medications you have taken, as well as your last menstrual cycle.”_  
  
_It felt like all of the oxygen left Tessa, with her pulse racing, and the tension building in her shoulders. “What do you mean about my results? What is surprising?”_  
  
_“Your complete blood workup results were normal, as well as the metabolite range being—”_  
  
_“Dr. Ryan, what are you trying to say?” said Tessa, cutting her off._  
  
_There was a pause._  
  
_“Am I—do you mean to tell me that I’m--?” Her mind began spinning and suddenly sitting down on the bed wasn’t enough to stabilize Tessa. Her bottom hit the ground, as she shuddered and rested her head against the side of the bed. She knew where it was going, and it couldn’t be true. It wouldn’t make sense, she was on a method of contraception._  
  
_There was another long pause, as Dr. Ryan cleared her throat. “There was a substantial increase in the human chorionic gonadotropin hormone, which is increased during proper formation of the placenta after the fertilized egg becomes attached to the uterine wall.”_  
  
_“What? I—” Tessa stumbled on her words, rendering her speechless._  
  
_“You’re pregnant, Ms. Virtue.” The whole world seemed to pause momentarily, as Tessa’s eyes widened at the news. She instinctively clutched her stomach, biting her lip unable to find words. Meanwhile, the doctor continued, “I have a last-minute cancellation tomorrow if you would like to come in and further discuss options about the pregnancy. Is that what you wish to do?”_  
  
_The doctor’s tone was compassionate, and Tessa knew she was doing her job, but felt overwhelmed by this news. This wasn’t what she was expecting, and it didn’t make sense. How could it happen? “I—what time is the appointment?” Her hand was pressed firmly against her forehead, trying to stabilize the dizziness and thoughts pouring through it._  
  
_“Tomorrow at 9 o’clock in the morning. Would that work for you?”_  
  
_“Yeah, I’ll miss class. I—is there any way the results could be wrong?”_  
  
_“Very unlikely. However, if you want to provide ease of mind, you can take a home pregnancy test. The results are highly accurate on those too . . . “The doctor continued talking about other things, with Tessa unable to pay attention any further. She managed to stand on her feet and grip the railing as she slowly went down the stairs, not close to comprehending her doctor’s words. She confirmed her appointment time, at least she managed to get that, but soon enough she was left with silence in her empty house._  
  
_Grabbing her keys, coat, and purse Tessa quickly raced out to Shopper’s Drug Mart to pick up pregnancy tests. She bought nearly every brand and every type, as well as a massive bottle of Fiji water, before racing home to take the tests. Maybe the blood work was wrong, it had to be wrong. She tried reassuring herself, her innate need for having a structured plan coming to full force. Tessa wanted to have children one day, she wanted to have a family with Scott, but not right now. Not when things were distant, when a strain was building, and she was in the middle of finding her place after the post-Olympic hype._  
  
_“But even if I’m actually pregnant, I’m keeping this baby,” She mumbled to herself, before peeing on the stick of the first test._  
  
_She didn’t draw conclusions, attempted to remain neutral, as she paced around the room waiting for the results to come in. It was agony waiting for the results, she wanted more than ever to call Scott and tell him what was going on. But she couldn’t, couldn’t get him riled up before she knew the answer for herself._  
  
_It was positive._  
  
_Test after test came back positive, the reality slowly hitting her. She and Scott were going to be parents. A child was growing inside of her. Tears began welling up in her eyes, her hand finding the place over her flat stomach. She counted her menstrual cycle, the spotting she had several weeks ago (her so-called period), and her eyes widened. She had to be between four to six weeks . . . A pregnancy that nearly went underneath her nose. It explained her tiredness, her nausea, and abrupt change of appetite. Her breasts and muscles ached something that she wrote off due to a new HIIT circuit. It was all the pregnancy._  
  
_“Oh god,” She whispered. “My life is going to change. Scott’s life is going to change.” Her hand clasped around her mouth, a giddy shriek coming from her mouth. Sure, the timing wasn’t great, but perhaps it was fate. She and Scott were going to be parents._  
  
_Now, it came down to finding a way to tell Scott._  


* * *

Tessa paused in retelling the story, her tears finally settling, as the happy thoughts during those few days pregnant their child came flooding back through. She calmly looked over at Scott, who remained slightly in shock, and trying to process it all. Both hands encompassed one of his, giving him a reaffirming squeeze. “I wanted to call you as soon as I took all those tests,” She began, trying to meet his hazel eyes, “but I wanted to go to the doctor. Get a better idea of how far along I was in the pregnancy and tell you in person.”

  
Scott stiffly nodded his head.  
  
“So, I went to Dr. Ryan the next day, a mixture of emotions. I was still in shock, it wasn’t what we planned to happen right, but I was okay with it, more than okay with it. She took an ultrasound, and there it was . . . Our child” whispered Tessa.  
  
She reached for her phone, began to swipe through her photos to find the digital copy that she could never have the courage to part with. When the picture came up, her heart sunk, seeing the small little dot on the screen. Her hand tightened its grip around her phone, before holding over her phone to Scott, a simple gaze to question if he wanted to see it.  
  
His eyes were filled with torment, as he stared into Tessa’s eyes and then away from the phone. Eventually, he took a deep breath, wiping at his dampened cheeks, before taking Tessa’s phone into his grip. He took a deep breath, his heart pounding in anticipation, before drifting his eyes downwards towards the photo not quite sure what he would be seeing.  
  
It was a small dot surrounded by Tessa’s womb in the photograph, with a computer arrow pointing towards it. The baby didn’t look like much, the average person wouldn’t think anything of it. Yet, the situation overtook him as he came to terms that this was his child, something that he loved just at the sight of the photo. Every part of his body sunk as he continued to stare at the ultrasound photo, the tears beginning to stream faster down his face. There was his child, the child that he never would get to meet. The child that never got to fully grow or the child he never got to hold in his arms.  
  
“How far along were you in this photo?” He managed to say between sobs, his bottom lip rapidly quivering.  
  
“Six weeks,” whispered Tessa.  
  
“And when did it the miscarriage happen?”  
  
Tessa closed her eyes, as Scott handed back the phone.  
  
The emotional and physical pain all came back to her, as she recalled the worst Friday of her life: waking up to the severe abdominal pain and heavy bleeding, calling her doctor panicked at what was happening, and praying that this wasn’t becoming a reality. She remembered the day, as if it was yesterday, the emotions never fading completely. It was yet another day that changed her life forever, that questioned God, and made her wonder if something was against her. Instilled guilt was found that day; she blamed herself for the pregnancy going wrong and questioned everything she did for the first six weeks. What did she do for this to happen? Could she have done something different?  
  
She placed her phone back on the nightstand, the shaking occurring again. “Two days after the ultrasound.” The inevitable sob finally escaped her lips, as her head found its place in her hands. The emotions overtook her to the point where no other words other than “I’m so sorry Scott, it’s all my fault” could come out.  
  
Scott immediately grabbed ahold of her, pulling her close against his own body. “No, it isn’t your fault, Tess,” He sobbed into her shoulder, his lips pressing a kiss to her shoulder blade. “Don’t blame yourself over something that you couldn’t control.”  
  
“We were supposed to be parents,” She croaked.  
  
The suppressed sensations of the enormity of the situation finally caught up to Scott, as he stifled out a cry that joined Tessa’s. The clung to each other for support, crying, with both of their hearts racing. It felt like this was happening for the first time, almost as if they were transported back all of those years ago. They laid down on the bed, Tessa’s back firmly pressed up against Scott’s bare chest, as they continued to take in the miscarriage. Both finally able to mourn the loss of what could have been.  
  
Scott’s hands wrapped around Tessa’s stomach tightly, pulling her even closer to him and kissing her soft hair in an attempt to comfort. He thought about how different his life would have been if she didn’t lose the baby or if he was there for her when she needed him the most. He remembered his anger when she canceled her plans to come to Montreal, and the delay in determining what he really wanted . . . Only to have her leave.  
  
He never knew she was in pain or carrying this burden that tormented her for years, and he hated himself for it. Scott knew Tessa like a book and could tell when she was lying or avoiding talking about something bothering her. Yet, he was too caught up in coaching to notice the mental and physical toll it had on her, to the point where she began distancing herself from him. A distance that he hadn’t seen since after the Sochi Olympics. A distance that didn’t make sense.  
  
But now, understanding what she was going through it all made sense. The forced laughter, the lack of a desire to make love, and the standoffish conversations were due to her private mourning. That she was grieving the hard loss of what could have been, while he was unintentionally boasting about how great coaching was and how he wanted to make a life out of it while Tessa remained fully supportive of it. What they were going through at the time he felt like was nothing, with the breakup coming out of nowhere. The breakup that he never completely got over, despite his reluctance to make the decision mutual.  
  
Guilt rose up in him, as he swallowed. He looked at his hand that rested on Tessa’s stomach, her sobs slowly starting to subside as her eyelids fluttered shut. There was his child in her womb at some point, a child that was supposed to have a future. Anger rose in him immediately, as he moved his arm away from Tessa and sat up. A panicked look was on Tessa’s face as she reached over to touch him, only to have him climb out of bed and start digging in his dresser drawers to get changed.

“Scott,” She whispered.  
  
“I can’t, I need air. I can’t fucking breathe.” His words were concise and choppy, a strain in his tone as he held back every ounce of frustration and anger.  
  
“I’ll leave, if you want me to,” She whispered, “I can—”  
  
“No. It isn’t you, I just need to breathe. Don’t worry about me, I--I just need a moment to think.”  
  
Within seconds he was walking out of the bedroom, with Rufus trailing closely behind him.

* * *

Tessa stood on the balcony, with a fluffy blanket wrapped tightly across her shoulders and her swollen eyes firmly shut. It had been hours since Scott got up and left and Tessa didn’t know if he would be coming back anytime soon. She didn’t blame him if he didn’t want to see her for a long time, especially after hearing about the burden she carried for years. It was all her fault, she was well aware, but at the time it felt like the only feasible option.

Scott carried his heart on his sleeve, outwardly expressed his emotions, and she knew her miscarriage would wreck him. Tessa remembered the day well when she woke up in the morning with painful cramps and the later discovery of blood. Just like that her perfect plan to tell Scott shattered, the new-found excitement at the unexpected pregnancy became obsolete, and suddenly she felt like she was abandoned to process this situation entirely. How could she have told Scott when she barely could comprehend it?

So, Tessa protected the man she loved more than ever and kept the burden to herself. Much like how she kept the pain of her legs or her longing for Scott when he was with Jessica, Cassandra, or Kaitlyn. She did the only thing she could do that day when her new world collapsed around her, she canceled the trip to Montreal last-minute, upset Scott by her abrupt change of plans, and proceeded to drive to the cottage with her phone turned off, unable to talk to anyone. She was emotionally wrecked and needed space to process things on her own. That was the beginning of the end for things with Scott, and soon they found themselves at a crossroad, their dynamic inevitably changing.

They started up their couple’s therapy sessions again, Tessa continuing to hold back the truth, which only angered Scott since he moved back to London full term to repair their relationship. She did try fighting for them, getting through her own burden for months, but it was a battle that couldn’t be won. Then one day, they decided to let go of each other romantically so they could keep their friendship intact. Perhaps they weren’t meant to be together at this point in their lives, and that was the reality of the situation. It didn’t necessarily mean, it didn’t hurt like hell, and that she would stop loving him.  
Although, Tessa got another chance at love after she and Scott fell apart. Mark came into her life, and she unexpectedly found a place in her heart to love Mark. He was caring, charismatic, and loving towards anyone important in his life; Tessa’s family even loved him, but one major thing stood out to Tessa when it came to Mark. He was the first man who fully accepted Scott and Tessa’s friendship and past and made an effort to connect with Scott. Soon enough Tessa found herself creating a life with Mark, and eventually bringing Ella into the world.

Tessa remembered the first trimester of her pregnancy well, and how it triggered memories from the past and brought fear that it would happen again. Tessa thought about Scott a lot during the pregnancy, with many of the what-if scenarios running through her mind the entire time and what if she got to experience her first full pregnancy with him. Yet, it was hard to think back to the what-if scenarios because she wouldn’t have Ella. And to Tessa, the thought of a world without Ella was impossible.

Her thoughts were quickly interrupted when she heard the characteristic sound of Rufus’s feet on the ground. An enthusiastic bark echoed from behind the closed door, causing Tessa to turn and see the dog wagging his tail at her. She smiled down at him, before picking up the blanket slightly at her feet and walking over to the sliding door. Her eyes didn’t leave Rufus until she saw the familiar Nike shoes standing approaching the door.  
  
Tessa’s body froze, as her eyes moved upwards to meet Scott’s eyes. His eyes were equally as puffy, there was a bit of a tremble to his lips, and his hair was sticking out in several different directions. He looked just as pained as Tessa did, his eyes having a slight glisten to them, rendering both of them speechless. She opened her mouth several times in an attempt to say something to him, but nothing came out, causing her to shift her eyes shamefully to the ground.

The door eventually slid open to the balcony, Rufus weaving himself through Tessa’s legs to stare out into the city. Tessa’s eyes remained fixed on the smooth payment, unaware that her body was shaking from the cold February air. She let a single tear slide to her cheek, before wiping at it and looking Scott in the eyes. “Scott,” She whispered, suddenly feeling like a small girl.

“I know,” He responded.

He outstretched his hand, reaching for hers that were clenched around the blanket. His hazel eyes beckoning for her to take his hand, and somehow giving her reassurance that despite everything that happened he was there for Tessa. So, she took it and had him lead her into the apartment with Rufus quickly following at their heels.

“I’m sorry,” Tessa said, as soon as they were settled on the couch. “I was selfish, I shouldn’t have kept information like that from you.”

“I can’t tell you I wasn’t upset with you earlier this morning because I was,” said Scott, “and who knows how I would have reacted to everything back then.” He began nervously twisting his fingers, as he stared down into his lap trying to collect his thoughts. The jumbled thoughts that he spent hours going through in his office at the rink, trying to figure out how he actually felt. “With everything I have gone through with Kaylie and her fertility issues, I can see what it can do to a person mentally. I can only imagine what you went through emotionally in such a short period of time. I just wish you told me because things would be different.”

Tessa nodded.

“I’m sorry for reacting the way I did when you said you weren’t able to come to Montreal. I’m sorry for all of the horrible things I said during our therapy sessions and the way I treated you, I knew better than that at the time, and I know better now... .but most of all I’m sorry that I let go so easily.”

She cleared her throat, shaking her head while picking at her nails. “Scott, you don’t have to say that. You know I was wrong for not telling you.”

“I know, I know you feel that way, but I’m okay. The only thing I wish is that we could have gone through it together.”

She bit her lip and looked down at her stomach momentarily before their eyes met. “There isn’t a month that goes by where I don’t think about what happened. I used to play the what-if scenarios repeatedly, and today I have been going through them again.”

Scott nodded his head, knowing that he played that similar game this entire day. He wondered how different everything would be if they weren’t long distance when she found out about her pregnancy or that he was there when she miscarried or that they worked through it together. But at the end of the day, it was too hard to play that game, and he was happy in his life right now. “You know, I have wondered how different we would be if the baby weren’t lost, but then I think about your beautiful little girl. The little girl that will be unstoppable in the world one day because she has so much of her in you. I don’t want to imagine an alternative reality without her.”

“You really love Ella, don’t you?” whispered Tessa blinking away tears.

He hesitated in his response, before nodding his head slightly. “Yeah, I do. I can’t help it, but love her and make sure she gets the happiness she deserves.”

“That’s the only thing I want too.”

They paused to stare at each other, both of their hearts heavy with emotion. It was a long day filled with hard talks about their past, which Tessa thought would lead to doubt and distance in their friendship. Instead, it didn’t. The conversation moved towards light topics, with Tessa’s heart fluttering when hearing out loud that Scott loved Ella. That there was someone that could love another man’s child just as much. She wanted Scott, now more than ever, yet she didn’t know if he could ever thoroughly look past their past.

“I know you’ll never forgive me Scott, but--”

He quickly cut her off, staring daringly into her bright green eyes. “The thing is, Tess, life is short. We can’t dwell on the mistakes in our past because that is unfixable. I don’t blame you for the miscarriage, I don’t blame you for not wanting to tell me even if I truly don’t understand why, but to me that is okay. I want to move forward, Tess,” He candidly said, reaching over to grab her hands.

“What are you trying to say?”

“I forgive you, Tess.”

She blinked at him rapidly, before letting more tears leak from her eyes. He squeezed her dainty hands before he grabbed ahold of her and pulled her close to his chest, as she let a muffled sob escape her lips. Scott rubbed her back and ran a hand through her hair, letting out a sigh and continued to hold her close. They talked about the fallout from their relationship, both shedding tears and apologizing to each other until they addressed absolutely everything they could. They were okay, great even, and better than they ever had been.

Eventually, Scott ordered a pizza, and the two watched episodes of The Office silently, after taking in the emotional day. As the night progressed, Scott wrapped his arm around Tessa and held her close to his side, her head finding its place in the crook of his shoulder. Being here in Montreal, curled up to Scott took her back to their comeback season, all those years ago. It felt as if no time had passed and it was just the two of them, relaxing after a long day of work. It felt right, with the exact sensation almost indescribable.

Tessa’s eyes soon grew heavy, and she found her eyes opening slower each time she blinked. She nuzzled herself closer to Scott, feeling him press his lips against her hairline. A sigh elicited from her when she felt him move the blanket, so it covered both of them completely.

“Do you want to go to sleep, Tess?” whispered Scott rubbing her arm.

“Not yet, I just want to lay here longer,” She murmured sleepily.

Scott smiled and pulled her closer to him, encompassing her petite frame with both arms. He continued to watch the next episode of the Office smiling and silently laughing at the ridiculousness of Michael Scott. His thoughts drifting in and out of the episode, as he reflected on the emotional day they had both went through. It had been a day.

His eyes grew tired, and he looked over to see Tessa peacefully asleep. Smiling down at her, he carefully took the blanket off of them and adjusted his position, so both arms were scooping underneath her. She let out a small groan at the sudden movement, with Scott nuzzling his forehead up to hers. “Shh, I got you. Let’s just go to bed.”

Tessa only responded by draping her arms behind Scott’s neck and let him carry her to his bed. He gently placed her down in it, covering her with the soft comforter, before climbing in next to her. He watched her steady breathing and peaceful expression, as he thought about everything they had been through the past few years. No matter what barrier fell in their way, they always found a way through and came out stronger. And because of today, because of the raw emotions, Scott finally felt that perhaps this was the last major hurdle for them. That the future was only bright.

* * *

Tessa and Scott both sat at the kitchen table the next morning sipping on their coffees silently while catching up on work on their laptops. Tessa went through countless emails from clients requesting slight alterations to the costume design, while Scott nibbled on his pen and took notes on one of his team’s practices. Everything felt different the next morning, both waking up refreshed and having nothing but light conversations. Scott was quick to climb out of bed and make them breakfast, while Tessa begrudgingly got up ten minutes later and went straight to the coffee.

“You don’t have to work today?” asked Tessa breaking the silence. She leaned back in the chair and let out a big stretch, before returning to her upright position.

Scott shook his head, jotting down a note. “They are working with some other coaches the next few days, while I work on the technical details. There is this part of the choreography they need to alter before Worlds, so they have been busy with Marie and Sam. For once, timing is on my side.” He grinned crookedly up at Tessa.

“You’re great at your job, you know that, right?” said Tessa. “I’m proud of you for finding that sense of fulfillment after we retired because I know you were worried post-Sochi would happen again.” She reached around her computer to squeeze his hand.

He continued holding onto her hand, his fingers weaving through hers. It felt like that perfect unison again, the unison they always felt on and off the ice. They smiled at each other before their eyes drifted back towards their computers never letting go of one another. Minutes passed with neither wanting to move until Rufus came over and whimpered at Scott to go outside.

“I know, buddy. It is that time of day, eh?” said Scott. He reluctantly let go of Tessa’s hand to give Rufus a scratch behind his ears. “Do you want to come with us, T? Probably just do the usual mile loop that we did in the summer.”

Tessa looked at her phone, frowning at seeing several text messages from her mom. “I should probably stay back. I should call Mom and check in on Ella. I still have my mom duties and stuff.”

Scott nodded, before standing up and sipping the last bit of his coffee. “Okay, I won’t be gone for long. Tell Kate and Ella I say hello, okay?” He pressed a kiss into Tessa’s hair, causing both of their hearts to flutter before he walked over to the door and began putting on his winter boots and coat. When he put on Rufus’s leash and placed his hand on the doorknob, he turned around to give Tessa a grin, joy evident in his eyes. “I’m happy you’re here, Tess. Even if it is only temporary.”

He was gone before she responded.

Tessa let out a sigh and opened up her phone to call her mom, balancing the phone against her ear with her shoulder while carrying her dishes to rinse off and place in the full dishwasher. The line stopped ringing, and she heard chatter in the background, and the characteristic sound of her pantry door opening and closing. “Hey, Mom. You there?” Tessa said. She opened up the door underneath Scott’s sink, eying the dishwasher soap to get the dishwasher running.

“Mommy!” cheered Ella’s voice on the other end of the phone.

A wide grin spread across Tessa’s face, as she filled up the dishwasher and carefully shut it. “Hi, sweetheart! What are you doing home from school?” Tessa glanced at the clock on Scott’s microwave and frowned at the time. It was a Friday and nearly pushing noon, Ella should be in school for another few hours.

“Grandma said no school because of snow and ice. So I got the day to play!” Tessa heard a squeal on the other side of the phone and Ella’s feet excitedly jumping on the hardwood floor.

“Lucky you! Did you get to play outside?”

“Yes!” shouted Ella into the phone, causing Tessa to move the phone a bit away from her ear. “I made snow angels. The way Scott taught me. I wish you were here and he was here, and we could all be playing. Like at Christmas, remember?”

Tessa laughed thinking back to the memory of the three of them playing in the snow. Scott was adamant about Ella learning the proper way to make a snowman, while Tessa stood in the distance laughing and secretly taking pictures. Well, only a secret for so long before Scott caught her and grabbed her by the waist and gently tossed her into the snow pile. “Of course, I remember. We will play in the snow when I get home tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay, Mommy. How is your work trip?”

“It is great. What are you going to do the rest of the day?”

“I’m about to go play in my kitchen, but I wanted to say hi and that I miss and love you. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow!” said Ella energetically, her happiness radiating through the phone to Tessa. “And maybe watch a movie and eat popcorn.”

Tessa smiled and turned around to lean against the counter, hearing the familiar hum of the dishwasher running. “I love and miss you too. Can you put Grandma on the phone? Have fun playing sweetheart.”

“Bye, Mommy! I will!”

She heard the phone being fumbled over to Kate and the race of Ella’s footsteps across the floor. Tessa could only picture the excitement on Ella’s face as she ran through the house and downstairs, with Sir Bunchkin’s wrapped firmly in her arms. She smiled at the thought of it, her heart aching a little at what she was missing back how. She focused her attention back to her mother who had been speaking, but Tessa’s brain hadn’t registered the conversation.

“Sorry, Mom. What did you say?” asked Tessa.

“I asked you how things are with Scott?”

“Oh,” Tessa said, her voice falling as she swallowed. “I mean yesterday was rough, but I think he is fine. We’re fine.”

“Was it a trip worth going on?” She asked a bit of worry in her voice. Tessa knew that her mom was concerned, especially due to the abruptness of this trip to Montreal and the lack of text message responses yesterday. “I just don’t want you--”

Tessa sighed and began walking towards the bathroom, interrupting her mother. “Mom, you have to trust me on this. I’m happy, Scott and I are happy.”

“Okay,” said Kate, reluctant to believe Tessa.

“I told him . .. told him about the miscarriage,” stated Tessa, already picturing the inaudible gasp from Kate on the other end.

Tessa thought back to the hardest weekend of her life at the cottage, where she expected to be alone through the miscarriage, only to find her mom and sister unexpectedly arriving to take measurements for a cottage renovation. They were shocked to see Tessa, unsure what to think of when she suddenly became vulnerable and collapsed on the ground, and she explained what happened. They got her through that weekend of darkness, but still questioned why she never told Scott.

“Are you sure that was the best idea?” questioned Kate.

Tessa paused for a second thinking of the other realm of possibilities, but in the end, she knew it was what she needed to do. “Yes because I want him. I want to have a chance with him in the future whenever it will be and now that everything's out in the open . . . “

“Do you really want this? Are you sure about this sweetheart?”

“I’m sure, Mom. I have never been surer. Scott is who I want, and I think Scott feels the same, at least I really hope he does.”

They soon finished up their conversation, discussing several things about the roads and how Ella had been. Yet, Tessa didn’t know that Scott came back to the apartment already and heard everything she said. That his heart nearly burst through his chest upon hearing that Tessa felt the same way he did. Everything was truly going to be different from here.

* * *

Tessa clanged around the dishes from the late dinner in the kitchen, music quietly playing in the background. The movement outside of her mind was tuned out, deep in thoughts. The way Scott looked at her, the way he arrived at her house and filled the void since Mark’s passing, and the way he fit into Tessa and Ella’s lives like the missing puzzle piece that finally was found. She knew he was destined to remain in their lives, but the thought was daunting, and she kept losing the courage to tell him.

  
Footsteps that echoed down the hallway quickly dismissed her thoughts when Scott emerged into the kitchen. He smelled fresh after his shower, less tense, and the way he looked in the gray pair of Roots sweatpants. The sweatpants that always managed to slip down and hang low on his hips. His brown, silky hair remained slightly aloof from the hasty towel drying, and he didn’t seem to notice his white crew neck shirt still contained a small pizza sauce stain from dinner the previous night. Giving Tessa a small smile, he grabbed his glass and starting to get himself some cold water from the fridge before bed, a routine that he had his entire life no matter where they were.  
  
“You didn’t have to do the dishes for me, T. You’re my guest,” He stated, using his free hand to point towards the dishes sitting next to the sink. Scott took a sip of water, setting it down on the counter, and grabbed a towel for drying not waiting for Tessa to respond. “So, leaving tomorrow, I guess.”  
  
Tessa bit her lip, nodding her head to the beat of the music. “If tomorrow is Saturday, then yes. I can’t be away from Ella for that long, I don’t want her to think I won’t be coming home.”  
  
“I get that. You’re her mother, she needs you,” He said quietly.  
  
“I just want her to be strong after everything that has happened.”  
  
“She’s strong, so strong, Tess. Every time I talk to her, I wonder how she has remained kind, caring, and loving without her father.” Scott grabbed a dish and started drying it, momentarily flickering his eyes over to Tessa. “I see her in you.”  
  
She swallowed the lump that developed. “It’s because of you, you know, she wasn’t that strong before you came into her life.”  
  
“I wouldn’t go that far,” cautioned Scott, “She always had strength, she needed to find it like how you have done several times throughout your life.”  
  
Tessa’s heart fluttered, trying not to blush when she handed the second to last dish to Scott. “You helped me find that strength again since Mark passed,” She admitted. “Helping me remember how strong I am was something Mark never managed to do, but always something you could.”  
  
“Oh?” It was the only thing that managed to slip from Scott’s lips.  
  
“Yeah,” She exhaled, moving onto the final dish.  
  
Silence drifted between the two of them while they focused on putting the final touches on the dishes. Happily, Tessa pulled the plug from the sink, draining the water and flicked the water off her hands. She reached for the hand towel and rested her hips against the sink watching Scott meticulously dry.  
  
“Scott, may I ask you something?” She asked, glancing down at her bare feet before meeting his hazel eyes. “You have this life with a successful career, loving family, and the potential to find someone great and maybe get the child you have always dreamed and I ....”  
  
Scott cut her off, as she stumbled to find the right way to phrase her question. “Did you know I made a promise to Mark, weeks before you got married?”  
  
She blinked, at a loss for words.  
  
“He told me that if something were to happen to him, to look out for you and any children you had together. He wanted you happy, he wanted someone to make you smile.”  
  
Tessa’s mouth dropped open slightly, trying to process what she was hearing from him. Mark talked to Scott? He told her that? She clutched onto the counter, trying to remain balanced, as the thoughts swirled around. “Is that why you showed up? Is that why you keep sticking around? For him and not for you?” Her mind spun with questions, begging to be answered.  
  
“God no, T, of course not. I always promised myself that I would be there for you no matter where we stood down the road. I got a call from your mother, letting me know what happened. I packed a bag, not much thought put into it, and didn’t remember what Mark asked of me until his visitation.” Scott took a second to pause, swallowing and making sure Tessa was okay.  
  
He continued. “Even though it may seem like all of this is to continue a promise to Mark, it isn’t. I did this because I care about you, I’ve fallen for you and Ella, and everything about your life. This is perfect to me, it’s compelling, it’s—“ Scott’s hands flailed in the air struggling to find words, but quickly stopped when he saw Tessa move slightly closer her palm resting on his thin T-shirt, right over his heart.  
  
“You’re what?” She whispered, the green eyes slowly drifting up to meet his.  
  
His words softly escaped his mouth, suddenly not afraid to express his own feelings. The same feelings he had kept buried within him for months. “I’ve fallen for you, Tess, all over again,” Scott nearly choked out, “and you haven’t left my mind since the minute you stepped into this apartment last July. You drive me crazy, the crazy that consumes me.”  
  
Scott paused attempting to catch his breath, his hand lightly grabbing ahold of her hand that remained resting on his chest. Emotion clouded his eyes and voice when he looked down at her. “You’re it for me, even if you don’t feel the same way.”  
  
Her other hand found its place behind his neck, her fingers running through the hair that began growing out. They stared at each other intently, emotions and tension running high. Tessa’s gaze glanced up at his lips. His lungs constricted, his knees felt weak, as her lips inches closer to his.  
  
“I don’t want you to ever leave us,” admitted Tessa shyly, “and I think I’m falling for you too.”  
  
Her lips were so close to his he could nearly feel the vibration of every word she spoke, leaving Scott at a loss for words. He stared down at her, a yearning to have her and all of her at this moment. His heart pounded in his chest, and the blood pumped through his veins in anticipation of what was going to come. “Tess,” whispered Scott, his hand stroking her hair away from her lightly freckled face. “You still are capable of leaving me speechless. I don’t know what to say.” His tone matched the softened expression on his face, his hands remaining in her hair.  
  
“Then don’t say anything,” She said utterly breathless.  
  
He didn’t have a chance to respond before she closed the narrow gap between them once again changing their life path. There was no going back from this; it was another turning point in their relationship, as both caved into each other’s internal desires. Tessa’s warm, soft lips melted into his own, making Scott feel weak in his knees. The kiss was tantalizing, a kiss that resembled anyone’s first real kiss. Both softly moving their lips in perfect unison, with Scott moving his hands towards Tessa’s waist to pull her closer and deepen the kiss.  
  
Kissing Tessa felt indescribable as if he finally caught the breath of fresh air his body lacked for years. He deepened the kiss, feeling her fingers lightly comb through his hair that caused a faint groan to escape him. “You don’t know how long I have wanted to do this,” said Scott, momentarily barely moving away from Tessa’s lips.  
  
His lips felt raw from the kiss, with every part of him yearning for more. Scott eyed her carefully, seeing her gorgeous green eyes beckoning for more as a small smile came across her face. He closed the gap once again, their mouths slowly opening to one another, his tongue slipping in to meet her own. A moan escaped through Tessa’s lips causing Scott to lift her up effortlessly and place her on top of the clean countertop, never once breaking the kiss or letting his hands leave her waist.  
  
Tessa trusted him with every part of her soul and the minute he re-entered her life, she knew everything would be okay. She saw the way he admired Ella, their undeniable connection, and the way that he cared and fought for her constant happiness. He loved her like his own, he admitted it to her. That was what Mark wanted for Scott to do, to protect them and make sure they were happy and safe if he were absent. To provide that sense of home, to fill the corners of the room with laughter, and to give them the loyalty they deserved in their life. In the end, it was Scott. Of course, it was Scott.  
  
His hands moved from her waist to gently feel the front of her shirt, causing Tessa ’s breathe to catch when his thumbs grazed over her breasts. Her eyes slowly opened, as Scott pulled away from the kiss their noses touching each other as they attempted to catch their breath. Tessa’s hands roamed to the front of Scott’s shirt, feeling his heart racing inside of his chest.  
  
“Scott,” She faintly said.  
  
“Tess,” Scott replied, his voice smooth as velvet. His hand ran through her hair, playing with the ends of it causing Tessa’s eyes to flutter shut. Over five years later and he still possessed that dangerously intoxicating pull on her; the pull that Tessa continued to crave.  
  
She didn’t further respond, but instead, she locked her lips against his again. Feeling his hands drift back towards her waist, pulling her closer against his chest. Her legs locked around his back, as Scott grinded into her. A small moan escaped her, every nerve and impulse firing throughout her. She wanted him, wanted him more than ever before. Her hands found the hem of his shirt, lifting it slightly to feel the warmth of his smooth, muscled chest.  
  
Scott’s lips moved from hers, kissing her cheek and jawline before drifting down her neck. He found the spot. The spot that drove her wild and made her tug at the locks of his hair, that made herself clench her legs that were wrapped around his waist. She felt the light brush of his teeth against her neck, the touch of his tongue, before being replaced by his lips. Her entire stomach clenched, the feeling of warmth continued to spread throughout her whole body. A feeling that she hadn’t felt in years, not since they broke up.  
  
“That spot still drives you crazy, I see,” chuckled Scott. He pulled away from her neck, curling her hair behind her ears. His hands cupped either side of her face, both catching their breath from the heated moment.  
  
Tessa flushed, continuing to run her fingers through his hair. “I’m not ready to go further, I--,” She admitted suddenly becoming shy and insecure. Tessa knew what her body craved, Tessa knew she wanted to feel Scott inside her, feel Scott’s lips everywhere. Yet, a part of her remained in fear of rushing, something she didn’t want until she was completely ready.  
  
“We don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with, and I’m okay with whatever you choose,” whispered Scott, placing a kiss on her nose.  
  
“I know,” She whispered, delicately tracing the side of his face. “But for now, I just want to kiss you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With American Thanksgiving tomorrow, I would just like to say how thankful I am for the support I have received on here and through Twitter (and my curiouscat). I never thought I would have people react and passionately love my story just as much as me. So thank you, I'm eternally grateful and inspired by the constant support.
> 
> This chapter was challenging for me to write and pushed me in so many ways, but in the end turned out to be my favorite chapter yet. I know I have had several questions inquiring about my favorite scene I have written? Well, the ending scene was it. I wrote that scene several weeks ago and have been eager to share it and finally I can! It was always planned to be at the end of chapter 15 and everything in this chapter had been planned since pre-chapter 1. The story will start to shift focus at this half way point and hopefully you continue with me for the ride. 
> 
> Special thanks to my betas for spending their time helping me fine-tune this chapter. I could not have done this without them. ❤️
> 
> (PS Sorry if the formatting was crazy at all. Something went nuts when I transferred this from the google doc to AO3. I did my best to fix it)


	16. Deliverance of the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa receives an urgent call from her mother, halting her romantic night with Scott. Scott pays a visit to Kaylie, to make amends from their previous encounter, only to have a surprise of his own.

Tessa remembered the first time she was kissed by Scott.

It was during their first dating phase (if one could even call it that) when they were eight and ten. Both Tessa and Scott had found themselves on a date night at the Ilderton Fair, with their parents talking several feet behind them and giggling about how cute they were. Tessa had been slightly embarrassed, by the conversation that occurred behind them, while Scott easily brushed it off more focused on showing his world to Tessa. He noticed Tessa’s reddened face within minutes and grabbed her hand to give it a tight, reassuring squeeze. “It’s okay, Tutu. It’s just us.”

He had held her hand the entire time at the fair. They moved between exhibits, while slowly drifting away from their families, with Scott continually gushing about why he loved Ilderton. Tessa had remained silent; she took in the entire fair and marveled at the happiness written in Scott’s hazel eyes. Even when he was little, he still displayed that deep passion about the things he enjoyed, with Ilderton only being one of them. Although, his focus abruptly changed when Scott saw that peonies were for sale, halting their walk. Tessa gave him a curious expression when he let go of her hand and proudly walked up to the booth to buy her a single flower.

“For you,” said Scott, which had caused Tessa’s face to blush an even deeper red. She accepted the flower and thanked him, only to suddenly feel his warm lips pressed against hers giving both of them their first kiss. It was filled with innocence; neither thinking much of the kiss afterward, despite their red ears and cheeks and the silence the rest of the time at the fair. It was that day that Tessa established her favorite flowers were peonies.  
  
They didn’t kiss again until after Tessa’s second surgery, shortly following their first Olympics together. Scott promised Tessa things would be different this time and he would be there for her in any way possible after her surgery. His promise was so profound that she found herself waking up with his hand threaded through one of hers and his face resting on the on her bed. She had croaked out his name, wakening him from his nap, and caused him to immediately stand up and hover over her, his hand smoothing her hair. “I’m here, kiddo, and I’m not going anywhere,” Scott had said repeatedly towards her, planting kisses on her forehead. Her lip had trembled, and tears began to form in her eyes when the pain of the situation started to set in.

An hour later he had kissed her again, but this time on the lips, with Jessica suddenly becoming irrelevant to both of them. Scott had cradled her face, their lips delicately moving, treating Tessa as if she was the most precious thing in the world. He pulled away from her, giving her a weak smile before Tessa blinked at him. “Thank you,” was all she said in return when she noticed the peonies sitting on the hospital table. Little did Scott know, that she was also thanking him for kissing her.

There weren’t other kisses until Scotland.

Scotland which was the beginning of their turning point in what they were when they crossed that line between friends to lovers. She remembered that moment clearly. The moment when she had to leave the room after she and Scott made eye contact during “What’s Love Got To Do With It.” She raced back to the room, a ball of emotions and wanting just to be alone when Scott called her name in the distance. She had frozen in place when he grabbed her waist, both of them staring intently at one another. That was when she had lost all self-control; she pressed her lips firmly against his overstepping the boundary they carefully had built.

The kiss was filled with that innate desire for each other, even though Scott had Kaitlyn. Although nothing had mattered at that moment, as Tessa was pressed against the cold, castle wall with her tongue shoved down Scott’s throat. They made out like drunken teenagers as if they had been deprived of a life without a kiss. A kiss that escalated to a fumbling of Tessa’s keycard to her room and then the quick discarding of their clothes. They made love that night, a slow, angst-filled session that suddenly woke up a part of them neither knew they had.

That was the kiss that changed everything between them.  
  
Yet, out of all of their kisses, no kiss compared to how Tessa felt right now. It felt as if that part of her soul that was missing for all those years finally came back to her. Every nerve sent signals down her body igniting parts of her that she forgot existed. She felt more alive than she had ever been in years.

Tessa hastily discarded Scott’s shirt in the kitchen, pulling away from his lips to stare at his chest. He gave her a mixed look filled with desire and confusion, as she unlocked her legs from his waist and slowly slid off the counter feeling her body press against his. Her hands splayed against his chest, as Tessa's eyes met Scott's, before trailing down his muscled chest. Her lips found the spot where his collarbone met his shoulder, with a smirk spreading across her face as she heard Scott suck in his breath. Wordlessly, she laced her hand through his and beckoned him to follow her.

Now they laid in Scott’s bed surrounded by a nest of pillows and fluffy blankets, neither bothering to move them off the bed. Their bodies were tightly intertwined, their legs threaded together and Tessa’s hands weaving in and out of his hair. Small groans came from Scott when her fingers tugged at the right spot in his hair, causing a sly smile to creep on her face as Scott’s tongue slipped into her mouth. Desire clouded her mind, and the only thing she wanted was him.

She didn’t know the last time she had been kissed or touched like this, and each touch sent a jolt of electricity through her. Tessa’s hands yanked on Scott’s hair one more time before one hand slowly moved down his toned chest. Daringly, Tessa’s fingertips began moving downwards feeling the small patch of hair that stopped at the edge of his sweatpants. Her index finger curled underneath the band to only be stopped by Scott pulling away from her lips and placing his hand over hers.  
  
His hazel eyes looked alarmingly at her. “Tess, didn’t you just say that you wanted to go slow?” He was breathless in his response, and his lips were slightly swollen from the amount of kissing. Scott released the hold on Tessa’s hand, feeling her hand move towards his hip bone and felt her other hand rest on his shoulder.

She exasperated and became slightly flustered Scott’s sudden retraction. She wiggled herself up the bed a bit getting a better look into his eyes while pushing her chest against his own. The touch of her breasts through her shirt was enough for Scott to let out a slight gasp, as they stared at each other. They could both feel each other’s hearts pounding, neither knowing what more to say to each other as their eyes remained connected.  
  
“I just want you,” whispered Tessa.  
  
“I know,” replied Scott, gently rubbing his nose against hers, “I have wanted you for such a long time too.”  
  
Neither could contain their desire as their lips met again, sending off an increased amount of sensation in their bodies. Tessa began shimmying her shirt over her head, with Scott immediately sensing what she wanted and helped her rip off her shirt. He threw it across the room, unsure where it would land before he stared down at her black lacy bra. Scott licked his lips, then looked at Tessa seeing the twinkle in her eyes. Their mouths found each other again, as his arms enveloped her and pulled her tightly against his chest, feeling her breasts closer against his chest. Except they both wanted more.   
  
Scott’s hands found the clasp of Tessa’s bra, pulling away from her lips to look her in the eye to see if it is okay. She smiled and nodded her head, giving him consent. Within seconds both her and Scott’s hands were yanking the bra free from her and throwing it in the opposite direction as her shirt. He pressed a light kiss on Tessa’s nose, before pulling away and staring down at her chest with his eyes slightly widening. Both hands cupped her breasts, his thumb delicately tracing the top of her nipple when he took in the sight of her. They were different than he remembered; they were fuller and larger, with small hints of stretch marks on either side of them, a side effect of her pregnancy.   
  
Tessa’s face flushed when she saw Scott examining her breasts, suddenly becoming self-conscious. “My body has changed since Ella,” She admitted shyly, squirming underneath Scott.  
  
“You’re still so beautiful to me, Tess,” He replied truthfully.   
  
He brought his face back up to hers, kissing her softly, his hands leaving her breasts to rest against either side of her face. Their lips moved innocently at first, but as they continued to kiss the intensity rose again. Scott’s lips began trailing down Tessa’s neck, pausing at the place that always made Tessa go crazy. He lightly nipped and licked there, grinning at the moan that Tessa was unable to contain, before drifting downward. His tongue made circular motions around her nipple, feeling the small grooves on it, and chuckling at the continued moans from Tessa.

“Scott,” whined Tessa, nearly causing Scott to lose himself right there, “please.”

He didn’t get a chance to respond when he heard the phone ringing from the living room, breaking the trance they were both in. Scott’s mouth left her nipple, as he sat up to stare out the open bedroom door with a frown on his face. Tessa’s hand immediately reached up to touch his shoulder, causing him to stare down at her. She looked like a goddess of some sorts laying down on his bed, her hair splattered everywhere with her top half wholly exposed. Scott couldn’t help but think of everything he wanted to do to her right then and there, temporarily forgetting how quickly she could turn him on.   
  
“Don’t worry about it. I can call back later,” whispered Tessa. She propped herself up on her elbows and raised her eyebrows at him inquisitively. “I’m sure it is nothing important.”  
  
Except as soon as the phone stopped ringing, it began ringing again.  
  
“I’ll go get your phone, okay?” asked Scott. “You should check it before we, uh, continue.” He gave her a quick kiss before scrambling out of bed, adjusting his noticeably tighter sweatpants. He returned with her phone seconds later, staring down at the lit-up screen at the missed call and text notification. There was a look of panic across his face, as he approached Tessa on the edge of the bed.   
  
“Scott, what’s wrong?”  
  
“Your mom. There are a dozen unread text messages and two voice messages,” swallowed Scott.

Tessa scrambled to the edge of the bed, taking her phone gently out of Scott’s hands. Her eyes flashed over the messages and the missed voice messages, all instructing Tessa to call Kate as soon as she got the chance. Something was going on with Ella. Tessa’s heart beat rapidly in her chest, as she stared at Scott with tears brimming on the edges of her eyes.  
  
“Mom needs me to call her about Ella. I’m sorry, I need to—” Tessa paused, as she fumbled to unlock her phone. Tessa chewed on the bottom of her lip while running a hand through her slightly tangled tresses in an attempt to calm herself down. She quickly dialed her mom’s number, before staring down at Scott’s navy-blue comforter thinking to herself that it would all be okay, at least that is what she hoped.

Scott walked over to his dresser, grabbing two shirts out of his drawer. He slipped one on, before handing the Moir’s Skate Shop shirt to Tessa who was sitting upright and shaking. “Tess, calm down. I’m sure everything will be okay,” soothed Scott. He rubbed her back for a few seconds, before placing the shirt in her arms. “Put this on, okay?”  
  
Her eyes flicked up at him in gratitude, before she maneuvered the shirt on as the phone still rang. Scott sighed and pressed a kiss to Tessa’s forehead, rubbing the back of her head, and hearing her let out a tense breath. He went to move away, only to cause Tessa to grab his hand and give a light squeeze, giving him the wordless signal him to remain close.   
  
“Tessa! Finally, I was hoping you would be calling soon,” said Kate’s voice on the phone.  
  
Tessa immediately straightened up in her spot, swallowing back some of her worries. “Mom? What is going on?” said Tessa. She couldn’t sit still any longer and stood up beginning to pace around the bedroom, meeting Scott’s eyes that were filled with concern. “What is wrong with Ella?”  
  
That was when she heard the cry from Ella on the other line, her heart immediately falling immediately knowing what was wrong. It was the type of cry Tessa immediately learned when Ella was a baby and came down with her first ear infection, that was different from her cries of being sad or physically hurt. Ella was sick.

“She came down with the stomach flu. It is going around the school, and several kids in her class have been out sick. She has a fever and has thrown up several times . . . I thought I would let you—” Kate paused, to attend to Ella who was beginning to sob uncontrollably in the background saying that she wanted her Mommy.  
  
Tessa’s heart continued racing, as she began finding her various belongings scattered around Scott’s room and blindly throwing them into her suitcase. She needed to get out of there as soon as possible, she needed to find the next flight or train ride out from Montreal to back home tonight. Tessa couldn’t bear the thought of not being there when Ella was sick when she needed nothing but Tessa's love and comfort.  
  
“It’s okay, sweetheart, Mommy will be home soon.” Kate soothed towards Ella, before moving her attention towards Tessa on the phone. “When is your flight getting in tomorrow?”  
  
“Not until mid-morning,” panicked Tessa. She ran out of Scott’s room towards the kitchen table to find her laptop. She ignored the worried looks from Scott, and nearly tripped over Rufus, who was trailing closely at her ankles. Her computer screen lit up immediately, and she began looking at flights from Montreal back home, her fingers tapping aimlessly on the side of the table as the Air Canada web page loaded. “I’m looking for a way to get home tonight. Maybe there is a late flight out or—”

Tessa paused when she heard Ella continuing to fuss.  
  
“Do you want me to rub your back, Ella?” asked Kate. That was quickly followed by Ella screaming and shouting for Tessa.  
  
Tessa gripped the phone tightly, her entire body tense when she saw that there were no more flights for tonight. She immediately began typing in a search for any trains that could leave tonight, already feeling doubt when she looked at the time. “Mom let me talk to her. Please.”  
  
Soon a muffled cry came onto the phone with the littlest voice saying, “Mommy?”  
  
Tessa quickly swatted away the tear that leaked out of the corner of her eye. “Hi, sweetheart. What is hurting?”  
  
“My tummy,” pouted Ella, “and I’m hot.”  
  
“Yeah sounds like you got a tummy bug. Have you thrown up any more?”  
  
“No, it just hurts,” whimpered Ella.  
  
Tessa suddenly felt helpless as she adjusted her phone and turned her attention away from her laptop. “I know it does, but I’ll be home first thing tomorrow morning. Can you try to be a big girl for Grandma Kate? She just wants you to feel better.”  
  
Ella sniveled in response.  
  
“Where are you right now?”  
  
“I’m in bed, but it hurts too much to sleep.”  
  
“I know, Ella, I know. What can I do to help you?” whispered Tessa recalling the first time she was very sick without her mom around.  
  
She had been busy training in Canton and caught one of the nasty stomach bugs that were floating around the Arctic Edge. She called in sick to practice for the week, reassuring everyone that she would be fine on her own, which resulted in Tessa curled in a ball on her bathroom floor dehydrated and sweating. That was the same night that Scott used his spare key to scoop Tessa off the floor and stayed with her until she felt better.   
  
Tessa’s thoughts were quickly interrupted when she heard the distinct sound of Ella blowing her nose and moving underneath her comforter. She heard Kate saying soothing words to Ella followed by Ella’s snivels calming down. Tessa’s heart continued to ache, as she stood back up and paced back and forth in the living room desperate to be there.  
  
“Mommy, can you promise me you won’t leave me again?” whispered Ella, her voice now shifting towards being tired.  
  
She swallowed and glanced over at Scott, whose forehead was wrinkled from his amount of worry. Yet, he kept his distance knowing that this was something only Tessa could fix. “I promise I won’t go on a trip without you for a long time,” said Tessa, avoiding eye contact with Scott. “Can you promise to continue being a big girl for me? I’ll be there before you know it, and I’ll take care of you.”  
  
“Okay, I’ll try.”  
  
“Good. I love you, Ella, so much. Try to get some sleep and feel better, okay?”  
  
“I love you too, Mommy,” replied Ella.  
  
The phone was handed back to Kate, who immediately assured Tessa that Ella would be fine, but would call if anything else came back. As Tessa disconnected the phone, she wiped at the corner of her eyes, and her body began shaking. Was she a horrible mother for leaving Ella for three nights so she could be with Scott? Tessa shook her head and pressed her face into her palms, letting out a shaky breath, which immediately prompted Scott to come up and pull her close to his chest.  
  
“Is she going to be okay, T?” murmured Scott against her forehead.  
  
“Yeah, she will be. I just need to get back to her as soon as possible,” replied Tessa. She buried her face into his chest, letting the familiar scent overtake her and ease the tension built in her body. “Am I horrible mother for leaving her?”  
  
“No, God, no,” firmly stated Scott.  
  
“Then why do I feel this way?”  
  
“Because you are worried about your little girl. There is nothing wrong with that, Tess, and it shows how much you care. You’ll be on your flight in less than ten hours and her in your arms in twelve. There is nothing you can do right now but know that she will be okay. Kate will take good care of her,” soothed Scott. He pulled her away from his chest, wiping away the tears flooding down Tessa’s face, before running his hand through her hair.  
  
Tessa swallowed and felt one of his hands cupped around her chin bringing her eyes to focus into his. A sense of guilt built in her, wondering if Ella would remember this the rest of her life. What if Ella thought Tessa wouldn’t be there for her? What if that would change everything? She knew her fears were irrational, that this would never happen again, but she wondered how much Ella would remember. Instead of being there for her daughter, Tessa was having one of the best nights she had in a while with Scott.  
  
“Don’t feel guilty,” whispered Scott, “neither one of us knew Ella was sick. You know that.”  
  
She nodded. “Scott?”  
  
“Hmm?” He said continuing to stare into her bright green eyes.  
  
“Let’s go to sleep.”  
  
They walked outside together to let Rufus out one more time, before holding hands and walking to his bedroom. Two nights ago, Tessa would have migrated to the guest room across the hallway from his, but she didn’t even think when she led him towards his bedroom. Rufus immediately curled up on his cushion at the foot of the bed, while Tessa shyly found her hastily discarded bra and shirt from earlier. She balled up her bra and shirt and tossed them into the suitcase, before setting out her clothes for her flight the next morning.  
  
She turned around afterward to see Scott laying in his bed staring at her. His hazel eyes were filled with happiness and admiration for her beauty inside and out. A look that rendered both of them breathless. After all this time he still could give her that look that gave her butterflies and took her breath away. A look that Scott had given Tessa since he first took her hand on the ice. Her heart fluttered inside her chest, as she broke eye contact with him and smiled downward at the ground. She felt the flush growing on her cheeks, as her hand came up to rest on the back of her neck.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” whispered Tessa. She continued to wear the oversized shirt of his, hair tangled, and her face free of any makeup. That didn't include the worry lines on her forehead or the look of exhaustion as her brain continued worrying about Ella.

“Because you’re beautiful,” replied Scott simply.   
  
She looked at him in the eyes, giving him a delicate smile. Using the oversized shirt Scott gave her as a nightshirt, she slipped off her leggings and crawled into bed next to him. Scott had stripped down to his boxers and was once again shirtless, both of them flushing as she snuggled into the crook of his arm. They stared at each other for quite some time, Scott’s fingers delicately tracing her arms prompting chills to run down her spine.  
  
Tessa angled her face closer to his lips giving him a sweet kiss, less heavy than before. As she pulled away, she ran a hand through Scott’s soft hair, before they told each other goodnight. Neither knew how to process the step they took in their relationship, but both were too stubborn to bring it up with each other. For now, they enjoyed their last night together for a while, neither leaving each other’s side the entire night. Their bodies were tightly intertwined, both wanting to hold as much as each other as possible. Despite Ella being sick and a bit of uncertainty about the future, they knew for now to cherish the present, and that was each other.

* * *

Goodbyes were never easy.

  
Tessa and Scott stood in the airport, a theme that was becoming common between them this past year. Their hands gripped each other’s tightly, as Tessa stared at the security gate, knowing well that she needed to go and see her daughter and Scott needed to head to work. Except they stood there frozen, staring ahead at the gate and not looking at each other. Neither had decided to bring up what happened last night, as both continued to process what it meant going forward. They knew how each other felt, they knew they were falling for each other, but once again they found themselves having distance between them. The very same distance that tore them apart once.  
  
There was an awkwardness in the air when they woke up to Scott’s alarm, with Tessa’s backside pressed firmly against Scott. She felt his hardness pressed against her exposed butt cheek since her sleep shirt managed to creep up in the night. One of Scott’s hands was wrapped tightly around her upper body, his hand cupping her breast overtop the shirt. They both didn’t say a word about that moment when they woke up quickly getting ready for the day with Tessa taking Rufus out while Scott scrambled up some eggs. Then they talked, normally, as if nothing happened.  
  
Which brought them to now, standing in the airport unsure of how to say goodbye. Unsure if things would go back to the way they were or if they irrevocably changed.  
  
Scott squeezed Tessa’s hand, before turning his head to look at her. “Call me when you know how Ella is doing?” He asked, evident that he was still worried.   
  
Tessa reciprocated the squeeze, giving her head a small nod. “Yeah, of course. Mom said she only woke up once in the night and threw up again but settled back down quickly. She’ll be okay, she’s a fighter.”  
  
“Sounds like someone else I know.” He crookedly grinned.  
  
“I’m sorry for my freak out,” stated Tessa abruptly changing the conversation. “I just have never been away from her when she was sick, and my thoughts were so jumbled.”  
  
Scott moved, so he was standing in front of her, trying to catch her gaze. “You never need to apologize for being a mother.”

“Thank you for understanding.”

He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair, giving her a look. “No, Tessa. Thank you for coming to see me, I will forever be grateful for you doing that for me. You have no idea.”

Tessa smiled softly. “Are you going to talk to Kaylie though, like we discussed?”

She thought about their recent discussion last night at dinner about Scott needed to talk to her and get that closure he needed. He admitted he didn’t end off his previous interaction with her well and knew from years of therapy that it wouldn’t be healthy for him to leave it like that. So, as Scott stared at her, the answer came easily to him. “Later this week, I’ll reach out.”  
  
“Good,” stiffly replied Tessa. She glanced at the time on one of the airport’s monitors before releasing Scott’s hand and shifting her carry-on suitcase next to her. “I better get going, boarding starts in twenty minutes.”  
  
“Yeah, I should probably get to work. God knows how much work the teams need and what Patch will put me in charge of. It is the final push before Worlds, which I’m sure you will remember.” He nodded at Tessa, who gave him affirmation.  
  
He opened up his arm to bury her against his chest, taking in the faint scent of her strawberry shampoo and the warmth emitting from her body. The hug quickly evolved to their old skate hug, their faces buried in each other’s necks as they listened to their heartbeats begin to sync up just like old times. The tension and awkwardness faded from this morning, as Tessa let out a sigh when she felt Scott’s hands run through her hair. If they could freeze time, they would freeze it in this position where they both felt completely at ease and that nothing could harm them. Except, the need for reality was cruel.  
  
Tessa pulled away from the hug and gave him a faint smile, before adjusting her purse slung over her shoulder. She pressed a kiss to Scott’s cheek, letting it linger for a few seconds, before giving him one last look. “Bye, Scott,” She softly said. “Good luck with the rest of the skating season.”  
  
Scott stood in his place watching Tessa wheel her suitcase towards the security gate. His heart beat fast in his chest, his cheek still feeling the sensation of her lips against it. He wouldn’t be seeing her for a little over a month, and after last night, he couldn’t bear the thought of it. With no hesitation, he began walking quickly towards her wanting to catch her before she handed the security guard her ticket.

“Tess!” He shouted, “wait, please.”  
  
She abruptly turned around her ticket and identification inches away from the security guard. “Scott, what is it?” Her lungs constricted as he approached her with his hazel eyes staring intensely inside of her own eyes.  
  
“This isn’t how we are saying goodbye, T.”  
  
Scott wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close to his face, kissing her lips with nearly as much passion as last night. Their mouths were frozen in place, as they both melted into one another before they began moving in perfect rhythm. Tessa felt Scott’s tongue trace her lip, causing her to let out a sigh before Scott reluctantly pulled back. Her hand raised to touch her lips, ignoring the looks from the security officer and the people around them. A blush spread across her face, as she stared at Scott’s eyes.  
  
“I’ll miss you, T. I’m coming home to you as soon as possible.”  
  
“Scott,” She opened up her mouth, only for his lips to quickly kiss her again.  
  
“Bye, Tess,” He murmured, his words vibrating against her lips.  
  
He turned around and walked away before Tessa could say anything else. She was in a trance when she handed her ticket information to the security guard and couldn’t remember going through security. Tessa clutched the necklace Scott gave her, that she hadn’t taken off, as she sat waiting to board the plane. There was a lot to process about what happened, a lot to figure out in the direction of their relationship, but there was one thing that she knew for sure; her heart was fuller than it had been in a long time. And she was happy.   


* * *

Scott climbed in his car after a long day of work, sighing as he stared at the time. He was supposed to be going over to Kaylie’s soon to talk to her about everything. It had been a week and a half since his discovery of Kaylie’s pregnancy, but in many ways, it felt like an eternity had passed. The situation was not handled well, on either one of their parts, and he recognized it. He cared about Kaylie, he would always care about her, and he didn’t want to leave things on a bad note with her. And in some messed up way, he was happy that she moved on and was creating a life for herself. Much like what he was doing with Tessa.

He dug out his phone from his coat pocket pulling up the text message conversation from Kaylie and sending her something that he was on his way. Scott chewed on the bottom of his lip, as he saw Kaylie’s read message notification come on and her typing a response telling him to drive carefully. He was surprised that she even agreed to do this, especially with the baby due to arrive any day now.

Scott put the car in drive and began slowly working his way out of the hustle and bustle of Montreal into the suburbs, following the route he religiously took for a year. He blasted The Tragically Hip from his radio, trying to tune out his anxious thoughts, the only thing grounding him was the thought of his daily facetime with Tessa later that night. They had been careful to keep this newly revisited aspect of their dynamic to themselves, especially since they still had a month to go before they could further explore it in person. So, they would text throughout the day and call or video chat each other every night, until one or both of them fell asleep over the phone. The distance was different this time, it felt easier in a sense, but perhaps that was just because of their undefined dynamic.

He pulled up in the familiar driveway, frowning at the unkept snowy sidewalks that led up to the front door. If Scott still lived here, he would have cleared and treated the concrete steps by now. Shaking that thought away, he turned off his car and carefully walked up to the front door being careful not to slip on the icy layer underneath the snow. Scott didn’t know what to expect. “You can do this, get that final bit of closure,” muttered Scott shuffling back and forth as he heard footsteps approaching the door.

Kaylie smiled at him widely, as she swung open the door, with her petite figure somehow managing to keep up with her enormous bump. “Scott, hi. How was your day?” She asked. The way the words slide off her tongue made it feel so domestic and just like old times when he came home from work stressed and slightly stiff.

“Productive, which is good since World’s are coming up. Yours?” Scott asked.

“Great, apart from my excessive nesting I have been doing the past few weeks. Making sure the baby’s room is ready and rearranging things,” She said, stepping her swollen feet away to open up the door wider. “Come on in, you must be freezing.”

He stomped the snow off his boots, before stepping inside and gazing around the house. It had been a while since he last stepped foot in here. He expected it to remain the same, but instead, it almost felt like a completely different house. The original hardwood floor had been replaced with vinyl planks, that Kaylie was always adamant about doing but was reluctant to do it with Rufus’s nails. The bluish-gray walls were now replaced with a creamy white color and from a quick glance down the hallway, he could see that the living room had been rearranged. The only thing that remained the same was the large front hall mirror, which was the first thing Scott hung up when they moved in.

Scott swallowed as he stood in the doorway, cautiously removing his boots as Kaylie awkwardly stood in the entryway with her arms resting on top of her stomach.

“You, uh, changed the place up quite a bit. New floors I see?” said Scott. He gestured to the ground, as he moved his boots to the mat next to the front door trying not to be bothered by the men’s boots that were already sitting there. He proceeded to remove his coat and mittens and hung them on the coat hook above the mat.

“Just wanted to redo several things and start fresh. You know the interior designer in me and all,” She casually said. “Do you want a cup of coffee or tea?” Kaylie began waddling down the hallway, ushering him to follow.

“Coffee is fine, thanks,” said Scott slowly following.

The kitchen was also completely redone from cabinet layout to backsplash, which put another pit in his stomach. He remembered helping Kaylie with the first remodel and how much pride he had grabbing that sledgehammer and taking out the old countertops. He called himself the Canadian version of Chip Gaines that could do anything in a house renovation--which was utterly false.

Scott sat down in the bar stool watching Kaylie start brewing the coffee with the Keurig machine, before walking to the fridge.

“Still take the coffee the same? A splash of almond milk?” She pulled out the carton in the fridge giving him a small smile.

“Yeah, I do, thanks.”

Kaylie placed the milk in front of him, before fetching his coffee and a spoon setting it in front of him. She leaned against the other side of the counter eying him carefully as he fixed himself the coffee, suddenly clutching her stomach. A small grunt of pain escaped her lips, as she practiced the deep breathing exercises that she learned from her birthing classes.

Scott peered up at her giving her an alarmed look. “Kay, you alright there?”

“Yeah, just a Braxton Hicks. Those are common in the final weeks.” She straightened herself up a bit and winced.

“Why don’t we sit on the couch? Would that be comfier?” suggested Scott.

Kaylie was quick to agree, and the two of them slowly walked into the living room taking opposite sides of the couch. Scott sipped on his coffee for a while, staring at the blank television screen, feeling more uncomfortable than ever before being in this situation. He sighed and drummed his fingers on the side of his coffee mug, glancing over at Kaylie who was arranging pillows to get comfortable.

“So,” She started settling back into the couch and looking over at him. “I’m sorry for leaving you in the dark about this, uh, little miracle.” Kaylie rubbed her stomach and smiled down at it, before locking eyes with Scott her expression suddenly growing sad.

“It was quite the shock,” admitted Scott, placing his coffee cup on a coaster.

“I’m sorry about that.”

“Look, Kay, how I reacted to you and Peter’s happy news was unfair on my part. I guess I was just so angry at the universe for not giving us the opportunity to experience having a child together, I--” He paused, his hands flailing around as he attempted to find the right words of how to continue. “I was selfish in how I treated you and how I couldn’t be happy for you.”

“You had every right to feel that way, Scott. I wanted to tell you, but we never kept in touch after the divorce was finalized I felt awkward reaching out to you and telling you.”

Scott shrugged his shoulders. “Honestly? You never needed to tell me. It is your life now, a life that I’m not involved in anymore. I will always care about you and respect you, and I want you happy. Are you happy?” He stared into her crystal blue eyes, seeing tears around the edges of them.

“Yeah, I am. I really am happy. Peter came into my life, and it just happened, I can’t explain it. I didn’t expect to move on this quickly, and I never expected this.” Kaylie pointed down towards her belly and gave it a small rub, before meeting Scott’s eyes. “There is a part of me that will always wish that we could have created this world together.”

“Me too,” whispered Scott sincerely. He gazed at Kaylie’s stomach remembering the thoughts of their future together they once had. “I’m glad you’re happy, Kay because you deserve it.”

“You deserve it too,” smiled Kaylie back at him. “And look, I shouldn’t have used Tessa against you like that. That wasn’t fair, and I’m sorry about that.”

Scott oriented his body to directly face Kaylie. He gave her a nod, “it’s okay, Kaylie. I know you didn’t mean it.”

“So Tessa and you, are you--?” She raised an eyebrow at him, insinuating what she meant with her hands. Scott blushed a deep red and immediately covered his neck with one of his hands, causing Kaylie to giggle. “I knew it!”

“What? How?” exclaimed Scott.

Kaylie shrugged. “Ever since you came back from that visit in May I saw something that changed in your eyes. You finally found some sort of happiness, a happiness that I hadn’t seen in you for quite some time. It was only a matter of time, honestly.”

Scott gave her a look, before rolling his eyes and shaking his head. Both of them began laughing like old times, with Kaylie once again succeeding in being more inquisitive than Scott ever was. Kaylie was one that could pick up on any slight change between people, almost as if she had a sixth sense. She knew where to make connections, and admitted that she knew about Tessa and Scott dating in the past by body language alone.

Kaylie broke the laughter before a serious expression came across her face. “Are you happy with her, Scott?”

“Yeah, I really am. Tessa and her little girl are incredible, I can’t begin to explain it.”

“Looks like we are both getting what we wanted,” sadly smiled Kaylie.

“Yeah, I guess we finally are,” He whispered.

They finished their conversation with Kaylie asking how his teams were doing and wanted to know if Rufus was still spoiled. Scott asked if Kaylie made her frequent business trips to clients in Toronto and Vancouver and asked if her parents were doing well. It became a casual conversation, almost as if it were two friends catching up. Soon enough he was excusing himself to leave, both of them standing up from the couch as Kaylie led him to the door. Scott and Kaylie both felt good, they both felt like they obtained the final piece of closure they needed on their former relationship. Both still carrying their care and respect for one another.

“If you ever want to see Rufus, you can always give me a call,” said Scott, as he zipped up his coat.

“Yeah, I--” Kaylie suddenly paused.

She looked down and saw that her leggings were thoroughly soaked. Her eyes widened, as she clutched her stomach with Scott alarmingly looking at her from the door, his hand still resting on the doorknob. He gave her a curious look before looking down at her pants with his own eyes widening at her gasp.

“Oh my god,” She stated, “my water just broke.”

“Do you . . . is there anything that I can do?” fumbled Scott. “How are you feeling? Are the contractions starting?” He walked towards her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and stabilizing her sudden imbalance.

“Scott,” whispered Kaylie, clutching onto his arm, “I’m going to have a baby, I’m going to be a mother.”

“A little bit later for that realization, eh?” joked Scott, only to feel her grip tighten on his arm as the first contraction started coming through.

Kaylie cried out in pain, her free hand clutching her stomach as she hunched over. Tears began racing down her face, as panic started setting in.

“Kay, do you need me to call Peter? He can meet you at the hospital unless he is on his way home from work?” Scott frantically said.

Kaylie shook her head furiously. “No, he is at a business meeting in Calgary. He won’t--ah, fuck this hurts.” She winced at the sharp pain, trying to calm herself with the breathing motions she learned. “Scott, you’ll have to drive me to the hospital. Can you get my phone off the kitchen counter and grab the hospital bags upstairs? They are in what used to be the first guest bedroom.”

“Yeah, of course. Let’s get you sitting down,” Scott said, leading Kaylie to sit at the bottom stair. His eyes darted towards a pair of slipper boots and handed them to Kaylie, instructing her to put them on, before he raced upstairs towards the former guest bedroom. He didn’t have a chance to stare into the nursery, that he once dreamed of it becoming, but instead remained focused in snatching the hospital bags and returning towards Kaylie who let out another cry of pain.

This was really happening, and Scott didn’t know what to do.

* * *

“Mommy, look at my snow angel!” exclaimed Ella.

Giggles erupted from her mouth, as she bounced up and down eager to show off her creation to Tessa. It was yet another snowy day in London, Ontario as the end of February approached. Kids were enjoying their last few weeks of snowy days proclaiming they never wanted it to end, while parents continued to grumble about having to shovel their driveways or school being closed due to the snow storm. Laughter filled the streets with kids building forts and snowmen or chasing each other down the street with a fresh, compacted snowball.

Tessa paused, holding onto her shovel while gazing over at Ella, who was already falling back in the snow to have another snow angel. “That looks beautiful, Ella! You keep getting better and better at making them!” She called towards her daughter, a smile spread on her face.

“Thanks to Scott! He is the best at making them,” Ella called. Her arms and legs flailed back and forth as she energetically made yet another snow angel.

Scott.

The thought of him put a childish grin on Tessa’s face and a giggle to always escape her lips to the point where she felt like a teenager in a new relationship. She woke up with a sweet “good morning” text from Scott, who was up at the early morning hours for skating, and would spend her nights talking to him late on the phone after Ella went to sleep. They would speak until Tessa could hear the soft breathing on the other end of the phone, knowing the peaceful expression on his face and how his mouth hung slightly ajar. She wanted to be in his arms at night, falling asleep in that steady rhythm they used to be accustomed to.

It was alarming how quickly she fell back to this desire, a part of her afraid that it would end in disaster like the first time they tried a long distance relationship. Yet, this time it wasn’t back and forth between weekends. This time it involved a child, a widow, and someone recently divorced. Although in the grand scheme of things it didn’t matter anymore, they were happy, and they were seeing if this was something that would work out in the end. And for some odd reason, Tessa knew that this time had to be forever.

How many times had the opportunity presented itself over their years of history? Through every relationship, marriage, or fling they had in the past they always found themselves left with each other.

Tessa’s phone began ringing, abruptly interrupting her thoughts. She dug into her coat pocket, gazing at Ella who was now practicing making snowballs before she saw the caller ID. The smile grew larger on her face, when she saw the candid photo she took of Scott on his Montreal balcony staring at the sunrise cover the screen. She took the picture the morning she left Montreal, right before he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her down on his lap while they watched the rest of the sunrise.

She remembered that feeling of his warm arms around her, his manly scent rubbing off on her. His chin rested on top of her shoulder, his warm breath tickling her ear, as they silently watched the street lights turn off as the sun woke up in the city that was once their home together a long time ago. It was just them at that moment, no one else around. It was their moment, in the city they grew to love together.

“Hey there, fancy seeing you call,” crooned Tessa, propping the phone against her ear. “Did everything go well with Kaylie?”

“Uh, well about that,” said Scott, “there is a bit of a situation.”

“Since when do you not fucking accelerate through yellow lights?” shouted Kaylie, before she let out another cry of pain. “Jesus Christ, Scott.”

Tessa froze in her place, dropping the shovel on the sidewalk. She knew that deafening cry from anywhere. It was one that still resonated with her after hours spent in the hospital, when she rolled her eyes before being induced at the exaggeration from women, only to have the same cry escape her. The sound of wincing, the sound of being uncomfortable could just mean one thing: Kaylie was in labor.

“Kay, knowing my luck I’ll get pulled over when we can’t afford to do that unless you want him to be born in the car. Do you want that?” replied Scott, tapping on the steering wheel loudly enough that it echoed through the phone. She heard Kaylie start settling down as the contraction subsided, with some deep breaths being let out. “You good?”

“No, no I’m not,” said Kaylie emotion running heavily. “What type of moron asks if a girl in labor is okay during a contraction?”

“I’m sorry,” replied Scott.

“No you aren’t,” sharply replied Kaylie, wincing in pain as the contraction started to settle. “You call your damn girlfriend, and put her on speakerphone, instead of focusing on getting me to the hospital?”  
  
Tessa cleared her throat and awkwardly listened in on the conversation unsure what to do. She gazed over at Ella whose lips were beginning to turn blue from the cold breeze. Finishing clearing the snow from her driveway and walkways would have to wait. She heard the tapping of Scott’s fingers on the wheel, as the divorced couple sat in silence in the car.

“Mommy can we go inside and have some hot chocolate?” called Ella.

“Yeah, come on sweetheart. It is getting cold,” replied Tessa, covering the phone with her free hand. She grabbed the shovel off the ground, and the two began walking towards the back door that led to the mudroom, being careful that Ella wouldn’t slip on any slick spots while trying to determine if she should hang up or stay on the line.

Tessa helped Ella out of her snow-covered clothes, as she listened to the painful silence on the other side of the phone with the occasional sound of Scott’s indicator in his car. It was impossible for this to become more awkward. She kicked off her winter boots and began hanging up Ella’s coat on the hook before she heard another muffled cry escape from Kaylie’s lips.

“We are almost there, Kaylie, hold on,” instructed Scott, but the worry was evident in his tone. Tessa could nearly picture the situation in her head; Scott’s hands clutched around the wheel, his forehead wrinkled in worry, as Kaylie sat next to him trying to remain calm and not scream at him in frustration. “Hey, stop crying. It will be okay.”

“No it won’t,” sobbed Kaylie, “I’m having a baby, and I’m scared out of my mind. Both Peter and my parents are out of town and who knows if they are going to get here on time. I’m all alone, don’t you get it? I can’t do this, I just can’t.” She sniveled and began letting out another cry, between contractions, suddenly unable to catch her breath.

“Kaylie?” blurted Tessa brave enough to make her voice heard again. “Can you listen to me?”

She heard another snivel and a sigh from Scott.

“I know exactly how you’re feeling. I felt the same with my daughter,” Tessa swallowed. She shuffled out of the mudroom and glanced over at Ella, who was busy playing with some of her toys. “Giving birth is a scary thing, but when you hear the first cry of her child, it is worth every second of pain. You can do this, I know you can.”

“Out of all the potential people I could have with me, I have my ex-husband. The same marriage where everything fell apart because we couldn’t have this together. Is this some sort of joke on the universe?” scoffed Kaylie, before letting out another wince.

Tessa bit her lip, before walking over to her fridge to warm up the milk for her hot chocolate. “The universe sometimes lacks sanity,” stated Tessa lightly, as she heard Kaylie let out another wince in pain. “I have no doubt in my mind. I know you can do this, Kaylie. Think of all of the brave women before you.”

“I just feel so alone, without Peter, without my mom,” whispered Kaylie.

“Know you aren’t alone,” said Tessa, “you will have a huge support system at the hospital with you. I’m sure Peter will get there before you deliver, and know that if you need me, you can call me. You got this, Kaylie, you are strong. Just focus on delivering that beautiful little boy, the boy that will completely change your world. I know Ella changed mine and I would never take that back.”

Kaylie sniveled before she writhed in pain again. “It hurts, Tessa, it hurts so much,” Kaylie mustered out, before hyperventilating as another contraction came through. Tessa could only picture Kaylie clutching her stomach and squirming in the driver’s seat and Scott’s alarmed look as he tried to hurry them to the hospital. “I just want this over. I can’t do this, not the pain.”

“Breath, Kaylie, breathe. Remember what you learned in your classes, yeah? Take a deep breath in, just focus on breathing and nothing else.” Tessa’s mind drifted back to the time she was in labor, and she kept hearing her mom and Mark say the same things to her while rubbing her back in the delivery room. She had a support system surrounding her in the London hospital, and Tessa could only imagine what Kaylie felt like with her family so far away.

“We are almost there, Kaylie,” reassured Scott.

Tessa blinked away her own tears that were forming. She remembered the first moment that she held Ella after delivering her. It was a moment a moment Tessa wished she could have again with Ella, to feel the small bundle placed on her bare chest and finally be able to get that feeling of undying love. “Kaylie, listen, before I get off the phone, just remember this will all be worth it in the end. Just focus on your son, focus on seeing his tiny toes and fingers and hearing his cry for the first time. He is yours and Peter’s little miracle and enjoy every moment after you see him. You’ll want him to be little forever.”

“I’m about to be all alone,” said Kaylie.

“No, you aren’t. You are never alone, remember that, okay? You have Scott with you,” said Tessa.

She heard the sound of the car turn off, as the phone switched from BlueTooth back to the normal call mode. Scott’s breathing was heavy, as Tessa heard the familiar sound of his door opening and the sounds of ambulances passing by the front of the hospital. “Scott?” Tessa faintly asked.

“Yeah, Tess?” His voice was slightly uneasy, and Tessa could only imagine the paleness of Scott’s face.

“Stay with her until Peter arrives, okay? I know it is cruel, I know the what-ifs are running through your mind, but she needs someone.” Tessa swallowed the lump in her throating, a part of her fearing that Scott witnessing this would change things between them. That maybe these past few weeks of bliss would end and he would realize that he could find someone where they could both experience pregnancy for the first time. It was a something that Tessa knew she could never experience with Scott.

“I will,” whispered Scott, “thank you, Tess, for everything.”

Tessa couldn’t say anything else before the call disconnected. She sighed and placed her phone on the kitchen counter, running both hands through her hair and shaking her head. What sort of joke was the universe playing on all three of them? She immediately discarded that thought from her mind, focusing her attention back on the hot chocolate she was making for her and Ella.

Everything happens for a reason.

* * *

He called her at nearly two a.m.

It wasn’t like Tessa was truly asleep; in fact, she had been tossing and turning since the minute she slipped under her bed sheets, her thoughts consumed by the idea of Scott delivering a baby with his ex-wife. Anyone would have snorted at the irony of the situation, but it still continued to hit close to home for Tessa. What if this altered their relationship once again? She proceeded to chastise herself for overreaching her thoughts, trying to focus on Ella and the abundance of emails that never ceased to pile up. It worked, temporarily, but during the quiet moments a lump would form in her throat and butterflies would swarm around her stomach. It was inevitable that she would think about this.

Her sleepy eyes glanced over at her phone, as she fumbled to snatch it off its charger on the nightstand. “Hello?” Tessa croaked, immediately clearing her throat.

“Hey,” breathed Scott.

Tessa smiled slightly, as she rolled back onto her bed and stared up at the ceiling in the dark room. “Hey yourself.”

“Sorry, I didn’t realize the time until now. I know that you were probably asleep.”

“It is no big deal, I couldn’t sleep anyways,” shrugged Tessa.

“Restless?” He smugly said, with Tessa picturing him wiggling his eyebrows as he said that comment.

Tessa let out a small giggle, affirming Scott’s thoughts. She adjusted her phone in her hand, before glancing over at the moonlight shining in through the sliver of her bedroom curtain. “Did everything go well?”

“Yes, everything went well. Kaylie had a healthy baby boy named Michael Patrick,” swallowed Scott, emotion weighing heavy in his tone. “I, uh, was there through the whole delivery process. Peter came halfway through the pushing, but I couldn’t leave her not after everything that we had experienced together. I can’t even begin to explain how eye-opening and beautiful it was to witness that.”

Nerves began racing through Tessa, her heart quickening its pace in her chest after hearing Scott say those words. It was right for him to stay the entire time, and Tessa knew it was just for him to feel that emotion watching a new life being brought into this world. She could only picture Scott’s wrinkled forehead during the delivery process or the teary expression as the newborn was placed on Kaylie’s chest for the first time. The moment that was nothing but magical and captivating that would change your entire perspective on life itself. And Tessa realized that she still wanted to have that moment with Scott, that she wanted to experience having a child with him and seeing him immediately fall in love as soon as he laid eyes on it. She wanted the entire future with Scott, she wanted to build the rest of her life with him and Ella.

“Life is certainly beautiful,” whispered Tessa in response, “and that moment shows one of life’s greatest accomplishments. I’m happy you got to witness it, and I know it must be hard seeing what you always wanted but having the baby, not yours.”

“Well, the baby’s middle name is the same as mine. I guess it was a present from them for helping bring Michael into the world?” laughed Scott trying to brush off his emotion. “Although, I didn’t really do much but drive Kaylie to the hospital and make sure she had ice chips, while I waited for Peter to arrive.”

Tessa shook her head and rolled her eyes, thinking back to how Mark tried to be helpful but was just as useless as Scott. Men didn’t really know what to do in that situation, how to understand the sheer amount of pain women went through during each contraction but were good at taking any colorful language that may escape the soon-to-be mother’s mouth.

“You did more for her than you would ever know, Scott. You made sure she wasn’t alone during one of the scariest times of her life.”

“When I left the room, I turned back to look at Kaylie and Peter who were gazing down at Michael,” started Scott taking the time to pause and recollect his thoughts, “instead of being upset about Kaylie moving on and getting to become a mother, it just made me happy for them. She deserves to live a beautiful life with her family, she deserves this. And it made me realize one thing.”

“Oh?”

“That I just want to be with you and Ella,” He firmly said, “I know we were going to have this conversation when I came back into town, but I want to move forward with us, Tess. I want to see if we can really be together this time, and I want to do it right.”

Tessa’s face softened immediately hearing his words, feeling her eyes start to sting with tears forming. “What are you saying, Scott?”

“Instead of a few weeks in Ilderton and London during my time off, I’m spending my entire summer with you and Ella. Now, if that means I have to sleep on my Maple Leafs bedspread at my parents and drive in . . . wait, Virtch, why are you laughing?”

She couldn’t stop giggling, as she placed a hand over her mouth. “Because Scott, because you really think that I would want you anywhere else but here in my place?”

He breathed out a sigh of relief. “You know, I’m happy you said that because crashing at my parents' house is kind of a loser thing to do when you’re approaching forty in a few years.”

Tessa looked around her newly redecorated room. Several days after she got back from Montreal, she knew that she needed to redo her bedroom to get a fresh start. So, she moved her furniture set and mattress to the guest room and started fresh, all the way down to new bedding. The new furniture, paint color, and layout of the bedroom almost made it feel like a brand new room. It was a way to dictate the start of a new relationship, the beginning of moving forward.

She cleared her throat, as she sat up in bed looking at the vacant side next to her in her new bed. “So you’ll stay with us? I promise there has been no return of the antique bed. That room is completely redone.”

Scott laughed, “There’s no place I’d rather be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it is time for Chiddy and the ring to come back into question, yes? 
> 
> Anyways...
> 
> I got to completely honest with you guys, I took a break from writing for a couple weeks. Somewhere along this way I lost my writing mojo and the recent discovery in the fandom kind of made it all fall apart. I didn't want to continue, I wanted to put this story on an indefinite hold because my inspiration had left me. It was devastating, it pained me to feel this way, and if you follow me on Twitter you know well how deep I sunk. Except, I picked myself back up faster than I could ever imagine. I spent the past several days rediscovering my love for writing and this world I created and well, this chapter happened. 
> 
> Special thanks to Tutu, Angela, and mycatcanwrite for listening to me become hesitant about finishing this story, but at the same time giving me positive encouragement. Thank you to all of the comments on here, my curiouscat, and Twitter who expressed their love for this story and world. This family needs a happy ending, yes? 
> 
> So don't worry, I am back and back in love with this universe. Also, can you believe that this story is over 500 kudos? I can't and I continue to be in shock. Wow, thank you guys for the love! And welcome aboard to all newcomers. :)
> 
>  
> 
> Comments are always appreciated and motivational. 
> 
> Twitter: @virtue_moir_415  
> (I also have a curiouscat where I frequently answer questions and sometimes drop minor spoilers)


	17. New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott visits Patrick and his wife, Liz, in Vancouver as World's wraps up ending the skating season. Upon the visit, Scott realizes that Patrick still holds onto something from the past that will forever connect Scott and Tessa.

_“What is that?” asked Liz raising a curious brow, as Patrick walked into their hotel room._  
  
_His hand clutched the small ring box that Scott gave him, shortly after Tessa and Mark’s engagement party. Patrick hadn’t dared to look inside the box, knowing that it would only cause his own emotions to come undone at the sight of what could have been. He remembered helping Scott decide between the last two contenders on the ring setting and what should be engraved on the inside of the band. The excitement on Scott’s face when he paid the remaining balance for the ring, only to have it all go to waste. The ring was meant for Tessa and only Tessa._  
  
_Scott’s lip had trembled, when he grabbed the ring out of his safe and shakedly handed the box to Patrick nearly an hour ago. “If only things were different,” were the only words that came out of Scott’s throat before he was rendered speechless. The only thing Patrick could do was give Scott’s shoulder a squeeze, before taking the ring box out of his hand._  
  
_Now Patrick stood in the hotel room, trying to mentally recover from the emotional moment with Scott. He pinched the bridge of his nose, closed his eyes, and slowly shook his head as he attempted to recover from that emotional moment he witnessed from Scott. He wished things were different too, despite Tessa finding a great guy._  
  
_“Pat, what’s wrong?” Liz’s eyes widened, as she climbed off the bed and walked towards him. She lightly touched Patrick’s shoulder caused his eyes to slowly open to meet hers._  
  
_He held up the ring box and gave her a sad look. The unspoken words were written in Patrick’s eyes which caused Liz to immediately recognize what had happened for Patrick to have that box. Her hand raised to cover her mouth, that was now in an “o” shape, as she shook her head with tears prickling the corner of her eyes. Neither realized that Scott held onto that ring for that long, neither realized Scott still clung to the hope that Mark was only temporary and that soon enough he and Tessa would return to one another._  
  
_“He finally is letting go,” whispered Liz._  
  
_“Yeah,” replied Patrick, running his thumb over the top of the velvet case. “I don’t know if he wants to, but Scott knows that he needs to.”_  
  
_“Why did he hold on so long though? Wouldn’t it have hurt?”_  
  
_Patrick shrugged his shoulders, strolling over to sit on the edge of the bed. He loosened his tie and undid the top button of his dress shirt, placing the ring box next to him He glanced at the box from the corner of his eye, then let out a sigh. “When Tessa first started dating Mark, I think Scott assumed it wouldn’t last since no relationship ever did. None of her previous boyfriends lasted in the past, and all of his relationships fell apart because no one could accept his connection with Tessa. I think we all were under the impression that there would never be room for anyone else.”_  
  
_Liz nodded and crossed her arms tightly against her chest. “Yet there was room for Mark.”_  
  
_“Yes, he was the first significant other that fully accepted and respected Tessa and Scott’s relationship. That actively made an effort to connect with Scott,” replied Patrick, rubbing his eyes suddenly feeling more tired than he originally thought. “Scott tried to dislike Mark, tried to find a flaw in him, to reassure himself that Tessa would see it and it would fall apart. Except, he actually likes Mark. He respects him and knows that Mark will take care of Tess.”_  
  
_“So he gave up that hope,” calmly said Liz, “even though he is still in love with her.”_  
  
_Patrick nodded, “I don’t think one can fall out of love with Tessa Virtue quickly. Especially since he has been in love with her for over twenty years. Even if she gets married, a part of him will always be in love with her.”_  
  
_“Does Tessa know? Does she realize?” Liz began pacing back in forth in front of Patrick, a part of her desperate to know that both Scott and Tessa would be happy in the end. She didn’t know what happened between Tessa and Scott for them to end their relationship, but she remained with the feeling that it wasn’t just because of the distance they had._  
  
_“No, and I told Scott to be honest with Tessa, but he doesn’t want to do that. He wants Tessa to be happy, and she is happy with Mark. As weird as it may be to see them marrying different people, Tessa and Mark make sense. Liz, you have to see that.”_  
  
_“I do, Mark is a great guy, but he isn’t--”_  
  
_“He isn’t Scott, I know, but sometimes you have to set the ones you love free.”_  
  
_Liz bit her lip and ran a hand through her hair, before sitting next to Patrick on the bed. She rested her head on Patrick’s shoulder, while his hand weaved through her own. They were getting married in a few short weeks, already wondering what would happen at the wedding considering Scott and Tessa were both in the wedding party. She quickly brushed away that thought and rubbed her head into Patrick’s shoulder, taking in his comforting warmth._  
  
_“Have you looked at the ring?” whispered Liz, after several moments of silence passed. She lifted her head and glanced at Patrick in the eyes, as he shook his head. “Can I see it?”_  
  
_Patrick wordlessly reached over to grab the box on the other side of him. He stared down at the closed box for awhile, then passed it over towards Liz. She immediately opened it up and nearly gasped at the sight of it. The ring was Tessa in a nutshell, and almost too perfect. Yet, the thing that captured her attention was the small engraving inside the band on the ring that caught her eye._  
  
_Shakily, Liz took the ring out of the box and looked at the engraving inside of it. She held back her tears, as she looked over at Patrick._  
  
_Inside the ring was a simple message: We did it, kiddo_.  


 

* * *

  
  
“So, Ella and I may have done something ridiculous,” said Tessa, as she unloaded the dishwasher. She grabbed a few coffee mugs and walked over to their place in the kitchen cabinet. A smile formed at the corners of her lips, as her back was turned from the front of the phone.  
  
“Tess,” groaned Scott from the phone.  
  
Tessa turned around with a mischievous glint in her eyes and walked back over towards the counter where her phone was propped. She rested her elbows on the counter and started giggling at the fine crease that formed on his forehead, as Scott raised his eyebrows curiously at her. He gave her that look; a look that he had given her every time that Tessa had a surprise she couldn’t keep. A look that Tessa first saw, when she had sneakily changed his red skate guards to hot pink on April Fool’s Day when she was ten.  
  
“Yes?” She said, batting her eyelashes.  
  
Scott rolled his eyes and shifted in the hotel bed to lean closer to the camera on the computer. “What did you do?” He said. Tessa winked and grabbed the phone, immediately heading walking towards the stairs. Scott continued giving her a bewildered expression. “Tess, did you get another awful bed for me?”  
  
“Well, it involves a bed, yes.”  
  
Scott’s eyes widened.  
  
“For Rufus,” She smirked, before walking into Ella’s room. “So, Ella is excited for Rufus and wants him to sleep with her every night but was upset that Rufus’s bed wouldn’t match her room.”  
  
“She truly is your daughter, Tess.” Scott shook his head and remembered the days where Tessa spent hours meticulously planning her Instagram layout, as well as transitioning between themes. She claimed it had to be aesthetically pleasing, even if she really wanted to post something different. He used to shake her head, telling her it actually didn’t matter, but nonetheless would provide his opinion. It was one of the many quirks that he loved about her.  
  
Tessa’s smile widened, as she walked into Ella’s pink wonderland bedroom and knelt down on the ground. “Well, I saw this deal online about pet beds, and I know dogs are color blind so—”  
  
“Oh god,” said Scott.  
  
A squeal escaped Tessa’s lips, as she switched the camera over to show the pink customized dog bed, with ‘Rufus’ written in cursive across the front of it. It was one of the most obnoxious things Scott had ever seen, especially for a male dog who loved the red bed Scott had proudly picked out for him when he was a puppy. Yet, as he saw Tessa’s dorky smile and giggle when the camera turned back towards her, he couldn’t help but smile back at her.  
  
“Do you like it?” She said, chewing at the bottom of her lip, desperately scanning his hazel eyes for some sort of acknowledgment.  
  
“It is cute, I will give you that, and I’m sure Rufus will love it.”  
  
“Good,” breathed Tessa, laying down on the ground and placing her head in the good dog bed.  
  
“Ah, so the posh dog bed is an incentive to get Rufus to sleep there,” said Scott, climbing off his own hotel bed and walking towards the bathroom to freshen up before he left for dinner at Patrick’s. He paused when he stood by the hotel sink, staring at Tessa intently in the phone, who was chewing on her bottom lip and seemed to have zoned off completely. “T Dog, you there?”  
  
She blinked suddenly and pinched the bridge of her nose, shaking her head apologetically. “Sorry, I was just thinking about something.”  
  
“Yeah? What were you thinking about?” asked Scott, propping his phone against the counter, “before you say it, I know that I’m looking a bit . . . unkempt.”

He chuckled and grabbed his comb and hair gel out of his toiletry bag, immediately trying to calm his disheveled hair. His teams had done well at World’s, all getting their personal best score, with one team just a point away from medaling. He was proud of them, and he knew going into the competition that neither team would place, but at the same time he was stressed and paced around the boards intently before, during, and after their numbers.  
  
“It is just I was thinking about the sleeping arrangements,” She said cautiously, trying to find his eyes through the screen, “and I know we haven’t formally discussed things, but I was thinking . . . Wait, no that is too much gel. Are you trying to be a grease pit?” She abruptly sat up from the dog bed, upon seeing the amount of gel Scott put on his hands to calm down his soft locks. “Did you learn nothing after PyeongChang?”  
  
Scott rolled his eyes, turning on the tap to rinse off part of the gel. “You like my hair long, Virtch, you say it makes me look more grown up. Yet, with how my hair is it needs gel.”  
  
“I know, and there is a correct and wrong way to use it,” smugly said Tessa. She stood up from her place and began walking back downstairs to finish up what she was doing in the kitchen. “Anyways, I’m sure Rufus will sleep with Ella—”  
  
“You know, Rufus has never slept without being in my bed or curled up next to my bed,” interrupted Scott, which prompted a look from Tessa. He returned the same look from Tessa and began applying a smaller amount of gel to his hair and arranging his hair with his fingers. “So, what am I supposed to do without my sleeping partner?”  
  
“That is what I was getting at before you destroyed your hair,” lightly said Tessa before a more serious expression appeared on her face. She tucked her hair behind her ears, as she reached the main floor, and stood hesitantly in place at the front entry. “I thought that you could stay in my bed, with me and stuff.”  
  
Scott blinked, his cheeks began to turn a light shade of pink.  
  
“Sorry, if that is a bad idea, I—” Tessa quickly fumbled, soon feeling her own cheeks join Scott’s blush. “Listen, I know this is crazy, but Ella will be asleep before us, and you’ll be awake before the two of us. So, I figured she wouldn’t have to know, and if she did, I don’t think she would think much of it. I mean she is four.” Tessa began babbling about all of the reasons why it would be fine while managing to completely avoid saying that she craved that extra bit of warmth and comfort in the night, and the feeling of peace when she felt Scott’s arms wrapped around her.  
  
“T, settle down,” chuckled Scott rinsing off the last bit of gel on his hands. “If you think that is a good idea I guess—”  
  
“I don’t know if it is a good idea,” admitted Tessa, “but I want you there, next to me.”  
  
Scott nodded, “okay.”  
  
“Unless you don’t want to be there,” She quickly responded, her cheeks growing redder, as the awkwardness began to set in.  
  
“God, no. Of course not.”  
  
Tessa smiled, “I miss you. Do you have to leave for Chiddy and Liz’s soon?”  
  
Scott walked out of the hotel bathroom and towards the nightstand, where the green neon numbers shined from the clock. His brain quickly did the math for the time it would take for the Uber to arrive and the time it would take to make it out of the downtown traffic into the suburbs, with a smirk spreading across his face upon realizing he would be late. He remembered Chiddy’s last text message to him saying, “I bet you’ll be famously late or scrambling, so the food won’t be ready as soon as you arrive.”  
  
He chuckled and grabbed his wallet off his night stand, staring at Tessa’s piercing green eyes. “I should have left ten minutes ago if I wanted to be there on time.”  
  
Tessa’s mouth opened slightly, and her eyes widened, as the punctual nature started coming out. “Oh, shit. Scott, I’m sorry for showing you that ridiculous dog bed. I, uh, I’ll let you go.”  
  
“It’s fine, it is Chiddy. He already knows that I’m at least ten minutes late.”  
  
The corners of Tessa’s mouth twitched, as she stared at Scott. “Send them my love, will you?”  
  
“I will,” He said, maneuvering his coat on using one hand, “and Virtch?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“I miss you too.”  


* * *

  
The door opened almost immediately, as Scott walked up the brick steps toward Patrick and Liz’s front door. They bought the house the year following the PyeongChang Olympics. To say that the house needed a lot of work was an understatement. It was initially built in the 1950s and had little renovation since the second owners bought it in the ’80s, hence the atrocious wallpaper and stained carpets covering each room.

Scott remembered going over to the house with Tessa shortly after Patrick and Liz moved in, flabbergasted at the amount of work that needed to be done. The kitchen was small and closed off from the rest of the house, with the cabinets hanging over the countertop, making it a hazard for anyone’s head if they wanted to reach across and grab something. Patrick was adamant that he saw the future of the home, with Tessa backing him up, while Liz and Scott remained more on the skeptical side of things.  
  
Tessa told him that he didn't see the big picture side of things, reminding Scott about how he overlooked the potential of her own house and that she volunteered her help if Liz and Patrick ever needed it. He rolled his eyes at all of this, unsure how the horrible layout and foundation of the house could get better. Scott waited for the day where he could be proven wrong, and a part of him felt like he was just about to when he knocked on the white, wooden front door that popped against the red brick.  
  
“About time you made it!” boomed Patrick, almost immediately after the door opened, “I was beginning to think you were bailing on us.”  
  
“Don’t hold your breath, I can still go back,” chuckled Scott, as he stepped foot inside the house.  
  
He outstretched his arms, and the two long-time friends gave each other a hug, lightly hitting each other’s backs. Scott pulled away first and gazed around the entryway of the house, that made it seem like it was a completely different house. The hideous wallpaper was now replaced by a faint gray color, with a modern chandelier hanging in the center of the entryway. The carpeted stairs were now wooden and stained a deep brown. He never would have thought it would look this good.  
  
“So, am I allowed to say I told you so?” laughed Patrick, nudging Scott lights in the ribs.  
  
Scott swatted away Patrick’s arm, a look of amusement across his face. “I was beginning to think I was dropped off at the wrong house. The landscaping was too good to be true,” He teased back, “Who helped you with this design? Did you call up Kaylie a couple years ago?”  
  
Patrick rolled his eyes and took the coat Scott shrugged off to hang it up in the front closet, while Scott began taking off his shoes. “Liz and I did choose everything by ourselves, thank you,” said Patrick, leading Scott towards the back of the house, “demolition day was so much fun though. Nothing beats swinging a sledgehammer at those horrendous kitchen counters; Liz even joined.”  
  
They walked around the corner to be greeted by the aroma of the Italian food, Liz was cooking over the burner. She glanced up upon hearing the footsteps, with a broad smile spread across her face. Liz wiped her hands off on the bottom of her apron, before opening up her arms to give Scott a tight hug. “Scott, it is so good to see you! Dinner will be done in about ten minutes. How did everything go at World’s?” She rubbed either side of Scott’s arms giving him a dazzling smile.  
  
“Very well, actually,” returned Scott, “it smells delicious by the way.”  
  
“He is shocked that we have some taste in this place,” sarcastically droned Patrick, wrapping an arm around Liz’s waist.  
  
Liz laughed and walked away from both Scott and Patrick to finish up what she was cooking on the stove. “Well, we did have a bit of help in the kitchen and living room, Patrick. Remember when Tess was in town for something with work and helped me finalize some details?”  
  
“Tess?” curiously said, Scott.  
  
Liz and Patrick continued giving each other looks, with Patrick confused at what she was talking about. Patrick’s wife rolled her eyes and shook her head, as she began stirring the sauce in the pot. “You don’t remember? She was probably, oh, five months pregnant.”  
  
Scott stared at his two friends, before looking around the kitchen and over at the living room that the kitchen opened up to. The more he looked at the furniture and design, the more it came across to him as Tessa. It was that classic French look, mixed with a modern touch, a style that was similar to Tessa’s own house. “It does look like, Tess,” whispered Scott, breaking about the silent conversation between Patrick and Liz. “Was she here for long?”  
  
“Oh, a couple nights at most. Mark had some meeting in Vancouver, and she tagged along with him for the trip,” said Liz, “she helped us organize one of the guest bedrooms that was filled with boxes ever since it was redone. Patrick nearly had a heart attack when she almost came across—”  
  
“Liz,” warned Patrick.  
  
Liz bit her lip and shook her head. “Never mind, forget what I was saying.”  
  
“You act like Tessa is some forbidden word right now around me. Tess and I are in a good place right now, a perfect place,” said Scott, his eyes flickering between the married couple, who was slightly tense. “What can’t you tell me?”  
  
“It doesn’t matter what she was going to say,” reassured Patrick, walking towards the glass cabinet to grab some wine glasses. “Do you want some red wine, Scott? Liz and I came across it several months ago, and it’s a personal favorite.”  
  
Scott agreed, knowing to not ask further questions despite his mind racing. He sat down in one of the island barstools, overseeing his friend open up the bottle of wine while Liz remained focused on cooking dinner. Scott wondered why Liz couldn’t continue the story about Tessa visiting here because to him it didn’t seem like a big deal. It bothered Scott slightly that Patrick and Liz knew about Tessa’s pregnancy and Ella long before him, but at the same time, he understood why Tessa never told him. He had only done it to himself. Scott had isolated himself from his friends and Tessa to cope with his own marital problems with Kaylie. That couldn’t have been what elicited Patrick to give Liz a warning.  
  
“Here you go,” smiled Patrick, handing Scott the glass.  
  
He smiled and thanked him, his brain still racing at the conversation. What could Tessa have stumbled upon that would make Patrick halt the conversation? Scott thought it could be some embarrassing thing about Patrick, but he knew that couldn’t be it. Patrick was an open book, and the tone indicated otherwise.  
  
Scott sipped his wine and nodded his head, acknowledging the rich flavor. He glanced over at Liz who had migrated to adding the sauce to the main meal, her diamond wedding ring catching a glimmer of light suddenly causing Scott to stop drinking his wine and place the glass on the counter.  
  
The ring.  
  
The ring that he had carefully designed for Tessa and couldn’t get rid of for nearly a year. It was the last thing that held him onto her that prevented him from entirely moving on, and he didn’t know what to do with it. He had given it to Patrick, with the intention of Patrick selling it or giving it away, and never thought about it since. He had it still, and Tessa almost had come across it.  
  
His thoughts were elsewhere, as Patrick brought Scott to the dining room and Liz started bringing the dishes to the table with an eager smile on her face. Scott smiled and ate his food, talking a bit about his teams at Gadbois while mentioning that he would be spending the breaks between seasons at home to help Uncle Paul out at the skate shop.  
  
Patrick gave him a curious look, while Liz smiled and took a sip of her wine. “Have you seen Tessa a lot more then?” bluntly said Liz placing her glass down on the table and folding her hands in her lap. “Last time we really spoke to you about her was when we were visiting in Montréal and Tess was around, and after that heated dance between you two I wondered if--”  
  
Scott nearly choked on the garlic bread he was chewing, quickly drinking some water to clear his throat.  
  
“You good, man?” Patrick said, eying Scott carefully.  
  
He coughed a bit and used his napkin to dab at his mouth. “Yeah, I’m fine. I guess food went down the wrong way.” He looked down at his plate, trying to suppress the growing red on the back of his neck. “Yeah, I actually was using Tessa’s house as a place to stay over Christmas since Ma had a house filled with people. It was nice, we are backing to normal.”  
  
“What exactly is normal between you two?” pressed Patrick.  
  
“Pat, stop it,” said Liz swatting at her husband’s arm.  
  
Patrick flinched away from Liz’s hand and gave her a look. “What? You know that is the number one question, that they probably still can’t answer.”  
  
Scott rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair, after finishing the last bit of his meal. The second glass of wine was beginning to set in, as he continued to stare at Liz and Patrick who were exchanging their own looks. His mind raced with words, trying to piece together the perfect response to Patrick’s question.  
  
A smirk spread across Scott’s face, as he finished off the last bit of his wine and met Patrick’s dark eyes. “I’ll tell you the answer, as soon as you tell me why you held onto that ring after all these years?”  


* * *

  
“So, I don’t get why you are giving all this stuff away?” asked Casey, as he walked down the stairs in Tessa’s house with two brown bags filled with various décor. “I mean I get starting fresh and getting rid of the last ties to Mark, but does this random pillow really make you think of him? Or is that some sexy times story I should probably never hear?”  
  
Tessa walked behind him rolling her eyes and carrying a bag of her own.  
  
Casey had just dropped Ella off after a cousin playdate with Poppy, giving Tessa the opportunity to relax and put her house back in order, which involved deep cleaning and giggling with Scott over the phone before he went over to Patrick and Liz’s. She had been putting the final touches on her bedroom when she heard the knock on her front door and was bombarded by an excited Ella who hurled her small body towards Tessa’s legs.  
  
It was only then that Ella expressed to Tessa how she needed to show Poppy her kitchen set in the basement, giving Casey and Tessa the time to fetch the décor from upstairs. And it felt like a miracle to Tessa that the kids were in the basement when Casey made digs about Tessa’s sex life.  
  
“I just want to start fresh, okay? New chapter to my life and with Scott coming in a week—”  
  
“Oh yes, the knight in shining armor,” droned Casey, “got to have everything perfect for him. Even noticed you redid the guest room with your old bedroom furniture. A bit strange for him to sleep on yours and Marks old mattress, but, hey, you two have always been weird.”  
  
Tessa scoffed, “for your information, I got a new mattress in the guest room and my own bed; just the headboard and rest of the furniture that is the same. It isn’t like he would notice or would be spending a significant amount of time in—” Tessa immediately froze, “never mind, ignore me.” She placed the bags on the ground near the front door.  
  
Casey gave her a toothy grin while wiggling his eyebrows at her. “So, you and Scott?”  
  
She flushed, “I haven’t really talked to Mum or Jord about it, but--”  
  
“Anyone could see it from a mile away,” He snorted, “ever since you took that random trip to Montréal a couple weeks ago to see if ‘Scott was okay’ it was obvious you were in love with him again.”  
  
“Wait, you know about that?” said Tessa with her eyes immediately widening. “I told Mum not to say anything because it was meant to be short.”  
  
“Oh, you know, Mum, always expressing her worries about one kid to all the others. I stopped in one night to drop something off, and Ella was there, and the topic of you leaving was inevitable, so she said how it was all for you to see Scott.”  
  
Tessa flushed, “well, I, uh, it was all for a valid reason.”  
  
He shrugged his shoulders and tried to meet her eyes. “Listen, sis, if this is what makes you happy and you’re ready to move onto this next step in your life after Mark, then I’m happy and supportive of you. I don’t know why Mum and Jord are acting like Scott is some douchebag from the streets, but—”  
  
“Well, how things ended between us was not optimal.”  
  
Casey rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but no one is perfect. It has been years since that happened and in some twisted way, fate brought you two together again where you are both single and wanting happiness . . . Why not act on it? I think you’re both smart enough to know what you want and once again it is each other.”  
  
“Jordan thinks that I’m using Scott as a crutch to move on from Mark,” said Tessa wrapping her arms close around her body. “It made me nervous that this was the case, and I tried to come to terms with that might be it, but as soon as I knew something was wrong with him—”  
  
“You needed to get to him as soon as possible.”  
  
She bit her lip and nodded.  
  
“Only you know what is best for you and Ella. If Scott is who you can see yourself finding that true happiness after Mark, then go for it. You are Tessa Virtue, the one who always uses logic in every decision she makes, and I’m sure whoever you choose to be with will be for all the right reasons.”  
  
“And you think that is Scott for me?”  
  
“I know Scott is for you,” assured Casey, “but I’m just your dumb older brother, remember?”  
  
Tessa remembered the times Casey would attempt to give her advice when she was a child. Instead of accepting the recommendation or seeing the good in it, she would call him her “dumb older brother” and then go ask her mother or Jordan. Tessa began laughing and pulling Casey into a tight hug, “thanks, Case, I needed to hear that. Even though you are just my dumb older brother.” She pulled away and gave him a wink.  
  
Casey started joining her laughs and shaking his head. “Anytime, Tess, but also remember that you deserve the world. If he can’t give it to you this time, then he isn’t worth it, no matter how much you love him.”  
  
“I think this time will be for real,” confidently said Tessa, “I just hope others can see it too.”  
  
“They will.”  
  
“How do you know?” whispered Tessa, her fears starting to creep up her spine.  
  
Casey shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t, that’s the thing, but I choose to believe that for once you two will get your shit together.”  
  
“What about Mark?”  
  
“What about him?”  
  
Tessa bit her lip. “I live in this perpetual fear that people will think that I moved on too fast, that—” She stopped herself and shook her head, feeling foolish, “never mind, forget what I was saying.”  
  
“No one knows if you’re ready to move on except yourself, and I don’t believe for one second that Mark would want to see you unhappy. Mark may have been the one for you in some ways, but Scott is the one for you in many other ways. If you think this time it will be real, then I’m happy for you. It is time to be with your other soulmate, Tess. For fuck’s sake, it has been over twenty-five years of this relationship-in-the-making with so many barriers along the way. Be with Scott, Tess, if he is what makes you happy.”  
  
Tears formed in the corners of Tessa’s eyes, as she took in Casey’s advice. Ever since she came to terms with her feelings reigniting for Scott, she had questioned continuously if it was possible to have more than one soulmate. She loved Mark and knew that if he hadn’t passed away, she would be with him, and happy, with the possibility of bringing another child into this world. Mark made sense, and they brought out the best in each other, with their strengths compatible and matching. She fell for him quickly, formed that stable connection with him faster than she expected. He felt like the one to her and was the first boyfriend that Scott genuinely liked, that her family loved and saw her future with.  
  
Yet, there was something about Scott that Tessa was always drawn to.  
  
Scott who had changed her life the moment she held his hand at the Ilderton Skating Club. She remembered the firsts they had together, and the ups and downs they had over a couple decades. They trusted each other more than life itself and understood each other so profoundly, it was hard for others to be around them. A simple eyebrow movement or shift of the eyes was enough for them to know what the other was thinking. He had been there with Tessa through her toughest times, whether it was her legs or her first heartbreak when things ended with Fedor. He had taken care of her when she started living by herself and was sick the very first time. He was her constant for all those years, and in many ways, it felt like this moment was waiting to happen.  
  
Maybe it was possible to have two soul mates.  
  
Or maybe, Scott was the one she was always supposed to be with.  


* * *

  
_“Liz, this room turned out beautifully!” exclaimed Tessa to Liz, as they walked into the newly refinished spare room._  
  
_The wallpaper from the eighties was torn down and replaced with a calming light blue paint, while the popcorn ceilings were scrapped and replaced with a smooth surface. The stained carpet was now a dark hardwood floor, and new blinds were put in the large window that overlooked the quiet suburban street. The furniture that came with the house was replaced with newer, modern looking furniture that was arranged accordingly. The only thing that was lacking was the accents with the décor, in which Tessa was quick to jump on board to help with._  
  
_Liz smiled and placed down the stack of boxes on the floor, then put her hand on your hips. “You think so? I know Pat wasn’t sold on the wall color when we were picking it out. Thought it would give off too much of a beach vacation house in Florida rather than a house in snowy Vancouver. I just didn’t want the entire house gray or white.”_  
  
_Tessa laughed, placing her hand on her growing stomach. “Definitely not, I think it is beautiful and brightens up the room. Besides you want your guests joyful, so why not have a cheery color? The subtle yellow accents to go with the blue will be beautiful.”_  
  
_“Well, at least someone has my back,” grinned Liz. “Anyways, I’ll be right back. These boxes are random things from the move, but there may be a few odd things that could work with the décor. I think some light reading books or something?” Liz tucked her dark strands behind her ears and pressed a hand against her forehead, letting out a long sigh. The boxes seemed to never end, despite moving for over six months ago._  
  
_“Don’t worry, we will get it all sorted out, even if it takes several days,” reassured Tessa, walking over to one of the boxes and beginning to open it up._  
  
_“Thanks, Tess, I really appreciate it. Patrick is the typical boy and over the decorating part and has provided little opinion since we finished the master,” She said rolling her eyes. “Do you want me to get some water for you?”_  
  
_Tessa glanced up from rummaging through the box and nodded. “Yeah, that would be great. Thank you.”_  
  
_Liz turned to walk out of the bedroom, walking down the stairs coming up with a list of things she needed to accomplish today. Decorating and officially finishing the guest bedroom was on the top of her list, but there was still laundry, cleaning, and various errands that were pressing matters._  
  
_“Hey, Liz, do you know where those last few boxes went?” shouted Patrick stepping into the house from the garage, as Liz walked into the kitchen. “I think I put all of my skating medals in there and want to congregate them all to the same place.”_  
  
_Liz walked over to the kitchen cabinet and grabbed a glass out to get some water for Tessa, giving Patrick a look. “Yeah, it is upstairs with Tess. I told you that some of the random stuff in there would be used for decorations.”_  
  
_Patrick froze in place. He eyed her carefully, his body tensing. “You just gave her a random box and left her?”_  
  
_His sudden exclamation startled Liz causing her to spill a portion of the water on the counter. She sighed and grabbed a dishrag, giving Patrick a pointed glare. “Pat, it isn’t like the box contains deeply personal items. I’m pretty sure it is random medals, coffee table books, and other décor objects.”_  
  
_“And the fucking ring,” hissed Patrick._  
  
_Liz widened her eyes. “What? I thought you got rid of that a long time ago.”_  
  
_“I could never do that,” He firmly stated, walking towards Liz and grabbing the glass of water for Tessa. “There are some things that I’m never capable of doing them, and one of them is giving away a ring that will always continue to belong to Tessa.”_  
  
_“An engagement ring that is apparently hers and she won’t ever know about it? Honey, I don’t understand your logic behind keeping this ring. Tessa and Scott aren’t talking anymore, to the point where Tessa doesn’t want him to know about her pregnancy.”_  
  
_“I know,” said Patrick, quickly walking out of the kitchen with the glass of water. “Call me delusional, but something is telling me that the story surrounding the ring is far from over and I refuse to give it away.”_  


* * *

  
“I want to see it,” announced Scott, “the ring. I need to see it again.”  
  
He dabbed the corners of his mouth with his napkin, before tossing it onto his plate and glancing back and forth between Liz and Patrick, who remained speechless. Patrick struggled to find words and kept opening up his mouth, before closing it again, while Liz stayed stoic on the other side. Scott finished off his wine glass and continued to look at them.  
  
Liz cleared her throat and stood up from her spot, eying Patrick carefully. “Yeah, of course. Where did you put it again, Pat?” She avoided making eye contact with Scott, as she began gathering up the dishes on the dining room table and to deflect stating her opinion about the matter. It didn’t take much for Liz to know that another romance was reignited between Tessa and Scott. She saw it back in Montréal when they were all dancing at the club; the sexual tension was still there, it was just a matter of resolving the past.  
  
Except could the past ever be completely resolved?  
  
It was hard to explain the connection between Scott and Tessa, and it was something that Patrick still was unable to comprehend, even though he had years of experience observing their behavior. They attempted to deceive everyone by saying that their feelings were simply platonic, but they didn’t fool anyone around them. Their connection and love were unfathomable and something that Tessa and Scott privately nurtured. A simple raise of the brow or a look in their eyes was enough for them to communicate or the inside jokes that would make them laugh non-stop while the others would stare. There was no room for anyone else in their lives, and it seemed almost impossible to let someone else in. And to this day, Liz sometimes wondered if Mark or Kaylie were let all the way into their hearts. Maybe Mark did with Tessa, but Kaylie? Probably never.  
  
Liz began washing the dishes and heard Scott and Patrick leave the dining room to go see the ring. She felt shocked that Scott was acting about it, but even more shocked that Scott casually continued to bring up Tessa. Maybe things were changing? She wondered if this is what Patrick meant all those years ago. That the story of the ring, the love story between Tessa and Scott wasn’t quite over. Perhaps it was only beginning.  
  
“Just don’t mess it up this time,” She muttered.  


* * *

  
_Ever since Tessa and Scott’s first Christmas away from home, it had become a tradition to watch Christmas movies until they fell asleep on the couch buried under the softest blankets. Scott would make the hot chocolate, while Tessa grabbed the fluffiest blankets out of her cabinet before they would watch the cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies. While their families were miles away celebrating, they were isolated in either Canton or Montréal only having each other. Except, each other was enough to make them feel as if they were home._  
  
_Now it was the last Christmas before their, presumably, last Olympics and they found themselves once again isolated from their families. They were stretched out across the sectional wrapped in a fluffy cocoon of blankets. The side of Tessa’s face was nuzzled into the crook of Scott’s shoulders, and one of her arms slung around his waist as they watched the ending of the movie that resulted in the main character proposing to a girl he fell in love with._  
  
_Scott shifted from underneath Tessa, before gently rubbing her back and watching her eyelashes peacefully flutter closed. She let out a content sigh and brought herself closer to Scott. He chuckled down at her and quickly reached over to grab the remote and turn off the TV. “You need to sleep, Virtch?” He murmured into her hair._  
  
_“Just rest my eyes,” She said, a small smile flickering across her face while her eyes remained closed. “It isn’t midnight yet, we always stay up till then.”_  
  
_“Except, I’m assuming you’re done with the predictable Christmas movies? Tired of watching another version of a Christmas proposal?”_  
  
_She cracked open one eye at him. “Christmas proposals never grow old in those movies, Moir. It’s always so beautiful with snow peacefully falling in the background when the guy gets down on one knee,” Tessa said, before letting out a yawn._  
  
_“Is that your dream proposal setting then?” questioned Scott._  
  
_Tessa opened up both eyes and looked at him for a while, before turning herself over, so she laid on her stomach. Both hands laid on his chest, as she rested her chin on it and continued to stare at him. “I think the dream setting varies depending on who you are with. It should have a place of meaning,” admitted Tessa, “however, I do think the dream rings always remains the same.”_  
  
_“Which is?”_  
  
_She gave him a look, with slight hesitation, but quickly caved as she felt both of his hands lightly grazing either side of her shoulders. The touch was enough to have her cave, immediately causing her to swallow and finish collecting her thoughts. “I always wanted one of my grandmother’s diamonds to be used in a ring to always have a part of me with her,” Tessa started breaking her gaze with Scott, “she had this one cushion cut diamond that was about a carat in size and completely flawless on her ring. It was gorgeous, I would always stare at it, but never fully appreciated since she had many smaller diamonds surrounding it. I would just want that diamond, in a solitaire setting, on a yellow gold band. Simple, yet timeless.”_  
  
_“You really do have it all figured out,” chuckled Scott placing his hands around her waist and pulling her up close to his face. “Maybe one day you’ll get your wish and get to see your dream ring.”_  
  
_“Doubtful,” admitted Tessa, “Mom won’t give that diamond to just anyone.”_  
  
_“I doubt that,” pointed out Scott, “she would give it to someone that truly makes you happy. I know you’ll get that ring someday.”_  


* * *

  
Scott stared at the ring inside of the box, his lungs constricting upon the sight of it. It was nestled between the navy velour and still looked as if he just picked it up from the store the other day. A pang of emotion slithered up his spine, as Scott swallowed back the lump that formed in his throat when he stared at it. It felt like a lifetime ago when he asked Kate for Tessa’s grandmother’s diamond, and when he sought Patrick and Jordan’s advice on the specific solitaire setting that had their “Virtue Moir” logo handcrafted into the side of it. This ring was only meant to come from him and just to be given to Tessa.  
  
His eyes became flooded with emotion upon seeing the delicate engraving on the inside of the band causing him to let out the breath he held in. “We did it, kiddo” laid inside the ring, a saying that had significance ever since they were little. It was what he told her when they were little and medaled at their first competition to when they were inducted into the Canadian Walk of Fame. It was a saying that brought tears to the corners of Tessa’s jade eyes every time she heard it or read it because it was part of their little world they only knew existed.  
  
“It is beautiful,” pointed out Patrick looking at the ring next to Scott. “I just couldn’t part with it, you know, because I had a feeling that you would want to see it again, for closure.”  
  
Scott shook his head and held the ring tighter between his fingertips. “I don’t need closure on it, Chiddy. I’m going to take it with me.”  
  
A careful look immediately formed on Patrick’s face, as he eyed one of his best friends curiously. “Are you sure that it is a good idea?”  
  
He swallowed and nodded his head vigorously. “Things are different between Tessa and me this time around. I can’t explain it, but it is a good type of different.”  
  
“Scott—”  
  
Scott quickly cut off Patrick continuing his train of thought, “at the basis of it all, we are still the same Tessa and Scott who skated together for over twenty years . . . But now we have been through so much as individuals, and together it is like we get it. We get what is important.”  
  
Patrick placed a hand on Scott’s shoulder giving it a light squeeze, before walking over to sit on one of the chairs. “That is what you said the last time you were together, Scott. Each time you two may work out and have worked through problems something else comes up. Last time it was the distance, and now you will have distance again. You have calculated patterns when it comes to relationships Scott, you know that.”  
  
“It wasn’t just the distance” whispered Scott ignoring Patrick’s other comment.  
  
His friend raised an eyebrow.  
  
“I feel like I have done it all in life, Chiddy. I met a little girl that changed my world when I was nine years old and fell so deeply in love with her to the point where I don’t think I ever stopped loving her. It felt this way no about Tessa no matter who I attempted to date . . . Jessica, Cassandra, Kaitlyn, or even Jackie. But the thing was, my heart could never quite fully belong to them. Heck, I even married Kaylie, and a portion of my heart still remained to Tessa.” Scott licked his lips and sighed looking at that ring box.  
  
“But there was always Tessa in between those girls, Scott, and it never worked out,” gently reminded Patrick.  
  
He laughed and shook his head, knowing that Patrick was right. Tessa and Scott always crossed that boundary between friends and more than friends during each time he was single (and horribly enough several times when he was with Cassandra and Kaitlyn). He had always found himself dedicating every ounce of energy towards Tessa on and off the ice when he was away from his girlfriend at the time or between girlfriends. She was his kryptonite, but also his source of strength.  
  
“That was because we didn’t know what it would be like to not see each other, not work on projects with each other. That distance and marrying other people, just made me realize how she is the only thing that matters in the end to me. That despite all this time apart, I still love her just as deeply as I did all those years ago.”  
  
“And Kaylie?”  
  
“I know I loved her,” stated Scott, “I wouldn’t have married her or tried so hard for a child if I didn’t, but I don’t think she was my soulmate. I think that spot has always been reserved for Tessa and I just never came to terms with it, not until I saw her again at Mark’s funeral,” said Scott thinking back to the time he met Tessa’s eyes after all those years apart.  
  
Patrick stared at him for quite some time. “She has a child, Scott, a child who lost their father at a young age. It won’t be as easy as it was all those years ago.”  
  
“I love Ella as if she was my own,” admitted Scott, smiling at the thought of seeing Ella for months on end. “This little family has become a part of me, and it is something that I never want to lose in my life. I know it isn’t me being caught up in wanting a family of my own, I know that this can be my forever.” He glanced over at his best friend whose hesitant face had started to relax and listen to everything Scott had to say. “I will never not be in love with Tessa Virtue, Chiddy. She is the only one for me.”  
  
“How does she feel? For her, it is moving on from a man she would still be with if he didn’t pass away.”  
  
“She kissed me a few weeks ago,” said Scott, “and I don’t think she would have if she weren’t ready. We have talked every day since then, and I’ll be staying at her place the entire summer to give this a try, to see if this will work. Although, I know it will. I just have this gut feeling, I can’t explain it.”  
  
Patrick stared at Scott’s serious expression for quite some time and sat up in his seat. “If I'm honest, part of the reason why I held onto this ring was a feeling that you two would find your way back to each other. Your journey never felt over when you broke up.”  
  
Scott smiled.  
  
“Take the ring back, Scott, and be with her. Hopefully, you will be smart and not do anything sudden with it, but—”  
  
“I won’t, I won’t,” said Scott walking over to Patrick and giving him a hug. “I just know that one day this ring will end up on her finger and this time it’ll be truly forever between us.”  


* * *

  
Rufus began barking as soon as Scott took the exit from the 401 to Highbury Ave, finally reaching the outskirts of London. “Calm down, Rufus, we aren’t even there yet,” Scott laughed, reaching over to grab his water bottle from the cup holder. He glanced out the rearview mirror only to see Rufus’s paws up on the window at the other cars and his tails rapidly wagging. “You have no clue where you are going, eh?”  
  
Scott chuckled to himself, as Rufus pawed at the window and remained focus on the road. He was arriving into London three hours ahead of what he told Tessa last night, a result of waking up at five and unable to fall back asleep. The decision to lay there or get going came to him, and soon enough he dragged Rufus out of bed, loaded up the last few things in his car, and immediately hit the highway blasting Jennifer Lopez and drinking coffee from Tim’s. His only focus was getting there and spending time with the two girls that took over his heart in the past ten months.  
  
A giddy grin spread on his face, as soon as he saw Tessa’s house in the distance. The butterflies begin to flutter rapidly in his stomach, and the excitement increased substantially through his veins when he made the turn into the driveway. Rufus’s barking started to increase rapidly, especially when Scott put the car in park and turned around to look at his dog.  
  
“Welcome to your home for the summer,” grinned Scott meeting Rufus’s eyes, “ready to go see Tessa and Ella?” He grabbed the leash from the passenger’s seat and held it up to Rufus, only to have the barking start up again causing Scott to laugh. “Hold on buddy, let me get this on you.”  
  
Scott turned off the car and climbed out of the driver’s seat, to walk around to the backseat where Rufus was anxiously running back and forth. The smile continued on Scott’s face when he opened up the door and was bombarded by Rufus ramming his head into Scott’s stomach while wagging his tail and letting out a small cry. “I know, boy, I know. Let me get this on you.” He swiftly fastened the leash on Rufus’s collar, before moving out of the way so the dog could jump down from the car.  
  
They began their walk up to the front door, Rufus stopping several times to sniff the grass, while Scott took in the sight of the house. Once again, he would be living here, and never did he think this would happen again after he and Tessa broke up. He always loved this house and how it seemed to create happy memories for anyone that stepped foot in it. He remembered when he first stepped foot in the house again, after all of these years had passed, only to immediately feel like he was home again.  
  
Upon knocking on the door, he immediately heard little footsteps running down the hallway followed by an ebullient scream. Ella’s face soon became pressed in the window next to the door, a huge grin spread across her face, as her green eyes made eye contact with Scott then Rufus. Rufus began barking excitedly upon seeing Ella’s face and scratched at the door until Ella unlocked it.  
  
“Rufus!” She shouted immediately dropping to her knees to receive a multitude of wet kisses on her face from the dog. He let out a small whine as Ella began scratching behind his ears, with a wide smile on her face. “Mommy and I bought you some new toys, and I got you a new bed. I hope you’ll sleep with me. I missed you so much, Rufus.”  
  
The dog let out a whimper and used its snout to nuzzle itself underneath Ella’s arms.  
  
“What about me? You didn’t miss me?” said Scott, pretending to be hurt.  
  
Ella giggled and let go of Rufus. “I missed you even more, but don’t tell Rufus that.”  
  
“Come here, kiddo,” said Scott dropping the leash, knowing Rufus wouldn’t go anywhere and bending down to scoop Ella off the ground and into his arms. He swung her back and forth as he encompassed her in a hug, his heart feeling full at the sound of her giggles in his ear. “You’re so much bigger than what you were at Christmas. Soon I won’t be able to pick you up. When was the last time I saw you?”  
  
“Three months ago,” said Ella. She unwrapped her arms from Scott’s neck, as he adjusted his grip around her to support her still. “I’m happy you are here for a few months, Scott. It isn’t the same without you.”  
  
“I’m happy to be here,” He whispered, leaning in and giving her a kiss on the cheek.  
  
Suddenly there was thumping coming from upstairs, as Tessa emerged from the bedroom in full panic. She came hurtling down the stairs in a fuzzy white robe, her hair damp, looking at her feet. “Angela! I have told you repeatedly to not open up the door when I’m not around. Scott said he wouldn’t be here for another three hours and I know you are very excited, but—” She suddenly paused when she reached the bottom of the stairs and met Scott’s eyes, her body immediately relaxing at the site of him.  
  
“I may have been unable to fall back asleep at five and decided to come early, I hope you don’t mind,” replied Scott, gently placing Ella on the ground.  
  
“Scott,” She whispered, her eyes immediately lighting up at the site of him.  
  
No other words could escape her mouth, when she immediately flung herself into his arms, feeling him effortlessly sweep her off her feet and clutch onto her tightly. It was a hug with such high intensity that it resembled their embrace after the skate of their life in PyeongChang. She clutched onto him for dear life, one of her hands wrapped through his hair, as he buried his head into her neck and breathed in her familiar strawberry scent.

“You’re here,” Tessa said softly into his ear.

“I’m here,” He repeated tightening his grip around her, while taking in the laughter and playful barking from Ella and Rufus, “And I couldn’t be happier.”

He was finally home.

* * *

“Goodnight stars, goodnight air, goodnight noises everywhere,” softly read Scott to Ella.

  
He glanced over at Ella, her eyelids were beginning to grow heavier each time she blinked her eyes. She let out a small yawn which only caused her to melt further into Scott’s shoulder and clutch onto Sir Bunchkins even tighter. Scott smiled and leaned down to press a kiss to Ella’s hair, closing the book he had been reading to Ella.  
  
It was moments like this Scott would remember for the rest of his life.  
  
_Scott was about to take the garbage outside and let Rufus out when Tessa emerged from upstairs giving Ella piggyback ride downstairs with her wet curls bouncing wildly. Laughter and smiles were spread across both Virtue women’s faces, as Tessa gently let Ella crawl down her back to the ground. He gave them both a curious look, as Tessa perched against the countertop, giving him a look with a gleam in her eyes._  
  
_“Ella requests that you read her a bedtime story if you’re up for it,” Tessa said._  
  
_“Oh, is that so?” Scott eyed Ella, who was playing tug-of-war with Rufus on the ground._  
  
_Tessa bit her lip and nodded. “Mhmm, I may have mentioned that you were the best storyteller,” She said, her voice as smooth as velvet. “Is that okay with you? I can finish up in here and take Rufus out.”_  
  
_“Are you sure?” He questioned._  
  
_“Positive,” nodded Tessa, “Ella wants nothing more than to spend time with you.”_  
  
The crack in the door suddenly widened more, interrupting Scott’s thoughts. He glanced over when he heard the familiar faint jingle of Rufus’s collar, as he walked in the room. It was almost as if Rufus knew where he should be tonight, when he found the pink customized dog bed, that was at the end of Ella’s bed, and curled up on it. Scott smiled at Rufus, before glancing over in the doorway to see Tessa peering through it, a look of content evident on her face.  
  
“How long has she been asleep for?” whispered Tessa, quietly walking into the room.  
  
“A couple minutes. She dozed off after we finished the book,” replied Scott. He glanced back down at Ella who was breathing deeply against his chest. “Sorry, you didn’t get to say goodnight.”  
  
Tessa shrugged her shoulders, finding the last bit of free space on the edge of Ella’s bed. She reached over and brushed the stray hairs out of Ella’s face, smiling down at her daughter. “It’s okay, I could tell she was exhausted. I’m not sure how much sleep she got last night. In all honesty, I don’t think either one of us got much sleep because we were excited that you were coming.”  
  
Scott beamed at Tessa, briefly meeting her eyes.  
  
“What book did she pick out?”  
  
“Goodnight Moon,” replied Scott continuing to stroke Ella’s arm.  
  
“That’s her favorite,” replied Tessa, “Mark and I started reading it to her when she was only a newborn.”  
  
“It was my favorite too when I was a kid,” recalled Scott, “Mom used to read it to me almost every night. It got to the point where I could repeat it, no book needed. I’m pretty sure Mom has a video tape of me reciting the book when I was four and couldn’t read.”  
  
“How is it possible that I’m still learning new things about you?” softly laughed Tessa. “After all of these years and I had no clue Goodnight Moon was your favorite book when you were a kid.”  
  
Scott chuckled, “I don’t think reading our favorite books to children one day ever came up in conversation. Besides, what fun is it if you know everything about me?”  
  
“I know enough, Moir,” She smugly said, before diverting her attention back to Ella. Tessa sighed and gently stroked Ella’s hair again. “We should probably get her settled, or she will end up entangling her entire body with yours in an hour or so. Trust me, I have learned the hard way.”  
  
“Ah, so another similarity between you two if I remember correctly.”  
  
Tessa flushed, cupping her cheek with her hand. “I just get cold at night.”  
  
“Even in the summer?” He gave her a crooked smile, seeing Tessa’s cheeks become a deeper red. He shook his head, before shifting under Ella slightly unsure how to get up. “We should probably get her completely settled. Show me the way of not interrupting her sleep?”  
  
“Yeah, of course,” said Tessa standing up from the bed.  
  
Within several minutes, Tessa and Scott stood next to Ella’s bed gazing down at her. Her untamed hair was spread across the pillow, her hands clutching Sir Bunchkin’s, as she laid in a tight ball. Tessa leaned down and gave Ella a kiss on the cheek, murmuring “I love you” into the sleeping child’s ear, before standing straight and looking at Scott, the smile on her face reaching her eyes.  
  
Wordlessly he held out his hand, with Tessa immediately joining their hands. The warmth and familiarity sent tingles down both of their spines, as they quietly slipped out of Ella’s room. Tessa momentarily paused in the doorway to look at Ella and Rufus sleeping soundly. She smiled at the moment and took a picture with her mind, as she slowly shut the door, feeling how natural this entire situation felt. Perhaps this would be their forever.  
  
She took her hand off the doorknob and turned around finding the hazel eyes. Tessa wanted to thank him for reading to Ella and to give him that reassurance that she was okay with it, that he didn’t overstep his boundaries, but she was quickly cut off, “Scott, I—”  
  
Tessa didn’t have time for any more words before Scott’s lips softly met hers. She felt the softness of his lips move in rhythm with her own, and her thoughts quickly transitioned from what she was about to say to the current kiss. A soft moan escaped from the back of her throat, as she wrapped her hands around his neck and his muscular arms wrap tightly around her waist causing her body to melt.  
  
Scott’s tongue lightly traced her pink lips, before he pulled away. He tucked her hair behind her left ear and gently cupped her face, giving her the same look of adoration that he did all those years ago. “I have wanted to do that since the minute you ran down those stairs this morning,” Scott admitted shyly.  
  
She leaned in and kissed him once more, with slightly more pressure, before moving away from his lips. “You don’t know how happy I am that you’re here, Scott.”  
  
“You don’t know how lucky I feel that we have another chance at this, at us.”  
  
The corners of Tessa’s mouth twitched.  
  
“Will you go on a date with me?” asked Scott.  
  
Tessa’s heart fluttered slightly, temporarily breaking his stare, and feeling her face begin to flush. “Don’t you think we are past that?” She lightly joked, leaning in closer, so their noses grazed each other.  
  
“Never,” said Scott, “I’ll keep asking you on dates when we are eighty years old and pray that you won’t turn me down.”

Tessa giggled, brushing noses with him. “I’ll never turn you down, Scott. And to answer your question, yes, I’ll go on a date with you.”

“Now I feel even luckier,” He said pressing his lips up against hers quickly.

“Do you want to go to bed now?” whispered Tessa, reluctantly pulling her face farther away from his and unlocking her hands from around his neck to rest on his forearms. “I’m sure you’re tired after all that driving and getting up early.”

Scott suddenly felt the wave of tiredness rise in him, as he bobbed his head and let out a yawn. It was nearly ten when he and Ella went upstairs to read a story after the three of them lost track of time after dinner. They had watched movies, played board games, and with Ella’s toys, no one caring how late it was getting. By now it was approaching eleven and the sleepless night was beginning to catch up to him.

“Yeah, I probably should, even though I’d rather talk to you some more,” sleepily said Scott. He lightly squeezed Tessa’s waist, before turning around and walking towards the guest bedroom to change into his pajamas.

Tessa shook her head as he slowly moved down the hallway. “Is that where you are sleeping tonight then?”

Scott paused at the door and turned around to wink at her. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Virtch.”

Within minutes he was slipping out of the guest bedroom and into Tessa’s bedroom. His eyes slightly widened at the redone bedroom, giving her a baffled look when she walked out of the bathroom with a freshly washed face. She cocked her head to the side at his bewilderment, a gleam coming from her eyes.

“You redid it,” said Scott quizzingly gazing around the room.

“I wanted to start fresh. A new chapter in my life and all,” She said walking over to Scott and squeezing his hands, “or extending an old chapter.”

He smiled, “come on, Tess, let’s go to bed.”

They climbed into bed with Scott and Tessa on their usual sides, just like old times. Tessa turned to lay on her side, turning off her nightstand lamp, only to feel Scott’s arms wrap around her waist and pull her tightly against his body. One of her hands found his own, intertwining her fingers with his as her eyes flickered shut. Their bodies relaxed into each other, and it felt as though they were transported back in time all those years ago. They were surrounded by the fluffiest pillows and softest sheets and were once again in their own little world.

This was only the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! 
> 
> Did you all think I abandoned you? 
> 
> I apologize for the long period of time before updates. With the holiday season I was constantly busy doing last minute shopping, attending parties, and spending time with the people I love so dearly. It was hard to find that "quiet time" to sit down by myself and write, even though I was motivated to get this chapter up (I really wanted it up before Christmas). Alas, I hope it was worth the wait.
> 
> I know the current state of the fandom is a bit sad with the reality of the situation, and believe me I have been through the motions. I do hope that this story helps bring a little bit of fluff and happiness into the world and can distract you from the reality (It has certainly proved therapeutic for me to venture off into the world I control).
> 
> Comments are always appreciated and I try to get to them all or you can holler at me in my curiouscat or twitter (@virtue_moir_415). 
> 
> xx


	18. You're My Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa and Scott continue furthering their relationship and go on a date, while Ella starts asking questions about Mark's family.

The early morning sun poured through the quiet London bedroom, filling every corner with light. The warmth hit Scott’s face causing him to stir slightly and slowly blink open his eyes, to see the cream-colored walls of the room. The corners of his lips turned upright when his eyes flickered to the woman cradled in his arms peacefully asleep.

 

Her breathing was slow and steady, with an occasional sigh escaping her delicate pink lips. Scott propped himself up with his free arm, gazing over at sight in from of him. Their hands were interlocked, their legs tangled between the bedsheets and each other’s, and the thin strap of Tessa’s top sliding partly down her arm. Scott glanced over at the clock on her nightstand, letting out a sigh when he saw that it was approaching 8:30 and knowing that he should get up. Scott leaned forward and kissed her exposed shoulder blade, gave her hand a squeeze, and slowly slide his fingers out of her own.

 

“Mm, Scott?” whispered Tessa, stirring in the bed and reaching out to find his body that was now missing from the bed. She blinked her eyes open slowly and saw him emerge from the bathroom, now with a shirt and a pair of pajama bottoms on. His hair was slightly askew, and there were slight bags under his eyes, but nonetheless still contained the bright smile that reached his eyes was on his face.

 

“Morning beautiful,” He said, crouching down next to her side of the bed and gazing adoringly in her green eyes. One hand was placed on the top of Tessa’s hand, while his other lightly stroked the hair out of her face.

 

“Is it already time to get up?” She moaned, her eyelids fluttering shut.

 

Scott chuckled and kissed the temple of her face. “You don’t have to get up. Go back to sleep if you want, Tess.”

 

Tessa smiled, “I just want to lay here a bit longer, but I should get up in a bit.”

 

“I’ll make you some coffee?” He asked.

 

She nodded slightly.

 

He pressed his lips firmly against Tessa’s, feeling her own melt against his. His heart began to race in his chest, as Tessa’s hand came up and ran through his hair, smoothing down the tousled locks. She pulled away first and gave him a toothy grin, before nuzzling her head back down on her pillow.  

 

Scott stood in his place and quietly walked out of the bedroom, making sure to turn around and look at Tessa one last time. He padded towards Ella’s closed door, making sure not to step on any of the creaky floorboards he knew so well. Quietly opening the door to Ella’s room, his eyes glanced at Ella who was curled up in a ball clutching Sir Bunchkins, her mouth slightly open continuing to look as innocent as ever. Scott smiled, his heart suddenly feeling full before he tore his gaze away from Ella to look at Rufus who perked his head up.

 

“Want to go outside?” whispered Scott.

 

The dog immediately stood up from the dog bed and began stretching out its legs, while letting out a yawn of its own. Scott laughed and ushered for Rufus to hurry out of the room, who was slowly trotting towards the door still slightly drowsy from his own deep sleep.

 

“Was the pink dog bed really that luxurious?” Scott questioned his dog, as he shut the door to Ella’s bedroom.

 

Rufus raised one of his ears slightly and tilted his head, wagging his tail.

 

Scott rolled his eyes. “Damn it, I was really hoping that you were going to tell me that your red dog bed was the best.”

 

They walked down the stairs towards the mudroom, where Tessa had placed Scott’s winter boots and coat, as well as Rufus’s lead. Scott sat down on the bench, grabbing his winter boots, and sliding them on his feet, as Rufus sat in front of him giving him a look.

 

“I know, boy, I know. You’re not used to getting up late to go outside, huh?”

 

Rufus pawed at Scott’s shin.

 

He chuckled and rubbed the top of Rufus’s head, before tying up the rest of his boots and slipping on his coat. Scott put the leash on Rufus and grabbed a poop bag and began disabling the alarm system when he heard the family light footsteps walking down the hallway towards the mudroom. Knowing who exactly it is, he took his hand off the doorknob and turned around, glancing down at Rufus’s head dropping.

 

“There you are!” beamed Ella. She walked into the room, holding onto one of Sir Bunchkins’ arms and smiling at Scott.

 

“What are you doing up so early, kiddo?” smiled Scott.

 

“I normally wake up at this time and let Mommy sleep. She lets me watch TV or play with my toys on this floor until she wakes up,” shrugged Ella, taking a seat on the bench with her legs swinging. “I woke up, and Rufus was gone, and your bed was already made in your room. I was scared you left us.”

 

“Leave you? Why would you say that?” He shifted his weight and leaned against the door glancing at Tessa’s little girl.

 

“You did at Christmas,” She shyly admitted, looking down at her hands.

 

“Oh, Ella, that will never happen again. You have several months of Rufus and me, and soon enough, you will be tired and wanted us gone.”

 

Ella looked up at him, scrunching her nose, and shaking her head. “I don’t think so. You make me and Mommy happy. I hope we make you happy.”

 

Scott smiled and met Ella’s eyes, temporarily ignoring Rufus’s whining and pawing at the door. “I haven’t been this happy in a long time, kiddo,” He reassured her, before glancing down at his fur companion, “do you want to take Rufus on a short walk with me?”

 

She nodded energetically and immediately snatched her boots out of the small cubby underneath the bench. Scott helped her lace up her shoes and zip up her coat, as Ella shoved a toque over her messy curls not caring what she looked like. A bright smile shot across her face, as she took Scott’s hand and the two walked out the back door of Tessa’s house, with Scott making sure to lock the door with the key Tessa had given him last night.

 

They began walking down the streets, enjoying the crisp, early-spring breeze on the peaceful Sunday morning. Spring was slowly starting to arrive in southern Ontario. The heaping amount of snow had mostly melted, turning the sidewalks and streets into piles of slush, and the daffodils that were planted were due to bloom any day.

 

Ella held onto Scott’s hand, swinging it back and forth gleefully, as they made their way along the kilometer loop. She aimlessly chatted about her favorite things she’s learned in school, how Ella got new dance outfits, and her Mommy’s old Barbie’s that she got to play with at Grandma Kate’s. And Scott listened to every word of it, even when they stopped, and Rufus did some of his business.

 

It wasn’t until they were several houses away from Tessa’s that Ella stopped Scott and Rufus and stared up at them. “Can I tell you something? You can’t tell Mommy because it’s a secret.”

 

“Of course,” said Scott giving her a curious look.

 

Ella sighed and stared ahead at her house. “My friends at school and dance ask me about my Daddy.”

 

“Oh yeah?”

 

She nodded and bit her lip. “Yeah, they know he is dead.”

 

Scott sucked in a breath,  listened to the sadness creep in Ella’s tone. He hadn’t heard her upset since the day at the park where he reassured Ella that he would look out for her the way Mark used to. Scott knew that Mark’s death hadn’t been easy on either Virtue girls, but at the same time, never really saw Ella grieve to the extent Tessa did. It had hit Ella later when the innocent questions started flying in from her friends about her father. To be young and have to explain something that big to other four-year-old kids. None of them would understand, and in many ways, Ella was still too young to truly understand.

 

“Do they get sad too?” asked Scott, unsure how to respond.

 

“Yeah, but then they ask me what he was like. Then I don’t know.”

 

“What do you mean you don’t know?” asked Scott.

 

Ella shrugged her shoulders, using her free hand to wipe at the corners of her eyes. “I don’t remember him that much; only what Mommy has told me about him. I remember how he smelled, his laugh, and what he looked like.”

 

Scott squeezed Ella’s hands, before crouching down and wrapping an arm around her small frame. He began wiping away Ella’s own tears, while suppressing his own, seeing Ella’s sadness that she would never get to know her father. “Well, that is something right?”

 

“Yeah, but that I feel stupid for just telling them that. They tell stories about what they do with their daddies.”

 

“That’s okay, Ella. Everyone is different, and that is normal. We all come from different types of families and backgrounds, and that is what makes everyone unique and their own person.”

 

A tear slid from Ella’s face, with Scott soon catching it and rubbing her lower back. “Yeah, but I make up stories about what I do with Daddy.”

 

“Kiddo, you shouldn’t lie. I know your Mommy has made it clear that lying is wrong.”

 

“I’m only kind of lying.”

 

He raised an eyebrow.

 

Ella met Scott’s eyes, a bashful look spreading across her face. “I tell them stories about how we play because I think of you as a second Daddy.”

 

Scott’s heart fluttered, and he started feeling slightly unbalanced in his crouched position. He knew he wanted that title to Ella one day, Scott had known it for quite some time, but he also knew that he couldn’t let Ella call or refer to him like that. He wasn’t her father yet, and he didn’t even know what his title would be once he took that next step with Tessa. That was a conversation that was still needed to happen between Tessa and Scott if it ever reached that point. 

 

He adjusted his position and pulled Ella closer to his side, glancing over at Rufus who was busy sniffing a patch of grass. “You know what I think you should do? I think you should tell your friends about the fun you have with your friend, Scott, and it is just as much fun as it would be with your Daddy.”

 

“But if I can’t have Daddy, then I want another one to have a real family,” whined Ella rubbing her eyes. 

 

“I’ll let you in on a little secret, Ella. Families come in all shapes and sizes, and sometimes your family is the people who aren’t related to you.” He smiled softly at her and pushed her hair back underneath her toque. 

 

“So like you and Mommy?” 

 

Scott nodded, “Mommy and I have been each other’s family since we were little. We lived away from our families and only had each other. It is okay that you don’t have your Daddy, as long as you know that you are loved by many people.”

 

She sniveled and wiped at her nose, gazing into Scott’s eyes. She nodded her head, understanding what Scott was saying, before wrapping her small arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug. “I love you, Scott. You’re my family.”

 

Scott’s eyelids fluttered shut, hearing those words escape Ella’s mouth. He pulled her closer to him and rubbed her back, grinning widely. “I love you too, kiddo. I’ll never let anything harm you.”

 

* * *

 

“Mommy, you know who I have been thinking about?” asked Ella sitting on her bed, swinging her feet back and forth.

 

Tessa looked over her shoulder and glanced at Ella, before focusing her attention back on sorting through Ella’s clothes. Her fingers hovered over one of her favorite shirts of Ella’s from a year ago, releasing a sigh when she realized Ella had outgrown it. It was one of the rare times Mark went to the mall to get something at the Apple store but came back with a cute shirt for Ella. It had short puffy sleeves and was a baby pink color, with a small bow in the front. She pushed away those thoughts and cleared her throat, as she grabbed the shirt off the clothing rod. 

 

“Who Ella?” replied Tessa, mentally preparing herself for Ella to say, Mark.

 

“Grandma and Grandpa. I don’t see them much.”

 

Tessa grabbed a few more clothing items off the rod, knowing with certainty that Ella had grown out of it. She placed the clothes in the empty basket and shuffled over to Ella, who was sadly stroking her stuffed rabbit’s ears. “You saw Grandma last week, and Grandpa a couple weeks ago, honey.”

 

“No, my other ones, Mommy. Daddy’s parents” said Ella. 

 

Her heart clenched from hearing Ella’s response, unsure how to respond. They hadn’t seen Mark’s parents since the long weekend in October. It was an early Thanksgiving in their Kitchener home that just caused hurt more than joy. It was the first time that side of the family was together since Mark’s funeral, with the weight of the situation still heavy. It would never be the same without him there to fill the room with his humor and constant joy. Instead, it consisted of Carey and Vince going on about how Ella’s face and expression just looked like Mark, and it was hard to look at. Tessa thought it was nothing at the time, and continued to make plans for their usual Christmas get together on Boxing Day. Instead, that didn’t happen, his family left for a vacation in Florida claiming they were trying to be “snowbirds” post-retirement. Tessa didn’t understand why they were slowly removing themselves from Ella’s life. Wouldn’t they want to be close to the last piece of Mark?

 

Tessa wrapped an arm around Ella, pulling her closer to her side. “Grandma Carey and Grandpa Vince? You haven’t seen them in a while, huh?”

 

Ella nodded with a pout. 

 

“Well, they have been on vacation. Remember that’s why we didn’t see them at Christmas time?”

 

“I guess,” She sighed, “but that’s a long vacation.”

 

Tessa let out a fake laugh and kissed Ella’s forehead, trying to not show her own disappointment in the situation.  “Yes, but when you are retired, you have options, and they wanted a very long vacation.”

 

“Will I ever see them again, Mommy?” questioned Ella. 

 

The truth was Tessa didn’t know the answer. The last time she talked to Mark’s parents was on Christmas, where they just exchanged simple text messages, with her last one about getting together in the New Year left unread. She didn’t know what she could do to help the situation if this was their version of grieving over the loss of their son.

 

She rubbed her daughter’s back and gave her a small smile. “Yeah, I’m sure you will. Now, how about we get you settled into bed? You have school tomorrow, and Mommy has to work.” Tessa climbed off the edge of the bed and waited for Ella to shift her position underneath the sheets. 

 

“Hold on, I need to say goodnight to Rufus!” enthusiastically said Ella, climbing off the bed and running over to the dog bed where Rufus was already curled up in. His eyes opened at the sound of Ella’s footsteps, his tail wagging, as she bent down to scratch him and plant kisses on his head. “Goodnight Rufus, I will see you in the morning for our walk.”

 

“A walk?” Tessa questioned, tilting her head to the side. 

 

Ella nodded her head and crawled into her bed. “Yeah, Scott promised me that he would wake me up for Rufus’s morning walks then make us breakfast. He said you need your beauty sleep and the morning can be for us.”

 

Tessa laughed and tucked in Ella, by pulling the sheets up to her chin. “Maybe we will actually not have to rush to school now, eh?” She planted several kisses on Ella cheeks and nose, taking in her daughter’s intoxicating giggle. “Ready for your prayer?”

 

The prayer was something that Tessa incorporated into Ella’s life shortly after Mark passed away. Ella had gone through a phase where she was afraid to sleep at night, worried that one time she would close her eyes and not wake up again like her father. It was then that Tessa recalled her own prayer she learned from her grandmother, to get a sense of safety at night, but this time Tessa added a word to always ensure that connection to Mark.

 

“Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep; Daddy’s Angel, please watch me through the night, and wake me with the morning light. Amen,” Ella and Tessa repeatedly softly, both opening their eyes at the same time and smiling at one another.

 

“Do you need anything else before you go to sleep? More water?” asked Tessa, adjusting the covers at the side of Ella. She watched her daughter shake her head and sleepily blink her eyes, once again leaning down to kiss her forehead. “Okay Ella, have a good sleep. I love you.”

 

“I love you too, Mommy,” smiled Ella closing her eyes. 

 

Tessa stood up from the bed and turned off the nightstand lamp, after ensuring that Ella’s night light was turned on. She walked over and gave Rufus a scratch, letting him lick her chin and swat his tail on the ground. As Tessa’s fingernails started scratching at Rufus’s side, he quickly fell over to his side and opened up his legs, begging for his belly to be rubbed. 

 

She shook her head and rolled her eyes, but succumbed to the dog’s request. “You’ll make sure Ella stays safe too, right?” questioned Tessa. Rufus perked up his ears in return, his own version of saying “yes.” “Good boy. You have a good sleep too.”

 

Within seconds, Tessa was quietly shutting the door to Ella’s bedroom and walking towards her own. She heard Scott downstairs clanking the dirty dishes around in the sink while listening to the sports recap on TSN. Biting her lip, she paused by her bedroom door smiling at the situation.  It had only been a day and a half since Scott arrived for his stay and it once again amazed her how simultaneously he integrated himself into their life. It had been the best two days they had in a while, and it started to become more real to Tessa that this could one day be her forever when she was ready for it.

 

Other things needed to be discussed and figured out, as well as their families and Mark’s family accepting their relationship. She also knew she didn’t want to rush anything with Scott, even though the secret kisses and makeout session from the first night made her body desperate for more. 

 

She brushed those thoughts away as she began to remove the slight bit of makeup she put on her face, letting the tiredness start to hit her. With freshly brushed teeth and her pajamas, Tessa slipped into bed. She propped her pillow up and grabbed her book off her nightstand, trying to ease her thoughts about the future and focus on the present. 

 

Tessa wasn’t sure how long she was reading until she saw Scott hovering over her and smiling. He leaned down and kissed her softly, and stroked her hair several times. A smile spread on Tessa’s face as she placed the bookmark in her book and put it on her nightstand. “What a lovely surprise,” She mused taking hold of his hand, “thanks for cleaning up down there.”

 

He grinned tracing his thumb over the top of her hand. “Least I can do since you’re letting me live here for several months,” Scott chuckled. He looked down at their hands, then met her eyes and immediately frowned. “Everything okay?”

 

“Ella brought up Mark’s parents,” She swallowed.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I think they are avoiding us.” She bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut, rubbing her face. “I’m just frustrated with all the unreturned voicemails and text messages. I don’t want them out of Ella’s life.”

 

Scott silently agreed.

 

“We haven’t seen them since October, around Thanksgiving. The entire time they were there they kept commenting about how Ella reminds them so much of Mark. Yet, they don’t seem to want to try? Wouldn’t they want to know their only grandchild?” She reached Scott’s eyes trying to desperately find a source of comfort.

 

“Why don’t you try reaching out to them one more time? They should be back from vacation by now and may be used their time away to grieve and reset,” He said climbing over her and sliding under the covers. He laid on his side, one hand under the pillow and the other covering his mouth as he yawned. 

 

She pinched the bridge of her nose, letting out a long breath. “I hope that is the case. I know things are different now, I get that, but I don’t want Mark’s passing to make Ella not know his family at all. I want her to know parts of him, even if he can’t be there.”

 

“I think you’re doing a good job to keep him in Ella’s world, despite him physically not being here,” whispered Scott, “I see the way you pray with Ella at night, how you aren’t afraid to tell a story about him or remind her that she was loved. You’re doing the best you can do, Tess. It isn’t your fault that his family has pulled themselves away.”

 

“I just hope they reach out to me. I feel sick when I think about Ella growing up and never really knowing where that other half came from.”

 

“The only thing you can do is reach out and try not to worry,” soothed Scott, his hand grabbing one of hers. She gave him a pointed look knowing that it was easier said than done. “Easier said than done, I know.”

 

“It makes it a bit easier with you here,” She admitted, gazing at him adoringly, “sometimes I wonder if this is all a dream.”

 

His fingers delicately traced her bare shoulder, inching himself closer to her small frame. “Why would you say that?”

 

“It feels too good to be true . . . The idea of us getting one more chance at being together. If someone were to ask me a year ago if this was where I would be, I would have laughed.” She paused to stare at him, making sure that wasn’t misconstruing any of her words. “A year ago I was with Mark, planning on having another child, and thinking that I would never feel that romantic longing for you ever again. I always knew we would have that friendship, but I thought the romance faded.”

 

“I thought the same thing too,” admitted Scott, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her slightly closer to him. “It was your birthday and Mom was questioning if I was still in love with you. I said no, I was adamant about that. Except, when you came to Montreal and we--”

 

“We danced,” She finished.

 

“Yeah, at that ridiculous club we were out of place at.”

 

They both began laughing recalling the horror they faced when they showed up at the meet-up with Chiddy, to see very young adults swarming the outskirts of the club. It was the same night that they shared a dance that reignited the flame that never quite died within them. That despite their friendship connection being there, their desire and longing for each other was still intact. It was then that they both fought back the feeling and denied feeling that way again towards each other. 

 

Tessa’s eyelids began getting heavy as they laughed and talked about past memories, with Scott soon taking notice of her sleepy state. He grabbed ahold of her waist and pulled her even closer to his bare chest, kissing the top of her head and feeling her nuzzle into his shoulder. 

 

“Ready for sleep?” He murmured into her hair after several minutes passed.

 

“Yeah, we probably should,” Tessa yawned. She opened up her eyes and temporarily sat up and away from Scott’s arms to turn off the lamp on her nightstand. As the moon illuminated her room, she glanced down at Scott who was laying on his side and stretching out his arms, waiting for her to fit against him perfectly.

 

That was the thing about sleeping with Scott that never escaped grew old. Tessa always felt a sense of security and comfort when her back was pressed against his chest and his arms wrapped around her waist. Their bodies fit together like a perfect puzzle piece that no one else could completely fill. Their hearts beat as one every time they held onto each other, giving them that complete sense of calm.

 

Tessa leaned down and gave Scott a kiss that lingered far too long, before tucking in against his side, feeling him give her several more wet kisses on her neck. Her hand reached up to run through his hair, as her eyelids fluttered shut. 

 

“What are you doing this Saturday?” He murmured, giving her another kiss on the check. He placed his head down on the pillow and shifted their bodies closer together. 

 

“You tell me. What am I doing?” sassily remarked Tessa.

 

“Going on that date, you agreed to with me. You think that is feasible?”

 

She turned her head around slightly and lightly touched their noses. “I’m counting down the days.”

 

* * *

 

Tessa weaved through the busy crowd at Union Station, exhausted after a day filled with business meetings. She had been up since nearly 4:30 a.m., groaning as the soft tune of her alarm went off, and not wanting to unwrap herself from Scott’s warm body. Even after years of training on the ice, Tessa still hadn’t managed to become a morning person, making a 6:30 a.m. train seem like an impossible task. Although just like old times, Scott greeted her with a cup of coffee while she was doing her makeup.

 

She had been nervous leaving Scott with the responsibility of getting Ella ready off to school, despite knowing that they would be perfectly fine. The two of them were inseparable in the mornings, with Tessa often finding herself walking downstairs to see them curled up on the couch watching Treehouse. Regardless, she had spent the night going over the morning routine with Scott. 

 

“Please brush through her hair and clip back the bangs from her face. Here, this will match her outfit,” Tessa stated, as they stood in Ella’s bathroom and she was rummaging through the drawers. She placed Ella’s brush and a hair clip on the countertop, sleepily looking down in the open drawer to make sure she didn't forget anything. 

 

“Got it,” whispered Scott, moving Tessa’s hair aside to plant several light kisses on her neck. Her eyes had fluttered shut, a soft moan escaping her lips. “Let’s go to bed, Tess, you have to get up soon” It was then he had picked her up, as if she was a bride, and carried her to bed. They had drifted off within minutes of hitting the bed, both tired from the day they had. 

 

Now she stood in line at the Tim Horton’s inside the train station looking down at her phone and texting Scott that she would soon be on her way back. He had no issues with Ella this morning; they had done their newly established routine that involved Scott waking up Ella to take Rufus on a walk, followed by her getting ready for Junior Kindergarten. Tessa smiled at the picture Scott texted her. It was a selfie of Scott and Ella in front of her school with the caption “made it with her hair brushed!” Tessa rolled her eyes and giggled at seeing the picture once again before she sent him a quick message. 

 

This felt good. This felt natural. 

 

Except, as she exited out of the conversation, a lump formed in her throat. She noticed that the messages to Carey and Vince were all left unanswered. She had sent them a text message a few days ago, giving them a brief update about Ella and asked to meet up when they were in town, but once again got no response. Her calls and voicemails were also unreturned. She didn’t understand why they were ignoring her, and she kept fighting the urge to drive to Kitchener with Ella to check on them in person. 

 

Tessa put her phone back in her coat pocket and ordered a coffee, opting to not focus on the pressing problem with Mark’s family. She stood to the side of the counter waiting for her order and glancing at the people around her, only to notice the familiar chestnut hair and strong jawline that she would recognize in any crowd. 

 

Liz. 

 

Mark’s sister that Tessa hadn’t seen since the funeral. She had taken Mark’s death extremely hard, considering how close she and Mark had been growing up. They were each other’s support system and confidants ever since they were little, with Liz and Mark talking several times a week. She had put on a strong face for everyone at the funeral, but Tessa knew she was hurting and would disappear to Vancouver for work. 

 

“Liz?” called out Tessa, quickly grabbing her coffee from the counter and walking over towards her. 

 

Liz alarmingly turned her head around, her eyes widening upon seeing Tessa. She stuffed her phone in her purse and forced a smile across her face, as Tessa approached her. “Tessa, hi! What brings you here?”

 

Tessa gave Liz a quick hug, immediately feeling a sense of coolness in it. “I could ask you the same thing. What brings you to Toronto?”

 

“I moved back home to Kitchener in the New Year. Temporarily living with Mom and Dad until I find a place of my own,” said Liz, awkwardly shifting her eyes away from Tessa’s, “I wanted to be closer since. . . well, you know.”

 

Tessa swallowed and nodded, taking a sip of her coffee. “Are you doing okay though?”

 

“Better with each day. Yourself?”

 

“I’m good, finding that new normal in life,” whispered Tessa, wondering if she should mention Scott. “Ella misses you guys, you know. I sent you and your parents a photo of her with the Christmas presents I bought with the money and I--”

 

“Save it.”

 

Tessa’s eyes widened, her hand going to the necklace Scott gave her for Christmas and started nervously playing with it. “I beg your pardon? I just am trying to stay connected, and I have tried to meet up with you guys.”

 

Liz rolled her eyes and looked away. “Stop lying, Tessa, just stop. I don’t get it, okay?” A mix of hurt and sadness raged in Liz’s blue eyes, her shoulders slouching. “You have the only living part of Mark still left, and you choose to keep her from our parents. How do you think that makes them feel?”

 

Tessa couldn’t prevent her mouth from falling open, and her lips trembling as she tried to find the right words. This was the opposite of what she had done since Thanksgiving, always pushing for a meetup or for Ella to go over and spend alone time with them. “Liz, I don’t think you understand. I have reached out to them constantly, but the last I heard from them they were in Florida for winter. I--” She blinked rapidly, digging out her phone from her pocket and pulling up the text messages, “This has to be a misunderstanding.”

 

“Why would they lie?”

 

“I don’t know, but please look,” pleaded Tessa holding out her phone to Liz. 

 

Liz looked at Tessa hesitantly before grabbing the phone out of Tessa’s hands and scrolling through the text messages. Her face immediately softened when she finished going through the text messages looking up at Tessa, with an apologetic expression. “I’m sorry, I--”

 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” whispered Tessa.

 

“Why would they say that?”

 

“I don’t know, but I wish I did. I have been trying for months, Ella keeps asking about them, and the last thing I want is for her to not know Mark’s family. You have to believe that.” 

 

Tears brimmed in the corners of Liz’s eyes when she handed the phone back to Tessa.  She rapidly blinked trying to prevent the tears from falling from her face, not wanting other people to see the upset between the two sisters-in-law. Liz tucked her hair behind her ears and shifted her weight, looking down at the ground. Liz softly said, “Does she still look like him? Does she still have Mark’s face?”

 

Tessa nodded, her voice slightly croaking. “She looks just like him except for the eyes and hair. I try to remind her about him every day, to make sure that this isn’t what should have happened.”

 

“I miss him a lot,” admitted Liz.

 

Tessa’s heart pounded in her chest, as she stared at the continued pain of Mark’s passing in Liz’s face.  “I do too,” softly said Tessa.

 

There were a few minutes of silence between the sisters-in-law, both processing everything that had happened in the past ten months. There was a lot of pain and suffering in Mark’s passing, a death that came premature and sudden. They both wished things were different, that Ella wouldn’t grow up without her father, but it had to be this way for a while. Yet, Tessa knew that Ella wouldn’t be left without a father, that Ella would have Scott one day. Although how would Mark’s family take it? Would they respect Tessa for moving on?

 

Liz interrupted Tessa’s thoughts. “I’m going to talk to my parents, get them to see her. But if not, I want to see her...if that’s okay.”

 

Tessa smiled, “She would love that more than ever.”

 

* * *

 

Scott walked through the backdoor of Tessa’s place whistling, as he kicked off his boots in the mudroom and set his keys on the counter. He had spent the day at the skate shop helping Uncle Paul sharpen blades and organize the skates in the back, as well as stopping in at the rink to see Aunt Carol and his mom. Everyone was happy to see him, glad that he was going to keep busy while Tessa worked, but continued to tease him with the question of when they were going to meet Ella.

 

The majority of his family were well aware of how Scott fell for Tessa again, as well as her little girl. It was easy to see when he brought them up, considering the look they saw in his eyes: pure happiness. They were happy for him, a bit cautious about how fast the relationship began shortly after his divorce finalized and Mark’s passing, but told him to follow his heart. And once again, his heart led him back to Tessa. 

 

“Tess?” He hollered, smiling after seeing her car parked in the driveway and her purse laying on the counter. “Where are you?”

 

There was no response. 

 

He looked over at Rufus who was wagging his tail and focused on chewing on a bone, not wanting to budge from the family room off of the kitchen. Scott shook his head at the dog, suddenly hearing music playing upstairs. He continued grinning, as he walked out of the kitchen and towards the direction of the music. 

 

“Tess, what are you doing up here?” laughed Scott walking in her bedroom. He rolled his eyes after hearing the familiar Hall and Oates tunes and strolled towards the bathroom door. “Don’t these same songs get boring after awhile? You really are living up to the . . . holy fuck.”

 

Scott immediately froze in his place upon seeing Tessa standing up from the draining bathtub. She stood in front of him directly, but her head was ducked down as she turned off her music not noticing him standing in the doorway. The lower part of her body still had a few traces of bubbles from her bath, her hair piled on top of her hair in a messy bun. He couldn’t help but stare at all of Tessa right in front of him. He found it difficult to focus on anything else, as he stared at her figure baffled at how she continued to look phenomenal after all of these years. 

 

She looked the same in so many ways, but different in others. The differences reminding Scott about Tessa becoming a mother. Her abs were not as prominent as they used to be, with a tiny stomach in her lower abdomen, which was normal after pregnancy. Yet, she still donned her characteristic belly button ring that Scott was with when she got it. It was the piercing that made him go crazy every time he felt it during skating. Scott used to think that Tessa couldn’t get more attractive back when they were together. Yet seeing her now, seeing all of her post-pregnancy he couldn’t help but realize she was more beautiful than ever before. 

 

“Scott, hi!” She said, obviously startled. Tessa’s cheeks flushed, as she unrolled the towel and held it in front of her body. She seemed at a loss of words, almost unable to move, as they stared at each other. 

 

Scott awkwardly broke eye contact and turned around slightly to give her privacy. “Sorry, I didn’t realize that you were indecent . . . I, uh,” His words fell flat not knowing how else to respond.

 

There was a lingering pause of silence, the situation rendering them speechless.

 

Tessa swallowed, attempting to lighten up the awkwardness, “I had something different in mind when I pictured you seeing all of me for the first time after Ella. Dimmer lighting, lingerie, maybe a glass or two of wine.” 

 

The words seemed to hit Scott, realizing that Tessa still had that underlying insecurity about her appearance. A vulnerability that developed when she was younger and Marina told her she needed to be thinner to be an Olympic champion. She always compared herself to all the other skaters, blaming herself for being heavy for issues in the lift. It got to the point where it wasn’t just her weight that bothered her, it was her breasts being too small and her nose being too long. Except, Scott never saw those problems that began consuming Tessa’s mind. She was beautiful on the inside and out under any circumstance.

 

He turned around and stared at her, seeing her tightly securing the towel around her body. Without hesitation, he walked over towards Tessa and placed his hand on top of her own preventing him from withdrawing it. Their eyes met, and he could see the underlying nervousness about how he perceived her body after all these years. 

 

“Scott,” She whispered softly, looking down at their hands and back up at him. She chewed on her bottom lip. 

 

He released his hand from the top of hers seeing her stiffen slightly. “Come on let’s get you out of the tub, beautiful,” Scott smiled.

 

He withdrew his hand from hers and opened his arms. Tessa tentatively looked at him, only to succumb to her own innate desire and placed her hands around his neck. Scott’s arms locked around Tessa’s waist, as he lifted her over the edge of the bathtub. He cradled her as if she was the most precious thing on Earth, knowing that he would never drop her. Scott remained holding onto her waist,  maintaining her at eye level. 

 

Scott’s heart pounded in his chest, as he stared into Tessa’s eyes. He wanted to kiss her, he wanted to be official with her. He knew that she had fallen for him again, and he made his point clear that she was it for him. Yet there were so many answered questions between them and where they stood now. Scott knew it needed to be addressed, he knew that they needed to talk about the future and the next step in their relationship. It was only a matter of time before they reached the inevitable and had to discuss it. 

 

His thoughts drifted in and out, as he continued to stare into Tessa’s eyes. Their faces were so close to touching he could feel her warm breath against his face, which only rendered him breathless. “Tess,” Scott managed to say, their noses lightly grazing each other.

 

“You really think I’m more beautiful with my stretch marks?” She spoke, her eyes filled with wonder. “And the flabby skin on my stomach? I’m different now, Scott.” Her hands moved from behind his neck to touch either side of his face.

 

She gave him that look that would always make him feel weak in his knees. That would cause his soul to ignite, and captivate him in a way that no other person could ever do. He always knew there was a reason why it never worked out with past girlfriends, and maybe it all came down to fate. Perhaps his heart was only supposed to belong to one girl and no one else. It was the same girl that captured it when they were only seven and nine. The same girl that always gave him the benefit of the doubt, no matter how many times he acted like an idiot. Scott had loved her his entire life, and being with her now, after all this time apart, continued to make it more transparent to him.  Tessa was always meant to be his forever.

 

Scott continued to stare into her green eyes, that seemed to always sparkle. “You still remain to be the only woman who takes my breath away. You are beautiful, Tessa, no matter how many flaws you see in yourself.”

 

Tessa responded by kissing him firmly, their lips molding around each other like a perfect puzzle piece. Her lips were warm and soft causing Scott to melt further at her tantalizing touch. They stood in her bathroom kissing each other for minutes, neither knowing how much time passed. Tessa continued to be held inches off the ground and neither to break their lips from each other. 

 

As their kisses increased in intensity, Scott couldn’t help but wonder if this would lead anywhere. He knew that it came down to Tessa making the first move, that he would never dare push her into something she wasn’t ready for. Except, as her hands moved from his face to tug on his hair he couldn’t resist, but let out a groan. 

 

He could feel Tessa’s smirk and knew she was amused she had that power over him. She tugged at his lower lip and pulled away, staring at him breathlessly. He sucked in his breath as she lightly ran her fingernails on the back of his head, giving him a look that nearly made him lose control of himself. Scott gently placed her on the ground, and Tessa’s hands migrated from the back of his head to rest on his chest. A smile spread across her face, as she bit her lip and stared up at him. 

 

“What do you want, T?” 

 

Scott expected her to take her time answering, but the answer came simply to her. “I want you,” Tessa simply said... She looked briefly at her hands on his chest and the back up at him. A mischievous look in her eyes, as her hands moved down to play with the hem of his shirt. “If you’ll have me.”

 

He gulped away the lump in his throat, realizing what she meant. His heart raced in his chest, he tried to suppress his excitement. “Are you sure?” 

 

“More than ever,” replied Tessa, going on her tiptoes to give him a kiss. 

 

When their lips touched again, a new sense of longing came over them, as if they had been deprived their entire life. Tessa aggressively yanked at the hem of Scott’s shirt, wanting it more than ever to be off. She pushed the shirt halfway up his chest, with one of her fingers gently grazing the small trail of hair below his belly button. A guttural groan escaped Scott, pulling away from Tessa’s lips to finish taking off his shirt.

 

He pulled Tessa towards him, only a towel standing between their chests. One of Tessa’s hands found his belt buckle slowly undoing his belt. She pulled away from him first, her smile reaching her eyes, as she undid the top button and zipper of his jeans, letting his pants fall to his ankles. Before he even had a chance to react to that move of hers, she immediately undid her towel letting it drop to the floor. His eyes widened once again at the site of her body, quickly moving to find the spot on her neck. 

 

He found the spot quickly, still remembering where it was after all of these years. He nipped at her neck lightly, hearing the moan escape her lips and pulled away to see her eyelids flutter shut at his touch. Scott chuckled and continued to plant wet kisses down her collarbone to slowly meet her breasts. 

 

“Now let’s hope there isn’t a phone call this time,” He lightly joked, both of them laughing softly recalling the last time they were interrupted. 

 

His mouth quickly found its way around one of Tessa’s hardened nipples, tracing light circles around it. Goosebumps formed on her skin at the sensation of his touch, sending shivers of pleasure down her spine. 

 

Scott stood back up moments later, his hands finding their place on her rounded butt cheeks. He lightly squeezed it causing Tessa’s own breath to hitch. A quiet moan escaped her lips, as she tugged on his hair at the back of his head. He picked her up from underneath her ass, and Tessa’s legs immediately locked behind his back. 

 

He effortlessly led her out of the bathroom and to her bed, placing Tessa on the center of the bed. Scott hovered over her and kissed her again, his tongue meeting hers briefly. He wrapped his arm underneath her back and scooted her up the bed, while his free hand pushed the decorative pillows off the bed. 

 

“So many damn pillows,” He muttered under his breath. 

 

Tessa giggled and began kissing his neck, as he arranged the pillows accordingly. His eyelids fluttered shut at the touch of her lips where his collarbone met his shoulder, while her fingertips traced the dip in his back.  

 

“T, if you keep this up I’m not going to last much longer,” Scott grunted, “and we aren’t even at the good part.”

 

“Who said I wanted this to be slow?”

 

She gave him several more kisses along his neck and pulled her head back. 

 

The sultry tone of her words almost made Scott come undone right there. He stared at her for several seconds, before kissing and grinding his hardened member against her.  His tongue met her own, as one of his hands slid down her stomach towards her core. A single touch was enough to cause Tessa’s hips to buck upwards, already pleading for more. His index and middle finger light moved her clit in circles and up-and-down motions, paying attention to what caused Tessa the most pleasure. It was the same pattern and rhythm that it always had been.

 

Her core began growing wetter, as he increased the intensity of the pattern she liked. Tessa squirmed underneath him, pulling away from his kiss and her eyes pleading for more. Just as he was about to insert one of his fingers, her hand grabbed ahold of his wrist. 

 

“Need all of you, now,” she said.

 

“Do you have any--” He glanced towards her nightstand drawer.

 

“IUD.”

 

Her fingers slipped inside the band of his boxers, trying her best to pull them down his hips. A needy whine escaped her lips, as she struggled to move them down, and he stared at her slightly amused. He could see her getting flustered and even needier, as she let out a frustrated, “Scott, please. I need you inside of me, right now.”

 

“Hold on, Tess,” Scott chuckled, “have a bit of patience.”He lifted his hips upwards, using one hand to move his boxers down his legs. With the underwear tossed aside, he turned back towards Tessa to line himself up with her. Scott stared into her green eyes, both hands rested on either side of her face, making sure that this was what she wanted. “Are you good?”

 

“Yes, never been better.’

 

He slowly slid inside of her, both taking in every sensation of her tight and velvet like walls. When he was all the way in he stared at Tessa, who was smiling out of sheer happiness. It was then that he began moving in and out of her, each thrust becoming harder with every moan that came out of her mouth. 

 

Sex with Tessa had always been good, no matter where or when they did it. They knew every groove and nerve in each other’s bodies and could tell what each other liked or didn’t like with a single look. Seldom did they ever do something the other one didn’t want. They knew each other better than anyone else in the world, and sex made their relationship more special than it already was. 

 

“Faster, Scott, harder,” She moaned, gripping onto either side of his shoulders. 

 

He began driving into her faster and harder, beads of sweat forming on both of their hairlines. Scott leaned down and kissed her quickly, feeling Tessa’s tongue graze his own lips. He continued to pick up the pace feeling his orgasm building, and he could tell by the way Tessa was moaning and the way her body clenched around him that she was close as well. In so many ways, it felt like picking up right where they left off many years ago. 

 

Moments later they were wrapped up in each other’s embrace, both pleasantly satisfied after reaching their state of euphoria. Tessa’s head rested on his sweaty chest, tracing circles with her fingertips, while Scott ran a hand through her hair. They both laid there in silence staring at the ceiling and smiling, taking in how happy they both felt after sex.

 

“Well, I didn’t expect sex to happen again like this,” admitted Scott.

 

Tessa giggled and rolled over, sitting up and staring down at him. “Well, expect the unexpected with us right?” 

 

He smirked. “Now, how am I supposed to keep my hands to myself tonight when there is a four-year-old down the hallway? I think we both know that “quiet sex” has never been a thing with us.”

 

“Well, I’m up for the challenge, are you? We do have a bit of an advantage since Ella is one of the heaviest sleepers I know.” She leaned down and kissed him softly, then rested her head back on his chest. 

 

“Just like her mother.”

 

Tessa smiled, “you know she does have dance tomorrow night, right? And I may have made arrangements with Casey today for a cousin sleepover Saturday night.”

 

Scott raised an eyebrow, “oh yeah?”

 

“Mhmm.”

 

They kissed for several minutes gently, enjoying every feeling the kiss brought.

 

Tessa abruptly pulled away from the kiss immediately, and her eyes widened. “Scott, what time is it?” She alarmingly said. 

 

He glanced over at the alarm clock, his mouth dropping open. “It’s 4 o’clock, why?”

 

The thought crossed both of their minds at the same time, Tessa gasping and untangling herself from the bedsheets and Scott’s legs. She ran to her dresser and yanked out a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt, panic setting in. Scott meanwhile collected his boxers from the ground and ran towards the bathroom to finish getting dressed. 

 

“Damn it, she is probably worried we forget about her!” hollered Tessa. She threw on a sports bra and a fresh pair of underwear, before yanking her leggings on overtop. “My poor baby. I’ve never been late picking her up!”

 

Scott emerged from the bathroom fully clothed, as Tessa slipped on her sweatshirt. Neither bothered to freshen up after sex or manage their tangled tresses. It didn’t take long for them to throw on a pair of winter boots and their coats, not bothering to zip it up all the way. There was no playful bickering on who would drive, as Tessa wordlessly got in the passenger’s seat of Scott’s Acura. 

 

It was pushing 4:05 pm and Ella was done with school at 3:30.

 

* * *

 

“I think Mommy forgot about me,” sighed Ella. She sat back down in her chair in the Junior Kindergarten classroom, resting her chin on the back of the stool while eying her teacher. They had stood outside waiting for the past twenty minutes for Tessa, with the teacher finally telling Ella to come inside and she would call her mother. 

 

“Oh honey, I’m sure she didn’t forget about you. Maybe she got held up at work?”  Mrs. Somner reassured Ella. She gave her a small smile and gently rubbed Ella’s back, before walking over to her desk to look up Tessa’s contact information. 

 

Ella scrunched her nose and shook her head. “No, Grandma would come then or maybe Scott since he is staying with us.”

 

The teacher raised her eyebrows and glanced over at Ella, before dialing Tessa’s number into her desk phone. “Well, I’m sure one or both of them are on the way. You can go play with some of the toys if you want?” She pointed towards the play area in the classroom, which caused Ella’s eyes to immediately light up.

 

“Thank you, Mrs. Somner!” sang Ella, dumping her backpack and coat on the ground and racing over to the play area. 

 

She was delighted she got alone time with all of the toys in the classroom and took advantage of the things that needed to be done. The first order of business was to brush the Barbie dolls’ hair and change their clothes into something that matched since the other kids dressed up the dolls in the first clothes they saw. Ella immersed herself in the toys, she forgot about her mother being late and didn’t notice the frown on Mrs. Somner’s face. 

 

The teacher walked over to her a couple minutes later after leaving a voice message to both Tessa and Kate, crouching down to join Ella. “How can I help?” asked Mrs. Somner. 

 

Ella looked over at her teacher and handed her a Barbie doll with an outfit. “Put this on her, please.”

 

Mrs. Somner smiled and followed along with Ella, enjoying this moment with her. Ella was a special kid and was polite, intelligent, and well spoken for only being four years old. She was good at following directions and was never afraid to speak up if she had a question in class or something was bothering her. It made Mrs. Somner wonder how Ella was able to not be deeply affected by her father passing away and wondered how it didn’t leave a noticeable behavior change on her. 

 

As the teacher changed the Barbie doll into her new clothes, she began to wonder if Scott was a factor in how Ella presented herself. Mrs. Somner was observant when Scott dropped Ella off for school, watching them interact as Ella showed him around the classroom. He smiled at her the entire time, and they had a silent exchange before he hugged her and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

 

The curiosity got the best of her, as she cleared her throat and glanced towards Tessa Virtue’s daughter. “So, do you see a lot of Scott?” asked Mrs. Somner.

 

Ella shrugged and placed the Barbie doll on the ground. “Not really. He lives in a different city, I can’t remember the name.”

 

“Montreal?” Mrs. Somner knew that that the famous Scott Moir had started being one of the permanent coaches at Gadbois several years after retirement. 

 

“Yeah, that one. I went there with Mommy to visit him last summer.”

 

“And he is here now?”

 

“Yeah now him and Rufus are staying with us for the summer.”

 

The teacher raised her eyebrows. “Who is Rufus?”

 

“Scott’s dog.”

 

The teacher nodded her head towards Ella, questioning what was going on. It wasn’t unusual for Tessa and Scott to be spending a significant amount of time together, especially since their friendship ran more profound than what most people would expect. Except, it did come across as odd that Scott would be spending the entire summer at Tessa’s unless they were, in fact, seeing each other, then again Ella could be exaggerating. 

 

She placed the Barbie down in front of Ella, who smiled and thanked the teacher before focusing back on the Barbie’s. “So, are your Mommy and Scott good friends still?” asked Mrs. Somner.

 

Ella looked a bit puzzled in her response and stopped brushing the Barbie’s hair. She looked over at her teacher and bit her lip while shrugging her shoulders. “That is what Mommy calls him, but I think they love each other.”

 

“Friends love each other Ella.”

 

“No, like how mommies and daddies love each other,” said Ella, “but I don’t think they want me to know. So I pretend that I don’t.” 

 

Mrs. Somner’s mouth fell slightly open, shocked that a four-year-old would make a claim like that. Then again, there was that saying that little kids are the best observers. 

 

“Don’t tell them I said that Mrs. Somner, please,” said Ella noticing the expression on Mrs. Somner’s face. 

 

The teacher quickly returned her expression to neutral nodding and promising Ella that she wouldn’t say a word. They began playing Barbie’s with one another, Mrs. Somner not bringing up the subject of Scott and Tessa again. She knew that it wasn’t her place to pry, especially since Ella remained content with her home life, but couldn’t help but question if there was something more going on between Tessa and Scott. Were they finally going to settle their past and be together? She felt ridiculous for feeling this way, but nothing bothered her more than watching the way they interacted on and off the ice in all those years ago for it to amount to nothing, at least for a while. 

 

Her thoughts were abruptly interrupted by the loud footsteps running down the carpeted halls. She heard the panting first before she looked up and saw Tessa and Scott standing in the doorway both looking horrified. 

 

“Ella! Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry!” said Tessa rushing over to her daughter. She knelt on the floor immediately encompassing Ella, who remained focused on the Barbie’s. Tessa pressed a kiss on the top of Ella’s head and looked over at Mrs. Somner apologetically. “I’m so sorry for keeping you here late, Mrs. Somner. I simply lost track of time.”

 

“Oh, Ms. Virtue, no need to apologize. It happens to all of us, especially when distractions come up that need attending to,” The teacher said in response, her lips twitching into a subliminal smirk. 

 

It was apparent what had happened to make them lose track of time. Tessa’s hair was falling out of her topknot, her outfit completely mismatched, and Scott’s hair stuck out in multiple angles, and his shirt was on backward. Not to mention the obvious glow of post-sex that seemed to radiate through both of their bodies. 

 

“It’s okay, Mommy, I got to play with the toys some more. I didn’t have to share!” beamed Ella, proudly holding up some of the Barbie dolls. The little girl looked over at Scott who stood in the doorway, sheepishly with his hand over the back of his neck. “Hi, Scott! Did you know that Molly said my hair looked good today? That means you did a good job this morning.”

 

Tessa and Scott couldn’t help but start laughing. 

 

Scott cleared his throat and walked further into the classroom. “Yeah, sorry about this Mrs. Somner. I just needed Tessa’s help on a project for, uh, work.”

 

“No worries, I’m assuming whatever project you were working on was worth it,” winked Mrs. Somner standing up and putting away the Barbie dolls. She watched Tessa and Scott’s face in amusement, as they started blushing deeply. 

 

“Come on, kiddo, let’s help clean up the Barbie dolls so we can all go home,” suggested Scott. 

 

The four of them began tidying up the Barbie doll mess Ella managed to create within twenty minutes, and soon they were all walking out of the door. Scott held onto Ella’s hands as she skipped up and down, excitedly telling him about what she learned in school today, while Tessa and Mrs. Somner strolled next to each other. 

 

Tessa paused when they reached the parking lot, letting Ella and Scott go ahead to Scott’s car. She turned towards Mrs. Somner and swallowed the lump in her throat. “I, uh, hope we can forget about this small matter. I promise it wasn’t our intention to lose track of time.”

 

The teacher smiled and reached out to touch Tessa’s arm. “Don’t worry about it, dear. I’m sure it is nice to spend some quality time with Scott.”

 

“I mean it is great to have him around again as a friend,” said Tessa, her mouth emphasizing the last word of her sentence. She adjusted her purse on her shoulder while continuing to look at the teacher in the eyes. 

 

Mrs. Somner continued smiling. “Yes, having a friend around is beneficial in so many ways. Have a good evening Ms. Virtue, I’ll see you during drop off hopefully on time?” She winked and walked away from Tessa, who was rendered speechless. 

 

* * *

 

Scott pulled in the driveway and put the car in park, looking over at Tessa who was quickly replying to a work email. His attention shifted to the rearview mirror to look at Ella who was singing quietly to herself, with her feet swinging and her head staring out of the window. He let out a small smile and glanced at the front of Casey’s house thinking about the rest of the day he had planned with Tessa.

 

Planning the date had been harder than expected, especially when Scott realized that he and Tessa had done nearly everything together when they were romantically linked or just friends. Scott didn’t want to repeat a past date, especially on the first date that would kick start their next adventure. He also knew that neither would want to do something extravagant, so he settled on something simple that would follow with wine and a home-cooked meal later that evening. 

 

Scott’s thoughts were interrupted when Ella began kicking the back of his seat, trying to get his attention. He turned around and met the young green eyes which were flickering with excitement and impatience for the delay in seeing her cousin, Poppy.

 

“Sorry, munchkin. Mommy and I are being slow, eh?” stated Scott. He looked over at Tessa who locked the screen to her phone and put it in her purse. 

 

“Can we go now, please?” pleaded Ella, “Poppy will set up the dolls without me!” 

 

Tessa laughed and turned around. “Patience Ella, give us one minute before we take you in. Can you remind me what Scott and I told you last night? What we told you to remember while you’re here?”

 

Ella began twisting Sir Bunchkins’ ears and closing her eyes to recall what they told her last night. “Say please and thank you, be nice, and brush my teeth before bed. Also, share my toys with Poppy,” Ella paused and continued fiddling with the ears of the stuffed animal trying to think of the last thing. “I forget something.”

 

Scott and Tessa looked at each other silently exchanging words to each other.

 

“Want me to help you out, kiddo?” asked Scott. 

 

Ella nodded.

 

“To call us if you need anything. Even if you just want to say goodnight to us,” beamed Scott. 

 

The three of them smiled at each other before Scott shut off the car. Scott went to the trunk of his car to grab Ella’s bags, and Tessa went over to open up the door for Ella. As Ella fiddled with her seat belt and collected her small backpack of toys, Scott snuck up behind Tessa and placed his free hand on the small of her back. It was a simple motion, nothing that would raise suspicion from the four-year-old in front of them, but enough to cast tingles through both Tessa and Scott.

 

Tessa turned around and smiled at Scott, a twinkle evident in her eye. “When was the last time you saw Poppy and Casey?”

 

“Funeral, I think, and during that, I didn’t really talk to them. I was focused on you,” murmured Scott. “Do you think I should stay in the car?”

 

She rolled her eyes and squeezed his arm. “No, if anything Casey is the most supportive about whatever this is between us. It is the others you will have to worry about, but I think they will all come to understand.” 

 

Tessa swallowed thinking about what it would be like for Scott to come to the next family event. She knew that her mother and Jordan were hesitant, Kevin seemed neutral about it all, but in the end, she knew they would accept it. What about Mark’s family? What would they think about her moving on about a year after Mark’s death? The uncertainty of the unknown caused her thoughts to race, her anxiety rising in the back of her throat. She shoved the thoughts to the back of the mind pretending she was okay. The only thing she did know for sure was that Scott was the right choice. 

 

They began walking toward the front door and were greeted by Poppy as she swung open the door. She waved her hands frantically and let out a small squeal, encompassing Tessa into a hug while Scott and Ella stood in the background with Ella reaching for Scott’s hand. 

 

“Auntie T! I have to show you something that Dad got me the other day, and I have been dying to show it to you!” said Poppy, pulling away from the hug and bouncing up and down.

 

“Oh yeah? What did you get, P?” smiled Tessa.

 

Ella squeezed Scott’s hand and looked up at him, after observing her mother and cousin idly chatting. “Scott?” the little four-year-old whispered. 

 

He glanced down at her. “Yeah, Ells?”

 

“I’m scared to spend the night here. I have never been here alone overnight.”

 

Scott squeezed Ella’s hand in return. “You’ll have so much fun, you won’t even be thinking about us. Then before you know it, it will be time to go home and not wanting to leave,” He reassured.

 

Ella smiled softly at Scott. “Can I call you if I’m scared?”

 

“Of course. You know that Mommy and I are only a phone call away.”

 

Before Ella could respond, Poppy was flinging herself at Ella. “Ella! I laid out all of the Barbie’s in the playroom. Remember that dollhouse I told you about? Well, I got some new furniture for it, and we can arrange it.” 

 

The fear vanquished in Ella’s eyes, and she smiled at Poppy. 

 

They made their way into Virtue’s house with Ella moving her attention to clutch onto Tessa. Scott placed Ella’s bags on the ground, glancing around the house that he hadn’t been in for years. They had redone the place quite a bit, but the layout remained the same. He smiled at Casey and Megan’s wedding pictures on the wall, as well as the newborn photos of Poppy. He remembered both days well. 

 

Poppy stopped babbling and turned her attention towards Scott, finally noticing him staring at the pictures in the entrance way. “Uncle Scott!” She said energetically, wrapping her arms around his waist. 

 

His arms wrapped around Poppy’s body, smiling at her. “Hey, Pops. Been awhile, eh?”

 

Scott looked up to see Tessa smiling at her, while Ella looked at them confused. 

 

“Uncle Scott? But you aren’t her Uncle,” said Ella.

 

“Yeah he is!” challenged Poppy stepping away from her hug with Scott, “I have a photo of him holding me when I was a baby.”

 

Scott flushed, while Tessa awkwardly smiled realizing it was something they hadn’t discussed with Ella. Ella knew that Tessa and Scott were friends in the past, skating partners for a little over two decades, but she didn’t understand how close Tessa and Scott ever were. It was always too complicated to explain, especially to a four-year-old who hadn’t met Scott until a year ago. 

 

“I don’t believe you,” said Ella.

 

“I’ll prove it!” demanded Poppy, being ever so righteous. She ran away from them, thumping loudly on the ground, “Dad? Where is my baby book! Ella doesn’t believe that Scott is my Uncle!”

 

Tessa sighed and rubbed her hand down her face, avoiding eye-contact with Scott. She knew that this wasn’t his fault, it was only inevitable that Poppy would refer to Scott as “Uncle Scott,” but she hoped Ella wouldn’t pick up on it. She underestimated the inquisitive and observant mind of Ella. 

 

She turned towards Ella and crouched down. “Come on, let’s get off your shoes. We don’t want to get any mud in Poppy’s house, yeah?” 

 

Ella nodded and used Tessa’s shoulder to balance herself, as she lifted up her legs and let Tessa untie Ella’s boots. The weather had finally warmed up in southern Ontario, melting away the last of the winter snow to only leave mud everywhere (the experience of tracking mud indoors was fresh due to Rufus deciding to play in it).  

 

Poppy raced back moments later, holding a scrapbook with Casey trailing behind. 

 

“Hey, guys! Sorry that I wasn’t here when you arrived, Kevin called on the phone and was complaining about the final trades the Blue Jays did before their season starts. Something about how the managers are idiots.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head, before ruffling Poppy’s hair, while she scrambled through the pages in the scrapbook. 

 

“I’ll prove you wrong, Ella, just wait,” Poppy announced.

 

Casey raised his brow. “What is this all about? What do you need to show your cousin so much?”

 

“Scott holding me when I was a baby. Ella doesn’t think that Scott is my Uncle.” Poppy flipped to the correct page, a smile lighting up on her face. She pointed to the photo and held out the scrapbook for Tessa, Scott, and Ella to see. “That’s me, and there is Uncle Scott!”

 

The picture was taken in July 2014, several months after the Sochi Olympics concluded. It was a challenging transition time for skating (when they assumed they were done), as well as trying to find what excited them in life while holding back unresolved feelings for each other. Tessa remembered sitting in the hospital with her family, gushing over newborn Poppy, only to have Scott show up to see Poppy as well, with Casey and Megan stating Scott was family too. 

 

“That’s you?” said Ella pointing at the picture.

 

“Yeah, that’s me when I was ten years younger,” laughed Scott, “and look, there are your Mommy and me with Poppy.” He pointed towards the other photograph where Tessa was holding Poppy and Scott was looking at her laughing about something ridiculous. Underneath the photograph was a small cursive writing stating, “Uncle Scott and Aunt Tessa.” 

 

Ella bit her lip and looked between the photos and then at Tessa and Scott. A small “o” formed on her lips, leaving her bewildered. “Why?”

 

“What do you mean, Ella?” asked Tessa.

 

She fidgeted with her hands, before pointing at the picture. “Why was Scott there for Poppy and not me? Is he Uncle Scott to me?”

 

Casey, Tessa, and Scott froze in place. Casey scratched his head nervously, while Tessa and Scott’s jaws remained clenched at Ella’s statement. They were foolish to think that nothing would come up from Ella’s mind, especially with the close connection of Scott to the Virtues and Tessa to the Moirs. 

 

Casey cleared his throat and walked over to grab the photo album out of Poppy’s hands. “Pops, how about you show Ella how you set up the Barbie’s and the sleepover area? We thought it would be fun if you slept on sleeping bags in the toy room tonight.”

 

Ella’s eyes lit up, and she quickly forgot her question, before smiling at Casey and Poppy. “Yeah! That sounds like fun. Mommy, can you come with me?” She extended her hand to Tessa, who finally stood up from her crouched position.

 

Tessa grabbed Ella’s hand and left the entryway listening to Poppy and Ella’s babbles.

 

Scott and Casey watched the girls disappear upstairs in silence. Scott shifted his weight back and forth, while Casey clenched and unclenched his fists trying to determine what to say to Scott. 

 

Years ago, Scott and Casey had a close relationship. They would talk about what was happening in various sporting teams, as well as occasionally meet up to have a beer with some other friends. Things changed once Tessa and Scott changed which caused a string of changes to occur between Scott and the Virtues. Scott hated not seeing Poppy or discussing sports with Casey, and he even hated more that he lost his second family.

 

“Can I ask you a question?” asked Casey. “I have to get all older and protective brother for a second.”

 

Scott swallowed and slowly nodded.

 

“Tess claims that you are it for her, that nothing will hold you two back from actually being together,” said Casey, recalling the conversation from a few weeks ago. “Do you feel the same way?”

 

“Never been surer,” stated Scott.

 

“You promise? Because I have seen you two over the years and I’m tired of the timing never being right or Tessa being hurt because you run off with some random girl. She doesn’t deserve that, especially when there is a kid involved.”

 

“I love both of them,” said Scott, “I won’t ever do that to her, Casey. This time I know for sure this is it because I have spent years trying to fall out of love with her, but I can’t.”

 

Casey stared at Scott for a long time seeing the seriousness in his expression and tone. He nodded his head and broke eye contact with Scott, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Okay, I believe you, but know that if you do anything to hurt her I will drag you out into the woods and you may not return.”

 

Scott’s eyes widened, while Casey grinned.

 

“Calm down, Scotty, I’m just playing with you. For the record, I’m happy for you guys. I know others may give you a hard time, but I trust you two when you say it is forever. You have my full support.”

 

“Thanks, Casey, I appreciate it,” said Scott sincerely.

 

“No problem. Make sure to use protection though, right? You two don’t need any accidents, everything is complicated enough right now.”

 

Scott choked on his own saliva. “I mean, well, uh . . . Yeah, we use some form of protection. I don’t know about kids right now, but probably. I--” He paused to see Tessa walking back to the entryway, a smile on her face. He returned the smile to Tessa and used it as an opportunity to drop the conversation with Casey. “You ready to go, T?” 

 

“Yeah, Ella is distracted playing with Poppy.” She walked over and started putting her shoes back on. “What were you two discussing?”

 

“Nothing,” The boys said in unison.

 

Tessa rolled her eyes. “Casey, you and Megan will call me if there are any issues, right?” She grabbed her purse off of the ground and began babbling about things to remember causing Casey to walk over to the front door and open it up.

 

“T, they know. They had a little four-year-old at some point,” stated Scott.

 

Casey nodded and pointed outside. “Yeah, don’t worry we will call if there is anything major.”

 

She hesitated, “But--” 

 

“Kiddo, come on. She is fine, they aren’t strangers,” sympathetically said Scott, “this isn’t the first time you have left her with a sitter.”

 

Casey was less empathetic and rolled his eyes. “Tessa, enough. You two get out of here and go have fun on your date. She’s a good kid, you’ll be fine, and, yes, I won’t tell her about you two at all.”

 

* * *

 

When they had first gotten in the car and left London heading north on the freeway, Tessa wondered if Scott was taking her to Waterloo. The Waterloo-Kitchener region held many memories for them as kids, especially the car rides with the Marvin the Martian pillows, making Tessa think they would do something that would bring back a memory. Except her eyes had widened when he sped past Waterloo and headed further North to the West Montrose region.

 

They pulled off the main stretch onto a side road, that was covered in dirt which caused Tessa to curiously raise her eyebrows at Scott. He reached over the console and grabbed Tessa’s hand giving her a reassuring squeeze. Scott placed the car in park and unfastened his seatbelt, ushering at Tessa to follow him.

 

Scott ran to the side of the passenger car door, managing to open up the door before Tessa did. He reached out for her hand and helped her out of the car, smiling at the flushed skin on her cheeks.

 

“Please don’t tell me you’re taking me out in the woods to kill me,” giggled Tessa. 

 

She stood next to the car and glanced at Scott, who shut and locked the door. 

 

A crooked smile spread across his lips, as he grabbed ahold of Tessa’s hand and began leading her down the last stretch of the road. “Now that would be too easy, eh?” joked Scott, planting a kiss on her temple. “Okay in all seriousness, I tried to do something a bit different than our dates in the past.”

 

“Oh really?”

 

“Yeah, and trust me, it was nearly impossible. Did you know that we have practically done everything together?” He laughed, thinking about the multiple google searches he did for things to do in Southern Ontario.  “So, I managed to find something that is small and unique, yet has history and meaning behind it.”

 

Tessa raised her brow.

 

He smiled, as they let their hands swing back and forth like a teenage couple in love. “First let me start off with did you know they used to construct covered bridges over rivers back in the 1800s?” 

 

“I did know that. Covering bridges was a way to slow down the deterioration of wood when it is exposed to rain and snow. Although,  I have never seen one before. I thought they were all taken down.”

 

“Well, did you know that the oldest bridge in Canada and the last covered bridge in Ontario is referred to as the Kissing Bridge?”

 

“No, I did not know that,” laughed Tessa, a bold smile on her face, “why is it called the Kissing Bridge? Did naughty things happen in the covered area?” 

 

She raised her eyebrows suggestively then let out the intoxicating giggle that caused Scott to immediately join in on the laughter. 

 

“The story has it that a kiss was required as a toll to cross it back in the 1880s and early 1900s. A little bit of a questionable price, but I guess that is how the men controlling traffic on the bridge didn’t die of boredom,” shrugged Scott. 

 

They could smell the Grand River in the distance as they continued down the trail. When they got closer, they began to see the black shingled roof and distinct reddish walls that only caused Tessa to halt in her place and look at Scott. She covered her mouth with her free hand, staring at Scott’s goofy grin on his face.

 

“Scott--” 

 

“Welcome to the Kissing Bridge, T! An Instagram worthy moment fixed with the perfect amount of romance, thanks to continued restoration.” Scott released Tessa’s hand and held out his arms wide open and spun around ridiculously.

 

Tessa started laughing out loud, as he spun down the path. She chased after him down the trail, and they began walking faster towards the bridge. They both felt young and alive again as if nothing terrible ever occurred between them or in their lives. Scott raced Tessa to the bridge and jumped in the center of the opening, holding out his hand in a “stop” motion. 

 

“Sorry, T-dog, you can’t cross until I get my toll.”

 

She continued letting the giggles escape her lips, as she got closer. “You are still a dork after all of these years,” She whispered, placing her hands on either side of his cheeks. Tessa pressed her lips softly against Scott’s. “Does that settle my toll?” 

 

Scott didn’t reply but kissed her again. Out of pure luck, there was no one else around them, which let them fully appreciate every aspect of the moment. The cold April wind brushed against their backsides, drawing them closer together, while the sound of the slow river encapsulated them in their surroundings. It wasn’t until minutes later that Tessa pulled back and dug in her coat pocket for her phone, smiling. She didn’t have to ask for the pictures, and instead took several of them to dictate the official start of them.

 

They now sat on one of the benches that overlooked the Grand River taking in the beautiful site in front of them. Tessa’s head rested on Scott’s shoulder, their hands intertwined together.  It felt like a little slice of heaven to be in a secluded country road, on a historic site. Other tourists had come by to take pictures by the famous bridge, with many kids laughter and shrieks echoing from the covered bridge. 

 

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” asked Tessa, glancing up to see Scott in a deep train of thought. She lifted her head from his shoulder gazing at his hazel eyes. 

 

The truth was Scott had been thinking about their future a lot. He knew that Tessa was it for him and he would be with her no matter what, but he wasn’t sure in what capacity. He took a leap of faith at the moment and met Tessa’s green eyes. “Have you reconsidered getting married again?” He asked.

 

Tessa immediately bit her lip and broke eye contact. 

 

“I don’t mean right now or in the next few months, but like in the future,” He added. 

 

“Yeah, I want to, but I’m not sure how soon I will be ready,” admitted Tessa. Her eyes met Scott’s once more. “How about you? Do you think you could get married again after Kaylie?”

 

“Yes, but only if it is with the right person,” He simply stated, “after the whole separation and divorce with Kaylie, it really made me think about what I wanted in a relationship and marriage that I didn’t have with her . . . apart from kids.”

 

“Life is indeed short. You never realize that until you lose someone you love,” whispered Tessa. She scooted away from him slightly to face him directly. “After Mark, I never thought I could see myself getting married again. I thought that it would just be Ella and me for the rest of our lives, but things changed.”

 

Scott nodded his head slowly. “What things changed?”

 

She smiled softly and tucked her hair behind her ears, looking down at her nails. “Let’s just say someone came into my life again and made me realize that my life can continue to flourish, that I can continue to be happy.” 

 

They smiled at each other again, with Scott wrapping his arm around Tessa and pulling her close to his side. She buried her head into his chest, and he pressed his lips to the top of her head. 

 

“I want another baby one day,” continued Tessa, “I want to give Ella a brother or sister. Growing up with siblings was the best thing in the world for me, and I want Ella to experience that. But for now, I’m focusing on us and giving Ella the best years of her life, but I hope that one day I can be married and have another baby.”  She stared at Scott for the longest time seeing the hope fill his eyes, sending him the silent message that she wanted all of that with him. 

 

“I hope you get that one day.”

 

“I will, I know I will.”

 

Scott kissed her head again, then pulled back to look at Tessa in the eyes. “So, I have one more question for you, and I’m sorry if I’m a romantic sap as a result of this.”

 

She shook her head. “You know I love it when you’re a romantic sap,” She teased, lightly poking his chest. 

 

“Well, I know that we have always failed at defining us repeatedly. I don’t know how many years we had to come up with ridiculous terms about being platonic or business partners or even bandmates--which we were stupid to even think we could get away with that. This time I don’t want uncertain boundaries of what we are. So, with that being said...Tess, will you be my girlfriend?”

 

“Yes,” She said breathless, with little to no hesitation.

 

He kissed her again passionately, cradling the back of her neck. Neither cared that there were other couples and families here to take in the historic site, but they only thought about now. His tongue grazed the edge of her lip causing Tessa’s lips to open slightly. Their tongues lightly touched each other, before Tessa pulled back and blushed at him. 

 

Finally, it felt like they were moving forward, and this time there was no going back.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to keep this note short, but considering I can't keep a chapter short no guarantees.
> 
> First of all, thank you everyone for your patience! I'm sorry that my chapter updates aren't so frequent, but life has taken a higher importance than writing. Know that I am determined and I will finish it, however long it takes. 
> 
> Second, I have a full disclaimer. I have never written smut before. This was a challenge I wanted to do for myself, and I knew it was something you guys wanted to see. I know it wasn't super explicit, like other amazing smut works out there, but I hope it was enough to leave you guys satisfied. I do hope that I will feel more confident in writing smut in the future and can get more comfortable with writing explicitly. Props to all you smut writers out there! 
> 
> Third, I know a lot happened this chapter, and it was my full intention for this chapter to be shorter. Then writing happened and the scenes encapsulated me which only caused me to keep writing and expanding. I think this is my subconscious not wanting to start the process of letting go of this story because the ending is going to come faster than you would expect. (Yes, it is still 30 chapters but I have finalized the outline for the last chapters). 
> 
> Thanks for the support, kudos, and comments! I would love to hear from you. :)


	19. Winds of Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa and Scott continue transitioning into their relationship, when Ella meets the entire Moir family. An unexpected visitor arrives.

“Uncle Scott used to be around all the time when I was little,” said Poppy unrolling her sleeping bag, while Ella munched on some popcorn.

 

The two cousins had spent the entire day playing with Barbies, only to be interrupted by Megan calling the girls to add toppings to their own miniature pizzas. They laughed and babbled the whole day with the thought of missing Tessa and Scott far from Ella’s mind. It wasn’t until they were watching Mary Poppins did the thought of Scott and Tessa cross Ella’s mind again, confusing her once more. 

 

They were setting up the toy room for their sleepover, after changing into their pajamas and grabbing some snacks, when Ella innocently brought up Scott again to Poppy. Instead of answering her question directly, Poppy decided to spill all the stories she could remember about her Uncle Scott and Aunt Tessa when she was younger--though the exact details could be stretched.

 

“Why did he leave?”

 

Poppy shrugged. “I can’t answer that because my parents won’t tell me. They said Scott got married and moved away.”

 

“Married?” asked Ella, tilting her head to the side.

 

Once satisfied with her cupcake sleeping bag, Poppy sat down on the floor next to Ella. She reached over and grabbed a handful of popcorn and put a few pieces in her mouth, thinking about what she knew or thought she knew.

 

“Yeah he was married, but now he is not. Her name was Kaylie, and I don’t think Mommy and Daddy liked her. I never met her.” Poppy glanced over at Ella’s green eyes who looked confused about the entire situation, then popped a few more pieces of her snack into her mouth.

 

“Why is he not married now?”

 

“Adult things, I guess.”

 

Ella nodded her head and adjusted Sir Bunchkins from underneath her arm then watched Poppy eating the popcorn. She had so many more questions about things but didn’t know if she would understand or if Poppy even knew. “I don’t think he knew about me until Daddy’s funeral. I don’t think he would have not visited me.”

 

Poppy silently agreed. She brushed her hair out of her face and swallowed looking at her cousin. “Don’t tell anyone this, I’m not supposed to even know. Promise?” asked Poppy. 

 

“Promise.”

 

“I think him and Auntie T got into a big fight when I was little. I don’t remember much, but I remember him and Auntie T avoiding each other at my birthday party. That was the last time I remember seeing him.”

 

Ella’s eyes widened, her mouth forming an “o” shape. 

 

“I asked Mommy and Daddy awhile ago, but they kept changing the subject. Kind of like earlier when you asked why Scott isn’t your Uncle Scott,” continued Poppy, she carefully looked at Ella then looked away to arrange her pillow at the open end of her sleeping bag. “Do you think Auntie T and Uncle Scott are together?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Like together together.”

 

Ella bit her lip. “I don’t understand, I’m only four.”

 

Poppy hesitated momentarily, before scooting closer to Ella. “Like kissing and stuff. You know, like grown-up things.”

 

Ella wrinkled her nose and leaned away from Poppy’s expression. “Ew, that’s yucky. I don’t think they kiss. Why would you say that?”

 

Her cousin rolled her eyes and slipped her feet underneath the sleeping bag. She rested her head on the pillow and started playing with her fingers, while Ella resumed eating the popcorn. Poppy calmly looked back over at Ella opening her mouth to start the sentence, then closing it once again. 

 

Softly, but loud enough for Ella to hear, Poppy said, “well they used to kiss.”

 

“I don’t believe you. You're silly, Poppy,” said Ella. She placed the now empty bowl next to her and stood up to grab her water off the play table. 

 

Poppy rolled over on her stomach and placed her head between her propped up elbows. “Why would I lie? They did kiss when I was little. I went with Auntie Jordan to tell Auntie T, and Uncle Scott dinner was ready and--” Poppy paused trying to recall the distant memory, but was met with Ella huffing as she sunk to the ground.

 

“And what?”

 

“I went down to the beach at the cottage to tell them dinner was ready. We found them on the part of the beach no one can see from the cottage, and they were kissing.”

 

“Like in the movies?”

 

“Yes, Ella exactly that. Like in the movies!” exclaimed Poppy, “and when we stopped them, they were embarrassed. Uncle Scott said they were acting like teenagers as a joke. But I don’t think it was a joke.”

 

“You kiss people you love,” nodded Ella climbing into her own sleeping bag and laying down to face her cousin. “I remember Mommy used to kiss Daddy when he went to work.”

 

Poppy smiled, “Do you think Auntie T and Uncle Scott love each other?”

 

“Yes, but I don’t think I’m supposed to know,” giggled Ella. 

 

A slightly devilish grin spread on Poppy’s face, as she stared into Ella’s eyes. “Then they definitely kiss, and probably a lot.”

 

The two girls paused and thought about it, letting their noses wrinkle at the thought of two people kissing. They both shuddered simultaneously at the thought of kissing people one day, which only caused both of them to laugh loudly while saying “ew.” They playing nudged each other, while Ella blaming Poppy for saying ridiculous things. 

 

The loudness only caused Casey to arrive a minute later peering around the door frame at the two cousins. A glimmer of amusement sparked in his eyes, as he watched them playfully tease each other. He knew that the two would get along with no problems the entire night. Poppy had become the bossy ten-year-old, while Ella was quick to follow along and look up to Poppy. They were the best of friends; two only-child cousins who viewed each other as sisters.

 

Upon entering the room, the girls quickly stopped giggling and widened their eyes at Casey.

 

“Sorry Daddy, we don’t mean to be loud,” quickly said Poppy.

 

He chuckled. “Don’t worry about it. Mommy and I were watching a movie. What was so funny?” Casey sat down on the end of Poppy’s sleeping bag and gazed at the two young girls.

 

Ella flushed red and started playing with her rabbit’s ears, while a small laugh escaped Poppy’s lips.

 

Casey raised an eyebrow and gave Poppy a look.

 

“We were talking about how gross it is to kiss people on the lips. Like how you and Mommy do it and probably Auntie T and Uncle Scott.” Poppy immediately covered her mouth after saying that, while Ella shrieked at Poppy for stating it.

 

A pang hit Casey’s stomach, as he took into account the topic the girls were discussing. He knew that Tessa and Scott were adamant about keeping their relationship very low key as they began slowly navigating things. To say that they carried a large amount of baggage was an understatement; Casey could only imagine everything that needed to fall entirely in place before things would become more significant, now with a little girl and widowed family added into the mix. In the past, he would have said they would never sort through the past burdens, but this time, he knew that they would sort it out. However long it took.

 

So, he did what any good brother would do and wrote off Poppy and Ella’s accusation of what Tessa and Scott were doing. “Auntie T and Uncle Scott? I don’t think they are doing that right now. You girls are silly,” laughed Casey. “How about we brush your teeth and get you into bed?”

 

* * *

 

Scott and Tessa were both panting, beads of sweat forming on their hairline. Their bare chests were pressed up against each other, both of their hearts racing in their chests. Tessa laid underneath him, smiling up at him, while her fingers delicately ran through Scott’s tousled hair. He returned the smile and leaned down to press his lips against her own tasting the light salted taste of Tessa’s sweat. 

 

He pulled out from inside of her and rolled over to lay on the rug next to her. They both laid there is silence, staring up at the ceiling and continuing to ride the post-coital bliss. The sound of Audrey Hepburn’s voice in Roman Holiday filling the quietness in the living room. 

 

They couldn’t even make it through a movie before they caved into their arousal, which started before Tessa played the movie. Scott claimed it was the way Tessa’s hips swayed and the roundedness of her ass when she bent over to put the movie in, while Tessa would argue it was the way Scott ran his hands through her hair while they cuddled. Although, it wasn’t until Tessa’s hand moved down from his chest onto the top of his pants to feel the hardened bulge that he knew there was no waiting. So, they fucked right in the middle of the living room, hastily pushing the coffee table away.

 

The blissful state of their post-sex minds was interrupted when they heard the clink of Rufus’s collar as he approached, after waking from his nap in the reading nook. The dog froze in his place when he saw Tessa and Scott, naked and laying on the floor, but continued to wag his tail. He walked over to lay next to Scott, shoving his snout under Scott’s hand so he could be scratched.

 

Tessa laughed upon seeing Rufus and turned her head to look over at Scott. 

 

“At least he had the courtesy to give us some privacy,” said Scott, joining Tessa in laughing. 

 

He scratched Rufus’s head and met Tessa’s eyes. Her smile reached her eyes, as her laughter subsided upon making eye contact with him. There were many versions of Tessa that Scott loved, and this was one of his favorites. It was a look of pure happiness, of letting herself be vulnerable and free. It was the unwritten message that Scott knew so well.

 

“I haven’t felt this good in a long time,” admitted Tessa.

 

“Oh yeah?”

 

“Yeah,” She whispered breathlessly, “I never thought that this would be my future, even shortly after Mark passed.”

 

“Why is that?” said Scott shifting himself closer to her. 

 

She sighed and shrugged her shoulders slightly. “I thought you were happy with Kaylie, I guess, and seeing you after all those years I figured there would not be that spark between us. That you were here just to help me pick up the pieces in my life, not to become my life again.”

 

Scott remained silent.

 

Tessa looked at him and continued, “Some women lose their husband so young and live the rest of their life single or take years to move on because no one would understand them or accept the waves of grief they will experience or if they have kids. I don’t know, I guess moving on is complicated.”

 

“And it’s not complicated for us?”

 

She laughed. “Well, we have always been the definition of complicated. Somehow this is easier than it used to be.”

 

He chuckled. “I think it is because we are older and we know what we want in life after both being married.”

 

“You think the timing is finally in our favor now?” asked Tessa.

 

“I think the odds are in our favor, in however way we want it to be.”

 

“And what do you want?”

 

He looked at her with emotion clouding his eyes upon hearing her question. Scott extended his hand towards her wanting to tell her the entire future he saw with her. Rings on their fingers, another baby on the way, watching Ella grow up and have all of her firsts, and doing what they always wanted to do . . . Grow old and watch Jeopardy together. He wanted all of the same things he wanted years ago, but now it became more apparent to him. Except Scott didn’t want to tell her everything, didn’t want to jinx or scare her but knew that they were creating their perfect little life together. 

 

He cupped her face and used his other hand to push the hair behind her ear, staring into her sparkly green eyes. “This is what I want, Tess. A family with you.”

 

Tears welled up in Tessa’s eyes upon hearing the words from his mouth. Words with enough power that it rendered her speechless. She leaned in and pressed her lips against his. “I’m lucky,” whispered Tessa against Scott’s lips, “so lucky to have you.”

 

“We are both lucky, T. It is only going up from here.”

 

She wrapped her hands around his arm and nuzzled her head into the crook of his shoulder, listening to Gregory Peck’s voice echo through the family room. 

 

Tessa remembered when she first watched this movie with Scott back in Canton. It was during the middle of a snowstorm, that rendered them unable to leave their condominiums. Scott had braved the walk down the street to Tessa’s, only to show up to see her putting in Roman Holiday and getting cozy on the couch for a night in. She invited him in, warned him that she is watching an old movie he wouldn’t watch, only to have him prove her wrong to sit down and watched it. He would never admit it to her till years later, but it became a movie that he would watch whenever he saw it on TV.

 

Tessa lifted her head from his chest and looked down at him. “So what do you say about starting this movie over and actually watching it?” 

 

Scott agreed and sat up to grab several throw pillows and a blanket off of Tessa’s couch, and they arranged themselves on the floor in front of the TV, neither with the desire to move up to the couch. Her head laid on his chest, while his arm wrapped around her shoulders combed through her hair. They laughed at the parts they always found amusing and yelled at Joe when he called the photographer friend. It brought them back to 2017 when this was normal. It felt great to be back.

 

As the ending credits came up on the television, Tessa rolled off Scott slightly and looked down at him. His eyes had fluttered shut near the end of the movie, a combination of wine and exhaustion from the events earlier. She smiled and placed a soft kiss on his lips, then watched his eyes open just enough to stare at her. 

 

“Hmm?” He murmured sleepily.

 

“Guess you’re turning into an old man,” teased Tessa, she poked his nose playfully. “Can’t even stay up to watch a movie and it’s barely after ten.”

 

“Oh, you really think that?”

 

Tessa giggled. “Yes really.”

 

“I don’t think I acted like an old man a couple hours ago,” Scott replied, wiggling his eyebrows at her. “Or do I need to prove myself once more?”

 

She flushed in response to his remark, her mind going back to the moment a couple of hours ago. Her body still could recall the feeling of the tip of his tongue delicately tracing circles around her clit, the way his fingers moved in and out of her core, or several times where his lips latched around her clit. Her moans had not suppressed since the second his lips planted kiss from her inner thigh up to her core, unable to ever get a handle on her breathing or noises. He smirked after she came, and she could taste herself on his lips, thinking that there was no greater feeling.  That was until he slid inside of her and fucked her hard and fast. 

 

Something deep inside of her stirred again, as her mind continued to reflect. She licked her lips and swallowed, nodding her head, while continuing to meet his eyes. “I think I need to shower,” Tessa said.

 

“I think I do too,” He responded.

 

Nothing more needed to be said, before he picked Tessa up, bridal style. Scott carried her past their discarded clothes, not even considering picking them up. He adjusted the way he held her once he reached the bottom of the stairs, carefully going up them, while Tessa planted light kisses all over his neck. 

 

The hot water poured out of the rain-head shower soaking their bodies, as soon as they stepped into the shower. Scott was quick to press Tessa’s back up against the tiled wall, one of his hands reaching between her legs to stroke her. A light touch was enough for a low moan to escape Tessa, who pulled away from his lips to stare at him through the falling water. 

 

Tessa stared at him, feeling her heart race in her chest, and her core grows wetter at how he looked right now. Except she couldn’t put the finger on what it was in this moment that made her want him in every way possible. Perhaps it was the way the water dripped from the strands of hair that hung in his face. Maybe it was the way water droplets would cling to his thick eyelashes, only to fall as his blinked. It could be the way one hand rested on the wall next to her head or the look of pure happiness he gave her when their eyes met. Whatever it was, the moment captivated her and left her breathless. She stared into the eyes that remained the same since the day she met him. The eyes that were filled with light, trust, devotion, and happiness. 

 

It was then that Tessa knew, without a doubt, Scott was always her soulmate. 

 

“Scott,” Tessa whispered, feeling his hand move away from between her legs and rest on her shoulder. “Remember what you told me in February? That I was it for you?”

 

“You still are, Tess. Never doubt that.”

 

Her hands found the place on his chest, feeling more vulnerable. “I don’t want to rush things, I don’t want to screw up anything this time, but you need to know something,” Tessa paused to smile and gaze into his eyes, “you’re it for me too.”

 

Scott kissed her again pressing their bodies close to one another. His arms were wrapped around her waist, the tips of her fingers digging into his smooth back. 

 

To an outsider, this would come across as a rushed and hasty decision, but no one knew the extent of history they shared together. No one knew that Tessa and Scott had been through it all; they had moments of happiness, sadness, heartbreak, and frustration together and apart. Although they experienced love outside of each other, no one understood them the way they understood each other. No one would challenge them the way they challenged each other. They were tied to each other, and it was only inevitable that they would find their way back to each other. 

 

So they stood underneath the hot shower acting on their instinct and internal desire to have all of each other again. He slid himself into her, both of them taking the time to stare once he was all the way in. Beads of water dripped down their skin, as they remained enthralled by each other. Tessa went to speak but soon became speechless as he started moving inside of her.

 

The way he fucked her was different than it was a few hours ago. The animalistic nature had subsided into a slower, but passionate rhythm as the hot water cascaded down their bodies. His cock slid in and out of her velvet core, each drive being slightly harder than the previous one causing Tessa’s breath to continuously hitch. Her legs were wrapped around Scott’s waist, and her head arched back against the shower wall letting the motion take her into the addictive state of ecstasy. 

 

Tessa’s walls squeezed around his cock when they both came, letting out soft moans. She felt the warmth of his come coat her, as he thrust back and forth slowly to ride out the rest of his climax. He remained inside of her, as they both came down from their highs, with Tessa’s head falling forward to bury her face into his shoulder. They continued in that position in silence, breathing rapidly against one another.

 

Finally, Scott was able to catch his breath and press a kiss against her temple. “So, do you still think I’m old?”

 

Tessa giggled and rubbed her nose against his. “You’re the opposite of old. Now, about that shower?”

 

He chuckled gently lowering her to the shower floor. “I think that would be a great idea, as long as I get to wash you.”

 

“Deal.”

 

* * *

 

The Tragically Hip blared from the old stereo station in the back of the skate shop. Scott stood in the back next to the blade sharpener, humming along to New Orleans is Sinking. His old Toronto Maple Leafs hat hung backward on his head, as he bent down to sharpen the next set of hockey blades for one of the local London teams. The youth hockey season was coming to an end as it approached mid-April, and Scott found himself the happiest he had been in a long time.

 

The morning routine was established in the Virtue household, with Scott waking Ella up for a morning walk with Rufus. Scott would deliver a fresh cup of coffee to Tessa, while she helped Ella get dressed, and would later have a fresh batch of scrambled eggs and toast for Ella. It felt normal, so tooth-rotting domestic that it made Scott think that this was the life he was always meant to have. As for his kind of secret relationship with Tessa? It only continued to grow and flourish. 

 

“Scott? You back there?” hollered Uncle Paul as Scott finished up one of the skates. 

 

Scott looked towards the doorway and grinned at Uncle Paul. 

 

“Yeah, just finishing up the last pairs of skates before I head out. Are you going to close tonight or is Cara coming?” He put the skate guards on the set of skates, turned down the music and moved them to the stack of finished skates.

 

Paul walked further in the room, his hands dug in his jean pockets. “I’ll be here. I think Cara is coming by to help a bit with the accounting. I was going to ask if you will be around for the annual Moir family Easter egg hunt this weekend? Your Aunt Carol decided this year to put five dollar bills in several of the eggs for the kids as the special prize.”

 

“Oh, I haven’t thought about it really,” admitted Scott realizing that his primary focus had been on Tessa and Ella. “Been busy with stuff.”

 

His uncle chuckled, “So you and Tess again?”

 

Scott felt the back of his neck flush. “Is it that obvious?”

 

“No, but you seem happy. There is some sort of sparkle in your eye when you do mention them. Is this time forever?”

 

“Yeah, Uncle Paul it is.”

 

Paul smiled and adjusted his glasses, before patting Scott on the back. He strolled over towards the sharpened skates and then looked back at his nephew. “Do you want to bring them this weekend? I’m sure Ella would love to meet all of the kids, and Tess is still family to us. The Virtues never do much for Easter, right?”

 

Scott shook his head. “No, that was always the holiday Tessa did with Mark’s family. They aren’t necessarily on speaking terms with everything since, you know, Mark.” He scuffed his shoe against the ground and frowned, still upset for Tessa that Liz hadn’t managed to get Mark’s parents to contact Tessa.

 

“Guess it shows that every parent deals with the grief of their child’s death differently,” said Paul with a frown, “well, that little girl deserves a fun day. Bring them along. You think they would want that?”

 

“Ella would never deny chocolate,” grinned Scott, “or money to buy chocolate.”

 

Paul smiled, “Good. The usual time and place.”

 

Silence filled the room in the back of the skate shop as Scott began sharpening the next set of hockey blades. Uncle Paul looked over the previous sharpened blades and smiled at the work his nephew did. He remembered Scott’s desire to learn how to sharpen the blades, shortly after the shop opened. He wanted to contribute to the store and not just be a person receiving dividends or occasionally restocking the skate supply. Scott wanted to learn, to help out the few times he could. Now, it was the opportune time to give back.

 

“Do they past the test?” joked Scott, leaning against the counter and watching his uncle examine the skates. “I know I don’t have the touch like you or the other guys but--”

 

“They look perfect. Maybe one day you can be completely in charge of running this place,” said Paul beginning to stroll to the back office to run through the expense and finance reports.

 

“Uncle Paul--”

 

He waved his nephew off. “Ah, ignore me, I’m just saying things. Guess that is something about being old,” chuckled Paul disappearing around the corner. “I’m going to be posting a job listing this week anyway.”

 

Scott remained in his spot staring at the corner Uncle Paul disappeared behind. He knew that Uncle Paul was beginning to go through a transition phase of his own as he would take a full step back from helping out at the shop and had been trying to for the past couple of years. No one in the family was interested in taking over his role. People had their own lives, their own careers, and others were planning on retiring themselves. 

 

Carol had pestered Paul repeatedly about putting a job listing out for a manager, insisting that his knees would keep getting worse if he didn’t slow down. Paul was reluctant to do so, claiming that the right person would come around. Instead, he finally caved upon realizing that he wanted to dive into his retirement fund and travel the world before he was incapable of doing so. 

 

Scott’s thoughts were brought back to reality. He broke his frozen stance and turned up the music again. It was an odd thought to think about someone running Moir’s Skate Shop when they actually weren’t in the family. Yet, Scott swallowed away that thought and turned on the machine to beginning sharpening the next set of blades.

 

* * *

 

“I’m nervous,” admitted Tessa, the two of them curled up underneath the warm duvet. She twisted her silver rings, that had recently returned to her left hand, and nibbled at the bottom of her lip. “You know to see everyone again like this. The last time I did, it was your--”

 

“My wedding, yeah, I know,” said Scott. He wrapped his arm tighter around her waist and pulled her figure closer to his body. His cheek rested on the side of her head, as they laid in the darkness together. “They love you, Tess, and I know they will accept Ella with open arms.”

 

Tessa let out the breath she was inadvertently holding in and traced the tips of her fingers in circles around Scott’s bare chest. “So much has changed since the last Moir family gathering I attended. I remember helping Shea with the egg hunt when he was only three. Will, your nieces, and nephews, would even remember me? Some of them were so little I bet they--” She paused finding herself at a loss for words.

 

He chuckled and pressed a kiss into the side of her head. “They will Tess, of course, they will.”

 

“And what about Ella? Your family may be a lot for her to handle all at once.”

 

“The whole gang isn’t coming over until mid-afternoon anyways. Charlie has his own Easter morning traditions, and Ma and Dad just want time with the three of us.”

 

She nodded and nuzzled her head closer into him. “You’re right. I don’t know why I’m feeling this way, considering that I have known your family as long as I can remember. I guess it is the judgment that may happen about us, about us being together this way again. I see how my family is, and it makes me worried about how yours will be.”

 

Scott nodded and pulled away to face her directly. “I think at the end of all of this they just want us to be happy. Are you still just as happy as you were a couple of weeks ago?”

 

“Yes, you know that.”

 

“Then you don’t have anything to worry about.” He gave her a quick kiss, before laying on his back next to her. 

 

They both laid in silence listening to the spring rain gently hit the windowpane. Tessa’s eyes were struggling to stay open, while Scott let out several yawns. The night before neither had gotten much sleep, opting to stay up making quiet love to each other once they knew Ella was asleep. Tonight, they focused on assembling Ella’s Easter basket and putting together a mini Easter egg hunt of her own. 

 

“I shouldn’t sleep here tonight since we will have little one waking up as soon as the first ray of sunshine hits the skies,” whispered Scott after he noticed Tessa nodding off. “Nothing beats waking up early Easter morning to get a basket filled with sugar.”

 

“We did spoil her a lot this year. Remind me why we had to get her two Lindt chocolate bunnies?”

 

“Well, I figured she would be nice and share with you or me,” He grinned, meeting Tessa’s own smile. “We should probably get to sleep.”

 

Tessa’s happy expression quickly turned into a grumble. She yanked the duvet up on the bed, so it covered both of them more. “Do you have to?” She groaned, scooting herself closer to him. She used her hands to wrap them around his arm not wanting him to leave. “You keep me warm at night, and you somehow make sure I’m not restless.”

 

“Well, I don’t know about that.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I recall you being pretty restless last night,” He said amused, his mind wandering back their challenge of who can be the quietest.

 

Tessa opened up one of her eyes and smirked. “Stay with me and just wake up earlier than usual?”  

 

“Tess,” He groaned knowing what was about to come.

 

“Please?”  She pouted and gave him puppy dog eyes. 

 

“Fine, you win. I’ll set my alarm for six, you think that is early enough?” Scott moved away from her temporarily to grab his phone off his nightstand. He set several alarms around six, making sure that it was a peaceful tone to wake up to (he knew Tessa hated the siren alarm). 

 

She beamed at him. “That was easier than I thought it would be.”

 

“Don’t get used to it, Virtch,” He winked, “beside it doesn’t take much convincing when this is where I want to be too.”

 

Scott laid back down next to Tessa, securing the duvet on top of them. She twisted her body, so she laid facing away from him. Tessa felt his body pressed against her back and his arm draped over her waist. Scott’s face nuzzled into her bare neck and planted light kisses on it causing her eyelids to flutter shut. 

 

“Goodnight Tess,” He whispered.

 

“Night Scott.”

 

* * *

 

“So she kicked off her shoes and fell asleep with chocolate on her face,” noted Scott.

 

Tessa and Scott stood next to the back passenger door gazing at the four-year-old that was peacefully asleep. Their morning had started off bright and early, like Scott predicted, and ended up with Ella devouring her entire Lindt chocolate bunny for breakfast. She was hyper and gleeful to go on another egg hunt, as well as meet new kids around her age, but the sugar crash happened on the drive over.

 

“Guess she really does take after me,” giggled Tessa. She reached in the car and grabbed Ella’s pastel pink sandals off the ground to place them in Ella’s small backpack. Tessa’s eyes peered around the backseat, and she frowned, turning to look at Scott. “Did you put the Easter cupcakes in the trunk?”

 

“Yeah, figured the munchkin would get into them if I left them with her,” said Scott going to walk behind to open up his trunk, but was quickly stopped by Tessa grabbing ahold of his arm. “Tess--”

 

“I’ll get them. You carry Ella to the house to meet your family,” smiled Tessa. She walked away from Scott and opened up the trunk of his Acura.

 

Scott wiped the chocolate off Ella’s face then undid her seatbelt. He gently lifted her from the car seat, feeling her slightly squirm in his grasp. Ella let out a soft grunt then proceeded to yawn. She nuzzled her head in Scott’s shoulder and fluttered her eyes several times, to see Tessa standing behind her smiling. 

 

“I don’t want to wake up yet,” murmured Ella her eyes drifting closed. 

 

Tessa walked over and gave Ella a kiss on the cheek, before pushing back the stray hairs from Ella’s face. Her attention turned towards Scott who rubbed Ella’s back and smiled back at Tessa. His eyes gave her the silent message that he was ready to go see his parents. 

 

He shut the car door, and they began walking towards the front door, Tessa staring ahead at the red brick house. She didn’t know the last time she was at the Moir house, and it felt like she had gone back in time. There was the birthday parties, the Christmas snowball fights,  and the long summer nights out in the backyard while Joe grilled and the boys roughhoused with the football. Then there were the nights that Tessa would spend at the Moirs, after indulging herself in too much alcohol. The memories at the Moir house lasted until she met Mark until things formally ended with Scott, and now, now she was here with her daughter about to make new memories.

 

“Weird being back, eh?” chuckled Scott, as they walked up the steps to the front door. 

 

“A good weird though,” stated Tessa squeezing Scott’s arms lightly.

 

Before either could raise their fist to knock on the door, it immediately swung open to a grinning Alma Moir. “Finally you’re here!” cried out Alma loudly her arms outstretched. “Oh, Tess, come here. You look as beautiful as ever.” 

 

Tessa immediately fell into Alma’s arms, her body remembering the warmness of the touch. Alma had always been like a second mother to Tessa, still providing insight into Scott’s thought process and standing up for Tessa when Scott was mean to her. Not to mention the several occasions where Alma would take care of Tessa when she was sick in Canton when Kate couldn’t get off work. 

 

“It is so good to see you,” whispered Tessa in Alma’s ear.

 

“You too. I was so happy when Scott told me he was bringing you and Ella. You know the door is always open to you,” smiled Alma, before directing her attention to her son holding Ella. 

 

“She’s a little sleepy, Ma. Fell asleep on the ride over from a sugar overdose this morning. Someone couldn’t wait to devour the entire chocolate bunny,” chuckled Scott. He turned his head to look at Ella who had fallen back to sleep. “Tess do you want to--”

 

He didn’t need to speak further before Tessa walked over and rubbed Ella’s back. She shook Ella slightly and leaned in closely kissing Ella close to her ear. “Ella, can you wake up and say hello to Scott’s parents?”

 

Ella let out a heavy sigh and rubbed her eyes, before lifting her head up to look at Tessa. “Mommy, I’m tired.”

 

“I know, sweetheart, but remember our manners?”

 

Ella nodded slightly, turning her head to look at Alma. She was blurry eyed and could barely make out the woman in front of her. Except, the warm complexion was enough for Ella to know that this was someone safe and trustworthy. Alma looked like Scott, and it gave her that sense of familiarity and comfort that Scott gave Ella. 

 

“Ella, this is Scott’s mommy, Alma,” said Tessa softly. She rested her arm on top of Scott’s, looking at Ella while she spoke. “You met her when we got your skates, remember?”

 

“Hi Alma,” said Ella sleepily. She turned to face Alma more directly causing Sir Bunchkins to fall from between her and Scott. A small cry escaped Ella, as she leaned down to try to grab it, vastly underestimating the distance to the ground. “Oh no!”

 

Alma immediately beat Tessa and Scott to it and crouched down to grab the bunny. “He is mighty cute. What did you say his name was, Ella?” She handed the rabbit back to Ella, who immediately snatched it and clutched him tightly to her chest.

 

“Sir Bunchkins. My Daddy named him that,” said Ella.

 

“Well, your Daddy must have been good at naming things,” smiled Alma. “Oh, Tess, let me take those. Thank you for bringing something, you didn’t need to. Also, come on in. Joe is doing some last minute preparations in the back for the egg hunt later, but he should be in any minute.” Alma took the cupcakes from Tessa and let them into the entryway of the house.

 

Tessa removed her shoes immediately before wordlessly grabbing Ella out of Scott’s arms so he could untie his tennis shoes. Alma watched them in amusement, as they silently exchanged a message between the two of them. Once Scott removed his shoes, he outstretched his arms to grab the sleepy Ella back. 

 

“She’s still clearly tired,” laughed Scott. “Not sure how much sleep she got last night in anticipation for today.”

 

“How about you lay her down in your old bedroom? She can meet your father later and should rest up before the entire crew gets here,” Scott’s mother suggested.

 

“I get to sleep still?” whispered Ella.

 

The three adults started laughing, while Ella began rubbing her eyes. Scott excused himself from the room leaving Tessa and Alma to catch up and carried her up the stairs to his childhood bedroom. 

 

She shifted upon being laid on his Maple Leafs bed, immediately rolled to her side and blinking her eyes open and closed slowly. Ella stared at Scott, while he walked to his closet and pulled out one of the spare blankets for his room, that was always drafty no matter what season it was. 

 

“Is this your room?” whispered Ella.

 

“Yeah, kiddo it is. You like it?”

 

“It isn’t what I thought,” admitted Ella.

 

Scott covered Ella with a blanket, then sat down on the edge of the bed. He stroked her arm lightly and smiled down at her. “Oh yeah? Did you think it would be covered in unicorns and rainbows?” 

 

Ella smiled softly and shook her head. “No, I thought it would have Olympic stuff not Maple Leafs stuff. I didn’t know you liked hockey.”

 

“Well, then you still have more to learn about me,” chuckled Scott. He leaned down and gave Ella a kiss on her cheek. “Now, how about you sleep a little longer before the rest of my family shows up, okay? Seems like you didn’t get enough sleep last night and it isn’t just all the sugar.”

 

“I couldn’t sleep, so I played with Rufus,” giggled Ella, “then I woke up at five and you and Mommy were still asleep. I knew you would be mad if I woke you up for the Easter bunny.”

 

A lump formed immediately in Scott’s throat when Ella mentioned what time she woke up. He knew that he and Tessa were playing a dangerous game, sleeping in the same bed without explaining anything to Ella. Longing to hold and touch Tessa all night had trumped logic, and he only knew it was inevitable that Ella would find out. 

 

“Ella, about Mommy and I--”

 

“About you being in the same bed like Christmas?”

 

“Yeah,” Scott swallowed, “uh, I had a nightmare, and I went to your Mommy, and she told me I could, um, stay. You know how like when you have nightmares you go to someone to protect you.” 

 

He thought about his response on the spot, unsure if he could completely convince Ella. Judging by the look on Ella’s face, it was safe to say that she was buying whatever story slipped out of Scott’s mouth, even though he felt guilty for lying to her. Scott knew he had to bring it up to Tessa, sooner rather than later.

 

Ella nodded. “Now I have Rufus.”

 

“Right, and I don’t have Rufus to protect me, and Mommy doesn’t have you to protect her. But let’s not tell anyone that you know about this. It’ll make Mommy embarrassed. We don’t want that, right?” 

 

“No, we do not,” agreed Ella. She adjusted her position, and her eyes continued drooping shut.

 

Scott smiled. “Good. I’ll be downstairs if you need me, okay?” 

 

“Okay.” 

 

Scott stood up from the bed and smiled at Ella whose eyelids were now completely closed. Her breathing started to slow as she began drifting off to sleep, only to be momentarily disturbed by the sound of Scott’s footsteps. 

 

“Scott?” She said softly. “I love you.”

 

He paused, with his hand on the doorknob. “I love you too, kiddo. Enjoy your nap.”

 

* * *

 

Ella integrated herself easily into Scott’s family; it almost felt surreal. The introductions she was slightly bashful, especially with the older Moir grandchildren towering over her, but she soon found MacKinley wrapping a comforting arm around Ella and guiding her towards the backyard where the Easter egg hunt would start. 

 

Charlotte, Quinn, Mason, Cruz, and Shea were standing with their Easter baskets bickering about who would find the eggs with five dollar bills. Quinn insisted that the best eggs would be near the back of the property, while Mason argued that the best eggs would be in the best plastic egg shells. 

 

Ella stood near the back, rocking back and forth on her feet while staring down at her pastel purple Easter basket. She listened to the conversations with the cousins in front of her, suddenly not knowing if she should go up to the older kids and get to know them. She wasn’t used to being around this many people at once. 

 

“You okay, kiddo?” asked Scott, walking out of the house with a water bottle. He noticed the slight unsettledness in Ella’s posture. 

 

“Yeah, I’m just nervous.”

 

“Nervous?” He repeated back to her, raising his eyebrow. Scott crouched down and placed his arm around both of Ella’s shoulders. “Why would you be nervous?”

 

Ella shrugged and fiddled with the handle on her Easter basket. “That I’ll get run over or get the dumb candy in the eggs.”

 

“Dumb candy?” 

 

“Yeah, Mason said that some eggs have dumb candy in them and that you don’t want the dumb candy.”

 

Scott gave her a confused look, before glancing over at his nephew, who continued to proclaim loudly that he would hit the jackpot. He watched the rest of his nieces and nephews join the others, as Charlie walked around the yard observing where the eggs were hidden and taking a final count.

 

“Ells? You okay?” asked Tessa who joined Scott and Ella. She observed the distress in Ella’s face and worriedly looked at Scott, before back at her daughter. “The fun is just about to begin.”

 

“She’s worried she will get run over or get the eggs with the less desirable candy,” replied Scott. He watched Ella nod her head and hide her face behind her hands. 

 

Tessa frowned and crouched down next to them. “Oh, Ella, they won’t run you over. You should not be afraid, this is just for fun, and every egg is a prized one. Just go slowly. You are only allowed to pick up fifteen eggs, so you will still have as many as the others.”

 

“I don’t want to be the slowest one,” She sniveled. 

 

“Slow and steady wins the race,” winked Scott. “How about I help you with the hunt?”

 

Ella looked between Scott and Tessa. She nodded her head slightly, right as Charlie’s voice boomed across the yard to line up for the Easter egg hunt. Scott stood up from his crouched position and looked down at Ella, who was having her tousled curls combed through with Tessa’s fingers. Tessa glanced over at Scott and pulled her hand away from Ella’s hair, giving the small hands a squeeze.

 

“You’ll do great. Remember to practice your counting each time you get an egg,” beamed Tessa.

 

The race was soon afoot, and Tessa stood next to Alma and Joe, watching the kids (and Scott) run throughout the backyard trying to find the Easter eggs. Charlie and Danny stood on the sidelines taunting Scott for still being the baby brother, while Cara laughed and snapped pictures of the event. 

 

Tessa couldn’t help but stare at Scott helping Ella with the hunt. He jogged lightly next to her, pointing out an Easter egg every time he spotted one and scared away his nieces and nephews when they tried to capture an egg from Ella. The smile extended towards his eyes, as he laughed at Ella’s cheer every time she caught an egg. 

 

“He looks so natural out there with the kids, doesn’t he?” stated Alma gazing out at the ongoing Easter hunt. She crossed her arms against her chest and glanced over at Tessa.

 

Tessa smiled and nodded her head, making sure to take a photo of Scott crouching down and helping Ella grab an Easter egg. “Yeah, he has always been great with them,” said Tessa, “Ella latched onto him right from the day they first met. He’s good to her, treats her as if she is his own.”

 

“I bet that makes you happy, right?”

 

“Yeah, makes me realize that there was someone out there that could love another man’s child as if she was his own.”

 

Alma smiled and pinched Tessa’s arm lightly, before giving her a side hug. “I’m happy that you two found each other again even after everything that has changed. This time for good, I hope?”

 

Tessa looked into Alma’s eyes and smiled. “We want to take some aspects of our relationship slow, give us a chance to adjust to being in each other’s lives again, and I need to make sure I’m fully ready to get married again  . . . but I do know that this time it is forever.”

 

“And we will support you two through every aspect of this journey,” whispered Alma.

 

“I appreciate it, Alma, I truly do.”

 

After the Easter egg hunt finished, all of the kids gathered on the back patio to open up their treats. Scott walked up to Tessa, a foolish grin on his face, as he grabbed a water bottle from one of the coolers and gave Tessa a hug. She wrinkled her nose at the sweat that clung to his black shirt and giggled while he continued holding her in an embrace.

 

“Scott,” She laughed, “you’re smelly from running around like a crazy person with kids half your size.”

 

“Oh come on, T, you know you adore this smell,” He said pulling her closer to her face was pressed up against his sweaty chest.

 

Alma laughed behind the two of them, amused to see Tessa and Scott’s light and fun interactions return years later. “Scott, honey, are you trying to torture her? It’s like you’re a little kid again and I have to get after you for ruining your nice shirt. Which by the way, was that nice shirt you're doing Tess?”

 

Tessa giggled and gave Alma a thumbs up. She was spun around in the hug by Scott, who turned her so he could look at his mother. 

 

“What can I say, Ma, T-Dog knows how to bring out the little kid in me,” He winked, “Besides those kids sure know how to give you a run for your money, literally because there are the golden five dollar bills hidden in all those eggs.”

 

Alma shook her head and walked away to join Carol.

 

“Five dollars?” Tessa’s eyes widened and were finally released from the hug. “What happened to Loonies and Toonies, and the occasional chocolate? Now I feel ripped off as a kid.”

 

“Well, that is what started all the bickering and made Ella nervous. Ask Aunt Carol, this was her great idea.” Scott took a drink from his water bottle and sat on top of the picnic table to look at all of the kids excitedly talking in a circle, while Ella sat on his father’s lap. 

 

“Hey, not all of her ideas were horrible,” said Tessa, poking his leg as she took her seat on the bench of the table. “I think some of them were world record breaking.”

 

He reached down and squeezed her shoulders, his face getting close to her ears. “I couldn’t be happier that Jackie dumped me and I got you.” He pressed a kiss into her hairline, before glancing at Charlotte parading around her five dollar bill. 

 

Meanwhile, Tessa focused her attention on Joe and Ella. His arms were wrapped around her, as he helped her open up the eggs from her basket. She squealed when she saw chocolate and only pouted slightly when it was a lollipop. Except, her eyes lit up completely when she pulled out a five dollar bill from one of the eggs. 

 

“You did it!” exclaimed Joe. 

 

“I did it!” gleefully repeated Ella.

 

“What?” shouted Mason, his head abruptly swinging around to look at Ella. His mouth dropped open when he saw the money, then frowned at his lack of money in any of his eggs. “How did Ella get that?”

 

Scott chuckled. “Hey Mase, what did I tell you before we started? Slow and steady always wins the race.” He winked at his nephew, before smiling down at Tessa feeling happier than ever.

 

* * *

 

“So, are you actually going to reach the point where you get down on one knee?” prodded Charlie, sitting on the lawn chair between Danny and Cara. He had an opened Molson Canadian in his hand and began sipping away at it, glancing over at the kids playing tag. 

 

Scott rolled his eyes and took a sip of his own beer. “Why does it matter?”

 

“Because we are tired of this back and forth crap,” said Danny, “but you two are actually together, right? Last time we spoke you were doing your usual fight and avoid each other.”

 

“Yes, she’s my girlfriend. We are very much together.”

 

His brothers and Cara started laughing and shouting “finally.” Charlie immediately leaned forward and stared at Cara, demanding that she would pay him by the end of the week, while Danny chuckled and shook his head letting out a loud, obnoxious whistle. Scott just continued to roll his eyes and lean back in the lawn chair trying to ignore his nosy family members. 

 

“You guys had bets I see,” scoffed Scott. “Glad to know that I’m that person in the family.”

 

“The last thing we wanted was for you to die alone and single,” said Danny, “and I told them that you and Tess would find your way back to each other since you were both single.”

“She is single because of an unfortunate circumstance,” stated Scott. His thoughts immediately drifted towards the upcoming anniversary of Mark’s passing. Scott knew that day would be hard for Tessa, and he was still trying to figure out his role in that day and what needed to do to make it as painless and possible. Though he knew that tears would be shed again, and she had purposefully scheduled work off for that day.

 

Cara snickered a bit, raising her own beer can up to her lips while smirking. “Well, if you somehow failed to be with her again I was going to set you up again. So, let’s be happy that you and Tess finally got your shit together.”

 

“We aren’t all the way there yet, we are still taking our time. There is this whole situation with her family and Mark’s family--” Scott immediately paused, realizing the entirety of what Cara said. “God, don’t ever fucking set me up again. I’d rather die alone than go through that again. You set me up with a legally married woman last time, Cara.”

 

“She was separated for a year,” pointed out Charlie.

 

“That isn’t the point. Fuck, I didn’t even know that Jackie didn’t file until--” Scott shuddered at the thought.  “Anyways, for your information about moving forward with T, I did get the engagement ring back from Chiddy.”

 

Cara choked on her beer, while Danny and Charlie froze.

 

“You did what?” asked Danny. 

 

“Chiddy still had it, and I wanted it back. The ring was only meant for her and will one day be on her finger when she is ready when I’m ready.” Scott puffed out his chest slightly and smirked, finishing off his beer and standing up. “But I swear if any of you spread this information around before I tell my Ma and Dad you will not hear the end of it.”

 

“Deal,” The three said in unison. 

 

“Although can we see a picture of it again?” questioned Cara.

 

“You will see it when it is on Tessa’s finger.” He grinned at the three of them and walked away.  Placing his can in one of the empties containers, that his mom had conveniently situated outside, he stepped inside to join Tessa.

 

* * *

 

Tessa walked to the park holding Ella’s hand tightly. It was approaching the beginning of May and Liz finally reached out to Tessa to set up a time to see Ella again. Tessa wanted it simple and in a small environment, not wanting to make Ella feel that this was a big deal to see Mark’s side of the family again. This was supposed to be normal to continue seeing them, it had to remain normal.

 

Ella had not understood why they couldn’t let Scott and Rufus come, saying that Rufus and Scott always went to the park. Yet, Tessa knew the last thing she wanted to do while she was repairing things with Liz was to display her relationship with Scott and Rufus. It was a delicate subject matter to someone in Mark’s family, and Tessa knew now wasn’t the right time to bring it up. She just hoped Ella wouldn’t mention Scott. 

 

Scott and Tessa had sat down with Ella the other day to discuss to her why they shared beds after Scott informed Tessa about what Ella saw. They hated lying to her, but right now, as they navigated their relationship, they knew it was best to tell her the bare minimum. They had come to the agreement to tell Ella that they were having sleepovers like how Ella would have sleepovers with her friends and cousins. She didn’t ask too many questions afterward, other than why she couldn’t have sleepovers on school nights.

 

“Mommy, can we go on the swings?” asked Ella, with a little skip in her step as they approached the community park that had a few kids playing.

 

“Hold on, I think Auntie Liz is waiting for us in one of those cars,” excitedly said, Tessa. 

 

She waved towards one of the black SUVs, making eye contact with Liz. Liz waved back and quickly got out of her car, hurrying over towards Tessa and Ella. “Hey, you two!” boomed Liz across the park.

 

“Auntie Liz!” gleefully shouted Ella, letting go of Tessa’s hand to meet Liz halfway. 

 

Liz immediately crouched down and opened up her arms for Ella to run into. Before Mark’s death, Liz and Ella always had a close relationship. Liz was one of the first people to hold Ella, immediately encapsulated by Ella’s relaxed temperament as an infant. Despite Liz living in Vancouver at the time, the occasions they got to see each other were always special.

 

“Hey Ella Bella, how are you? You have gotten so big since the last time I saw you!” said Liz, tickling Ella’s stomach to hear her giggles echo across the park. 

 

“I’m good. I missed you,” said Ella her cheeks flushing slightly.

 

“I missed you too. Hopefully, we can see each other more now,” said Liz. She fixed Ella’s side bangs that were slipping outside of the clip, before glancing up at Tessa who stood there smiling. “Thanks for arranging this visit, sorry we couldn’t do this sooner.”

 

Tessa smiled, “No worries, I’m glad that you are seeing her.”

 

“Can we go on the swings now?” asked Ella looking between her mother and her aunt.

 

Liz stood up and nodded her head. “Yes of course! Want me to push you?” 

 

“Yes!” squealed Ella.

 

The three of them walked into the park and let Ella pick out her swing. Liz lifted up Ella effortlessly and placed her on the swing and began pushing her gently. Tessa stood near Liz in the back, watching Liz push Ella on the swings and listening to Ella’s squeals of joy. 

 

“Mom and Dad were right, Ella does look like Mark,” Liz said later, as they watched Ella play in the sandbox. The two sisters-in-law sat on the park bench nearby, enjoying the spring sunshine. 

 

Tessa nodded, hugging her denim jacket closer to her. “It’s funny because my mom says that Ella is just like me. Must be the eyes, hair, and love for chocolate.” Tessa laughed, seeing Liz smile softly. “How are your parents doing?”

 

“Better, I think they are finally coming to terms with things. Took them a while, but I know everyone grieves differently.”

 

“Well tell them that we miss them.”

 

Liz broke eye contact with Tessa and looking down at her nails, beginning to pick at them. “Tess, Mom, and Dad want to come, but are just . . . I don’t know weird about everything. I think they are healing from losing Mark and thinking that seeing Ella will cause more hurt. I mean that was my fear, but just spending this time with her is therapeutic.”

 

“I know, I know they are having trouble. Just let Carey and Vince know that I will be waiting whenever they want to see her again. And let them know that I try to incorporate Mark in her everyday life. I don’t want her to forget about him,” stated Tessa. “He was a special guy, a fantastic father, and I hate that she has to grow up without him.” 

 

“He was,” whispered Liz, tears on the brink of her eyes, but hastily pushed them back. 

 

Tessa reached over and grabbed Liz’s hand, squeezing it. “There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t wish he was still here,” admitted Tessa, “but at least there is still a part of him left on this Earth.”

 

“And what a wonderful part of him that is still here.”

 

They watched Ella flip over one of the buckets to create a mini tower. Her face lit up when the tower failed to crumble under the sand, then diligently started loading another bucket of sand. Ella remained focused and tuned out the other kids screaming as they ran by the sand pit, hardly flinching when a sudden noise occurred. She was peaceful and content, which only caused Tessa and Liz to smile.

 

“I can’t believe it has almost been a year,” said Liz, after a few minutes passed, “you realize how many conversations you took for granted . . . ”

 

Tessa sighed. It had been quite a year filled with unexpected memories. She remembered feeling the despair when she heard the news from the doctor that Mark was dead, that she would never find someone else in her life again. Then Scott came along and suddenly worked in her life again, sweeping her off her feet, and making that part in her heart finally came back. She didn’t know how Mark’s family would view Tessa moving on. It was the one thing she feared to tell them.

 

She knew she had to tell them eventually, knew that it was inevitable since Tessa knew Scott was her future. Tessa knew she wanted to marry Scott, have another child with Scott, but it scared her to openly admit it. Would wanting this less than a year from Mark’s death be viewed poorly? Would people not understand how much Mark meant to her and how Scott just suddenly overtook her life again?

 

Tessa’s head spun, as she tried to formulate an answer. She glanced over at Liz, then refocused her attention back to her daughter. “I feel like I have been through a multitude of emotions this past year, but I always reach one thing. Mark wouldn’t want us to be sad for the rest of our lives. He would want us to focus on the happy memories with him.”

 

“Are you finding happiness?” 

 

Tessa gulped. “Yeah, I am.”

 

* * *

 

The day of Mark’s passing approached quickly, and Tessa couldn’t help but feel nauseous once she woke up. It was early in the morning, and for the first time, Tessa felt wide awake. Her hand was pressed against her forehead, as she stared at the ceiling seeing the sunlight slowly began to stream into the room. She knew this day was going to be hard. She knew that her entire life changed a year ago after foolish mistakes cost someone their life.

 

Tessa sighed and looked over to see Scott cradling Ella in his arms. She was beginning to struggle last night with the thought of this day almost upon them, and Scott immediately picked up on the signs of it. He had excused himself from their bed only to have him return with a sleepy Ella in his arms, kissing the side of Ella’s face and telling her they wanted her in the sleepover too. 

 

That was one of the many reasons why Tessa loved Scott. He always knew how to comfort her, even when she didn’t know what she needed to feel better. Tessa knew that Scott would try to make today as easy as possible for her, and would give her space when needed. He knew her better than she knew herself, even after the time apart. No one could ever understand her better. 

 

“Tess, are you okay?” murmured Scott, his eyes still remaining closed.

 

“Just thinking, that’s all,” softly responded Tessa, “how did you know I was--”

 

“Awake? Easy, you started shifting around in the bed.” One of his hazel eyes opened, peering over Ella’s sleeping body to meet Tessa’s green ones. “You doing okay, Tutu?”

 

She gave him a small smile upon hearing one of the first nicknames he ever gave her. Scott rarely used that nickname, but when he did, it gave her that sense of comfort to be vulnerable. Tessa’s eyes began burning, immediately causing her to wipe at the corners of them. “Yes, no, I don’t know. A year ago my life was so different.”

 

“I can only imagine how you are feeling,” whispered Scott, “but know that I’m here in whatever way you need me today.”

 

Tessa nodded. “Thank you. The thing is I don’t know what I need right now.” She glanced over at her clock and began shifting underneath the blankets, rolling over to face Scott. “I might just get up and make coffee, and just reflect.”

 

Scott knew that Tessa needed a bit of space today and he swallowed when he met her eyes. This day would never be easy for her, at least not for a long time. “You’ll be okay?”

 

“Yeah, I will. Thanks for understanding,” Tessa smiled softly. She leaned over Ella and gave Scott a light peck on the lips, then a kiss on Ella’s cheek. 

 

Tessa climbed out of bed and threw on her fuzzy white robe, and began walking down the stairs. Rufus had immediately poked his head up from the reading nook and jumped off the chaise lounge, following Tessa down the stairs wanting to be let out and to have some food.

 

After she attended to Rufus, Tessa fixed herself a cup of coffee and grabbed her computer. She curled up in her formal living room, enjoying the peace and quiet as she sorted through work emails. There were multiple designers interested in collaborating with her for a line, as well as her longtime collaborator Hillberg and Berk wanting to start mapping out the fall release. 

 

Tessa remembered when after she and Scott officially retired she felt like she would never get a sense of fulfillment again. Yet, she met Mark, fell in love, and had a daughter that seemed to complete her life. Sure, she wasn’t working at the capacity she used to work, but there was some invigorating joy about being a mother. About making sure that her daughter was kind, smart, and compassionate towards others. That Ella didn’t judge others for their differences and would lend a helping hand when needed. Back then she didn’t know what she wanted, but Tessa realized that becoming a mother was all she needed to be satisfied with her life, with the light work in collaborating with various designers and brands.

 

As Tessa typed away on her business email account, as well as sent adjustments for some sketches, she lost track of time. Before she knew it, her second cup of coffee was gone, and she heard the light chime of her clock striking ten. She closed her eyes and leaned back stretching, her eyes fluttering shut as she thought about how different this morning was a year ago. 

 

She had woken up with Mark in her bed, they had discussed starting to try having another child. Tessa remembered writing in her planner on her phone that she would schedule an appointment to remove her IUD to make that next step. They had laughed and kissed about it, giggling like idiots in love that they would try for another baby. 

 

And just like that, her life changed.

 

Tessa was thrust back into reality, upon hearing the laughter echoing from the master bedroom. Her lips curled upwards, the sound being music to her ears. Tessa glanced down at Rufus, who was curled up next to the coffee table and made eye contact with the dog. 

 

“Want to go see them?” She asked, immediately getting his tail wagging. 

 

She stood up and began walking out of the living room, with Rufus already darting upstairs. Except, as soon as her foot touched the first step the doorbell rang. Curious and confused, as to why someone would be here at this time, she adjusted her robe, so it was tighter against her and crept over to the door. 

 

Tessa immediately froze upon seeing who was behind the closed door, her mouth falling open slightly. In many ways it felt like she had the wind knocked out of her, never expecting that this would happen especially on all days out of this. It was as if it was a ghost from the past, and she began to feel her body tremble. 

 

She tried to come up with the right words, but remained flabbergasted and in a trance. The spring wind blew through the house, opening up the door more, to share the laughter that was filing the house with the rest of the world. The laugh that was traveling down the stairs and mixed with a gleeful scream. 

 

Ella was piggy-backing on Scott’s back, as he galloped down the stairs. Between laughs, he was shouting ridiculous things about her being the Queen, and he was just the dirty, old peasant. Neither was paying attention to who was on the other side of the door or the fact that Tessa hadn’t flinched at all. 

 

“Can the three of us have more sleepovers? I like sleeping with you and Mommy!” shouted Ella.

 

“We will see. We have to ask your mother,” replied Scott, suddenly hitting the last step. It was then that he froze too, after seeing Tessa’s stiff body language. Scott alarmingly continued staring at her, walking up slowly behind her, while continuing to hold onto Ella’s legs. “Tess, what's--” He stopped when he saw who was on the other side of the door.

 

They all remained quiet until Ella poked her head around Scott, a bright smile flooding her face. “Hi, Grandma Carey and Grandpa Vince!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This officially kickstarts the beginning of the end. 
> 
> Not sure if anyone noticed, but the chapter count has changed from 30 chapters to 28. There are many reasons why I decided to do this, reasons I don't want to dive into because I will ramble forever. Nonetheless, all of my original intentions with how this story will end have remained. 
> 
> Thank you for the love, support, and kindness to me throughout this journey. It is hard to believe how far this story has come and that I only have nine more chapters to go. Thank you for taking the time to comment or dropping a kudos, or finding me on Twitter to express your love. I continue to be mind blown. 
> 
> I hope I will continue to do this story justice as I wrap up loose ends.
> 
> xx


	20. The Little Life We Have Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa confronts Mark's parents after their unexpected arrival and birthday celebrations kick off for Tessa. Yet as the weeks pass by and it gets closer to Scott's departure they begin wondering where life will take them.

Vehemence filled the air, as the adults stood there speechless. Scott remained near the bottom of the stairs, his mouth agape as Ella remained on his back. It was an inopportune time, there was no doubt about that. Not only did Mark’s parents overhear Ella’s exclamation about the three of them having sleepovers, it was also on the day of Mark’s passing when emotions were bound to be high.

 

“Grandma? Grandpa? It’s me, Ella!” gleefully said Ella. She started squirming underneath Scott’s grip, giving him no choice but to let her shimmy down his back. As soon as her feet hit the hardwood floor, she skipped towards the front door with a wide grin on her face, but her grandparents didn’t look down at her, instead they continued to look between Tessa and Scott.

 

Ella noticed the lack of response right away and began jumping up and down on the floor, yanking on the hem of Carey’s coat. She wanted the time, she wanted the attention, and to be able to play with her grandparents again. 

 

Finally Carey broke eye contact with Tessa, to gaze down at her granddaughter, biting her tongue to keep from exploding. “Hello Angela, how are you doing?” said Carey softly, but one could pick up the disdain in her tone about this situation.

 

“Good! I have a dance recital soon. Are you coming?” asked Ella.

 

Carey swallowed. “I’m not sure, we will have to see. Won’t we Vince?”

 

“Oh,” pouted Ella, “but Mommy said that everyone would be there. What if I call you and remind you?” Her little fingers were still curled around the hem of Carey’s jacket, wanting more than ever to be scooped up by her grandmother and given the usual array of hugs and kisses.

 

“We should go,” instructed Vince, “it seems like you have other plans and we don’t want to intrude.” His tongue clicked with every word that he spoke to Tessa, in a way that it sounded like some form of mockery. He turned around and began walking down the front steps, waiting for Carey to follow.

 

“Go? Already?” whined Ella, “but you just got here. I wanted to play.” She let go of her grandmother’s jacket turning around to stare at Tessa whose eyes were narrowing in on Carey and Mark. “Mommy, why won’t they stay? Can you make them stay?”

 

“Carey, Vince, why don’t you come in and I’ll make you some coffee? Ella would love to see you,” calmly said Tessa, “She has grown so much since you last saw her and--”

 

Carey flexed her hand and held it up towards Tessa’s face, rendering Tessa speechless once again. Her hand clenched into a fist as her arm dropped to her side. With little to no hesitation, Carey turned around to follow Vince. “I think we are done here. Enjoy your time together,” She icily said. 

 

As abruptly as they arrived, they left.

 

Mark’s parents walked down the pathway leading to their car, once again disappearing from Tessa and Ella’s lives. Tessa stood in the doorway, anxiously bouncing up and down on her heels chewing her bottom lip. This isn’t how she wanted Ella’s relationship with Mark’s parents to be. With little to no hesitation, Tessa darted out from the house and ran after Mark’s parents knowing that she would never forgive herself if she didn’t try in this moment.

 

She ignored the cries from Ella and tuned out Scott’s soothing voice as he held her in the doorway, knowing it was best if Tessa went alone. Tessa’s feet hit the damp grass, not caring if the bottom of her feet would turn green or get muddy. Her pulse was quickened, as she stopped several feet away from where Carey was opening the door to the passenger seat.

 

“Carey, wait. Please,” pleaded Tessa.

 

“Tessa, no. I can’t do this with you, not now,” said Carey pausing with her hand on the door. Her lower lip began to tremble, as she shook her head, and yanked on the door handle. “Not on this day, this day out of all days.”

 

“Then why did you come?” Tessa challenged. 

 

Carey closed her eyes, holding back her own tears that were forming. “I wanted to see the last piece of my son on this day, and to spend time with Angela.” 

 

“You could have called, let me know, so--”

 

“So what? You can hide the man that you’re sleeping with from us? How naive do you think we are? Just like that you let him back into your life.” She pointed angrily towards the open doorway, where Scott was trying to hold back Ella from running towards the adults. Carey took a breath, then met Tessa’s eyes. “I asked Mark about Scott repeatedly and if he would interfere with his relationship with you. He reassured me that you and Scott remained close friends and nothing more would come of it.”

 

Tessa froze listening to the words coming out of Carey’s mouth. From the time that Mark and Scott became good friends, Tessa assumed that Carey and Vince would openly accept Scott and his friendship with Tessa. But did they ever accept it? Were Carey’s words true or spoken out of emotion in this moment? 

 

Tessa swallowed the lump that formed in her throat. “Nothing ever came of it when Mark and I were dating or even married. He just--”

 

“How does it look to you from our point of view? Your son is dead and you show up at his wife’s house and she is found with another man. One of her former partners and one of his friends. Did you just need to jump into another man’s arms right away?”

 

Peaceful reasoning was soon thrown out of the question, as anger flooded through Tessa’s veins. She clenched both of her fists shaking her head, any sign of wavering in her tone suddenly vanquished. “What would you know?” She said firmly, her voice rising, “You disappeared from your granddaughter’s life to grieve. You abandoned us, rarely reached out to check if we were okay, when I did nothing but reach out to you. I forced visits and eventually you ignored us.”

 

Carey scowled.

 

Tessa continued, “I shouldn’t have to explain myself, considering you haven’t given me any valid reason to, but Scott was the only person who gave me light when I was going through dark. That somehow he gave me the strength to get up and learn how to live my days without Mark. You have no damn right to judge me when you have selfishly taken yourself out of our life. That you expect me to accept you with open arms when you arrive unannounced on my doorstep? No! That isn’t how it works. I’m tired of giving you multiple chances when you haven’t even given me one chance.”

 

“You never loved Mark. Not as much as you love him,” hissed Carey, pointing her finger towards Scott, “Mark loved you with all his heart and I don’t think you loved him nearly as much.”

 

“You don’t know anything, Carey. You know nothing at all,” Tessa said through her teeth. “Now get off my damn property and next time you want to see Ella, I suggest you don’t judge my life or my choices.” Tessa turned swiftly on her heel and walked back towards the door where Rufus stood barking at Carey and Vince.

 

She held back every ounce of her tears, knowing that Ella had to come first. 

 

Ella was hysterical and immediately reached out her arms, her face red with tears streaming down them. She begged for her grandparents to come back, as they drove away from Tessa’s house, not understanding why they didn’t want to hug her. Tessa immediately lifted Ella up and cradled her against her chest, walking to sit down on the edge of the stairs, while Scott calmed down Rufus and shut the door.

 

Ella sobbed into Tessa’s chest, her hand clutching around her robe. “Why don’t they love me, Mommy?” She sobbed, her snivels overtaking her breathing momentarily.

 

Tears brimmed on the edges of Tessa’s eyes. She pressed a kiss into Ella’s hair and gently rocked her back and forth, knowing that she had to remain strong for her daughter. “Shh, Ella, it is okay. You have me and Scott, and we both love you very much.” 

 

Tessa glanced up to look at Scott, his jaw was clenched at the situation he just witnessed, but immediately softened upon Tessa saying that. 

 

Scott cleared his throat and sat down on the other side of Tessa, touching Ella’s arm. Ella’s body began melting at Scott’s touch and soon the hand that was clutching Tessa’s robe encompassed Scott’s pinky. She looked up from Tessa to stare at Scott, tears still cascading down her face. 

 

“Is this what you meant when you told me what family is?” whispered Ella.

 

Scott’s heart sank, as he swallowed the lump in his throat. He recalled the conversation he and Ella had on their first of many walks together. The conversation where he told her that family was who impacted your life the most, that it was the people who would put you above anything else. He didn’t want it to be this way with Mark’s family, he wanted them to remain true family to Ella. 

 

“They will always be your family,” softly spoke Scott. 

 

“They don’t act like it,” said Ella.

 

“They are just struggling right now. I know it is unfair, but sometimes this is how life has to be,” whispered Tessa. “But even through all the pain and darkness there is always light waiting for you at the end of the tunnel.”

 

Ella wiped at her eyes and snuggled her head back into Tessa’s chest, while continuing to hold onto Scott’s hand. She looked between Scott and Tessa, “I love you, Mommy and Scott.”

 

Tessa snuggled herself closer to Ella, resting her head on top of hers. She closed her eyes shut, as she heard the snivels coming out of Ella. “You have such a bright future, Ella. I love you,” said Tessa kissing Ella’s forehead. Her eyes drifted towards the familiar hazel ones, and never once broke eye contact, as she repeated, “I love you.” 

 

Scott’s expression melted completely upon hearing those words escape Tessa’s mouth. He knew that they both loved each other, but it felt like everything changed upon hearing it. “I love you too,” Scott mouthed gazing into Tessa’s eyes. 

 

He wrapped his arm securely around her shoulders. The three of them sat there like that for awhile, neither wanting to move. Ella’s cries were soon subdued and she breathed deeply to calm herself down. Tessa and Scott’s eyes were both closed, their heads resting against one another. They took in the moment and for once it became even more real to them that they were a family.

 

* * *

 

“Tess, are you okay?” asked Scott, leaning against the doorway of the master bathroom. He watched her gently pat her face dry with a towel, then glanced down at his feet unsure what more to say.

 

Ella had managed to wear herself out with her crying and fell asleep in Tessa’s arms, only to be moved to the couch in the family room with Rufus curled up next to her. Tessa had paused and stared down at Ella, her arms crossed against her chest while she chewed on the bottom of her lip. Eventually Tessa swiftly turned around and brushed past Scott to head upstairs to get ready for the day.

 

Scott gave her ten minutes to herself, but he knew Tessa like the back of his hand. It was the defense mechanism that she did when she didn’t want others to see her vulnerability. The same technique she elicited when her legs were in unbearable pain and would quickly head to the women’s locker room after practice, not saying anything to Scott. Only later did he find out from Meryl that Tessa was hysterically sobbing. It was then that he realized he had to forcefully integrate himself into her defense mechanism, to wordlessly comfort her. He knew this time was no different.

 

“I’m fine,” She stifled, but her body language said otherwise.

Scott took one step forward into the bathroom which only caused Tessa to hold up a flexed hand. 

 

“Scott, stop.”

 

He paused halfway towards her and pursed his lips. “Do you want me to leave you alone?”

 

“Yes. Wait, no.  I don’t know,” exasperated Tessa. She turned around to face him teary eyed and shaking, trying to contain her emotions. He knew that she had put on a brave face during and after the confrontation with Carey, wanting to remain strong for Ella. “This is all too much, Scott, just all too much.”

 

“Come here, it will be okay.” He walked towards her, encompassing her small frame in his arms. She buried her hands and face against his chest letting out a heavy sob into his chest. Scott felt his shirt beginning to dampen, as the tears fell from Tessa’s eyes. He held her upright and as close to possible, rubbing her back and trying to help contain the shaking. “What you did was brave. I’m so proud of you for standing up for yourself and Ella. You did nothing wrong.”

 

“I think I did something wrong,” admitted Tessa. She pulled away from Scott’s chest, her face stained with tears. “I left a piece of my heart reserved for you, even when I was with Mark.”

 

He sucked in his breath unsure what to say.

 

She licked her lips, tasing her salty tears, and continued, “Maybe Carey is right. What if I never loved Mark or at least not to the extent I love you. Maybe I never deserved him, maybe I don’t deserve any of this.” She waved around at the house and gestured at Scott, shaking her head. Tessa let out a breathe and pinched the bridge of her nose.

 

“T--”

 

Tessa cut him off. “I’m a damn mess. I don’t understand how I deserve to be happy and in love with you only a year after Mark died. It makes it seem like I never loved him, sounds ridiculous, I know.”

 

Scott sighed and used his thumb to wipe away her tears. His other hand gently rested underneath Tessa’s chin, as he raised it up so her eyes met his. “You loved Mark, Tess. I know you did.”

 

“But how? How would you know? You weren’t around.”

 

“Because you chose to have your happily ever after with him, not me.”

 

Tessa bit her lip and sadly looked at Scott. 

 

He wasted no time to continue, “After we broke up I continued to think that we would date others but we wouldn’t get to the actual wedding, and we would get back together. Looking back, I’m a fucking moron.” 

 

Scott shook his head and rolled his eyes at his own stupidity back then. 

 

“But, T, you didn’t wait around for me to get my shit together. You chose him, chose him out of love. You married him, created a beautiful life together, a life that should have never been cut short. I knew that he was your choice, that you loved him more than anything else the day I met him.”

 

Tessa closed her eyes and nodded, temporarily transported back to the time when Scott and Mark first met. They had met up at a local bar in London, not wanting to make a big deal out of this meeting. Tessa was nervous, considering past boyfriends and flings, always resulted in Scott immediately calling the guy bad news. Instead, this time, after Mark went to get the next round of drinks, Scott turned to Tessa and said, “He’s a good guy. You should keep him around.”

 

Tessa was brought back to reality, when she felt Scott’s hands rubbing up and down her back. She remembered going through the breakup with Scott, remembered the feeling of falling out of love with him and into love with Mark. Scott was right; one day she woke up and chose someone else over him. Something that never had occurred with all the boyfriends in the past. Yet, why did a part of her heart always belong to Scott even after she fell head over heels in love with Mark? Why was there a part that Mark could never completely fill?

 

She softly said, “really?”

 

“You loved Mark, never let anyone convince you otherwise,” Scott firmly responded. He stroked Tessa’s hair and then pressed a kiss into her hair. “And I know a part of you will always love him.”

 

“Is it possible to have two soulmates?” She dabbed at the corners of her eyes. “Because in so many ways you have always been my soulmate, right since I first held your hand when we were little. But Mark, Mark was my soulmate in so many other ways.”

 

Scott sighed and twirled a piece of Tessa’s hair between his fingers. “I don’t have an answer, I wish I did.” He felt helpless upon seeing her dismay. “But know that I love you, know that I care, and most importantly know that I will listen to anything you have to say. I’m not going anywhere unless you ask me to.”

 

“Thank you,” She replied. She ran her hand through his hair on the back of his head and squeezed her eyes shut. A tear leaked from her eyes again, causing her to once again lay her head on Scott’s chest.

 

“Everything will be okay, T. I know today is hard, but it will work out,” reassured Scott, “but for now, you can cry, cry as much as you want to, and remember the great person Mark was.”

 

And just like that, Tessa cried. She let every single one of her barriers come down, let the grief and sorrow pour out from her on this day. Scott picked her up, and carried her to the bed, not caring that it had just been made as he tugged back the sheets. He cuddled up next to Tessa, providing her comfort as she continued to let herself cry. 

 

Every once in awhile Scott would run his fingers through her hair, feeling her shudder at his touch. The only thing he said was, “let it out, T, let it out.”

 

* * *

 

A week passed by with no resolution between Carey and Vince mostly due to Tessa’s dismissal about reaching out again. She was exhausted and raw from the emotional turmoil that they caused in her life, and didn’t want to talk about it to Scott. After she had woken up from her nap that day, Tessa had quickly gotten ready and went to the cemetery alone to visit Mark, saying she needed to talk about what happened. Scott gave her that distance, and didn’t pry about her private visit with Mark.

 

It didn’t make it any easier for Scott knowing that she was going through another wave of grief, this time pertaining to the absence of Mark’s parents. She went back to her therapist, started journaling again, and would go on runs with Rufus to clear her mind from everything. Yet, despite all of this going on, it didn’t hold back on their relationship. It  continued to grow with neither regretting falling in love with each other.

 

They were happy, despite everything going on, and their private conversations turned into talking about the future. Tessa already started planning their next trip to visit Scott in Montreal, while Scott told her he would be home for Ella’s birthday in late August and would stay through Labor Day weekend to celebrate his. 

 

As the sun lit up the room on the blissful spring morning, Scott looked over at Tessa and smiled. Today was her birthday and he wanted more than anything for this birthday to be special. He lifted his phone off of his nightstand and glanced at the time noticing that it was only six-thirty a.m., making it the perfect time to get out of bed and get the day started. 

 

Scott snuggled up against Tessa and pressed a kiss to her cheek, watching her lips curl upward. “Happy birthday beautiful,” He whispered into her ear.

 

She blinked her bleary eyes open and continued to smile up at him. “Mmm the best way to wake up on my birthday,” She murmured pulling the duvet higher so it was underneath her chin. “Except I don’t want to wake up.”

 

He chuckled, “you don’t have to. Go back to sleep, T. I’ll be back in a bit, okay?” 

 

Tessa nodded her head slightly and stirred under the covers. “Can you pass me my pajamas before you go?  Last thing I need is to explain to my daughter why I slept naked.” A small smirk spread on her face.

 

“We should probably not do that anymore,” laughed Scott. He gave her a quick kiss on the lips then climbed out of bed to find his own boxers and white shirt thrown across the bedroom. 

 

He slid on his own clothing before coming across the lavender silk camisole and short pajama set of Tessa’s and handed it to her. She reluctantly sat up exposing her bare chest and began correcting her inside out top. 

 

Scott couldn’t help himself, as a lump formed in his throat and the stirring in his boxers. Tessa seemed to notice the shift in his demeanor, smirking as she glanced down at his boxers. She saw how torn he was on what to do in this situation and began slowing down her willingness to put on her top. She knew that this was a weakness to him, how he marveled at the light trace of freckles that ran between her breasts. Yet continued to taunt him, as she slide both arms through the shirt.

 

The sleepiness faded from her, as soon as Scott took that step forward to kiss her. Her mouth immediately opened to the touch of his lips, feeling his tongue slip into her mouth and intertwine with her own. A moan from the back of her throat slipped out, as she felt Scott’s hands lightly squeeze her breasts.

 

“Scott,” She whined, once she felt the wetness of his lips against the spot on her neck. “What happened to more sleep and getting dressed?” She knew the reason, she knew that she exacerbated the longing and lust by slowly getting dressed.

 

“You sat up and reminded me how gorgeous you are,” He whispered against her neck causing the hairs on the back of her neck to stand up. “And I think someone needs to start their birthday the right way.” His lips migrated further down her body, only to rest at the freckles between her breasts. 

 

Tessa exhaled deeply and ran her hand through the back of Scott’s hair. “Isn’t that what you said at midnight?” She daringly said, a glimmer in her eye. Her hands migrated to either side of the band of his boxers, her index fingers slipping under the band. 

 

He lifted his head up, only slightly to glance at her. “Yes, but who is to say you can’t celebrate several times?” Scott grinned, before latching his mouth around one of her pebbled nipples.

 

She let out a gasp at the sudden feeling of his tongue tracing over the tip of her nipple, trying her best to remain as quiet as possible. She struggled for control, once she felt his other hand pinching and teasing her nipple. After several minutes of Scott fondling her breasts and soft moans escaping her mouth did she start tugging on Scott’s hair begging for more of his touch.

 

“What do do you want?” He whispered, pulling away from her breasts and meeting her green eyes. 

 

“You know, you know,” said Tessa slightly out of breathe. 

 

“Oh, do I now?”

 

“Mhmm,” She breathed.

 

He pulled off the rest of the covers to leave her fully exposed, licking his lips, before placing them on her own. Only then did he twist her lower body so it was at the edge of the bed. His hand gently stroked her through her folds causing her breath to hitch, as she peered at him. Scott slowly knelt to the ground, grabbing her hips and tugging them so she was even closer to him.

 

“Please,” She whined craving his touch.

 

Scott continued his smirk, moving his head between her legs. Teasingly, he lightly touched her clit with the tip of his tongue, feeling her already shudder at the sensation. A whine escaped her lips, once he ran his tongue from her entrance to her clit. 

 

His tongue made slow light movements around her clit, tasting her growing wetness. Scott knew her, knew that she was holding back loud moans from the way her breath hitched and her fingers curled into the bedsheets attempting to contain herself. His lips moved back on top of her clit, taking the entire thing in his mouth and sucking on it. 

 

“Yes, Scott, just like that,” She cried, but immediately covered her mouth with her hand. She knew they had to be quiet, which was almost impossible with the amount of pleasure she was feeling right now.

 

“Babe, try to be quiet,” Scott warned. He chuckled when he saw her red flushed face grab a pillow and hold it over her mouth to contain the moans to just this room.

 

He inserted his index finger into her entrance, immediately feeling her hips buck upwards at the sensation. Only to withdraw one finger and place another one in, feeling her body stretch with his fingers in there. Scott continued to move his fingers inside of her, finding the spot that made her squirm in the bed. Smiling at the state of Tessa’s arousal, he latched his mouth back on her clit and hummed against it bringing her close to release.

 

Scott knew she was close, knew from the erratic sounds of her breathing and the way her walls seemed to clamp around his fingers. She squirmed slightly in bed, the whites of her knuckles noticeable from how hard she clutched onto the bed sheets. It was then that he drew his mouth away from her and stared up at her. “Come for me, Tess,” He whispered to her.

 

Those words were enough for Tessa to reach her climax. The moan caught in the back of her throat as she opened up her mouth in an “o” shape, her eyes widening before they glossed over. Once he knew that the climax was over her withdrew his fingers from her and gave her womanhood one last kiss before standing up and hovering over her. 

 

“Happy birthday, T,” He whispered kissing her, with the taste of her still in his mouth.

 

She pulled away first from the kiss stroking the side of his face. “Now that was worth waking up for.”

 

* * *

 

“Alright, kiddo, let me put the final touches on the icing before you decorate. Sound like a good plan?” said Scott, dipping the spatula in the icing container and slathering it over top of the rectangular cake. 

 

“Yes!”

 

Ella stood next to him on a stool watching how precisely he coated the cake, with Sir Bunchkins propped against the flour canister. The two of them had spent the entire morning after their walk preparing Tessa’s cake for her birthday. They wanted this birthday to be special this year, especially after Ella informed Scott that Tessa didn’t get any birthday cake and only a few gifts last year. 

 

This year, Scott was determined to make it even better.

 

Scott’s attention remained focused on the cake, but he was well aware of the creeping finger towards the icing container. “No, kiddo, no icing just yet. After I’m done you can have the rest of the can,” chuckled Scott causing Ella to wrinkle her nose and cross her arms against her chest. 

 

“Unfair,” pouted Ella.

 

“Life is unfair sometimes,” stated Scott. He dipped the spatula in the container one last time to ice the edges. 

 

Ella sighed and rested her elbows on the counter, leaning forward to look at Scott. “Did you get Mommy flowers?” 

 

“Yes, they should be here soon. Got her a spring bouquet, and made sure some peonies were in them. Does that sound like something she would like?” 

 

“What are p--peo--?” asked Ella tilting her head to the side and struggling to say the word. Her brow wrinkled up in in confusion. “Daddy got her roses.”

 

Scott glanced over at Ella after he finished smoothing out the top of the cake. “Peonies? They are a different type of flower. Your Mommy really loves them, well, at least she did before she met your Daddy.”

 

“Did you get her peonies before?” asked Ella, continuing to stumble over the word “peonies”.

 

“Before your Daddy? Yeah, I did quite a lot especially when her legs were hurting from the skating,” He said thinking about all of the memories associated with them, “ they always made her smile.”

 

“Why not roses?”

 

Scott swallowed, “Because roses are special between your Mommy and Daddy.” 

 

“So peonies are special between you and Mommy,” stated Ella, a matter-of-factly.

 

Scott stared at the little girl for awhile, silently agreeing with her. He placed the spatula in the sink and look at Ella, who was now licking her lips and eying the remaining chocolate icing in the container. He laughed, as he walked over to the drawer and grabbed a spoon for her. Luckily there was enough left to satisfy Ella, but not too much that would make her get hyper.

 

He handed her the spoon and icing, watching her face light up. Scott lifted her up and let her sit on the counter, as he began washing some of the dirty kitchen items, smiling at Ella’s happiness. She immediately dove the spoon in the container, squealing in delight as the sweetness touched her taste buds. 

 

“That was always your mommy’s favorite part too,” said Scott. He continued cleaning up the kitchen while talking Ella licked the icing off the spoon. Ella began asking questions about Scott’s favorite things, in which he happily answered until the doorbell rang interrupting their conversation. He knew that it was the flowers being delivered for Tessa. “When I come back let’s decorate, okay?” 

 

Ella nodded as Scott walked out of the kitchen to answer the door, with Rufus following him. When he opened up the door he was greeted by a large bouquet of flowers, smiling instantly when he saw them. It was the perfect blend of spring flowers in soft pinks and purple flowers. She was going to love it.

 

When he headed back into the kitchen he saw the chocolate all over Ella’s face. The empty container and spoon sat on the counter, while she stared at the different color sprinkles in front of her. He placed the flowers on the kitchen counter and turned on the sink to dampen a washcloth, while Ella grabbed the purple and pink sprinkles and placed them in front of the cake. 

 

“These two,” said Ella nodding her head.

 

“Pink and purple? Perfect, she’ll love it,” said Scott, squeezing the excess water out of the washcloth. He moved it over towards Ella and she barely flinched when he started wiping away the chocolate from Ella’s face. Once she was cleaned, he helped take the plastic wrap off of the sprinkles and the birthday candles. 

 

After the cake was decorated, Scott took out the lighter and lit the “three” and “six” on the cake then gestured to Ella to lead the way up the stairs. She grabbed the handmade card off the counter and raced up the stairs, while Scott slowly followed her making sure the candles wouldn’t blow out or the cake would fall off the platter. 

 

Ella thumped up the stairs loudly, the thought of being discreet far from the four-year-old’s mind. She grabbed onto the door handle of the bedroom and paused, waiting for Scott to reach the top of the stairs. As soon as both feet hit the top step, he signalled to Ella to open up the door. 

 

The door flung open and Ella skipped into the room. “Mommy! Wake up. It is your birthday! Happy Birthday!” Ella flung herself onto the end of the bed and bounced up and down, while Tessa smiled and opened up her eyes to gaze at her daughter. 

 

“Thank you sweetheart. I love you,” said Tessa.

 

“You will love us even more now! Scott, come in!” shouted Ella.

 

Tessa raised her brows and then looked towards the door where Scott was walking in holding a cake. Her mouth opened slightly, as she saw the grins on both of their faces, taken aback by the thoughtfulness. “Scott, Ella--” She said, not knowing what more to say to them.

 

Scott looked at Ella, “ready, kiddo? One, two, three . . . Happy Birthday,” He started to sing, slowly waiting for Ella to join in.

 

“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Mommy. Happy birthday to you,” they both sung together, as Scott appeared next to the side of Tessa’s bed grinning at her boldly.

 

Tessa was on the brink of tears, when he set the tray containing the lit cake in front of her. Ella sat on the bed on the other side of Tessa, while Scott crouched down next to her. Tessa’s hand was clasped over her mouth as she looked between Scott and Ella, and then at the homemade cake decorated by the two of them.

 

“Make a wish, T,” said Scott squeezing her arm.

 

She smiled at Scott, then looked over at Ella who continued to bounce up and down on the bed. Tessa closed her eyes and thought about the multitude of things that she could wish for. She could wish for the cliche things like traveling the world, getting a new designer handbag, or getting to spend the day surrounded by the people she loves, never truly knowing what she wanted.

 

Instead this year was different. She knew what she wanted, she wanted this. She wanted many more moments like this and memories to be created between Ella and Scott. Tessa opened up her momentarily, stared at the candles flickering in front of her, and then blew them out to hear Scott and Ella clapping.

 

“I made you a card too, Mommy,” said Ella handing her the piece of paper she had temporarily forgotten about.

 

Tessa took the piece of paper and looked at the card Ella had made. It was a drawing of the three of them plus Rufus, with a lot of hearts and xoxo’s surrounding them. At the very bottom of the page, Ella had written out her name. Tessa continued smiling and looked over at Ella, stroking her hair. “This is beautiful, Ella. You did an amazing job.”

 

“I wanted to draw my family,” She said, “because this is my family.”

 

* * *

 

“Wait, I want to stop in there before we get lunch,” said Tessa pointing to the Adidas store on Queen’s Street in Downtown Toronto. She migrated closer to the store door and adjusted her heavy purse on her arm, while looking back at Jordan and her mother.

 

“Tess, seriously? We shopped till we dropped already and you got two bags of Zara stuff. How do you still have the energy to try on clothes?” said Jordan swinging her Zara bag back and forth, and glancing at Kate. “Mom, what time did you make the reservations at Alo for?”

 

Kate sighed and moved over to the side on the busy streets in Toronto to glance at her phone. “We still have about an hour, so if Tess wants to look in at Adidas to get a few more items for herself for her birthday then. That’s fine with me.”

 

Tessa smiled and shook her head, knowing that Jordan was starving and exhausted from the amount of walking and shopping they had conquered in the city so far today. It was a week following her birthday and the Virtue women decided to get some much needed retail therapy in, that required hitting up luxury brand shops in York and then taking the subway to Queens. 

 

Kate and Tessa had taken the early morning train into the city, while Scott stayed back with Ella claiming he would plan a fun day with her. He had plans to take Ella to the rink to practice her skating, before the summer skate camp began, and then go out to lunch with his parents. 

 

“What more do you need in this store?” asked Jordan as soon as they walked into the store and were greeted by one of the workers. “I’m pretty sure you have enough Adidas outfits to last you for the rest of your life.”

 

Tessa laughed and shook her head. “Jo, it isn’t for me. It is for Ella. She is so excited about the skate camp starting in a couple weeks, I thought I would surprise her with a few cute outfits.” 

 

She walked past the women’s and men’s clothes and headed towards the little kids section. Jordan and Kate followed behind her, with Kate pausing to lift one of the blush pink tracksuits off the rack, feeling the material and checking the price. 

 

“I think she would love that,” said Kate smiling over at Tessa. “How about this for her? Get the jacket and matching leggings.”

 

“She will love that,” replied Tessa, watching her mom go through the rack to get the right sizes. She turned and started heading towards the sweatshirts, biting her lip and figuring out what color Ella would like best.

 

Jordan followed closely behind Tessa looking at the options. She picked up a cute light blue sweatshirt with matching leggings, a smile spreading across her face when she visualized her niece with them on. Of course Tessa would want her daughter sporting the same type of gear on the ice like she did. Jordan shook her head and rolled her eyes, then looked at the price tag figuring she would buy it for Ella as well.

 

Tessa walked up to her mom and sister a few minutes later with a stack of clothing for Ella, a wide grin on her face. “Is it bad that I spoil my child with clothes?” She giggled, adjusting her arms underneath the clothes. 

 

“Considering how well-mannered she is, I don’t think it is a problem,” laughed Jordan.

 

The three of them headed to the checkout, with Tessa grabbing two packs of mens socks on her way to the line. The last time she did laundry she noticed that some of Scott’s socks were getting thin in the heel and some had small holes near the toes. Knowing Scott he would wait until the last sock was unrescuable before he would hurriedly rush to the store to buy some more.

 

Jordan gave her a side eye and cleared her throat. She stared at the ground at her feet, rocking back and forth as they stood in line. “Scott can’t buy his own socks?” She said, trying her best to contain her uncertainty about it all.

 

Tessa flushed slightly and shrugged. “He wears socks until they are completely worn down. I can’t tell you how many times after practice he would take off his skates and there was a hole in the toes,” smoothly replied Tessa.

 

“That’s very . . . domestic of you,” Jordan responded, attempting to sound supportive.

 

Tessa silently agreed and cleared her throat, slightly inching her way closer to the cashiers. “How are you and Dax doing? You said you were nervous that you were meeting his kids and everything.”

 

“Good, really good,” grinned Jordan, “I was a bit worried how the kids would react meeting the first serious girlfriend since the divorce, but they were great. I really do a see a future with him.”

 

“I would love to get to see more of him,” said Tessa smiling, “next time I’m in Toronto we could meet up for lunch?”

 

After Jordan’s last split, she had taken it hard and had sworn off dating men. She claimed that she would rather live a life single than deal with shitty men, who weren’t ready for marriage when they were nearly forty. Then just like that, Dax came along and changed her entire life. He had been divorced for several years, had three kids, and was looking to settle down with someone. And if Tessa could predict, Jordan would be that someone.

 

“That would be great, Tess. He would really like that.”

 

The three of them were soon being seated at an upscale French restaurant in Toronto, all of them breathing out a sigh of relief once they sat down and placed their shopping bags underneath the table. They clinked their wine classes together to celebrate the successful girls day, with Tessa making sure to indulge herself in a belated birthday lunch with her family. She enjoyed the time away from home, basking in the old times where it was just the three of them. 

 

They didn’t speak for several minutes once the food arrived and they basked in the rich taste of it. Tessa’s eyes nearly rolled to the back of her head as soon as the tender beef touched her tongue, taking the time to savor each bite. She didn’t notice the silent exchanges Jordan and Kate were doing until she looked over at them, when she reached for her red wine. 

 

“Everything okay?” asked Tessa, before taking a sip.

 

Jordan stared at their mother for awhile, before dabbing at the corners of her mouth with the napkin and taking a drink of her water. She looked over at Tessa with a sort of grimace, hesitant to bring up this particular subject. “Well, since Mom is reluctant to bring this up, I guess I will have to,” She gave Kate a pointed look, “We were just wondering how things are going with Scott? Casey mentioned how he watched Ella the other night,” said Jordan calmly.

 

Tessa immediately felt her cheeks flush, as she picked up her fork and knife to cut the next piece of meat. “Things are going well. He has helped out a lot around the house and it is nice to have that extra company,” She said.

 

“Well, that is great to hear. I know that you were wondering if you needed to hire someone to do some minor repairs around you place,” said Kate.

 

“Scott rebuilt one of the flower bed walls the other week while I was working,” smiled Tessa, “I told you that we are expanding a bit of my line at Hillberg and Berk again, right?”

 

Kate smiled and placed her fork down after finishing her salad. “Yes, you did. It is great that you are still working with them years later. Do you know when the next line will be released?”

 

“I think late summer it will be released. Then I have to go to Ottawa because of the collaboration of athletic clothes for the extension of FitSpirit,” continued Tessa trying to distract them from what they wanted to know.

 

Tessa knew she needed to tell them, she just didn’t know how to. The last thing she wanted to do was cause a scene, especially with Jordan’s more explosive reaction. 

 

“The portions of the proceeds go towards funding for girls sports team, yes?” said Kate unbothered at the change of topic.

 

Tessa nodded her head while chewing her food, not daring to look over at Jordan. She swallowed and placed her silverware on the plate, taking another sip of wine. “Yes. It is nice to still be involved and know that I’m still helping people even after retiring from skating, you know?” 

 

Kate and Tessa continued talking about the various projects Tessa had coming up, which in retrospect didn’t feel like much compared to what she used to do while skating. They talked about Ella’s upcoming dance recital and Tessa gave the dates for the first day of Ella’s skate camp, saying that she and Scott were taking Ella to the rink several times to practice. 

 

As soon as Scott’s name came out of Tessa’s mouth, Jordan saw her opportunities. “So what are you and Scott? Best friends? Ex lovers? Former business partners? Bandmates? I could keep going on, but it would be best if you just told me.” 

 

Tessa coughed on a piece of potato, then grabbed for her water to clear her throat. 

 

Jordan smirked, ignoring the narrowed eyes from her mother. “Well, are you going to tell us or do we keep guessing?”

 

“Well, I was going to come up with a better way to ease this topic into conversation, but I guess I have no choice,” Tessa nervously twisted the two silver rings on her middle finger. “Scott and I are together.”

 

“Together as in?”

 

“Boyfriend and girlfriend,” said Tessa completely bashful.

 

Kate and Jordan raised their eyebrows, with Jordan starting to stab her food on the plate. “Better than bandmates, I guess,” muttered Jordan.

 

Meanwhile their mother remained silent but perplexed, waiting for Tessa to continue.

 

“We are taking it slow, and hardly anyone knows. We haven’t told Ella, just yet, but once we reach a later stage then we will,” continued Tessa, “I know neither of you are that thrilled, but I finally feel happy again. The only thing I ask is for you to be supportive and at least give him another chance.”

 

“You’re really happy?” asked Kate.

 

“Yeah, we are. He loves Ella as if she is his own and I know we love each other,” candidly said Tessa, letting her heart flutter at the thought of Scott and Ella interacting. “Things are just different this time. We are older and have already been married to others, and I have Ella. I wouldn’t jump into another relationship if I knew that there was no way it would work out.”

 

“You do realize he is your kryptonite, right?” said Jordan.

 

Tessa remained quiet and bit her lip.

 

“Jordan,” warned Kate, “Tess, honey, of course I’ll be happy for you. I trust you, and I can tell that you are the happiest you have been in awhile. You deserve to find someone that will love you and Ella after Mark. I’m just a bit surprised it is him again.”

 

“He was going to stay in some way or another,” Tessa said smiling at the memory, “And somewhere along the way, when I found the courage to open my heart again, I completely fell for him. He’s Scott, he has always been my Scott.”

 

Kate smiled and then looked over at Jordan, whose tense body pressure had relaxed. Jordan licked her lips and took a long drink of wine, then reached over to touch Tessa’s arm. “If he really makes you happy, then I’m happy for you, but I need to see him again. See the three of you together to give me a peace of mind, you know?”

 

“I know,” softly said Tessa.

 

“I am acting this way because you’re my baby sister and I want to protect you. You know that, right?” said Jordan.

 

“Of course, Jo. I love you for that.”

 

“Love you too, Tess. Love you too,” said Jordan giving Tessa a hug.

 

* * *

 

June came faster than Tessa thought and soon enough her and Scott were taking Ella to her first skating camp. They walked towards the doors of the Ilderton ice rink, with Ella up on Scott’s shoulders pointing towards the other little boys and girls asking if she would be skating with them. Tessa walked next to them carrying the skate bags and Ella’s coat, smiling at the joy on Ella’s face.

 

They walked into the rink and Scott waved towards Cara briefly, who was talking to a mother and daughter duo. He led Ella towards one of the empty benches and effortlessly lifted her off his shoulders. She bounced up and down on the bench, swinging her legs and proudly showing off the Adidas track outfit Kate had bought for her.

 

Tessa smiled and placed the skate bag down on the ground and opened it to dig out Ella’s small skates, that Scott had sharpened yesterday in the shop. “Alright let’s get these on before we get you out on the ice. Do you see Carol out there?” said Tessa pointing towards Carol, before crouching down.

 

“Yeah. Is she teaching me?” asked Ella.

 

“Yes her and Cara,” said Scott. He sat down next to Ella on the bench, watching Tessa put the skates on Ella’s feet. “Are you excited to meet all of your new friends?”

 

“Yeah! This is how you and Mommy met, right?”

 

Tessa looked up from tying the first set of laces to look at Scott and smile. “Well, we were a little bit older than you, but we met in this very place.” Tessa gazed around the ice realizing that it still felt the same as it did over twenty years ago.

 

“Then you won, a lot,” said Ella.

 

“That we did,” grinned Scott watching Tessa stand up from tying Ella’s laces and removing her skate guards. He stood up from the bench and lifted Ella up, helping her stead on her feet. “Alright, kiddo. Ready to go?” 

 

Ella nodded and turned towards Tessa. “Bye Mommy. I love you! I promise I won’t fall!” She hugged Tessa’s legs and Tessa laughed, rubbing Ella’s back. 

 

“I’ll be watching you. Have fun, okay?” 

 

Ella waved towards Tessa, before holding Scott’s hand and walking towards the ice. Tessa watched from afar, after gathering up Ella’s belongings in the skate bag. She smiled at Scott talking to some other parents, even bending down to help secure the laces on a little boy’s skates. 

 

Her heart felt warm and fuzzy at the sight and Tessa began walking towards the bleachers to find a spot near the center to observe. She took out her phone to text her mom where they would be sitting, only to suddenly swing her head upwards at Scott walking on the ice in his running shoes towards Carol with Ella skating on her own beside him. Both of them laughing, while Carol was shaking her head in the center of the ice at the goofy grin on his face.

 

Tessa took a picture of them and then resumed reading through messages on her phone, waiting for the class to start, when she felt the family warmth slide in beside her. She glanced up and smiled at Scott, letting him thread his fingers through hers.

 

“So, what are the odds she will be the first kid in her class to fall?” asked Scott.

 

“From your tone you are making it seem like this is a trick question.”

 

“Well, your answer dictates how you view my coaching ability. So I can’t help but feel a bit under pressure,” He laughed squeezing her hand.

 

Tessa put her phone in her purse and turned to face him more directly, after glancing at Carol and Cara talking to Ella’s age group. “Oh then definitely the first to fall,” She mischievously grinned.

 

He pouted pretending to be hurt, which only caused her to giggle.

 

“She will be the last to fall because she was taught by a great coach,” said Tessa.

 

“Now that is the answer I like,” Scott said giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

 

They watched the kids start doing slow circles around the cones to the children’s music. Chuckling at the obvious leader of the bunch who was bossing others around while showing off her skating skills. Meanwhile, Ella slowly skated in the back of the group talking to Cara who was right by her side. 

 

They talked about their memories skating here together, while Scott shared the times Danny and Charlie chased him across the ice. They laughed and smiled tuning out the others around them, realizing that even in the stands in the ice rink they could go to that world where it was just the two of them.

 

As the kids were taking a break, Tessa turned directly towards Scott. “So, I have a proposition for you.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Canada Day.”

 

He raised an eyebrow. “What about it?”

 

“Well, I was thinking that if you aren’t busy you can come with me and Ella to the cottage. Everyone will be there and I think that--”

 

“Yes,” He cut her off smiling, “I would love that.”

 

She smiled back at him, “Good because I don’t want to lose that time spent with you before you go back.”

Scott frowned slightly at the thought of going back. After the long weekend he would only have a week left before he had to go back to Montreal. Training would be resuming and now that two of his teams were moving up to seniors, it was a whole new ball game. He swallowed the lump in his throat and gave Tessa a sad smile. “Remember when we thought these months would last forever?”

 

“Don’t say that now,” whispered Tessa, “we still have a month left. We will figure out where to go from there.”

 

“We do need to have that conversation,” said Scott.

 

“I know, but for now let’s just enjoy the little life we have together.”

 

She rested her head on his shoulder, gazing out at Ella who was working on her snow plough stops on the ice. Both knew that these past few months were too good to be true and they had bigger things to figure out like what would happen to them when the distance was put between them. 

 

Distance tore them apart once; would it happen again? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed!
> 
> I spent this past weekend writing away on my computer to get this chapter up for you sooner rather than later. It is hard to believe there are 8 chapters to go, which seems like a lot, but in retrospect it will be here before we know it. 
> 
> Thank you for the support, kudos, and comments. :)


	21. Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa, Scott, and Ella head to the Virtue cottage for the long weekend. Many necessary conversations are held.

“Okay bags are in your car, are you ready to--” Scott froze in the back doorway, immediately frowning when he saw only one of the two Virtue girls.

What else could she have actually forgotten?

The past hour had consisted of her newly developed, and slightly erratic, packing regiment, that rendered Scott exhausted just by watching. This routine consisted of Tessa zipping up her duffle bag, looking satisfied, and then thinking to pack something else. One time it was medicine (Benadryl, in case Ella had a reaction to the mosquitos), another time an extra pair of socks for the cooler nights (in which she said, “Scott, you know how easily my feet get cold”), and then an extra swimsuit since three weren’t enough.

Scott had laid on the bed and rubbed his eyes, silently waiting for her to give him the cue that she was ready to go. The signal did come, after many rounds of trial and error. A cue that sprung Scott from the bed, to do the honors of carrying the now-heavy duffle down the stairs to place it in the trunk of her SUV. Scott assumed she had packed everything when he exited the house and heard Tessa hollering that she only needed to put on her shoes and grab her purse.

Yet, somehow in the minute, it took to put the final things in the car, she had disappeared.

Scott pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut suppressing any ounce of annoyance. He had been up since five a.m., helping out with the inventory arrivals at the shop and dropping off Rufus at his parents. He worked efficiently to get the jobs done, knowing he couldn't be late. Especially after he listened Tessa emphasize the importance to leave no later than ten-thirty.

It was now pushing eleven.

He sighed and looked over at Ella who was humming a tune and playing a dress-up game on her iPad. She swung her legs on the back bench, patiently waiting for the signal to get in the car and leave for the cottage. Apparently, she had grown accustomed to the late departures. Ella glanced over at Scott, sensing his current state of impatience, and gave him a small smile.

“Mommy said she will be right back,” said Ella. She exited out of the game and carefully placed her iPad in her backpack. She slid off the bench and zipped up the backpack, before putting her arms through the loops.

“At least you’re ready to go.”

Ella nodded, “yes for like ever. Poppy is already there and is going in the boat with Uncle Kevin and Uncle Casey!” She lightly stomped her foot and crossed her arms against the chest, while scowling at the ground.

“Well be happy your Mommy is letting me drive because if she were driving, it would take even longer,” chuckled Scott. His gaze shifted towards the hallway that led to the upstairs, then to his watch, realizing that they needed to leave if Tessa wanted to get there before lunch.

“Can we leave without her?” asked Ella.

Scott smirked and shook his head, staring down the hallway that led to the staircase. “Afraid not, kiddo. We are kind of stuck with her. Speaking of which,” He then rose his voice, directing it towards the staircase, “hey Tess! Are you getting ready for a red carpet event or what?”

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” She called back, her feet hurriedly thumping down the stairs. “I realized I got a bit of makeup on my dress and needed to change it.”

Tessa emerged into the kitchen, her head looking down in her purse. She ran through her mental checklist of items in her purse (a habit which she developed at a young age), not noticing the way Scott’s body language changed when he saw the outfit change.

Her skin had tanned slightly already, bringing out the freckles that Scott adored. Her hair was lightly curled and flowing halfway down her back. The jade green eyes filled with happiness when she finally lifted her head to look at Scott and Ella.

It was almost as if she had transformed into an angel, from the way she carried herself fluidly through simple movements or the way her bright smile was enough to alter any negativity in the world. This was his Tessa, his Tessa that he had the privilege of growing up next to, the girl that he accomplished his biggest dreams with.

She was beautiful all the time, even when she was wearing old sweatpants, her hair in a messy bun, and face bare. Yet, there was something about her appearance today. Something about the color of her sundress and how she presented herself that triggered a part of Scott . . .

Tessa was a vision in white.

It wasn’t as if he had never seen Tessa in white before. There was the first skating performance when she wore the symbolic Moir ice dance costume or the Mahler dress that they won their first Olympic medal in. Then there were the sponsorships and events they did together, some of which she opted for a white dress. Yet those were the moments that dealt with their skating career; the times outside of that skating bubble were different...very different.

 

* * *

 

_The last time he had seen her in all white it had been her wedding day._

_Scott had gotten himself into his suit, and stood at one of the mirrors to fix his messy hair. He tried not to think about the man in the room marrying a woman he still loved. Scott tried to pretend that everything was okay, and he was just as excited as all the other groomsmen. He hated lying, he hated faking happiness, but today he had no choice. Scott had an obligation to Mark, but especially to Tessa, the girl he loved more than anything else._

_Any ordinary person would chase after the bride, tell her not to marry the other guy. It would be foolish not to, but there was a problem in implementing this worthy rom-com fantasy when it came to Scott’s case. He respected Mark. Scott saw the care and love Mark had for Tessa, and Scott knew Tessa reciprocated the same feelings towards Mark. It was evident to any person that observed Mark and Tessa. They were soulmates more ways than one._

_When Tessa told Scott she was engaged to Mark, he accepted it immediately. She was finding happiness, and he needed to let her go. It was a way of cementing the” just friends” boundary. Yet, something was different about today, it must have been the sudden realization that this would indeed be it. He was unsettled and restless ever since last night,, and spent all of this morning with the groom and the groomsmen feeling nauseous_

_“I need some fresh air, I'll be right back,” Scott announced, leaving the room before anyone responded. The crispy, spring air hit his face soon after leaving, and he felt his body let out the breath he was inadvertently holding. It didn't help the feeling of drowning._

_He walked around the grounds of the venue, all of which was privately rented out for Tessa’s dream wedding. His hands were buried in his pockets, his gaze traveling around where the workers were setting up the seating for the ceremony as Scott strolled past. The wedding coordinator was dropping the rose petals down the aisle, giving it that extra touch of romance. The classic wedding mixed with romance just screamed Tessa...he could only imagine how particular she was with the entire planning process._

_Scott approached one of the walkways opposite from where the groomsmen room was and stood in place trying to keep his thoughts at bay. He tried not to let the “what if” thoughts cloud his mind, but it seemed inevitable. What if things had worked out for him and Tessa? Would they be married and starting a family? He sighed and shook his head, trying to let the thoughts escape._

_“Don’t you have a wedding to get ready for?” called a voice._

_Scott squinted into the sunlight, as he looked up to the second-floor balcony. Tessa stood by the railing, in her white bridal robe. Her hair was done and twisted in a whimsical, loose updo. She smiled down at him and let out her soft, raspy giggle._

_“I could say the same for you,” He called back. “Are you walking down the aisle in a robe? New fashion trend, T?”_

_He heard her laugh echo from down above, as she shook her head. “It’s a bit chaotic in there, I needed some fresh air. Mom is obsessing over little things, and Jordan is arguing with everyone.”_

_“Ah, the most typical Virtue moments, I see.”_

_“Of course, do you expect anything else?”_

_Scott shook his head. “No, I don’t. Some things never change.”_

_They remained silent and stared at each other. The longing desire building in Scott, wanting more than anything to tell her every feeling. He wanted her to know that he still was in love with her, that he even saw a future with her. That he was planning on proposing to her before things fell apart._

_He knew he couldn’t say anything. Not now, not when she was completely happy and in love with Mark. The wedding of dreams was paid for in full, relatives and friends came in from all over the world, and she was radiating happiness. He couldn’t ruin her day._

_“Scott,” said Tessa, resting both of her elbows on the balcony and leaning over, “Can I ask you something?”_

_“Yeah, of course,” He said feeling a lump forming in the back of his throat._

_She looked down at her fingers, fiddling with the engagement ring.“If things were diff—“_

_They were suddenly interrupted when the door swung open, with Liz emerging on the balcony. She touched Tessa’s shoulder and yanked her upright, laughing and smiling. “Come on, Tess, it is finally time to get into your wedding dress!” Liz squealed._

_“I'll be right there,” smiled Tessa at Liz, then looked down at Scott once again. “See you when I’m heading down the aisle?”_

_The words hit Scott hard, and his heart dropped, as he watched Tessa turn around and start heading into the bridal suite. He took several steps forward, to get closer to the balcony and looked upward. “Hey, Tess,” Scott called._

_She paused in the doorway and turned around, making eye contact with him as Liz disappeared into the room._

_“You look beautiful already. Mark is one lucky guy,” He said, trying his best to suppress his own vulnerability and be happy for her._

_Scott could tell by the way her face softened, and a slight blush arose on Tessa’s face that his comment touched her. Her hands gripped the handle on the door, gazing into his eyes. “You don’t look so bad yourself,” Tessa replied._

_“Because of you,” He chuckled looking down at his suit,, “you know what’s in style. I do not.”_

_Tessa stared at him for a while, a glint in her eye when she responded. “You’re still handsome no matter what you wear.”_

_“Even if it is my ratty black shorts and faded Canada shirt?”_

_Tessa laughed then gave him a sad smile, “always.”_

_They stared at each other both consumed by their emotions. Scott wanted to know what Tessa would ask him, wanted to know what life would be like if they worked through their problems. He got the diamond from Kate for a reason, spend hours fretting over the custom setting, and asked for opinions from everyone he trusted. It had all gone to waste in a blink of an eye. Tessa was not his bride, she was someone else’s._

_“Tessa! Come on! With how many buttons are on this gown we need to get you in!” yelled Jordan._

_Tessa looked at Scott one last time, before disappearing into the bridal suite. Scott sighed and kicked a few stray rocks on the sidewalk, suddenly not caring if he scratched up his polished shoes._

_He began walking back inside the venue, only to be greeted by Jordan, who stood on the bottom step. They eyed each other for a while before Jordan let out a long sigh and stepped down to walk towards him.“Are you okay?” She whispered, touching Scott’s arm._

_“Don’t you have buttons to help with on T’s dress?” asked Scott avoiding eye contact._

_“Mom and Kelly are doing that,” said Jordan, “but you didn’t answer my question.”_

_“I’m fine.”_

_“I may not know you as well as Tess, but I can tell when you’re lying.”_

_He swallowed and finally met Jordan’s eyes. “I thought it would be us.” He was able to contain his emotion in his tone, but that didn’t stop the burning sensation brewing in his eyes._

_Jordan gave him a small smile and squeezed his arm. “I know, I think we all did. That’s why Mom gave you Grandma’s diamond.”_

_Scott sighed and shook his head, trying to keep himself contained. “I guess it wasn’t meant to be. She’s happy, she glows when she is around Mark … I can’t ruin that for her.”_

_“You are still in love with her, aren’t you?”_

_“How can you not be in love with Tessa Virtue?” Scott whispered._

_“A part of her will always love you too, Scott, that won’t change. But you’ll find someone too, you’ll fall in love again.”_

_Scott nodded slowly, “I hope so.”_

_Jordan gave him a smile then pulled Scott into a hug. She reassured him that Tessa will always be there for him, that her marrying someone else would not change the past twenty years. Scott tried taking in the words Jordan was saying but knew everything would change. The sinking feeling of drowning still in his stomach, as he continued to suppress any sobs._

_He didn’t know how long he stood hugging Jordan, but she pulled away when she heard her name being called._

_“If it’s any consolation, I don’t think she’s changing her last name. She will forever be a Virtue. Forever your Virtue,” said Jordan, before disappearing upstairs._

* * *

The reality back then was heart-wrenching. He remembered holding back tears when she walked down the aisle and repeated the vows to Mark. All hope felt like it was lost that day, but he knew that he had to be happy for Tessa. Although that didn’t prevent a photo taken from the photographer of everyone in the wedding party smiling and looking at Mark and Tessa, while Scott’s head was turned looking in the opposite direction. He knew people claimed it was rude, and rumors started about how he hated Mark. Like the majority of assumptions on social media, they were wrong. He had been holding back tears, overcome with emotion that he knew would break when Scott looked at Mark and Tessa.

It hurt to see her marry someone else when it should have been them. In the end, they decided to not try again in their relationship, and she chose to marry someone else she was madly in love with. He did the exact same with Kaylie. Scott never thought he would have a chance with her again, despite that part of his heart loving her years after they were over.

But in some twisted, fucked-up way life had given them another chance.

And now, now that she stood in her kitchen in white again did it bring back the certainty he felt that she would be walking down the aisle again. This time Scott wouldn’t be the groomsman watching the ceremony take place, this time he would be the groom marrying Tessa. Scott was confident they would get their happy ending, and solidify themselves as a family. It was just another matter of time, for making sure they were ready for that next step.

He stood there not breaking his gaze from her, rendered speechless.

“Ready to go?” asked Tessa looking between Scott and Ella.

“Mommy you look pretty!” said Ella enthusiastically running towards Tessa to hug her legs. “Doesn’t she Scott?”

Scott swallowed and managed to catch his breath. “She does, Ella, she certainly does.”

* * *

“Can we get Timmy’s?” asked Ella, as soon as Scott began backing the car out of the driveway. She leaned as forward as possible in her booster seat, pouting her bottom lip and looking between Scott and Tessa. “Please, please, please.”

Tessa placed her lip balm back in her purse and turned around, giving Ella a small smile. “I thought you wanted to get to the cottage right away to go tubing with Poppy?”

Ella leaned back in her seat and shrugged. “Well, then I wanted a donut.”

Scott chuckled as he turned onto one of the main roads in London. “Let me guess, a chocolate one with sprinkles?”

“Mhmmm!” She licked her lips at the thought of the donut, continuing to swing her legs. “Please Mommy? We always get Timmy’s when we go to the cottage.”

Tessa sighed and looked at Ella’s pleading puppy-dog eyes. “Scott, do you mind if we stop?”

“Was already planning on stopping on our way out of town,” He grinned, listening to Ella’s squeal from the backseat. “Besides, Ella needs something Poppy doesn’t have. Right, kiddo?”

“Yeah Poppy doesn’t have Timmy’s today!”

“And we have to be better than Poppy. It would be a catastrophe if we aren’t!” exclaimed Scott.

Tessa laughed at both of their ridiculousness, and how dramatic Scott and Ella could be together. “Pushover,” teased Tessa, nudging his arm, before turning up the tunes on the radio.

He turned his head momentarily to grin at her. “What can I say? My weakness is the Virtue women,” He winked, only to cause Tessa’s laughter to continue.

Minutes later the three of them were enjoying their Tim’s, with Tessa boldly admitting to Ella and Scott that this was a great idea. Tessa sipped her coffee and grabbed a Timbit out of hers and Scott’s shared box. Ella sat in the backseat munching on her sprinkle donut while untangling her headphones to watch a Barbie movie on her iPad.

The radio was blasting, and the sun was shining on the beautiful summer day in Southern Ontario, as Scott zipped along the highway.

“Is it just me or is the music crap now?” He asked, gesturing towards the radio.

Tessa shrugged, “Everything sounds awful now. We are just old, that’s why.”

“I mean—“

“Don’t say it!” laughed Tessa immediately cutting him off, “I know my music taste has always been—”

Scott joined her laughing, “Like a grandma?”

“Shut up.” She smirked and took another sip of her coffee, watching Scott give a toothy grin in return. “So...how did that call go with Marie-France and Patrice? You said you had a mini-conference call with them before I went into work.”

Scott sighed and rubbed the side of his face, before setting the cruise control and relaxing back in the seat. “Fine, I guess. The entire coaching staff has an upcoming meeting about some changes this season.”

“Changes?” Tessa raised a brow.

“Yeah, not sure what. Doesn’t seem like that big of a deal, Patch was more interested in discussing the teams that just moved up to the senior level. He gave me a list of things I need to work on with them, and it is a lot.”

“When do you leave again?” asked Tessa.

Scott sighed and looked over at her. “In a week and a half because of this meeting.”

Tessa bit her lip and nodded her head, holding back every ounce of emotion. She had become so accustomed to having him there, that it felt almost impossible to imagine her everyday life without him there. She loved falling asleep in his arms and waking up with a sweet kiss on her lips before he would slip out of bed and make her coffee. She loved laughter filling the house when Ella, Rufus, and Scott came back from their walks. Tessa loved a lot of little things in their routine with Scott, but most of all she loved how Scott protected and loved Ella as if she was his own.

Tessa knew this transition with him leaving would be hard, and a part of her wondered how the distance would work this time. It hadn’t in the past, would it happen again? She silently scolded herself, popping another Timbit in her mouth, and diverting her thoughts to the taste and texture of the chocolate glazed goodness.

Scott saw the stiffness and lack of response from Tessa and reached over to grab her hand, immediately threading his fingers between hers. “T, I don’t really want to leave you two,” Scott said.

She swallowed adjusted the sunglasses on her face, wanting to conceal the teary eyes that always seemed to readily occur.

“Talk to me. What’s on your mind?” pressed Scott.

Tessa hesitated momentarily, not wanting to elaborate. She felt the panging sensation in her stomach, a mix of sadness and worry. If the years of therapy had taught her anything, it was to not hold back. “I’m scared about this distance because of last time,” She admitted slowly.

Scott remained silent for several seconds, swallowing and nodding his head. “I know, I am too, but I choose to believe things are different, we are different.”

Tessa agreed, but couldn’t help the sinking sensation of dread in her stomach. “This can’t be forever for us. We can’t live the rest of our lives with this distance if we truly want to be together. We want this, we want us, right?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t, you know that.”

She took another sip of coffee trying to figure out the right words. Tessa wanted to move forward in life with Scott; eventually, she would be ready to marry him and potentially have more kids. This distance felt like a step back in how their relationship had progressed since the skating season ended for him. “How can we continue moving forward if we live in different cities?”

Scott remained quiet, unsure of how to respond.

“I keep thinking about last time, about the strain that we felt. This time is different, this time there is a child involved. A child that loves you and sees you as someone to look up to. This distance is going to hurt her,” continued Tessa.

His thumb rubbed back and forth on the top of her hand. “Every part of me will be in pain when I leave you guys,” whispered Scott, “and I’m leaving the day before the meeting at Gadbois.”

“That doesn’t solve the problem.”

“Kiddo, I don’t want this—”

“Long distance forever won’t work out, at least not right now in our lives. We are getting close to 40, Scott. I don’t know, my brain is flying in a hundred different directions.” She pressed her fingers against her temple and rubbed it, trying to ease herself.

Scott’s heart pounded upon hearing those words from Tessa. He knew that this was going to be hard, and he certainly knew that she was right. “I can look to seeing if my teams can switch to the Toronto Cricket Club, I can work something out with Brian and Tracy.”

“No, you can’t do that,” sighed Tessa. “I don’t want you to sacrifice your career, so maybe we will have to--”

“Tess, no. I know the last thing you want to do is take Ella further away from her family. We will just have to--”

“Figure it out, yeah I know,” said Tessa. She pinched her nose and exhaled, trying to suppress any frustration about the situation. Once again, patterns were repeating itself causing the situation to be less than ideal.

Scott squeezed her hand again causing her to turn her head and look at him through her sunglasses. “I love you so much, you know that, right?”

“I do. You know I love you so much too. ”

“We will figure it out this time, okay? It won’t be a simple or quick fix.”

Tessa sighed, “I know, but it doesn’t make it any easier.”

“I have to go back to work at least for this year with my contract unless I terminate it earlier but who knows the repercussions. Let me get through this year, and I can take a step back and reevaluate signing on again and see where we are,” suggested Scott, despite feeling the pit forming in his stomach.

She tapped her fingers on the side of the coffee cup. Tessa processed what Scott said and frowned, before finishing off the coffee. She swallowed the slightly bitter taste and put her cup in the cupholder, not wanting to continue this conversation. It was getting to be too much, and the last thing she wanted was to dwell on this during their fun family weekend.

“Okay,” replied Tessa.

“Yeah? You can manage that?” He said hopefully.

Tessa swallowed. “Let’s just enjoy this weekend, enjoy the time together, and live in our bubble. Then after this weekend, we can sit down and talk more about how this will work before you leave. We can make this work.”

“Okay, we can do that, T.”

She gave him a small smile, before leaning forward and changing the radio station. Early 2000s pop music began playing in the car causing her to nestle back into the passenger seat. “Now, this is better music. Brings me back to the Canton party days.”

Scott grinned relieved at the change of topic, “who thought it was smart to leave idiot teenagers to train on their own?”

“Our parents,” responded Tessa.

“We were giving ourselves the college years we never had. All those drunken parties at Charlie’s house. Remember that one Halloween party? Charlie and I were Batman and Robin.”

“I certainly do,” amusingly said Tessa, “and so does Twitter.”

Scott groaned and started swearing under his breath, which only caused Tessa to laugh loudly, to the point where she snorted. Ella looked up from her iPad, pausing her movie. She slid off her headphones and listened to Tessa and Scott laughing, before leaning forward and poking Tessa’s arm to disrupt them. “What is so funny, Mommy?”

“Oh, nothing, sweetheart. Scott just made a funny grown-up joke.”

Ella pouted at not being let in on the fun, then saw Scott and Tessa’s hands. “Is that why you are holding hands?”

Tessa and Scott immediately flushed and released each other’s hands. They spat out two different lies, thinking they got away with it as Ella put back on her headphones and resumed the movie. Neither saw the smirk and gleam in Ella’s eyes or realized that she would soon be conveying the information to Poppy.

* * *

“I’m here!” announced Jordan walking through the cottage. She found her family sitting on the porch that overlooked the lake, enjoying some afternoon drinks. “Don’t all get up at once!”

Tessa was talking to Megan about the new fashion line, while Kevin and Casey were arguing about the latest trades for the Blue Jays. Jordan frowned upon the anti-climatic nature of her arrival, mainly when she didn’t spot the familiar hazel eyes in the crowd or any of her nieces.

“Ah, the tattle-tale sibling arrived, Case. Be careful what you say now,” teased Kevin.

Jordan rolled her eyes, opening her mouth to say something but was quickly interrupted by her mother.

“Oh, Jordan, you’re here. That’s wonderful! How was the traffic from the city, dear?” asked Kate, walking in behind her with a tray of cookies and freshly cut fruit.

“Brutal, as usual. Everyone heading to the cottage for the long weekend. Where are—“

Kate was quick to answer, already anticipating Jordan’s question. “Scott volunteered to take Poppy and Ella down to the water while they were whining. Do you want anything to drink?”

“I’ll have a Molson in a bit,” said Jordan. She stepped onto the porch, glanced at her family, before staring down at the water. She could make out Scott running around with Ella on his back while Poppy chased after them. “So is Scott avoiding us or what?”

Casey smirked, “We could say the same about your man. Scott showed up and where is—“

“He is coming after dinner, asshole. Some people have to work,” said Jordan sticking out her tongue at Casey. Both Casey and Kevin started laughing before they continued their sports talk while drinking beer.

“You four haven’t even been together for five minutes and are already arguing,” sighed Kate, taking her place next to Tessa. “Jordan, did you remember to pick up the chocolate for the smores tonight?”

“Yes, stopped on the store on the way,” She said, plopping down next to Kevin and Casey. “Tess, did you remember to bring that dress I wanted to borrow for my work event in a few weeks?”

Tessa didn’t respond; instead, her thoughts and gaze were directed towards the lakefront watching Scott show Ella and Poppy how to skip rocks across the water. Scott was crouching down beside Ella and helping her find the perfect stone to skip across the water, while Poppy kept throwing large rocks that would only cause one big splash. She managed to tune out the other noise on the porch and solely focus on the faint sound of Scott’s laughter which only caused her to smile.

“Calling Tessa, you there?” said Jordan loudly. She reached over and picked up a grape off the fruit platter and chucked it at Tessa.

Tessa jumped when she felt the grape hit her cheek and looked over at Jordan, her eyes narrowing. “What the hell, Jo!”

“Damn Jordan, you still remember what we taught you!” laughed Kevin, raising his beer and toasting to her.

Jordan grinned and winked at Kevin, before focusing her attention back to Tessa. “You were ignoring me. I asked if you brought the dress we talked about over lunch,” She said, grabbing a grape to pop in her mouth.

“Yeah, it is in the garment bag in my closet,” replied Tessa, her state shifting once again towards the lake.

The conversation was suddenly interrupted by the faint sound of a baby following by soothing noises. Tessa turned her head, a smile on her face, while Michele emerged bouncing the crying infant. Bags were present under her eyes, a demeanor showcasing her lack of sleep and frustration, but she still managed to smile and greet Jordan and Tessa. Kevin stood up immediately and took his son from Michele’s arms, giving Michele the chance to hug Tessa and Jordan.

“Sorry about that. Luke has been fussy for days now, with his teeth coming,” said Michele taking her spot in the wicker rocking chair. “We were finally getting some sleep when you guys arrived, and then he woke up screaming again.”

“Don’t worry about it,” smiled Tessa, “have you tried the teething ring? Did wonders for me and Mark with Ella.”

“Yes, and we even tried just rubbing the gums. Kev thinks we should hold off getting over the counter medicine, but I think it has reached the point--”

Kevin rolled his eyes and lightly bounced Luke, whose fussing had dissipated. “Michele, look he is fine. Just a few stretches here and there, we can handle it.”

Kate started chuckling and stood up. “Oh sweetheart, you are naive. Your teething was just as bad as Luke’s, and we had to get some medicine for you.” She walked out of the porch leaving the siblings and wives to themselves.

“I’m just exhausted,” sighed Michele. She leaned back in the chair and closed her eyes. “I can’t even imagine how Luke is feeling.”

Tessa nodded, fondly recalling those days. Ella went through her phases as an infant, and a big part of the struggles was adjusting to becoming a parent. It was new territory and new adventure, one that differed between each baby. She remembered reading all of those parenting books, going to parenting classes with Mark, and being slightly uneasy about the variance between each baby. She feared what type of baby Ella would be, worried that she wouldn’t know the best method to make Ella happy, healthy, and safe.

Luke started getting fussy again in Kevin’s arms, and he let out a small groan, looking helplessly over at Michele.

Tessa stood up, her motherly instinct and desire to help kicked in. “Kev, why don’t I take Luke down to the lake? I can give you and Michele a short break, and he might be too fascinated by the waves to care about his teeth.”

“Are you sure you want to put up with the fussing?” He asked.

She smiled at her brother and shaking her head. “Been there done that with Ella. Michele, you don’t mind, do you?”

“Of course not! Let me grab the baby carrier.” Michele left in a blink of the eye, while Kevin bounced Luke upon and down.

“I’ll come with you, Tess. Should probably go say hi to the gang at the beach,” said Jordan.

Within minutes Luke was secured in the carrier around Tessa, as they descended towards the lakefront. He managed to only let out small whines of discomfort but was more focused on the lush greenery surrounding them. Tessa kept glancing at Luke and cooing at him while pointing at the birds and butterflies in the air. Jordan walked alongside Tessa staring out at Scott building a sandcastle with Ella while glancing over at Tessa and her nephew.

“I am having major baby fever,” said Tessa breaking the silence between her and Jordan. She stopped on the pathway and leaned down to kiss Luke’s head. She glanced over at Jordan who was looking at the two of them with a small smile. “Feels like just yesterday Ella was this little. Soon she will be five and going into Kindergarten. Can you believe it?”

Jordan shook her head, gazing back out at Ella who was piling sand in a bucket. “I can’t. Feels like just yesterday you told us you were pregnant. God, Mom, cried which caused me to cry followed by you and Mark. Hard to believe how much has changed.”

“Mark and I were going to start trying for another kid before he died. Did I ever tell you that?”

“No.”

Tessa bit her lip and nodded, as they continued to stand in place. “Mark always dreamed of having a big family. He wanted to fill the house with kids since that was the large family he always envisioned. I wanted more too, I wanted that life with him.”

“Do you still want more kids even with Mark gone?”

“Yes,” said Tessa staring out at Scott, “I don’t think that longing will ever change.”

Jordan noticed what Tessa was looking at, her lips immediately curving downward. She still didn’t know how to feel about Tessa and Scott being together, especially after all of the emotional turmoil that occurred over the past twenty years. The last thing Jordan wanted was to see either of them broken again. “You want a family with Scott,” stated Jordan.

“We haven’t formally discussed it but—“

“I just have trouble seeing it. You, Scott, children of your own.” Jordan stated straight out to the lakefront, not daring to make eye contact with Tessa.

“Scott, Ella, and I are family,” insisted Tessa, “you just haven’t seen it yet.”

“Guess you’ll prove me wrong,” half-heartedly laughed Jordan.

Their feet hit the warm sand, and Luke let out a delightful squeal once he saw the waves. The two Virtue sisters began walking over towards Scott, who had looked up from the sand castle with Ella giving them a large smile.

It was Poppy who ran out of the lake first and flung herself towards Jordan. “Auntie JoJo! You have finally arrived!” Her arms immediately wrapped around Jordan’s waist giving her a tight hug.

“Hey, Pops. I missed you. Are you having fun?”

“Yes! Scott was teaching Ella and me a lot of cool things. He showed us how to skip rocks across the water and then showed us how to make the best sandcastles ever!” exclaimed Poppy.

Ella quickly followed and skipped towards Tessa and Jordan, while Scott stood up from the sand and brushed it off of his legs. Tessa and Scott made eye contact, both smiling at each other. Luke turned around as much as he could in the carrier, pointing towards Scott and letting out a small squeal of delight.

“Mommy! Aunt JoJo!” said Ella, out of breath when she approached them. “Look at my castle I made with Scott!”

“Oh wow. It looks amazing! Did you add a moat?” asked Jordan. She lifted Ella up and gave her a big hug. She swung her back and forth listening to Ella’s laughter fill the shoreline.

Scott approached them with his usual wide, goofy grin on his face. “Ah, the wicked Virtue sisters. Coming to make sure I’m behaving?”

Tessa started laughing, and Jordan gave Tessa a side-glance. She rolled her eyes beneath her sunglasses. Tessa never failed to laugh at any of Scott’s jokes no matter how corny they were. It always amused Jordan, especially when she had no clue if Tessa opted to giggle to make Scott feel good or if Scott was actually the funniest man alive to her.

“Hey, Jordan. It’s been a long time, how’s it going?” said Scott. He walked up towards Jordan and gave her his characteristic warm hug, followed by a quick kiss on her cheek. “Toronto traffic that bad, eh?”

“You have no clue, especially for the long weekend. Is it strange to be back here? Don’t think you have been here since Poppy was little.” Jordan glanced over at Poppy and Ella who were in their own little world.

“Yeah, it’s been awhile. Nice to see all of the renovations brought to life. When is Dax arriving?”

“As soon as he is off of work he will heading here. He had to work a full day today, with some reports being due at 5. When do you head back to Montreal? Soon?”

Scott glanced over at Tessa who was shifting her weight back and forth, before swallowing. “Yeah, unfortunately pretty soon. Lots of work to be done before the training camp, especially with a handful of teams moving up to senior this year.”

Their conversation quickly died down when they heard the cooing escape Tessa’s lips. They both glanced over at Tessa, who was rubbing noses with Luke. The small infant hands were on either side of Tessa’s face, giggling as she murmured inaudible things. A smile spread across Scott’s face, his eyes lighting up when he saw the way Tessa interacted with her nephew. He could only imagine what she was like around Ella.

“Looks like he finally calmed down after that fussiness earlier,” said Scott. He walked behind Tessa and leaned over her shoulder to gaze down at Luke. “Hey there, buddy. Do you like the outdoors?”

Tessa smiled down at Luke, before meeting Scott’s eyes. “Sometimes a new environment is all they need to forget about the pain. Something is mesmerizing about seeing a body of water for the first time, I remember Ella was the same way.”

“How old is he?”

“Eight and a half months. Michele and Kev had him a week after Thanksgiving,” Tessa started swaying back and forth, while Luke stared out at the lake. He was filled with fascination and immediately tuned out the voices around him to focus on the water while sucking on his thumb.

“God, I remember when my own nieces and nephews were this little. So filled with adventure and a sense of wonder. I wish I got to see that every day, not every couple months.”

“Maybe you will someday,” probed Tessa.

Scott glanced down at Luke then back at Tessa, her green eyes sparkling more than usual. “Yeah, maybe one day.”

Tessa’s heart fluttered. She looked at Luke and saw the way he and Scott were staring at one another, both fascinated by one another’s presence. She swallowed and asked, “Do you want to hold him?”

Meanwhile, Jordan had gravitated towards Poppy and Ella to build another sandcastle. She was sitting in the sand helping her nieces fill a bucket, her gaze never completely leaving Tessa and Scott. She saw the way they looked at each other, the same gaze that the entire world saw over the years. Instead this time something was a bit different, there was this added element to it that made their inner desire to be each other even more prevalent. A gaze that made Jordan’s own heart flutter, realizing that Tessa wasn’t lying when she said this time it was different.

Jordan watched Scott lift Luke from the baby carrier, an ear-to-ear grin spread on his face. “You don’t mind if I hold you, do you? You just want to watch the waves,” cooed Scott, the protective instinct kicking in.

Tessa smiled and ran her hand through the small wisps on Luke’s head. “Teething isn’t fun, is it Luke?”

“Dat?” said Luke pointing out to the water.

“What’s that? That’s called a lake. It’s like a huge bathtub,” chuckled Scott. “If we are lucky we might see a sailboat or speedboat go by. Do you know what that is?”

He shook his head.

“Well, your Aunt Tess and I will have to show you.”

Luke smiled and started patting his hands enthusiastically against Scott’s chest, finally breaking his gaze from the water. Scott and Tessa began laughing, with Tessa resting her head on Scott’s shoulder while they idly chatted and played with Luke.

Jordan meanwhile had broken her gaze to help Ella dig a moat for the sandcastle. She figured she would give Scott and Tessa their moment with the baby before she would question Scott a lot more extensively. Despite feeling more reassured about their relationship, there were still some unsettled thoughts. What would happen when Scott would return to work? Did they both want the same thing in the future?  
“Aunt Jojo?” asked Ella.

Jordan’s thoughts dissipated from her mind, looking over at her niece. “What’s up Ells?”

“Are Mommy and Scott together?”

“What do you mean Ella?” swallowed Jordan trying her best to put on a poker face.

Ella shrugged and looked over at Tessa and Scott, who were laughing about something that her cousin did. “I don’t know. They just have sleepovers a lot and were holding hands today.”

“They have a, uh, unique friendship,” Jordan said, “doesn’t mean they are together romantically.”

“Unique?” Ella tilted her head.

Jordan stiffly nodded her head, cursing in her thoughts. She wondered what Ella would have thought about Tessa and Scott’s friendship if Mark were still alive. Sure, some of their shenanigans would have ceased to exist, but it would never prevent their strange ability to read each other’s minds. “Unique as in not normal. They spent a lot of their lives skating together to the point where they are very close.”

Ella’s eyes narrowed slightly, not wholly believing her aunt. “Poppy said she saw them kiss when she was little. Is that unique?”

“Ella!” shouted Poppy, “I told you not to tell anyone!”

“Sorry,” blushed Ella.

“Okay, how about I go change into my swimsuit, and we get in the water? I heard Grandma got you two some new toys for the lake.”

Jordan’s suggestion was followed by cheers from her two nieces who quickly forgot about Tessa and Scott.

* * *

“Where’s your girl?” asked Jordan. She walked towards Scott, who laid in the hammock that swung slowly. She took her seat in one of the Muskoka chairs and stared at Scott.

  
“Where’s your man?” replied Scott with a crooked smile.

“I asked you first,” smugly replied Jordan. She broke her gaze from Scott to stare out at the moonlit lake. “Thought you two would be on a romantic walk down the lake. It is beautiful out there.”

Scott followed her gaze and nodded his head. “She’s putting Ella down, and then we will be. Surprised you aren’t doing the same with Dax.”

Jordan crossed her arms over her chest and settled back into the chair. “Casey and Kevin are giving him an interrogation. Protective older brothers and all.”

“Ah, and I don’t get that? Damn thought I was more special than that.” He snapped his fingers and shook his head scowling before he met Jordan’s eyes and started laughing. “So how is it actually going, Jord? We haven’t really had a moment to catch up.”

She shrugged. “Good for the most part. Been busy at the firm with several cases, but it is nice coming home and knowing that someone is there waiting for me. You know?”

Scott silently agreed.

Jordan continued, “After my breakup with Tobin and calling off the engagement I thought I would never fall in love again. I enjoyed being single, focusing on bettering myself, but--”

“But then you met Dax, and he changed your whole world,” finished Scott to a surprised Jordan. He chuckled and shook his head. “I know that feeling well. I never thought I could move on after T, but I did. Well, I moved on only for a bit considering I am divorced.”

She stared at Scott for quite some time, trying to figure out what to say. There were so many questions that ran through Jordan’s head, wanting that reassurance that both Tessa and Scott wouldn’t go through another breakup together. The first one was already hard enough, for everyone involved.

“Did you really move on though?” asked Jordan breaking the silence. “You told me on their wedding night that your heart would never fully belong to anyone else. And now that you two are trying again, it makes me wonder if what you said was true.”

“Jordan, don’t doubt that I never loved Kaylie--”

She held up her hand in a “stop” motion, biting her head and shaking it. “I do not doubt it. I’m simply asking if your heart truly belonged to her the way it does to Tessa.”

Scott frowned and looked away from Jordan. He knew the answer and had known the answer ever since he first saw Tessa at the visitation, but lived in a state of denial. He was going through a divorce, she was mourning her late husband, and the last thing he wanted to do was make either one of their lives more complicated. “There is always a piece of my heart reserved for Tess. Jordan, I know you may have your doubts, but know that I am--”

“Committed, yeah, I know. You said that last time.”

“The circumstances were different.”

“How are they different this time?” She quickly returned.

They met eyes briefly before Jordan turned her head downwards.

She had her reasons for her hesitancy to accept Scott and Tessa, and played through the what-if scenarios, not wanting the same thing to happen to them again. Jordan knew about Tessa’s miscarriage, she knew Tessa going through that combined with the miscarriage was enough to tear them apart, something that Scott had no clue about at the time. Jordan also knew that Scott remained entirely in love and broken at Tessa’s wedding, a situation Tessa still remained unaware of. It was these moments for Jordan when she saw both of the heartaches they were going through, that made her nervous. She couldn’t bear for it to not work again.

“Scott,” Jordan began, “you know that I love you like family. I just am nervous that it once again will not work out. I saw Tess go through the miscarriage, I saw your heart break at her wedding, and I saw how distance strained you. What if distance does this again? What if you have kids and a miscarriage happens again? It just makes me hesitant--”

“I know,” Scott said cutting her off. He looked at Jordan with sad eyes. “I keep thinking about the distance too, but Tess and I have already discussed this can’t be forever. My contract at Gadbois is up at the end of the season, and I have options to reevaluate. I don’t want to lose her again Jordan because losing her once nearly made me irreparable.” He swallowed at the old recollection of what happened that entire wedding.

Jordan let out her breath that she held in, already seeming a bit more relaxed.

“I have the ring,” stated Scott.  
Her eyes widened in response. “You never gave it away? Mom and I surely thought that Grandma’s diamond would be gone.”

Scott shook his head, “Nah, Chiddy still had it. I guess he couldn’t bring himself to take it to a jeweler to remove the diamond and send it back to Kate.”

Both paused. The only sound that could be heard were the crickets chirping in the distance, and the occasional call of a loon on the lake. Jordan played with her fingers and kept staring at the moon’s reflection on the lake unsure what to say.

Luckily, Scott managed to break the silence first. “I know it sounds crazy, and it is hard to explain, but when I saw that ring again, I just got this feeling . . . This feeling that I was about to spend the rest of my life with my person. She is who I want, and I want her more than I ever had in my entire life.”

Jordan stared at Scott, seeing the sincerity pouring through his face. She wanted the world for Tessa, just as much as any other family member, and as she reflected on everything she saw and heard today, Jordan had a feeling that Scott would finally be the right person to complete Tessa’s world. There were the interactions with Scott and Ella around the cottage, and the stolen glances at Tessa. They were infatuated with each other, an intensity greater than it had ever been before. Maybe, it was time for Jordan to break down her protective barrier and let Scott in again.

“Well, then I want you two to be happy,” whispered Jordan. She looked over at Scott, a bit of water forming in the corners of her eyes. “Because after this roller coaster everyone has experienced, I think it is about damn time you be together.”

Scott laughed and climbed off the hammock to give Jordan a hug, a slight burning sensation in his own eyes. He hugged Jordan’s small frame and held her tightly against his chest, both of them laughing and crying at the same time. She pulled away first and squeezed his biceps and wiped at her eyes.

“God, this is weird, Moir. Why is it that our last interactions have resulted in tears? The wedding, the funeral, and now this?”

Scott grinned, “Because Jordan, it has been quite the journey.”

“An exhausting one at that,” She added, both of them laughing, “can you promise me something though?”

He raised an eyebrow and looked at Tessa’s sister curiously.

“Can you make sure you tell me how, when, and where you are going to propose? Or if you need any help let me know because I would love to help with one of my sister’s proposals.”

“Mark never asked or told you?” Scott said in disbelief.

“No.”

His mouth opened in shock, but he immediately closed it.

Jordan stared at him for a while then shrugged. “Mark was a great guy, but he didn’t always know what T wanted the way you did. Guess that’s what made you two different.”

Scott nodded, “I find that hard to believe.”

Jordan smiled, “guess I took over your job with finding the flaws in him. Now, do you have any clue how you’re going to propose?”

Scott chuckled, his ears turning slightly red.

She leaned forward, her forearms resting on her thighs. “Come on, Moir. Don’t act like you haven’t thought about this.”

“I have,” He said, “but I won’t spill it all to you.”

“One detail, please.”

“Nah, I don’t want any accidental secret-spilling from you. Remember Tessa’s birthday present you ruined?”

Jordan narrowed her eyes and then quickly brushed it off. “You surprised her on a trip to Aruba. Did you really think she would be okay just to pack a bag without specifics?”

“I said warm and tropical. Then you had to go and spill more details about where.”

“Hey, at least I didn’t tell her about the hotel room surprise. She had no clue about the private dinners, the rose petals, and whatever other tooth-rotting romantic moments you had planned. I can’t even remember them because it was every detail possible. Did you know that you are a walking rom-com?”

Scott rolled his eyes. “When it is time then I’ll tell you and Kate everything. Still, have to even make sure Kate is accepting--” He paused and frowned when he heard Jordan’s laughter echo from the outdoors. She snorted and shook her head. “Why are you laughing?”

“Because if you think I was bad, wait until you talk to Mom.”

* * *

Tessa sat on the edge on one of the lower bunk beds in the designated kids' room at the cottage. It was one of the last renovations that were done to the cottage, which ended up being one of Tessa’s favorite rooms. There were four bunk beds built into one of the walls that faced a large bay window that overlooked the lake. The colors were soft in the room with the added elements of the rustic French cottage style her and her mom adored, but had enough of a kid vibe to it with the added toys and drawings (with Ella hanging some new pictures proudly on the bulletin board).

“Mommy, why do I have to sleep?” whined Ella. She shifted underneath the covers and brushed her hair out of her face. “Poppy and I wanted to play a bit longer.”

Tessa giggled and pulled up the covers underneath Ella’s chin. “Because we have a busy day tomorrow. There is the parade in the town nearby, tubing with Uncle Casey and Uncle Kevin, and then we have our big meal and fireworks.”

Ella pouted, “but it is unfair. I like nighttime better than morning.”

Tessa smiled knowing that feeling well. She had always been a night person. She loved curling up in her comfy pajamas with a cup of hot cocoa and a good book. There was something about night time when everything was peaceful, and still, that made her the happiest. Everyone told her that one day she would be a morning person because of all of the early morning practices, but never once did that day come.

She still wanted to throw the alarm across the room when it went off in the morning and still wasn’t fully functional until a cup of coffee and a piece of toast. The only thing that made her mornings a little more bearable was Scott and seeing Ella’s smile.

“How about you can stay up late tomorrow to watch the fireworks? You know that they will be going on for hours tomorrow,” suggested Tessa.

Ella thought about it for a few seconds, still not completely satisfied. “But I want to play with Poppy more tonight.”

“Honey, Poppy already fell asleep up there. I’m sure you will be sound asleep in no time.”

Her daughter grumbled, “fine but can we have pancakes for breakfast?”

“I think that can be arranged,” Tessa said poking Ella’s nose lightly, “come on let’s say our prayer.”

They repeated the same prayer that they established over a year ago. Ella knew the routine well and soon snuggled further underneath the blanket, continuing to clutch Sir Bunchkins closer against her chest. Tessa leaned over and gave Ella a kiss on the forward before walking over towards the door, she turned back when her hand was on the doorknob.

“I love you, Ella. Have a good sleep,” She softly said.

“I love you too, Mommy,” faintly replied Ella.

Tessa smiled and glanced up at Poppy, who was sound asleep. She shut the door quietly and began walking down the stairs to find Scott. They hadn’t had much alone time since their arrival at the cottage, which was to be expected, but both were anxious to have that time where it was just them.

She slid on her sandals and began walking towards the backdoor, in which she was greeted by Jordan. Tessa spotted the red rims on Jordan’s eyes and immediately widened her eyes, reaching out to touch her sister’s arm.

“Tess, I’m fine. I just talked to Scott,” She said.

“What?” Tessa said shocked.

Jordan smiled, “don’t worry, nothing bad. I’m happy for you two, just thought I would say that. I’m going to go rescue Dax from Casey and Kevin. See you in the morning?”

She walked around the corner disappearing out back where the boys were. Tessa stared down the hallway Jordan went and then out towards the waterfront. As she got closer to the screen door that led outback, she could make out the low hum of the country music and Scott standing with his back towards her. His hands were buried in his pocket, the back of his hair messy and his locks curling slightly at the end.

Tessa put on her sandals and crossed her arms over her chest, slowly walking down the steps towards him. He didn’t move around even with her foot hit the creaky step. She smiled and was soon behind him sliding her arms around his body while resting her cheek against his chest.

“Fancy having you join me,” Scott hummed, both of his hands covering hers. “Ella settled for bed?”

“Mhmm,” She murmured into his back, “she wasn’t happy about it. I promised that she could stay up late tomorrow for the fireworks to compromise.”

He chuckled, “she would make a good lawyer someday. Four years old going on five and already can make compromises.” Scott turned around feeling Tessa’s hands slide away from his chest. He looked down at her and tucked a stray hair behind her ears, cupping her face. “Ready to go for our walk?”

She smiled, “more than anything.”

* * *

The waves from the lake were softly dribbling onto the sand in a steady, soothing rhythm as Tessa and Scott walked along the shore. Their abandoned shoes laid on the bottom step, both opting to feel the sand under their warm feet. Each time the slightly more robust wave crossed that fine barrier, Tessa squealed slightly squeezing Scott’s hand a little harder. He would laugh along with her squeal, only to pause and kiss her on the lips waiting until the next wave covered their feet.

It was these simple moments that made both of them feel like their relationship was invincible. It was a ridiculous notion, both knowing that there were external factors that still needed to be addressed, but neither cared. Scott focused on the way Tessa’s eyes sparkled in the moonlight and the way her laugh echoed across the beach no matter how lame of a joke he would say. He loved her for that, loved her for always finding a way to laugh and smile around him.

Sometimes he wondered how he survived those years without Tessa in his life.

He remembered the years of fun interviews over the years asking what his number one fear was. Scott always claimed it was mascots, which turn out to be a more or less exaggerated fear. His greatest fear had always been losing Tessa, a fear that wasn’t fully brought to life until he saw the engagement ring on her finger. A fear that continued to hold true when Scott woke up the morning after the bar, hungover and confused what was the truth and what was a dream from hell. The reality was too much to bear, and he knew that his worst fear had become a reality.

Now having Tessa back in his life felt like order had been restored. He saw that future with her that he always envisioned, and he hoped that she would want the same thing as him. They wanted different things a long time ago, but now it felt like they were on the same page, for once.

His thoughts were brought back to reality when they reached the end of the beach before they entered another cottage’s property. They stared ahead at the dimly lit windows in other cottages, their chests growing heavy at the thought of retreating their peaceful sanctuary to return to their cottage.

With just one exchange with each other did they know that they were on the same page.

“Want to just sit and talk?” suggested Scott.

Tessa nodded.

They walked back halfway down the beach sitting center to the moon overlooking the lake. Scott sat down the first and opened up his legs and arms enough so Tessa could sit in between them. Tessa smiled as she situated her back against Scott’s chest, her eyes fluttering shut when she felt his lips press a kiss into her shoulder.

“The calm before the storm tomorrow here,” mused Tessa.

“Did Kate invite the usual neighbors?”

“More like the entire shoreline.”

They both laughed and shook their heads. Their entire life Kate had been adamant about including some of the other neighbors, saying that it was essential to maintain a healthy relationship with them to keep an eye on their cottage when it was vacated. The neighbors surrounding the cottage lived there year round, whereas the Virtue cottage was primarily used for the warmer months. So every year, Kate invited the neighbors for fireworks, campfires, and booze stating it maintained the friendly relationship.

After a few moments of silence, Scott placed a kiss in Tessa’s hair. He unwrapped his arms from her chest and rested his palms in the sand, both of them continuing to stare out at the lake. “T, can I ask you something?” He asked.

“Yeah, anything.”

Scott knew he had to blunt and didn’t hold back. “Where do you see this relationship heading?”

She paused for a second, then turned her head slightly around to meet his gaze. “What do you mean?”

“I know you talked about wanting marriage and another baby one day, but is that with me?” The insecurity seemed to flood through him right then. Scott saw the look in Tessa’s eyes, felt the way her body tensed at the question, causing his heart to race. “Shit, sorry. Forget that--”

She completely twisted herself around in the sand, on her knees to face Scott at eye-level. Her finger covered his lips, “shh, don’t freak out. You barely have given me the chance to answer.” She smiled at him and inched herself closer. Her tantalizing breath danced closely to his lips. “I want it all with you, Scott. Marriage, kids, watching Jeopardy when we are old.”

He felt his entire body melt as those words escaped Tessa’s lips. “I want it all too, Tutu. That is what I have wanted for so long, and then I was lost and--”

She moved even closer, cutting him off to complete his sentence, “We found each other again, that is what matters. I don’t want marriage right now, but never doubt that I don’t want you in my life, in Ella’s life.”

“We need to tell her soon, T. It kills me that she doesn’t know when we are so happy.” He brushed parts of her hair away from her face, then touched his nose against hers.

“I know,” whispered Tessa, “we will find a time to tell her. Not this weekend, this weekend can’t just be about us. Although, I can’t wait to see her face when she knows.”

Scott smiled, “I can’t wait either. She’s the perfect girl, just like her mother.”

The smile ceased to fall from Tessa’s face. She ran her tongue over her lips and moved her chest closer to Scott’s, her legs wrapping around his waist. “Thank you for loving us and being in our lives.”

“Thank you for allowing me to be here,” He replied.

Scott sealed the gap between them pressing his soft lips up against hers. His tongue traced the bottom of her lip, her mouth opening up to his gesture immediately. Their tongues met, and their lips moved in perfect unison, neither one of them wanting to stop this moment. Her hands found the bottom of his hair and tugged on it slightly, hearing the moan come from the back of his throat.

“I love you,” He said a few minutes later. He pressed a kiss on Tessa's nose and then ran his hand through her hair. “I can’t wait to see what our future holds.”

“Me either,” She said before kissing him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! I'm back and once again changing how many chapters this story will be. Thinking it may be 29 or 30, depending on a few factors. Nonetheless, it is still the beginning of the end.
> 
> I'm sorry I hardly responded to last chapter's previous comments, but I did read them all and they all brought joy to me. I always appreciate comments and feedback. :)
> 
> P.S. I tried messing around with the formatting for when the document is transferred to AO3. Is it better on your end?


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